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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23718235">Ships Passing in the Night</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/galaxy_neozone/pseuds/galaxy_neozone'>galaxy_neozone</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>A Look, A Voice, Darkness And A Silence [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>127 are frat boys, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Am I doing it right?, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Implied Past Abuse/Neglect of a Minor, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Luwoo, M/M, Multi, NCT Dream - Freeform, NCT U, OT21 (NCT), Other, Panic Attacks, Pining, Slow Burn, The whole gang is here, Transmigration, WayV - Freeform, also where is mark, but no one knows each other, chensung (platonic cause they babies), dotae, haechan is in a living nightmare, haechan is not okay with that, i can feel it, johnny and mark are missing, johnten, markhyuck, mentioned minor character death, more tags to come as we go, nct 127, norenmin, so how does one tag anyway?, so much pining, this is gonna be a long one, very brief reference but tagging to be safe, which looks a lot like a hallmark movie he saw once, yuwin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 22:00:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>282,168</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23718235</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/galaxy_neozone/pseuds/galaxy_neozone</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>One minute, Haechan is falling asleep in the dorm after a 127 schedule. The next he’s waking up as Lee Donghyuck, a high school student in a tiny, nowhere town that sounds oddly familiar.</p>
<p>No one around here has ever heard of NCT, half the older members are living the frat boy stereotype in college, and it’s as if Mark and Johnny never existed at all. Something is seriously wrong with this picture, and time is running out to make it right.</p>
<p>Haechan never realised just how much he relied on his brothers until they were all suddenly leading their own separate lives, without him. He needs to bring them all together in this strange new life, no matter what it takes, or risk losing them forever.</p>
<p>Or, the one in which Haechan misses his family but they don't even know he exists. And he's really not okay with that.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Suh Youngho | Johnny, Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Nakamoto Yuta, Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno, Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin, Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Lee Taeyong, Kim Jungwoo/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, Park Jisung &amp; Zhong Chen Le</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>A Look, A Voice, Darkness And A Silence [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1845535</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1866</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2529</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi. So this is my first fic for NCT, and it's been writing itself in my head for weeks.</p><p>Just know that this is going to be a long one because I can't stop once I start something. So strap in.</p><p>New chapters hopefully at least twice a week (or as often as possible).</p><p>Thanks for dropping by. I hope you enjoy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Haechan-ah?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Blinking owlishly at the bright screen in front of him, Haechan startled slightly at the sound of his roommate’s voice. He’d assumed Johnny had fallen asleep hours ago<span>—</span>indeed, a glance at the small clock in the corner of the screen indicated that it was well past 4 am.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes, hyung?” He didn't turn to look at the older man, knowing that he was likely sprawled out on his bed on the opposite side of their moderately sized room, as he had been the last three times he had checked. Johnny didn’t often stir in his sleep, which suited Haechan just fine. It meant fewer distractions when playing his video games, and Johnny had long since learned to sleep through any particularly loud explosions and drama happening on screen.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why are you still awake?” Johnny asked, his voice gruff and deepened from sleep. “You know that we have a schedule in the morning.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s fine, Johnny-hyung,” Haechan said dismissively, fingers flying across the keyboard as he scoped out his next kill. “I’ll sleep in a minute.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Haechan!” The bite in Johnny’s voice made Haechan pause for a heartbeat, just long enough for his opponent to execute a neat head-shot, then the screen went black. With a sigh, Haechan turned to face his roommate, rubbing his tired eyes with the back of his hands.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Nice one, hyung. I’m dead now anyway, so I’ll sleep.” As he watched, an indecipherable mix of emotions crossed Johnny’s face and the older man frowned. Haechan didn't like seeing the disapproval in his eyes, especially when it was directed at him. “It’s no big deal.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We’ve talked about this, Haechan,” Johnny muttered, rolling over so that he could sit up in bed. He stretched, arms completing a wide arc that caught Haechan’s eye, and leant forward to rest his elbows on his knees, feet planted firmly into the carpet between their beds. “You’ve been really tired these last few weeks. I covered for you with manager-hyung today, but I know that Taeyong and the choreographers noticed all of your mistakes in practice today. We all did.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I<span>—</span>” Haechan blinked once, twice, watching Johnny’s face for signs of a joke or a lie. Nothing. Just the truth, written plain as if the older man had hung a sign on the wall above his head proclaiming his disapproval. “It’s just one day. One mistake. I’ll sort it out, I swear.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He knew that he’d been slacking off a bit too much lately, especially with a 127 comeback looming and new choreo and promotions that required his attention. He’d had a few<span>—</span>dozen<span>—</span>late nights playing games, but Johnny had joined him for most of them. It wasn’t fair for his roommate to be criticising him, not when Johnny usually spent just as many late nights in the digital world. Although now he thought about it, all of his usual partners had started finding excuses lately. He couldn’t quite recall the last time Jaehyun had accepted one of his calls after midnight, and Johnny had been crawling in bed earlier and earlier lately.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s not just one mistake, Haechan-ah. Everyone has mentioned it, and I can’t keep covering for you. You’re not a kid anymore.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Haechan opened his mouth to respond but nothing came out. Thoughts flitted in and out, grasping for his attention, but one thing stuck in the front of his mind.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’ve all talked about me?” He was hurt, and more than a little embarrassed. He knew that he wasn’t working quite as hard as he should this comeback, and that he needed to do better, but the idea of his hyungs discussing his failings made his stomach clench painfully.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We had to, Donghyuck. It affects all of us if you mess up. I’m<span>—</span>” Haechan didn’t want to hear anymore. Features hardening, he pushed up from his computer chair quickly and pushed it back forcefully with his foot. It hit his desk with a loud smack, and Johnny blinked in surprise. “Donghyuck?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Don’t call me that,” Haechan snapped, eyes swimming with moisture despite the anger that tried to push up into his chest. Johnny only called him by his real name when he was annoyed or disappointed, and Haechan didn’t think he could deal with his hyung telling him any more of the uncomfortable truth that he could see reflected in those deep, all-knowing eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I get that you’re disappointed. I fucked up, okay. I don’t need you to keep lecturing me about it. Just go back to sleep.” Moving towards the door, heading to the bathroom down the hall, Haechan knew he should stop before he went too far, but he couldn’t help the words spewing from his mouth. “I should have known you’d all be talking about me behind my back. I hate being the maknae sometimes. No one appreciates me.” Reaching the door, he gripped the handle tightly, turning to glare at Johnny. “Nobody cares about my feelings.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Johnny stared up at him, mouth open in shock, but said nothing as Haechan stormed out of their room and slammed the door behind him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>--</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ten minutes later, contemplating his own reflection in the large mirror above the communal sink, Haechan came to the realisation that he’d made a huge mistake. After calming his pounding heart and splashing his heated face with cold water, he had slowly come back to his senses. Taking a few minutes to think, to assess his behaviour, he knew that he’d been rude and disrespectful.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It wasn’t fair that his members had talked about him behind his back, but he shouldn’t have taken it out on Johnny. The older man was only telling him this because he was the one unfortunate enough to room with the maknae. It could have just as easily been one of the others.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> No one appreciates me. Nobody cares about my feelings. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The words spoken in anger swam through his mind slowly, leaving an unpleasant aftertaste on his tongue. He hadn't meant to say them but, now that they were out in the universe, he realised that there was probably some truth to them. He hadn’t realised the full truth of his feelings, but he had been feeling a little ignored by the older members lately. They were all busy with individual schedules, hosting duties and new projects that Haechan wasn’t a part of. Which was fine, he swore it was fine. But maybe it wasn’t.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s not fair,” he muttered to himself, watching as a strand of hair slipped free from the rest and fell across his eye. Shoving it aside, he scoffed at his reflection. He wasn’t sure what colour his hair was anymore<span>—</span>a faded peach, he’d guess, with the consistency of straw from the constant abuse his stylists put it through. His eyes were dark, rimmed with heavy-set circles indicating his lack of sleep. His complexion was still more golden than the rest of his members, but even the smooth expanse of skin on his arms and face looked sallow and washed out in the harsh artificial lighting above the sink. It almost looked yellow, rather than the golden brown he had always been quietly proud of, and Haechan wondered how he hadn’t noticed before. When had he started to look so…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Miserable.” He completed his silent revelation with a single bitter word, spat out into the bathroom. He looked miserable, ill even. He looked like shit, and yet no one except Johnny had said anything. No one had cared enough to ask him if he was okay<span>—</span>ignoring for the moment that this was almost entirely his fault<span>—</span>and Johnny had only spoken up because he’d been woken up in the middle of the night. It was an immature thought process, he knew, but it was true.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Maybe, Haechan mused, as he continued to watch the tiny, involuntary twitch of his left cheek muscle as he hunched over in front of the mirror, they really just didn’t care anymore. Didn't care about him, unless he was messing things up for them. Making mistakes that would harm the whole team, and not just him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Nobody cares about my feelings. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>With that sobering thought resurfacing, Haechan pushed up off the sink and quickly finished his night-time routine. He almost didn't bother, wondering if it was even worth it to look after a body that looked ready to fall apart at any moment, but eventually forced himself to wash his face and brush his teeth. Tonight, that would have to do. After all, no one would notice if he skipped a few steps. No one looked that closely unless he was on stage, and that wouldn’t be for a few weeks yet.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Heading back towards the room he shared with Johnny, Haechan wondered if he should maybe apologise for the words he had spoken in anger, whether it would help to smooth over some of the awkwardness that would likely linger for a few days until Johnny forgave him, but decided not to bother. If Johnny wanted to talk, he could initiate the conversation and then Haechan would consider apologising. It would be a good test of whether the older man actually cared, or if this was all just about him ruining the dance practice for everyone else today.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>No. He’d leave it. Let the other man make the first move.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hyuck?” Almost to his bedroom door, Haechan froze. Not now. Not him. Anyone but him!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Turning around slowly, Haechan met Mark’s eyes. He was wearing his glasses, squinting in an adorable way that made the younger boy’s heart squeeze in a way that almost lessened the turmoil inside. A small, sleepy smile spread across Mark’s lips as he blinked rapidly, working hard to focus on Haechan’s face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mark.” His name muttered softly was all Haechan could manage at the moment, but Mark didn’t seem to mind. His smile grew, even as his eyelids drooped lower and he swayed on his feet. Mark must be heading for the bathroom, he realised quickly, and the other boy was probably still half asleep. It was, after all, still the middle of the night.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You okay?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Was he okay? That was a really good question. One that he really shouldn’t get into with this particular sleepy boy, especially not tonight. Especially not when he was this raw, this vulnerable.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m fine, Mark.” If Haechan’s voice came out a little harsh, even to his own ears, he didn't mean it. Not with Mark. Never with Mark.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s Mark hyung,” the older boy muttered with a chuckle, shuffling over to push open the door to the bathroom Haechan had just vacated. “Okay. Goodnight, Hyuck.” With that, he was gone and the door was slammed in his face. Well not really slammed, but that’s how it felt in the pit of his stomach. With a gentle click of the lock, Mark had dismissed him and Haechan was alone in the hallway again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Nobody cares about me. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Haechan didn't want to think that way about Mark. Mark was the one person in his life who didn't ever seem to treat him like a burden. The one who made him feel better when the rest of the world felt like it truly didn't care, yet here they were. Even Mark didn't care enough to see through the tired circles under his eyes to the real issue<span>—</span>whatever that real issue was. Haechan hadn’t quite figured that part out yet.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>With a sigh, Haechan pushed open his bedroom door and slipped inside. Johnny was now on his front, face buried deep in his pillow. Haechan closed the door quietly, so as not to disturb him. Tonight was not the time to discuss all the things swirling inside him, threatening to burst out and overflow. No. Tomorrow would be a new day, and he would deal with all of this then.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Curling up in his sheets, Haechan pulled the pillow down into his chest, wrapping his arms around it<span>—</span>and around himself. He let out a long, shaky breath and pressed his face into the soft material, curling in around himself like he could fold himself inside the pillow’s warmth. He squeezed his eyes tightly closed, pulling his lower lip between his teeth and biting down firmly enough that it would leave an indent.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> It’s not just one mistake, Haechan-ah. You’re not a kid anymore. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Johnny’s words swept him to sleep, even as a single, salty tear rolled down his face and soaked into the sheet beneath his head.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Nobody cares. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>--</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hyuck-ah!” He woke up with a start, as if he’d been shocked by stray electricity from a faulty outlet. Arcing up off his pillow, his vision swam as he moved too quickly. Pressing his eyelids closed tightly, he fisted his fingers into his sheets, which were cool and coarse to the touch. So unlike the ones on his bed in the dorm.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>With a frown, Haechan blinked a few times, a blur of faded colours and shapes swimming in his vision. When, after a few moments, they didn't manifest into anything solid, he sighed and rolled to the side, reaching for the shared nightstand between his bed and Johnny’s.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Where there should have been wood and a pair of slim wire-framed glasses, Haechan’s hand met only cold air and then he was falling. The edge of the bed fell away, closer to him than should have been possible, and then he was slamming into the wooden floor with a yelp of surprise and pain. His fingers scrabbled to make purchase against the smooth, polished surface, and he froze.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The bedroom he shared in their dorm had a carpeted floor. In fact, none of the rooms in their apartment had hard floors, save for the bathroom and kitchen, and he was pretty sure from the muted brown filling his gaze and the rough grain against his palms that he hadn’t fallen asleep in the tiled bathroom again<span>—</span>that had only happened once.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Donghyuck!” That voice again, calling from somewhere below him. It was high, feminine and entirely unfamiliar, yet that was his name. Once he rarely used anymore, save for when his members forgot themselves, but still. To hear it from a stranger, in a room he was pretty sure he didn’t recognise, was a recipe for a really bad morning. “If you don’t get up now, you’re going to be late for school.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Excuse me. He was going to be late for what now…?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you enjoyed. Critique and suggestions are always welcome in the comments.</p><p>Have a wonderful day! :)</p><p>EDIT (August 2020): People have asked about this quite a bit so, if you’re that way inclined, feel free to come say hi on <a href="https://twitter.com/galaxy_neozone">Twitter</a>. I’d love to interact with you over there too!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi. Thanks for reading. I appreciate all the comments and kudos from the first chapter, so thank you.</p><p>Here's chapter two. Hope you enjoy it!</p><p>P.S. I write in British English. Ignore any quirks of language you may disagree with.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Five minutes later, Haechan was still sat on the floor, staring at the blurry whorls and grooves that had to have been carved into the wood panels over time. He knew he couldn’t sit here forever, because there was the small matter of waking up in a strange room and being shouted at by a woman he didn't know to deal with, but he just couldn't bring himself to move just yet.</p><p> </p><p>The feelings and emotions from the previous night were still fresh in his mind, in his soul, even if his roommate didn't appear to have made the leap into this unknown place with him. Haechan knew that, even without being able to see beyond the end of his fingertips. He didn't know how he knew, but the cool air around him seemed to scream loneliness. No. Wherever he was right now, and whatever was going on, Johnny was not here. He was alone.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Nobody cares. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>His final thoughts from last night slipped unbidden into his mind, and he almost laughed out loud. He still carried the feelings of abandonment he’d unearthed, and his insides felt like they’d been rubbed raw, but he knew that he’d be able to fix things with Johnny and the others eventually. He’d talk to Mark, tell him everything<span>—</span>like he always did<span>—</span>and they would figure out a solution together. It would all be fine. </p><p> </p><p>Mark Lee would know what to do.</p><p> </p><p>“Lee Donghyuck.” This time he didn’t jump at the interruption. The voice sounded closer now, but he didn't make any move to get up off the floor. “Don’t tell me you’re still in<span>—</span>” The door crashed open behind him, or he assumed that was what the sound was, and then he felt a shift in the air that meant he was no longer alone. “What are you doing?”</p><p> </p><p>The voice sounded irritated, at Haechan he would guess, but he couldn’t figure out why. Was this a new dorm aunt, whom he’d not met yet? None of them ever called him Donghyuck anymore, but he guessed it was possible… but it still didn't explain where he was. Or why she thought he was somehow late for school, a place he hadn't been in a very long time.</p><p> </p><p>“I fell out of bed,” he answered honestly, when it became clear that the woman wasn’t going away. “And I can’t find my glasses.”</p><p> </p><p>Another frustrated sigh broke the silence, one that stirred up an involuntary twinge of guilt in his gut, but then a pair of glasses were being slid into his hand and warm fingers were ruffling his dark hair softly. A soft, fluffy strand of black hair flopped down into his eyes and he pushed it away instinctively, before realising that it was entirely the wrong texture to be his.</p><p> </p><p>“What is going on?” he muttered, shoving the glasses up his nose and blinking quickly as the world suddenly became a whole lot clearer. “Where am I?”</p><p> </p><p>“Darling, are you okay?” The voice sounded concerned now, and Haechan looked up to meet the keen gaze of a kind-looking woman, who looked to be about the same age as his mother. She had strength and warmth in her eyes, and he got the impression that he was meant to feel something fierce for her but, instead, there was only confusion and the start of a stress headache.</p><p> </p><p>“Who are you?” As he spoke the words, he knew they were a mistake, even as the woman’s face fell and disappointment replaced the affection and worry.</p><p> </p><p>“You promised me you wouldn’t drink any alcohol last night,” she said quickly, pulling away and straightening stiffly. Crossing her arms over her chest, she frowned down at the boy still folded on the floor. Haechan hadn’t realised how comforting her hand in his hair had been until it was suddenly gone, and he shivered as he pulled his arms around his torso. “You drove home! What were you thinking? Your dad will be so disappointed when he finds out.”</p><p> </p><p>“My dad?” Haechan was aware that he was asking a lot of questions, and getting almost no answers, so he tried to focus his thoughts and concentrate. Whatever was going on here, he could figure it out. “You’re...my mom?” It came out as another question, but he knew it to be true as he said it, even if he was pretty sure he’d never seen this woman before in his life.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, Donghyuck. What am I going to do with you? It’s the first day of 11th grade and you’re hungover. I always knew your brother was determined to make your father and me age before our time, but you’ve always been such a good boy.” Her eyes traced his face quickly, emotions flickering by too fast for him to decipher them, and then she was pulling him to his feet. “Well, hungover or not, you’re going to school. You have ten minutes to get downstairs, or I’m leaving without you.”</p><p> </p><p>With that, she left. For a heartbeat, Haechan considered curling back up under the covers and waiting until he woke up in his own bed next to Johnny<span>—</span>who would, inevitably, be snoring or muttering in his sleep about new video ideas<span>—</span>but instead he took a quick look around the room and then headed towards the door.</p><p> </p><p>It looked a lot like how he remembered his childhood room looking before he’d moved into the trainee dorms at SM, but the colours and positions were all just a little bit <em> off </em>. The lamp on the bedside table<span>—</span>which was apparently on the other side of the tiny single bed<span>—</span>was blue, where he could have sworn the one in his bedroom at his family home was green. The window was set into the wrong wall, and the paint on the walls was a shade darker than he thought it should have been.</p><p> </p><p>All in all, it was as if someone had tried to reconstruct his childhood bedroom from a fuzzy memory, or a single photograph, but everything had come out just a little bit wrong. That continued into the hallway, where he could have sworn the carpet was meant to be peach instead of cream, and into the bathroom. Although it wasn't until he was stood in front of the sink, in a situation eerily similar to the previous night, that he realised that it wasn’t just the house and the parent that had been put together wrong.</p><p> </p><p>His hair was black, darker than he’d seen on himself in years. It reminded him of the last time he’d looked into a mirror, as a trainee, before the stylist-noona had dyed it for the first time. And it was fresh and clean too, soft to the touch and flopping into his eyes. He needed a hair cut, he thought to himself, even if this version of himself wasn’t real.</p><p> </p><p>He wasn’t real, he’d decided, on the short trip from the hallway to the sink. The only logical explanation was that he was dreaming, although he’d never had a dream quite this lucid and vivid before, and he’d wake up when his alarm went off in the dorm. At most he had two or three hours, he reasoned, since they had an afternoon dance practice every day in the run-up to the new album release. He’d wake up then, and this would fade into nothing.</p><p> </p><p>“Might as well enjoy it,” he muttered, as he found a toothbrush he hoped was dream-his and started to clean up. He wasn’t keen to face the uncomfortable truths that would need to be dealt with when he woke up so, for now at least, he’d seen what else his mind could conjure up. Maybe, since he was lucid dreaming, he’d be able to fly, or breathe underwater<span>—</span>or finally pluck up the courage to kiss dream-Mark, without irreparably ruining their friendship in real life. Wouldn’t that be something? After all, anything was possible in a dream.</p><p> </p><p>“Two-minute warning!” Realising he’d been staring into space, Haechan quickly turned off the tap and dried his hands. Hurrying back to dream-his room, he stumbled as he entered and stubbed his toe on the bed frame, which protruded out into the middle of the room. He winced, hopping from one foot to the other, but quickly found some clothes he assumed were his on the floor by the window and pulled them on. They looked clean and were neatly folded, despite having been discarded on the floor, and the uniform trousers and collared shirt were in neutral shades of white and grey.</p><p> </p><p>Haechan considered finding something truly outrageous to wear, considering this was a dream and there were basically no rules, but the sting of his toe and the steadily increasing headache gave him pause. For a dream, it sure hurt more than he’d have expected. He considered for a second that there might be something else going on, something far more worrying, but he shoved those thoughts aside. Boring clothes for a boring dream, that was all.</p><p> </p><p>A grey hoodie that felt three sizes too big. A grey blazer with an embroidered pocket that looked to be part of the uniform. The first matching pair of black shoes he saw in the closet, and he was done. He ran out into the hall and stomped down the stairs, scooping up a backpack that was swinging from the bannister at the bottom. If nothing else, dream-him was efficient, he mused. He must be more ready for school than the real Donghyuck had ever been. In real life, Mark and Jaemin had dragged him out of bed every day, even on the days he had training and was technically not required to attend. He’d complained the whole time, but they’d made him go with them anyway. He smiled at the memory.</p><p> </p><p>“Mom?” The word sounded tentative, even to him, but the response was instantaneous.</p><p> </p><p>“In the kitchen.”</p><p> </p><p>After a false start that led him into the living room<span>—</span>he blamed on the whole lower floor of the house for being a mirror image of what he remembered<span>—</span>he found the woman in a small, semi-familiar kitchen unit, searching through a small fridge beneath the wide countertop. He knew that there ought to be a deep wobbly groove in the mica surface somewhere near the fridge, from when he was six and he tried to cut vegetables without his real-mom’s help for the first time, but he couldn’t spot it. That made sense, considering all the other details that his brain seemed to have messed up his dream, but it made him a little sad with its absence anyway.</p><p> </p><p>“Ready to go?” Dream-mom closed the fridge, tucked something into a bag on the counter and handed it to Haechan without looking back. He stared down at it for a moment, before he recognised the brown paper bags his mother had used to pack his lunches in before he left home for the dorms. Taking it from her, he tucked it into the bag dangling from his elbow. It was typical that he’d remembered that detail perfectly but had neglected to include his real mom in the dream, he thought with a small grin. His stomach would be very proud. As would Johnny, when he…</p><p> </p><p>“I’m ready,” he replied, ignoring the hint of a tear that threatened to prick at the inner corner of his eye. He’d worry about Johnny later, when he woke up. For now, it seemed, he was going back to high school. “The first day of,” he tried to remember what she’d said upstairs, “11th grade?” That made him 18, he’d guess, or thereabouts. He’d lost a couple of years<span>—</span>and a few centimetres if dream-him was anything like real him<span>—</span>but he could cope with that. Eventually, his alarm would go off and he’d be dancing for ten straight hours on almost no-sleep. Urgh!</p><p> </p><p>High school for a few hours would be a breeze in comparison.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Fifteen minutes later, after driving through a maze of streets that Haechan thought he should recognise but didn’t, they pulled up in the parking lot of a very nondescript-looking high school. It was brown brick, with a few pitiful trees scattered across the dying lawn outside, and it looked like every school he’d ever seen in the movies. Nothing like the schools he’d attended in Jeju or Seoul, but the building wasn’t what caught his eye.</p><p> </p><p>A large rectangular sign was fixed to the front of the building, above the smaller sign that declared itself the main reception, in the same shades of grey and white as the uniform he currently wore. The lettering was black and elaborate, the font simultaneously familiar yet not, but the aesthetic wasn’t what held his attention either.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ‘Welcome to Neo City High School’ </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“You have got to be kidding me.”</p><p> </p><p>The fantasy high school his brain had created was not kidding, apparently, and neither was the ludicrously named Neo City in which the school and his home resided. His dream-mom reminded him, with a bemused look on her face when he asked, that it wasn’t really a city at all. It was a town, but the name had been popular with the locals and it had stuck. No one knew why.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ve told you this before, Donghyuck-ah,” dream-mom had told him, before shooing him out of the car. She’d left the keys with him, since it was apparently his car, and had headed off towards the bus stop on the opposite side of the street. She’d get a ride home from a work colleague, she’d told him with a pat on the cheek, but she hadn’t wanted to leave him to drive hungover. Oddly, he missed her once she was gone, but then the parking lot started to fill with cars and starched uniforms and he was swept into the building with the mass of students arriving for the first day of school.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>It took a lot longer to find his homeroom classroom that it probably should have.</p><p> </p><p>On the one hand, he’d never set foot in the building before this morning, he was in the middle of the most immersive dream of his life and he wasn’t really a student here.</p><p> </p><p>On the other hand, he had the same homeroom teacher as last year and, as the overly helpful girl on the reception support desk informed him, her best friend had sat next to him in said room every single day last year. After rebuffing the girl’s enthusiastic offers to walk him to the door and to help make him ‘comfortable’<span>—</span>his brows had almost disappeared into his hairline at the thinly-veiled innuendo lacing that last word<span>—</span>he took the new copy of his timetable from her and made his way to the second floor. After that, the room wasn’t hard to find and he slipped inside, trying not to disturb the teacher who was in full flow at the front.</p><p> </p><p>“Mr Lee,” he froze in the doorway, “nice of you to finally join us. It should not surprise me that you are late on the first day of the school year, and yet somehow you continue to amaze and astound.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry.” Oddly, the tall, thin man at the front of the classroom actually seemed to be taken aback by the quiet apology, but he recovered quickly and nodded curtly.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, you know where your seat is.” The teacher gestured to an empty desk in the corner at the back next to Haechan. He moved towards it, meeting the gaze of several students as almost every eye in the room watched his every move. He felt like he was on display, like an animal in a cage. Only one person wasn't looking, a shorter boy near the middle of the crowd, whose gaze remained fixed on the board at the front as though the disturbance behind him wasn’t worth a second of his time.</p><p> </p><p>Abandoning the desk the teacher had pointed to, Haechan made a beeline for the only other empty chair in the room, which was to the immediate left of the slim figure pointedly not looking his way. Dumping his bag and hoodie at his feet, Haechan sat down with a loud thud and turned to catch the boy’s eye. Smiling as their eyes met, ignoring the many eyes on him from the rest of the class, he felt a comforting flutter in his belly as he laid eyes on the first familiar face he’d seen in his dream so far.</p><p> </p><p>“Renjun-ah.”</p><p> </p><p>The boy in question turned his head slowly, shifting just barely enough to meet Haechan’s eye. The younger boy thought he saw a flicker of something like pain cross Renjun’s face before he spoke, and Haechan’s heart sank.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry. Who are you?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading. The small cliffhanger wasn't my intention, but characters never quite seem to play ball. I'll try not to leave you hanging too long. I'm doing my best to write every day, but encouragement never hurts. If you have feedback or suggestions, I welcome all critique in the comments and in my inbox.</p><p>Have a wonderful day. :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>In this one, Haechan starts to figure out that something weird is going on. Predictably, it's going to be a bit of a mess at first, but I have faith in our boy.</p><p>I hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I’m sorry. Who are you?”</p><p> </p><p>For a moment, neither of them spoke. Renjun’s gaze was singularly fixed on Haechan’s face, despite his body language appearing to dismiss him completely, torso angled towards the front of the room. Only the slight trembling in his fingers, clenched into fists on the desk next to Haechan’s, let the younger boy know that Renjun was not nearly as passive and unaffected as he seemed.</p><p> </p><p>“I<span>—</span>I’m…” Who was he? Haechan supposed, at least while he was dreaming, that he should go with the status quo, and play along. “I’m Donghyuck. We’ve known each other for years. We’ve shared a roo<span>—</span>”</p><p> </p><p>“I know <em> who </em> you are!” With a huff, Renjun twisted in his seat to face him properly for the first time. The look on his face was one Haechan hadn’t seen in a long time, and he paled. This was one seriously angry Renjun, and all of that anger was directed at him at the moment. He’d never wished for Jaemin or Jeno to appear more, to ease the tension that oozed from his friend.</p><p> </p><p>“Wait, but you said…?” Another sigh, and now the other boy just looked exhausted, and more than a little sad.</p><p> </p><p>“I know what I said. I know who you are, Donghyuck,” he explained, fingers twisting together against the laminated surface of the desk at his waist. “I’m not stupid. Everyone in this school knows who you are.”</p><p> </p><p>As if to punctuate his point, his heavy gaze swept the students around them, all of whom were suddenly very interested in the desks in front of them, or in the ceiling or the nearest blank stretch of wall. The room around them was deathly silent<span>—</span>even the teacher was watching their exchange with thinly-veiled curiosity<span>—</span>which Haechan found odd. What could possibly be so interesting about two students having a conversation, even if one of them seemed less than keen to be having it?</p><p> </p><p>“What I mean to say is,” Renjun continued, eyes flicking between Haechan and the rapt audience around them, each pretending to be anything but, “who are you and what have you done with the real Donghyuck?” That hit a little too close to home for comfort, so Haechan stayed silent, trying to ignore the prickly feeling in the nape of his neck, from the several dozen pairs of eyes on them from all directions. “Why are you talking to me? Why are you sat there? That’s not your seat.”</p><p> </p><p>“I<span>—</span>I just wanted to say hi,” Haechan said hesitantly, after a pregnant pause that seemed to stretch on for centuries. “I’m sorry.” Again, the other boy’s face twitched, with something akin to guilt and pain surfacing for just a moment, before his eyes closed and he turned to the front again, effectively disengaging from the conversation.</p><p> </p><p>Without saying another word, a very bewildered Haechan collected his belongings from the floor and vacated the seat by his friend, shuddering as he took in the rigid line of Renjun’s back, the boy stoically ignoring him. He turned to head for the back of the room and almost bumped into another figure, looming over them both. It was a testament to the other boy’s natural grace and poise that Haechan hadn’t even heard him enter the room, or sensed him move to stand behind them.</p><p> </p><p>“Trying to steal my spot, Hyuck?” His smile was radiant, as it had been since the first day they had laid eyes on one another in the third-floor practice room, but there was a layer of artifice in the curve of his lips that was only noticeable because they knew each other so well.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, Jaemin-ah.” Taking his cue from the relaxed way Jaemin used a nickname, Haechan hoped that he wasn’t about to get chewed out again. He wasn't sure he could handle it from two people this morning. His headache hadn't eased any and he was still running on fumes from his late-night, even if he shouldn’t be able to feel either of those things in the dream. If anything, this was starting to feel more like a nightmare than a relaxing jaunt between sleep and awake.</p><p> </p><p>“Rough morning?” the other boy asked, trading places with Haechan and sitting down beside Renjun. The older boy didn't look over at Jaemin either, Haechan noted, but he did visibly relax now that Haechan was no longer occupying the seat. It made something ugly twist in his gut, but he didn’t know why. Guilt? Jealousy?</p><p> </p><p>“You have no idea,” Haechan muttered. He started to speak again, a room full of dream-onlookers be damned, but the teacher chose that moment to realise that he had a class to teach. Clearing his throat, the man straightened his tie and stared pointedly at Haechan, who took the hint and scurried to the back of the room and sank into his assigned seat with a groan. Slumping down onto the desk, he tucked his head into his arms, curling them around his face, and prayed for his alarm to go off and for him to wake up from this mess.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Haechan drifts through several different classes throughout the morning, like a dream within a dream. Nothing quite feels real except for the conversation he keeps replaying in his head, and the image of Renjun turning his back on him that haunts him every time he closes his eyes. He’s aware of a group of people walking with him between classrooms, making comfortable conversation like he’s not even there, but he can’t remember any specific details.</p><p> </p><p>Nobody attempts to engage him in conversation, which he’s grateful for, but it’s an odd dynamic. He always seems to exist at the centre of the large group, people coming and going but the current swirling to hone in on wherever he stands. He shifts a few feet to his left in the ground floor hallway at one point, just to see what will happen, and a few moments later the dynamic shifts to regroup around him. It’s a weird feeling and one that he’s not sure how to interpret, since he doesn’t recognise a single face in the crowd, but there’s a certain comfort that comes from the low hum of noise on all sides. Evidently, in this dream world, not everyone hates him.</p><p> </p><p>Just Renjun…</p><p> </p><p>He sees the older boy in one of his other classes but doesn’t try to speak to him. Jaemin is in one too, and he smiles at Haechan when their eyes meet, but he doesn’t seem to be a part of the entourage that Haechan seems to have at all times. He wonders what that means. Jaemin had seemed friendly enough first thing, but did that mean they weren’t friends in this fiction he had created. He wondered if it was his brain’s way of punishing him for what he’d said to Johnny the previous night<span>—</span>or the same night, since he was technically still asleep.</p><p> </p><p>He didn't think his mind would be cruel enough to make his friends hate him in his dreams. He just needed to talk to them, to figure out who else was here, and to wait it out until he woke up. Lunch would be the perfect opportunity, he thought, as the loud bell chimed for the end of<span>—</span>he checked the title of the unopened book in his hands<span>—</span>modern history.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you going to rehearsal today?”</p><p> </p><p>Haechan jumped, startled by the sudden appearance of a figure beside his desk. Glancing up, he made eye contact with a slim girl with wide eyes and long, inky black hair. She was watching him expectantly, so he cleared his throat and pushed up out of his chair. She started moving toward the door, clearly expecting him to follow and leaving him little choice but to hurry out into the hallway behind her. Around him, he felt several others do the same, although they didn't crowd him as much this time. Just a constant, watchful presence at his back.</p><p> </p><p>“What?” he asked when they were clear of the classroom.</p><p> </p><p>“Rehearsal. At lunch. Are you going?” He had no idea what rehearsal she meant, so he shook his head.</p><p> </p><p>“Not today. I need to talk to someone.” He scanned the busy hallway, ducking to see around the heads of a few of his entourage, and spotted Jaemin walking a few paces behind the group. Slowing down, the crowd flowed around him, unable to keep him in the centre with the sudden change of pace, and he manoeuvred himself until he was next to his friend. “Where are you eating lunch?”</p><p> </p><p>“Me?” Jaemin sounded taken aback for a moment but recovered well. His eyes flicked quickly over to the group of nameless students who had been surrounding Haechan, and then back to the boy at his side. “Uh, I usually eat in the main cafeteria.”</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s eat together then.” Haechan grinned, looping an arm around Jaemin’s elbow and nudging him forward with his hip. The younger boy stiffened for a moment, but let Haechan lead him in what he hoped was the direction of the cafeteria. The girl who’d asked him about the mystery rehearsal let out a disgruntled sound, unhappy to have been interrupted, but she let him go. The group of students followed behind them, murmuring too quietly for him to hear, but he ignored them. He didn’t know any of them.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Entering the cafeteria a few minutes later, a wave of noise washed over them as people moved and ate and talked freely during their break. Jaemin didn't head for the serving stations, instead seeming to search for someone or something among the mass of crowded tables and people. Haechan spotted Renjun, sitting on the end of a table near the wall. He was chatting with a few other boys Haechan didn't recognise, who were seated at the opposite end of the table.</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s go over there,” Haechan said quickly, tugging on Jaemin’s arm. The other boy followed his gaze and groaned, pulling back as if to try and stop them in their tracks.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t think that’s a good idea<span>—</span>” Haechan ignored him, using all of his strength to compel the other boy forward. There were several seats open next to Renjun, and he figured this would be the perfect opportunity to figure out what was wrong with him. Surely, if he concentrated hard enough, he could fix this. It was <em>his </em> dream after all.</p><p> </p><p>“Can we sit here?” His voice was deliberately light and warm, a trick he’d learnt in his trainee days for getting through interviews without anyone knowing how nervous he was. It was the same basic principle now, although he could feel a tiny squirm of fear deep in his gut. Renjun would have to say yes, right?</p><p> </p><p>The older boy didn't jump. He didn’t sigh, roll his eyes or exhibit any number of other reactions that Haechan might have expected from the Renjun he knew. He barely reacted at all, glancing up with a tired look in his eyes. Haechan’s smile faltered, but he didn't look away. It would be fine, if he willed it to be okay. And will it, he did.</p><p> </p><p>“Please just leave me alone.”</p><p> </p><p>Haechan didn't notice Jaemin leading him away quickly, his shaking fingers clutched tightly in Jaemin’s own. He didn't register the table they arrived at, or Jaemin pushing him down into a seat, pulling his backpack off for him when he made no move to remove it himself. He didn't even flinch when Jaemin dropped down heavily opposite him, causing the tabletop to bounce and jostle his elbow, where he leant into it.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyuck?”</p><p> </p><p>He needed to wake up. This wasn’t fun anymore. This wasn’t what he wanted. This wasn’t right.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyuck?” A gentle hand shook his shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>This was a nightmare. His mind was punishing him for the harsh words he’d spoken, for the turmoil in his heart when he’d gone to sleep. For his lack of effort and engagement over the past few weeks. It wasn’t <em> all </em> his fault. He wasn’t entirely unjustified in his anger, in his feelings towards his members and towards himself, but this was too much. He wasn’t sadistic by nature, and this was just unfair.</p><p> </p><p>“Donghyuck-ah?” He blinked and looked down as a dull pain shot up through his arm. Dreams weren’t supposed to hurt. Again, a jolt of pain coursed through his fingers. A thumb was being pressed hard against one of the pressure points in his hand, the pinch just enough to bring his attention back to the boy watching him intently. “Oh, thank God! I was worried about you for a minute.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry, “ he mumbled, pulling his hand free from Jamin’s grip and into his lap. Focusing on the boy opposite him, he offered up a weak smile. “I’m fine.”</p><p> </p><p>“You looked like you were having an out of body experience.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m fine.” He put a little more effort into his smile, watching as Jaemin relaxed into his chair under the force of it. It was a skill he had perfected when he was very young, when he still went by the name everyone seemed to know him by in this dream, to smile until he was okay. Until those around him thought he was okay, even when he wasn’t. Until the two things bled together so inexorably that he wasn’t sure which one was real anymore.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay.” Jaemin pulled a box out of his bag and slid it onto the table. “Then do you want to tell me what’s going on?” He popped the lid, and started to arrange his food around him. Haechan remembered his own paper bag a beat too late, pulling it out to mimic the routine followed by the younger boy, but Jaemin didn't seem to notice. He was looking down at his food, even as the questions started in earnest.</p><p> </p><p>“Why did you try to sit at that table? And what was that this morning? You and Renjun haven’t said a word to each other since middle school and you suddenly want to say hi.” He barely paused to breathe, and continued without giving any chance for a response. “I mean, you and I don’t really talk either, honestly. Not that I mind eating lunch together, but was a bit of a surprise. You usually don’t go anywhere without the theatre crowd, or the rest of the student council, or the<span>—</span>”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t?” Jaemin’s teeth clicked together loudly as he broke off from whatever he’d been saying next.</p><p> </p><p>“No.” He frowned down at Haechan, twirling one chopstick absently. “You don’t. You and I are friends, I guess. In as much as you’re friends with anyone, with how busy you are, but we don’t really hang out. Not anymore.”</p><p> </p><p>“Not anymore?”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you sure you’re okay?” A keen, probing gaze met his own, and Haechan could practically see the cogs turning in Jaemin’s head, figuring him out. The boy had always been far too smart for his own good. Fortunately, dream-Jaemin couldn’t be quite that smart, since he was stuck rattling around in Haechan’s far less intelligent brain, but he was definitely trying. “Are you high?”</p><p> </p><p>A sharp, genuine bark of laughter ripped itself from Haechan’s chest and, for a moment, all the confusion and discomfort fled, replaced by genuine amusement. He shook his head, grinning as a soft smile spread across Jaemin’s face in response. He sobered somewhat as he realised that half the cafeteria had gone quiet, and he could suddenly feel a lot of eyes on them, but the warmth didn’t quite flee altogether.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s a no then,” Jaemin mused, and then snapped his fingers in Haechan’s face. “Day drinking?”</p><p> </p><p>“My mom said that too,” Haechan mused, swiping a hand through his hair. “Why was that the obvious choice? Am I that much of a basket case?” Jaemin shrugged, but his eyes flicked over Haechan’s shoulder to the far side of the room. Haechan twisted in his seat to follow his gaze and saw the girl from earlier watching him from a crowded table. He thought he recognised some of them from the inner edge of his personal event horizon, but he wasn’t sure. They were all just random people, as far as he was concerned.</p><p> </p><p>“Who are they?” He suspected he knew the answer, but he had to ask. So far, this was his best opportunity to figure out what was going on, and why people were following him everywhere.</p><p> </p><p>“Who<span>—</span>” Jaemin paused, appearing to think better of continuing with his original train of thought. “Those are your friends, Hyuck. Or those are the friends you have time for. Drama kids mostly, and you’re their mighty leader.” His tone was teasing and light, but Haechan could hear the hint of bitterness they held. He glanced over his shoulder at the group again, scanning their faces for anyone he recognised, but came up empty. He couldn’t fathom why he would have chosen those people over Jaemin and Injun, even in fantasy. It didn’t make sense.</p><p> </p><p>“This is all wrong,” he told the other boy, Mind made up, he pulled open his lunch finally. He was hungry, he knew he needed to explain everything to Jaemin, and he wasn't about to break the fourth wall on an empty stomach.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>“Lee Donghyuck, I know you have a flair for the dramatic, but this is elaborate even for you.” Lunch abandoned, Jaemin had his chin on his arms and was watching Haechan with an intensity that few had mastered better than Na Jaemin.</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t believe me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course I don’t believe you. I’d have to an idiot to believe you.” Despite his words, Jaemin’s tone was calm and reasonable. It was a large part of why Haechan had decided to tell him that they were both in a dream and that nothing was what it seemed. If he was honest, he wasn't surprised that Jaemin didn't believe him, but it stung a little. It was insane, and none of this was real, but the rejection felt very real.</p><p> </p><p>“I know,” he admitted. “It seems crazy, but it’s the truth.” He had a sudden thought and sat up quickly, causing Jaemin to do the same.</p><p> </p><p>“What?”</p><p> </p><p>“What if I can prove it?” This was far from a perfect idea, but it was worth a try. Nothing was quite the same as in the waking world, but so far Renjun and Jaemin seemed similar enough. Maybe he could use his knowledge of his friends to find a glitch in the Matrix or something<span>—</span>which sounded far better in his head than when he explained it out loud a minute later.</p><p> </p><p>“Which other friends?” Jaemin asked, ignoring the weirder parts of the suggestion for the time being. “You have a lot of friends.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay.” He could do this. Piece of cake. “Renjun. I know everything about him.” The unimpressed look on Jaemin’s face told Haechan that he’d have to do better than that.</p><p> </p><p>“You’ve known Renjun since he was in diapers. Well, until a few years back, anyway. Not good enough.”</p><p> </p><p>“Lee Jeno!” Jaemin’s brows rose at that one, and he slapped a hand over Haechan’s mouth.</p><p> </p><p>“Not so loud,” he hissed, a faint flush rising in his cheeks. His fingers pressed to Haechan’s lips and cheek, clamping the older boy’s jaw closed. “That boy has almost as fanatic a following as you. We don’t need to go there.”</p><p> </p><p>“We’re not friends?” It was Haechan’s turn to frown, as Jaemin’s eyes went wide. The red in his cheeks darkened.</p><p> </p><p>“No. Unless you’ve magically joined the soccer team since the start of the day. Or the basketball team. Or the<span>—</span>”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, I get the idea,” Haechan said quickly, pushing Jaemin’s hand away from his face. Things were a little different in that respect too then. Jeno was athletic and well-liked by everyone, so it made sense. If he hadn’t become an idol, too busy with dance and music lessons for extra-curriculars, it probably wouldn’t have been a big surprise if Jeno had gone into some sort of sport in high school. “What about Jisung? Chenle?”</p><p> </p><p>“There’s meant to be a Jisung on my dance team this year,” Jaemin offered. “New this year, but a great dancer apparently. That who you mean?” It almost certainly was, but that was also no help to Haechan. He couldn’t exactly astound Jaemin with his insider knowledge about someone he’d never met.</p><p> </p><p>“Chenle? Wait, I guess he’d be just starting 10th grade too, so that’s probably out.” He was running out of options. “What about Mark?” This was his trump card, his ace in the hole. If the pattern followed, Mark would be in 12th grade, a senior. He was talented and popular in real life, and that wouldn’t be different in Haechan’s head. Heaven knew that Haechan thought the boy hung the moon. Dream-Mark was likely to be close to god-like, if his imagination was given this much creative freedom.</p><p> </p><p>“Who?”</p><p> </p><p>“Mark Lee. Maybe he goes by Lee Minhyung here, but he’ll be a senior. Rapper. Basketball, maybe. Cute smile. Can’t miss him.” Haechan grinned up at Jaemin, sure that he’d have to believe him when they were through discussing Mark. There was no one in the world he knew better.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry, but I don’t know anyone with that name.” Jaemin actually looked disappointed, like he wanted to believe Haechan. Or, at the very least, to entertain the fantasy with him.</p><p> </p><p>“Mark Lee,” Haechan repeated, waiting for Jaemin to say syke and to tell him what Mark was like in this dream-world. “You know him. You have to know him. Everyone knows him!”</p><p> </p><p>“Hyuck.” He patted Haechan’s hand. “There is no Mark Lee.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>As in previous chapters, any feedback and critique is much appreciated.</p><p>Thank you for reading. &lt;3</p><p>Have a wonderful day! :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So, I swear this was just meant to be a short filler chapter, before we got to the next plot point. As you'll see, it didn't quite end like that.</p><p>I hope you enjoy.</p><p>P.S. No explicit mentions of anything in here, but there are a few mildly depressing thoughts from our boy. If that's a trigger for you, just a warning that it's there in subtext.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sensing that the shell-shocked boy opposite him didn’t have any intelligible words left to utter, Jaemin wisely turned his attention back to his food. Munching quietly, he watched Donghyuck push half a sandwich around the table listlessly, looking for all the world like someone just removed all the stars from the sky.</p><p> </p><p>He wasn’t sure what to make of the baffling, far-fetched claims that his friend was making, and thinking about the whole concept was sure to give him a headache, so he tried to focus on other things. Like how the corner of Donghyuck’s mouth twitched infinitesimally closer to a frown every few seconds, like the weight of the universe was slowly bearing down on him. Or how the boy’s eyes were glassy and unfocused, and he was pretty sure he could have gotten up and walked away without him even noticing.</p><p> </p><p>Regardless of the truth<span>—</span>and truth was a hell of a stretch<span>—</span>Jaemin was convinced of one thing. Donghyuck believed it, wholeheartedly, and that made it Jaemin’s problem. They might not be particularly close anymore, because Hyuck had more friends than there was sand on the beachfront three towns east of here, but the boy had a magnetic personality. It was impossible not to like Donghyuck, and seeing him this torn up over something hurt. He just didn't know what he could do to fix him.</p><p> </p><p>“Donghyuck, I really need to speak to you.” Jaemin lifted his head and glanced over to see a girl standing at Hyuck’s hip, tapping her foot impatiently. He thought she was the same one Hyuck had been running from earlier, but he couldn't be sure. Regardless, the older boy didn't move, seemingly content to ignore her until she gave up and went away. She coughed, then reached out to shake at Donghyuck’s shoulder when he still didn't respond.</p><p> </p><p>“What?” Donghyuck didn't look up, simply shrugging her hand off his shoulder. He looked exhausted and his voice was strained, lacking its usual weight.</p><p> </p><p>“We need you,” the girl said quickly, frowning down at the hand that was now swinging idly by her waist. Jaemin wondered when the last time was that she’d been dismissed like that. He thought he recognised her as one of Hyuck’s most loyal sycophants<span>—</span>he had advanced language studies to thank for that particularly label<span>—</span>but he’d always seemed content with her presence before.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s wrong with him?” That question was directed at Jaemin, fiery eyes promising retribution if he’d somehow hurt the object of her adoration. Flashing her what he hoped was a reassuring smile, he waved a hand to assuage her suspicions.</p><p> </p><p>“He’s just not feeling well. Don’t worry about it.” Glancing down, he met Hyuck’s gaze and hoped that the other boy would play ball. “Isn’t that right, Hyuck-ah?” A small nod. A tight, tired smile. He returned it with a small smile of his own.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m fine. What do you need?” Donghyuck still didn't turn to face her, but some of the hostility was gone from his tone and his shoulders seemed to relax. The girl still wore a frown, but was clearly determined to finish whatever message she had come over to convey.</p><p> </p><p>“Since you’re not coming to rehearsal today, I need you to confirm your vote for the winter production. Jinyoung told me that we should just go with what you said you wanted over the summer, back when the teachers emailed out the list of options, but the others wanted you to confirm your vote before we go.” She broke off, watching a spot on the back of Donghyuck’s right shoulder expectantly, frown easing now she’d said what she came to say.</p><p> </p><p>“Um…” Donghyuck’s brows furrowed and he seemed to be trying to silently communicate across the table with just his eyes. Unfortunately, Jaemin didn’t speak ‘eyelid twitch’, so he just shrugged. With a sigh, Hyuck finally glanced over at the girl, who positively beamed at the attention. She had it bad, Jaemin thought wryly. If only she could see how little that was reciprocated. Everyone in their grade knew that Lee Donghyuck didn't date anyone, didn't even show any interest in anyone, despite his near-universal popularity. Boys and girls alike had gradually stopped trying<span>—</span>except this girl, apparently.</p><p> </p><p>“Remind me what the vote is for,” Donghyuck said slowly, seeming to choose his words carefully. “I’ve forgotten, sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not surprised<span>—</span>” The girl shifted to stand closer to Jaemin and started up again, mouth moving at a million miles an hour. It was all he could do not to laugh, as he watched Donghyuck try to follow the narrative. He seemed to be paying attention, which was an improvement from the past half hour, but his eyes were rapidly glazing over again as the girl spoke. “<span>—</span>need to choose the winter production. As vice president of the drama society, the seniors need your vote before they make the decision.”</p><p> </p><p>She gestured over at the table of drama kids Hyuck had abandoned to sit with Jaemin<span>—</span>a decision he still didn't quite understand but wasn't mad at. “As always, we will all support your decision. I know you said you were going to veto the musical on principle, because it’s not proper theatre. I assume you still<span>—</span>”</p><p> </p><p>“Why would I say that?” Donghyuck interrupted her, sounding the most animated he had since Jaemin had accidentally broken his spirits by telling him his imaginary friend wasn't real. “Musicals are great!”</p><p> </p><p>“I<span>—</span>” The girl struggled to form words for a moment, but recovered quickly. “You vetoed every musical that Dejun-oppa suggested last year. I know a lot of people liked them, but you insisted.  You call the shots, Mister Vice President.”</p><p> </p><p>“And you just agreed with me? Why?” Hyuck sounded incredulous. Did he really not realise the influence he had over the performing arts students in their year group? Over most of the 11th grade, if Jaemin was completely honest. Surely there was no way that Hyuck didn't see it, the way the whole world seemed to shift to revolve around him whenever he walked into a room. Could he?</p><p> </p><p>“Because,” was all the girl said. Donghyuck frowned but didn't question her.</p><p> </p><p>“What were the options?”</p><p> </p><p>“Les Miserables or The Merchant of Venice. You said you wanted<span>—</span>” Again, she was interrupted.</p><p> </p><p>“Which one would you choose?” At that, the girl seemed to turn into a living statue, eyes wide and bewildered. It was as though she’d never been asked that question before. Then again, when it came to Donghyuck, maybe she hadn't.</p><p> </p><p>“I<span>—</span>I guess I’d prefer Les Miserables, if I was choosing, but you don’t<span>—</span>” Interrupting the poor girl was starting to become an unfortunate habit of the unfathomable boy opposite him today, Jaemin mused. This was not quite on the level of a high-stakes television drama, yet he just couldn't look away.</p><p> </p><p>“Great.” Donghyuck smiled, and Jaemin could have sworn the girl’s face lit up<span>—</span>actually shone<span>—</span>like the sun had just been loosed from behind a particularly dense cloud. “Tell<span>—</span>Dejun, was it?<span>—</span>that I’ll vote for that one. It sounds fun.” He flashed her another smile, entirely unaware of the impact it had on her. She stared at him for another few seconds, and then hurried away back to her table, instructions for the assembled masses ready to be distributed.</p><p> </p><p>“Jaemin-ah?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah?” He turned his focus back on Donghyuck, who had an odd, lost look in his eyes. From one moment to the next, he watched as the bright, sunny disposition faded from the boy in front of him, shoulders slumping and colour draining from his face. In seconds, he went from the effervescent young man Jaemin knew to a shadow of that person. It was devastating to witness.</p><p> </p><p>“Who am I?” Donghyuck took a deep breath, eyelids fluttering closed. “What kind of awful human being would manipulate people like that?” Jaemin opened his mouth to respond, but the older boy wasn’t done. “What kind of narcissistic, ungrateful, arrogant piece of shit would treat his friends like that? No wonder this Renjun hates me. I’d hate me too.” He let out a bitter laugh. “I was right. This really is a nightmare. A nightmare that’s taking way too long. Why can't I just wake up?!”</p><p> </p><p>Jaemin didn't have an answer for that, so he just reached out and took both Donghyuck’s hands in his. He felt trembling fingers tighten around his own, holding on like he was a lifeline. He didn't mind.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>The rest of the day passed quickly, or so it seemed. Haechan couldn't imagine how, considering the funk he was in, but then the final bell was ringing and he was sprinting for the exit. He heard several people try to engage him in conversation as he ran, but he couldn't think of anything except reaching the fresh air outside and then the sweet solace of the car waiting for him in the parking lot.</p><p> </p><p>Ten minutes later, he was pulling out into traffic on the main street, more than a little shocked that he apparently knew how to drive a manual car. He had a driver’s licence in the real world<span>—</span>he and Jeno had gone together to take their tests, as soon as they were old enough<span>—</span>but he’d never learned with a gear shift.</p><p> </p><p>He’d sat and panicked in the car for a few minutes, watching students stream past him in all directions, wondering if he’d be able to figure out which number in his phone belonged to his dream-mom, so she could come and drive them both home. Then he’d remembered what some of his older members had told him about driving, right back when he’d started learning.</p><p> </p><p>After a while, it was all on instinct, Ten had told him. Johnny had laughed and said he could do it with his eyes closed. It hadn’t worked out so well for manager-hyung’s car in the dorm parking lot<span>—</span>Johnny swore the lamppost had come off worse than the SUV in the end<span>—</span>but the principle was still sound. Dream-Haechan had driven this car for months, maybe even years. How hard could it be, really?</p><p> </p><p>Not that hard, it turned out, as he slid the car into his driveway a while later, and cut off the engine. He’d deliberately not over thought it, and he’d found his way home without even realising. Piece of cake.</p><p> </p><p>Letting himself in with the small, silver key that nestled next to his car key on a cute, fuzzy purple keychain, Haechan let out a deep breath that he hadn't realised he was holding. He was home, safe from the nightmare of his own creation that lurked outside these walls. Soon! Soon, he told himself, this would all be over. He’d wake up back in his room, Johnny snoring obnoxiously, and everything would be okay.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re home early,” a voice called from the kitchen. It didn't surprise him this time, the tone and pitch now somewhat familiar. “No practice tonight? I thought you said the committee needed to meet today to plan out this semester.”</p><p> </p><p>“Uh.” He had no idea what committee, what meeting or what plans, but he needed a cover story quickly. “It was cancelled. Someone got sick.” As excuses went, it wasn't terrible, but he still didn't like that he’d lied. Even in a dream, it didn't sit right with him. Especially considering the eye-opening glimpse into his character he’d received at lunch today. He really didn't like dream-Haechan much. In fact, dream-Haechan seemed like a real asshole.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay. What do you want for dinner?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not really hungry.” That much was true. All that remained at this point was bone-deep exhaustion and a headache that had refused to ease all day. “I think I’m just going to go to bed. I’m really tired.” He expected the woman to fight him on that, but she didn't. She just brought him a glass of cold water, kissed him on the cheek and told him to sleep well. She still wasn't his mom and she didn't hold a candle to the real thing, but it was a sweet gesture that made his heart lighten just a little.</p><p> </p><p>It was far too early to sleep, Haechan knew. Still, after drinking his water and washing up, he found an old pair of pyjamas that looked well-loved, although he didn't recognise them, and curled up in the tiny bed in his not-quite childhood room. Squeezing his eyes tightly shut, he focused on trying to sleep. When that didn't work, he thought about trying to wake up. He pictured himself opening his eyes in his dorm room, pictured being cocooned in the warm, comfortable sheets that shrouded that bed. </p><p> </p><p>He pushed his conscious thoughts to the very edges of his mind, the anticipation of the coming morning enveloping them and muting some of the anxiety that he had been experiencing. He willed each muscle in his body to relax one by one, a technique Kun had sworn by so vehemently when they met that Haechan had insisted he learn it. Bit by bit, he felt himself start to drift and he didn't make any attempt to quell the inevitable tidal wave of unconsciousness. Finally.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Awareness returned slowly, as the first rays of sunlight caressed his eyelids, coaxing him back to consciousness. Haechan groaned, feeling well-rested and relaxed but knowing that the day ahead would be anything but restful. Dance practice would last well into the night, and the pale light through the open curtains told him it was still far too early to be awake. Not even the earliest risers in the building would be up yet, he knew from experience<span>—</span>pulling all-nighters playing new game releases until the birds sang to signal dawn breaking<span>—</span>so he was safe for a few more hours.</p><p> </p><p>He burrowed deep under the covers, letting his limbs stretch languidly. He could still see the sun through the gap where sheets met mattress, the texture coarse against his skin as he shifted to get comfortable. Wait. That was weird. He didn't remember the fabric being this uneven, rough and pilled to the touch.</p><p> </p><p>Wrenching the sheets down and away from his face, Haechan sat up and felt to the left for his glasses. His heart sinking as he encountered only air, he rolled over and sought them out on the opposite side, finding them quickly and pulling them on. Taking in the small room around him, single bed far too small and window set into the wrong wall, Haechan felt something akin to fear creep into his being.</p><p> </p><p>He was still in the dream.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>The second day of school was very much like that first, and yet entirely other. He didn't try to speak to Renjun again, although he watched the boy when he thought no one would see. His friend still stoically ignored him, yet he knew from the colour that rose in his cheeks in their homeroom that he was not entirely as oblivious as he tried to appear.</p><p> </p><p>At lunch, Haechan sat alone, because Jaemin had his first dance rehearsal of the school year. He knew people were watching him, talking about him, but he tuned it all out. He wasn't sure how to handle the group of students who still followed him from class to class without fail, except to feel guilty every time he accidentally made eye contact with one of them, but none of them said anything. They seemed to be waiting for him to speak first. He wasn’t sure he wanted to.</p><p> </p><p>Although it seemed to last a lifetime, eventually Tuesday also came to an end. That evening at home, he ate dinner with his mom, letting her lead the small talk until she realised he was barely engaging. Then he headed for his room, curled up in a ball on the bed and waited for sleep to take him.</p><p> </p><p>Wednesday rolled into Thursday, and Thursday rolled into Friday.</p><p> </p><p>Jaemin became a silent fixture in his day, the one point of happiness in what was becoming an empty existence. Haechan was breathing, walking and talking<span>—</span>barely<span>—</span>but it wasn't really living. The upside was that the headache that had plagued him for four days had finally started to ease. The downside was the sinking realisation that he thought he knew why. He had been mistaken before. He understood now.</p><p> </p><p>On Friday, at lunch, he’d admitted as much to Jaemin. The other boy’s eyebrows had knitted together, furrowed with concern, but he hadn’t said anything. He hadn’t needed to. They both knew the truth.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> This wasn't a dream. There was no waking up. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Haechan didn't know how, or why he had a whole other life inside his head. He might never know, but he finally accepted it for what it was. Maybe he was crazy. He certainly felt crazy, when he recalled Mark’s face with perfect clarity and heard his distinctive laugh echoing through his mind, but that didn't excuse the truth. This was real life. He didn't need to like it. He didn't need to like himself. But he did need to accept it.</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck needed to accept reality.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>At nine-thirty on Friday evening, as Donghyuck grappled with a history assignment he’d neglected to even start, his phone chimed softly. Leaning over to pick it up, he could see a message blinking on the lock screen. Three small words in a text bubble. Three small words that halted his movement as he read them again. And then again.</p><p> </p><p>The message had no sender’s name. Instead, the contact number was saved in his phone as a tiny emoji of a Chinese flag followed by a heart. Opening up the thread, Hyuck could see that the previous message to have been received had gone unanswered. That had been over two years ago. He considered scrolling up, to see what their last few conversations had been<span>—</span>to search for clues as to why they had suddenly stopped<span>—</span>but he couldn’t pull his attention from the new arrival.</p><p> </p><p>Three words. Such a small number of letters, but every single one punched a hole deep into his soul. He stared at them so long that the words swam, moisture building up in front of his irises. He expects them to disappear with every blink. They didn't.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I believe you. </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Well, folks. We've reached, for now, the bottom of the world. Now it's time for Hyuck to start crawling his way back out, with a little help from his friends.</p><p>Any predictions? Hopes? Dreams? I'd love to hear them.</p><p>As always, thank you for reading. &lt;3</p><p>Have a wonderful day. :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So, I've been rattling around on this platform for over a decade (on several accounts and across many different fandoms), but I was today years old when I figured out how to actually subscribe to a story. I-I have no words.</p><p>Anyway, I hope you enjoy this one. I'm going to write as much as possible this weekend so that, hopefully, I can update most days next week. I work really long hours Monday to Friday, so getting ahead is the dream! :)</p><p>P.S. We're nearly at 100 kudos. Thank you so, so much. I appreciate every single one of you. &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Saturday morning arrived much like each morning before it had. The sun streamed through the too-thin curtains, waking Donghyuck up a few hours before he felt was humane. He had the same moment of hesitation beneath the covers, wondering if this would be the morning that he would wake up in the dorm, but that quickly passed now. His mind was slowly but surely adapting to the new status quo, even if his heart still fought it every step of the way.</p><p> </p><p>This morning, though, things were different. This morning, he didn't curl up again and allow himself to dwell on the pain, or on what he’d lost. This morning, he rolled out of bed<span>—</span>on the wrong side again because, damn, that would take some time still<span>—</span>and headed for the bathroom with a small bounce in his step. It was barely noticeable, even to him, but it was there. Today, he had something to focus on, something to ground him in this reality. Today he was meeting Renjun for breakfast.</p><p> </p><p>After the message out of the blue the previous night, and after finally pulling his head out of his ass enough to respond, he’d sent a single word back in response.</p><p> </p><p>‘<em> Renjun? </em>’</p><p> </p><p>The reply had been instantaneous, as though the other boy had been watching his phone, waiting for Donghyuck to answer him.</p><p> </p><p>‘<em> You still have my number saved </em>.’ It was only text, but he could sense the question even through the screen.</p><p> </p><p>‘<em> Of course. </em>” He understood, more or less, why Renjun might have been surprised but, from his perspective, it wasn't even a question. This Donghyuck, the boy who had lived down the hall from Renjun for years, would never delete his friend’s number. He could only hope that, deep down, the Donghyuck he had replaced was the same. Deep...deep down.</p><p> </p><p>After a brief back and forth exchanging small talk, Renjun had suggested breakfast in town the next morning, to which he hadn't been able to agree quickly enough. He still wasn't sure what to expect from their meeting, or exactly what Renjun had meant about believing him, but he was willing to accept this olive branch in whatever form it was offered. He had missed the older boy, even in just a week, and he needed to make things right, even if this wasn't really the Renjun he knew.</p><p> </p><p>Twenty minutes later, Donghyuck found himself sitting on the bottom step in the hallway, staring at the clock on the opposite wall. It reminded him of the one that his dad had brought home from an antique market when he was young, except that the hands were shiny brass and the face white. The one in his family home had been black, with tarnished silver hands that were just slightly bent. Again, he got an odd sense of wrongness but brushed it aside. Everything about this world was odd and not quite right, he reminded himself. Focusing on every strange thing was likely to make his headache return.</p><p> </p><p>“Honey, if you stare at it so hard, it’ll stop moving altogether.” His mom appeared in the kitchen doorway, eyes keenly taking in everything in front of her. The smile on her face was kind and warm, but it held a hint of worry that made him instantly guilty. He’d been nothing but civil and polite to her in the past week, but he had yet to treat her as a mother. Donghyuck wasn't quite ready to start opening up to her, the way he always had with his own mom whenever he needed her, but he knew he’d have to start making an effort. The other Donghyuck must have loved her, and seeing her mourning a son she didn't even know she’d lost was too much to bear. It wasn't fair to her, or him.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m going out in a few minutes,” he said quickly, flashing her a small smile. “I’m meeting someone for breakfast.” Her gaze flitted across his face before she met his eye. He held their shared gaze, willing himself to keep smiling, and was pleased to see that she returned it with a smile of her own. It didn't quite ease the tension, but it was a step in the right direction. One of many, he hoped, if this was his life now. He would need her and she would need him, if they were to survive this.</p><p> </p><p>“One of your drama society friends?” she asked, coming over to sit on the step next to him. She made no move to touch him, which he was grateful for, but her proximity was calming. Motherly.</p><p> </p><p>“No. Renjun. He’s not in the<span>—</span>” He broke off as she let out a small gasp of surprise.</p><p> </p><p>“Just when I think you’re all out of surprises, Donghyuck-ah,” she murmured. “That boy is an angel, and he has always been such a good friend to you. I don’t understand why he stopped coming around here.” She looked up at him, watching him carefully, but Donghyuck couldn't meet her eye. He wasn't sure either, if he was honest, but he couldn’t tell her that.</p><p> </p><p>“We’ve recently started talking again,” he said eventually. That was the truth, even if he was being deliberately vague on the definition of recently. She didn't need to know that it had been a matter of hours. “I’m meeting him in town at 9.” They both glanced up at the clock together, following the minute hand as it ticked past the 8, indicating that he had twenty minutes before he needed to be in the cafe Renjun had suggested.</p><p> </p><p>“You’d better go soon then,” she told him, gently patting his arm. She seemed to be aware of his reluctance to initiate further physical contact, or maybe the other Donghyuck just wasn't touchy-feely. He couldn't imagine being like that himself but, for now, he was grateful. He settled for a quick smile and a nod, then he pushed to his feet and started to pull on his shoes and hoodie.</p><p> </p><p>He had to make a quick detour back upstairs to his room to collect his car keys from the pocket of his school uniform jacket, still not used to actually having and needing a car of his own to go anywhere, but then he was out of the door with fifteen minutes left to make it to the cafe. He hoped he made it on time. He didn't want to make a bad impression.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>At 9:12 am, he caught Renjun’s eye across the mostly empty cafe, hurrying over to take a seat opposite the black-haired boy, who wore a relieved look and a massive fluffy sweater. He gave Donghyuck a once over, taking in his pink cheeks, mussed hair and racing heart. He opened his mouth, and Donghyuck expected a well-earned rebuke, but then he just laughed. The sound was rich and full, and the younger boy didn't think he’d ever heard a sound so good in his life, his favourite ad-lib off the latest Dream album included.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m so sorry I’m late,” Donghyuck said quickly, still trying to catch his breath. He’d parked a few streets away and had been wandering for a while, stopping to ask bewildered locals how to find the building he suspected he should know well. He’d gotten some funny looks, and a few people had actually rolled their eyes at him and walked away without a word, but he’d made it eventually. Only twelve minutes late<span>—</span>it could have been worse.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s fine,” Renjun said, smirking.</p><p> </p><p>“No, it’s not.” He took a deep breath, feeling his heart starting to drop back into its normal rhythm. He took another breath. And then another. “It’s really not. I got a bit lost, but that’s not an excuse.”</p><p> </p><p>“You got<span>—</span>” Renjun didn't finish the sentence, instead choosing to stare up at Donghyuck in what looked to be amazement. At what, Donghyuck wasn't sure. His poor sense of geography was more tragic than amazing.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m really sorry. I didn't know where<span>—</span>” Now it was his turn to fail to end a sentence coherently. It wasn't like he could just come right out and tell Renjun the truth, which was that he’d had no idea where this cafe was because he had no idea where anything was in this tiny town. Ironically, for a place called Neo City, he thought wryly, it felt entirely as alien to him as almost everything else in this reality.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, I just realised,” Renjun’s voice was barely a whisper now, “ you’ve never been here before, have you?” His hand shot out and Donghyuck jumped as he seized hold of the fingers of his right hand, which had been resting on the table. “I mean, I know we’ve been here together hundreds of times as kids, but,” he paused, “<em> you’ve </em> never been here.”</p><p> </p><p>This boy knew, Donghyuck realised, as Renjun’s unwavering, ever perceptive gaze refused to let him look away. The subtle inflection in his speech. His very particular choice of words. His hand clamped down on Donghyuck tightly enough to be painful. He knew.</p><p> </p><p>“You really believe me?” His voice hitched as he spoke the words. The world seemed to slow, the other patrons and staff around them fading into oblivion as Renjun nodded solemnly, never losing eye contact. As if he had given them the permission they’d been waiting for, tears welled up in Donghyuck’s eyes and overflowed in a sudden torrent that took his breath away. He heard the scrape of Renjun’s chair on the tiled floor and light footsteps coming closer, then a gentle pair of arms was curling around him. He was pulled into a warm chest, face tucked into Renjun’s thick sweater.</p><p> </p><p>“Let it out, Hyuckie.” The words blew warm air across his ear, and he was all too happy to comply. He burrowed deeper into Renjun’s chest and allowed himself to feel. To hurt. To cry.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>He really did feel a lot better after the tears dried up<span>—</span>he had only been mildly embarrassed when their elderly waitress had brought him a stack of napkins and a free sundae. He hadn't corrected her when she’d assumed it was about a break-up, and he was now sharing the ice cream with Renjun as they talked.</p><p> </p><p>As it turned out, Renjun had gone to Jaemin by Tuesday afternoon. It had taken a few days for Renjun to reason through afterwards, but Jaemin had told Renjun just enough for the boy to conclude that something was going on that couldn't be explained by normal means.</p><p> </p><p>“He said it was a crazy story,” Renjun had told him, “but something just didn't add up. I’ve known you since forever, and you’re not like that. I saw the look in your eyes when I told you to go away. You looked genuinely devastated. You’re a great actor, Hyuck. You always have been, but no one is that good.</p><p> </p><p>“I then considered some kind of psychosis, but that’s illogical. You’ve not shown any signs of it before, and one summer is not enough time to suddenly lose your mind completely.” He’d paused then, looking up at Donghyuck. “Not unless you’ve suffered any blunt force trauma recently that I don’t know about?”</p><p> </p><p>“Nope. I can’t say that I have.” That had been that, for Renjun. If he removed everything that he’d deemed not possible, the only option left was that Donghyuck was telling the truth. They didn't yet agree on the reason, or the how, but they agreed that it was entirely possible to fall asleep in one life and wake up in another.</p><p> </p><p>“Aliens. It’s always aliens.” Donghyuck had laughed at that at first. Then Renjun had reminded him that it was about as likely as dreaming, and he’d shut up. It didn't matter the theory behind it. What mattered was that he had someone in his corner, someone who made him feel like he wasn't totally crazy for the truth he knew deep in his soul.</p><p> </p><p>“The important question now,” Renjun said later, after Donghyuck had finished giving him a detailed rundown on the way the membership system worked in NCT<span>—</span>Renjun hadn’t quite understood, even after they’d been over it twice, “is what the end game is here.”</p><p> </p><p>“End game?” Donghyuck frowned. “Like The Avengers?”</p><p> </p><p>“The what?” Agast, he’d stared at Renjun in horror until his friend had cracked a wicked grin and laughed at him. “Don’t worry. We have that, although I haven’t seen one in years. It’s all a bit much for me.” Now that sounded like the Renjun he knew, Donghyuck thought. Ever the culture hermit.</p><p> </p><p>“Anyway,” Renjun had continued, “I meant the end game for this reality. As much as I’d like to not be a figment of your imagination, or the creation of some omnipotent, intergalactic hive mind<span>—</span>wait, no, that would be awesome.” He grinned again, and Donghyuck couldn't help smiling too. The sense of camaraderie, of belonging after a week of feeling like an imposter in someone else’s life, was exhilarating. “The point is, we need to figure out how to get you back where you belong.”</p><p> </p><p>“That seems like a big, fat question mark right now, Injunie,” Donghyuck muttered. The other boy’s eyebrows rose in surprise, as he realised his slip of the tongue. “I mean Renjun. Sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s fine.” The older boy blushed slightly. “I’ve just never heard that one before. Is that what you call...other me?” He didn't seem particularly upset by the prospect. More curious than anything, if Donghyuck had to guess.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.” Donghyuck grinned. “That or a pain in my ass.” Renjun just rolled his eyes at him. It was so familiar a gesture that Donghyuck felt his heart soar. This was the Renjun he knew. Not exactly the same in experiences, but the core of the boy was there. He was still...him. “I love you, Renjun-ah. In my world, we’re closer than brothers… all of us are. I’m glad you’re here with me right now. I’m just sorry that your me was such a douchebag.”</p><p> </p><p>“That sentence is such a mind fuck, I’m not even going to touch it.” Renjun paused, then leaned across to hug Donghyuck again. “But I love you too, Hyuckie. I’ve missed this side of you, more than you know. I’ll miss you when you’re gone too, but I’ll help you get back home. I promise.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next time, Detective Renjun and Earth-Prime Hyuck start to put together the clues. Will they figure out the solution, or will 2 plus 2 equal 5?</p><p>Correct guesses get eternal bragging rights... ;)</p><p>As ever, have a wonderful day! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The comments I got on the last chapter were amazingly positive, and I'm so grateful for each and every one. I have a lot to live up to, based on your expectations, so I hope I don't let you down...</p><p>Enjoy! &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After Donghyuck had not quite so elegantly ugly snot-cried all over Renjun again, he’d excused himself to freshen up in the customer bathroom. When he returned, his thoughtful friend had ordered coffee and more ice cream. Neither of them mentioned that eating dessert at 10:30 am was a strange choice, and they tucked in with enthusiasm. A comfortable hush reigned at the table for a good few minutes, allowing Renjun to think and Donghyuck to attempt to drown himself in sugar.</p><p> </p><p>“So, I think there are two possibilities here,” Renjun finally announced, as he watched the other boy scrape at the base of the sundae glass with his spoon. A grunt of acknowledgement told him that Donghyuck was listening, so he continued. “First, this was an accident, a random act of fate that chose you out of everyone in the universe.” The other boy frowned, abandoning his spoon with a clatter as he stared up at Renjun.</p><p> </p><p>“I think that’s highly unlikely.” Renjun was almost certain of the truth in his words. Random chance wasn’t logical, and something told him that Hyuck needed him to be the logical one in this situation. He had a level of detachment from this that made his thought processes more objective, and he was doing his best to play the part that his best friend needed him to play. “The statistical probability of everything you’ve told me happening at random is so close to zero that I think we can discard the idea entirely.”</p><p> </p><p>“You sure?” Donghyuck examined his face, looking for signs of a lie.</p><p> </p><p>Renjun fought to keep his expression relaxed and appropriately blank. Inside, his thoughts were churning at a million miles a minute, as all the possibilities and probabilities fought for space. He was convinced that they could figure this out, but a not-so-small part of him didn't really want to, if he was honest. He liked this Hyuck, and he didn't want him to disappear again. Renjun had been alone, lost for so long. He wasn't alone anymore and he wanted things to stay that way, but he knew that wasn't fair on the boy currently watching him like he held the secrets to the universe. This wasn’t Hyuck’s home and, although it would hurt Renjun, he had to do what he could to help him. There was really no other choice, as his friend.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.” Renjun shot Donghyuck a reassuring smile, heart leaping as the younger boy’s face lit up in response. “Absolutely.”</p><p> </p><p>“So what’s the second option?” Donghyuck asked curiously.</p><p> </p><p>“Ah. So that’s a bit more complicated.” Renjun quickly leaned down to retrieve his messenger bag from the floor, pulling out a small notebook and pushing it towards Hyuck across the table. “I have a few ideas, but I need your help.”</p><p> </p><p>Flipping open the ring-bound book to the first empty page, he dug around in the bottom of the large bag until he found a pen, passing that over as well. Tapping the pen against the lined sheet absently, Donghyuck waited for instructions obediently. Renjun hoped that one of his ideas sparked something in Hyuck, or in the mysterious forces of the universe. They were playing with things that he couldn’t even begin to comprehend. This had to work.</p><p> </p><p>“While I run through some ideas, I need you to make a list for me.” Renjun watched as Donghyuck popped the lid and promptly stuck the blunt end of the pen in his mouth. He stifled a snort of mild disgust and then pointed at the top line on the page. “You mentioned your members, right? Since they<span>—</span>I mean, we<span>—</span>seem to be the common factor here, I think that we need to focus on them to figure out the rest.”</p><p> </p><p>“You want me to make a list?” Donghyuck asked, not sounding entirely convinced, but he had already started listing names in large, blocky characters. Renjun couldn’t read well upside down, but he could make out his own name in the third position, below a name that Hyuck had written out carefully in both Korean and English.</p><p> </p><p>“Perfect,” Renjun mused, running a hand through his hair. He kept one eye on the growing list of names, as he pulled another sheet of folded paper from the back pocket of his jeans. Smoothing it out, he ran his index finger over the first bullet point listed on it, before launching into the monologue he’d worked on late into the night.</p><p> </p><p>“I did some research online last night,” he began, ignoring the fact that Donghyuck had just flipped the page and started a second page of names. “There wasn’t anything exactly like this, not that I expected there to be, but there are some movies that are kind of similar.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh?”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, take Groundhog Day, the American movie, for example. The guy in that got stuck in a time loop until he figured out how to fix things and go back to normal. You’re not in a time loop per se, but you <em> are </em> stuck.” Donghyuck glanced up at him, pausing to take a sip of his drink before responding.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ve never seen that one,” he admitted, shrugging. “What does he do to get unstuck?”</p><p> </p><p>“I<span>—</span>I haven’t seen it either,” Renjun admitted sheepishly. A raised eyebrow from the other boy had him hurrying on. “I don’t think the specifics are important though, Hyuck. I think the point is that there are a few movies and books that are similar.” He flipped the slightly crumpled sheet of paper in his hands and held it up so Hyuck could read it. “As I see it, there are three common threads running through all of them, more or less. We just need to figure out which one is relevant to you, and to that list, and then go from there.”</p><p> </p><p>“Simple as that, huh?” Donghyuck didn’t look entirely convinced, but he wasn’t outright shooting Renjun down. That was a start.</p><p> </p><p>“I<span>—</span>” Suddenly this didn't seem like the genius plan that it had appeared at 1 am that morning. “I’m sorry, Hyuck. I’m just trying to help.” His enthusiasm started to dwindle, but then Donghyuck’s face was right next to his and he couldn’t look away.</p><p> </p><p>“No, this is perfect, Injun-ah.” Renjun’s lips curled into a smile at the casual use of the unfamiliar-yet-fitting nickname. Donghyuck smiled angelically up at him then, and he was reminded of why this boy had almost always been the very centre of his universe, even when he turned out to be from somewhere else entirely. “Without you, I’d have nothing. Tell me more!”</p><p> </p><p>Over the next ten minutes, Renjun outlined his crude bullet points for Hyuck, who nodded along and gave him his undivided attention. Renjun’s list included three possible catalysts, each of which Donghyuck agreed could be entirely plausible.</p><p> </p><p>“Righting past wrongs makes total sense,” Donghyuck explained, tapping the first bullet point with the end of the pen that had been in his mouth more times than Renjun cared to think about. “I told you about what I said to Johnny-hyung that night and how I was acting, in the weeks leading up to it. I can see now that was all on me and, if I could go back and do it again, I would. In a heartbeat”</p><p> </p><p>“And this one?” Renjun pointed at point three, complete with a few choice spelling errors that Hyuck had kindly laughed at him for.</p><p> </p><p>“Personal growth is really vague,” Donghyuck mused, studying Renjun’s neat penmanship solemnly, “but I think it could also make a lot of sense. I haven’t been acting as an idol should lately. I was acting like a child, and everyone was noticing. Johnny-hyung was just the one brave enough to call me out on it.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sure you weren’t<span>—</span>” Donghyuck waved away the sympathetic excuse with a flick of his wrist.</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t understand, Renjun-ah. I’ve had a lot of time to think about things this week. For a while, I was so wrapped up in how unfair this all was that I didn't think about why. I can see now that things got that bad because I forgot what I was doing, and why I was doing it. I was letting people down, and I was selfish. That’s unacceptable.”</p><p> </p><p>That was the most words Renjun thought he had heard come out of Donghyuck’s mouth in one go in a very long time, and it was so much like the Donghyuck of his childhood that he couldn’t help but grin. “Well, if that’s not some serious personal growth, Hyuck, I don’t know what is.” Donghyuck tried to glare at him, but that faded to a smirk of his own and the younger boy shrugged. Neither of them could argue with that reasoning.</p><p> </p><p>“The last one,” Renjun’s finger drew a lazy circle in the air above the middle sentence, “is a bit of a shot in the dark. It’s a big one in movies, obviously, but it’s probably not relevant here.”</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck flushed pink, glancing down at the two pieces of paper he had torn out of Renjun’s notebook. Side by side, there were twenty names listed. Renjun had yet to ask to see this list, but he wasn’t an idiot. He knew that look. He just wished he was wrong about which name it was that Donghyuck was zeroing in on.</p><p> </p><p>“You love him, huh?” he asked softly. Donghyuck’s head shot up, eyes wide and panicked. He glanced around for a moment before he seemed to remember where he was and who he was with. His shoulders slumped and he folded his arms on the table, just below the pages of names. His chin came to rest in the valley formed by his forearms and he stared up at Renjun balefully.</p><p> </p><p>“That obvious?”</p><p> </p><p>“Call it brotherly intuition,” Renjun offered conspiratorially. He had noted the way Donghyuck tended to refer to his fellow members<span>—</span>Renjun included<span>—</span>as brothers, rather than as colleagues or friends, whenever he forgot himself. The older boy couldn’t help but like the sense of belonging that it stirred up in him, and he hoped that Donghyuck wouldn’t mind him adopting the word. “That and you mention Mark’s name about twice as much as anyone else’s.”</p><p> </p><p>“I guess.” They both glanced down at Donghyuck’s list. The pair of names one row down from the top seemed to grow under their watchful eye, and Renjun didn’t miss the way Donghyuck sighed as he stared. “Unrequited love,” Donghyuck eyed the middle bullet point again before looking back down at Mark’s name, “is a great theory, except for the fact that Mark doesn’t seem to exist in this universe.”</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t know that for sure,” Renjun began, but Donghyuck shook his head.</p><p> </p><p>“I do.” His finger traced the English letters once before he blinked quickly and pushed the two pages over to Renjun. “I’d know if he was here. I’m sure of it.”</p><p> </p><p>Renjun didn't reply, sensing that nothing he could say would make things easier. Instead, he took the opportunity to pick up the pages, glancing down at the list with a keen eye. Holding his hand out for the pen, he quickly added a few markings to the side of several names. He paused, then crossed something out and added in a correction. Donghyuck watched him curiously as he worked, then placed the list back on the table again.</p><p> </p><p>“One second.” He pulled out his phone, navigating to his social media quickly, followed by his school email account. A few minutes later, he made a few more corrections and markings, then passed the list back to Donghyuck. “Take a look.”</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck did as he was asked, looking over the changes that Renjun had made to his list of member’s names. A few were obvious; he’d drawn a smiley face next to his own name and next to Jaemin’s. He’d ticked several names too: Liu Yang Yang, Lee Jeno, Wong Yukhei, Zhong Chenle. He’d put a question mark next to two names, Hendery and XiaoJun, and no less than twelve exclamation marks next to one last name<span>—</span>one that also came complete with an unexpected correction.</p><p> </p><p>“What are these for?” he asked, pointing at the question marks. “They’re both from outside Korea, so they shouldn’t be too hard to spot. I think Hendery speaks English too,” he offered, trying to remember what Ten had told him about them back before WayV’s debut. He’d been largely too busy<span>—</span>or, more truthfully, too lazy to get to know them better as trainees. He wished now that he’d had more time for them.</p><p> </p><p>“I think I know who you mean by XiaoJun,” Renjun explained. “He’s the president of the drama society, so you’ll actually have quite a lot to do with him this year as VP.” Turning the paper, Hyuck checked the name again. Renjun had added a small arrow up from the centre of the word and squashed in another character, meaning that it now read Xiao De Jun. That name sounded vaguely familiar to Donghyuck, so he nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not certain, but it’s too close to be a coincidence.” Donghyuck frowned. “I can’t believe I never asked his real name before their debut.” Renjun patted him on the hand reassuringly, so he focused on the next question mark. “What about Hendery? I<span>—</span>I don’t know his full name either.” Instantly, he felt even more guilty. He should be ashamed of himself.</p><p> </p><p>“There’s a guy in the international society that sounds like how you described him. I don’t go very often, since I don’t need to brush up on my Korean language skills like some of the others do, but I think his friends call him Hendery.” Renjun nodded at his phone then. “I looked him up, and his screen name on SNS is in Mandarin, but I think it’s the right person. I’ll point him out on Monday, and we can confirm then, okay?”</p><p> </p><p>“Sounds good,” Donghyuck agreed, before turning his attention back to the last name with a marking next to it. “What does that say?” He could read the part of the name that he’d written, but Renjun’s correction was a little smudged. He squinted down at it. Renjun had ridiculously small handwriting.</p><p> </p><p>“Ah.” Renjun’s cheeks flushed slightly, and he rubbed a hand over his face. “That would be Lee Jaehyun.” As Donghyuck’s eyebrows tried to make a break for the moon, Renjun actually giggled. “Better known as my first crush, back when we were eight years old and I used to sleep over at yours every weekend.</p><p> </p><p>“Jaehyunie-hyung?” Donghyuck was confused. He was going to ignore that deeply unsettling confession from Renjun for the moment, but that still didn't expect why Jaehyun would be at his house on the weekends.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah. Your brother.”</p><p> </p><p>For a long moment, Donghyuck said nothing. Staring into the depths of his coffee cup, his brain worked overtime to process that little bombshell. Sure, the two of them were close. They always had been, even if Jaehyun had always preferred Mark’s stoicism and Jeno’s odd humour over Donghyuck’s...well, annoyance. It was a surprise, for sure, but Hyuck found that it didn't feel strange or uncomfortable. In fact, given the way the two of them bickered over most things like actual siblings, it was a natural fit.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, okay,” was what Donghyuck eventually managed to say. Renjun’s cheek twitched but he didn't say anything, letting him process. “So where is he?” Hyuck asked, after a moment of silence.</p><p> </p><p>“College,” Renjun told him, “just out of town. He graduated from our school a few years ago, and he could have gone out of state, but he stayed local for some reason.” Renjun seemed to consider his words carefully, then continued. “You know, I think he comes home every few weeks to see your mom. You should ask her when he’ll be home next.”</p><p> </p><p>Agreeing that that was a good next move as far as Jaehyun was concerned, Donghyuck turned their attention back to the rest of the list. “So what’s our next move, master strategist?” he asked and Renjun laughed. “You must have had a reason for me making the list.”</p><p> </p><p>Sobering quickly, the no-nonsense look was back in Renjun’s eyes and he fixed Donghyuck a piercing look. “As I see it, everything comes back to the people on this list. The reason you’re here might be one of my suggestions, or it might not, but I’d bet you any money on earth that we’re going to need them on board before we get to the bottom of it.”</p><p> </p><p>“All of them?” Donghyuck’s gaze slid slowly over the eleven names on the list that Renjun hadn’t marked<span>—</span>ten, he realised, as he grabbed the pen and put a tick next to Park Jisung. “Jaemin mentioned that there was a new freshman dancer at school called Jisung,” he explained. “You and I both know that has to be him.” Renjun just gave him a blank look. “Well, I guess you don’t, actually, but trust me. It’s him.”</p><p> </p><p>“Perfect,” Renjun said, accepting his judgement. “And yes. All of them. I just have a gut feeling…”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t see how it’s possible, without…” Donghyuck broke off, pressing his lips together firmly. “No. You know what, Injunie. You’re right. One person at a time. We don’t need to worry about the other names yet.” He pointed at the ones with ticks next to them. “So, which ones should we focus on first?” He thought for a moment. “What about Jeno?”</p><p> </p><p>Renjun choked on his drink, turning a delicate shade of purple as thick, brown liquid escaped through his nose.</p><p> </p><p>“Uh, no,” he said, far too quickly, swaddling his face in napkins as he continued to cough up coffee. “Jeno is…” He coughed again. “Let’s start small. This one, Zhong Chenle, just joined the international society. I spoke to him, and he mentioned he’s also planning to join the drama society.” He looked up at Donghyuck, scrunching the damp napkins into fists, eyes begging the younger boy not to fight him on this. “Or this Park Jisung. I know Jaemin will help you if he’s in the dance society. Or…”</p><p> </p><p>“Relax, Renjun-ah.” Donghyuck squeezed Renjun’s hand gently. “I understand.” He didn’t, not really. He could see the truth, written unmistakably across his friend’s face, but that didn't make the truth any easier to fathom. He wondered whether the Renjun from his reality felt the same way, wondered how he’d never seen this before. Sure, Lee Jeno, was one of the kindest, gentlest souls on the planet, but this was Huang Renjun. He didn't<span>—</span>he couldn't… could he?</p><p> </p><p>“How long?” Donghyuck asked. Renjun flushed, holding up three fingers. “Wow. That long, huh?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah. I like to think I hide it pretty well, considering he doesn’t even know I exist,” Renjun admitted. Donghyuck couldn't help but agree. Of course, things might have been different here, but he suspected he was just that inobservant. Still, this was a big thing to miss. “Hey, Hyuck?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p> </p><p>“In your reality, was I…” He took a deep breath as if steadying himself. “Was there ever anything between me and...?” He didn't need to finish the sentence.</p><p> </p><p>“I<span>—</span>” Donghyuck didn't know what to say. He didn't want to hurt Renjun, and it was true that he was realising he didn't know nearly as much about his friend as he’d thought, but he’d have known if they were<span>—</span>wouldn’t he? “I don’t think so, Injunie. I’m sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh. That’s fine.” Renjun swiftly changed the topic after that, and the notebook, pen and sheets of paper disappeared back into Renjun’s bag, but Donghyuck couldn't help but notice that a large part of the wind had been taken out of Renjun’s sails. He readily agreed to Renjun’s reiterated request that they leave Lee Jeno for later, as they started to think of ways of befriending the other members at the school, but Donghyuck wasn't about to let it go that easily. In this reality, at least as far as he was able, he hoped he might be able to give Renjun the chance at a happily ever after that he deserved.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>It was well past lunchtime by the time the two boys finally left the cafe, thanking the waitress profusely for all the coffee they’d consumed and apologising for the mess they’d made. As they stepped out into the street, heading for the side street where Donghyuck thought he remembered parking his car, he felt infinitely lighter than he had when he’d arrived. Arm in arm with one of his best friends, and with a solid plan of action under their belts, he felt hopeful and optimistic. Everything would be okay.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t worry, Hyuck-ah,” Renjun said, pulling him gently across the road by the arm. “We’re getting the gang back together, whether they like it or not.” There was a hint of humour in his tone, but the weight of the mammoth task ahead was not lost on either of them. Donghyuck was once again grateful to have someone like Renjun on his side.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m going to get them back,” he muttered, leaning into Renjun’s shoulder as they walked side by side. “My family.”</p><p> </p><p>“Our family,” Renjun told him, meeting his eye. His gaze was unwavering.</p><p> </p><p>“Our family,” Donghyuck agreed.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>If anyone wants the list, just let me know but, hopefully, it's straight forward enough. If you have questions, just ask, but everyone is aged down about three years, give or take.</p><p>Anyway, thanks for stopping by. Have a wonderful day. :)</p><p>P.S. The new DREAM comeback is going to end me. Dead. Deceased. The 'Puzzle Piece' teaser is seared into my soul at this point, and I'm not even mad. #7DREAMLife</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is a little bit shorter, but I have some world-building to do before Renhyuck (and Jaemin) can really dive into getting the gang back together.</p><p>I spent a large part of yesterday plotting, to make sure I know exactly where this ship is going. I'm excited to continue the journey, and I hope you'll stick with me along the way.</p><p>Again, thank you so much for all the comments and kudos. It honestly means the world to me. You guys are absolutely amazing! &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After spending the rest of the weekend lamenting the fact that he wasn’t able to use company commitments as an excuse for not doing his homework, like he had when he’d been through high school the first time, Donghyuck woke up on Monday morning with a strong sense of purpose. He and Renjun had managed to text back and forth a few times on Sunday, in between his history essay and Renjun’s extra credit art project, and they were both eager to put their plans into action.</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck had offered to pick Renjun up for school, but the other boy had declined, explaining that it would be too much too conspicuous for them to arrive and leave school together on the first day of Operation Family<span>—</span>as they had so creatively dubbed it. The key, at least according to Renjun, was for Donghyuck to act as much like the old Hyuck as possible for the time being. Since the two of them were identical, yet polar opposites in many regards, they agreed that it would cause more harm than good if Donghyuck suddenly became a completely different person over a single weekend.</p><p> </p><p>If he was honest, he thought to himself as he found a parking spot and pulled up outside the main building, Donghyuck was nervous that he wasn’t a good enough actor to pull it off. It was a lot to ask, and he was very much out of his depth, but he forced himself to remember what was waiting for him back home and what was at stake. He blew out a gust of air, centring himself. He could do this.</p><p> </p><p>He wasn't alone.</p><p> </p><p>They could do this.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Fifteen minutes later, eyes glazed over as he tried to make small talk with the boy seated next to him in his homeroom class, he was sincerely doubting his previous conviction. The boy was talking animatedly about some party over the summer that they’d both apparently been in attendance at. He seemed nice enough and he clearly knew Donghyuck well enough for them to be friends, but Hyuck was quickly realising how tough it was to hold a conversation when you didn't even know the other person’s name.</p><p> </p><p>Just then, his phone buzzed in his pocket, sending a tiny shiver of static up his ribs. Trying not to look like he wasn't listening, he slipped it out of his jacket and palmed it into his lap. A subtle glance down had him smiling, and he glanced up towards the front of the room to see Renjun watching him knowingly. He caught a glimpse of Renjun’s phone, a subtle wave of the device in the air to make sure he’d caught on, and then his back was turned to Donghyuck again as if nothing happened.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Park Jong Soo. Soccer player. Lee Donghyuck fanboy #1. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Flashing the boy a genuine smile for the first time, he interrupted as Jongsoo continued a long, complex story that Donghyuck couldn’t recall the start of. “Sorry, Jongsoo-ah,” he said, making sure to give the boy his full attention this time, “I zoned out for a second there. Would you mind starting the story again?”</p><p> </p><p>He watched the boy struggle to process his words for a moment, seeming surprised that he’d asked, but then happily launched into his story from the top. Donghyuck couldn’t help but be reminded of the training he’d received before his first-ever fan meetings. Eye contact, smile and make them feel like the most important person in the room. He didn't have to fake that when he was with NCTizens<span>—</span>those fan events were always the highlight of his year after all<span>—</span>but he was definitely a pro at the artifice now, after all these years. This was no different and it really wasn't a boring story now that he was listening properly. Maybe this wouldn’t be so hard, he mused, as he nodded in agreement about some detail of a school soccer game he had no memory of attending. He could do this.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>A few hours later, after he thought he’d done a decent job remembering equations and formulae he’d never imagined he’d need again<span>—</span>aside from one slightly awkward moment when he’d panicked a little bit as everyone else moved to sit by their assigned lab partners in Chemistry, but he didn’t know which one was his<span>—</span>Donghyuck found himself in the main stairwell, joining the lunchtime rush towards the cafeteria.</p><p> </p><p>As he had been all of last week, he was joined by an assortment of students his age, who kept pace with him as he walked. He didn't think he would ever quite get used to the feeling of being followed so closely like this but he was starting to recognise a few of the faces, which was an encouraging sign. He could see Jaemin just up ahead too, weaving through the crowd with enviable ease. The familiar face grounded him, for which he was grateful.</p><p> </p><p>“Rehearsal?” he asked no one in particular, as his group reached the ground floor and paused when he did, forcing the rest of the students to flow around them like a dam in a stream. The hallway was noisy, but he was entirely unsurprised when an increasingly familiar face appeared in front of him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Yang Hyo Jin. Mediocre actress. Future Mrs Lee Donghyuck<span>—</span>she wishes. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck smiled down at her, but not for the reason she probably thought. He’d figured that last part out himself, before Renjun had added her to the crib sheet he’d made in the notes app on Donghyuck’s phone. It was a shame that she was barking up the wrong tree entirely, but she was trying. It was almost endearing, if he squinted<span>—</span>from a few miles away.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re feeling better then?” she asked, leaning up onto the balls of her feet to look him in the eye. He resisted the urge to look away but remembered that Renjun had said she was one of his closest friends<span>—</span>if he could really call any of them that. She would see through his act if he wasn't careful, so he simply smiled and nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“Much better,” he insisted, sticking with the story he’d spent the morning carefully sowing as to why he’d been acting so unlike himself the previous week. He was sure, if he looked around, he’d see Renjun watching with a knowing smirk<span>—</span>likely accompanied by Jaemin, who would probably just look confused. After all, this was all part of Renjun’s genius, and he was just the actor playing the role. “Shall we?” He slung an arm around her shoulder, since Renjun insisted that’s what he always did, and let her lead them away from the cafeteria and into the heart of the main school building.</p><p> </p><p>“I was worried about you,” Hyojin told him after a few moments. They were in a part of the building Donghyuck hadn’t seen yet, so he tried to commit the route to memory as they walked. “You were acting really strangely last week, you know?” He did know, although he would obviously never be able to tell her the truth about why. “I thought about texting or calling, but I know you don’t like to talk on the weekends.”</p><p> </p><p>He almost asked why, dropping slightly out of step rhythm as she surprised him yet again, but bit his lower lip instead. He’d have to ask Renjun later and hope that he knew. That didn't sound like an idea he’d have come up with, unless the other Donghyuck really didn't like his friends all that much, but there was still so much about himself<span>—</span>his other self<span>—</span>that he didn't know. Even Renjun’s observational insight could only carry him so far. He had a lot to learn, and fast.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m fine.” He really wanted to apologise, which he thought was the polite thing to do, but his pint-sized sensei had told him that the Lee Donghyuck they knew didn't do apologies. He thought that sounded rude, but she seemed to take it in stride. He gave her shoulder a quick squeeze before releasing her, letting his arm fall to his side. That was enough skinship with a complete stranger for one day. She’d have to make do, at least until he was a bit more comfortable with her and with her friends. Contrary to what most of his brothers would say, he wasn’t clingy with everyone. Just with them, because they were his safe space. His home. Other people, especially ones he didn't know, were most definitely not.</p><p> </p><p>He sighed, wanting more than anything to turn around and go wrap Renjun<span>—</span>and Jaemin for that matter<span>—</span>into a huge bear hug. He knew that everyone, including the two boys in question, would find that weird, so he hugged his arms around his body instead. It didn't really help and Hyojin gave him a weird look, but said nothing. Then she was pushing open the door to a large, open-plan room labelled ‘Drama Studio’.</p><p> </p><p>Inside, a few people were milling about, but the space was still fairly empty. A few students sat on a small, wooden stage set into the far wall, talking animatedly with each other. A girl in the opposite corner was dragging chairs out of what looked to be a storage cupboard, and a willowy, dark-haired boy with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows was helping her spread them out into a loose semi-circle facing the stage.</p><p> </p><p>“Dejun-oppa wanted to talk to you,” Hyojin told Donghyuck quietly, leaning in like she was offering up a secret. He resisted the urge to lean away, and watched as the boy turned with a stack of chairs in his arms to reveal a familiar, angular face. “He wasn’t happy that you missed three meetings last week.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks, Hyojin-ah,” he murmured, hoping that he didn't have some special nickname for her that he didn't know. “I’ll talk to him.” Leaving her and the others near the door, he sidestepped a few stray chairs and made his way over to XiaoJun. As he approached, the older boy looked up and met his eye, an inscrutable look on his face.</p><p> </p><p>He didn't look particularly annoyed, which he hoped was a good sign, but Donghyuck’s heart sped up for an entirely different reason. They hadn't known each other very well anyway, much to his regret, but this was the first time they were about to meet here. Now. In this reality. This would be the first test, the first brushstroke in what could be either a masterpiece or a catastrophe. Armed with a plan that already rested on a knife-edge at best, he was about to find out if he would sink or swim.</p><p> </p><p>“Hi.” He realised his mistake immediately, lowering himself into a little bow. “I mean, hello, Dejun-hyung.” Oh, he really hoped they were at least at a level where calling him hyung wouldn’t be weird. Otherwise, this would be over before it began. “I wanted to apologise for…”</p><p> </p><p>“Renjunie texted me last night and said you didn't feel well last week.” His voice was soft and smooth, even if the unique cadence and slightly slowed delivery made it clear he wasn’t a native Korean speaker. “Is that true?”</p><p> </p><p>“I<span>—</span>” Donghyuck hesitated. How typical of Renjun to plan everything down to the tiniest detail, only to casually forget to tell him he was going to text the older boy anyway. “I was. I hope that’s okay. I’m s<span>—</span>” Renjun’s warning hung in the air around him. Lee Donghyuck didn't apologise. To anyone. “I’m sorry,” he said quickly, unable to stop himself. Whoever the other Donghyuck was, he couldn’t be that person. Not with his members. He needed to be himself with XiaoJun<span>—</span>and hope that it was enough. That <em> he </em>was enough. “I hope my absence didn't cause too many problems.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s fine,” Dejun insisted, raising one eyebrow quizzically at him. He looked like he wanted to say something else, but thought better of it. Instead, he turned to the girl still offloading chairs and waved a hand to get her attention. “Sunhi, I need to show Hyuck something. I’ll be back to help in a minute, okay?”</p><p> </p><p>The girl muttered something that sounded like an agreement, as a few other students stopped whatever they had been doing to help her, and Dejun motioned for Donghyuck to follow him. Curious, he allowed himself to be led towards the stage, where a small black laptop case sat next to a large speaker. Unzipping it, Dejun fished out a pile of paper and dropped them into Donghyuck’s arms.</p><p> </p><p>“I was going to do this myself, if you were still sick, but it’s your job now.” He smiled. “Enjoy.” Donghyuck glanced down to see a sign-up sheet, with about twenty names already printed in a neat, blocky script. “I added yours and mine already, plus most of the regulars from last year.” Dejun looked up at him expectantly, but he must have seen the blank look in Donghyuck’s eyes. “You didn’t forget about the sign-up table, did you?”</p><p> </p><p>“No, of course not!” Donghyuck insisted, even as he had a tiny panic attack inside his own head. He grinned at Dejun, holding up the sheets and hoping his hand wasn’t shaking. “Sign-up table. Got it, boss.” The older boy shook his head, patted Donghyuck on the arm and walked away. The younger boy stared down at his own name, neatly scrawled below Xiao Dejun’s, and contemplated just how much the universe<span>—</span>or Injunie’s aliens<span>—</span>must hate him right now. He tried to reassure himself that the conversation could have gone a lot worse, but it wasn't convincing even to him.</p><p> </p><p>Pulling out his phone, he sent a quick text to Renjun. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> What exactly is a sign-up table? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Thinking for a moment, his fingers hovered over the screen before he sent a second message, followed by two more.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Also, I’m pretty sure Dejun-hyung thinks I’m insane. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Or an idiot. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Or both. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Papers in hand, he turned to see that the chairs were starting to fill up and people were now watching him expectantly. Not wanting to accidentally end up leading the meeting<span>—</span>which, as VP, he guessed would simply have to be another disaster for another day<span>—</span>he took an empty chair near the stage, tucking the paper underneath by his feet.</p><p> </p><p>His phone buzzed, and he was relieved to have an opportunity to do something other than look at the people around him, most of whom were staring back at him. He was not a shy person, far from it in fact, but he didn't like not knowing why they were staring. It made him uneasy, especially with everything else going on. Like they all knew something he didn't.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> There’s an event for new students on Wednesday at lunch, where they can sign up for clubs and extracurriculars. Every society has a table for sign-ups. I completely forgot about it, because I didn't go last year. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck noted that his other message had been artfully ignored for the time being. He wasn't surprised, but he appreciated the quick reply. He sent back his thanks and then tucked the phone away. The room was a lot noisier now, with at least two dozen students seated and more hovering at the edges of the room. He let it all blend to white noise, thinking about how he could go about proving his sanity to the man currently pacing the stage restlessly. It didn't bode well for him, if every person he cared about ended up thinking he was crazy, because he forgot how to be a normal human being when any of his members were around.</p><p> </p><p>“Excuse me. Is this seat taken?” Donghyuck jumped, not expecting anyone to invade his bubble so soon after sitting down. Turning to face the voice, his mouth fell open in surprise before he could school his brain not to react. A pale, rounded face, with wide smiling eyes. Jet black hair and an indomitable smile that he knew almost better than his own face. He smiled back instinctively, fighting the urge to reach out for a hug.</p><p> </p><p>“Chenle.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Critique is always welcome. I'd love to hear what you think.</p><p>In particular, if you have any theories, I'm always interested to read them.</p><p>Have a wonderful day! :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi. I'm speaking to you from the great beyond right now, because the Dreamies came for my soul. My bias is definitely showing, but it's actually not fair for Jaemin to look that damn perfect. (All of them, actually, come to think of it. Not fair at all!) My babies did so good, and I'm so damn proud.</p><p>Anyway, I got a little bit up in my (NCT Dream) feels with this one, so good luck! I hope you enjoy.</p><p>As always, thank you so much for all the support. It's insane, and I'm so grateful for everyone reading right now. &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Chenle.”</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck saw the confusion and hesitation flicker across Chenle’s face, and realised a few beats too late that he’d made yet another mistake. Fighting himself, always second-guessing what he should and shouldn’t know in this reality was tiring, but he really should have known better with this one. Chenle was a freshman; he’d only set foot in the building for the first time a week before<span>—</span>the same time as Donghyuck, ironically<span>—</span>so there’s no way that he should have known the younger boy’s name.</p><p> </p><p>“How<span>—</span>” Chenle hesitated, “how do you know my name?” His eyes seemed to take in every inch of Donghyuck’s face, analysing and scrutinising each pore. He found the older boy’s eyes again after a few moments, the two entering into a silent staring contest before a shy smile lifted Chenle’s lips. “What I mean to say is, I’m surprised you know who I am.” Surprisingly, his smile didn't even seem forced. It was as though he had decided, for whatever reason, not to continue to question what Donghyuck had just said. If anything, he almost looked pleased. “You’re Lee Donghyuck!”</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck didn't like the way he said that last part, with reverence and awe that should have been reserved for meeting the president<span>—</span>or magically going back in time to see Michael Jackson live in concert. To hear it from Chenle, who had essentially been his kid brother for nearly half a decade, made him uncomfortable.</p><p> </p><p>“My friend Renjun mentioned that he met you through the International Society last week.” Nice save, Donghyuck thought to himself, hoping that he sounded suitably casual. It wasn't even a lie. Just an extremely convenient misappropriation of Renjun’s words. “He said you were considering joining Drama.” He gestured around the wholly unfamiliar room and smiled up at Chenle. “Welcome.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks.” The younger boy finally took his seat next to Donghyuck, still watching him intently. “How did you know it was me though? There are a ton of new students here.” That was a very good question.</p><p> </p><p>“Renjunie mentioned that you were adorable,” he told Chenle, who blushed and let out a loud squeak of surprise that had Donghyuck struggling not to hug him for the second time in five minutes. It was so quintessentially Chenle, he thought, and he’d missed that sound. Even before he’d ended up here, he’d missed hanging out with his youngest brothers while they prepared for the 127 comeback. Donghyuck didn't know what would happen after he got home, but he realised then that he needed to appreciate this time with Chenle while he could. “He wasn't wrong.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks,” Chenle mumbled, trying and failing to pretend he wasn't flattered by Donghyuck’s words. “I guess.” As he watched the red continue to rise in Chenle’s cheeks, Donghyuck had an idea. He wasn’t convinced it would work, but he was willing to try anything.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, Chenle?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p> </p><p>“If you need anything, either here in Drama or in school in general, come find me.” Chenle’s eyes widened, and Donghyuck had to fight the urge to laugh at the expression on his face. This younger, shyer Chenle might think he was making fun of him when the opposite was true. “Think of me as your big brother here at,” he inwardly cringed slightly, remembering the sign above the main entrance, “Neo City High School. I<span>—</span>If you want.” The dismount wasn't quite so smooth, but he didn't want to come on too strong. Or more strongly than he already had.</p><p> </p><p>“Wait, really?” Chenle looked like he wanted to smile, but the slightest hint of a frown lingered at the centre of his brows, just above the bridge of his nose. “Why me?”</p><p> </p><p>“No reason,” Donghyuck said softly, clasping his fingers together in his lap. He wanted to look away, embarrassed, but forced himself to maintain eye contact. “I just have a feeling you and I will get on well. Renjun spoke highly of you and that’s enough for me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh,” was all Chenle said for a few long, agonising moments. “Would it be okay if I call you hyung?”</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck did laugh at that, and it was the most genuine laugh he thought he’d had since he’d woken up here a week ago. You never do normally, he thought, recalling the utter lack of respect that the Chenle he knew displayed on a near-daily basis. He didn't mind it anymore, and he often did the same with Mark and the older members, when he thought he could get away with it, so the excitement that Chenle seemed to have to actually call him hyung was endearing.</p><p> </p><p>“Of course you can,” he told Chenle. “As I said, treat me like a hyung. I’m here to support you, whatever you need.” The younger boy flushed again, then thanked him. Unfortunately, Dejun chose that moment to call for quiet to start the meeting, drawing both of their attention to the stage, but Donghyuck knew they were both still smiling. He felt like, for once, the conversation had gone quite well.</p><p> </p><p>“Donghyuck-ssi<span>—</span>I mean Donghyuck-hyung,” Chenle whispered, leaning in to talk into his ear as XiaoJun started his introductions. Hyuck turned slightly in his seat so that the other boy knew he was listening.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re not anything like how I thought you’d be.” Donghyuck frowned at that, but then Dejun was calling his name, introducing him as the vice president. He stood up and gave a small wave to the sizable crowd of people who had apparently arrived while he was talking to Chenle, letting his gaze drift across the circle of chairs and up to the crowds that clung to the walls behind them. There had to be at least fifty, and at least half of them looked to be freshmen. He didn't say anything, because it didn't seem like he needed to, and then sat back down. He waited a few moments, to be sure that he wouldn’t be called on again, and then returned his attention to Chenle.</p><p> </p><p>“What do you mean?” he asked quickly.</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing,” Chenle whispered, shaking his head. Donghyuck fixed him with a questioning, demanding gaze, and the younger boy caved. “Some people I spoke to said you were,” he seemed to search for the right word, “hard to approach.” Donghyuck got the impression that, whoever these people were, that hadn't been their exact choice of words, but he was sure he didn't want to know. His reputation wasn't something he could fix. Not yet, at least, but it still hurt to hear his little brother spell it out so bluntly.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re really not like that though, hyung.” Chenle hurried on, realising he had said something that had upset the older boy. “You’ve been so nice to me.” He surprised Donghyuck then by grabbing onto his upper arm, looping his arms around it and squeezing tightly. Instinctively, Hyuck leaned in and pressed his side to Chenle’s, seeking out the warmth of the half-hug that had been offered.</p><p> </p><p>It was over as quickly as it had begun, their limbs detaching quickly as they turned their attention back onto the stage and onto Dejun, but the warmth it had brought seemed to linger in Donghyuck’s arm<span>—</span>and in his chest<span>—</span>for hours after the meeting was over.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>The meeting continued like that for a while, as Dejun explained that they had selected Les Miserables as their production for that semester. Donghyuck noted that more than a few people had glanced his way at that announcement, so he made sure to nod and smile along with Dejun’s speech. He wasn't sure what the other Donghyuck had against musicals so badly, but he was actually quite excited. It wasn't a show he’d ever performed songs from before, so it would be a new challenge.</p><p> </p><p>He wondered absently whether he’d still be around when the time came to perform it, but that was a question for another time. Potentially missing the show shouldn’t make him sad; he wanted to go home.</p><p> </p><p>“We will need collaboration from other societies,” Dejun told them, looking up from the notebook he had been using to keep track of his talking points. “We want to get started with casting and preparation as soon as possible, so I want to get them onboard quickly.”</p><p> </p><p>Other societies, as it turned out, were the Dance Society and the school’s two academic music programmes. Donghyuck wondered why he wasn't involved in the music programme, but figured that it might have something to do with his apparent hatred of musicals. Again, he couldn’t help but feel like the other Donghyuck was a complete stranger. They had almost nothing in common, apart from the way they looked.</p><p> </p><p>“We can definitely rely on the music department to help,” Dejun said, pulling Donghyuck back into the moment. “It’s a school-sanctioned production, so they kind of have to.” There were a few polite chuckles at that, and Donghyuck grinned. Dejun was a good president, he thought, as he watched him pace. He knew that, in his reality, Kun was in charge in WayV and for good reason, but XiaoJun had this calm thoughtfulness to him that made people pay attention<span>—</span>that and an enviable jawline.</p><p> </p><p>“We will need to contact the leaders of the Dance Society, to see if they’re interested in being involved,” Dejun continued, calculating brown eyes scanning the room. “Any volunteers?” Since he hadn't even known he was the VP of this society, Donghyuck figured that he would be useless in this regard. He had no clue who his dancing counterparts were. When no one else spoke either, Dejun sighed and looked down at his notebook again. “I guess I’ll speak to Kunhang about it tomorrow at lunch. Hyuck, could you mention it to Jaemin, if you see him sooner?”</p><p> </p><p>“Sure.” Donghyuck had all but forgotten that Jaemin had mentioned he was a dancer here. He guessed it made sense, but he was so used to seeing the boy as an all-rounder in Dream that it took him a second for the memory to sink in. “Will do.”</p><p> </p><p>“Good. Between the two of us, the request should make it back to the president eventually.” The older boy looked up at Donghyuck and made eye contact, before continuing. “One last announcement. We have a sign-up table on Wednesday afternoon, and Hyuck has kindly agreed to man that for me.” He smirked at the boy in question then, which Donghyuck returned. That wasn't exactly true, but he’d take it. He wanted to prove himself to Dejun and, if this was how he did it, it was a small price to pay. “Do we have any volunteers to help him out?”</p><p> </p><p>Across the room, Donghyuck saw Hyojin’s hand fly into the air, followed more reluctantly by a few of the other students he vaguely recognised from his entourage. No one else moved, except for the boy directly beside him, who practically leapt off his chair to throw his limb into the air. Chenle glanced up at Donghyuck, as if checking that it was okay, and then wiggled his fingers excitedly up at Dejun.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll do it,” Chenle almost shouted. He swallowed loudly, flushing yet again, before continuing in a slightly quieter voice. “I know I’m only a first-year, but I’d be happy to help Donghyuck-hyung. If he wants me.” If he hadn't already adored this kid with every part of his soul, Donghyuck thought that he would have fallen all over again in that moment. He couldn't help the wide, cheesy smile that spread across his face, reaching over to ruffle Chenle’s fluffy black hair affectionately.</p><p> </p><p>“Is that okay with you, Hyuck?” Dejun asked. He sounded more than a little shocked. “He still needs to sign up himself, but I guess there’s no reason why he <em> can’t </em> help.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s fine with me.” Donghyuck heard someone, probably Hyojin, complaining loudly from across the room. He probably ought to be concerned about it, remembering what Renjun had said about not changing too much too fast, but he didn't care. “Thanks, Chenle-yah.” The answering smile and a second quick half-hug were more than enough to make it well worth it.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>After the meeting finished, Donghyuck had just five minutes to eat lunch before classes started again. He didn't share a class with Renjun or Jaemin that afternoon, but he received a text message from Renjun during the final hour asking if he was free to meet after school. He readily agreed, and they agreed on the cafe they’d visited on Saturday morning. It was a little further out from Donghyuck’s house, but he didn't mind.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Jaemin told me to tell you he’s inviting himself. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>His teacher almost caught him after that one, when he forgot to be subtle about checking his phone under the table as he responded.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I’d expect nothing less. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>If the last hour seemed to drag after that, he couldn't help it, any more than he could help the smile that played across his lips.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>“What can I get for you boys?”</p><p> </p><p>The three of them had arrived at the cafe around the same time, Donghyuck having learned from his geographical struggles the last time he’d ventured into town. It was a different waitress this time, but this one was no less friendly. The place had been busier when they’d arrived that afternoon, unsurprising when compared to first thing on a Saturday morning, but they’d snagged one of the last tables by the window. Renjun had been forced to slide into a chair so close to the wall that neither of the other two would have been able to fit. Donghyuck didn't envy him the challenge of getting back out at the end.</p><p> </p><p>“Ice cream?” Renjun mused cheerfully, offering Donghyuck a conspiratorial look. It was definitely a more appropriate time to consume sugar by the bucketload than it had been last time, and Donghyuck had never been one to turn down sugar when it was available. He had to watch his diet so carefully as an idol, and it was a relief to not have to think so hard about it at the moment.</p><p> </p><p>“Absolutely,” he agreed. “What flavour?” When Renjun simply shrugged, he raised two fingers and smiled up at the waitress. “Chocolate. Large. Two spoons, please.” He glanced over at Jaemin, who was watching the exchange intently like he was trying to figure out something important. “Jaemin-ah, do you need a menu?”</p><p> </p><p>“Why would I need a menu?” the younger boy shot back, sounding confused.</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t eat ice cream. Too much dairy.” Jaemin’s mouth fell open, probably surprised that Donghyuck had remembered<span>—</span>no one ever did in the dorms either, so nothing had changed there<span>—</span>but he quickly recovered and nodded. The waitress promised to be right back with a menu for him, leaving them to deliberate their drink orders. Not for the first time, Jaemin astounded Donghyuck with the dangerous amount of caffeine he consumed on a daily basis, but it was a much-needed dose of familiarity.</p><p> </p><p>After finishing their order, they made small talk about their day for a while until the woman returned with their drinks, ice cream and cake for Jaemin. Donghyuck sensed that Renjun wanted to interrogate him further when he casually mentioned meeting Chenle, but was holding back from doing so with Jaemin present. He seemed to be letting Donghyuck take the lead, allowing him to decide how much to say with the other boy there.</p><p> </p><p>“Chenle is helping me out with the sign-up table on Wednesday," he offered, after Jaemin finished telling a funny story about his English teacher falling asleep in the middle of class. Renjun’s eyes bugged out and he sat up straighter in his seat, gripping the edge of the table with his fingers.</p><p> </p><p>“Really? Tell me everything.”</p><p> </p><p>He told Renjun quickly about what had happened during the meeting, sparing him none of the details. Donghyuck felt a little bad for Jaemin, who watched them both with a confused little frown, but Renjun pestered him with a ton of questions after he was done. The older boy even retrieved a familiar sheet of folded paper from his bag and made a note on it.</p><p> </p><p>Jaemin tried to peek over his shoulder, but Renjun slapped his hand away and reminded him that he’d invited himself along and he could just as easily be uninvited. Jaemin pouted at that, channelling his inner kicked puppy.</p><p> </p><p>“I told you, it won’t mean anything to you,” Renjun told Jaemin sternly. The poor boy actually shrank under Renjun’s gaze, and Donghyuck knew he needed to change the subject before he destroyed Jaemin completely with only his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Jaemin-ah?” he called, suddenly remembering that he did have something he needed to talk to Jaemin about. “I almost forgot. Dejun-hyung asked me to pass on a message for the president of the Dance Society.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh?” As he’d hoped, that successfully distracted Jaemin from the hushed argument he’d just started with Renjun about why the tree the piece of paper was made from would want Jaemin to see it too. “What about?”</p><p> </p><p>Explaining the musical and what they needed from the school’s dancers took a while, and Donghyuck was glad to see the tension dissipating as they found a topic that Jaemin could engage with. Renjun offered up a few insightful suggestions that Donghyuck said he’d take back to Dejun, and Jaemin seemed excited by the idea of the collaboration he was suggesting. Apparently, Jaemin had even seen the show before once, when he was young, and was more than happy to fill the other two in on some of the finer intricacies of the show. There wasn't much dancing in the original, but he seemed convinced that it would be fun to adapt it together.</p><p> </p><p>They were still discussing a clip that Jaemin had shown them on his phone when the cafe closed and they were forced to leave. It was starting to get dark as they left, the sun disappearing behind the taller buildings in the distance. Before they parted ways, Jaemin promised he’d call Sangmin, the Dance Society president, when he got to his house. Renjun gave him a ride, leaving Donghyuck to climb into his own car and drive home. It took a while, which gave him time to let the day sink in.</p><p> </p><p>He turned on the radio, found a station playing songs that didn't remind him of his own music at all, and let loose his inner karaoke queen. It was incredibly cathartic, singing at the top of his lungs when no one could hear, just because he wanted to. He let his body drive on auto-pilot and cleared his mind of everything, as much as possible. By the time he pulled up the driveway on his house, he felt oddly at peace.</p><p> </p><p>Staring up at the darkening sky above him, tiny droplets of rain just starting to impact the windscreen of his car, he let himself dwell, for just a moment, in the here and now. He wasn't where he was meant to be, and he didn't know what was to come even tomorrow, but he couldn't help but appreciate the way that nature continued, regardless of the struggles he was going through. Come what may, the sun would still rise in the morning, greeting him as he faced the new dawn. There was something incredibly poetic about it all.</p><p> </p><p>Before he had the chance to get any more existential, the heavens opened and the clouds abruptly started to empty themselves in vicious, misty sheets, which pounded the driveway and pinged off the metal of the car’s chassis. Snatching up his bag from the passenger seat, Donghyuck threw open the driver’s side door and made a break for the house, lamenting his decision to linger for those few seconds in the car. Icy droplets rolled down his cheeks and neck, soaking the shirt under his jacket and making him shiver.</p><p> </p><p>He fumbled with the key for a few moments, fingers shaking too hard to push it into the lock. The droplets snaked further, chilling his skin as they wound their way towards his core. Eventually, he managed to get the door open and hurried inside, shaking out his now soaking wet hair. Dumping his bag on the mat by the door, he hoped his mom wouldn’t mind the puddle as he raced up the stairs towards the shower, praying that he wouldn’t get sick. He didn't have time to get sick. There was just too much to do.</p><p> </p><p>Unfortunately, sickness bowed to no one, not even Lee Donghyuck.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Quick note: Someone in the comments asked if I had an upload schedule, and I thought other people might be curious too. The short answer is no. No, I don't. The not-so-short answer is that I really struggle to commit to specific days, due to my crazy busy work schedule (corporate finance jobs don't really like us having free time), but I'm currently aiming for 4 days a week while working from home. That will change once I'm commuting again, but that likely won't be for a while. So, yeah. Four days a week. Hopefully, that's a good enough answer...</p><p>As always, I hope you have a wonderful day! :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I won't say much before this one, other than to thank you again for the amazing support so far. I'm blown away, yet again. &lt;3</p><p>See you on the other side...</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning when he woke, Donghyuck thought that he’d somehow managed to dodge a bullet with the scalding shower he’d taken as soon as he’d gotten home. He’d wrapped himself up in a thick blanket soon after, and had gone to bed feeling relaxed and toasty warm. If he’d woken up, cocooned in blankets and feeling a little too warm, then that was nothing to be concerned about. He’d had a restful night, that was all. He was ready and eager to face the day.</p><p> </p><p>Then he sneezed once, pushing open the bathroom door, and again as he was picking out a clean shirt from the pile of freshly laundered clothes that had been left outside his bedroom door sometime after he’d gone to bed. The second time, it was violent enough that his vision went blurry for a few seconds and he stumbled, back hitting the wall with enough force to shake the two picture frames either side of him. Pressing the back of his hand to his forehead, he was shocked to find it sweaty and far too warm to the touch.</p><p> </p><p>His mom took one look at him and sent him straight back to bed, promising to bring him water and medicine immediately. He could hear her calling the school downstairs as he flopped back down on his bed fully clothed, pulling the sheets up to his chin. A minute later, a hand was stroking his hair softly, and a large assortment of supplies was being offloaded onto his nightstand. Water, thermometer, a mound of tissues<span>—</span>he had half the kitchen in his room before she was done.</p><p> </p><p>“Donghyuck-ah?” He turned towards the sound of her voice, not bothering to open his eyes. If he kept them closed, he could almost imagine that she was the woman he wanted most when he was sick, the one he missed more than he could admit to himself while fully lucid. “Donghyuck, honey?” she repeated, hand back in his hair and massaging gently.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, mom?” He leaned into the touch, enjoying the attention even though he knew it wasn't quite the same as what he really needed. It was still comforting, and he felt his whole body relaxing as she continued to trace slow, rhythmic circles across his scalp.</p><p> </p><p>“I tried to call out from work, but they didn't have anyone else to cover for me at such short notice.” She sounded distressed, fingers slowing their movements as she spoke. “I’m sorry. I can try to leave early and get home, but with your father away and your brother…”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s okay,” Donghyuck told her, snaking a hand out from under the covers to reach above his head, easily finding her wrist and then her hand. He looped his fingers with hers, squeezing gently. She squeezed back and he smiled, the gesture so familiar from his childhood. “I’ll be fine on my own. I’m just going to sleep all day anyway.”</p><p> </p><p>She protested for several minutes, even as Donghyuck felt his strength sap even further, but she eventually gave in when he promised to text her if he needed her to come home. “I’ll be here in fifteen minutes, baby,” she told him earnestly, and he believed she really would if he asked.</p><p> </p><p>He hadn't been lying though; he really did just plan to sleep and regain his strength. He needed to be back at school the next day, to man the sign-up table for Dejun at the freshman event with Chenle. He wasn't about to let either of them down, not when he’d started to make some progress with at least one of them.</p><p> </p><p>After watching him drink a glass of water and take some cold medicine, his mom finally left and he found himself asleep in seconds, barely even noticing the dull thud as his bedroom door closed behind her. He didn't dream. He never did anymore<span>—</span>not here.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>He woke up periodically throughout the morning, first to throw off his sheets as he sweated profusely and then later to pull them back over him as the air coming in through the open window chilled his bare skin. Eventually, though, he found himself staring up at the ceiling, awareness returning more fully than it had in hours. He tried to return to unconsciousness once more, but his body was telling him that it was no longer tired. He lazily tracked several dust motes as they drifted through the air above him, then sighed and slowly pushed himself upright.</p><p> </p><p>Squinting over at where he now knew his glasses lived, he retrieved them and pulled them onto his face. Blinking slowly, he drank the rest of the water that had been left for him, along with a second dose of medication. He already felt much better, and his forehead felt like a much more reasonable temperature than before, but his mom had left him very specific instructions on a small slip of paper next to the packet. If it meant he’d be back to normal quicker, he’d happily follow them.</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck was contemplating getting up, albeit it just to go downstairs and laze around on the sofa for the rest of the day, when he heard the buzz of a new message as his phone lit up on the bed next to his pillow. He groaned, his muscles protesting as he leaned over to pick it up, but he knew that was just from getting so much sleep. It would quickly pass, once he finally got out of bed.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I swear, Hyuck-ah, if you don’t answer me soon, I’m going to lose my mind. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>The last message, received seconds ago, had been from Renjun, but it wasn't the only one that blinked up at him. It was stacked on top of at least ten others from the older boy, each along the same lines but growing increasingly worried as the hours ticked by. There were also a few from Jaemin, which made him grin as he started to read them.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Save me. Without you here, Renjunie has turned into a certified crazy person. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>That one had been sent just an hour ago, probably sometime during lunch, judging by the time stamp.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Where are you? Renjun’s ready to riot. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>That one had been sent an hour earlier.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Can we meet up at lunch today? I have something I need to talk to you about. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>The last one gave him pause, Donghyuck frowning as he tried to figure out what Jaemin might have meant. It had been received just before 9 am, around when he would have been due to arrive at their homeroom class. He obviously hadn't answered, and Jaemin would have soon noticed him missing. He hoped it hadn’t been too urgent.</p><p> </p><p>He replied to Renjun first, quickly tapping out a message to explain that he was sick and had been asleep all morning. He assumed that it would remain unread for a while, with classes having already begun for the afternoon, and had started typing out a similar message to Jaemin when the phone started to vibrate in his hands. Accepting the incoming call, he put the phone on speaker and let it drop onto the bed beside him.</p><p> </p><p>“Hello?” He knew who was calling, the emojis in the ID field making that clear, but it was in the middle of class. “Why are you call<span>—</span>?”</p><p> </p><p>“Hyuckie!” The voice was faint through the receiver, but the urgency in it was unmistakable. “Oh, thank goodness. Do you know how worried I’ve been?” The words sounded shaky, like Renjun was breathing heavily. It almost sounded like he was crying, but that made no sense. Donghyuck was just off sick for a day; he hadn't died or anything.</p><p> </p><p>“Calm down, Injun,” he said, scooping the phone up to hold it closer to his face, like the proximity could comfort the other boy somehow. The heavy breathing on the other end told him it wasn't working, so he tried again. “What’s going on? Why aren’t you in class right now?”</p><p> </p><p>Faintly he heard the sound of a door closing, then some low muffled scraping noises before the other boy spoke again. “I’m in the bathroom,” Renjun told him, sniffling softly as he did so. “I left class as soon as I saw your message.” Donghyuck frowned, standing up and walking over to his bedroom door as he waited for Renjun to explain further. He didn't.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t understand.” He walked slowly down the hall towards the bathroom, cradling the phone to his chest as he moved. “Why were you so worried about me. It’s just a little cold.” Renjun laughed weakly at that, before sighing so deeply that the vibration tickled Donghyuck’s finger where it rested next to the receiver.</p><p> </p><p>“I<span>—</span>I thought you were gone,” Renjun said after a few moments. Donghyuck placed the phone down next to the sink and scrubbed a hand over his face, watching in the mirror as a little colour started to return to his cheeks with the motion. “I just got my friend back<span>—</span>or a parallel universe version of my friend who somehow doesn’t hate me<span>—</span>and then you were just gone.” He paused again, and Donghyuck saw the sudden realisation dawn on his own face. “I texted but you didn't answer. I thought I’d lost you again.”</p><p> </p><p>For a long moment, Donghyuck said nothing. His fingers gripped the curve of the sink, and he stared into it blankly. So many thoughts were swimming through his head that he couldn't reach out and grab anyone in particular, and he suddenly felt exhausted all over again.</p><p> </p><p>He couldn't blame Renjun for the reaction. He knew how quickly they had fallen back into a friendship that felt effortless, yet Renjun had been so unwaveringly supportive of his need to find a way home<span>—</span>to get back home to his Renjun, and the rest of his family. The older boy hadn't complained, not even once, but Donghyuck knew that Renjun was worried about what would happen after he was gone.</p><p> </p><p>He’d be lying if he said he didn't worry about that too, didn't worry about this version of Renjun who didn't seem to have many other friends. He planned to help change that before he was gone again, if he could, but he could imagine how hard it would be for Renjun if he suddenly left him again so quickly. Renjun needed Donghyuck as much as Donghyuck needed Renjun. He could see that clearly now, the realisation coming just a little bit late.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you still there, Renjun-ah?” he asked, turning his attention back to the phone on the countertop. He could hear the other boy still, could hear every laboured breath as he sobbed softly into the phone on the other end of the line, but he was trying to be gentle. Renjun mumbled something too quiet to understand in response, which Donghyuck took as his cue to continue. “I’m sorry for making you worry. I didn't mean to ignore your messages.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know.”</p><p> </p><p>“I was asleep the whole time,” Donghyuck explained. “I didn't see any of them.” His fingers started to ache, so he peeled them carefully away from the ceramic surface of the sink, feeling a flush of heat as the feeling surged back into his extremities. He hadn't realised he’d been holding on so tightly, distracted as he was by their conversation. “Renjun-ah, it won’t happen again. I promise.” They both knew he couldn't really make that promise, in truth, but he’d hold himself to it for as long as he could. “I’ll text you before I pass out next time.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay.” Renjun chuckled, the sound still sounding wet like he was crying, but his voice held a hint of genuine amusement. Donghyuck heard footsteps through the phone, then one more soft sniffle. “I’m sorry I kind of freaked out on you there. I need to get myself together.”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t apologise.” Donghyuck tapped the screen to take the phone off speaker and sat down on the closed toilet lid, pressing the device to his ear. “Never apologise for caring. I can’t control everything that happens from this point, but I’m here for you.” He smiled, hoping Renjun could feel the gesture in his words. “We’ve still got a lot to do, if you’ll remember. My current stats are still one and a half out of four, if you count Jaemin as a partial success.”</p><p> </p><p>“I try never to count Jaemin, if I can help it,” Renjun said melodramatically, and Donghyuck could just imagine him rolling his eyes as he spoke. They both laughed, and Renjun’s voice didn't shake this time. Donghyuck counted that as a success. He was still chuckling to himself as Renjun spoke again. “Thanks, Hyuck. You’re right.” He sighed. “I should probably get back to class before I get in trouble. I look like a mess, but my Biology teacher-nim is really strict.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay.” Donghyuck thought for a moment. “Hey, Renjun-ah?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you, for everything. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Donghyuck had said something similar to Renjun on Saturday, but today the words felt so much more meaningful. He meant every word, from the bottom of his heart.</p><p> </p><p>“Love you too, Hyuck-ah. Feel better.” With a soft click, the call disconnected and Donghyuck dropped the phone into his lap. He let himself linger in the bathroom for a while longer, eyes tracing the geometric pattern of the shower curtain over and over, before he headed downstairs to find some food and a trashy show to binge.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck was still curled up on the sofa when his mom came home, starting yet another episode of some variety show he was half-convinced he’d been on at some point with one of his units. He was busy trying to figure out which one when the sound of movement drifted into the room from the hallway. Waving the remote control in the direction of the television, he paused the show and padded over to the door.</p><p> </p><p>“Mom?” Stepping out into the hallway, he froze as his gaze locked onto a tall, decidedly male figure, who was bent over with his back to Donghyuck. He was removing his shoes, placing them neatly next to Donghyuck’s school shoes near the front door. His back was to Donghyuck, but he could make out broad, lightly-muscled shoulders underneath a black polo shirt that stretched as the man moved. He had short black hair, cropped close at the sides and slightly longer in the back, where it just barely brushed the collar of the dark shirt. The man straightened up, turning to face Donghyuck, wiping a hand down the front of his faded blue jeans.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyung?” For a moment, neither of them moved. Donghyuck took in the familiar planes of the man’s face, the strong, angular brows, penetrating eyes and the slightest hint of a dimple as his lips quirked upwards. Jaehyun looked younger than Donghyuck was used to, soft in a way that he hadn't been for some time, but there was no mistaking that face.</p><p> </p><p>“Donghyuck.” That was it. No affectation. No nickname. Just, Donghyuck. The half-smile fell from Jaehyun’s face as he spoke, eyes shifting to focus on a spot on the wall behind Donghyuck’s head. The younger boy instinctively shifted to move back into his field of vision, but Jaehyun didn't look at him. “I didn't expect you to be home.”</p><p> </p><p>“I was sick, so I stayed home from school today.” At that, Jaehyun’s gaze shifted, sweeping over Donghyuck’s face and down his body quickly, almost clinically. Concern clouded his features for a fraction of a second before he schooled them into a blank expression again. Not once did he meet Donghyuck’s gaze, not after the first time, and Donghyuck couldn't help the worry that started to grow in his gut. Why wouldn’t Jaehyun look at him?</p><p> </p><p>“Are you okay?” There was the barest hint of genuine emotion as Jaehyun spoke, although his words were clipped and harsh to Donghyuck’s ear. He nodded and Jaehyun’s lips pursed, as though he wasn't sure what to say next.</p><p> </p><p>“I was just watching a random show, waiting for my mom to get home.” Their mom, he realised with a start as he stared at Jaehyun, who was doing everything short of running away to avoid doing the same. “I didn't know you were coming, but you can come and watch with me if you want, while we wait.”</p><p> </p><p>Jaehyun looked at him then, really looked at him, and Donghyuck suddenly wished he hadn’t. The coldness he saw reflected in Jaehyun’s usually warm brown eyes made him feel like he’d been dunked into an icy lake, and the harsh set of the older man’s jaw had him wanting to curl in on himself.</p><p> </p><p>He had never seen that look on Jaehyun’s face before<span>—</span>not even when Donghyuck had broken his favourite vinyl by accident, stepping on it as he ran away from Taeil during a prank gone wrong. That Jaehyun had been disappointed and more than a little upset; this Jaehyun was devoid of any emotion at all, save for anger and utter contempt.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll be in my room,” he told Donghyuck quietly, then turned on his heel and walked away. The younger boy watched him climb the stairs, heard a door open and close, and then there was complete silence. Donghyuck stared at the place where his brother<span>—</span>his actual blood brother, in this reality<span>—</span>had stood, mouth open in shock.</p><p> </p><p>He couldn't even begin to process what had just happened. He hadn’t expected things with this Jaehyun to be exactly like his close relationship with his former roommate, but he couldn't have prepared himself for this. There was no gentle way to put it<span>—</span>this Jaehyun absolutely hated him, and he had no idea why.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Before anyone murders me, remember that I have a plan. Everything happens for a reason, and I won't keep you in the dark about this particular dynamic for very long. That said, as always, I'd love to hear what you think. Feel free to sound off below, if you wish.</p><p>Have a wonderful day. :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I couldn't find a good place to end this one, and then it was 4k, so there's that.</p><p>The set up for most of the main first act plot arcs are in place now, at the end of this one, so we're going to speed up a bit plot-wise from here. I'm excited... :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Still baffled by what had just happened between him and Jaehyun, Donghyuck retreated to the living room. He didn’t bother pressing play on the show he’d been watching, staring at the static figures on screen instead, as though they might have the answers to his problems emblazoned on their foreheads.</p><p> </p><p>Unsurprisingly, they did not.</p><p> </p><p>When his mom arrived home a half-hour later, she found him curled in on himself on the sofa, arms wrapped around his knees. She was initially concerned and felt for his forehead, but he reassured her that he no longer felt sick. When he mentioned that his brother had arrived, she smiled sadly and nodded. She said nothing more on the matter, but it was obvious that their distance was not a new phenomenon.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you want to eat in your room?” she asked sometime later, the enticing scent of something delicious cooking wafting in behind her as she opened the door. She sounded resigned, as though she knew the answer to the question already and that it would upset her. If only Donghyuck was clued into whatever it was that everyone else in the house already knew.</p><p> </p><p>“Downstairs is fine,” he said quickly, pushing up off the sofa. Her eyes narrowed in surprise as she followed his movement, watching as he tugged his hoodie down and smiled weakly at her. “I feel much better now and it smells amazing.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh. Are you sure?”</p><p> </p><p>“Why wouldn’t I be?” he asked, walking towards her. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulling him into a hug. He resisted the urge to flinch, letting himself relax into her embrace instead. “Is that a problem?” He leant back a little to look her in the eyes and saw that she was doing the same. She patted his cheek softly.</p><p> </p><p>“Of course not. I’m just surprised.” She smiled and swiped her thumb just under his eye, smoothing out the dark circles he knew were present. He wasn't physically tired, not after today, but the stresses of the situation had been taking its toll. “You don't usually<span>—</span>” She hesitated. “Not if your brother is home.”</p><p> </p><p>“What happened between us?” Donghyuck had texted Renjun to ask him, sometime after Jaehyun had disappeared into his room, but Renjun had been as clueless as he was. He could only hope that his mother had some insight, being closer to the situation. “When did we get like this?”</p><p> </p><p>“I don't know.” She swallowed thickly, blinking back the single tear that brimmed in the corner of one eye. “You were always so close when you were kids. You idolised him and then one day, about three years, you just stopped speaking. Neither of you would ever tell me what happened, but it wasn't the same between you after that.” She was crying by this point, and Donghyuck felt his heart break for her a little bit. He didn't know this woman really, but the instinct to protect her was as strong as it would have been for his real parents. She was hurting and it was his fault. He tightened his arms around her and let her drop her head forward onto his shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry, mom.” He had to find a way to fix this, for himself and Jaehyun but also for her. She deserved better than this, better than the person her son had become, somewhere along the way. He couldn't fix that Donghyuck, but he could try to be the son she deserved while he was here.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Dinner was<span>—</span>awkward. He sat opposite Jaehyun, with their mom acting as a buffer between them at the head of the table. The food was amazing, as he’d come to expect while living in this house, but the conversation had been stilted and awkward. Jaehyun spoke to their mother, chatting about college life and some sports event he’d been to with his friends. Donghyuck told her about his day, and what he had going on at school the next day. They both kept the tone light and casual, as though everything was normal, but neither could miss the dried, streaked tears on her cheeks and the way that Jaehyun pointedly refused to even glance at Donghyuck. Neither spoke a word directly addressed to the other and, as soon as he finished eating, Jaehyun stood and left the room.</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck watched as their mom followed him out into the hallway, but couldn't make out much more than a low whisper as they spoke quietly for a few minutes. When she rejoined him at the table, fresh tears were leaking slowly down her face and her lips were pressed tightly together in a harsh line. Donghyuck excused himself to his room quickly after that, knowing it was cowardly but not able to bear watching her like this any longer.</p><p> </p><p>That night, he barely slept, thoughts of Jaehyun’s cold expression, void of all emotion, free-wheeling through his mind.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Xiao Dejun cornered him the next morning before school, as he climbed the staircase to his homeroom class alone. Donghyuck reassured the older boy that he was feeling much better<span>—</span>which was true, as he had woken up tired but decidedly illness-free<span>—</span>and that he’d be in the auditorium at the start of lunch for the sign-up table. Dejun didn't sound convinced, so he pulled out the sign-up sheets from his bag, showing Dejun that he had remembered to bring them along with him. This finally seemed to satisfy the older boy, who nodded and then left him to make his way to class.</p><p> </p><p>Once inside, Jaemin accosted him on his way to his seat. His friend seemed considerably more subdued than normal. He usually wore an effervescent smile, his aura eclipsing the other students in the room struggling just to stay awake first thing in the morning. Today, though, he wore a perpetual frown and asked if he could talk to Donghyuck alone. It made sense, considering the message he’d sent the previous afternoon<span>—</span>a message that Donghyuck had completely forgotten to respond to, after everything that had happened.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s up, Jaemin-ah?” he started to ask, sinking into the chair at his desk. Jaemin perched on the desk in front of him, legs swinging loosely a few inches above the ground. The younger boy fixed him with a serious, penetrating gaze, worrying his bottom lip as he stared. When he leaned in slightly, twisting to give the rest of the room his back, Donghyuck did the same. </p><p> </p><p>“Morning!” They both jumped, pulling apart as Renjun slid in between them and slapped a hand down on each of their shoulders. “We missed you yesterday, didn't we Jaemin.” Moment forgotten, Donghyuck smiled up at Renjun, who looked positively giddy to see him. Jaemin smiled too, flashing Renjun a blinding grin that didn't quite reach his eyes. Renjun didn't seem to notice, elbowing Jaemin in the side until he shifted over on the desk, leaving room for Renjun to sit down next to him. It was a tight fit, and Jaemin had to loop an arm around Renjun’s waist to stop them both falling sideways.</p><p> </p><p>“How are you feeling?” Renjun continued, blissfully unaware of the conversation he’d interrupted. Jaemin didn't look particularly upset, smiling down at where his fingers pressed gently into Renjun’s hip, but Donghyuck could see the slightly distant look in his eyes. Giving Renjun a lazy shrug, knowing that Renjun already had most of the details of his rollercoaster day off, he poked Jaemin’s knee with his index finger to get his attention.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, what were you saying before?” Jaemin blinked down at him. “It sounded important.” Jaemin’s gaze flicked from Donghyuck to Renjun so quickly he almost missed it, then he shook his head.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s nothing. It can wait.” He smiled again, and this time a little of his usual charm flared in his eyes. “I’m glad you’re feeling better, Hyuck.”</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>The morning passed quickly, in a blur of classes and students that Donghyuck did his best to navigate gracefully. He referred to Renjun’s crib sheet on his phone when he needed to, engaging in casual conversations with his classmates. He continued to drag random factoids about science and the arts from his mind, often surprising himself with their presence so much that he wondered how much of it was from him and how much was seeping through from the boy whose life he’d borrowed.</p><p> </p><p>Eventually, though, it was nearly lunchtime, and the teacher was asking the class who needed to leave early to help with the sign-up event. He almost missed the moment where he was meant to put his hand up, but one of the girls sitting next to him elbowed him hard in the arm until he realised what she wanted.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Choi Ji Soo. Aspiring ballerina. Three left feet. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Flashing her an appreciative smile, Donghyuck quickly collected his books, shoving them into his bag as he hurried to follow a wiry boy in huge, round glasses, who was already halfway out of the door. He imagined that the other boy was just as excited as he was to be able to escape class ten minutes early, to set up for their respective societies in the auditorium.</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck didn't know where the auditorium was, although he was starting to find the signs that hung above the hallways and stairwells easier to decipher day by day, and he didn't want to be late or get lost. Deciding to follow the other boy, who didn't make any attempt to wait for him or acknowledge his existence, he was forced to jog to catch up. </p><p> </p><p>It took a solid few minutes to reach their destination and, by the time they arrived, Donghyuck was out of breath. He supposed that the other Donghyuck wasn't as used to physical exercise as he was, but it was a little galling to be so tired from a simple jog. Just another thing he’d have to get used to, he guessed. He resolved to find the school gym at some point and get a few hours in. He could only imagine the look of horror on their trainer’s face if he could see him now.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyung. Hi.” Chenle appeared at his elbow, seemingly out of nowhere. Smiling up at Donghyuck, he gave the older boy a small wave. “I’m so excited to be helping out today. My mom said I should probably try to relax a bit, so I don’t freak you out, but I can’t help it.” When Donghyuck laughed, Chenle beamed, swiping a hand through his dark hair. “Just tell me if I get too annoying. I’ve been told I’m a bit noisy.”</p><p> </p><p>“A bit?” Donghyuck teased, but smiled so that Chenle knew he wasn't serious. Yes, the boy was noisy, and a lot more eager to help him than his Chenle would ever allow himself to be anymore, but it was endearing rather than annoying. He loved how happy the younger boy was to spend time with him. It warmed his heart, and he wouldn’t change it for the world.</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s go and find our table,” he suggested, pointing through the open double doors that led into the auditorium. From where they stood, Donghyuck could see several long, white tabletops lined up along one edge of the room and, as they stepped inside, he could see that the formation curved around the far wall and down the opposite side as well. There were around thirty tables, each with a large banner above them, announcing the society or school activity they were to house.</p><p> </p><p>“We’re over there, look.” Chenle pointed towards the far wall. Sure enough, two tables in from the corner hung a large banner with block letters that spelled out ‘Drama Society’. The cut-out letters were crude and angular, but the colours were bright and easy to read. It looked like something Donghyuck might have made himself, which he figured was entirely possible. For all he knew, he had made this last year or something. It wasn’t like he couldn’t ask anyone<span>—</span>Chenle definitely wouldn’t know<span>—</span>but it had the hallmarks of his artistic style, or lack thereof.</p><p> </p><p>When they reached their table, Donghyuck was surprised to see a small pile of flyers and decorations at the centre of the table, with a sticky note affixed to the top.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Enjoy, and thanks again for volunteering. :) </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>- X.D.J</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck rolled his eyes as he read it, tucking it into his back pocket. Chenle had already started in on the decorations, so he helped the enthusiastic freshman to set up their table, before making sure the sign-up sheets from Dejun were given pride of place in the centre. By that point, the auditorium had started to fill with fresh-faced students, wide-eyed and talking loudly amongst themselves as they stared out at the tables with interest, so he and Chenle quickly cleared up the mess that Chenle had made with the packaging from the decorations and prepared to greet them.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>“I’m a freshman too and I’m so excited about drama this year.” Donghyuck had heard Chenle repeat the same little speech at least fifty times at this point, but he had to admit that it was working. Not everyone who came to the table was signing up, but they’d had enough interest that they were well on their way down the second sheet of names. “Did you know that we’re doing a musical this year, for the first time in<span>—</span>”</p><p> </p><p>Focusing his attention back on the small group of girls he had been speaking to, he offered each of them a glossy flyer and pointed them towards the sign-up sheet. None of them wrote their names down, but he could see them whispering and glancing back at him as they left. He smiled at them and they giggled and hid behind their hair. Donghyuck shook his head in confusion and adjusted the dwindling stack of flyers, making sure they weren’t about to slide off the table onto the floor.</p><p> </p><p>“They seemed to like you, hyung,” Chenle told him, moving out from behind the table to stand next to the taller boy. “Everyone likes you. It must be nice to be that cool.” With a snort, Donghyuck looped an arm around Chenle’s shoulder, giving him a quick squeeze.</p><p> </p><p>“Hardly.” His fingers found Chenle’s hair and he ruffled it, still enjoying how the boy made no move to escape him or push him away. It was like pre-debut Chenle all over again, before he’d realised that it wasn’t cool or grown-up to let his hyungs to baby him whenever they had the chance. Donghyuck laughed again. “You’ve had so many sign-ups already. Everybody likes you too.”</p><p> </p><p>Chenle let out a half-hearted protest, but was interrupted by two new arrivals at their table. Jaemin gave them both a wave as he approached, before stepping aside to reveal a mortified-looking boy who had been hiding unsuccessfully behind him. Unsuccessful being the word, because the boy was already taller than him, although he was slimmer and far more sinewy than Jaemin was.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyuck-ah, this is<span>—</span>” Jaemin glanced from Donghyuck to Jisung and back, before settling his attention on Chenle. “What I mean to say is, uh, this is Jisung. I mentioned to you last week that he was joining the dance programme this year, and I remembered that you said you wanted to meet him.”</p><p> </p><p>That wasn't exactly how the conversation had gone but, as Donghyuck’s eyes swept Jisung’s face, with neat, wire-framed glasses and cheeks that were just starting to lose their baby fat, he couldn't help the smile that split his lips and exposed his teeth. As much as he wanted to ruffle that carefully styled mess of black hair, to see if he could make Jisung blush and squirm like he knew he probably would, he knew he needed to play it casual.</p><p> </p><p>“Nice to meet you, Jisung.” The boy in question waved awkwardly and mumbled a response that Donghyuck didn't need to understand. He remembered how painfully shy his youngest brother had been before he’d debuted, and how long it had taken him and the other Dreamies to extract him from his shell. He didn't want to spook the kid before he was ready.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t think I’ve met you yet,” Jaemin said quickly, sensing that the conversation wasn't going anywhere quickly. “I’m Jaemin.” He addressed Chenle, who flushed and bowed slightly. Donghyuck tried not to laugh at the surprised quirk of Jaemin’s lips, but the other boy regained his composure long enough to ask him his name.</p><p> </p><p>“Zhong Chenle,” he told Jaemin excitedly, then rounded on Jisung. “I think you’re in my geography class, Jisung-ah. That’s awesome. Do you want to be friends? We could have lunch together sometime.” Chenle beamed, and Jisung finally lifted his eyes from the ground to meet his gaze. He stared unwaveringly at the other boy for a long moment, as he seemed to consider his response carefully.</p><p> </p><p>“You talk too much.” He blinked once more and then walked away, leaving Chenle staring open-mouthed at his retreating back.</p><p> </p><p>Jaemin hesitated, torn between hurrying after Jisung and staying to speak to Donghyuck. He also seemed to be trying to communicate something with his eyes again, his expression urgent and his gaze expectant, but Donghyuck couldn't fathom what it might be. Jaemin glanced across to Chenle and then back to Donghyuck once more, before sighing in frustration.</p><p> </p><p>“We really do need to talk, Hyuck,” he said firmly, before hurrying off after Jisung, who was now perusing artwork on a table across the room, under a banner that proclaimed itself to belong to the ‘Calligraphy Club’. “ Soon. I’ll catch up with you later!”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, that was suitably awkward<span>—</span>” Donghyuck turned, freezing mid-sentence as he took in the hurt expression on Chenle’s face. The boy looked crestfallen, and his cheeks puffed out slightly as he pouted sadly. “What’s wrong?”</p><p> </p><p>“He didn’t like me very much,” Chenle said, his attention still on Jaemin and the boy he had just caught up with. They were talking quietly, Jisung shaking his head at Jaemin before fixing his gaze on the ground by the older boy’s feet. “What did I do wrong? Am I really that annoying?”</p><p> </p><p>“No,” Donghyuck told him firmly, shifting so that they could both no longer see the boy who was, in a reality far, far away, his best friend in the world, and pulled Chenle into a hug. “He’s just not used to you yet. He’ll come around.”</p><p> </p><p>“How do you know?” He didn't sound convinced.</p><p> </p><p>“Trust me,” he murmured into Chenle’s hair. “I have a feeling that you two will be good friends one day. Just give him some time.”</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>It was almost the end of lunch when Renjun finally made an appearance in the auditorium, as Donghyuck and Chenle were carefully rolling up the banner that they’d taken down from the wall above the table. Pitching in to help, he started to dispose of the decorations that now looked a bit worse for wear, Donghyuck silently pointing out a plastic bag that they were using for trash.</p><p> </p><p>“How did it go?” he asked Donghyuck, moving closer as he attempted to navigate the three layers of extra-strength tape that Chenle had welded a balloon to the corner of the table with. “Any interesting meetings I should know about?” The underlying meaning in his words was heavy and blatant. Unlike with Jaemin earlier, Donghyuck knew exactly what he was asking, without him actually having to say the words.</p><p> </p><p>“Jaemin introduced us to Jisung,” he replied, keeping his voice low and light, so that Chenle wouldn’t hear them from the other end of the table. “He didn't seem keen on me or Chenle though.” Renjun’s eyes narrowed, and Donghyuck knew he’d understood the significance of his words.</p><p> </p><p>“I didn't expect that.” Renjun thought for a moment. “Didn't you say they were close?”</p><p> </p><p>“Inseparable,” Donghyuck agreed. They both eyed Chenle for a moment but he didn't seem to notice their eyes on his back, as he picked up a flyer that had somehow ended up under the neighbouring table. “I’m hoping that it will happen naturally if I don’t interfere. They weren’t exactly thrown together naturally the first time<span>—</span>I mean, in my reality, they had no choice really, given their ages, but I believe in them. They’ll work it out.” He hoped he sounded convincing.</p><p> </p><p>“And if they don't?” Renjun glanced down at him, brown eyes probing his. “What then?”</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck didn't have an answer.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>“Mom, I’m home!” </p><p> </p><p>Dumping his backpack next to the door, Donghyuck kicked his shoes off and padded down the hall. He half expected her to be in the kitchen, which was where she seemed to spend most of her time, but he eventually found her on the sofa in the living room, newspaper in one hand and tea in the other. Sinking down next to her, he crossed his legs under him on the sofa.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry about last night,” he told her earnestly. Her car had been gone when he’d made his way downstairs that morning, and she’d left him a note to say that she was dropping Jaehyun back at college before work. He hadn't seen either of them since Jaehyun had left the kitchen suddenly, and he still felt awful about how everything had played out.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t worry about it, honey.” She put her nearly empty mug down on the coffee table and carefully folded the newspaper, setting it down in her lap. Reaching over, she took one of Donghyuck’s hands in both of hers, pulling it so that he leant into her. It was difficult to see her face from this position so he stared at their fingers instead, linking his with hers.</p><p> </p><p>“Is everything okay, Donghyuck-ah?” she asked after a moment.</p><p> </p><p>“Everything is fine. Why?”</p><p> </p><p>“You seem a little different lately, is all.” Donghyuck froze, heart plummeting into his gut as he struggled to keep his breathing even. She seemed to sense his unease and squeezed his hand reassuringly. “It’s okay.” One of her hands, the one not entangled with Donghyuck’s own, lifted to stroke his hair. “I know something is going on with you. I also know you probably don’t want me to interfere. Just know that I’m here, if you ever need me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks.” His voice came out as little more than a whisper, but he hoped she could hear the earnestness in his words. He cleared his throat. “Thank you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Always.” They sat in comfortable silence like that for a while, then she sighed and squeezed his hand. “I thought I should warn you that your brother is coming back again on Saturday afternoon. Your father will be home on Friday, and I told Jaehyun-ah that he needs to come for dinner on Saturday.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay,” Donghyuck said. “I’ll stay in my room, out of the way.”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t.” Shifting him against her so that she could look him in the eyes, she shook her head vehemently. “I don’t know what’s changed lately, but you… He misses you, honey. If you try talking to him, I<span>—</span>I’m sure you can fix things between the two of you.”</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck wasn't convinced<span>—</span>she hadn't seen the look in Jaehyun’s eyes yesterday, but he nodded. He already knew that he’d need to face this head-on at some point. He hadn't expected it to be quite so soon, but he had until Saturday to figure out what to say to Jaehyun to convince him to put years of animosity behind them. Three days. He had three days to salvage their relationship in this reality.</p><p> </p><p>He couldn't magically make Chenle and Jisung best friends. He couldn’t force Jaemin to spill whatever it was that he was so worked up about. He couldn’t suddenly locate the rest of his hyungs in this reality, or figure out how to approach Jeno without Renjun having a heart attack, but this was something he could do. This was something tangible. Approachable. Vital.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll do my best,” he promised.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So... Jaehyuck showdown... T-minus 3 days. The truth (at least about this pair) will be revealed in the next chapter or two. I think some of you have half-figured it out already, but I'd love to know what you think went down in the past between the brothers.</p><p>As always, have a wonderful day! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Two chapters in two days. I'm grateful it's shaping up to be a quieter week at work, because this chapter has been impatiently writing itself in my head all day. Jaehyuck will happen next chapter, but I know at least one of you has been waiting for this, so I hope I did it justice.</p><p>Also, 3k views already?! That's crazy. Thank you so much, and for all the comments and kudos. It really does mean the world to me! &lt;3</p><p>Side note: I'll be calling football 'soccer' in this fic. As a Brit, know that this physically pains me every single time, but the rest of the world disagrees with us on this one. You're welcome.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When he made it to the cafeteria on Thursday at lunch, Donghyuck quickly spotted Renjun and Jaemin. They sat together at a small, otherwise-empty table beneath a large window that looked out over the parking lot. The table was situated about as far away as was possible from the one that usually housed Donghyuck’s ever-present retinue, a choice he suspected wasn’t by accident. The sun streaming in behind them painted the pair with a rosy, warm glow, and he felt the urge to join them.</p><p> </p><p>He hesitated, torn between following Hyojin and the other Drama Society students to their table and doing what he really wanted to do, which was abandoning them without a second thought in favour of his brothers. Seeing his plight, the girl in question rolled her eyes at him but waved him away with a flick of her wrist, disappointed but not surprised anymore. He knew that all of these supposed friends of his were baffled by his sudden friendship with the two students well outside their social sphere, but he found he could muster very little guilt over his behaviour.</p><p> </p><p>None of them had dared to actually ask him why he was spending so much time with Renjun and Jaemin, and he hadn't offered up an explanation. It wasn't like they’d believe him anyway, so he was using his status as de facto Queen Bee<span>—</span>or whatever he was to them<span>—</span>to his advantage. Hiking his bag higher onto his shoulder, he hurried over to the far side of the cafeteria and sank down onto the bench next to Renjun.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, Hyuck.” Jaemin greeted him, not taking his eyes off the mound of food in front of him, but Renjun glanced up at the vibration caused by his heavy landing and offered him a smile.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you need help with the literature assignment?” the smaller boy said in greeting, before passing Donghyuck half of his sandwich. Taking it gratefully, he dug into his bag to retrieve his own lunch, offering it to Renjun to share in exchange.</p><p> </p><p>“How did you know?” he asked, as Renjun scooped out a spoonful of rice from Donghyuck’s Tupperware box and stuffed it into his mouth. Holding up a single index finger, Renjun indicated for him to wait as he swallowed.</p><p> </p><p>“Figured it was the first thing I’d forget how to do if<span>—</span>,” Renjun glanced across the table at Jaemin, who was watching them intently, “<span>—</span>you know.”</p><p> </p><p>“As it turns out,” Donghyuck said quickly, keen not to bring attention to how weird that sentence must have sounded to Jaemin, who was probably only just starting to get over the fact that he believed Donghyuck was delusional and made up fanciful stories about alternate realities<span>—</span>even if those stories were actually true. “I do need help. Thanks, Injunie.”</p><p> </p><p>Renjun flashed him a smile, holding out a hand. A moment later, Donghyuck dropped his Korean literature workbook into it, and Renjun tucked it away in his own bag. “Hey!” Jaemin muttered, frowning at the two of them across the tabletop. “Why do you do his homework and not mine?”</p><p> </p><p>“Because I like him,” Renjun spat, without any real bite to his words. “You just annoy me.” Donghyuck snorted with laughter, elbowing Renjun lightly. Jaemin joined in after a few seconds of silence, but Donghyuck caught the genuinely hurt look that crossed his face before he did so. He knew Renjun didn’t mean what he’d said, but he made a mental note to suggest that Renjun was a little nicer to the younger boy, before he went too far with his teasing at some point.</p><p> </p><p>“Whatever.” Jaemin turned his attention back to the sugar-heavy snack pack in his hands, their previous conversation forgotten for the time being. “So, are you going to the game tonight, Renjun-ah?” His words were light, but Donghyuck noticed that his fingers were pale as they gripped the small, plastic tub a little too firmly.</p><p> </p><p>“What game?” Donghyuck asked, glancing between Renjun and Jaemin. He took a bite of his sandwich, happy to find that Renjun<span>—</span>or more likely, Renjun’s mom<span>—</span>had made his favourite. He wondered if that was a coincidence, but that seemed unlikely. He took another bite. He’d have to thank her at some point soon, once Renjun finally got around to telling her that they were friends again. He hoped she wouldn’t hold the past against him for too long, once she found out.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, I forgot about that,” Renjun said, pressing a pair of fingers to each of his temples and massaging forcefully. “The soccer team has its first friendly game tonight. The season hasn’t started yet, but some local schools organise a small tournament at the start of each school year, to let their players practice ahead of the main league.” Donghyuck frowned at him, wondering why he hadn’t heard about this, even in passing. “You didn’t ever go to any of the games last year, so I forgot to ask you if you wanted to go.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh.” Donghyuck scratched at the sensitive skin at the nape of his neck with a fingernail, shrugging dismissively. “I understand.”</p><p> </p><p>“Do you<span>—</span>? Do you want to go?” Jaemin asked, talking to Donghyuck but still watching Renjun. “I was going to ask you if you wanted to go with me, Renjun-ah.” His gaze flicked to Donghyuck for a second, before returning to the older boy’s face. “We could all go together if you want. I guess…”</p><p> </p><p>“If that’s not a problem?” Donghyuck got the feeling that Jaemin had planned on it just being the two of them, and he wondered exactly how much he would be interfering if he tagged along, but Renjun didn't seem to notice the awkward exchange or the loaded looks Jaemin was shooting both of them.</p><p> </p><p>“Why would it be?” Renjun said loudly, startling a girl reading a book at the table behind him. “The more the merrier.” Jaemin grimaced but said nothing, and Donghyuck sent him an apologetic look when Renjun wasn't looking. He knew that look, had seen in the mirror too many times. If he was right, he had a sinking feeling that this was not something he was going to be able to help Jaemin with. Not for the first time in the past few days, he wondered just how unobservant a person could really be. At least this time, it wasn't Donghyuck who was being completely clueless about other people’s feelings.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>The game that evening was due to start several hours earlier than normal midweek games, but it was already starting to get dark as the three of them left the school library, where Renjun had ended up doing three sets of literature homework after all. They headed for the small stadium-slash-farmer’s field where most of the school’s sports teams held their games and events throughout the year, walking shoulder to shoulder along a path that was just a bit too narrow to comfortably accommodate three. As they got close, passing by an unmanned ticket booth, Donghyuck could see that the field had been crudely marked up with white lines to resemble a soccer pitch. Renjun assured him that it would look more professional once the season began properly, but some hastily smudged out markings in the middle gave away that the field had recently doubled as a baseball diamond.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s usually free to go to all the games,” Renjun told Donghyuck, pointing at the ticket booth as they passed it. “I don’t really even know why they have that. We only pay if they make it to the final championships, which hasn’t happened in years.” He shrugged. “I guess there’s no harm in being optimistic.”</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s sit over there,” Jaemin told them, pointing towards the small tiered seating area that stretched along the length of the pitch, where the grass of the field met concrete and gravel. There was a similar stand on the opposite side of the field, which butted up next to a small, low concrete structure that Donghyuck thought was probably a changing room. Both stands were metal and wood structures, with enough plastic bucket seats to seat maybe a hundred people on each. He’d never seen a spectator section so small<span>—</span>the ones at his school in Seoul had been ten times this big at least<span>—</span>but then this was a very small town, from what Donghyuck had seen so far.</p><p> </p><p>“I<span>—</span>” Renjun hesitated, his eyes on the stand on the opposite side of the field. A narrow strip of gravel snaked around the edge of the field, allowing people to walk easily between the stands, and Donghyuck could see a few dozen people already seated at intervals along the stand on the far side. The near side stand boasted a few more people, but not by a lot. “I usually sit on the other side, near the clubhouse,” he said softly, but didn't protest as they followed Jaemin up into the near stand. He excitedly chose a section near the middle, pulling Renjun down next to him by the forearm. Donghyuck pressed in on Renjun’s other side, shifting to make himself comfortable on the smooth plastic seat.</p><p> </p><p>“So, you come to every game, huh?” Donghyuck whispered into Renjun’s ear. They were watching the teams start their warmups on the field below them, and he hadn’t missed the way Renjun had leant forward in his seat when the clubhouse door had opened, the players making their way onto the pitch.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” Renjun murmured, face mostly obscured by the large coat and scarf that he was wearing over his uniform. Donghyuck hadn't wanted to go home to get one, as it wasn't a particularly cold day this deep into autumn, but with the sun fading quickly there was a definite bite to the air. “I try to make them all, unless I’m busy at home or something.”</p><p> </p><p>“And I suppose that has absolutely nothing to do with…” He paused as he spotted a familiar face exiting the clubhouse, a pair of boots swinging from the laces fisted in the hand at his side. “...number eleven over there?” Renjun’s cheeks flushed pink, or the part still visible above the scarf did, and Donghyuck smirked.</p><p> </p><p>“Shut up.”</p><p> </p><p>Lee Jeno, if that was possible, looked exactly the same as Donghyuck’s Jeno. Well, not Donghyuck’s<span>—</span>never mind. He shook that thought out of his head as quickly as it had entered. </p><p> </p><p>This Jeno was clearly younger, as they all were here, but the sharp planes of his face and the strong nose and brows were mature ahead of his time. Donghyuck had always been envious of Jeno as a trainee, for how the younger boy had quickly begun to resemble an adult while Hyuck was still struggling not to stress about acne and baby fat, but he was grateful for that side of Jeno now. The boy looked almost identical to the Jeno he’d had lunch with less than two weeks ago in the SM building and, although it made the homesick part of Donghyuck flip around in his chest manically, the visual connection was comforting.</p><p> </p><p>“What are you two whispering about over there?” Jaemin asked, dropping his chin onto Renjun’s shoulder, pouting slightly at Donghyuck. Renjun didn't push him off, to Donghyuck’s surprise, but he did take the bait, effortlessly engaging the younger boy in a hushed argument over why it was rude to poke one’s nose in where it wasn’t wanted.</p><p> </p><p>“I just asked a question,” Jaemin shot back and Renjun twisted in his seat, facing him fully. Jaemin grinned widely, and Donghyuck didn't even want to guess why arguing with Renjun was making him happy. That was too much mental gymnastics for one day. He was sure it wasn’t a good idea to let them continue but both his friends were temporarily distracted, so he turned his attention back to Jeno.</p><p> </p><p>The boy had just finished tying the laces on his boots, kneeling in the grass between the clubhouse and the far spectator stand. As Donghyuck watched, he stopped what he was doing and turned his head slowly, peering behind him into the stand. Jeno’s body twisted slightly as he appeared to scan the small crowd of people. He repeated the motion twice more, before tugging on his already tightened laces and standing up. He had a sad little frown on his face as he walked away, but he headed onto the pitch and quickly joined a group of boys running sprints.</p><p> </p><p>“What is he doing?” Donghyuck muttered to himself, as he watched Jeno sneak several more surreptitious glances into the crowd when his teammates were otherwise occupied. Each time, Donghyuck saw the expression on his face shift from hopeful to disappointed until, eventually, he stopped looking.</p><p> </p><p>“What did you say, Hyuck?” Renjun tucked an arm around his waist, pulling him closer. “I didn't hear you properly.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s nothing,” he said quickly, not sure if what he’d seen was worth repeating. It seemed like it was something private, a moment that Jeno hadn’t wanted any of his teammates to witness, so Donghyuck felt a little like a voyeur for having watched him so intently.</p><p> </p><p>“Come on,” Jaemin whined, reaching around Renjun to poke him in the cheek. He missed, nearly poking Renjun’s eye out, and the older boy actually growled at him. Jaemin visibly deflated, tucking his arms around himself. “Sorry. I just wanted to know what he said.”</p><p> </p><p>“So did I,” Renjun agreed, fixing Donghyuck with a stare that demanded answers. Powerless against him, Donghyuck huffed and explained what he’d said and what he’d seen. “I’m sure it was nothing,” Renjun told him, glancing down at Jeno again, who was now kicking a ball back and forth with one of his teammates and laughing at something the other boy was saying. “He does that before every game.”</p><p> </p><p>“How’d you know?” Jaemin asked, following their gaze until they were all three watching Jeno. “I’ve never noticed him do that before.”</p><p> </p><p>“I just do,” Renjun told him, expression hardening into a scowl. He twisted to give Jaemin the cold shoulder and leaned into Donghyuck, resting his cheek on his shoulder. His body heat was nice, so Donghyuck pulled him closer, nestling his chin into Renjun’s hair.</p><p> </p><p>“He’s probably just looking for someone anyway,” Jaemin said irritably, slumping down further in his seat on Renjun’s other side. “Girlfriend. Boyfriend. Who cares?” On the field, a whistle blew and the players started to gather in the middle of the pitch, splitting off into two distinct teams. Donghyuck figured one was a different school, although they’d all been warming up together and he didn't have much idea who was who aside from Jeno. The uniforms looked almost identical to his eye, at this distance.</p><p> </p><p>“I do.” It was barely a whisper, too low for Jaemin to hear, but Donghyuck felt the soft gust of warm air as Renjun’s lips moved close to his skin. “I care.” He didn't respond, hugging the smaller boy into him instead. He knew Renjun cared. The older boy had admitted as much to him. He also knew that Renjun’s feelings weren’t the only ones involved here. As he watched Jeno move to his position on the far side of the pitch, he suspected that this situation was a lot more complicated than any of them realised.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Several ships are on their way out of the harbour, whether they realise it yet or not...</p><p>Opinions? Questions? Feel free to let me know below.</p><p>Anyway, as always, have a wonderful day! :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Today, I bring you not one but two chapters, back-to-back. I promised you JaeHyuck, and it took a bit longer to get through than I intended. I really didn't want to leave you hanging, because I hate breaking my promises, so I'll be posting Chapter 13 immediately after this one.</p><p>Anyway, prepare yourself for the mother of all angst in these next pair. I'm not guaranteeing that you'll need a tissue handy, but I did. Twice. Fair warning...</p><p>Enjoy! &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Friday came and went in a daze, Donghyuck almost sleep-walking through it as he watched the hours tick by, time marching inescapably toward Saturday afternoon. He hadn’t figured out what he was going to do about his Jaehyun-shaped problem yet, and he was running out of time. He didn't see much of his friends doing the day, with another Drama Society meeting during lunch and his mind becoming distracted by thoughts of the weekend whenever anyone tried to engage him in conversation.</p><p> </p><p>Jaemin made several more frustratingly vague references to needing to speak to him, but every time he was usurped by Renjun appearing, which had him clamming up faster than the zipper he constantly played with on his jacket pocket. Donghyuck eventually told him to just call him on Sunday, rather than have to watch him gnaw on his bottom lip when he failed to evade hurricane-Renjun yet again.</p><p> </p><p>Renjun seemed to understand his nerves and deliberately kept the mood light, finding him<span>—</span>and by extension, Jaemin, hence the younger boy’s constant frustration<span>—</span>in the halls or outside the drama studio at lunch, just to hug him and make him smile. Donghyuck appreciated the effort, but he was relieved when the day came to an end and he was finally able to climb into his car and head home.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you want company tomorrow?” Renjun asked as they left the building together. He considered it for a few minutes, during which time Jaemin caught up with them, complaining loudly that they had left him behind. Renjun ignored him, focused instead on Donghyuck, who shook his head and gave him what he hoped was a reassuring smile.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll be fine,” he insisted, pulling his keys out of his jacket pocket and flipping them over in his hands a few times. He saw the entirely unconvinced expression on Renjun’s face and patted his phone, nestled in the pocket directly above his heart. “I’ll text you if I need anything, okay?”</p><p> </p><p>“Why would he<span>—</span>?” Renjun clamped a hand firmly over Jaemin’s mouth and dragged him away. He heard the older boy promising to buy him a coffee if he stopped talking, which seemed to appease Jaemin as they walked away from him towards Renjun’s car on the other side of the lot. He smiled at their retreating figures, before closing the small distance between him and the peace and quiet of his car’s interior.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>When he woke the next day, Donghyuck didn't hurry to get out of bed, luxuriating in the feeling of not having anything pressing that demanded his attention<span>—</span>other than the elephant in the room, which still sat squarely on his chest, threatening to suffocate him to death. He’d spent all of Friday night getting all of his homework done for the following week, with an occasional call or message to Renjun to make use of both his superior intellect and superior internet speed.</p><p> </p><p>He hadn't wanted to worry about anything other than Jaehyun today, which was a good plan in theory, until he remembered that his brother wasn't due to arrive until the afternoon. That left him a good few hours to stress over his lack of a solid strategy, and to worry that he was going to somehow make things worse between them. He let himself doze for another hour, despite the way the sunlight streamed in and hit him straight in the face but eventually he could avoid the world no longer.</p><p> </p><p>Making his way downstairs, he found his mom in the kitchen, humming softly to herself as she cooked breakfast for his dad, who was tapping away at his laptop in an armchair in the living room. He’d met the man for the first time last night, when he’d arrived home halfway through dinner, but the softly-spoken, middle-aged man had immediately put him at ease with the affectionate way he greeted first his wife and then Donghyuck.</p><p> </p><p>He got the feeling, from the deliberately vague questions he had fielded during the rest of the meal, that his father in this reality was away a lot, and didn't really know a whole lot about either of his sons<span>—</span>which was further evidenced when he asked Donghyuck when he was next going to see Jaehyun in the dorms, to which his mom had shaken her head imperceptibly, a panicked look in her eyes. He’d taken the hint, subtly brushing off the question to ask about his business trip, and she had visibly relaxed as the topic of conversation moved away from Jaehyun.</p><p> </p><p>His father would be no help in figuring out the mystery of his relationship with his brother, Donghyuck had realised quickly. He hadn’t questioned the dynamic with his mom further, but he got the impression that the family behaved very differently around the patriarch than they did normally. He just hoped that he wouldn’t do anything to ruin that when Jaehyun was there.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you want breakfast, honey?” Surprising him out of his thoughts, a plate was pushed onto the kitchen table near where he stood, before a gentle, warm hand stroked his hair affectionately. “Sit and eat, before it goes cold.” She took a plate next door for his dad, and then sat with him as he ate, the only other noise in the room filtering in through the open kitchen window.</p><p> </p><p>After clearing the table and helping her wash up, showing his appreciation physically even as she inevitably waved away his verbal thanks, he headed back up to his room and read over his English essay for a third time. It wasn’t necessary, as he had a much wider vocabulary in the language now than he could have ever dreamed of having in high school<span>—</span>thanks largely to touring with Mark, Johnny and, of course, Jaehyun<span>—</span>but it gave him something to focus on as he waited down the clock.</p><p> </p><p>A few minutes past noon, he heard a car pull up outside. Rushing over to the window, he sighed when he realised it was just their neighbour across the street returning home. He watched a woman carry a small child from the car into the house, smiling as the baby giggled and dropped toys all over the driveway behind them as they moved. The woman passed the child to an elderly woman standing in the open doorway, presumably the child’s grandmother, before scrambling to pick up all the discarded plastic.</p><p> </p><p>“See you on Monday, hyung.” Donghyuck hadn't even noticed the small, black sedan pull up across his driveway, distracted as he had been by the family living opposite. He snapped back to attention as he recognised Jaehyun’s voice, glancing down just in time to see his brother slamming closed the passenger door, waving to someone inside. Donghyuck squinted, trying to see through the small gap at the top of the barely open window, but he thought the voice that answered sounded a lot like someone he knew.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t miss us too much.” The black car drove off quickly, not giving Jaehyun a chance to respond. He simply chucked instead, waving again at the retreating dark speck, before turning to walk up the driveway. As he did so, Jaehyun glanced up at Donghyuck’s open window, the two making eye contact for a split second before Donghyuck ducked behind the curtain to his left.</p><p> </p><p>As he moved, Donghyuck knew how ridiculous he was acting, hiding from Jaehyun when his car was clearly parked on the driveway beside a long silver monstrosity he assumed belonged to their father. Jaehyun would have known he was there soon enough anyway, if he hadn’t already figured it out, and yet, as they caught sight of each other, he couldn’t help the panic and fear that bubbled up in his chest. He hoped that the older man didn't think he’d been eavesdropping<span>—</span>even if that was, honestly, what he’d been planning on doing when he’d first headed for the window.</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck stayed in his room for nearly twenty minutes after that, lying on his bed and listening to the soft bustle of cars and people passing on the street outside, coupled with the low rumble of voices from his family below him. He could easily make out the sound of his mom’s voice, the timbre lighter and softer, but he wasn’t sure if the other sounds he could hear were one or two voices<span>—</span>Jaehyun and their dad, or just one of them.</p><p> </p><p>Eventually, he psyched himself up enough to leave his room, pacing quietly out to the staircase as he mentally fortified himself for the conversation he knew he needed to have. He didn't know if his mother would want to be present for it, wasn't sure if he wanted her there or not, if he was honest, but it was better to get it over with sooner rather than later. If he left it too long, he knew he’d chicken out, and that just wasn’t an acceptable option.</p><p> </p><p>“Eomma, why is he here?” Donghyuck froze, leg dangling in free space above the next stair down. He grabbed at the handrail for balance and listened intently, noting the bitter bite to Jaehyun’s words as he spoke barely loud enough to Donghyuck to hear.</p><p> </p><p>“I told you, your father wanted to see both of you today,” their mom said, matching Jaehyun’s volume. She sounded calm, but Donghyuck wasn't convinced. He knew how much today meant to her, to both of them. “I asked him to be here.” A half-truth, he thought, as his brother scoffed, the sound carrying a little more this time. He hoped it wasn't loud enough to be heard from the living room.</p><p> </p><p>“It never stopped him from being conveniently absent before. It wasn't so bad, when he made sure he was out with his friends whenever I came home but, lately, it seems like he’s here all the time.” Their mother let out a soft hum of discomfort, but Jaehyun continued undeterred. “I’m almost never home anymore anyway, thanks to <em> him </em> , and now he’s messing up the little time I get to spend with you. It’s like he’s <em> trying </em> to ruin everything.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s not fair, baby,” Donghyuck heard her say, but he didn't stick around to listen to more. He stumbled as he turned and scrambled back up the stairs, smacking his knee hard into one of the wooden panels that lined the walls on either side of the staircase before bolting for his room. He had just enough sense left to shut the door gently, instead of slamming it like he wanted to, before he was diving under his covers, curling up into a tight ball against his mattress.</p><p> </p><p>He heard a loud noise echo up from downstairs, followed by several raised voices, but, when no one stormed upstairs to yell at him for listening in to something he shouldn’t have, he prayed that he’d somehow gotten away undetected. It was a wholly foolish hope, he knew that, but he didn't think he could survive it if they knew he’d heard them talking about him. He couldn't take the shame, or the pain that suddenly threatened to crush him from all angles.</p><p> </p><p>He stayed in the foetal position, tears slowly soaking into the sheets below his cheek, until it was time for dinner. A loud knock had him flinching away from the sound, heart hammering in his chest, but the quiet, sad voice that called to him through the door left him with little choice. His dad expected a family of four downstairs for dinner, even though Donghyuck would rather throw himself out of the window than go anywhere near any of the people downstairs.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll be there in a minute,” he muttered, scrubbing a hand over his damp face. He heard slow footsteps shuffling away from his door, waiting until she started down the stairs before he emerged from under the covers. Taking a quick detour to the bathroom, he knew he’d look like a mess even before he saw his reflection, but the salt-encrusted tear tracks across his nose and down one cheek were worse than he could have imagined.</p><p> </p><p>He quickly wiped them away, unable to do much for his red-rimmed eyes and puffy skin, then headed downstairs, sliding into his seat without a word to the three people awaiting him. He kept his face bowed, hoping his hair would hide the worst of his shame, but he felt several pairs of eyes on him.</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry I’m late,” he whispered, glancing up through the strands of inky hair to see that, as expected, his mom’s eyes were darting from him to his brother and back, face pinched and lips tightly pressed together. His father was watching him curiously, head tilted slightly to one side. Jaehyun, however, stoically stared at the wall above their mom’s head, fist clenched at his side as he sat next to Donghyuck. All in all, it was the tensest moment Donghyuck could recall in a long time, and he would have rejoiced if the ground had chosen that moment to open up and swallow him whole.</p><p>
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</p><p>“Let’s eat, huh?” Her small smile was forced, the tone far too high-pitched and thin to be genuine, but the woman seated on his other side made quick work of serving out food to the rest of them, passing out side dishes at a speed that would normally have made his food-loving head spin. He saw his father temporarily lose interest in the other people at the table, accepting a large bowl of kimchi from Jaehyun with a smile, and Donghyuck forced himself to take a breath or risk passing out.</p><p> </p><p>It helped, so he took another. Then he took a third, the oxygen passing to his brain and easing some of the tension inside his body. He just needed to keep breathing, he told himself. Keep breathing and then, eventually, this would be over. A finite number of breaths and this meal would end.</p><p> </p><p>They all ate quickly, even the clueless man who unknowingly found himself adrift in the sea of tension around him, asking inane questions of his wife and sons whenever his mouth wasn't fun. He didn't seem to notice the lack of enthusiasm in each answer, or the way that nobody else at the table said a word without being spoken to first. When it was his turn, Donghyuck struggled to muster up the energy to explain the musical he was meant to be planning with Dejun, especially considering how distracted he’d been in the meeting the previous day.</p><p> </p><p>“You’ll be directing it then, I guess?” his dad asked, tone demanding an answer. He heard Jaehyun let out a tiny sigh as he attempted to inhale his rice faster than was entirely natural, and Donghyuck forced himself to remain outwardly unaffected. It wasn't working, but that didn't stop him trying.</p><p> </p><p>“I was thinking of trying out for one of the leads, actually,” he answered, talking to the table below him more than at the question asker. “I haven’t decided yet.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re not a singer, Donghyuck-ah.” He stiffened at the words, spoken kindly but carelessly, and his mother’s hand clamped down hard onto his knee. He wasn’t sure why she did it, but the gesture was grounding and he quickly twined his fingers with hers. “You shouldn’t waste your time with auditions, if you know you won’t make it.”</p><p> </p><p>“If you’ll excuse me...” He had been about to speak, to correct his father and let him know just how wrong he was, when Jaehyun pushed up from the table, chair rocking backwards with a soft thud. “I have some work I need to do for class on Monday. I’ll be in my room.” Leaving an empty bowl and an even emptier void where he’d been sat, Donghyuck watched as he strode to the doorway and disappeared. The telltale creak of a door opening and closing upstairs let them know that he’d been true to his word, and then silence fell again.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll start clearing up,” his mother announced to the room, and then she was out of her seat and bustling around the kitchen like she needed to make herself busy somehow. Donghyuck didn't blame her; he finished his own food quickly, even though it tasted like dirt to him now, while the man sat across from him helped himself to more chicken. A few minutes later, he too excused himself to the living room, citing his own work that was not yet finished, leaving Donghyuck alone with his mother.</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t do it, eomma.” At first, there was no answer. He half-expected not to receive one at all, but then she was by his side, arms wrapping around his shoulders so tightly he wasn't sure he’d be able to breathe. He wasn't sure he wanted to. He just wanted to escape from this reality for a few seconds, to no longer have to deal with the pain that an unfathomable version of himself had wrought on the people close him, so he clung to her, eyes squeezing shut around the tears that threatened to fall.</p><p> </p><p>“I know it’s hard, honey,” she told him softly, letting him fall apart in her arms. “I might not be able to do it for you, but I’m here.” His breath hitched and he bit his lip to avoid his cries reaching the living room or beyond. She rocked him, pulling him with her onto her chair, their limbs tangling together inextricably. “He loves you. He might be angry, and he might be afraid, but he loves you.”</p><p> </p><p>“He doesn’t,” Donghyuck insisted, leaning back just enough to swipe the palm of his hand across his eyes. “We both heard him earlier.” It wasn't worth denying the facts anymore. All of them, except the blissfully ignorant stranger in the living room, knew that he’d heard every word. “He <em> hates </em> me.”</p><p> </p><p>“No, Donghyuck-ah.” She took his face in her hands, tilting it up so that she could look him in the eyes. “He doesn’t hate you. He’s just hurting.”</p><p> </p><p>“How do you know?” He couldn’t help the painful tremor of hope that passed through him at the unwavering certainty in her voice. He had heard Jaehyun’s harsh, angry words with his own ears, yet he wanted so desperately for her to be right. “How could you know?”</p><p> </p><p>“Mothers just know.” She wiped at his tears again, thumbs firm but soothing. “He could never hate you.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I know you're probably going to immediately skip straight on to Chapter 13 after you read this, so promise me you'll consider letting me know how you feel at the end of that one. The comments section of this one will miss you all, but it's worth it.</p><p>As always, have a wonderful day. :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Just a quick note to say that I published Chapters 12 and 13 back-to-back today, for reasons I explained in the previous chapter. I know that notifications sometimes get mixed up so, if you haven't read the first half of the JaeHyuck showdown, skip back one and catch up.</p><p>If you're up to speed, continue on... see you at the end. :)</p><p>*Suggested Chapter 13 Title: The one in which the author emotionally tortures two of her biases for the enjoyment of others. (Oops!)*</p><p>P.S. AU Hyuck is a real asshole, but he's not all bad. One day, you might get to see that (maybe)!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Hyung?”</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck waited, listening to the faint strains of the lo-fi music that drifted out from under the door. He’d knocked once, with no answer, but he knew that Jaehyun had heard him. He knocked again, and this time he heard a distant crash, as though something had been knocked over on the far side of his brother’s room.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyung, we need to talk.”</p><p> </p><p>“Leave me alone, Donghyuck.” That was progress, he thought, as he heard the music cut out abruptly. There was no other movement beyond the closed door, so he didn't expect to be invited in any time soon, but the door swung open with a low creak as he turned the handle himself. He hesitated in the hallway, taking in the dimly lit room before him, but reminded himself of the world-class pep talk he’d just received downstairs.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> He could never hate you. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>How he hoped that was true. Taking a deep breath, he padded into the dark room slowly. “I just want to talk,” he whispered, then jumped as a shadowy figure shifted in the far corner. He almost fled in fear until a lamp flared in the gloom, illuminating a small wooden desk with a large, black office chair in front of it. Said office chair was currently home to the man he’d come to see, who had spun around to face him as he spoke.</p><p> </p><p>“Get out.” There was the animosity he was expecting, in the gruff tone and the stiff set of his brother’s jaw, but he refused to kowtow this time. It might not turn out how he wanted it to, but this was happening. He had to know the truth, no matter how awful.</p><p> </p><p>“No, hyung.” Donghyuck swallowed nervously, taking another step forward. “I’m sorry for just barging in, but I think this is long overdue.” That was bending the truth to its limits, given his situation, but he knew that it was true for one of them. He wasn't the only one that would be affected by the aftermath of this, after all. “I promise, if you just talk to me for a few minutes, I’ll leave.”</p><p> </p><p>He didn't know what made Jaehyun agree, whether it was the fresh tear tracks on his face from his heart-to-heart with their mother, or the way his fingers gripped his shirt for dear life but, finally, he nodded. “Fine.” He gestured to the bed in the middle of the room and Donghyuck moved quickly, sinking onto it and crawling across to the opposite side, so that they sat just a few feet from one another.</p><p> </p><p>“I<span>—</span>I don’t know how to s<span>—</span>start,” he said quickly, tongue tripping over the words in his anxiousness to get them out. Jaehyun actually laughed at that, although the sound was flat and lifeless.</p><p> </p><p>“Why are you here, Hyuck?” Donghyuck’s heart leapt a little at hearing the conjunction of his name fall from his brother’s lips. Jaehyun must have seen the hopeful look that crossed his face, because he leant back in the office chair, half his handsome face disappearing into shadow. “I’m too tired to deal with psychological games today, Donghyuck.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not playing a game.” The older man grunted, but said nothing in response. “I<span>—</span>Jaehyunie-hyung.” He couldn’t miss the flinch that followed that, but he pressed on. “Why do you hate me so much?”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you kidding me?!” Pushing up out of his chair, Jaehyun started to stride towards the door, away from Donghyuck. The younger boy reached out, grabbing his arm at the wrist, halting his movements.</p><p> </p><p>“Wait!” Jaehyun turned back and fixed him with an icy glare, half-visible thanks to the lamp that sat between Donghyuck’s back and the wall behind him. “I know you’re going to think I’m crazy, but I need you to answer me. What happened between us?”</p><p> </p><p>“What<span>—</span>?” Jaehyun spluttered, shaking free from Donghyuck’s grip but, thankfully, pacing back over to the chair that spun lazily in his absence. He didn't sit down, but gripped the headrest forcefully, staring down at the boy who was again trying to will the bed to swallow him whole. “Are you telling me you really don’t remember? Donghyuck, of all the cruel things you’ve said to me over the years, this is by far the worst.”</p><p> </p><p>For another agonisingly long moment, neither of them spoke. Donghyuck was unable to tear his gaze from Jaehyun’s, and the air between them grew so thick with tension that it was getting hard to breathe. He couldn't even blink, scared that Jaehyun would disappear or try to run again. It was nothing short of a miracle that he had stayed this long. That had to count for something.</p><p> </p><p>“Please?” There was no way that he could tell Jaehyun that he couldn’t remember, that he would never be able to remember, but he had to know. This time he knew that it was the pain in his voice that stirred something in his brother, Jaehyun’s eyes sparking with a similar ache as he folded himself heavily back into his chair.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m just doing what you asked me to, Donghyuck.” The words were loud, almost shouted at him, but the voice behind them was shaky and wrecked. The older man slumped down, resting his forearms on his knees as he stared into Donghyuck’s eyes. “You asked me to leave, and so I did.”</p><p> </p><p>“I<span>—</span>what?”</p><p> </p><p>“You heard me, Donghyuck. Three years ago, you told me you wished I’d never been born.” Donghyuck let out an anguished gasp, but Jaehyun wasn’t done. Something akin to a dam had broken in the man, and all Donghyuck could do was hold on tight and hope he wasn't swept away. “‘I’d be so much happier without you in my life, hyung,’” Jaehyun parroted, in a pale imitation of Donghyuck’s own voice. “All I’ve ever wanted was for you to be happy, Hyuck. If giving up my little brother was what it took to give him that, I’d do it in a heartbeat.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hyung.” A single tear hovered at the corner of Jaehyun’s eye, but he swiped it away before it could fall. “I didn't<span>—</span>”</p><p> </p><p>“So I did. I did everything I could to help you, to give you what you wanted.” It was as though there was no stopping Jaehyun, now that he’d started. “I call mom every single time, before I come home, to give you a chance to avoid me. I don’t stay any longer than I have to, in case you come home early. I even moved out, went to live on campus, just so you wouldn’t have to see me every day.” His eyes were mercifully still dry<span>—</span>Donghyuck couldn’t recall ever having seen his stoic hyung, Jaehyun, cry before<span>—</span>but Donghyuck was already struggling to see through the condensation clinging to his own glasses. “I don’t know what else you want from me, Hyuck. I’ve already given you everything.”</p><p> </p><p>“God, hyung, you must think I’m a monster.” There was so much more he wanted to say, so many ways to apologise, but it was like he was seeing everything from high above, as the action played out before his eyes. He hated seeing one of the people he loved in pain, but this wasn't a pain of his making. He wasn't the Donghyuck who’d said those things, no matter how much he wanted to understand, and he didn't have a clue how to go about rebuilding a relationship with this Jaehyun. He couldn't imagine anyone forgiving him for a betrayal like that, even if it wasn't him who had actually wielded the sword.</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t take back what I said to you,” he offered. Someone who didn't remember his actions couldn't properly atone for them, but he had to try. “I can’t make this right, but I’m sorry for it, hyung. For all of it. I’m sorry that<span>—</span>” he hesitated, before deciding that he needed to take ownership. Jaehyun wouldn't understand the distinction between him and the other Hyuck, and Donghyuck wouldn't ever be able to tell him. “<span>—</span>I’m sorry that I hurt you.”</p><p> </p><p>“You can.” Frowning in confusion, he looked up to see Jaehyun watching him intently. His body was still tense, but there was a trace of openness that hadn’t been there before.</p><p> </p><p>“What?”</p><p> </p><p>“You can take it back.” He must have looked as clueless as he felt, because Jaehyun sighed, sounding more exhausted than Donghyuck had ever heard him sound. “You can take back every single word, right now. Just<span>—</span>just tell me that you don’t hate me anymore.” He sounded so young, so lost in that moment that Donghyuck had to force himself not to launch himself into Jaehyun’s arms. As much as it would make him feel better, it wouldn’t help Jaehyun, which was the most important thing in the world right now.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t hate you, hyung.” As he said the words, he knew that they were true. More than just true for him, he knew deep in his soul that they rang true for both of the Donghyucks who had been Jaehyun’s brother. “I’ve never, ever hated you.”</p><p> </p><p>He had no way of knowing why the other him had said such awful things<span>—</span>the only one who could answer that question was missing right now, lost to the vastness of the universe<span>—</span>but he knew that there was no way that he had truly hated the man in front of him, any more than this Donghyuck did. The selfless, beautiful human slumped over in his oversized office chair had a brother who loved him<span>—</span>had two brothers who loved him. Donghyuck refused to believe otherwise.</p><p> </p><p>“I miss you so much, Hyuckie.” Jaehyun’s voice hitched, thickness collecting deep in his vocal cords, and Donghyuck couldn't help himself this time. He pushed off the bed and crashed into Jaehyun’s chest. He sensed the hesitation, the moment of stillness in the body below him, before Jaehyun’s arms came up to wrap around him, pressing him into his skin like he wanted to absorb him.</p><p> </p><p>“I miss you too, hyung.” This time, it was the real Donghyuck speaking wishing more than one brother could hear his words. This wasn't the self-assured, confident hyung who had helped raise him, the consummate professional performer who could fill a concert hall with a single smile, but he missed this man with every fragment of his being anyway. He pressed closer, enjoying how small he felt in Jaehyun’s arms. Teenage Hyuck hadn’t outgrown this kind of hug yet, not in this reality. He’d forgotten how much he missed them. “I miss you so much.”</p><p> </p><p>Neither of them spoke for a long time, so long that Donghyuck managed to stop crying and started falling asleep against Jaehyun’s chest. His eyelids were just beginning to droop, limbs feeling like lead, when Jaehyun stroked a strand of hair away from his face gently.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyuck-ah?” He hummed in response, not wanting to move yet. He was afraid that Jaehyun would push him away again, and he didn't think he could take it. “Is this some sort of joke?”</p><p> </p><p>“What do you mean?” he mumbled.</p><p> </p><p>“I really don’t know what’s going on, and I don’t know how I feel about it yet,” Donghyuck’s heart clenched, but he tried not to react to that, “but I won’t be able to cope if this is another game at my expense.”</p><p> </p><p>Oh. Oh!</p><p> </p><p>“No games.” Suddenly alert again, Donghyuck pushed up off his brother just enough to meet his eye. The vulnerability he saw reflected back at him made him want to look away, but he steeled his nerve. “I promise, hyung, there’s no game.” He took a deep breath, determined to be as honest as possible without making yet another person he cared about think he was crazy.</p><p> </p><p>“I know this will sound stupid, but hear me out.” Jaehyun frowned, quirking one eyebrow, but let him speak. “If I could go back and stop myself saying those things to you, I would. I swear I would, but I’m<span>—</span>I’m not the same person anymore.” That was as close as he dared get to the truth, and he could only hope it would be enough. “I can’t take it back, but I can be better. I love you, Jaehyunie-hyung. I hope that you can find it in you to accept that.”</p><p> </p><p>“You love me?” The older man sounded so confused that Donghyuck was temporarily distracted from the myriad speeches rolling around in his head. “Really?”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t think you’ve ever said that to me before.”</p><p> </p><p>“I haven’t?” The shock in his voice must have been obvious, because Jaehyun chose that moment to grip his shoulders, lifting him so that they were face to face. His keen eyes scanned Donghyuck’s face, which he suspected looked like an absolute mess at this point, searching for something.</p><p> </p><p>“Is everything okay, Hyuckie?” he asked after a few moments, during which time Donghyuck didn't think either of them breathed. “I don’t mean between us. You seem really different, like something big has changed in your life. Is there something wrong?”</p><p> </p><p>Just when he didn't think his heart could be mashed and pulverised any more, Jaehyun had to go and look at him like that. This man had every right to hate him, to never speak to him again and to blame him for everything, and yet there was nothing but worry in his brown eyes. Gone was the coldness and the detached anger, replaced with concern and a look that seemed to see right into his soul.</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing is<span>—</span>” He paused, as Jaehyun made a disapproving noise deep in his throat. He wasn't going to buy that lie, Donghyuck could see that. This man was too perceptive for his damn own good. “There’s a lot going on at the moment,” he admitted, “more than I can tell you right now.” Or ever, but he couldn’t tell Jaehyun that. Suddenly, he had a thought. “Hyung, do you think that, maybe, we could start over? Try to put the past behind us?”</p><p> </p><p>“I<span>—</span>” It was Jaehyun’s turn to think now, the faintest hint of a dimple appearing as he chewed on his cheek in concentration. “I’d like that, Hyuckie.” He smiled then, and the force of it made the lamp behind them seem like a single, dying match in comparison. “I love you, little brother. No matter what, that will never change.”</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck didn't deserve a brother like Jaehyun, he decided. Neither Donghyuck did, but he’d happily spend every minute of his time in this reality making sure Jaehyun knew how precious he was to this Donghyuck. Then, when he got home, he’d make sure his Jaehyun<span>—</span>along with every single one of his family, biological and otherwise<span>—</span>knew exactly how special they were to him. He didn't know when he’d stopped remembering to do that, but he was determined never to forget again.</p><p> </p><p>“I love you too, Jaehyun-hyung.” More than you will ever know, he added in his head. More than you know.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Well... there we have it.</p><p>This was a really tough one to write, so I'd love to know what you thought.</p><p>I'm honestly still not sure if I got across exactly what I wanted to, but I hope you enjoyed it anyway. Remember, all critique is welcome.</p><p>As always, have a wonderful day! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The love I received for the last two chapters was so beyond anything I could have expected, and I'm so incredibly grateful for every single comment and view. Thank you all so much! &lt;3</p><p>This chapter, as so often happens, was meant to be short but I severely lack discipline. Instead, we finally get an answer to one question that I've seen a lot. And we get a little bit more Jaehyuck brotherly-love, because I'm so incredibly soft for both of them. Hope you enjoy...</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Following their heart-to-heart, neither Donghyuck or Jaehyun had wanted to leave the other’s sight—Donghyuck, for fear that Jaehyun would change his mind about everything in his absence; Jaehyun, simply because he had missed his brother that much, and didn’t want to waste any more time. He had still half-expected the other shoe to drop all evening, for Donghyuck to turn around and laugh, telling him it had all just been another cruel joke, but the younger boy had simply curled up in Jaehyun’s bed and fallen asleep, hard-spent tears still coating his cheeks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Not wanting to kick him out, yet understandably still a little wary of the boy after everything that had happened between them, Jaehyun had retrieved a spare pillow and blanket from the closet in the hall, just outside his room, making sure he didn't lose sight of Donghyuck for even a single second. He slept on the floor, which was carpeted but would still likely leave him with an aching spine in the morning. He had briefly considered climbing in beside Donghyuck—he wanted to wrap him up in his arms and never let him go again, now that he finally had him back—but he’d contented himself with watching the gentle rise and fall of Donghyuck’s chest as he also succumbed to sleep. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun was still willing to take a bullet for this kid, he thought, as his eyelids fluttered shut. He had been ever since he was old enough to understand what the words love and sacrifice meant. Despite everything they had been through, and despite all the harsh words and pain that had been slung his way over the years, his feelings had never truly changed. He’d just learnt to hide them away, under a facade of ice, one that he wasn't sure he knew what he was without anymore. He just hoped that the younger boy had really changed, and that he would stay true to his promise to do better from now on.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This was what Jaehyun had wanted more than anything. He was still worried about Donghyuck seeing the kind of man he’d become as a result of their rift, afraid of him finding out how much Jaehyun had changed to suit the person his brother had wanted him to become, but that was a worry for another time. For now, Jaehyun allowed himself to drift into unconsciousness, his body instinctively angled so that Donghyuck’s face would be the first thing he saw when he woke.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Waking up the next morning felt a lot like a dream, as Donghyuck slowly returned to awareness. The air around him was still and warm, without even a hint of a breeze from an open window, and very little light filtered in from outside. He wasn’t in his own bedroom, that he knew instantly, but he didn't experience the usual moment of confusion with which he started each day. Today, he woke with full understanding of where he was and, as he rolled over and immediately met Jaehyun’s eye, the full weight of his actions from yesterday pressed down on him like an anchor.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Morning, hyung,” he whispered into the silence. Jaehyun smiled up at him sleepily, before letting out a groan of discomfort as he attempted to stretch and every joint in his body cracked audibly. Donghyuck winced in sympathy as Jaehyun pushed himself up into a sitting position and reached a hand up to rub at the back of his neck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Morning, Hyuckie,” Jaehyun said quickly, before grimacing. Flinging his legs off Jaehyun’s bed, Donghyuck padded over to the older man quickly and crouched down next to him, eyeing the awkward angle of Jaehyun’s arm as he tried futilely to reach a spot in the middle of his back. “Ouch.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sore?” he asked and Jaehyun started to nod, before giving up with another wince. “Why did you sleep on the floor, hyung? I could have gone back to my room, or we could have shared the bed.” Jaehyun shrugged, which only seemed to hurt him more, so Donghyuck pushed the flailing arm away and knelt up to replace it with both his hands, firmly massaging his brother’s back and shoulders in the way that he knew his Jaehyun always loved. After a few seconds, the deep moan of relief that resounded through his hyung’s entire body made it clear that this Jaehyun was no less of a fan of his ‘magic hands’, so he continued. Using every technique he’d learned through years of practising on his members, he began to tease out each knot from the large, taut muscles beneath his fingers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was how their mom found the two of them twenty minutes later, Donghyuck kneeling with a leg on either side of Jaehyun’s waist, the larger man face-first on the carpet, as he tried to knead out the tension in a particularly stubborn section of his brother’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>latissimus dorsi</span>
  </em>
  <span>. She blinked in confusion for a few moments as she hovered in the open doorway, making eye contact with Donghyuck as Jaehyun pressed his face into the pillow beneath his head, but then she smiled wide and pressed a finger to her lips, leaving him to his task.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Later, once breakfast was over and Jaehyun had retreated to the living room to watch television with their dad, she wrapped an arm around Donghyuck’s waist and told him in a low whisper just how proud of him she was. She still carried a hint of residual worry in her expressive brown eyes, worry for both of her sons, but the new lightness in her mood was contagious. Donghyuck couldn’t help but smile at the way she seemed to glow from within as she practically waltzed around the kitchen, and he was glad that he’d been able to give her this much.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Go and spend time with your brother,” she told him, brushing off his protests when he tried to help her to wash up. “I can finish up here on my own.” So he did, curling up on the sofa next to Jaehyun and delighting in how the man hooked an arm around him and pulled him in closer, until Donghyuck was almost completely sprawled across his lap. Every few minutes, he snuck a glance up at Jaehyun’s face, checking that the smile on his face was still there, and he was equal parts embarrassed and overjoyed each time he caught his brother doing the same thing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Donghyuck-ah!” He was half-asleep again, the clock just ticking past noon, when the loud voice shook him back to awareness. He couldn't quite place the masculine voice for a moment, until he realised that the armchair across from him was empty, save for a laptop that looked to have been hastily abandoned, half-opened on the seat cushion.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dad?” He shifted, accidentally elbowing Jaehyun in the stomach for his troubles, and pitched forward off the sofa. Only Jaehyun’s quick thinking and even quicker hands stopped him from face planting straight into the coffee table, but he quickly recovered and headed out in the direction of the voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Donghyuck, do you know a Na Jaemin?” Rounding the door frame, Donghyuck stepped out into the hallway just in time to see a familiar face materialise from behind his dad’s shoulder, keen gaze fixing immediately onto his face. The younger boy waved, looking a little embarrassed, and Donghyuck couldn't help but laugh at the confused look his father gave his friend in return.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi, Jaemin-ah,” he said, smiling at the boy as he racked his brain to try to figure out what he was doing here. He hadn’t told him he was coming, and they hadn’t made—Oh. The promise he’d made to Jaemin on Friday, for them to talk on the phone over the weekend resurfaced all of a sudden and he groaned internally. “I left my phone in my room last night.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d abandoned his phone under the sheets just before dinner the previous day, when he’d been forced to come downstairs for one of the most uncomfortable meals of his life. After that, he’d gone straight to Jaehyun’s room, and he hadn’t even thought about the device since. He instantly felt guilty for forgetting about his friend, and whatever it was that he had needed to talk to him about so badly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m really sorry,” he started to say, but Jaemin shook his head with a soft smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay. I called you a couple of times and Renjun warned me that you might be busy, but I thought I’d drop by on my way past anyway.” His smile faded a little as he eyed Donghyuck’s dad guiltily. “I can just call you later, if this is a bad time.” He started to turn to leave but a large hand reached out to grab his shoulder, even as Donghyuck let out his own noise of protest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come on in, kid. Any friend of Donghyuck is always welcome,” his dad told Jaemin, using his firm grip on the boy’s shoulder to turn him a full one-eighty and guide him into the hallway. Jaemin barely managed to kick off his shoes, one landing on top of Jaehyun’s boots by the wall and one skidding half-way down the hallway, before he was being ushered into the rear of the house, presumably to make awkward small talk with both of Donghyuck’s parents at the same time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyuckie, is everything okay?” Jaehyun appeared in the living room doorway, watching the parade with detached amusement as it passed by them on its way towards the kitchen. “Who is that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just a friend from school,” Donghyuck offered, smiling up at him. Jaehyun ruffled his hair affectionately.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s not the one causing you trouble, is he?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyung, no.” Donghyuck’s eyes widened and he shook his head quickly. Jaehyun suddenly looked annoyed, eyes blazing with fire, but this time it wasn't him that fire was directed towards. He appreciated the protectiveness in the way Jaehyun’s arm pulled Donghyuck to him, as if he could shield him from the world, but the man was barking up the wrong tree. “Jaemin is one of the people who is helping me with everything.” He was trying, that much was true, even if he did think Donghyuck was certifiably crazy. Despite that, this Jaemin was proving himself to be a good friend to him and Renjun, and he’d been nothing but supportive so far—alongside being his familiar, endearingly unique self, which Donghyuck appreciated more than anything.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good.” Like he’d flipped a switch, relaxed and slightly sleepy Jaehyun was back. He blinked down at Donghyuck and then shrugged in the direction of the television. “I need to finish binge-watching this season before I drive back tomorrow morning.” He chuckled. “The perks of family internet plans. Tell dad that I’ll start watching again without him if he’s not back in ten minutes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With that, Jaehyun disappeared back into the living room, leaving Donghyuck to rescue Jaemin from his family. Jaemin had a cup of tea and a fistful of snacks when he entered the kitchen, so he didn't think the younger boy had minded the ambush too much, but he did flash Donghyuck a grateful smile when they locked eyes across the small room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaemin-ah, let’s go upstairs,” he told the room at large, before relaying Jaehyun’s ultimatum to the man currently grilling Jaemin on his extra-curricular activities and aspirations after graduation. “It’s only the second week of school,” Jaemin muttered to him, as the older man made a swift exit, and Donghyuck smirked. Then the two of them were escaping up the stairs with Jaemin’s new snack haul and an extra cup of tea for Donghyuck, courtesy of his mom.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Once they made it to Donghyuck’s room, he had finally retrieved his phone—which remained alive just long enough to show him the six missed calls he’d had from Jaemin already that morning. Plugging it in to charge, he apologised again to Jaemin, who was wandering slowly around his room, peering into every nook and cranny with undisguised curiosity.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to sit down?” he asked, curling his toes up beneath his thighs as he made himself comfortable on the bed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This isn’t what I expected your room to look like at all,” Jaemin told him in response, before joining him. He hesitated for a moment, gazing down at Donghyuck as an unfathomable expression crossed his face, before he slid onto the sheets, twisting his body so they were almost knee to knee. “I really didn't mean to intrude. I was worried you might have—” He cut himself off, pressing his lips tightly together as Donghyuck tried and failed to decipher his cryptic words.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine, Jaemin, honestly. I’m sorry for not checking my phone sooner.” He waved a hand at the offending piece of technology, which had yet to turn back on. “I was the one who told you to call anyway. So what’s up?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well,” Jaemin met his eye and quickly looked away. “I—” He swallowed, seeming to struggle as he tried to figure out what he wanted to say. With a reassuring smile on his lips, Donghyuck patted him on the shoulder and was surprised when Jaemin flinched away from him. Pulling his hand back like he’d been burned, the older boy frowned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s going on, Jaemin-ah?” Taking in the tense set of Jaemin’s jaw, he tried to ease him into the conversation by taking a wild stab in the dark. “Is this about Renjun? You know he didn't mean—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not about Renjun, Jaemin interrupted him, “it’s about you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Donghyuck, I’m lactose intolerant.” For almost a full minute, the two boys stared at each other in complete silence, before Donghyuck was forced to break it for fear of losing his mind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I know,” he said simply. What was so important about Jaemin’s inability to process lactose that had him turning up on the doorstep on a Sunday afternoon, he couldn’t even begin to imagine. Jaemin laughed weakly, his voice shaking slightly. When Donghyuck didn't elaborate, he let out a low, distressed whine that Donghyuck couldn’t recall ever having heard from him before.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You shouldn’t know that, Hyuck.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” For the second time in as many minutes, Donghyuck was rendered momentarily speechless but, this time, there was an undercurrent of fear in his eyes, one which didn't escape Jaemin’s notice. “You must have mentioned it at some point, and just forgotten about it.” He chuckled awkwardly, but Jaemin shook his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve never mentioned it to anyone at school. Not you. Not Renjun. Not anyone.” He slid off the bed quickly, so quickly that Donghyuck took a second to register the movement. He pushed the door to the bedroom shut, the wood hitting the frame with a soft thud, and then he was back in his place in a heartbeat, staring into Donghyuck’s soul.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn't believe you before, when you told me that you were from,” he struggled for the right word again, “another place…” Donghyuck watched his face carefully as he spoke, not sure if he was upset, angry or somewhere in between. The boy’s face was a carefully curated study in passive indifference, even as his eyes betrayed his concern and a spark of fear that made Donghyuck’s heart squeeze.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I—I’m not going to hurt you, Jaemin-ah,” he said slowly, leaning back against the wall behind him to put some space between them. “I promise. I’m still Donghyuck, just with a different set of memories.” When Jaemin rose to his knees abruptly, closing the distance between them, he actually worried that Jaemin was going to hit him for a second, before the younger boy wrapped his entire body around Donghyuck, almost toppling them both off the bed and onto the floor.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not worried about you hurting me, Hyuck,” he murmured, as the older boy slowly relaxed into the hug, pressing a shaking hand into the small of Jaemin’s back. “So far, you seem like a lot less of an asshole than the Lee Donghyuck I grew up with.” He couldn’t argue with that. “I’m worried about what’s going to happen to Renjunie, when he finds out that you’re not the person he thinks you are. He was so upset when y—when </span>
  <em>
    <span>he</span>
  </em>
  <span> stopped talking to him all those years ago. It’s going to crush him when he finds out.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” Donghyuck spluttered, a bark of surprised laughter bubbling up in his throat as he struggled to process the unprecedented emotional speech from his friend—or a boy he sincerely hoped would still want to remain his friend after this. “Renjun knows. He figured it out almost immediately.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He did?” Jaemin pushed away from him so fast he half-expected to have whiplash. “Really? Why didn’t either of you tell me? I’ve been trying to figure out how to get you on your own to ask about it for days.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait, is that why you clammed up like a limp noodle any time Renjun interrupted us?” Donghyuck asked, as Jaemin flushed a spectacular shade of pink. “What did you think was going on with me and Renjun this week? You were the one who told him in the first place, dumbass! He’s been helping me figure it all out ever since.” Jaemin seemed unable to do much other than blink, which would have been adorable if it wasn't also incredibly frustrating. Resorting to humour to ease some of the awkwardness between them, Donghyuck grinned. “Here I was, thinking that it was all because you’re hopelessly in love with him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I—” Jaemin chose that moment to choke on his own tongue and Donghyuck had to slap him on the back several times before he could speak again. After he’d taken a large sip of his tea, which was already cold to the touch, he finally managed to continue. “I never told you that either. How much do you know about me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t have to be from an alternate reality to figure that one out, Jaemin-ah.” Donghyuck laughed, the sound erupting from deep within his gut, as Jaemin flushed crimson again. Donghyuck sobered a little. “Sorry. I promise I won’t tell him, but you haven't exactly been subtle about it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shut up.” With that, it was as though all of the residual unease fled from the room, and the grin Jaemin flashed up at him was like the sun appearing from behind a stray cloud. He returned it with a smile of his own and kicked Jaemin gently in the knee for good measure, which earned him a half-hearted slap of his own.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So it was all true then?” Jaemin asked after a few minutes, peering up at Donghyuck with unveiled curiosity. “And Renjun knows what? Everything?” Donghyuck nodded, and Jaemin contorted himself like a pretzel until he was lying on his stomach, chin propped up on his fingers. “Okay. Tell me everything.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>There we have it. Bless him, he might not be the brightest in this universe (blinded by his Renjun-tinted glasses, probably...) but Jaeminie's heart is still in the right place.</p><p>As always, have a wonderful day! :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Today's chapter is a little shorter, but I already know the next one is shaping up to be a long one and I didn't want to break it up in a way that didn't feel natural.</p><p>Anyway, there are a couple of really important details in this one, so see if you can spot them. :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>By the time Jaemin finally started running out of questions, the afternoon light outside was just starting to fade into grey and Donghyuck had a mild case of deja vu. Their conversation hadn’t taken exactly the same path as the one with Renjun, but he thought he was getting pretty good at relaying the details at this point. He’d even managed to preempt several of the questions, causing the boy sprawled out on the bed next to him to gasp in surprise. He’d been oddly proud of that, immediately followed by laughing at the awestruck expression on Jaemin’s face.</p><p> </p><p>“So, was that the list that you mentioned? The one Renjunie had that day in the cafe,” Jaemin asked, rolling onto his back to stare up at the ceiling. Donghyuck eased back onto the bed beside him, until they were lying side by side. He considered reaching out to connect their hands, but he didn't think Jaemin was ready for that kind of familiarity from him yet. “You know, it makes sense now why he didn't want me to see it. It would have probably freaked me out, seeing my own name on it, even though you’d already told me I was involved. Paper makes it real somehow, you know?</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.” He wasn’t sure which of Jaemin’s questions he was answering, but he didn't think it really mattered at this point. Turning his head to look at the boy next to him, Donghyuck couldn't help but enjoy the way that he seemed to be so much more relaxed now than when he’d first arrived. It was obvious in hindsight, just from comparing this Jaemin to the Jaemin of the past few days at school, that this had all been weighing heavily on his mind. He was glad that they had finally gotten everything out in the open, and that Jaemin had embraced the truth without protest. “The list was Renjun’s idea, actually, to keep everyone straight in his head.”</p><p> </p><p>“Is that the only copy? I’d be interested to see it at some point.” Donghyuck was about to reply in the affirmative, to tell him that he’d ask Renjun to show him the next morning, but then he remembered that it would be easy enough just to create a new copy. After all, they were names he knew as well as his own at this point, and Renjun hadn’t made too many changes to his original scrawl.</p><p> </p><p>“Hang on,” he told the other boy, then rolled off the bed and retrieved his school bag from where it had been abandoned against the wall under the window. It took him a minute to find a blank page in the small notebook he’d largely doodled in for the past two weeks, but he tore out a couple of sheets and brought them back over to the bed. In minutes, he’d recreated the list that lived perpetually in Renjun’s blazer pocket, in roughly the same order, thrusting it quickly into Jaemin’s outstretched hands.</p><p> </p><p>Jaemin took a while to fully process the information, as Renjun had done. He read the entire list through twice, staring down at the pages so intently that Donghyuck wouldn’t have been surprised to see the paper burst into flames from the sheer intensity of his gaze. He didn't speak for a long time, chewing his lower lip as he concentrated, before the list was abruptly returned to its owner.</p><p> </p><p>“I shouldn’t be allowed to keep that,” he informed Donghyuck solemnly, scratching the tip of his right ear as it went slightly red. “I have a habit of losing important things, and we don’t want to risk any of the people on here coming across it accidentally.” Donghyuck couldn't disagree with that so he just nodded and folded the papers in half neatly, tucking them under his thigh.</p><p> </p><p>“I know some of those people,” Jaemin continued, lifting one finger after another as he silently counted them off in his head. As he reached the ring finger of his second hand, he frowned and looked up at the other boy in confusion. “Wait, so Jaehyun-ssi really isn’t your brother in the other galaxy?”</p><p> </p><p>“No, he’s not,” Donghyuck agreed, lips twitching at the unique choice of words employed by his friend. “In my...galaxy, we’re like brothers, all of us, but we don’t share blood.” He thought for a moment and then tried to explain the feelings he had never really quantified before.</p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t choose them—choose you, because we were all sort of thrust together as trainees when we were young. We grew up together and it was natural we’d become friends, but it’s more than that. They’re my family. I didn’t get the opportunity to choose—not really—but I would. If I could go back, I would choose them, every single one, all over again.” The irony of his words wasn’t lost on him, considering what he was currently doing and with whom, but it was the best explanation he could offer.</p><p> </p><p>Jaemin hummed in response, fixing Donghyuck with a brief, piercing gaze that promised that he had missed none of the nuances in that little speech, but returned his attention to his fingers, flexing each one in turn as he counted them off again.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyuck, you said that Jisung was on the list, but it’s not the same Jisung.” Donghyuck just stared blankly down at him, failing to follow his thought process, so Jaemin dropped his hands into his lap and tried again. “Your list says Park Jisung, right?. It’s a common name and, when I brought Jisung over to meet you on Wednesday, it looked like you recognised him, but his family name isn’t Park.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not? What is it then?”</p><p> </p><p>“I—” Jaemin thought hard about the question, before shrugging, “I don't actually remember, but I know there’s no one on the team with that name. I’d have definitely remembered it from the sign-up sheets, because our former leader’s family name was Park and he was the only one.”</p><p> </p><p>Pulling out the list from beneath his leg, Donghyuck opened it and found Jisung’s name, reading it over once more. He didn't know why, because he knew that he wasn’t suddenly remembering the maknae’s name incorrectly, but that also didn't mean that it wasn’t different in this reality. After all, Jaehyun’s name had changed as a result of his connection to Donghyuck. Maybe Jisung's situation was similar. It might be nothing, but he couldn't afford to dismiss it outright.</p><p> </p><p>“We need to find out what his name is,” he told Jaemin, when the other boy started to look a little uncomfortable with the stretching silence. “I can’t just ask him upfront, because then he’ll be even more wary of me than he was on Wednesday—”</p><p> </p><p>“If it helps, I think he’s wary of pretty much everyone,” Jaemin offered. “I walked up behind him in our first meeting last week, and he nearly jumped out of his skin. You’d have thought I electrocuted him.” He grinned, but it quickly faded as he focused on the list in Donghyuck’s hands. “I don’t think he’d like it if I asked him directly either. I could try to get his school record from the office if you want. I’m basically best friends with the women who work on the front desk.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sure you are,” Donghyuck said wryly but shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. I think Dejun-hyung wants to get all of you dancers to put your names down on the audition list when it goes up next week anyway.” He clapped a hand down onto Jaemin’s shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I can just check that after, to see what name he puts down.”</p><p> </p><p>“You know,” Jaemin said slowly, pressing a long finger to his lower lip and plastering a serious look on his face. Donghyuck thought it made him look a bit constipated, but decided not to mention it.</p><p> </p><p>“What?”</p><p> </p><p>“We sound really creepy right now. Any more discussion about this, and we’ll practically be stalking the poor boy.” At that, they both laughed and the matter was left behind, in favour of lighter topics of conversation—namely the snacks they still hadn’t quite finished, because they’d been talking too much.</p><p> </p><p>Half an hour later, Jaemin excused himself to head home, after a very concerned phone call from his mother. He hadn’t told her he was planning on coming over—he didn't have the kind of friends who invited him over, as he explained it—and she’d panicked at finding his bedroom empty at dinner time.</p><p> </p><p>The pair descended the stairs together just in time to catch Jaehyun coming up in the opposite direction, looking for Donghyuck. He needed to let him know that he was heading back to the dorms early—something about an argument breaking out between two of his roommates—and he hadn't wanted to leave without telling Donghyuck.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll see you at school tomorrow, Jaemin-ah,” he told the younger boy, who just nodded and smiled pleasantly at the older man who now stood between them. He quickly said goodbye to their parents in the living room and then let himself out, leaving the brothers alone to say goodbye to one another.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you really have to go, hyung?” Donghyuck asked, wrapping his arms around Jaehyun’s shoulders. Their height difference made the position a little uncomfortable for both of them, with Donghyuck almost tripping Jaehyun over as he plastered himself to his brother’s side like a limpet, but Jaehyun braced just in time to avoid losing his balance.</p><p> </p><p>“Unfortunately,” he said, ruffling his brother’s hair gently. “Dongyoung-hyung will have my ass if I don’t, and I’d quite like to keep my ass for a while. At least until I graduate.” His tone was light and, if he felt Donghyuck tense a little at the sound of his roommate's name, he didn't react. Instead, he busied himself with easing the younger boy off him, extracting himself from the mass of tanned limbs and body heat.</p><p> </p><p>“Can I—could I maybe visit your dorm at some point?” Donghyuck knew he’d need to phrase this request carefully, to avoid making Jaehyun suspicious, but he suspected that Dongyoung wouldn't be the only person he’d need to visit the campus to meet in the near future. He was overjoyed to have Jaehyun back in his life but, if Jaehyun just so happened to have a dozen other conveniently-situated roommates that he could introduce him to, who was Donghyuck to complain. “I’d love to visit the campus at some point.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not sure if that’s—”</p><p> </p><p>“I wouldn’t be any trouble, I promise,” Donghyuck insisted, offering up his best puppy dog eyes to his brother. He knew that his brand of aegyo didn't usually work on Jaehyun, mainly because the man he knew was entirely too smart to fall for his tricks so easily, but he had to hope that this Jaehyun would be a softer target. “I just want to get to know you better.” He knew he was pushing it at this point, but he had to remind himself he wasn't lying. Just being his adorable, irritating self. “I’ve missed you, hyung!”</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe at some point soon, Hyuck-ah.” Jaehyun didn't look or sound convinced, but it wasn't a no. That was infinitely better than a straight-up rejection. “On a weekend when we don’t have a—” He broke off abruptly, breaking eye contact. For a second, Donghyuck worried he was going to change his mind completely, but then he cleared his throat and hooked an arm around Donghyuck’s shoulder, pulling him bodily down the hall towards the front door.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll think about it,” he said finally, as he scooped up a large duffel bag that sat ready beside the door. It looked a lot fuller than it had when he’d arrived, but Donghyuck didn't question it. He’d seen the two stacks of laundry waiting outside Jaehyun’s room that morning when he woke up. He imagined that he too would have taken advantage of the opportunity for free laundry at home, if he’d gone to college or his mom had been close enough for him to visit regularly.</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks, hyung.” Jaehyun pulled open the door that Jaemin had left ajar, one last smile flashed back at Donghyuck over his shoulder as he stepped out onto the driveway. The same black car sat at the kerb, engine idling and the front passenger window cracked open a fraction. Donghyuck was tempted to follow him out, to peer in closer and see who was driving, but a more pressing question had just occurred to him. “Hyung?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, Hyuckie?” Jaehyun was still walking away, but he slowed his pace at the sound of his brother’s voice.</p><p> </p><p>“Just out of interest, how many roommates do you have?” He had to know, had to be able to hope that Jaehyun held the answers to at least some of the unanswered questions he had for the universe he now occupied.</p><p> </p><p>The man didn't turn around, reaching the car in a few long strides. He opened the rear passenger door and dropped his bag inside but, as he pushed the door closed, he held up his free hand above his head, fingers outstretched. “Five. At the moment, I have five.” Donghyuck half-heartedly tried to peer around the shadowy metal frame as Jaehyun opened the front passenger door and slid inside, but his position at the top of the driveway and the lack of light restricted his view to almost nothing. “Bye, Hyuck,” Jaehyun called through the open window. “I love you.”</p><p> </p><p>The car sped away, tires squealing.</p><p> </p><p>Five.</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck knew he might be wrong, but his instincts were firing on all cylinders after his recent conversations with Jaemin. Five maybes were better than none, and he could already tell Renjun to tick off one more name tomorrow. He just hoped that the rest of Jaehyun’s friends would turn out to be as…significant...as Dongyoung was.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Another day, another name. Soon enough, we'll find them all... maybe.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯</p><p>As always, have a wonderful day. &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>In this one bring you a bit of NoRenMin (sort of). I mean, they're all there. They just, you know, aren't nearly as smooth as they think they are... what's new?</p><p>Anyway, I think it's about time for a reminder that I default to British English when I forget to specifically spell things the American way. I'm almost certain that happened a couple of times in here, even though I read through it several times to check. If I did, please forgive me.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The next few weeks passed quickly for everyone, as both classes and extracurriculars started to ramp up in intensity. Donghyuck still ate lunch and hung out after class with Renjun and Jaemin, on days when he didn’t have a meeting to attend or too much homework to do, but it felt like, whenever he stopped to take a breath and have fun, there was always a dozen other things demanding his attention.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He found himself questioning daily why he was working so hard, making sure that his grades didn’t slip and that his homework was all submitted on time, but the answer remained the same. He could selfishly justify manipulating some things, for the sake of forging and repairing relationships with his members—morally, that too was still up for debate, but he tried not to dwell on it too much. He would not, however, allow the other Donghyuck to return to a world in which his future prospects had been ruined through his apathy or lack of effort.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No matter what his doppelganger was like as a person, everyone deserved the chance to graduate high school, he reasoned, so Donghyuck did his best to make sure that would still be on the table, even if it ultimately slowed down his search for the rest of his family. As a result, he seemed to spend more time in the library than with his friends, as a few big tests were already looming that he needed to make sure he was ready for.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun was as supportive as ever, helping him with homework wherever possible, but Renjun couldn’t actually attend every class for him and he had his own classes to worry about. He did make an excellent cheerleader though, as did Jaemin, who was mostly useless for academics but seemed to have an unending supply of snacks and coffee whenever Donghyuck needed it most. The three of them solidified their friendship into a tight bond as time marched on and, for that, Donghyuck was grateful.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Following his little revelation that weekend, Jaemin had taken to trying to pretend he wasn't remotely interested in Renjun romantically whenever Donghyuck was around. This, unfortunately for him, only made it more obvious, and Donghyuck was amazed that the other boy hadn't noticed yet. Renjun was either completely oblivious or a very good actor, because he continued to blithely bicker with Jaemin at every opportunity, much to his chagrin, and seemed to enjoy nothing more than winding the younger boy up to the point where he turned beet red in the middle of the cafeteria—much to Donghyuck’s delight.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck hadn’t been able to see much of Chenle outside of Drama Soc meetings, but he cherished every moment he got to spend with the adorable freshman. He had only grown more tactile with Donghyuck over time, something the older boy was definitely not complaining about, and he would often drop his head onto Donghyuck’s shoulder or flop down dramatically across his lap as the group engaged in discussion after discussion about auditions, rehearsals, lighting, stage design and the other hundred things that went into staging a show in high school.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>From Wednesday that next week, some of the dancers had started turning up to their lunchtime meetings, offering their input and suggestions to help enhance Dejun’s vision for the musical. The older boy had roped in a few teachers to help too, from across the arts faculty, and things seemed to be starting to take shape. He’d mentioned that he wanted to organise auditions soon, and Donghyuck had happily offered to put up flyers and yet more sign up sheets when the time came—this time with some of his own flair, unlike the drab monochrome the Drama President seemed to favour.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin, in particular, had been very vocal about opportunities to best integrate the dancers into the show. He had impressed both Dejun and the Dance leader—whose name Donghyuck had missed the first time it was mentioned, and had since forgotten twice to ask Jaemin about—with his ideas, and Donghyuck couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride as he watched his friend take centre stage in the debate.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jisung had turned up to the very next meeting. He was still as timid as ever, and he’d taken to following Jaemin around the drama studio like he was auditioning for a role as his shadow. Donghyuck hadn't tried to approach him after that first time in the auditorium, but Chenle had no such hesitations. So far, his attempts at conversation hadn't yielded many results, but Donghyuck could have sworn he saw Jisung almost crack a smile at one of Chenle’s jokes in their latest session, so he was still holding out hope for a miracle.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a week or so, Renjun had started taking up residence in the corner of the drama studio whenever Jaemin and Donghyuck were there, muttering something about how incredibly sad it was to eat lunch on his own when they had questioned him on it. He never said anything, and he always had a novel or a textbook in his lap while the rest of the room loudly talked over each other, but Donghyuck caught him watching them several times when he’d looked over. Renjun denied it when asked, but the younger boy suspected he was a lot more interested in what was happening around him than he would admit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn't the normal Donghyuck was used to, but it surprised him how quickly he fell into the familiarity of a routine, and he actually found himself relaxing and allowing himself to enjoy the ride at times. He continued to experience twinges of guilt whenever he dwelled on all the loved ones he hadn't seen in over a month—people who he still missed like a hole in his heart—but he knew he was just making the best of the situation. If he enjoyed aspects of it now and then, he hoped they wouldn’t judge him for it if they knew.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You look tired.” Jaemin greeted him with finger-guns as Donghyuck slid onto the bench next to him, fingers already groping around in his backpack for his lunch. Nudging Jaemin’s sandwich aside to make room for his elbows, he slumped down onto the tabletop and sighed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks for the vote of confidence, Jaemin-ah,” he muttered. Jaemin didn't respond to that, instead shoving a snack pack under Donghyuck’s nose. He was half tempted to turn it down, just to spite Jaemin for his suggestion that he looked anything less than spectacular, but the dark circles he’d seen in the mirror that morning were testament to the fact that Jaemin wasn’t far off the mark. “I had an English essay due this morning. I barely slept.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I thought you finished it by eleven,” Renjun said accusingly, as he dropped his bag down on the floor next to Donghyuck’s and claimed the seat opposite. “You told me when I called you at midnight that it was done.” He waggled a finger disparagingly in Donghyuck’s face and frowned down at him. “This doesn’t look like it was finished early.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wanted it to be perfect.” Letting his eyes droop, Donghyuck shifted to lean against Jaemin, deciding that the tabletop was entirely too cold to allow him to nap through lunch like he wanted to. Jaemin accommodated him without complaint, supporting him with an outstretched arm behind his back, and continued to pile food into his mouth with his free hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You really don’t have to torture yourself like this, Hyuck. One bad grade isn’t going to kill anyone.” He didn't have to see Renjun to picture the disapproving look on his face. He’d been forced to admit to both of them why he was so keen to maintain good grades, when he’d fallen asleep at lunch two days in a row the previous week.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun had made the salient point that he hadn’t had to do school work like this for years and it was never going to be as easy as it would have been for the other Hyuck, but he hadn’t listened. They didn’t like it, and Renjun had stepped up his daily check-in calls and homework exchange programme to compensate, but he had insisted. Hence why he currently felt like he was ready to face plant into Jaemin’s lap.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You need a break,” Renjun continued, when Donghyuck didn't argue with him. The tone of his voice suggested that he had won some sort of victory over Donghyuck’s stubbornness, and Hyuck didn't have the energy to crack an eyelid and inform him that his compliance was mainly because he was half-asleep. “You’re coming to the game tonight, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He did react to that, blinking slowly as his eyes focused on Renjun’s slightly blurry face. “Yeah,” he said. “That’s why I stayed up so late and started the math assignment after I was done with Shakespeare. I’m not missing it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had missed the soccer game the previous week, the last friendly game of the season, and Renjun had made him promise to come to this one. It was the first time this year that the school would turn out en-masse for a sporting event, Renjun had explained, and he wanted the three of them to show some school spirit—and to spend a couple of hours ogling Jeno, but he hadn’t actually said that part out loud.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll come and grab you from the library at seven, okay?” Jaemin poked him gently in the arm until he nodded, and then Donghyuck propped himself up on his arm to eat as much food as he could manage before their lunch period ended.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When they arrived at the sports field several hours later, Donghyuck could immediately sense the difference between this game and the friendly game he’d come to weeks before. There were a lot more people, for one—although not so many that the stands were completely filled yet—and he could spot a few students in a uniform he didn't recognise milling around near the edge of the pitch.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn't know what school or what team they were playing, and the generic initials on the scoreboard didn't give him any clues as they scooted around the empty ticket booth, making their way towards the loud hum of noise. There were several dozen floodlights already illuminating the pitch in front of them, the lateness of the evening necessitating their presence to cast off most of the shadows, and beneath the nearest one was a cluster of spectators buying snacks from a small mobile food-truck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Anyone want anything?” Renjun asked, reaching for his backpack to pull out his wallet. Donghyuck shook his head quickly, while Jaemin shrugged noncommittally. Renjun huffed but zipped up his backpack again. “Okay. Your loss.” Food truck forgotten, Donghyuck started scanning the nearest stand for free seats. There were plenty on the ends, and Jaemin started to head for the steps automatically, but Renjun grabbed his arm to stop him dead in his tracks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong?” Jaemin asked, turning to look at him. Donghyuck watched as his eyes slid slowly from Renjun’s face down to where the older boy held his wrist in his fingers, blinking owlishly at the place where their skin touched. Renjun didn't notice his surprise, because he maintained his vice-like grip on Jaemin’s arm and started tugging him in the opposite direction.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to sit over on the other side tonight,” Renjun insisted, pointing with his free hand to the emptier stand on the other side of the pitch. Donghyuck’s brows furrowed as he recalled Renjun’s disappointment at not sitting that side at the previous game they’d attended together, but said nothing. Instead, he nudged Jaemin towards Renjun with a shoulder, before stepping around them both and walking towards the path that lay beyond the food cart.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come on, Jaemin,” Renjun said softly, fingers shifting from Jaemin’s wrist to intertwine their fingers. For a second, Jaemin stood frozen, staring down at their joined hands, but then he allowed Renjun to drag him after Donghyuck, who walked a few paces ahead of them. He didn't say anything as they rejoined him, but Jaemin knew that he’d taken notice from the way he raised a single eyebrow questioningly when Renjun wasn't looking. Jaemin had no response for him, other than to blink rapidly and try to remember how to walk in a straight line, even as his brain attempted to memorise the exact way Renjun’s fingers felt wrapped around his own.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They found three seats together at the clubhouse end of the stand, two rows back from ground level. It wasn't central or a row with the best views in the house—those had still been available, despite the crowds getting a little bigger by the minute—but it had been Renjun’s choice and the other two had acquiesced without question.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had a small, private smile on his face as they sat down, tucking his hands into his pockets and leaning into Donghyuck’s shoulder for warmth. Donghyuck wasn't about to wipe that smile off his face for anything, especially as he saw the older boy was already fixated on a small cluster of players warming up on the pitch in front of them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jeno was with them, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Lee 7</span>
  </em>
  <span> emblazoned on the back of his shirt in a neon green that seemed to glow under the floodlight above his head. Lucas was also there, to Donghyuck’s surprise, and he quickly nudged the boys on either side of him to get their attention. He had a neon number </span>
  <em>
    <span>5</span>
  </em>
  <span> on his back as he laughed at something Jeno was saying to him, and the name </span>
  <em>
    <span>Wong was </span>
  </em>
  <span>printed above it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” Jaemin asked, when Donghyuck failed to say anything. Jaemin stared down at the group for a few seconds, before turning back to the speechless boy with a scowl on his lips. “You don’t need to point Lee Jeno out to us, Hyuck. We know what he looks like.” On his other side, Donghyuck felt rather than saw Renjun open his mouth to unleash a suitably biting remark in response, so he interrupted the inevitable argument before it could begin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wasn’t going to mention Jeno,” he told Jaemin, making sure to keep his voice down. There weren't too many people around them yet, most students and parents choosing to congregate towards the middle of the stand, but there were a group of freshmen girls two rows behind them with an obnoxiously sparkly banner that had the team’s names on it, and Donghyuck didn't particularly want to be overheard. “I was looking at Lucas.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who?” Jaemin asked, as Renjun nodded thoughtfully.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yukhei,” Donghyuck clarified, remembering that Renjun had mentioned that Lucas went by his real name here. “I know him better as Lucas, but that’s not the point.” He turned to Renjun, who tore his eyes from the back of Jeno’s head long enough to look at them. “You didn’t mention he was friends with Jeno.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun rolled his eyes. “Yukhei is friends with everyone, as is Jeno.” He paused, glancing back down at the pair briefly, before clarifying. “Friends with everyone who is popular, I mean. He’s one of the most outgoing people in the senior class, and that’s saying a lot. Everyone loves him. Just look.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He gestured to the stand opposite and Donghyuck scanned the crowd leisurely, noting that quite a few students—mostly girls, although there were a few sporadic male fans—had handmade banners or electronic signs, most of which featured Yukhei’s name prominently. He even spotted one girl with a crude, handmade replica of his soccer shirt, complete with his number and family name in green paint.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He seems well-liked,” Donghyuck mused, turning his attention to the boy in question, who had just started to stretch with Jeno and the rest of the team. Another boy, one with a wide face and broad shoulders, seemed to be leading the warm-up, but Donghyuck noticed that most of the team looked to Lucas for their cues anyway. “That hasn’t changed.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I bet Yukhei is popular in every universe,” Renjun whispered, and Jaemin snorted with laughter as he agreed with him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re probably not wrong,” Donghyuck mused, as the team split into groups and moved onto ball exercises and sprints. They all watched in silence for a few minutes, before the group containing Jeno and Lucas moved to the far end of the pitch and they couldn't see them properly anymore. Renjun pouted at that, then continued to pout as the four freshmen girls behind them started to debate the relative attractiveness of the different members they had written down on their poster boards.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You have got to be kidding me,” he muttered five minutes later, as one of them started describing Jeno’s impossibly pretty smile as her friends cooed and giggled in response. “Do they really have nothing else to talk about?” The group continued, undeterred by his hushed grumblings, and Jaemin leaned around Donghyuck to fix his friend with a look that promised trouble.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Careful, Renjunie,” he snapped. “People might think you’re jealous.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shut your damn mouth, you—” Donghyuck slapped a hand over both of their mouths with a swiftness that surprised even him, and the rest of Renjun’s words were lost into the thick fabric of the gloves that Donghyuck had actually remembered to bring to school in preparation for tonight.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chill,” he told them both, as Jaemin tried to peel the fingers off his face and Renjun smacked his knee hard enough to make him flinch. “I’d quite like to enjoy the game without you two killing each other.” When neither of them made any other moves to disturb the peace, he tentatively removed his hands and they were left glaring at each other mutely.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Besides,” he continued, following a flicker of movement he’d spotted out of the corner of his eye. “They’re coming back. I think it’s about to start.” True to his words, Jeno and Lucas were walking diagonally across the pitch towards where he was sat, trailed by half a dozen other boys carrying various pieces of warm-up equipment. Jaemin’s words forgotten, Renjun turned his attention back to the action, while Jaemin glared at the side of his head like he could burrow inside with sheer force of will and make Renjun like him instead of Jeno.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh my God!” One of the girls behind them yelped and there was a loud rustling sound, which was enough to have Donghyuck turning in his seat to look back at them. They were all on their feet, giggling excitedly as they waved their banners at the group that was coming closer with every step. He couldn't help but smile at the way that they had drawn a small pink heart over the</span>
  <em>
    <span> jieut</span>
  </em>
  <span> in Jeno’s name, but he had to turn his back on them when they started to shout the players’ names in unison like an idol fan chant.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Down on the pitch, Jeno and Lucas had reached the gravel at the side of the field and were collecting labelled water bottles from a box on the floor, which was guarded by a short, balding man he thought was the coach. As they drank, Lucas’ eyes scanned the crowd idly, passing quickly over everyone until he made eye contact with Donghyuck. Or almost made eye contact; Donghyuck couldn’t quite tell whether he was looking at them, or at the girls waving and screaming behind them, but then he nudged Jeno’s shoulder and leant in to say something in the younger boy’s ear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jeno’s eyes lit up as he spoke, turning to stare up in the direction Lucas pointed. He didn't make it obvious, his hand remaining close to his hip, but the finger that Lucas uncurled was unmistakable to an observant Donghyuck. The two of them stared up into their section of the stand, and the girls behind him went crazy with excitement. He would have thought that a member of a popular idol group had turned up—despite there technically being at least five present with the girls none the wiser—but it was definitely Yukhei’s name they were shouting.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s looking at you, Injun-ah.” He could have almost convinced himself they really were enraptured by the ridiculous spectacle behind him, but he would have needed to be blind to miss the way Lucas’ lips smoothly formed the characters of Renjun’s name as they stood huddled together, water bottles in hand, trying hard not to look like they were staring at the boy to his right.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who?” Renjun glanced up from the spot in his lap he’d been focusing on, but his attention was on Donghyuck and not the boys currently watching him like he was an exhibit in a zoo, one that might bolt if they looked at him directly. Jeno was leaning on Lucas’ shoulder, neck twisted awkwardly as he stole glances up at them not-so-subtly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who do you think, idiot?” he muttered, grinning as Renjun finally took the hint and glanced down at Jeno—who promptly panicked and turned his back on the stand completely, causing Lucas to start laughing hysterically at him. Donghyuck sighed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyuck, I think you’re due for a whole heap of sleep after this,” Renjun told him sternly, eyes narrowing as he tried to figure out why Lucas was now doubling over next to the object of his affections. “Yukhei is probably just amused by the terrible spelling on those banners, and Jeno isn’t even looking this way.” He huffed out a breath, slumping down into his seat a little. “Tell me if he actually does anything interesting. I’m starting to get a headache from the banshee quartet behind us.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By this point, the coach had signalled for the team to huddle and had begun speaking to them, shouting to make himself heard over the normal people talking to each other in the stand behind him—and the four freshmen girls who were currently exhibiting a lung capacity that made Donghyuck jealous. Jeno and Lucas were still talking quietly to each other on the outskirts of the group, but neither of them looked over again. Still, Donghyuck noted that Jeno wore a happy smile. It lit up his whole face, it hadn’t been there five minutes ago, and it stayed that way for most of the game.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They won.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jeno scored twice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As they left the stand after the game, Jaemin complaining loudly because Renjun was threatening not to drive him home for blocking his view of Jeno's second goal, Donghyuck could hear people around them talking about how fired up the boy had been. He’d been totally in the zone all game and, of course, he’d looked so incredibly cool and relaxed and handsome doing it—cue eye roll and fake puking ad infinitem.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That said, he wasn’t a betting man, but Donghyuck would wager it didn't have anything to do with screaming freshmen girls or glitter-smeared banners.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm super sleepy and it's been a long work day, so I'll just say thanks and peace out. Just know that you are awesome, whoever and wherever you are. :)</p><p>As always, have a wonderful day! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Guess who's back again, with another chapter that ended up a lot longer than expected...?</p><p>The second part of this chapter was one of the first plot points I noted down when this idea first started to write itself in my head, so I'm glad that it's finally out of said head. Now I just have a dozen or so other key scenes waiting impatiently for me to get to them.</p><p>Enjoy! :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Isn’t that right, Hyuck-ah?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Huh?” The sound of Donghyuck’s name pulled his attention back to the conversation he was barely paying attention to, distracted instead by the far more interesting interactions of the other people scattered around the room. Blinking, he turned his head to find Xiao Dejun and the school’s two performing arts teachers staring at him expectantly, waiting for an answer to a question he hadn’t been listening to. “Sorry, can you repeat that last part for me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His eyes had been on Renjun, who had, in turn, been staring right back at him. The other boy had been rolling his eyes as he did so, gesturing furiously behind Donghyuck as if to suggest that he should be paying attention and not watching him. He wasn’t wrong, but Donghyuck would be lying if he said it wasn't fun to watch his friend sigh, every single time he was interrupted from his book by someone wanting him to join in on the impromptu chaos happening between him and Donghyuck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was Friday lunchtime. As such, whilst the people in charge, which coincidentally still involved Donghyuck, were busy discussing something important—he really should have been able to remember what, but the information had fled his brain almost immediately—the rest of the newly combined drama and dance crowd had decided to start playing a rather boisterous game of </span>
  <em>
    <span>Jegichagi.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chenle had started screaming excitedly somewhere around four seconds into his turn, brightly coloured </span>
  <em>
    <span>jegi</span>
  </em>
  <span> arcing high into the air as he ran to get underneath it. The sound had caused Donghyuck to look away from Dejun for a split second—he swore it was just a second—and that had been it. He’d become instantly distracted by the game, and by the people clearly enjoying it more than he was enjoying being a responsible not-quite-adult. He hadn’t heard a single word of the discussion since.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was just telling the teachers that you were making the audition sign-up sheets, Donghyuck.” Dejun’s voice was serious and he stared intently at Donghyuck, but he didn't really seem annoyed. His mouth quirked up at the corners, and he was leaning back in his chair in a way that broadcasted that he was relaxed. “Why don’t you tell them where you got to with it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, yeah.” Donghyuck bent over and fished around under his chair, pulling out three slim, neatly colour-coded stacks of paper. One of the teachers, Mr Choi, raised an impressed eyebrow as he took in the way they were oriented in alternating directions to keep the colours separate. “So, I’ve got a set for each year group. I’m going to pin them up on each class board, and there are a few different boards, so I thought colour-coding would help to keep them organised.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Actually, Renjun had come up with that idea. Donghyuck had strongly advocated for rainbow stripes across all of them, citing his considerable experience with NCT coming up with new and exciting aesthetic concepts as his reason for getting his way. That idea had been shot down immediately, and Renjun had insisted that whoever had given him the notion that he was any good at colour coordinating was either insane or blind. Donghyuck had made a mental note to tell his stylists when he got home—they’d be flattered, he was sure. Either that or they’d kill him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s quite smart, Donghyuck,” Mr Choi said slowly, scratching a spot under his chin thoughtfully. The man seemed to always speak just that little bit slower than everyone else, and Donghyuck couldn't help but partially blame this for his getting distracted earlier. It was easier than admitting to himself that he just wanted to go and play with Jaemin, Chenle and the others, and that he just wanted their conversation to end before lunch did.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, seonsaeng-nim.” He gave the man a polite nod, before extracting one of the sheets of paper from near the top of the stack. “Dejun, you’re in Class A, right?” The older boy nodded, so Donghyuck handed him the sheet. On it, there were three marked sections where students could write their names, underneath a header that stated the year and class. The lists were blank so far, but there was a space for singers, for dancers and for stagehands. “If you think we need anything else, I can change it but—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s great, Hyuck,” Dejun cut in, tilting it to show the man next to him, Mr Kim, who had been trying to peer over his shoulder. Dejun pulled a pen from the breast pocket of his jacket, which was hooked over the back of the chair behind him, and neatly wrote his name in the top box. Then he glanced over at the group still playing around behind Donghyuck and called to one of the boys who had been about to take his turn. “Soonyoung-ah, if Hyuck puts up the audition sheets soon, can you let the rest of your team know to check them?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The dance leader nodded, flashing him a quick thumbs-up before responding. “I’ve told them all, but I’ll drop another message in the group chat. I know that Kunhang said he was keen, but he’s been busy with his solo project. We’ll need to ask him if he’s still down to help out.” He paused. “You said auditions wouldn’t be for another couple of weeks, right?” This time it was Dejun’s turn to nod, eliciting a smile from the other senior. “Great. That’ll give us time to get the first dance showcase out of the way, then we’re all yours.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Perfect,” Dejun said quickly, handing the paper with his name on it back to Donghyuck. “I can speak to Hendery about it, if you want. I’ll see him after school today anyway.” Soonyoung shrugged and Dejun seemed to take that as agreement because he raised his voice slightly and addressed the room. “I know you’re all busy with,” he smiled knowingly at the </span>
  <em>
    <span>jegi </span>
  </em>
  <span>in Soonyoung’s hand, “team bonding exercises, but Donghyuck has the sign-up sheets ready for the auditions next month. If you want to be involved—and I really hope you do, because I assume that’s why you’re all here—make sure you sign up before you leave.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A low murmur of unintelligible responses echoed around the room, as the senior turned his attention back to the teachers at his side. He started to ask them about something to do with the art department, a topic Donghyuck didn't think he needed to provide his input on, so he politely excused himself and took his pile of papers over to the stage area, near where Renjun was still sat with his book.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Having fun?” he asked the boy. He grinned when Renjun pointedly ignored him, his eyes fixed on a single spot on the page he hadn't turned in nearly an hour. Choosing to pick his battles, Donghyuck started to spread the sign-up sheets out in class order across the front of the low stage. He could hear people starting to approach him from behind so he stepped aside to let them pass, not especially surprised to see Chenle making a beeline for the freshmen section, pen in hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This is so exciting,” he enthused, quickly finding the empty page for 10th Grade Class C and picking it up. “I’m only going to be doing backstage stuff this time, but it’s still really cool, hyung.” He clicked the end of his pen a few times, staring down at the page in his hands, before his words fully registered with Donghyuck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait. Why backstage?” He didn't understand. Chenle was the most enthusiastic freshman the drama society had attracted that year, not to mention someone that Donghyuck knew was a natural on a stage. “You should be going for one of the leads.” He likely wouldn’t get a lead; no matter how good he was, Dejun had implied that most of the leads would go to the older students who were graduating sooner, but he had as much right as anyone to try.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I—” Chenle’s face fell, and Donghyuck watched as he carefully placed the paper back down in the spot he had taken it from. “I’m no good at singing. Not anymore.” Donghyuck opened his mouth to disagree with him, to protest, anything, but Chenle continued. “I used to have lessons, back in China, alongside my piano lessons. It was really fun and I really liked performing but, when I moved to Korea with my mom, we couldn’t afford lessons anymore.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.” Donghyuck didn't know what else to say. The Chenle he knew had enjoyed singing and performing since well before Donghyuck even knew how to hold a tune, and he couldn't imagine how hard it must have been for him to give that up. He didn't want to guess at the boy’s circumstances in this reality, but it seemed very different from what he knew of Zhong Chenle.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay,” Chenle said, offering him a small smile. He seemed to force away the lingering sadness because his smile quickly became blinding again. “It’s fine. I’ll just paint sets and help everyone out. Then, when we do a play that doesn’t involve singing, I’ll be the first name on the list.” He tapped the top box of the sign-up sheet, where it read ‘Singing/Acting’.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You still like singing though, right?” Donghyuck jumped at the sound of Renjun’s voice, spinning on his heel to see that his friend had packed up his book and was walking over towards them. He stepped smoothly around Donghyuck, moving to stand next to Chenle.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, yes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So you should still audition,” Renjun told him, before surprising them both by placing an arm lightly around Chenle’s shoulders. He glanced up at Donghyuck, as Chenle seemed to be struggling to decide how to react to this, and Donghyuck could see the truth reflected in the older boy’s eyes. He was doing this for him; he knew how important Chenle was to Donghyuck and, despite not knowing the boy from Adam, he was going to be a friend to him because that was what Donghyuck needed him to do.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I—I wouldn’t even know where to start,” Chenle squeaked. A few other students, including Jaemin and his human shadow, Jisung, chose that moment to approach the sign-up sheets, so Renjun gently steered Chenle through the crowd to rejoin Donghyuck a few steps away. “What if I’m no good?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll help you,” Donghyuck offered quickly, tapping his chest with his palm. “I’m auditioning too, so I’ll need to practice anyway.” He didn't mention just how much practice he would need, considering how out-of-shape his voice had been when he’d performed a medley of his favourites into the showerhead in the bathroom the other morning, but he was confident he could help Chenle enough to get them both audition ready in two weeks. “We can help each other.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chenle just stared at him, mouth open in shock. He blinked a few times, and Donghyuck was a little worried he might have struck the boy completely speechless. It was Renjun who eventually broke the silence, cocking his head to the side a little as he spoke. “Are you sure that’s a good idea, Hyuck? You don’t exactly sing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean, I don’t sing,” he began to reply, “I’m a member of—” He froze, realising his mistake even as he saw Renjun’s eyes widen. He lunged away from Chenle and towards Donghyuck, hand outstretched as if he could cover his mouth in time. He missed, poking Donghyuck in the eye instead, but Donghyuck had already managed to self-censor in time. The younger boy looking on appeared baffled by the whole exchange, but he thankfully didn't question their weird behaviour.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you say, Chenle-yah?” Donghyuck asked, after he and Renjun had both regained their composure somewhat. “Want to try auditioning? It’ll just be Dejun-hyung and the teachers watching on the day. What have you got to lose?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chenle hesitated for a moment, glancing back over at the sheet of paper he had discarded, which was now in Jisung’s hand, before he fixed his gaze back on Donghyuck’s face. He must have seen something there that gave him food for thought, because he puffed out his cheeks and shrugged. “I guess I’ll think about it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hurried over to where Jisung stood, a look of total concentration on the other boy’s face as he wrote his name down on the Class C sheet, and launched into yet another semi-successful attempt to engage Jisung in conversation. Donghyuck couldn’t hear what he said but, while Jisung didn’t speak, he did smile shyly at Chenle and hand over the sheet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I swear those two are on their way to being best friends already,” Donghyuck said to Renjun, who dropped his chin onto Donghyuck’s shoulder from behind as they watched the pair’s predominantly one-sided interaction. He could feel Renjun’s smirk against his shoulder blade, and the boy grunted dismissively. “I can hope, anyway. It’s a start.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It is,” Renjun agreed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The bell rang then to signal the end of lunch and the majority of the students who had gathered in the drama studio started to swarm towards the exit. A few stragglers remained behind, having not yet put down their names in the appropriate place, and Jaemin hovered nearby as he waved for Jisung to leave without him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That boy is really attached to you,” Renjun murmured, as the last freshman girl dropped the pen she had been using onto the stage and sprinted towards the doors, the corners of her far too large blazer flapping like wings behind her as she moved. Donghyuck scooped up the sheets, pleased to see a healthy spattering of names, before shuffling a few quickly so that his colour system was back in place. “It’s adorable. He’s like a baby duckling, following his mom.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, so I’m a mom now, am I?” Jaemin snarked, but his smile told them he hadn't taken Renjun’s words to heart. He was always more relaxed when they were around his fellow dancers, particularly the younger ones who all looked up to him like Jisung did, and Donghyuck liked that he acted more like himself in this room and less like the sullen, love-sick teenager that he became when the three of them were together elsewhere.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You heard me,” Renjun jibed, turning to retrieve their backpacks from where he had stashed them in his study corner at the start of lunch. He handed Jaemin’s to him, before returning Donghyuck’s bag, then they waved goodbye to Dejun, who was waiting impatiently to turn off the lights in the room as they left.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ve got history last, right?” Jaemin asked as they entered the mostly empty hallway, and both Renjun and Donghyuck nodded. “I’ll meet you by Hyuck’s car after class?” Renjun nodded, but the other boy shook his head, waving the sheaf of paper under Jaemin’s nose.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have to put these up after school,” he told them. “I could do it on Monday afternoon, but we have a quiz in English on Tuesday and it’s easier to just get them up today.” With that, he split from his friends, heading for the staircase on the opposite side of the building, which would deliver him closest to his next class.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait!” He stopped, complying with the barked request as Renjun quickly closed the small distance he’d managed to make between them. The older boy brandished an uncapped pen like a sword and Donghyuck was half-tempted to cover his eyes, in case he was about to get poked in the face again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” he asked. Renjun just held out a hand. Not understanding what he wanted, Donghyuck dropped the only thing he held, the slightly crumpled stack of sign-up sheets, onto his awaiting palm. Renjun rifled through them, finding the one with Donghyuck and Jaemin’s names on it, and placed it on top of the pile. Donghyuck frowned. “You want to audition? I didn't think you were interested in any of this stuff.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By this point, Jaemin had sidled up behind Renjun again and was peering over the boy’s shoulder as he scrawled his name near the bottom. “Stagehand?” He frowned down at the back of Renjun’s head. “Why would you want to help backstage?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because,” Renjun said with a sigh, as he handed the stack back to Donghyuck, “I need to keep an eye on both of you somehow. I’m already there three days a week anyway, so I might as well make myself useful. I’m not half bad at art and design, so I figured I could help out with the sets and stuff.” He hesitated, looking up at Donghyuck. “That’s not a problem, is it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not at all,” he replied. “As long as it’s what you want.” He made sure to catch Renjun’s eye, and tried to decipher the emotions he saw on the older boy’s face. Renjun had already done so much for him—him and Jaemin both—and he didn't want Renjun sacrificing his time just out of a sense of obligation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It is,” Renjun insisted, and Donghyuck was relieved to see that the smile that curved his friend’s lips up seemed to be genuine. “Now that that’s settled, we should all get going.” Renjun turned to face Jaemin, who stepped back just in time to avoid an elbow to the gut. “We’re already late for class.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Twenty-five minutes after he was released from his last class of the day, Donghyuck found himself in the main corridor, wielding a staple gun and praying that he didn't accidentally fire one of the thick metal inserts straight into his own thumb. He had successfully put up three of his sign-up sheets, one for each of the senior classes, and he had moved onto the 11th-grade boards, a little further down the long corridor.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Each homeroom class in each grade had a twin pair of thick, fabric-covered boards, which hung on the walls along the main upstairs corridor. Teachers, coaches and clubs alike would affix to them important notices and information for the students in that class throughout the year. Most students checked their class board regularly, so Donghyuck was hopeful that they would get a good number of interested students to sign up and audition over the next few weeks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t a large school, situated in a small town, so Donghyuck only had to visit nine boards, three for each year group. He recalled the dozens of similar boards that had lined every hallway in his actual high school, the one he’d attended in Seoul, and thanked the powers that be that this school wasn't anywhere near that big. He’d have been here after school for hours if that was the case.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was just punching the last staple into Class B’s board—the homeroom class that he, Jaemin and Renjun shared—when he spotted a familiar figure out of the corner of his eye. One Lee Jeno was striding quickly down the hallway towards him, gaze focused into the middle distance as though he had somewhere to be in a hurry. Donghyuck considered trying to say something or make eye contact, but Jeno didn't even seem to notice him as he continued on his way and then disappeared down a side hallway up ahead.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chalking it up to a missed opportunity, Donghyuck collected his belongings and moved onto the next board, which was in the direction Jeno had been heading. As he passed the junction where Jeno had disappeared, he snuck a peek around the corner, but the brown-haired boy was long gone. Disappointed, Donghyuck retrieved the next sheet of paper from his pile and got to work with the staple gun.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Less than two minutes later, he heard the tapping on footsteps on the linoleum floor to his left and looked up just in time to see Jeno coming back out of the side hallway again. He noticed Donghyuck this time—he was hard to miss, on his tiptoes just feet away, stretching up to reach the top corner of the Class C board he was currently affixing a sheet to. Donghyuck flashed him a bright smile over his shoulder, which Jeno seemed confused by, but he returned it with a polite nod before striding off in the direction he had originally come from.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Five minutes after that, Donghyuck was starting to think he was being followed—or maybe that was just wishful thinking. This time, Jeno was striding back down the corridor towards him, carrying a bag of what looked to be soccer balls over his shoulder. The contents made sense, Donghyuck thought to himself, but he couldn’t imagine why Jeno would be carrying them around upstairs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As he watched, Jeno glanced to the side as he passed the Class B board that Donghyuck had recently vacated. His eyes slid vacantly across the items on the board, likely disinterested because he wasn't in that class, and he carried on walking. He had made it another three steps, momentum carrying him along, when he stopped abruptly, soccer balls smacking into the backs of his knees as the strap of the large bag slipped partway off his shoulder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck didn't move, watching with wordless interest as Jeno walked backwards—honest to goodness, backwards, heels first like he was moving in reverse—and stopped level with the Class B board. He set the bag of balls down at his feet and leaned over to look more closely at something pinned to the surface. He pushed his glasses up his nose as he got so close to the wall that Donghyuck thought he might actually touch his nose to it, then stepped back and picked up his cargo again. He set off at speed, almost running the remaining distance to his destination, and then disappeared down the same side hallway again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, that was weird,” Donghyuck muttered to himself, then glanced around to check that he was alone. Unsurprisingly for after school on a Friday afternoon, the corridor was completely empty. Donghyuck knew that some sports teams and clubs stayed late to practice on a Friday, which went some way towards explaining why Jeno was wandering the halls with sports equipment, but the vast majority of the student body was long gone by now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Another few minutes of peaceful silence passed, perforated only by the loud thunk that the staple gun made each time Donghyuck pressed down the handle. He quickly finished up the last of the freshman boards, and was packing away the piece of machinery to return to the classroom he’d borrowed—read: stolen—it from, when he heard someone clear their throat behind him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Excuse me.” He turned, already knowing that he’d find Jeno standing behind him. The deep, calm voice washed over him and he let a brief smile drift across his face. He couldn’t recall Jeno ever saying those particular words to him before—usually, their friendship was much more about affectionately man-handling each other to get what they wanted, rather than asking politely—but it was still a voice he’d recognise anywhere.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello, Jeno-ssi.” He was proud that he had the wherewithal to not use a familiar greeting. For all he knew, this Jeno and he had never actually spoken before; neither Jaemin nor Renjun could recall ever having seen them interact.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” The younger boy seemed taken aback for a moment. “I didn't know that you knew my name.” Donghyuck was about to point out that everyone in the school knew his name, so it definitely wasn't weird, even for him, but Jeno started to speak again. His words came out in a rush this time, almost like he was a little nervous, although Donghyuck couldn’t imagine why.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s Donghyuck, right?” He nodded. “And you’re involved with drama, aren’t you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I am.” He wasn't sure where this was going but the look Jeno was giving him was intense, even for Jeno.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Great. I just have a quick question for you about extra credit.” Donghyuck’s expression must have conveyed his confusion because Jeno waved his hands around in front of himself and huffed out a frustrated breath. “Sorry, let me start again. Okay, so, I’m failing one of my classes—music theory. I took it because I thought it would be fun, but I have so much on my plate with the team and everything.” He paused, then pointed at his chest with one finger. “I’m on the school soccer team. I don’t know if you—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Donghyuck said with a small smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” Again, Jeno seemed genuinely surprised. “I’ve never seen you at any of our games before.” That, at least, was comprehensive proof that it hadn't been him that Jeno and Lucas had been looking at the other night at the game, if he’d still needed it. Which he didn't. “Anyway, I was talking to the teacher, and she said that I could compensate for it by applying for extra credit elsewhere in the arts.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh. Okay…” Donghyuck still didn't quite know what he was trying to get at, but the arts were at least in his wheelhouse. “What do you need from me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was wondering if there was anything I could do to help with the school musical this semester. I can’t make every rehearsal, or whatever you call them, but if I can help with—” he floundered, trying to summon a logical suggestion to offer up to Donghyuck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Costumes?” Donghyuck suggested, and Jeno’s face scrunched up with obvious distaste. He tried again. “Or you could help with the set painting and stuff if you want. You could do that without needing to be there all the time, and we’d always be grateful for the help.” He knew that was more than true; he and Dejun had discussed just days ago how they were often short on help when it came to the not-so-glamorous parts of the production process.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That would be great,” Jeno mused, eyes crinkling up at the corners as he gave Donghyuck a grateful smile. “Can I just,” he gestured at the board and the sign-up sheet behind Donghyuck’s shoulder, “put my name down?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure.” Donghyuck started to ask him if he wanted to borrow a pen, but Jeno was gone so quickly he barely had a chance to even open his mouth. The boy called back a quick thank you as he strode off down the hall, pausing briefly next to one of the boards towards the middle of the hallway to write something down. Then he was gone, leaving a baffled and confused Donghyuck in his wake.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s not…” Donghyuck trailed off, doubting himself for a moment as he collected his stuff from the floor at his feet and followed after Jeno. However, when he reached the board where Jeno had stopped, his suspicions were proven correct as he read the letters pinned to the top of it. </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘11th Grade - Class B’.</span>
  </em>
  <span> This most definitely wasn't Jeno’s class and yet, there his name was, printed in large looping characters directly beneath Renjun’s.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Perhaps he had accidentally written on the wrong sheet, Donghyuck mused, as he made his way down the stairs and out into the parking lot. He was fairly certain that had been the board Jeno had paused at in the first place, before he had approached Donghyuck. Maybe Jeno hadn't realised there were multiple sheets and had just made a mistake, although Donghyuck wasn't entirely convinced by his story in the first place, about already failing a class so early in the semester. He wasn't even sure how that was even possible, come to think of it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Something niggled in the back of his mind, the feeling that he was missing something obvious, but he dismissed it in favour of dumping his bag into the passenger seat and climbing wearily inside his car, turning the heater on full as the chilly air swirled in through the open driver’s door. He would figure it out eventually, but it wouldn’t be tonight. Tonight he wanted to get home, get his homework done and then go to bed. He could worry about Jeno and his strange extra credit tomorrow.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>As always, a huge thank you to everyone who has read this far. We're now at 50k, which is a pretty cool milestone for me. I have no idea how long this will end up being, but that's a lot of words already. This fic almost writes itself sometimes, so it often doesn't feel like that much until I have to scroll down the whole Google Doc to get to the bottom.</p><p>Side Note: One question I get in a LOT of the comments is whether I'll ever get around to telling other-Donghyuck's side of this at some point, or if there is another side to tell. Now, commenting too much on that in itself would be a big spoiler, so I'm going to try to word this as carefully as I can. I can neither confirm nor deny whether there is another side to this story, or whether there is, in fact, another Hyuck existing somewhere else at this particular moment in the timeline. However, if he were, hypothetically, to exist anywhere, I promise that I would make sure that he got a chance to tell his story eventually. You know, if... *waves hands vaguely*</p><p>Anyways, with that, have a wonderful day! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter 18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi. I'm sorry I went MIA for a couple of days there. I'd just gotten myself into a good routine, writing almost every other day, and then a bunch of work deadlines sprung up out of nowhere and I barely even had time to sleep for three days.</p><p>I'll do my best to update again before Saturday if I can, but there will be another chapter up on Saturday for sure!</p><p>Anyway, this chapter is a little bit of a transition one, so is a little quieter plot-wise, but I switched up the POV to try something different. Hopefully, you find it interesting to see a few things from this perspective.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It took Renjun until Wednesday to notice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In his defence, he had been extremely busy with classes and extracurriculars—including attending one he wasn’t strictly even a part of, since he’d thought it would be a good idea to stick close to Donghyuck and Jaemin for the time being, all things considered. He hadn't had much reason to check their class board that week, since the year had barely begun and there wasn’t much on it he hadn’t already seen, so he’d missed it until now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The first giveaway that something was up was the small gaggle of students, girls and boys alike, crowding around the large board outside his last class before lunch. It just so happened that this was the board for his class, which wasn't strange in and of itself. What was strange, however, was that none of the students currently jostling for space were people he knew. He wasn't even sure they were in his year group yet there they were, fighting for a spot by the wall, near the brightly coloured sign-up sheet he’d helped Donghyuck design.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s going on?” he asked a girl towards the back, who ignored him as she stepped around another student to try to get closer to the wall. He frowned, tapping a boy on the back this time, one who thankfully responded. He repeated his question, in response to which the boy pointed a shaking finger towards the board.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lee Jeno,” he said simply, voice low and almost reverent as he spoke the words. Renjun’s mouth fell open in surprise, the name of his unrequited crush the very last thing he’d ever expected to fall from the boy’s lips in that moment. He floundered for a half-beat, mouth working overtime to minimal effect, before he shook himself free from his stupor enough to string a sentence together.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What about him?” he asked, glancing again at the board out of the corner of his eye. One of the students at the front of the group, closest to the wall, had retrieved a pen from her bag and was scribbling furiously on something Renjun couldn’t quite see. “This isn’t even his class. It’s over there.” He pointed down the long hallway to his left, indicating a different, garishly-decorated slab of plaster-board.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My guess is that he was trying to fly under the radar.” Both boys turned their attention quickly to a set of twin girls who were now pushing their way out of the group, one still wielding a pen in front of her torso like a dagger. They must have been the ones at the front that he had just seen, Renjun thought. The one with the pen was grinning widely and looked triumphant, like she was returning home from war. “I’m so glad I noticed though,” she continued, as her twin nodded. “I can’t believe that I might actually be able to spend time in the same room as Jeno-oppa. He might even notice me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Notice us,” the other girl added quietly but was summarily ignored. The first was already striding off down the corridor, pen swinging loosely in her hand at her hip as she almost skipped across the linoleum. Now thoroughly confused, Renjun managed to clear out most of the remaining students by threatening to report them for loitering upstairs during lunch—a move he wasn't particularly proud of, considering he was planning to do exactly the same thing once they were gone, but he had to know what was suddenly so interesting about his class board. Especially if it had something to do with Lee Jeno.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Moving to occupy the newly vacant space, he skirted around three petite freshman girls who were still chattering away to each other in a huddle, and scanned the array of notes, photos and advertisements already littering the space. Nothing stood out, which confused him even further.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was just starting to wonder whether the students had been staging some kind of bizarre protest or impromptu fan meet in honour of the 11th-grade soccer player, who definitely had more than enough admirers to make that sort of farce possible, when his eyes finally landed on his friend’s hopelessly crooked stapling effort.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Auditions for the Winter Musical</span>
  </em>
  <span>, it read, followed by several lines of essential detail that Renjun suspected he knew by heart at this point, having listened to both Donghyuck and Dejun repeat them multiple times, every other day, for the past few weeks. He skipped over the text, quickly finding his own name near the bottom. It was followed by several others, including one immediately below his that made his blood run cold.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Lee Jeno</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The handwriting was a little crude, as if the penmanship had been rushed, but the name was unmistakable. A half a dozen other names stretched out below it, none of which Renjun recognised as belonging to students in his homeroom class, but his gaze was locked onto just three characters. He’d subconsciously scrawled those characters across more pages of his notebooks and sketchbooks at home than he cared to admit, so he knew them well.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Lee. Je. No.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His immediate response was elation, a tiny, all-encompassing volcano of pure joy that spread out from his core and enveloped his whole body, as his mind raced through a million different scenarios in a single heartbeat. For a single second, before the rational part of his brain squashed the dreamer within, he imagined the two of them painting sets side by side—their eyes would meet over a tray of paint, fingers tangling as they reached for the same paint roller, and the rest would be history.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His second response, as if a bucket of ice-cold water had been unceremoniously dumped on top of that first fantasy, was abject panic. His throat went tight and his cheeks flamed, leaving him struggling to breathe as the images in his mind warped and twisted. He could see it now—Jeno watching him embarrass himself over and over in a hundred of the most humiliating ways possible, standing arm in arm with Donghyuck and Jaemin as they all stood by and laughed at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The tiny, merciful sliver of reality left inside his head took a few moments to catch up with his runaway thoughts, but then it finally forced him to turn his back on the board and take a deep breath. With it came clarity and the return of his sanity. He was getting worked up over nothing, and the only logical explanation was that someone had written Jeno’s name down as a prank—perhaps even a prank on Lee Jeno himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun wouldn't put it past most of Jeno’s soccer buddies and, academically challenged as some on the team were, it could easily have ended up on the wrong sheet by mistake. It was merely a coincidence that it was next to his own name, as much as it had initially freaked him out. He had to wonder how long it had been there. Whoever had written it probably hadn’t been expecting it to attract much attention from other students, but they really should have. The boy was a magnet for attention and it would inevitably blow up in their faces, as it had done.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun briefly entertained the notion of going to Jeno—or, more realistically Yukhei, who he probably wouldn’t hyperventilate in front of—and telling him about it, but he chickened out of that idea almost immediately. He wasn't nearly bold enough for that; as always, it was much easier to pretend his crush wasn't going to cause him endless heartache if he continued it far, far away from the individual in question. Instead, he would just let Donghyuck deal with it, like a coward. Better a coward than humiliated and his feelings exposed to the world.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Snapping a picture of the sheet to show Hyuck, he realised he needed to hurry or he would arrive too late to talk to him before the lunchtime drama session got going properly. He started to jog through the hallway, hoping no one was looking too closely, and arrived outside the drama studio just behind an ever-excitable Chenle, who was enthusiastically conversing in Mandarin with a girl that Renjun didn't recognise.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyuck-ah,” he called, stepping inside and immediately spotting his friends in their usual spot near the stage. Jaemin was stretching out his hamstrings on the floor, legs splayed wide and straight as Donghyuck bent over and pulled gently on his outstretched hands. The rest of the room was a hum of noise, and Renjun noted with vague interest that most students were in various forms of gym attire today, but he zeroed in on his friends, crossing the space quickly to reach them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Injunie.” Donghyuck greeted him with a smile, hands still occupied by whatever he was doing to Jaemin. The younger boy just grunted as his nose almost grazed the floor, and Renjun accepted that as the welcome it was. He had quickly come to understand that Jaemin sometimes acted strangely around other people, including him. Renjun had no idea why—one day, he could be as affectionate as Hyuck, and then the next, he would barely speak to anyone—but he’d stopped questioning it after the first few times it happened. He might not understand, but it was all part of Jaemin’s charm. Just like the way Renjun snarked back at people sometimes, to show them that he cared.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You should know, someone vandalised your sign-up sheet, Hyuck. The one for Class B,” he said quickly, watching as Donghyuck frowned and released Jaemin, who slowly eased himself onto his back and started contorting himself into yet another position that Renjun wouldn’t be able to manage in a million years. “Here.” He fished his phone out of his pocket and showed the picture to Donghyuck, who squinted down at the screen for a moment before the brightness auto-corrected enough to allow him to make out the details.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wow,” he said, scooping the device out of Renjun’s fingers to look closer. He stared at it for a few seconds, then looked up to meet Renjun’s eye. “There’s a lot more people on there than there was yesterday. That’s awesome.” He glanced across the room, towards where a group of seniors were busy chatting as they changed into their gym shoes. ”Dejun will be really excited to have such a big backstage team this year.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That's—” Renjun sputtered, narrowing his eyes at the boy in front of him, as he enlarged the image to focus on the name Donghyuck had clearly overlooked. “I’m talking about this!” He stabbed a shaking finger at the screen, over Jeno’s hastily-scrawled name. Again, Donghyuck took the phone from him briefly, gazing intently at it for a few moments, before he let out a loud chuckle. When Renjun’s bleak expression didn't change, he let out a quick gust of air in a sigh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m surprised you didn't notice that before, honestly,” Donghyuck said quickly, lips slowly twisting up in a grin as he watched his friend process his statement. Renjun’s brows furrowed in confusion, so he continued. “He signed up on Friday afternoon, right when I was putting them up. I wasn't going to mention it because I knew you’d—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’d what?” Renjun’s voice cracked and broke as he spoke, so the second word was little more than a squeak. Flushing, he wrapped one hand around his throat, massaging gently as he tried to make sense of Donghyuck’s words. “Wait, you said that he did it himself? Why?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“React like that,” Donghyuck answered casually, waving a hand loosely in Renjun’s direction. He almost didn't notice, focused instead on the phone in Donghyuck’s palm and the image currently emblazoned across it. When he failed to respond, Donghyuck placed a hand gently on his shoulder and squeezed. “As for why, I have no idea. You’d have to ask him yourself.” His smile turned mischievous at that and Renjun groaned, shaking off his touch with a pointed look.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not funny, Hyuck,” he muttered, before rounding on the two boys beside him. Jaemin’s face wasn't visible, so he alternated between eyeing Donghyuck’s smirking face peevishly and staring daggers into the back of Jaemin's head. “Which one of you thought this would be a good idea? I know you must think I’m crazy for pining after him, but other people actually believed this. There were a bunch of people signing up because of him. What are you going to do when they all turn up and find out he’s not coming?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about,” Jaemin told them both, pushing up to his knees so that he could look up at Renjun. The confusion in his eyes seemed legitimate, and they both quickly turned their attention to Donghyuck for answers. He lifted both hands defensively and shrugged.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, I swear I’m telling the truth, Renjun-ah. He asked me about signing up and then he did it. He mentioned something about extra credit.” He paused, eyeing Renjun curiously, his smile fading. “I was actually going to ask you about that, since I obviously have no clue how that type of thing works around here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Extra credit?” Jaemin asked, standing so he could join the conversation properly. “Who signs up to an extracurricular for extra credit? There are so many easier ways to get it.” Renjun couldn't help but agree with him, and his scepticism only grew as Donghyuck quickly explained to them both the conversation he’d had with Jeno in the hallway on Friday. The way that Hyuck spoke so earnestly, and the way his gaze seemed to bore into Renjun’s own so unwaveringly had him convinced, finally, that this wasn't a joke, but that left more questions unanswered than it solved.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That doesn't make any sense,” Renjun told Donghyuck as he finished his story. Shaking his head, he waved his arms in front of him as if a few hand gestures would suddenly help make sense of everything. “I’ve never seen his report card, but I know for a fact that there’s no way that Jeno’s failing that class.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin raised a hand, eyes wide with anticipation, but Renjun cut him off. “No, Jaemin-ah. I don’t actually need to see his report card, even if I believed the receptionists would let you have it.” The younger boy huffed and crossed his arms over his chest, looking like the wind had been taken out of his sails, and Renjun couldn't help the small laugh that escaped him. “Thank you though.” Jaemin smiled at that, so Renjun knew he was forgiven. “Anyway, it’s just not logical.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why not?” Donghyuck asked. “Is it not possible?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, it’s definitely possible,” he replied with a nod. “Just not for Jeno. He has to maintain good grades to stay on the soccer team, and he’s never missed a game.” He thought back to the previous year, and to a conversation he’d overheard one of the other Chinese students having with Yukhei one lunchtime. “He even helped tutor Yukhei in Korean last year, just to make sure he didn't get kicked off the team during our mid-season exams.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn't know that,” Jaemin interjected. “How did you know that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just do,” Renjun answered, shrugging. It wasn't like he needed to detail just how deep his interest in Jeno and, by extension, his close friends ran. It was blindingly obvious to Donghyuck, so Jaemin would have undoubtedly figured it out too. He didn't have to spell it out for him. “Anyway, there’s no way he’d let himself fail a class like that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Weird,” Donghyuck mused thoughtfully. “I knew it sounded like a lie at the time, but I couldn’t be sure. I wonder why he signed up then.” The look Donghyuck sent Renjun’s way said that he had a pretty solid theory, but he didn't share it with them. Renjun decided not to press him on it, realising that he had a far more pressing issue to address, given Donghyuck’s revelation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I guess I’m dropping out then,” he told Donghyuck, clenching his fists at his sides and avoiding eye contact with either of his friends. It was the only way to avoid embarrassing himself in front of Jeno, he knew that to be true, but he couldn't help but feel like he was letting Donghyuck down. “I’m sorry. I’ll just find somewhere else to hide out at lunch instead.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait, why would you quit?” Donghyuck asked, at the same time that Dejun called for everyone to gather in the centre of the room. Renjun eyed his spot in the corner, glad to see it empty as usual, even if he wouldn't be using it much longer. The stagehands would mainly be in the art department during sessions, but he’d have to avoid the whole scene like the plague to avoid any accidental run-ins. “I would have thought that you would want—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because,” he said plainly. Donghyuck’s eyes said he understood, even if he didn't agree, but Jaemin didn't quite have the same tact.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know I don’t particularly like the guy,” Jaemin began, before glancing apologetically over at Donghyuck. “Sorry, I know he’s on your list and all, Hyuck. I just don’t. But that doesn’t mean that you need to run away from him, Renjunie. He’s not exactly intimidating.” For a moment, neither boy spoke, both just staring at Jaemin, then Donghyuck rolled his eyes and sighed wearily.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come on, Jaemin. For someone who has a vested interest in this, you are quite possibly the least observant person I know. Use your brain.” Renjun wasn’t sure exactly what Donghyuck meant, but from the dawning, horrifying realisation on Jaemin’s face, it certainly meant something to him. Jaemin flushed crimson and then fell silent, staring at Renjun with an unreadable expression.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re not quitting,” Donghyuck told him quickly, as he pushed a distracted Jaemin towards the centre of the room, where people were waiting for them. Renjun didn't reply to that, mind already made up that he had no other option, but he settled into his spot without further protest and retrieved his history essay from his bag. He could debate this with Donghyuck later. Much, much later. Maybe even after the musical was over, if he could help it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Forty minutes later, the group of students directly in front of Renjun were putting the finishing touches onto a simple hip-hop dance routine. He had completely forgotten, since it barely concerned him, that today was the day that the dancers had planned to teach the drama students some basic dance moves, since many of them had little or no experience. Those in singing roles probably wouldn’t need to dance too much, from what Renjun recalled Jaemin mentioning about Les Miserables, but Dejun and Soonyoung had agreed that it would boost teamwork and morale to teach each other new skills.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There were small several groups dotted around the room, and snippets of various upbeat songs had been mingling in the air around him throughout the session, each group using different ideas and techniques to choreograph a simple dance routine. The dancers had been showing off a little, much to the awe and amusement of the drama students—and Renjun too, if he was honest, after he’d given up on his homework—but there was a sense of camaraderie among the group now that hadn't been there before.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How do you even make your body do that?” Renjun heard Chenle ask breathlessly. He glanced up to see Chenle poking at Jisung’s arm as the freshman practically vibrated each part of his body individually. He wasn't sure what kind of dance that was, but he could admit it was impressive. Chenle seemed to agree, because he was suddenly begging for Jisung to teach him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Really?” It was the first word Renjun thought he’d ever heard from the boy, who always seemed uncomfortable and awkward around everyone except Jaemin. He knew he did talk to Jaemin sometimes too, because the other boy had spoken several times of Jisung’s surprisingly dry sense of humour when in his element, but he had yet to experience any of that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn't catch what Chenle said in response, distracted momentarily by a sweaty Donghyuck dropping down to the floor beside him, but the next time he saw the pair they were huddled together, both boys speaking rapidly as they conversed with one another. He pointed them out to Donghyuck, who was busy wiping his forehead with the collar of his shirt, and the boy smiled so widely when he saw that Renjun thought his face might break.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad they’re finally getting along,” he told Donghyuck earnestly, both of them watching as Jisung grinned—actually grinned—at something Chenle said. In response, Chenle’s whole face lit up as though he’d just been given the best gift in the world, and he returned the smile immediately.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Me too.” Donghyuck shifted slightly so that he leant against Renjun’s arm, Renjun instinctively moving closer at almost the same moment to allow him to make himself comfortable. He hadn't even realised he’d moved until Donghyuck’s head landed on his shoulder, but he liked how intuitive things had become between the two of them. Renjun knew that there was a lot more going on in Donghyuck’s life than their friendship, but he was grateful that Hyuck seemed increasingly comfortable to lean on him for support—both physically and emotionally.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Hyuck?” he started to ask, thinking back to their previous discussion of a certain handsome soccer player, but the pocket of Donghyuck’s jacket chose that moment to vibrate behind them on the floor, halting the train of thought he’d been about to embark upon. Reaching a hand out blindly behind his body, so as to avoid dislodging Donghyuck, he managed to pull the phone free, handing it to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s from Jaehyun-hyung,” Donghyuck said after a moment, staring down at the screen as he swiped up to view the message. Renjun knew that it had been a while since Jaehyun had been home, not since Donghyuck and he had worked through their differences a few weeks back, and he also knew that Hyuck missed him. They had been texting back and forth, but Jaehyun had initially mentioned some issues with one of his roommates and then he’d had assignments that had kept him busy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did he ever agree to you visiting him?” he asked, as Donghyuck read whatever was on the screen. The brothers had discussed it several times since he’d asked, but Jaehyun had always been reluctant to agree. Donghyuck thought it had something to do with not wanting to introduce his kid brother to his college friends but, whatever the reason, Donghyuck hadn’t stopped asking. The boy was nothing if not persistent, which was endearing when you weren’t on the other end of it. Renjun secretly suspected Jaehyun would give in eventually, just to get Hyuck to stop asking.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s what this is about, actually.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Really?” He was surprised. He’d just thought about it, sure, but he hadn’t expected that to be what Jaehyun was messaging about.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, partially.” Donghyuck angled his phone so Renjun could see. There were two messages on the screen. The first, just as Donghyuck had said, was offering for him to drive up on Friday after school and to stay overnight at Jaehyun’s dorm. The second...well, the random sequence of numbers and miscellaneous punctuation that followed was completely beyond Renjun’s comprehension.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What does that mean?” He pointed at the second message, and Donghyuck’s silent laugh shook his shoulder in response.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have no idea.” As they pondered the possible explanations for Jaehyun’s use of twelve ampersands in a row, the phone lit up again, this time with his brother’s caller ID. Donghyuck pushed up off of Renjun, folding his legs in front of him, and pressed the phone to his ear as he answered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyung?” Renjun couldn’t make out what was being said on the other end, but the sounds of several different voices blended cacophonously as they threatened to overwhelm the speaker in the small device. Donghyuck pulled it away from his ear a little, wincing as the chaos continued to rage, and fumbled for the volume control on the side.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I can definitely hear you,” Donghyuck said with a smile, nodding even though his brother wouldn’t be able to see the movement through the phone. He sighed good-naturedly as someone said something on the other end, then nodded again. “And I can hear you too.” He paused, then grinned. “Of course I’m excited to meet you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The studio was starting to empty rapidly as students left early to change out of their gym wear, leaving only a handful of people scattered around the room. Renjun watched Chenle and Jisung leave together, still talking animatedly to one another, as Jaemin headed over and dropped down heavily on Renjun’s other side. Donghyuck turned to them and grimaced apologetically, before focusing his attention back on the call.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m with Renjun and Jaemin.” Donghyuck raised an eyebrow at the two boys in question. “I’ll tell them, don’t worry.” He listened intently for another few moments, then grinned. “Can’t wait. I’ll see you on Friday, hyung.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What was that all about?” Jaemin asked Renjun, as Donghyuck ended the call and reached around the older boy to drop his phone back on top of his jacket. Renjun shrugged, and Donghyuck took up explaining duties.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That was Jaehyun-hyung...,” he paused, “...and Yuta-hyung. They both say hi.” The name rang a bell and Renjun found himself on the same mental page as Donghyuck almost immediately, as the younger boy pointed at Renjun’s pocket. “I guess you can go ahead and tick Yuta off already. That man is a force of nature everywhere in the universe, apparently.” He smiled again, and the feeling was infectious. “That second message was from Yuta. Jaehyun-hyung never actually told any of his roommates he had a brother—for obvious reasons—so they’re very excited to meet me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The bell rang then, and the three of them scrambled to their feet quickly, realising that they would be late yet again. Donghyuck and Jaemin were still out of uniform, so it was inevitable at this point. Renjun would need to be careful, he thought, or he’d start getting into trouble for being late repeatedly. It would be worth it, of course. It was so worth it, but he still needed to be careful. He didn't want his mom finding out, because she would end him, newly rekindled social life be damned.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next chapter, (I think) we'll be heading to college (probably). Definitely in the next two, at least. I know some of you are excited for that, so get your guesses in for roommates early... Who are we meeting next? :)</p><p>As always, have a wonderful day! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Chapter 19</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So this whole college visit was meant to be just one chapter, but then I got to nearly 6k and I was only about halfway through, so you'll get the rest (hopefully) tomorrow. Brevity...I definitely don't know her.</p><p>Anyway, in this chapter, we get some Jaehyun backstory, a light dash of f-f-foreshadowing, and I play fast and loose with the concept of the Greek collegiate system. It's not a perfect recreation, partly because I'm not American and partly because it wouldn't work properly even if I was, but go with me on this. :) </p><p>Fair Warning: I mention nothing major specifically in this one, but college kids are college kids in this fic. They will curse and they will drink, since the legal drinking age in Korea is 19 and Jaehyun is a sophomore. If that's an issue for you, I wouldn't recommend reading any further.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Donghyuck’s last class that Friday afternoon seemed, at least from his perspective, to last for an eternity. Every five or so minutes, he surreptitiously checked his phone under the table, staring down at his newest message from Jaehyun as if to check that it hadn’t vanished since the last time he’d checked. The few lines of text on screen were nothing special, just the address of his brother’s dorm on the university campus one town over, but they stirred up an overwhelming cocktail of emotions inside him that made concentrating on foreign languages almost impossible.</p><p> </p><p>For the remainder of the hour, having quickly resigned himself to not getting any productive work done, he watched the clock, cursing how slowly the second hand seemed to move when it was being observed. Finally, however, the bell rang to signal the end of class and the student body surged towards the classroom door en masse, Donghyuck at its helm. He managed to get ahead of the majority of the crowd in the hallway by brute force, quickly making his way out into the parking lot and over to the well-situated parking space he’d scoped out early that morning for a quick getaway.</p><p> </p><p>His overnight bag was already on the passenger seat as he climbed in, and he’d said his goodbyes to his friends at lunch, so there was nothing left to do but plug the address into his phone’s maps app and crank the volume on the radio. He pulled out onto the main road a few minutes later, the line of cars behind him already starting to tailback around the building, and settled back into his seat to get comfortable. It wasn't a long drive, but he hoped that the hour or so predicted by the satnav would be enough to help calm his nerves.</p><p> </p><p>He’d almost gotten cold feet in the class immediately after lunch, texting Renjun from a locked stall in the nearby bathroom to ask if he maybe ought to call Jaehyun and tell him he wasn't coming after all. The older boy had come and found him, trekking from a classroom across the opposite side of the building just to reassure him that he had nothing to be worried about.</p><p> </p><p>“What if they don’t like me, Injunie?” he’d asked, voicing for the first time the fears that had been bubbling up inside him since he’d spoken to Jaehyun and Yuta on Wednesday. He hadn't been able to fully make sense of his fear, knowing it was irrational to be more nervous about meeting his hyungs than he had been about meeting the members that were in school with him, but logic hadn't done much to dissipate his worry over the past two days.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s not to like?” Renjun had said stoically, staring him down when he’d begun to protest. “Donghyuck, they’re your family. You’ve said it yourself; they all adore you where you’re from.” He’d tried to protest again, but Renjun had simply folded his arms and glower in a way that made him swallow his words. “They might not know you here yet but, when they do, they will love you all over again. They’d be idiots not to.”</p><p> </p><p>That had been the end of that debate, without another word from either of them. Donghyuck had returned to his class, waiting out the rest of the day with a slightly smaller knot of anxiety in his gut, and Renjun had disappeared off to whatever elective he’d been in when he’d dropped everything to reprise his role as the wisest person Donghyuck knew—yet again.</p><p> </p><p>Over two hours later, Donghyuck pulled up on the side of the street, squinting down at the phone on the dashboard in front of him as he tried to make sense of the coloured squiggles on the map on the screen. He hated to admit it, but he was pretty sure he was hopelessly lost. The address Jaehyun had given him was correctly inputted, he’d checked that three times already as he’d driven slowly around campus in circles, but the location marker didn't make any sense.</p><p> </p><p>He’d spotted a sign for the main campus quickly, after leaving the main road that connected this town to the one he’d just left. Half a mile later, there had been another sign, this one indicating that he was getting close to the university dorms, but the navigation guidance had taken him straight past that exit and into a far more residential area. It wasn't exactly like the neighbourhood where his own house was situated, there were far too many college-age people populating the sidewalks for that, but there definitely wasn't a single dorm in sight by the time the disembodied voice on his phone announced he’d arrived at his destination.</p><p> </p><p>“Lee Donghyuck, that is clearly not a dorm,” he muttered to himself, peering out of his window at the vast brick structure that sprawled out in either direction from where he’d parked his car. It wasn't quite a mansion, he thought to himself, but the house was certainly bigger than any other residence he’d seen since he’d woken up in this reality. There was a large sign above the door, which he thought might hold some answers, but the dimming light and his lack of comprehension of the strange language made deciphering it impossible. He’d initially dismissed the place entirely the first time he’d pulled up outside, choosing instead to drive up and down the row of equally massive houses in search of something that looked more like what he expected of a dorm, but this was definitely where the map wanted him to be.</p><p> </p><p>Palming his phone, he found Jaehyun’s number and dialled. The phone was linked to the audio system inside the car, so he let the device and his hands rest loosely in his lap as he listened to it ring once, twice, and then keep ringing. A bit further up the street, a pair of girls were leaving one of the other houses, laughing with one another as they crossed the road and started to walk off in the opposite direction. He watched as they linked arms and easily fell into step with each other, distracted enough by their footfalls that the sound of Jaehyun’s voice made him jump.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyuck-ah?” Jaehyun’s deep tone was amplified by the speaker system in the car, making it sound like his disembodied voice was speaking to Donghyuck from all directions at the same time, with a little extra bass in his left ear for reasons Donghyuck couldn't explain. “Where are you?” He could hear another voice in the background, but he couldn't quite make out the words, so he assumed Jaehyun was with at least one of his roommates. He didn't want to disturb them if they were all home, having fun as they waited for him, but he thought he’d probably need someone to come and find him. For all he knew, he could be miles from the dorms at this point.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not sure, hyung,” he answered honestly, peering up at the house next to him again. “I used the address you sent, but I’m not at the dorms. I ended up outside some house somewhere instead.” He considered trying to describe it to his brother but figured that probably wouldn’t help much. There were a lot of big houses on this street and only so many ways to describe bricks and mortar. “I don’t have a clue <em> where </em> I am.”</p><p> </p><p>There was a long pause, then Jaehyun groaned. He heard a brief rustling sound in the background, as though several people were moving around inside a room made of tissue paper, and then a door slamming. “Damn it. I forgot that I never told you. Are you still outside the house, Donghyuck?” He nodded, then remembered that Jaehyun wouldn’t be able to see that.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.” He reached out and touched a finger to the key that was still in the ignition. “I’m parked on the kerb outside.” The sound of another door being closed loudly assaulted his ears from multiple angles and then the background noise died away abruptly, leaving only the faint sound of Jaehyun breathing into the receiver on his end. “Why?”</p><p> </p><p>“Hang on,” the older man told him. “I’ll be out in a second.”</p><p> </p><p>Jaehyun didn't immediately disconnect the call, which Donghyuck was grateful for as he scanned his surroundings. Another small crowd of students passed by the car as he waited, several of the men breaking off from the group as they reached the house and heading inside. He got a few strange looks from the remaining students, huddled together on the kerb before they continued on their way, but then Jaehyun emerged through the large, double doors at the front of the house and took the steps two at a time as he hurried towards the car.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey,” he said breathlessly, as Donghyuck stepped out of the car and allowed the man to pull him into a tight hug. “I’ve missed you, little brother.” Donghyuck’s lips split into a broad grin and he pressed his face into Jaehyun’s shirt. His fingers still grasped his phone as he wrapped his arms around Jaehyun’s waist, ignoring the loud squeal of interference from the car stereo as both phones ended up in close enough proximity to start producing looping feedback through the speakers.</p><p> </p><p>“Missed you too, hyung.” Jaehyun released him reluctantly, and Donghyuck stepped back to look up at the man smiling affectionately down at him. “I was starting to think I’d never find you.” His eyes momentarily flicked to the house behind them, the one Jaehyun had just vacated, and, when he returned his gaze to his brother, he noticed that Jaehyun’s ears had gone red. “I’m guessing this isn't your dorm.”</p><p> </p><p>“Not exactly,” Jaehyun admitted, as the blood rose in his cheeks to match the tips of his ears. He glanced over his shoulder, before indicating Donghyuck’s car with a wave of his hand. “Grab your stuff and I’ll explain on the way inside.” Finally remembering that they were both wasting money and battery life on a phone call they no longer needed, Jaehyun disconnected his device as Donghyuck collected his bag and locked the car quickly. Then Jaehyun wrapped an arm around his shoulders, steering him towards the large house that he’d driven past too many times to count that afternoon already.</p><p> </p><p>“What does that say?” Donghyuck asked, before Jaehyun had the chance to launch into any sort of explanation, pointing up at the large sign above the door. From this angle, as they approached the house head-on, he could see that the sign was actually built into the eaves of the house. It looked to be made of smooth stone, like marble, and the lettering carved into it was unlike anything he’d ever seen before, outside of images he could vaguely recall seeing in some of his old world history textbooks. There were three characters in total, each carved to span the height and width of at least half an average-sized human, and they loomed imposingly over the whole street, lit from below by three tiny spotlights as the evening closed in around them.</p><p> </p><p>“They’re Greek letters,” Jaehyun explained, pointing to the one on the far left with his free hand as he spoke. “That’s the symbol <em> alpha </em> , which is the first letter in the Greek alphabet. The other two,” his finger tracked across accordingly, “are the symbols for the letters <em> beta </em> and <em> eta </em>.” He glanced down at Donghyuck, whose mouth hung open slightly as he stared up at the foreign text in fascination.</p><p> </p><p>“What does it mean?” he asked. Jaehyun laughed softly, his fingers tightening their grip on Dongyuck’s shoulder as they approached the door to the house. Again, Jaehyun pulled it open with his free hand, not releasing his brother even as they had to twist sideways slightly to make it through the doorway together.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s the name of my college fraternity. Alpha Beta Eta.” Here, just inside the doorway, Jaehyun paused, allowing Donghyuck to get a good look at the vast interior that sprawled out in front of them. He blinked up at what looked to be a cast-iron chandelier, dangling at least eight feet above their heads, as Jaehyun continued to speak. “I’ve—well, I haven’t been exactly lying, since mom has never actually asked, but I don’t live in the dorms anymore. I haven’t since my second semester last year.”</p><p> </p><p>At its most basic, Donghyuck knew what a college fraternity was. He’d seen his fair share of American movie releases, so he understood the concept. However, he struggled to reconcile that image, which was often painted as one of chaotic young adult rebellion, with excess drinking and partying, with the mild-mannered man at his hip. The Jaehyun he knew, in both realities, had never seemed the type to get involved in something like this, or at least Donghyuck didn't think he was.</p><p> </p><p>“You said you had five roommates,” was the only thing Donghyuck could think to interject, taking in the three massive sofas situated in this first entryway alone. From the outside, he wasn't sure how many people could comfortably fit into this house, but he suspected that number was much closer to fifty than five.</p><p> </p><p>“Ah.” Jaehyun nodded in understanding, reaching around Donghyuck to take his overnight bag from him, before grabbing his hand. “That’s easier to simply show you.” Donghyuck allowed the man to pull him through several vast hallways, all leading deeper towards the rear of the house. As they walked, they passed dozens of closed doors on either side of each hallway, each boasting a small, metal plaque with several names embossed on it, and Donghyuck was inclined to adjust his estimated capacity up once again.</p><p> </p><p>Eventually, they reached another door, one that was open and led out into a large, open garden area. They passed a few other male students standing together on the terrace outside, each of whom approached Jaehyun to offer him a fist bump or a word of greeting, before they arrived at a much smaller building, which sat nestled at the far end of the neat, sloped lawn area. An almost identical, yet somewhat miniaturised stone carving sat over the entrance to this building too, the now-familiar Greek symbols carved in stone for the world to see. It wasn't nearly as imposing as the main house had been, but it still looked fancy and expensive.</p><p> </p><p>“We call this building the Annex,” Jaehyun told him, pushing open the door and waving Donghyuck inside. “It was built a decade or so ago, when the Korean chapter of the frat expanded so much that there wasn't enough room left in the main house.” Donghyuck couldn't begin to imagine how many people that would need to be, considering the number of doors he’d seen on the ground floor alone, but he nodded anyway. “There are ten bedrooms in the Annex in total, but only six of us live here at the moment.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, five now, actually,” Jaehyun added, shrugging. “There were six, but not anymore.” His face fell as he said this, and there was clearly something painful behind his words, so Donghyuck quickly changed the subject.</p><p> </p><p>“I like it better in here,” he said, taking in the homely, relaxed decor of the compact living space around him. “I much prefer it to the main house.” There had been an awful lot of marble, wood and polished metal in the larger building, from what he’d seen so far. Donghyuck imagined that it would be murder to keep it all clean, whereas this room looked profoundly lived in. There was a pair of Xbox controllers abandoned on a low coffee table in front of a large, lumpy-looking couch, a precariously stacked pile of magazines and textbooks on the floor by the window, and several pairs of shoes piled haphazardly in the corner by the door.</p><p> </p><p>“Me too,” Jaehyun agreed softly, then strode over to the base of a narrow staircase on the far side of the room and shouted up at whoever was upstairs. “I’m back with my brother.” There was a rumble of footsteps against the ceiling above his head, then Donghyuck saw two very familiar figures hurtling down the stairs towards them, followed by another, distinctly slower individual.</p><p> </p><p>“Donghyuck-ah!” He was almost catapulted against the exterior wall by the force of the impact, as Yuta crossed the living room in a few long strides and swept him into a bear hug. He froze in surprise for a moment, during which Yuta seemed to sense his hesitation and started to pull away again, but then he wrapped his arms around Yuta’s waist, tucking his forehead into the older man’s shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ve missed you,” he whispered into Yuta’s shirt, knowing that there was no way of anyone hearing him. He couldn't help it, desperately needing to speak the words into the universe as he let Yuta’s scent and energy envelop him and burrow into every pore. He pulled the man closer, which he thought Yuta would probably find strange for their first meeting, but his hands had a mind of their own as they gripped the back of his t-shirt.</p><p> </p><p>“Hi,” he said a few moments later as Yuta released him, this time speaking at a normal volume. The man in front of him beamed, flashing his teeth in a grin so wide he rivalled Jaemin on a good day for exuberance. Donghyuck tried to feed off his positivity but he couldn't help but hate the next words that left his lips, even as he knew that they were necessary in this situation. As natural as that hug had felt, this Yuta barely knew him yet. “I’m guessing you must be Yuta-ssi.”</p><p> </p><p>“Call me hyung,” the older man said without hesitation, clapping a hand down onto Donghyuck’s shoulder and squeezing gently. “Any brother of Jaehyunie is a brother of mine.” Donghyuck grinned and nodded, grateful for his quick offer. It would make life a lot easier, without having to be careful to address him formally until they were more familiar. Behind them, someone else let out a quiet, deliberate cough, and Yuta spun them around to face the other two newcomers.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s very nice to meet you, Donghyuck,” the nearest man said, and Donghyuck found himself being passed into Jungwoo’s awaiting embrace. “I’d like to say I’ve heard a lot about you, but Jaehyun kept you a closely guarded secret.” This hug wasn't as all-encompassing, and it ended much quicker, but Donghyuck still squeezed his eyes closed and let himself relax into his hyung’s embrace as much as he was able. He didn't say the words out loud this time, even under his breath, but a continuously repeated chorus of <em> love you, miss you </em>cycled through his head as the seconds ticked by.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s nice to meet you too.” He forced himself not to say Jungwoo’s name, knowing that it had yet to be mentioned by Jaehyun. Thankfully, however, the man made his introduction quickly and extended the same offer of familiarity as Yuta had, before allowing Donghyuck to finally turn his attention to the third, silent addition to the room.</p><p> </p><p>“Hello.” He waved shyly at his dearly beloved hyung, wanting nothing more than to run to him and leap into his arms. His heart stuttered in fear as the man stayed oddly silent, staring at him without moving for a beat too long, then an arm was extended to him politely. He blinked back a tear at the man’s rigid posture and tight smile, but greedily accepted what was offered. He’d take anything, as long as they were willing to accept him all over again. Grasping the proffered hand, he shook it firmly. “It’s nice to meet you.”</p><p> </p><p>“You too,” the man said quietly, only making eye contact with him for a few seconds at a time, in between loaded glances at each of the others over Donghyuck’s shoulder. “My name is Moon Taeil. Welcome to Alpha Beta Eta.” As Donghyuck knew he often was among strangers in his own reality, this Taeil was a man of few words thus far, but just the unmistakable cadence of his voice filled Donghyuck with a sense of warmth and longing. His oldest brother had been on his mind a lot over the last few weeks, such was the void his absence had left in Donghyuck’s heart, so seeing him again was a blessing that Donghyuck was determined to cherish, however briefly.</p><p> </p><p>“Taeil-hyung is our chapter President,” Jaehyun explained, stepping up to stand beside the two of them when Taeil didn't offer up anything further in the way of conversation. “He graduated last year, but he stayed on at the university as a graduate student.” Jaehyun smiled affectionately at Taeil, whose gaze softened as he met the younger man’s eye. “We voted unanimously for him to stay on as President, even though his term was technically up at the end of last year.”</p><p> </p><p>“Which I’ve told you repeatedly was a mistake,” Taeil said, his voice neutral but with the barest hint of a smile curving one corner of his mouth. “I still maintain that there were several better-qualified seniors this year, including you, Yuta, but I can’t say I wasn’t flattered.”</p><p> </p><p>“There are a hundred and fou—” Yuta quickly did some counting on his fingers. “A hundred and three of us now, and there’s no one better, hyung.” Taeil did smile properly then, and Donghyuck’s heart did a little flip of happiness at the sight. He vowed to make it his mission to have Taeil smile at him like that at least once before he went home tomorrow, whatever it took.</p><p> </p><p>“Where’s Dongyoung-hyung?” Jaehyun asked, diverting everyone’s attention from Taeil. “I thought he’d be here.” Jungwoo glanced down at the watch on his wrist, before his gaze shifted towards the door. Jaehyun sighed and nodded, seeming to understand without anything being said, but Jungwoo answered him anyway.</p><p> </p><p>“His evening class isn't over until seven, so he’ll be a while yet.” Jungwoo glanced down at Donghyuck’s bag in Jaehyun’s hand thoughtfully. “Hyung, maybe you should take Donghyuck upstairs and show him to his room.”</p><p> </p><p>“My room? I thought—” Donghyuck started to speak but Jaehyun sent him a meaningful look that had him closing his mouth quickly, cutting off his next question. When his brother moved, heading towards the staircase, he followed, waving goodbye to the three men in the living room. Yuta returned his wave happily from his spot in the middle of the room, while Jungwoo moved to sink onto the couch and Taeil simply watched his departure with detached interest.</p><p> </p><p>Once the two of them were upstairs, far enough away that he wouldn't be overheard, Jaehyun stopped walking and turned to look at Donghyuck. “Sorry about that, Hyuck,” he said, speaking softly so that his voice wouldn't carry. “It’s a touchy subject, especially at the moment, and I didn't want to upset Taeil-hyung.”</p><p> </p><p>“What is?” Donghyuck asked, confused, but Jaehyun led him to a closed door halfway down the corridor before he answered. Pushing it open, he shifted so that Donghyuck could see the interior. It was partially furnished, the bed stripped bare but with a few personal items scattered around in a way that looked like it had been lived in and then vacated in a hurry.</p><p> </p><p>“I mentioned before that I had five roommates,” the older man started to explain, placing Donghyuck’s bag down on the floor at his feet. “You’ve met three of them, and I also mentioned Dongyoung-hyung before.” Donghyuck nodded, and Jaehyun ran a hand through his hair as he considered his next words carefully. “Our sixth roommate was an international student from the United States.”</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck’s breath hitched at his brother’s words, wondering if that student could have been someone he knew, but Jaehyun’s next sentence divested him of that fear immediately. “Daniel was from our main chapter in Texas—I forget exactly what university—but he was here to study international relations abroad.” Jaehyun’s expression was dark and solemn as he spoke, and Donghyuck couldn't fail to note the deliberate use of past tense.</p><p> </p><p>“What happened?”</p><p> </p><p>“First off, you have to understand, Hyuck, that I’m not the same person I was before I left for college,” Jaehyun began. He moved over towards the bare mattress on the bed in the half-lived-in room and sank down onto it. Donghyuck stayed in the doorway, watching him intently. “This frat is well known for our,” he hesitated for a moment, “particularly extravagant lifestyle on campus. We host most of the biggest parties each semester, and it often gets pretty rowdy. I’m not proud of it, but I went a little bit off the rails as a freshman last year.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why?” Donghyuck asked, but the haunted look in Jaehyun’s gaze as they locked eyes told him just about everything he needed to know.</p><p> </p><p>“Things at home were so bad back then that it felt like I was escaping.” <em> Escaping from you </em>, Donghyuck filled in for him in his head, but Jaehyun didn't say the words. He didn't need to. “When I got here, I was so excited to start over, and joining a fraternity seemed like a great way to do that.” Donghyuck nodded. He could see why he might think that, however out of character it was for the Jaehyun he knew.</p><p> </p><p>“I pledged Alpha Beta Eta, not really expecting to get in. They are notorious for being the most popular frat, and they had way more pledges than spare beds last year, but I guess Taeil-hyung saw something he liked in me.” Jaehyun smiled then, glancing down at the floor as though he could see the older man through the wood panelling below his feet. “He really isn’t interested in all the partying and the chaos that goes on in the main house. That’s why he claimed the Annex as his own when he became President last year.”</p><p> </p><p>“But he lets it happen though?” Donghyuck asked incredulously, surprised that the quiet grad student wouldn't have stopped things if they were that outrageous.</p><p> </p><p>“He steps in if things go too far,” Jaehyun admitted with a shrug. “He’s the President, and that comes with a lot of influence, but he can’t change history that much on his own. The members need to make their own choices and Alpha Beta Eta has a reputation for a reason, no matter how much Taeil-hyung has changed things for the better. You should hear some of the stories from the US chapters—actually, maybe you shouldn’t. You’re still a baby.”</p><p> </p><p>“Am not,” Donghyuck said with a huff, and Jaehyun snorted with laughter at the indignant look on the boy’s face. “Anyway, continue. I’m not judging your life choices, but I don’t see what that has to do with your roommate.”</p><p> </p><p>“Right. Daniel.” Jaehyun sighed again, scrubbing a hand across his face wearily. “Like I said, it can get pretty rowdy up in the main frat house. Daniel and I became good friends after he got here early last year. He was a sophomore and I was a freshman pledge with nothing to lose. I was excited that he wanted to be my friend, and I let him influence me into making some decisions I regret.” Donghyuck half wanted to inquire further but decided it was probably better that he didn't know.</p><p> </p><p>“Eventually, Taeil-hyung moved us both into the Annex to keep an eye on us. It was only a matter of time before one of us got into more trouble than we could get out of on our own, so he stepped in.” Jaehyun’s expression became reverent for a moment as he reminisced. “That’s why he was unanimously re-elected this year,” he explained. “He’s not the most forceful leader, but he cares about us all, and he saved me from doing something I’d regret.”</p><p> </p><p>“What about the others? Yuta-hyung and Jungwoo-hyung. Why are they here?”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, Jungwoo is a legacy pledge,” Jaehyun said, and Donghyuck imagined he was supposed to know what that meant when Jaehyun didn't elaborate further, “but the other two have their own stories to tell.” His lips pursed briefly before he continued the story Donghyuck had interrupted yet again. “Anyway, Daniel and I tried to reign in our behaviour after that. We still got into some shit, and there are a whole lot of nights that I barely remember, but I found a sort of healthy medium. He didn't.”</p><p> </p><p>Jaehyun’s gaze landed on a notebook that sat on the bedside table next to him. Picking it up, he flipped it over a couple of times in his hands, before dropping it onto the bed beside him. “That Saturday when I came over to the house a few weeks ago, Daniel and Dongyoung got into a huge argument over an incident at a party the night before. The police got called and Taeil-hyung got dragged in front of the university disciplinary committee over it. Daniel refused to admit to being behind it, but we all knew it was him.” Jaehyun tapped the cover of the notebook with his fingers absently, staring into the middle distance without really focusing on anything. “I know it killed him to do it, but Taeil-hyung reported him and Daniel got sent back to America.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry, hyung,” Donghyuck said, crossing the small space to sit next to Jaehyun, wrapping his fingers around one of Jaehyun’s arms in solidarity. This had clearly affected his brother deeply, as it would have also affected the others downstairs, and Donghyuck understood now why Jaehyun had seemed so absent the last few weeks. He felt instantly guilty over the way he’d pressured the older man to let him visit. “That’s why you didn't want to invite me. I shouldn’t have forced you to let me come. I didn't know. I’m sorr—”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t be,” Jaehyun said quickly, cutting him off. He extracted his arm from Donghyuck’s grip and wrapped it around his shoulders again. “I shouldn't have burdened you with all of that.” He smiled weakly down at Donghyuck. “I wanted you to know the truth, especially since this side of me will be impossible to hide while you’re here, but I’m really glad you came.” He squeezed tighter, and Donghyuck practically melted into his side. “I wasn't lying when I said I wanted us to be close again. This way, by laying everything out in the open, we can be. I’m not the crazed party-animal I was last year anymore, but I’d be lying if I said I didn't still enjoy the freedoms that college has offered me. I hope you can understand and accept that, Hyuckie.”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course, hyung.” It wasn't even a question. This might all be entirely alien to him, but what wasn't these days? He was just grateful that Jaehyun had felt able to be honest with him. He didn't know if he would ever be able to reciprocate that honesty, not about who and what he really was, but it was a step towards a healthy relationship between them.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m glad,” Jaehyun told him quietly, before glancing over at the open doorway. “Just so you know, I’d appreciate it if you didn't bring any of this up with the rest of them.” He nodded towards the floor, indicating that he was referring to his roommates downstairs. “It’s been a tough few weeks for all of us, and they’re still a bit sensitive about it.” Donghyuck agreed immediately and Jaehyun smiled appreciatively down at him.</p><p> </p><p>“Now that’s all out of the way, you have a choice to make, little brother. Taeil-hyung suggested you might be more comfortable in here tonight, but you’re welcome to sleep in my room with me if you’d prefer.”</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck quickly took in the knick-knacks, assorted stationery and books taking up space on the desk and shelves by the window, along with the notebook on the bed next to Jaehyun, and put two and two together immediately. “This was his room, wasn't it?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah. The other spare rooms are locked at the moment because they’re not in use. I guess I could ask Taeil-hyung for the key if you want, but that would be a hassle…” Donghyuck waved a hand dismissively in front of him before Jaehyun decided that would be a good idea.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s fine. I don’t need another room.” He hesitated, eyeing a single black dress-shoe that lay on its side on the floor by the empty wardrobe, before turning his attention back onto Jaehyun’s face. “Can I stay with you? This room feels like it’s waiting for someone to come back.” Daniel, his mind supplied, whoever this mystery sophomore had been, but he knew that wouldn't be a helpful thing to say right now.</p><p> </p><p>“Of course. My bed is more than big enough for both of us.” Jaehyun picked up the notebook again, placing it back onto the table it had come from. “As for this room, Dongyoung-hyung has been saying he’ll clear it out for over a week. We’ll almost certainly get another international transfer at some point this year, probably from the US or from Europe—whichever chapter they decide to send someone from—so it won’t be empty for long. The international transfers always stay in the Annex.” He paused, expression transforming into something far more contemplative. “I just hope they’ll be a good fit. We were a pretty close group, the six of us, and it’ll take someone special to live up to the hole that Daniel left behind.”</p><p> </p><p>Clearly deciding that this conversation was over, Jaehyun stood up and retrieved the bag from the floor by the door, shutting said door behind them firmly as he led the way to his own room further down the hall. He dropped the bag onto his bed, and he was in the middle of an impromptu room tour when raised voices from downstairs caught both of their attention. A brief, muffled ruckus below them followed, before Donghyuck heard the rapid footfalls of someone climbing the stairs at speed. A few moments later, a panting Jungwoo stuck his head around the door.</p><p> </p><p>“Dongyoung-hyung is home,” he informed them, voice shaking slightly following his quick ascent. He took in the scene, Donghyuck and Jaehyun huddled together over the older man’s desk, where he’d been showing Donghyuck his class list for the year, and grinned at the pair excitedly. “And he brought us all Thai food.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>For those of you at home playing member bingo, make sure you tick off those two new boxes now.</p><p>No-one got the roommates completely correct in the comments, I don't think, but some people got a little close. To be fair, I kind of cheated by saying five in the first place. Bets on who you think will be next to appear, after Doyoung? Let me know...</p><p>As always, have a wonderful day! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Chapter 20</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>To the two or three people who noticed and appreciated my Greek alphabet skills, thanks. I was pretty proud of that, not going to lie... :)</p><p>Also, to the few people who picked up on the subtle (and not-so-subtle) references to several other k-pop idols in these last few chapters, kudos. Please note that their characterisations in this have absolutely no bearing on my opinion of them as people, other than thinking one is a pretty damn good choreographer, and I love them both dearly. Consider these and any future cameos to be little easter eggs for my fellow multis.</p><p>Anyway, enjoy this one. We'll talk again at the end.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>By the time Donghyuck and Jaehyun made it back down the stairs, the food had already been laid out on the coffee table and the sofa was quickly reaching maximum capacity. Taeil sat in one corner, with Yuta sprawled out at the other end. Jungwoo was carrying a wooden kitchen chair across the room, followed closely by their final roommate. He clutched a fistful of cutlery, and was complaining loudly to anyone who would listen about how Jungwoo wasn't walking nearly fast enough for his liking.</p><p> </p><p>“How was class today, Dongyoung-hyung?” Jaehyun called out, taking a quick detour left into a room that Donghyuck hadn’t yet visited. Doyoung turned in their direction at the sound of Jaehyun’s voice, frowning when he caught sight of the younger boy and not his roommate, but responded regardless.</p><p> </p><p>“Same as the last five times you’ve asked.” Jaehyun returned a few seconds later carrying another straight-backed wooden chair, a mischievous grin plastered across his face at the unmistakable irritation in his friend’s voice.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t shoot the messenger,” Jaehyun told him, elbowing Doyoung gently in the arm as he carried the chair past him. He set it down next to the one Jungwoo had been carrying, angling it slightly so that it faced the small flatscreen television mounted on the wall in the corner, just like the rest of the furniture that crowded the small coffee table. Straightening up to his full height, he turned to fix Doyoung with a knowing look. “I’m not the one who chose to torture himself with all these extra evening classes this semester.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ve told you before, Jaehyun,” Doyoung bit back, without any real venom behind his words. “I need extra classes if I’m going to graduate on time.” He unceremoniously dumped the assortment of cutlery in his hands onto the table next to the take-out boxes, then claimed the chair nearest to Taeil. “Besides, at least I’m making the most of my academic career, unlike some people I could mention.”</p><p> </p><p>Jaehyun laughed, which set off a chain reaction from Yuta and Jungwoo. Even the stoic Taeil cracked a smile for a half-second, and Doyoung scowled at each of them in turn. “You’re trying to graduate a year early, hyung,” Jaehyun said. “That doesn’t sound like making the most of it to me.” Doyoung—or Dongyoung, as Donghyuck guessed he probably should start referring to him in his head—opened his mouth to respond, but nothing came out. Instead, he just sighed dramatically and flopped down on the floor by Yuta’s feet, leaning into the older man’s calf heavily.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t be so mean to him,” Yuta told Jaehyun, but the smile on his lips told everyone that he was taking this about as seriously as the sophomore was. “Dongyoungie here is just extra grumpy today because that mystery guy he’s been stalking for weeks still has no idea that he exists.” At that, Dongyoung surged up from the ground and started attempting to beat Yuta to death with a pillow that had fallen off the sofa onto the floor. Yuta just started laughing as he easily held Dongyoung off, and Donghyuck couldn’t help the surge of familiarity and <em> home </em> that swept through him at the visual.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, Hyuck,” Jaehyun said suddenly, distracting him and the two men play-fighting on the sofa momentarily. Blinking, Donghyuck realised that he was still standing at the base of the staircase, watching the domestic scene unfolding before him like he was watching live theatre. “You don’t have to stay over there all night.” He patted the chair next to him. “Come and make yourself comfortable. We won’t bite.”</p><p> </p><p>“Speak for yourself,” Yuta quipped, as he finally managed to push Dongyoung off the sofa and into a heap on the floor. He winced when the other man smacked his thigh in retaliation, the sound like a whip cracking through the small room, but his smile barely faded. “Come sit by me, baby brother.”</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck noted the small frown that eclipsed Taeil’s otherwise calm visage, as he turned to eye the empty space between himself and Yuta on the sofa, but didn't say anything as Yuta waved the younger boy over and then all but dragged him down next to them. He felt Taeil shift a little closer to the edge of the sofa, leaving a clear gap between their bodies, but he tried not to allow it to bother him too much. Yuta looped an arm around his neck and he let the older man pull him closer, not protesting even when Yuta started to ruffle his hair and coo softly at him like he might a small child.</p><p> </p><p>“He’s not five years old, Yuta-hyung” Jaehyun tried to interject, but Yuta ignored him. Donghyuck couldn't even say that he really minded. It wasn't exactly the way he wanted his family to act around him, like he was Jaehyun’s kid brother instead of their teammate and friend, but he’d revel in any morsel of attention that was offered. He wasn't above setting his pride aside in favour of his temporary happiness.</p><p> </p><p>For the next few minutes, the room fell into a mostly comfortable silence as the six of them distributed the food Dongyoung had brought home. There was a brief, mostly grunted debate over movies, with the room evenly split between action and comedy, before a film Donghyuck had never heard of was loaded up on screen. The older men didn't really seem to be watching it, focused instead on their food and on the occasional banter that was being slung around light-heartedly between them, but Donghyuck found himself unable to concentrate for an entirely different reason. To his right, Taeil was still positioned stiffly, keeping his body deliberately angled away from Donghyuck as he ate, and the boy was starting to worry that Taeil really didn't like him very much.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you want me to move, Taeil-ssi?” he whispered a few minutes later, when he could no longer bear the stifling awkwardness that cloyed in the gap between their bodies. “I don’t want you to make you uncomfortable. I can just sit on the floor instead.” For what felt like an eternity, Taeil didn't respond, and Donghyuck started to shift towards the edge of the seat cushion, embarrassed that he’d put someone he cared about in such an uncomfortable position, but then the older man’s hand shot out and his fingers wrapped around Donghyuck’s forearm.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t.” Donghyuck froze, half on and half off the seat, the warmth of Taeil’s fingers burning like a brand into his exposed skin. He was acutely aware that the others were all watching their exchange now, and he forced himself not to make eye contact with any of them as he waited for Taeil’s response. “I’m a little wary of new people in my personal space, but that’s no excuse for being rude. I apologise.” Donghyuck turned to look at him then, and the genuine apology in Taeil’s gaze had him tentatively leaning back into the seat cushions again.</p><p> </p><p>“Relax,” Taeil said after another moment of silence, in which Donghyuck could hear the distinct sounds of six people breathing, alongside the rapid staccato of his own heartbeat. “Please?” He forced his body to relax and, as he did so, he realised that Taeil had shifted closer to him, some of the lingering stiffness eeking slowly out of the man’s body. Donghyuck came to rest with his arm lightly brushing Taeil’s jacket sleeve and, when the other man didn't move to get away from him, he relaxed further. “Don’t worry. I’ll warm up to you soon enough and, when I do, you’ll probably end up wishing I hadn't.”</p><p> </p><p>“You won’t ever be able to get him to shut up,” Jungwoo interjected helpfully, head popping out from behind Yuta, and the remaining tension evaporated almost immediately as Taeil snorted with laughter. His eyes went wide and he clamped a hand over his mouth, seemingly surprised by his own reaction. Then he chuckled a second time, leaning back into the sofa with a soft smile playing on his lips.</p><p> </p><p>Yuta slung an arm across the top of the cushion at Donghyuck’s back but didn't try to pull him away from Taeil this time, and Donghyuck smiled secretly to himself as he leaned back into the sofa. The attention of the rest of the room quickly returned to the movie and the mostly-demolished food, the air around them warm, heady and smelling strongly of spices, and Donghyuck quickly found himself starting to drift off to sleep.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>“Do you have any idea how incredibly pretentious you sound right now?”</p><p> </p><p>“Just because you don’t understand it, that doesn’t make it pretentious, Yuta-hyung!”</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck came to gradually, the gentle rise and fall of a warm, firm chest below his cheek easing him slowly back into consciousness, despite the raised voices above him. He was used to a lot of noise in the dorms as he slept, and this particular blend of voices felt more natural to him than breathing, especially with how quiet things had been lately at home. He recognised Dongyoung’s voice without even needing to open his eyes, not least because of the particularly thin, reedy tone the man got whenever he was being wound up by one of the other members—often Yuta, as was the case here.</p><p> </p><p>“I actually can’t have an adult conversation with you, hyung,” Dongyoung continued irritably, as someone else laughed. “Hey, don’t you laugh at me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry.” That was Jaehyun, from Donghyuck’s other side. He didn't sound particularly sorry, a sentiment that was made abundantly clear by his next words. “But three weeks of a senior philosophy class doesn’t suddenly make you Socrates, hyung.”</p><p> </p><p>“I <em> know </em> that,” Dongyoung agreed, “but I’m just saying that it’s a solid theory.” Donghyuck didn't know what theory he was referring to, having probably been unconscious for that part of the conversation, but Yuta’s incredulous snort told him that at least one of Dongyoung’s roommates didn't agree with his assertion.</p><p> </p><p>“If I actually understood any of what you said in the first place, I might be able to agree or disagree,” Yuta retorted. “I stopped listening when you quit talking about brain cells.”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course that would be the only part you actually paid attention to, hyung.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m a biological sciences major, idiot,” Yuta started to say, but he was interrupted by yet another voice. This one rumbled through Donghyuck’s entire body, vibrating the chest he was currently using as a make-shift pillow, and he tensed as he realised that the speaker was Taeil.</p><p> </p><p>“Enough, Yuta,” Taeil said, and the room fell silent for a moment. “I think we can all agree that it’s an interesting idea, Dongyoung, but I think we’re disturbing Donghyuck.” A hand came down gently on top of Donghyuck’s head, shifting a few strands of hair out of the boy’s face, and he felt a warm breath at his ear as Taeil lowered his voice so only he could hear. “I know you’re awake.”</p><p> </p><p>“I didn't want to disturb your conversation,” Donghyuck murmured, pushing up off Taeil as quickly as he was able to without hurting him, then startling when he realised that everyone was watching him intently. He turned his attention to the man he’d been lying on, and was pleasantly surprised to see that Taeil didn't look nearly as annoyed as he should have been. In fact, he almost looked...happy. “I’m sorry for falling asleep on you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t be,” Taeil insisted, flashing him his first genuine smile of the night. Donghyuck returned it eagerly with one of his own, as the conversation they had interrupted started back up in earnest around them.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyung, you can’t possibly be suggesting that you understood everything he just said,” Yuta said to Taeil, who shrugged apologetically at Dongyoung before responding.</p><p> </p><p>“No, but at least I tried.” Dongyoung huffed and Taeil laughed softly. “Sorry, Do. I really did try, but it was a bit beyond me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t look at me,” Jungwoo said quickly, when Dongyoung turned his attention to the freshman next. “I know nothing.” He made a tiny cross with his index fingers in front of himself, and Dongyoung sighed. Jaehyun didn't say anything, simply shrugging when Dongyoung’s searching gaze landed on him, and the man didn't even bother looking at Donghyuck at all. He hadn't looked directly at Donghyuck all evening, as far as he could tell, and Donghyuck hoped it was just a case of him needing some time to warm up as Taeil had.</p><p> </p><p>“Why are you even taking that class?” Yuta asked a few moments later, when it became clear that no one had anything constructive left to add to the discussion they had been having as Donghyuck woke. “You can’t possibly need the credits, because you already take so many classes each semester as it is.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” Jaehyun added. “I thought you had enough credits stored up from last year that you didn’t need to take evening classes this semester to graduate early.”</p><p> </p><p>“I—I have.” At that choked admission, four pairs of eyes locked instantly onto Dongyoung’s rapidly reddening face. Donghyuck wasn't sure why, but the man looked positively mortified by his own words.</p><p> </p><p>“You have?” Taeil parroted the words back at him, pushing himself forward so that he could see Dongyoung clearly around Donghyuck and Yuta. The man visibly wilted under Taeil’s steely gaze and Donghyuck couldn't help but be glad that he wasn't the one currently under the spotlight. “So why the hell are you taking it then?” Dongyoung fixed his gaze on the floor in front of him, as though he were reluctant to answer. Taeil just kept staring, waiting implacably until, eventually, the younger man broke.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know, okay,” Dongyoung spat out in a rush. “I just signed up on a whim at the end of last year, and now I’m stuck with it.” He let out a pitiful sounding groan and pinched the bridge of his nose between his brows. “I don’t even fucking like philosophy. He was just—” He broke off, the muscle in his jaw tensing as he clamped his mouth shut, but Yuta didn't hesitate to pounce on his mistake.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, tell me you didn't,” he barked, grabbing Dongyoung by the shoulders and hauling them both to their feet. “Tell me you didn't sign up to that class, knowing full well you didn't have enough time for it, just because Mr Goddamn Perfect was in it.” Donghyuck’s brows furrowed in confusion as he stared from Yuta to Dongyoung and back, but the resounding groans of comprehension from the other three people in the room made it clear that this was not a new topic of conversation.</p><p> </p><p>“You must think I’m crazy,” Dongyoung said eventually, denying nothing. “I’m actually pathetic.” He made no move to push Yuta away, so the older man pulled him into a fierce hug instead.</p><p> </p><p>“No,” Yuta insisted. “No, you’re not.” He leant back to look Dongyoung in the eye. “You’re just hopelessly in love with the guy, and love makes people do crazy things sometimes.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not.” Dongyoung spluttered in protest, stepping away from Yuta’s reach and rounding the coffee table to begin pacing restlessly. “I don’t even know his name. Sure, I’ve been pining after him like a total loser for over a year and, sure, I think he’s…” He paused, arms flailing as he searched for the right word. “...well, basically aesthetically perfect, but I don’t even know anything about him.” He turned on his heel to stare his roommates down one by one, eyes glazing quickly over Donghyuck in the middle as though he didn't want to acknowledge the high schooler’s presence at all. “I can’t possibly be in love with him. I’m not!”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course you’re not,” Taeil agreed, even as he shook his head with a knowing smile.</p><p> </p><p>“Keep telling yourself that, Dongyoungie,” Yuta muttered, and Dongyoung shot him a death glare.</p><p> </p><p>“Just ask him his name.”</p><p> </p><p>“What?” Dongyoung froze in place, pacing all but forgotten as he met Donghyuck’s gaze for the first time since he’d set foot in the house. His eyes were fierce and guarded, and Donghyuck realised with horror that he’d said the words out loud, instead of inside his head like he’d intended.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry,” he whispered, attempting to disappear into the sofa behind Taeil’s shoulder so that he could avoid Dongyoung’s hostile gaze. “I didn't say anything.”</p><p> </p><p>“You did though,” Dongyoung started, stepping forward like he was going to confront the younger boy. If Donghyuck was under any illusions as to the man’s feelings about him, the look of utter disgust in Dongyoung’s eyes made it abundantly clear that Donghyuck’s presence was not welcome—his words, even less so.</p><p> </p><p>“Chill, Do,” Yuta said quickly, cluing into the shift in the dynamic at the same moment that Jaehyun stood up from his seat and stepped directly in between Dongyoung and his brother, as if prepared to shield him from the man’s anger. If Donghyuck hadn’t been completely bewildered by Dongyoung’s animosity, he’d have probably been touched by Jaehyun’s protectiveness. “He’s not wrong. You’ve been talking about this guy since basically forever, but you’ve never even spoken to him. Maybe you should take the kid’s advice and,” Yuta glanced over at Donghyuck and smiled reassuringly, “just ask him his name.”</p><p> </p><p>Dongyoung thought about it for a few moments, the only sound in the room the soft, canned music that accompanied the menu screen displayed on the neglected television in the corner, and then he nodded curtly. “Hmm.” With that, he turned on his heel and walked away, reaching the stairs and disappearing up them without another word. Once he was out of sight, Jaehyun’s shoulders slumped and he sank to the floor between Donghyuck and Taeil’s ankles.</p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t mean to upset him,” Donghyuck told his brother, who just patted his knee and shook his head.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s fine,” Jaehyun said quickly, and the others agreed a little too enthusiastically. “Dongyoung-hyung has a lot on his mind at the moment, and he can be a little prickly at the best of times. He’ll be fine in the morning, don’t you worry.” Donghyuck wasn't convinced that it was quite that simple, the words sounding hollow coming out of his brother’s mouth, but he resolved to wait until he and Jaehyun were alone to question him about it further.</p><p> </p><p>“Speaking of the morning,” Taeil said, patting Donghyuck on the arm once in a gesture that he probably intended to be comforting. “I should head to bed. I have work tomorrow.” He smiled down at the boy beside him, eyes crinkling. “Unfortunately, the glamorous life of a graduate researcher doesn't discriminate against weekends.”</p><p> </p><p>“We should probably get some sleep too,” Jaehyun told Donghyuck, who nodded. He started collecting boxes and cutlery to take to the kitchen and the others followed suit, the group making quick work of returning the room to its rightful state. Then they each said their goodnights, Yuta and Jungwoo making sure to hug Donghyuck before they headed to their respective rooms.</p><p> </p><p>“Goodnight, Yuta-hyung,” he called once more, as the man in question finally disappeared from view, leaving him with just Taeil and his brother. “Good night, Taeil-ssi.”</p><p> </p><p>“I think you can safely call me hyung at this point, Donghyuck,” the older man said kindly, giving him a quick, only slightly awkward side-hug. “You drooled on my shirt tonight. That practically makes us family.”</p><p> </p><p>“I—” Donghyuck broke off his protests as he realised that Taeil was chuckling softly at his embarrassment. “Very funny, Taeil...hyung.” He thought for a moment then broke into a smile. “In that case, call me Hyuck. My family calls me Hyuck.” The mix of surprise and pleasure that crossed Taeil’s face had the potential to make his whole week, Donghyuck thought, as the man nodded and then turned to leave. The brothers followed closely behind him, climbing the stairs and navigating to Jaehyun’s room quickly after Taeil entered his own.</p><p> </p><p>Once inside, they made quick work of getting ready for bed. Donghyuck was already yawning, despite his brief nap on Taeil downstairs, as he pulled on his pyjama shirt, and Jaehyun’s eyelids were heavy and low as he exited the small ensuite bathroom and collapsed onto his mattress next to Donghyuck. Donghyuck shifted slightly to give the taller man a larger share of the space and then stilled, staring up at the shadows that played across the ceiling above them.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyung?” he whispered after about ten minutes. Jaehyun’s breathing hadn't yet evened out, so he didn't think the man was asleep, but it took him a while to respond. When he did, Jaehyun’s voice was low and gravelly with exhaustion.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p> </p><p>“Why does Dongyoung dislike me so much?” Even before their altercation at the end of the night, he hadn't missed how Dongyoung’s eyes had skipped over him like he wasn't even there. He’d been unhappy to see Donghyuck from the very start, when they’d first come downstairs after Dongyoung had arrived home, but he didn't know why. He hadn't done anything at that point other than exist, and he didn't think that was enough to make the man hate him on sight.</p><p> </p><p>Jaehyun rolled onto his side to face Donghyuck, the bed frame creaking a little as he moved. Donghyuck stayed on his back but turned his face to allow him to see Jaehyun in the darkness. “He doesn’t dislike you, Hyuck.”</p><p> </p><p>“It seems like he does.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know,” Jaehyun agreed, then he sighed. “When I told the guys you were coming, the others were really excited.” He laughed softly, quietly enough that he wouldn't disturb anyone else in the house, then continued. “Even Taeil-hyung, although he’d deny it if you asked him. But Dongyoung-hyung wanted to know why I had never mentioned you before.”</p><p> </p><p>“You told him.” He sounded resigned to his own ears and Jaehyun nodded apologetically. Donghyuck felt the pieces of the puzzle slotting into place in his mind and suddenly Dongyoung’s animosity made perfect sense. He couldn't blame the man for not welcoming him with open arms. Donghyuck thought he’d likely do exactly the same thing in Dongyoung’s position, knowing what he knew now about his past with Jaehyun in this reality. “He has every reason to hate me.”</p><p> </p><p>“He doesn’t hate you, Hyuck-ah.” Jaehyun pulled Donghyuck into a hug, the younger boy allowing himself to be rolled into his brother’s chest. He squeezed his eyes shut, letting himself sink into Jaehyun’s warm embrace. “He’s very protective of all of us, especially at the moment. He’ll come around, once he gets a chance to see just how amazing you are.”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you sure?” Donghyuck couldn't help the childish whine in his voice, but Jaehyun didn't seem to notice or care.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sure.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hyuck and Doyoung are going to have a little morning chat in the next chapter so they can clear this all up. I really don't want to make their brief animosity here into a major plot point, but Doyoung is far too protective and insightful for him to just let it go without question. He's a smart cookie, though, and he'll come around soon enough.</p><p>As always, have a wonderful day! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Chapter 21</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Before you read on, I know that some people haven't been getting notifications from AO3 for a few days. If it's a surprise to you that we're on the third part of Hyuck's college visit, please go back and catch up. This will make no sense otherwise.</p><p>That said, this one is a little on the angsty side, but it's the last chapter like that for a while, at least for Hyuck (I make no promises with NoRenMin, cause they're a mess still). Look forward to a spot of plot progression, singing practices, musical auditions and some new recruits around the drama department soon...</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>When Donghyuck awoke the next morning, he was sprawled across Jaehyun’s bed diagonally, like a starfish, and his brother was long gone. The curtains had been pulled back, letting the pale, washed-out sunlight of a cloudy day in, and the air around him was slightly chilled from the open window beyond. For a few minutes, he let himself lie completely motionless, listening to the muffled strains of cheery music drifting up through the floorboards from downstairs, content to simply exist with his thoughts.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then he glanced over at the digital clock on Jaehyun’s desk, realising that it was almost noon and that he really should get up and make good use of the remaining time he had with his hyungs before he had to go home. He didn't know when he’d get to see them all again, so he knew that every moment was precious.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A quick perusal of the ensuite, followed by the rest of the upper floor, told him that most of the inhabitants had likely already left for the day. He knew from the conversations the previous night that Taeil likely wouldn't be back before he had to leave, which made his heart ache, but there was definitely someone downstairs if the telltale sounds of someone singing along to the radio were anything to go by. It sounded a lot like Jungwoo in the shower at the dorms, he thought, as he quickly got dressed and washed his face. If he was right, it would give him the perfect opportunity to spend some quality time with the man one-on-one, as well as with anyone else who happened to be around.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good morn—oh!” Donghyuck rounded the base of the staircase with a bounce in his step, coming to an abrupt halt as he realised that he had been grossly mistaken. Through the open door that led into the small kitchenette, he could make out a familiar figure, but it wasn't the one he’d been expecting. Instead of Jungwoo, he was confronted by an embarrassed-looking Dongyoung, who stopped singing and quickly snapped his jaw shut at the sound of the younger boy’s voice. “I’m sorry. I didn't mean to disturb you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine,” Dongyoung said slowly, turning back to the stovetop he’d been cooking on before he’d been interrupted, using a pair of metal tongs to flip several rashers of bacon in a large pan. He didn't glance back at Donghyuck again but waved the tongs over his shoulder to attract the boy’s attention. “If you were looking for your brother, he and Yuta-hyung went to the gym about an hour ago. They should be back soon. You’re welcome to wait for them in here if you want.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck considered simply explaining that he hadn't been looking for anyone in particular, unless you counted mistaking the man at the stove for another member of the household, but he didn't want to risk antagonising Dongyoung any further than he already had the previous night. He wasn't sure if this Dongyoung would ever come around to liking him, but correcting the man probably wasn't a good way to start.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” he said instead. Making his way into the kitchen, he pulled out one of the bar stools lining the neat, polished countertop, deliberately choosing one on the opposite side of the room from the stove. “I meant what I said, by the way. Don’t stop singing on my account.” He smiled encouragingly, even though Dongyoung wouldn't be able to see it with his back to him. “You have a beautiful voice.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Really?” Dongyoung sounded genuinely surprised, which hurt Donghyuck’s heart a little. Sure, it hadn’t been the polished perfection of the famous voice that performed on a stage every other night for months on tour, but the high, clean tone was unmistakably his. Even now, Donghyuck could remember clearly back to a time when Doyoung had previously been so insecure about his voice—the members had all been glad to see that side of him fade over time. To hear the uncertainty in his voice again now, it felt like he really was back to his old high school trainee days again, in a way that hadn’t hit him until this moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course.” Dongyoung turned to face him then, eyes sweeping his face as though he was looking for signs of a lie. When he didn't spot whatever it was that he was looking for, he flushed and nodded his head at the boy, who flashed him a tentative smile in return. A nod wasn't quite the patented Doyoung smile he was used to, Donghyuck thought, but it was a start.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you want anything?” Dongyoung asked, gesturing towards the open packet of bacon on the counter next to him. He also had a range of other breakfast items in the fridge, as he helpfully demonstrated when Donghyuck hesitated to accept his offer. Eggs, sausage, and fresh orange juice. There was even a rice cooker working away steadily in the corner too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure. Thanks, Dongyoung-ssi.” To Donghyuck’s disappointment, the man didn't correct his use of the formality, but he did quietly peel off another few slices of bacon and add them to the pan. He turned his attention back to the stove and, for a few moments, Donghyuck sat quietly, watching the slender muscles in the man’s back work in tandem each time he moved.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dongyoung-ssi,” he began again, deciding that now was as good a time as any to see if there was a chance of patching up the rocky start he’d had with the man. “I wanted to apologise for what I said last night.” Dongyoung waved the tongs over his shoulder again, appearing to dismiss his apology, but Donghyuck ignored them. “It really wasn't my place to say anything. I shouldn't have tried to involve myself in your…” He wanted to say love life, or lack of one, but he didn't think Dongyoung would take too kindly to that. “...personal business.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine, Donghyuck.” Turning down the heat a little, Dongyoung stepped away from the stove and turned to lean his forearms on the counter between them, fixing his gaze on Donghyuck. “You don’t need to apologise.” He sighed, one eyebrow quirking slightly up as he stared at the younger boy, then continued. “In fact, it’s me who should be apologising to you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why?” The words were out of Donghyuck’s mouth before he had the time to fully process the statement, and then he frowned. He hadn't expected an apology from Dongyoung, and he didn't understand why the older man would think he had anything to apologise for.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was rude,” Dongyoung said simply, lifting one arm off the counter to scratch lightly at his temple. “I know how important this visit was for Jaehyunie, and I shouldn’t have acted like that. It was rude, and I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” Donghyuck wasn't sure what else to say. They were both pointedly skirting around the reason for Dongyoung’s adverse reaction to him, and he knew that the elephant in the room would need to be addressed eventually, if they had any chance of moving past it. He could only hope that Dongyoung was half as forgiving as Jaehyun had been. “So Jaehyun told me that you two talked about what happened between us.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He did?” Dongyoung sounded surprised, but he recovered quickly. “I guess that makes sense, considering how unpleasant I was to you last night.” He paused, eyeing Donghyuck thoughtfully. “You know, I’ve heard a lot about you over the last few days, but you are not exactly what I was expecting.” He sounded almost confused as he finished speaking, and Donghyuck could practically see the thoughts swirling around inside his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I understand. You have every right to hate me, after what I’ve—” He choked on the words, before forcing himself to voice the lie that he’d inherited from a life he didn't remember. Every time he had to own it, it killed a tiny part of him, but he had no choice. “After what I’ve done.” He hung his head, half expecting the conversation to end there, with Dongyoung kicking him out of the kitchen in disgust.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s the problem.” Daring to lift his head at the hesitancy in Dongyoung’s words, Donghyuck couldn't help the tiny flicker of hope that sparked to life in his chest. That wasn't the immediate rejection he’d been expecting. “I don’t hate you. The exact opposite, if you can believe that after the way I acted.” Dongyoung laughed then, a thin, breathy sound. “I actually like you, Donghyuck.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You do?” Donghyuck’s mouth fell open, his brows furrowing as he stared in disbelief at the older man, propped heavily on his elbows on the other side of the countertop. “Again, why?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s the real question, isn’t it?” Dongyoung said wryly, a half-smile curving one corner of his lips up. He didn't look away and Donghyuck found himself completely trapped by Dongyoung’s unwavering gaze. “By all rights, I shouldn’t. I know how messed up Jaehyun was when I first met him, which all makes sense after what he told me about what happened. So I built up this image in my head, of the deplorable little brother who broke my friend’s heart.” Donghyuck bit his lip to keep from screaming—or crying—at that, but Dongyoung didn't stop. “I was prepared to hate you on sight, but you’re nothing like what I expected.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m—” Donghyuck wanted nothing more in that moment that to tell Dongyoung the truth—all of it—and let him see the real Donghyuck inside, but he knew that it would get back to Jaehyun eventually and he couldn’t risk ruining the relationship they had just started to build. He didn't know how things would end with his brother, but he knew that Jaehyun wouldn't understand—not yet, and maybe not ever. He just hoped that he could figure out a way to fix things permanently between them, but he had yet to figure out what or how. “I’ve changed. I know it’s not been easy for him, but I really do want to fix things between us.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I believe you,” Dongyoung said after a long moment of silence, during which he studied Donghyuck intently. Then he pushed up off the counter, turning to lift the pan of bacon off the stove before it burned. Focused on the food for a while, he was starting to crack eggs into a bowl by the time he spoke again. “I won’t bore you with the details, but you should know that I tend to be a little overprotective when it comes to the people inside this house.” He smiled sadly. “The Annex, I mean. Especially at the moment.” Donghyuck almost told him that Jaehyun had mentioned that too, but then remembered that he’d asked him not to bring it up. It didn't seem like Dongyoung knew that he knew, so it was probably better to keep it that way for now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaehyun needs this,” Dongyoung continued, leaning around the fridge to drop the discarded eggshells into the trash. “He needs you. I just don’t want him to get hurt again. He won’t survive it if you leave him a second time.” Donghyuck’s stomach twisted at that particular choice of words, the promise he should have been able to make getting lodged in his throat. He couldn't promise forever, as much as he wanted to. He didn't yet know how things would turn out but he knew that he’d do whatever he could, for as long as he was able.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll do my best,” he said finally, when Dongyoung started to look a little worried. Again, the man examined his face for signs of dishonesty, then nodded approvingly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’ll do,” he said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For the next five minutes, the pair settled into a unified silence. It wasn't exactly comfortable; he knew that Dongyoung was still harbouring serious doubts about him, from the way his eyes flicked to Donghyuck every few seconds when he thought the boy wasn't looking, but something had changed between them. He just hoped that something was for the better.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Here.” A large plate was pushed in front of him, a second sliding into place at his elbow as Dongyoung rounded the counter and took a seat on Donghyuck’s left. He barely even registered what was on the plate, focused as he was on the tense energy rolling off the man next to him, but he started eating quickly, more hungry than he’d thought he would be when he’d first woken up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I really am sorry for last night,” Donghyuck mumbled, mouth full of eggs, when the silence stretching between them grew too much to bear. He didn't think Dongyoung wanted the apology a second time, but it was a relatively safe choice of conversation, directing the topic onto Dongyoung and not Donghyuck or Jaehyun.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine, honestly,” Dongyoung said quickly. He didn't look over, but he reached out a hand to pat Donghyuck on the knee. “Besides, you did have a point. I didn't want to hear it, but you were right.” The half-smile was back on his face as Donghyuck turned to look at him, but it faded quickly when Dongyoung noticed he was being watched.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Has it really been over a year?” He wasn't sure what prompted him to ask, but he was relieved when Dongyoung didn't immediately shut him down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It has,” he admitted, shaking his head. “I guess you could say that I’ve mastered the slow approach.” He chuckled to himself, before glancing over at a bemused Donghyuck. “Glacial, in fact.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tell me about him?” Again, he was probably pushing it, but Dongyoung seemed to be in a much more communicative mood than he had been just minutes ago. Donghyuck wanted to make small talk, to try and break through the rest of the barrier between them, but he’d be lying if he said he wasn't also curious about the object of his hyung’s affections.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dongyoung sighed, long fingers tapping the countertop. It seemed for a long moment like he wasn't going to answer, but then he took in a deep breath and opened his mouth. “You’ve probably gathered by now that I’m a junior, but I’m hoping to graduate at the end of this year.” Donghyuck wanted to inquire as to why, to ask what his hurry was, but he also didn't want to interrupt the man when he was being so forthcoming. “I took a bunch of evening classes last year to get my credit load up, and he ended up in most of them. I don’t know why—maybe he only takes evening classes or something—but he was almost always there.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s your major?” Donghyuck asked, earning a look from Dongyoung that said that he was surprised by the interest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Psychology, but I’ve ended up with a minor in Philosophy through all the additional credits. Those were the classes he was always in, so I just kept taking them. I don’t even like them.” He’d mentioned as much the previous night, Donghyuck recalled, although with less of a filter on language then. “I’m not too proud to admit that I started them hoping for an easy A, but then I stayed because of him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And you’ve never tried to speak to him?” Donghyuck knew that Dongyoung wasn't his most outgoing hyung, but the man was no shrinking violet either. He wasn't shy when it came to meeting new people so, when he nodded, Donghyuck frowned. “Why not?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He doesn’t really speak to anyone,” the older man told him with a shrug. “He always leaves immediately after class, and he sits at the front on his own. He doesn’t ever seem like he wants to talk.” Dongyoung shrugged again, the action outwardly casual, but this time there was a defensiveness to it that Donghyuck knew all too well from his Doyoung back home.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t know until you try.” At that, Dongyoung’s demeanour changed and he knew that they’d reached the limits of that particular line of conversation. Quickly pivoting, Donghyuck chose something related but slightly less intrusive. “What does he look like?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Scary,” Dongyoung blurted, then flushed. “I mean, when he looks at you it’s like looking into an ice sculpture, but then he smiles and it’s as though the sun is shining for the first time all day.” Dongyoung seemed to startle himself with his own words, and he stole a quick, furtive glance at the boy beside him. “Don’t tell your brother or Yuta-hyung I said that, okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your secret is safe with me.” Donghyuck grinned up at Dongyoung, who offered him a small, genuine smile in response. Thinking back on what the man had said, Donghyuck latched onto a detail that felt like it could be important. “Wait, you said he smiled at you. When? That’s a good thing, isn’t it? Maybe that means he wants to talk to you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure he smiles at lots of people, Donghyuck.” Dongyoung’s shoulders fell and he rested an arm on the counter. “I’d like to think it was just me, but it’s not. He’s just too nice to tell me off whenever he turns around in the middle of class and catches me staring at him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What about you, Donghyuck?” Interrupting whatever Donghyuck had been about to say, the older man leant his cheek on his palm, elbow pressed to the table, and fixed him with a curious gaze.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” The question had been light and somewhat detached, but he could sense a deeper interest underpinning Dongyoung’s words. That and a profound desire to distract them both from their previous conversation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s only fair that I get to know a bit about you too, right? Tell me something.” Donghyuck had the distinct impression that Dongyoung had been specifically asking about his love life, the question too leading to be anything else, but that really wasn't a safe topic to get into. Especially in this reality—although Donghyuck hadn’t ever really discussed it with anyone in his own reality either, so it wasn't all that different. Still, it was equally off-limits, but for an entirely different reason.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Instead, he launched into a brief description of his school, his classes and his friends. Dongyoung might have just been being polite, but he started asking follow-up questions and the time passed quickly. Donghyuck knew that Jaehyun and Yuta would be back eventually, bringing their time together like this to an end, but the pair seemed to be taking their time in the gym. He was grateful because he found himself enjoying the way that Dongyoung seemed to be opening up more and more as they spoke.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you have a girlfriend, Donghyuck?” Dongyoung asked eventually. “Or a boyfriend?” He had been fervently hoping this question wouldn't come up, but he couldn't blame the man for being curious. He hadn't touched much on socialising, outside of talking about Renjun and Jaemin—mainly because he couldn't remember what he had been like before the start of the school year. For that reason, it was glaringly obvious that he was omitting a huge part of his life from the narrative. Dongyoung had taken the next logical step, even if that step turned out to be in entirely the wrong direction.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” he answered quickly. Dongyoung’s eyebrows rose in surprise.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Anyone you’re interested in?” Despite his best efforts, Donghyuck’s mind latched onto a single, crystal-clear image—one wearing adorable, oversized glasses and an ugly sweater—and his best friend’s face swam through his mind before he could manage to throw up his mental defences. He hesitated. Of course, Dongyoung noticed, and curiosity flared in his eyes. “Do you want to talk about it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Did he? If he was completely honest, he did, if for no other reason than that he missed the boy with every iota of his being. He thought he’d managed to compartmentalise Mark pretty well for the past few weeks, out of necessity, but the sudden inferno of pain that flared up inside him at the image he’d conjured hurt a lot more than he’d been expecting. He wanted nothing more than to share that pain with someone, to be able to tell Dongyoung all about the incredible person he’d loved silently for far, far longer than this Dongyoung had known his own mystery crush.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>However, he knew that wasn't fair on the Donghyuck whose body he was currently borrowing, a boy who wasn't able to let him know at the moment whether they shared the same romantic preferences. It was one thing to admit to himself that he missed Mark Lee more than words; it was another thing entirely to out someone who might not even be gay to his brother’s best friend. Donghyuck had, thankfully, never experienced any negativity from his members with regards to his sexuality, but he knew that not everyone in the world—or every reality—would be that kind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s complicated,” he told Dongyoung finally. The older man nodded, seeming to understand. Donghyuck knew that he’d need to be delicate with what he said next, but he desperately wanted to share something with Dongyoung. He just needed to use his words carefully. “There was someone,” he admitted. “We’ve been friends for a really long time, but I’ve never told them how I felt.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How is that going for you?” There was a hint of a sad smile on Dongyoung’s face, and Donghyuck appreciated the half-hearted attempt at levity.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“About as well as it’s going for you.” He laughed himself then, blinking away a hint of moisture from the corner of his eye. A beat later, Dongyoung joined in, and, while it didn't take the pain away, it did feel good to talk about it out loud, however vaguely. Even if he wasn't really saying anything at all. “I wish I could just turn back time and tell them how I feel.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why can’t you tell them now?” Donghyuck glanced up at Dongyoung, who was watching him carefully once more. Again, Donghyuck hesitated, not wanting to say too much but needing to get it out now that he’d started. He wanted it so damn much, he realised. Needed it like he needed to breath—he needed someone to know, just in case he never saw Mark again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He—they’re gone. I don’t know when—if—I’ll see them again.” He blew out a long breath. “It might not be for a long time.” For a long moment, Dongyoung didn't react. Then his arm shot out and he took Donghyuck’s hands in his warm grip. He squeezed firmly, still not making a sound as Donghyuck slowly shifted in his grip to entwine their fingers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You miss them.” It wasn't a question, but Donghyuck found himself nodding anyway. He blinked again, noting with detached clarity the moment that Dongyoung noticed the first tear start to roll down his cheek.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I miss him so much.” He didn't register much of what was said after that, as Dongyoung scooped him off the stool and pulled him close, stemming Donghyuck’s tears with his clean, white shirt. Strong, firm hands stroked his back, his hair, his cheeks, soothing and reassuring as the rest of the world fell away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck knew he was still speaking, babbling on and on about nothing and everything, but he couldn't be sure how much Dongyoung could hear. He might have even mentioned Mark’s name, whispered deep into Dongyoung’s shirt, but he couldn’t be sure. If he did, the older man didn't respond, other than to pull him in tighter, a fist gripping his shirt so tightly that Donghyuck knew it would be permanently stretched afterwards. Dongyoung just held him as he cried, his presence a pillar of silent solidarity that promised that he would be there to pick up the pieces of Donghyuck’s heart when he was through.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was how Jaehyun and Yuta found them half an hour later, crashing into the kitchen they talked animatedly to each, only to be brought up short by the sight of the younger boy sobbing softly into Dongyoung’s chest. The three housemates locked eyes over Donghyuck’s shoulder, and Jaehyun’s anger flared in an instant, taking in the scene and jumping to conclusions.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What the hell did you do to him, hyung?” he asked, striding over to his brother. “I know you’re upset. Believe me, I get it, but he’s just a kid. You didn't have to make him cry.” He tried to pull Donghyuck from his roommate's arms but, to his surprise, the boy clung to Dongyoung’s waist like his life depended on it. “What’s going on?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nice of you to ask that question first, Jaehyun,” Dongyoung said sardonically, an unreadable look on his face. Jaehyun’s anger burst like a balloon in an instant as he took in the way that his friend’s arms were wrapped protectively around his little brother, like he had been comforting him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What happened?” This time, the question was breathy and soft, barely audible. He dropped a hand onto Donghyuck’s spine, massaging gently in the gap between Dongyoung’s arms. “Is he okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine, hyung,” Donghyuck muttered, raising his head off Dongyoung’s chest for the first time. His cheeks were tear-soaked and his eyes were puffy but he looked surprisingly calm, and he also seemed to have stopped crying for the time being. “We were just talking.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyuck and I,” Dongyoung flashed Donghyuck a smile and the younger boy positively beamed at the use of his nickname, “were just getting to know each other.” The older man stared up at Jaehyun meaningfully, the younger man trying and failing to grasp the full weight of what the look was trying to convey. If it was important, he was sure that Dongyoung would tell him about it later, but, for now, he was clueless.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Every good friendship starts with a few shared tears,” Dongyoung continued evenly, still rubbing Donghyuck’s back gently. “Isn’t that right, Hyuck-ah?” As he spoke, Jaehyun realised that his roommate had a few narrow tear tracks down his face too. He hadn't been crying as Donghyuck had but, whatever they had discussed, it hadn't left him entirely unaffected.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you say so,” Donghyuck answered doubtfully, but chose that moment to slowly uncurl himself from Dongyoung’s lap. Standing, he turned to wrap Jaehyun in a tight hug, which the man returned eagerly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure you’re okay, Hyuckie?” he whispered, making sure only his brother could hear him. The noise that Yuta was making as he very deliberately clattered around loudly in the fridge, giving the three of them a little privacy, helped to mask the sound.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I am,” Donghyuck insisted, squeezing him tighter for a second before releasing his grip.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay. If you’re sure.” He paused. “So I know it might not be a good time,” Jaehyun said apologetically, glancing from Donghyuck to Dongyoung and back again, “but you should probably head home soon. There’s going to be a lot of people here this evening, and mom would kill me if she knew I exposed you to a college party.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck laughed, and Jaehyun was relieved to hear that it sounded genuine and hearty. “There are quite a few things about this place that mom would be horrified by, if she found out, but you’re right.” He glanced over at Dongyoung, then back at Jaehyun. “I’ll go upstairs and grab my stuff in a minute.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you going to be okay to drive home?” Jaehyun asked, still eyeing the salt streaks on both of his brother’s cheeks warily.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’ll be fine, don’t worry,” Dongyoung interjected before his brother could answer. Then he clapped a hand on Donghyuck’s shoulder. “Jaehyun, can you give Hyuck and I a couple of minutes?” Donghyuck seemed as surprised by the request as Jaehyun but, when he didn't protest, Jaehyun agreed. He moved to join Yuta at the counter nearest the fridge, where the senior was busily making an everything-sandwich, complete with far more condiments than seemed sensible.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What was that about?” Yuta asked curiously, nudging Jaehyun’s arm, but the younger man waved him away for a moment as he watched the interaction across the room between Dongyoung and Donghyuck. They were deep in conversation, heads close and bodies angled towards each other as Donghyuck was held rapt by whatever the older man was saying. Dongyoung handed him something, which Donghyuck tucked into his pocket after examining it carefully. Then Dongyoung took out his phone and handed it to Donghyuck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He couldn't hear a word of their conversation but he couldn't help the smile that transformed his face as he watched their interaction. He was glad that they seemed to be getting closer, even if he didn't fully understand how or why. Dongyoung tucked the phone away and hugged Donghyuck once more, before the younger boy hurried out of the room. Dongyoung watched him go with a smile, which faded a little as he noticed both of them watching him with interest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nosy, much?” he asked. Yuta snorted, pointing an accusing index finger at Jaehyun as he shoved half the giant sandwich into his mouth in one bite. Dongyoung’s gaze flicked to Jaehyun and he rolled his eyes. “What?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nothing,” Jaehyun said truthfully. “I’m just glad you two seem to be getting along.” He meant it too. He’d been worried all morning about the way Dongyoung had reacted to Donghyuck the night before, after he had come clean about their past issues earlier in the week. He knew that Dongyoung was almost always rational and reasonable, and he had a good head on his shoulders, but he was also very impulsive when it came to looking after those he cared about. Jaehyun was secretly hopeful that that very small group might eventually grow to include Hyuck too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not going to tell you what Donghyuck and I talked about,” Dongyoung said quickly, when Jaehyun’s mouth opened again. He couldn’t even protest, because that would definitely have been his next question. “I may not be a licensed psychologist yet, but I still take the Hippocratic Oath seriously. He needed to talk, so he did. I listened. Trust that I have his best interests at heart?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I do.” Jaehyun really did trust Dongyoung. He’d been on the receiving end of the man’s guidance many times, and he knew how seriously he took other people’s privacy. He couldn't begin to imagine what Donghyuck had shared with him but, as long as it wasn't going to hurt the boy or anyone else, he’d let it stay between them. As long as Donghyuck was safe and happy, he was satisfied.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good.” Dongyoung’s gaze shifted to Yuta, now that the matter had been resolved. “Did you get the money from Taeil-hyung before he left this morning, Yuta?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” The man nodded, pulling his wallet from the pocket of his hoodie and dumping the contents out onto the countertop between him and Jaehyun. They were a few coffee shop loyalty cards, which he scooped up and put back inside, leaving a large wad of notes in small denominations. “It’s all here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And you’re meeting the guys from Phi this afternoon to get the kegs, right?” This question was directed at both of them, and they nodded. Taeil—and, by extension, Dongyoung—might not be particularly interested in the lifestyle that the majority of the members of Alpha Beta Eta maintained, but they were responsible for budgeting for it from their yearly social fund. Taeil trusted the two of them to handle said funds, unlike some of the guys who lived up in the main house, so Jaehyun and Yuta had quickly fallen into the habit of being the alcohol supply team.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They said to head over at four,” Yuta offered, stuffing the cash back into the large leather billfold and then tucking it back into his hoodie. The routine was as familiar as going to class at this point, but Jaehyun knew that Dongyoung always asked regardless. They would head over to Epsilon Eta Phi, the fraternity four doors down that took on the majority of the international students who pledged each year, and their President would have the kegs ready. Money would be exchanged, they would shake hands, and then they would see each other again at the party a few hours later. Jaehyun didn't even know most of their names, but their guys always came through in a pinch.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Perfect,” Dongyoung said with a nod. “Make sure to tell them that we appreciate the short notice.” They had only placed their usual order two days before, the party up in the air until the university had signed off on the disciplinary committee hearing with Taeil, but the resourceful men over at Epsilon Eta Phi had pulled off a miracle anyway.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Will do, boss,” Yuta said with a wink and a grin, which had Dongyoung groaning exaggeratedly. “I think we’re meeting the guy with the number for a name again, so I’ll be sure to give him your regards.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh-huh,” Dongyoung said. “He’ll be flattered to hear that you don’t even know his name, I’m sure. Guy with a number for a name, my ass…” He trailed off abruptly as Donghyuck stepped back into the kitchen, bag slung over his shoulder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ten,” he muttered. Then he froze, blinking in surprise when they all turned to look at him. “Uh—I’m ready to go.” Jaehyun hurried over to take the bag from him, leading him towards the living room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lucky guess,” Yuta said, sounding impressed as he raised an eyebrow at Dongyoung, moving to follow the brothers out into the main room. “I think that actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>is </span>
  </em>
  <span>his name.” Dongyoung didn't respond. He just followed after Yuta, lips pressed together. They quickly said their goodbyes to Donghyuck and then Jaehyun left with him. Yuta headed upstairs, leaving Dongyoung alone on the sofa with his thoughts.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No matter what order he put them in, two and two still seemed to make twenty-one, but he was determined to figure it out. Something was going on with his friend’s brother that had the potential to impact all of them, and he had a strong suspicion that Donghyuck would need his help with it eventually, be it sooner or later.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This was a really odd one to write, I'll be honest. A lot of the narrative is important for the plot later, but I feel like it might be a little clunky in places and I'm not entirely satisfied with it. That said, I'd still love to know what you think, both positive and negative, if you're that way inclined.</p><p>As always, have a wonderful day! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Chapter 22</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Can I just start by saying that the support on the last chapter was unreal, and it's made me so incredibly happy to read all of your comments?! I haven't been very good with replying to them over the last few chapters, because work has been as busy as ever, but I truly appreciate all of them so so much. &lt;3</p><p>For this chapter, I should mention that I've been a singer and musician since I was six years old and it's a huge part of who I am as a writer and a person. As a result, there's a fair bit of technical musical detail in here. It's a topic that's very close to my heart, but I realise that not everyone is as into it as I am. As a result, if there's anything you want me to explain or if anything isn't clear, please let me know!</p><p>Bonus challenge in this chapter: when you get to the end, take a wild guess at what my favourite NCT song is. I bet you'll never be able to tell...</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>After an eventful weekend, Donghyuck was looking forward to a quiet week, come Monday morning. He arrived at his homeroom classroom fifteen minutes early, at Renjun’s insistence, and quickly regaled him and Jaemin with the minutiae of his trip—save for a few choice details pertaining to his meltdown in front of Dongyoung on Saturday afternoon. He likely would share that with them too, eventually, but decided that he needed a little more time to process the feelings it had dredged up inside him first.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As expected, Renjun quickly pulled out the list from his pocket as Donghyuck spoke—the folded paper definitely looked like it had seen better days at this point, but the words were still legible. The older boy ticked off Taeil and Jungwoo’s names as they were mentioned, as well as scratching out a quick correction above Doyoung’s name, reflecting the version of it that he used in this reality.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>During their conversation, Donghyuck offered them his suspicions regarding Dongyoung’s mystery crush, as well as mentioning how Ten’s name had all but been confirmed by Yuta, but Renjun hadn’t added any more markings to the sheet. He trusted Donghyuck’s judgement implicitly, he assured him, but they wanted to be sure first. Besides, as Renjun helpfully reminded the other two boys, the list was meant to be for members that Donghyuck had actually met, and he definitely hadn’t met Dongyoung’s ‘Mr Perfect’ or the ‘guy with a number for a name’ yet. Neither of them could argue with that logic, so the list remained unaltered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At lunch that day, Chenle cornered him outside the door to the drama studio, to ask if he would be free at some point to help him practice for the auditions the following week. Feeling more than a little guilty, having temporarily forgotten the promise he’d made to the younger boy, he readily agreed. Chenle was free every day after school, which made life easy, so they made plans to meet up after school in the music department, immediately following the end of afternoon classes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The wide, beaming smile that Chenle flashed Donghyuck in response followed him through the rest of the day and, before he knew it, he found himself sitting behind the piano in Practice Room B, waiting for the freshman to join him. Chenle was running late but Donghyuck didn't mind, lazily pressing keys down on the Baby Grand in front of him, enjoying the soft notes that echoed off the walls of the small, mostly empty room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn't play much anymore, not when others in the group played much better than he did, but he had always enjoyed the way that, when armed with a piano, you could easily create complex imagery with just a few simple flicks of the wrist. He had started to tease out the chords to a few of his favourite songs, the muscle memory coming back quicker than he might have expected, when the door slowly opened and a familiar head of dark hair popped in around the doorframe.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry I’m late, hyung,” Chenle said earnestly, dropping his bag and blazer onto the floor next to the door. He hesitated, glancing from the messy pile of fabric to the piano and then back, before retrieving the jacket and folding it neatly. Placing it back on top of his backpack, he hurried over to where Donghyuck sat, sliding onto the bench seat beside him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine,” Donghyuck told him, shifting to give the smaller boy a bit more space. Then he turned to face him. “So, how do you want to do this?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” Chenle sounded confused, and Donghyuck smiled down at him affectionately. The boy was adorable when he pouted and puffed his cheeks out like that, Donghyuck thought.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you have an idea of what you might want to sing for the audition,” he clarified. Chenle let out a small gasp of understanding, then shook his head. “What about the part you want to try for? I’m guessing I still can’t persuade you to try out for a main role.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not this time,” Chenle agreed, reaching a hand up to play absently with a strand of black hair that had fallen into his eyes. He looked up, meeting Donghyuck’s steady gaze. “I don’t really know what I want. Are there any small parts?” Donghyuck wasn't sure himself, if he was honest, but he made a mental note to ask Jaemin, who was quickly becoming his walking encyclopedia for all things </span>
  <em>
    <span>Les Miserables</span>
  </em>
  <span>. That and the occasional Naver search, which wasn’t proving to be all that helpful.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll find out and we can discuss it next time,” he said, standing up to retrieve his phone from where he had set it down on top of the piano lid. He quickly swiped away a long message from Dongyoung, hoping he'd remember to respond to the man later, and rolled his eyes when he saw the string of colourful memes that appeared under Jaehyun’s name below it. He strongly suspected most of these were actually from Yuta and he resolved to ask his brother to pass his number along to the older man, so that he would more easily be able to distinguish between the messages he was receiving from each of his hyungs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you need to answer those?” Chenle asked softly, as Donghyuck finally navigated away from his lock screen, pulling up a music streaming app instead. The older boy smiled but shook his head, showing Chenle the screen as he answered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine. They can wait.” He tapped the device a few times, pulling up a list of popular music. It was a little odd, Donghyuck thought, seeing music from a few years in his past appear as current releases—it reminded him once again just how alien this place and time was—but at least most of it was familiar. There were a few gaps, most notably those where he knew his own songs would have been charting at this point in his own timeline, but other groups he liked seemed to have continued to make music in NCT’s absence. “Let’s warm up with something easy first. Which of these do you know best?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chenle took a few moments but finally settled on a slow ballad by an artist Donghyuck had thankfully heard of. It was quite a well-known song, and Donghyuck was sure he remembered the basic melody, but he pressed play on the app anyway and set it down. He’d save his mediocre piano skills for songs he knew significantly better.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just sing along as you feel comfortable,” he told a nervous-looking Chenle. The boy had his hands clasped tightly in his lap and was wringing them together, staring intently at the phone resting on the keys in front of them. “We’ll sing together for this first one. Don’t worry about it. It’s just to get your vocal cords stretching and warmed up properly.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He suspected that Chenle wouldn’t start singing alone, so he let the tenor voice on the recording produce the first few notes of the verse and then joined in softly. Donghyuck’s voice wasn't as strong, or as smooth as he wanted it to be, as he was used to, but the basic principle wasn't hard. He let himself start softly, knowing that this much wouldn’t cause him any difficulties, and relished the way that the emotions of the lyrics easily washed over him. He closed his eyes, maintaining the low volume, hoping that not making eye contact might encourage the boy beside him to join in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For several minutes, there was nothing but a tense bubble of silence to his immediate left, even as the lilting strains of the ballad filtered through the space around them. Donghyuck was starting to worry that he had made a big mistake, and that Chenle had been made too uncomfortable by his request, when finally a third voice joined the mix. It was almost inaudible at first, only detectable because Donghyuck was so hyper-aware of the freshman at his side, but, as they sang, Chenle relaxed a little more into each word.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As the song came to an end, Donghyuck opened his eyes, ignoring the phone as it started to play an upbeat new-wave song, and turned to face a trembling Chenle. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Chenle laughed at that, and Donghyuck couldn't help the accompanying chuckle that left his lips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I haven’t sung like that in a long time?” Chenle told him, shrugging. “I forgot how much I enjoyed it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Me too.” Donghyuck wasn't lying—yes, he sang all the time, but it wasn't the same as this. Sitting in a practice room and just singing a random song for fun with one or other of his members wasn't something he had a lot of time for anymore. He hadn't realised how much he’d missed it, just like the boy beside him did in his own way.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry I’m not very good.” At that, he shot Chenle a disapproving stare, which had the boy flushing crimson. Forcing himself to loosen his jaw and soften his expression, he slung an arm around Chenle’s shoulders.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You sounded great,” he insisted, not letting the other boy look away at the compliment. “I mean it, Chenle-yah.” The boy in question started to shake his head dismissively, so Donghyuck pressed on. “It’s the truth. Are you audition ready today? No.” He wanted to be encouraging and supportive, but he wasn't a liar. He was a realist, first and foremost. “Am I? No. We’ve both got a lot of work to do, but we have nearly two weeks to practice.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” Chenle didn't sound completely convinced, but there was a hint of confidence in his voice that hadn't been there before. “Will you teach me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They spent the next hour learning—or, in both of their cases, relearning—basic breathing exercises and vocal warm-up techniques. It would take a lot longer than two weeks to get this voice even close to the condition he had come to expect from himself, Donghyuck knew, but he wasn't about to step on stage in front of twenty thousand people anytime soon. He was auditioning for a high school musical, and he was optimistic that he would manage not to embarrass himself too badly in the process.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chenle, on the other hand, actually had a better handle on the basics than this reality’s Donghyuck did, which would make things easier for both of them. He was rusty, and his voice tired quickly, but the fundamentals he had learnt before he and his mom had moved to Korea were still there, just waiting to be revived and put to good use.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyung?” he muttered, folding his legs under him on the floor of the practice room as Donghyuck demonstrated one of the finer details of a more complex technique. Donghyuck paused mid-flow, blinking down at Chenle in surprise.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” It was the first time the boy had spoken in a while, aside from following Donghyuck’s instructions without question or complaint, so it was probably important. “What’s up?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This feels really familiar,” Chenle told him, running a hand through his hair as he peered up at the older boy from his position on the floor. “I think I learned something similar back home in Shanghai, but I don’t remember.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck paused, thinking carefully through the specific exercise he had been explaining, before a small smile quirked his lips. He didn't answer for a long moment, struggling to think of a way to explain that, yes, it was probably very familiar to Chenle, because Donghyuck had originally learned it from him. Not this Chenle, obviously, but a fourteen-year-old from another time and place, one with endless enthusiasm and talent—a precocious teenager who knew more about performing at that age than most of the older trainees around him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Music is pretty universal,” Donghyuck said finally. It sounded a little empty because he was being deliberately vague. If Chenle noticed, he didn't mention it, quickly turning his attention back to perfecting the exercise in question. Even without most of the experience that Donghyuck’s reality would have offered the boy, his commitment and work ethic was commendable. That was something both Chenles shared, and it filled Donghyuck’s heart with admiration to witness.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At the end of their session, after making sure that they both rehydrated and stretched out the muscles in their backs, the ones he knew from his early trainee days would ache in the morning, they made plans to meet up again the next day after school. Donghyuck knew he had a test on Thursday morning, so Wednesday night wasn’t an option, but Chenle was keen and excited to practice and he didn’t want to let the younger boy down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I promise I won’t be late tomorrow, hyung,” Chenle said, as the pair retrieved their belongings and walked through the empty halls of the main school building. Donghyuck could hear faint noises coming from somewhere nearby, so he knew they weren’t completely alone after hours, but it was the most time he’d spent alone with Chenle since they’d met for the second time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No worries,” Donghyuck told him, pulling him into a loose side hug. The younger boy squirmed, trying to escape him with an easy laugh, and Donghyuck couldn't help but be reminded of the way that the other Chenle hated his attempts at affection most of the time these days. He was torn between happiness, as the similarities between the two physically identical boys emerged with each moment he spent with him, and a strange sense of melancholy, as he realised that the boy in front of him was already growing up—all over again—before his eyes. He wanted to hang onto the clingy, overly-affectionate Chenle for as long as he possibly could, before he was gone this reality too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They reached the parking lot, where a car was idling just outside the main entrance. Chenle pointed to it and then turned to look at Donghyuck. “That’s my mom.” His expression was a little disappointed, like he didn't want to leave. “I have to go. Thank you for today, hyung.” He started to walk away, waving at someone through the tinted windshield of the large sedan. “I’ll see you after school tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bye, Chenle-yah.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tuesday’s session continued in a similar fashion, with the two of them moving on to look at a few songs that Chenle had chosen overnight, which he thought might be suitable for an audition piece. Donghyuck had made sure to ask about parts for him at lunch and, with Jaemin’s guidance, suggested to Chenle that he might be well suited to the part of Gavroche.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s a smaller part, but you would still get a few solo sections,” he explained, once Chenle arrived and sat down next to him on the piano stool, just like he had the previous afternoon. “Gavroche is only eleven or twelve in the story, so the actor who plays him can have a much higher, breathier tone. I think that would suit you at the moment, until you have the chance to develop your lower register a bit more.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How do you know so much about this?” Chenle asked in amazement, staring up at him with wide eyes. “It’s like you’ve been performing all your life, even though you haven’t.” Donghyuck hesitated at that, considering the younger boy’s words.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve done a lot of research,” he answered, deliberately not meeting Chenle’s eye. It was as close as he had ever come to an all-out lie with Chenle, and it didn't sit well with him. Instead, he chose to change the subject. “So, what do you think? Reckon you’re up for the challenge?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll do my best!” With that, they settled in for another hour, selecting a song from Chenle’s list and figuring out a suitable arrangement for the short time allocation he would have in the audition. Donghyuck had started out playing the piano, while he gave Chenle pointers on his vocal technique, but it quickly became clear that the younger boy had more skill on the piano than Donghyuck did—despite his education having been cut somewhat short.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Here,” Donghyuck offered, getting up from the seat and gesturing for Chenle to sit down. “You don’t have to play during the audition, if you don’t want to, but it might help you to relax.” He’d noticed throughout the first half of the session that, whenever Chenle’s hands were occupied by their swift, precise movements across the ivory keys, the boy was less focused on the flaws in his voice. His shoulders relaxed and he looked at ease, focused in a way that he wasn't when his hands had nothing better to do than worry at the hem of his shirt.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They didn't see each other at all on Wednesday, Donghyuck instead joining Jaemin in the library after school to study for their upcoming test. Time passed agonisingly slowly, Donghyuck finding that he missed the hour he might have otherwise spent studying music with one of the youngest members of his family. Eventually, however, Thursday afternoon rolled around and he found himself back in the small practice room once more, waiting for Chenle. He was late, again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, hyung.” Rushing in, chest heaving at having raced through the building to reach the music department after class, Chenle came to a sudden, screeching halt as he took in the look of deep consternation on Donghyuck’s face. “Are you okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck’s gaze was fixed on the piano keys in front of him, and his fingers were curled into position over a chord that he’d played and replayed several times in the past five minutes. He almost didn't notice Chenle as he pressed a new combination of keys, frowning when the notes still didn't sound right to his ear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyung?” Chenle dropped his bag and neatly folded jacket into their usual spot and made his way over to Donghyuck, who had started playing a short, simple sequence of chords that sounded like the beginning of a song. It wove an expressive tapestry of sound around them both for a few moments, but then he hit that same series of keys as before and frowned again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It still doesn’t sound right,” he muttered. Chenle sat down next to him, laying a hand lightly on the older boy’s arm. Donghyuck jumped, glancing up as though surprised to see that he was no longer alone. His hands jerked away from the keys so quickly he almost hit himself in the chest and he paled, eyes darting across Chenle’s face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It sounded great to me,” Chenle told him, and his voice sounded far too loud in the small space. He cringed a little as Donghyuck paled even more, blinking rapidly. “Did you write that?” He paused, seeing the uncomfortable look on his hyung’s face, and backpedalled quickly. “I mean, you don't have to tell me. I should have knocked or, you know, something. I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck blinked a few more times and then shook his head, focusing in on Chenle’s face for the first time since he’d arrived. “No, it’s fine.” He smiled at the younger boy, before looking down at the piano keys once more. “And no, I didn't write it, but it’s an important song to me.” Chenle watched his expression soften for a moment, before becoming inscrutable. “It’s called </span>
  <em>
    <span>Coming Home</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It’s a song I rec—I used to like singing it with some old friends.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s nice. Pretty. Atmospheric...” It was all those things, but Chenle didn't quite understand why it was upsetting the older boy so much. Perhaps it reminded him of something sad, or of someone he missed. “Why did you stop there?” He pointed to Donghyuck’s hands, which had settled back onto the keys he’d been obsessing over when Chenle had arrived.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not the right chord.” Donghyuck sighed, flexing his fingers slowly above the keys. “I was just playing around, singing some songs from—from my past. There’s this one chord, though, that I really can’t remember. I wish I could remember. Taeil-hyung would know.” He cleared his throat. “I mean, he would have known.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chenle wanted to say something to improve the heavy mood in the room, but he wasn't sure how to help Donghyuck. Instead, he went with earnestness, hoping it would make the older boy smile. “It’ll come back to you eventually,” he said, grinning at Donghyuck encouragingly. “If you don’t think about it, it’ll just pop into your head.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For a moment, Donghyuck stared at him, like he was looking deep inside his head and seeing something Chenle didn't even know was there to be seen. Then he nodded, ruffling Chenle’s hair affectionately. “I hope so, Chenle-yah. I really do.” There was more to his words than what existed on the surface, but Chenle didn't know where to start with deciphering it, so he was relieved when Donghyuck changed the subject. “Now, are you ready to work on your song?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Despite his words, they mostly worked on Donghyuck’s song that day, but Chenle didn't mind. He listened as the older boy sang along to the acoustic track he’d found on YouTube, adding feedback and offering suggestions whenever he felt comfortable. Donghyuck always seemed to appreciate his ideas, smiling appreciatively at him every time, and he used most of them. It made Chenle feel useful and valued and, by the end of the hour, both of them were feeling optimistic about their song choices and musical directions.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chenle, are you in here?” They were almost finished tidying up when a figure in the doorway caught his attention. Donghyuck startled beside him, before realising that it was just a sweaty, tired-looking Jisung. The boy had damp patches on the front of his gym shirt, and Chenle knew it was because he had come straight from the dance studio, but he had a small smile on his lips as he met Chenle’s eye.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Jisung,” he replied, giving his friend a small wave. Turning to Donghyuck, who watched Jisung with curiosity, he offered the older boy an explanation. “My mom offered to give Jisung a ride home from school today.” He glanced at Jisung again, whose expression had sobered a little as he turned his attention onto Donghyuck. “He had to stay late for rehearsals tonight so it made sense, since we’re here for practice too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you rehearsing for the dance showcase next week?” Donghyuck asked Jisung, who startled visibly at being addressed by the older boy. “Jaeminie mentioned that you guys had rehearsals until late today. I didn't expect you to be finished yet.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“W—we’re not,” Jisung said hesitantly, as though he’d rather not be speaking at all. Chenle offered him an encouraging grin, so he steeled himself and spoke again. “I can’t get home today unless I ride with Chenle, so I’m leaving early. Both my brothers are busy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” The surprise in Donghyuck’s voice was noticeable to both of them, from the way Chenle saw Jisung’s lips purse, but he didn't say anything else on the matter. He just passed Chenle his bag and blazer up from the floor, holding them out to him when he didn't immediately move to take them from Donghyuck. “Same time tomorrow, Chenle-yah?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chenle glanced over at Jisung, seeing the younger boy shake his head almost imperceptibly. That answered that question, he thought. “I can’t tomorrow, hyung.” He turned to face Donghyuck, but he could still see Jisung’s slightly worried expression out of the corner of his eye. He didn't need to be concerned. Chenle understood exactly what he needed to say. “Jisung invited me to stay over at his house tomorrow. We need to leave straight after school, so I can’t stay.” He smiled when Jisung visibly relaxed, shoulders dropping slightly as the tension drained from him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Monday, then?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Monday,” Chenle agreed. “I’ll be here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Waving to Donghyuck as he moved to join his friend in the doorway, he smiled to himself as Jisung pulled at his arm almost possessively. They made their way quickly through the halls together, finding his mom’s sedan parked up on the kerb where he knew it would be. He pointed to the rear driver’s side door and Jisung pulled it open, placing his gym bag inside. Then the younger boy turned to Chenle, tugging on his sleeve to stop him from walking away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” Jisung said softly, a small smile gracing his features, “for not saying anything.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” he insisted, returning it with a blinding smile of his own. “That’s what best friends are for.” Jisung’s smile grew immeasurably at that, and Chenle didn't think he’d ever get over how much it completely transformed the other boy’s face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>On Friday afternoon, Donghyuck ended up back in Practice Room B again, hunched over the keys of the Baby Grand. He had finally figured out the chord he’d been fussing over the previous day, but a new sticking point towards the middle of the song was causing him fresh grief. He groaned, half tempted to smack a hand down onto the keys in frustration, but he restrained himself. It wasn't the piano’s fault that he hadn’t paid enough attention to the underlying harmonies when he’d first learned the song with Doyoung, Jaehyun and Taeil. He could argue that he hadn’t thought he’d ever need to know them, what with the instrumental easily accessible on the company mainframe whenever he wanted it, but then he’d just be arguing with himself, which would be pointless.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With a sigh, he folded the heavy lid down over the keys and stood up, stretching out the ache in his lower back from all the diaphragm work he’d been putting in with Chenle that week. He knew it would get easier with time, but he’d forgotten how tiring practising after a prolonged hiatus could be. He’d experienced that once before, when he’d been out with an injury, but this was years of neglect instead of just months. The past week had been hell on his respiratory system, but he hoped it would be all worth it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Glancing around the small room, he noticed all of a sudden just how empty it felt with just him in it. He wasn't a stranger to empty practice rooms, not by any means, but at SM they never seemed to stay empty for long. Be it a manager, choreographer, or one of his many members, there was always someone around to interrupt or wander in unannounced. He’d long ago gotten over the lack of privacy, and now this sudden isolation made him uneasy—not to mention more than a little lonely.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knew that Jaemin was only a few hallways away, ensconced in one of the dance studios with the rest of his team, Renjun was in the library studying and Jeno was likely out on the soccer field for practice with Lucas, but, right then, Donghyuck felt the emptiness of this room so acutely it hurt.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Go home,” he muttered to himself, heading for the door. He grabbed his stuff, flicking off the light and shutting the door behind him. It didn't feel right to practice in there without Chenle, he mused. It just wasn't the same, so practising could wait until Monday. As sudden inspiration hit him, he pulled out his phone and sent a quick message to Renjun, asking if he was still in the library. Without waiting for a reply, he headed in the direction of the main section of the school building, which housed the large repository of books.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d find Renjun, get some homework done while they waited for Jaemin to finish his dance rehearsals, then they’d spend the weekend together. He wasn't alone, no matter how alone he had felt in that practice room. He had people around him, the number growing each week, and he needed to remember that. He was never truly alone, not while he had them.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So, Jisung is one secretive kid... I know some of you have had your theories on him, and at least one person has been correct so far. Does this change what you thought? Confirm your suspicions? Create new questions? Again, Jisung's story-arc was one of the first things I wrote down when I initially plotted this story, so it's nice to finally have it out into the multiverse, even if you only get to see a small part of it for now.</p><p>Next chapter, Hyuck's going to go to watch a dance showcase, and you're going to need your member bingo cards again. Hopefully, that will be tomorrow, so I'll see you all then.</p><p>As always, have a wonderful day! :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Chapter 23</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'll keep this short, and just let you get on with the chapter. Thank you for reading. I love you all!</p><p>Enjoy! :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Renjun-ah?” Donghyuck lay sprawled across the sofa in his living room, head pillowed comfortably on Jaemin’s thigh as he stared up at the phone in his hands. He was tempting fate by holding the device directly over his face, but the lights in the room had been dimmed so that they could more easily see the movie playing on the television screen, and proximity to his nose was the only thing that made the message he was reading legible.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” Renjun was seated on the floor, his back pressed up against the large piece of furniture. The top of his head was close enough that Donghyuck could reach out and touch it, if he was so inclined, and tilted back just enough that he could see that the older boy had his eyes closed. Jaemin was the only one watching the movie at this point, the other two distracted by the alert tones from Donghyuck’s phone, but they were all enjoying the quiet, comfortable companionship regardless.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What was my favourite childhood pet?” Renjun let his head fall to the side, resting a cheek against Donghyuck’s thigh as he fixed the other boy with a confused stare. Donghyuck shrugged, holding out the phone so that Renjun could read the words displayed. “That’s what he asked.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You didn't have any pets growing up,” Renjun told him, once he was satisfied that Donghyuck had conveyed the message accurately. “Not that I know of, anyway.” He frowned, pulling Donghyuck’s outstretched hand closer so that he could read the question again. “Why can’t he just ask Jaehyun about all of this?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No clue,” Donghyuck offered, retrieving the device and typing up Renjun’s answer before pressing send. The question had been the latest in a string of increasingly random and oddly specific questions that Dongyoung had been sending him over the past few days, and both Renjun and Donghyuck were exhausted from the mental gymnastics it had taken to answer them. He had started simple, with casual questions about Donghyuck’s family and friends, about the school he attended and about the upcoming drama auditions, but, eventually, they had moved on to more probing questions about his childhood, ones that Donghyuck had struggled to answer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He must really like you,” Jaemin offered, shifting his position beneath Donghyuck to reach for a bowl of snacks on the coffee table in front of him. “That or he hates you and he’s trying to pester you to death.” Donghyuck laughed, but waited until the younger boy was settled back into the sofa again before answering.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m hoping it’s the first one,” he said with an easy smile. He didn't sense any particular malice or ill-intent from Dongyoung’s incessant questioning. Just genuine curiosity and a deep-seated desire to find out more about the kind of person his roommate’s brother was. Donghyuck wasn't that surprised, considering what the man knew about their relationship history, but it was difficult to respond to him when the answers weren’t conveniently stored up inside his brain. They’d quickly delved into topics that Donghyuck had needed Renjun’s help with, hence why the three of them were currently camped out in his living room on a Sunday afternoon, eating through a mountain of snacks and pretending to watch trashy movies whenever his parents checked in on them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you going to ask him?” Renjun asked, turning his attention back to the television. Donghyuck suspected it wouldn't be long before the boy started to fall asleep again—he could feel his own eyelids drooping, whenever he wasn't actively staring at the phone in his hand—but Renjun was trying to stay awake for as long as he could, so that he could help Donghyuck out with Dongyoung’s questioning.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck thought for a moment, then typed out a second message to Dongyoung. “I’m asking him about Mr Perfect.” Jaemin snorted, eliciting a lazy smile from the other two boys. Dongyoung’s questions weren’t exclusively an interrogation, as he’d proposed that they alternate asking each other questions. That way they could both get to know each other better, which Donghyuck had readily agreed to.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So far, most of Donghyuck’s questions had been focused around Dongyoung’s roommates—Jungwoo sang in the shower, as expected; Taeil sometimes sang in his sleep, which was more of a surprise—and his classes, but Donghyuck was starting to get brave. His last few questions had been focused on Dongyoung’s evening Philosophy classes and, now, he’d finally mentioned the mystery man that he was almost certain was NCT’s charismatic leader. Donghyuck couldn't help wanting to extract every last detail about Taeyong from his hyung, in the absence of any concrete plans on how to meet the man himself, and he wasn't above using the random game Dongyoung had instigated as a way to do it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I bet that’ll go well,” Renjun muttered, as the phone pinged and lit up like a flashlight in the darkened room. Quickly, he unlocked the device, scanning Dongyoung’s answer eagerly. Jaemin and Renjun waited in silence, almost as curious for the answer as he was, but, when he didn't say anything for a long moment, Renjun sat up and turned to look at him. “What did he say?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dongyoung-hyung is an idiot,” he told them, handing the phone over his head for Jaemin to read. Renjun held out a hand to the younger boy, waiting impatiently for his turn, as Donghyuck smiled to himself and shook his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dongyoung had yet to actually follow Donghyuck’s advice, just to walk up to the object of his affection after class one day and simply say hello, but, as the message explained, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> tried to return the man’s smile, when their eyes had met during class on Thursday evening. As he told it, Dongyoung didn't think it had gone that badly but, the following evening, Mr Perfect’s usual seat at the front of the room had been empty.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I think I scared him off.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He might, in fact, be an idiot,” Renjun agreed, handing him back the phone. Donghyuck rolled his eyes at the last line of the long message one more time, before typing out a quick message reassuring the older man that there was probably a perfectly good reason that he had been absent during class time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Has he ever missed class before?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck waited patiently for an answer to his question, content to yawn widely as he settled deeper into the seat cushions, his phone held snugly against his chest. The response was so long in coming that he almost drifted off, Renjun already snuffling softly in sleep below him as the credits of the movie started to play on the television, but the tell-tale ping of an arriving message jolted him from sleep long enough to lift one arm to his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>A few times, actually, now I think about it. Maybe I was overreacting?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You think?” he mumbled sarcastically to himself, dropping the phone onto the sofa next to him as he let his eyes drift shut slowly. He’d respond to the message when they woke, but Dongyoung was a smart man. He might not properly employ all of his mental faculties when it came to Mr Perfect—when it came to Taeyong—but he wasn't stupid. He’d figure it out eventually, and then he’d either muster up the courage to talk to his crush or Donghyuck would drive up there and do it for him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Monday and Tuesday passed by in a blur of activity, as Jaemin and the rest of the school’s dancers made their last-minute preparations before the showcase on Tuesday evening. On Tuesday, Donghyuck and Renjun ate lunch in the cafeteria without Jaemin for the first time in weeks, and the younger boy’s absence was palpable.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>During his time at the school so far, Donghyuck had quickly grown used to the way that Jaemin and Renjun bickered over the smallest things at lunch, as well as how the younger boy always seemed able to effortlessly fill each awkward silence with some inane conversation or other. In his absence, the pair ate quickly, neither offering up much in the way of discourse. It wasn't uncomfortable or unpleasant, but it definitely felt like something was missing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin had disappeared from class half-way through Tuesday morning, summoned to the dance studio alongside several other students via an announcement over the tannoy system. Their rehearsals were due to continue throughout the afternoon, right up until showtime, so Renjun and Donghyuck went to the library after school to wait out the couple of hours before the showcase began.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When the clock struck a quarter to six, they made their way down to the auditorium, where a small set of bleachers had been pulled out from the far wall, allowing the gathered students and parents to get a good view of the large, rectangular mats that had been set up in the centre of the room. The area was neatly outlined with black tape, allowing the whole thing to be removed easily after the showcase, and at least twenty students were spread out inside as they warmed up and stretched.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin made finger guns at them as they walked past, heading for the bleachers, and they quickly waved back when they spotted him. Selecting a pair of seats somewhere near the middle, Donghyuck scanned the dancers in front of them. Jaemin was stretching with Soonyoung, who was somehow contorting his leg into a wholly unnatural position, even as he managed to carry on a casual conversation with their friend.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Just behind them, Jisung sat cross-legged on the floor at the very edge of one of the mats talking to Chenle, who knelt just outside the tape lines like he had been expressly forbidden to cross them. As tense as Jisung often looked in other settings, Donghyuck was glad to see that the freshman looked relaxed and at ease at the moment. As a once painfully shy trainee, he had always been most in his element when dancing, and it seemed like that would prove to be true again here too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Injunie, that’s Hendery,” Donghyuck hissed, tapping the older boy’s upper arm a little too forcefully as he pointed down at a pair of students warming up together to Jisung’s immediate left. “And Yang Yang.” Renjun winced, side-eying his friend as he rubbed at the sensitive flesh of his arm, but nodded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good to know I was right,” he mused, easily following Donghyuck’s gaze. “Yang Yang we already knew, but I wasn't totally sure about Kunhang, if you’ll remember.” Donghyuck didn't specifically remember that name having been mentioned before, but he did recall that Renjun had initially had a particular student in mind from Donghyuck’s description. That student must have been Hendery—or Kunhang.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kunhang?” he asked, the name sparking a fleeting moment of recognition inside his head before it fled just as quickly. “What family name?” Feeling guilty that he had never bothered to learn his member’s real name the first time around, he was determined to make sure it stuck this time. He resolved to use whatever opportunities he was afforded here to learn more about both of the boys, and by extension Dejun. It wouldn't all translate over to the three slightly estranged brothers that he’d left behind, but it was as good a start as any to forming stronger relationships with them when he returned to his reality.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wong Kunhang,” Renjun supplied, glancing around furtively to see if anyone was watching before he retrieved a familiar folded list from his pocket. He found Hendery’s name near the bottom of the second page and added the boy’s birth name in, before ticking both of them off neatly. “And Liu Yang Yang.” He tapped the name below Hendery’s with the nib of the pen. There was already a tick beside the younger boy’s name, but Renjun traced over it again for emphasis.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wonder if Jaemin will introduce us,” Donghyuck started to say, as a few latecomers hurried across the auditorium towards the bleachers, but then the lights dimmed and one of the dance coaches started to speak into a microphone. She had to pause a few times, as the sound system emitted a deafening, earsplitting squeal, but she eventually managed to introduce the first of the groups that would be performing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“First up tonight, we have our classical ballet performance team,” the woman said, waving an arm towards a group of six students who broke off from the main group and arranged themselves in a circle at the centre of the large, taped off-stage area. The rest of the performers had vacated the space and were now sitting around the edge, watching their fellow dancers expectantly. Donghyuck clapped politely along with the crowd, vaguely aware that music was starting to play through the speaker system. He knew he should be watching the performance, but his eye was drawn to the familiar faces seated around the edges instead.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s Jaemin’s turn next,” Renjun said, elbowing him in the gut when he failed to applaud the end of the first dance. He blinked, wrenching his gaze from Yang Yang, who was biting his lip thoughtfully as he stared off into space, and focused on Renjun’s face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Huh?” Renjun just pointed at Jaemin in answer, and Donghyuck saw that their friend was getting up from the floor, talking rapidly to a girl beside him that Donghyuck didn't recognise. Yang Yang quickly got to his feet too, sharing a fist bump with Jaemin as they took their positions in the stage area. The coach introduced them as the 11th-grade street dance team, and then the music started. Donghyuck quickly found himself engrossed in the intricacies of their performance, smiling widely as the two boys he recognised performed effortlessly in front of the small crowd. They weren't perfect, and he could see areas that he knew that Jaemin would pick apart for their faults tomorrow, but they were enjoyable and engaging to watch. He cheered loudly with Renjun as it ended, and Jaemin beamed up at them as the team took their bows.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Next up were several performances from groups of students where he didn't recognise anyone, although he found himself enjoying almost all of them, followed by the senior competition team led by Soonyoung. Hendery was part of this group too, alongside five other seniors that Donghyuck didn't know. The coach told the crowd proudly that the seniors had choreographed the entire thing themselves and, when they started to move, Donghyuck had to admit that he was impressed. The group had a slick synchronicity to it that most of the younger students had yet to fully master, and the piece flowed so smoothly that Donghyuck lost track of time between sequences. By the end, he felt like he’d been taken on an emotional journey, and he realised he’d forgotten to watch his friends on the sidelines in favour of the action on stage.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Finally,” the coach said, commanding the attention of the audience once more, “we have a special treat for you all.” She beamed, clasping her hands together as she watched a group of ten or so nervous-looking freshmen students scramble to their feet at the sound of her voice. Jisung’s face was serious and focused as he stepped around Jaemin, who patted his arm supportively, but he didn't look half as worried as the trembling girl who followed him out into the middle of the room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“These are our new 10th grade dancers,” the coach continued. “They have only been working with us for a few short weeks at this point, but the other coaches and I are already so impressed with their talent and their hard work.” Jisung’s face flushed slightly at that, his focus firmly on the upper far right corner of the bleachers, and a tiny smile spread across his lips. Donghyuck leant forward, peering up into the crowd as he tried to see who the boy was looking at, but then the group was moving into position and the room went completely black.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This performance wasn't like the others. Each of the teams that had come before had worked mostly in unison, performing sequences of moves as a team—varying in complexity depending on their experience. The youngest students didn't have that luxury, having not really had long enough yet to develop a harmonious working relationship with one another, so the shared steps were minimal. Instead, through clever use of several spotlights mounted onto the wall of the auditorium, each student was given time to showcase their talents individually.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were all good, Donghyuck hadn't expected anything less, but Jisung stood out by a country mile. His eyes were blazing with passion and determination when his turn came in the spotlight, and he launched into a short, energetic hip-hop routine that Donghyuck recognised as being quintessentially Jisung—with an edge of something different, yet still familiar mixed in, like he’d absorbed someone else’s style alongside his own. He was unpolished, reminding Donghyuck of the adorable kid who had popped and locked his way into the public eye on the Disney Channel all those years ago, but the huge potential was still there.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When they finished their performance and the lights came back on, the freshmen received easily the loudest applause of the night. The coach thanked everyone for coming, they all applauded again, and then the showcase was over. Without further ceremony, many of the dancers climbed up into bleachers to greet their parents and yet more people joined the group milling around in the centre of the room. Tugging him to his feet, Renjun led Donghyuck down to where Jaemin stood with Jisung and Chenle, the latter of whom was hopping excitedly from one foot to the other as he talked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You were so good, Jisung-ah,” he was saying as they reached the small group, much to Jisung’s embarrassment. He rolled his eyes at his friend, trying hard not to let loose the smile he was holding back as Chenle let out an excitable squeak. “That was amazing!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s right, Jisungie,” Jaemin agreed, clapping a hand down on the boy’s shoulder. Jisung tucked his chin into his chest as he blushed and scrunched up his nose, then whispered something to Jaemin that was too low for Donghyuck to hear. He grabbed Chenle’s hand, and they both disappeared into the crowd. Donghyuck tried to follow their trajectory for a few moments, but it was like they had vanished without a trace. Instead, he turned his attention back to Jaemin, whose face lit up when he spotted them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well done, Jaemin-ah,” Donghyuck said. Renjun just smiled in silent agreement, but Donghyuck saw Jaemin’s chest puff with pride at the affectionate way that their friend was looking at him. For a long moment, the two of them just stared at each other, the rest of the world fading around them as they shared something intimate that Donghyuck wasn’t a party to, then someone passed between them and severed the connection.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nice job tonight, Jaemin.” Hendery stepped up next to him, pulling Jaemin into a loose one-armed hug. “Soonyoung and I were both very impressed. I told him just how much work you put in over the last few days, especially with you having to switch up the routine at the last minute.” Jaemin reluctantly dragged his attention from Renjun to the man at his hip, but seemed to be pleased by his teammate’s praise.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, hyung.” Yang Yang chose that moment to join them, reaching an arm out to fist bump Jaemin again. Jaemin eyed the boy meaningfully, before glancing back up at Hendery. “It wasn't just me though. The rest of the team worked just as hard, including Yang Yang.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hendery looped his free arm around Yang Yang’s neck, pulling the boy in next to Jaemin. “I know.” He ruffled their hair and both boys smacked him away while wearing twin scowls, neither of which lasted long. “You both did great.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Still need to work on that third floor transition though,” Yang Yang said, glancing over at Jaemin, who nodded. “We weren’t nearly as neat on that as we have been in practice.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tomorrow,” Hendery insisted, giving both boys an affectionate squeeze. “You can work on it tomorrow.” He seemed to notice Renjun and Donghyuck then, both of whom watched the exchange with interest. “Hi, Renjunie.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kunhang-ge,” Renjun said with a small, respectful bob of his head. He glanced at Yang Yang and repeated the motion. “Yang Yang.” He poked Donghyuck in the arm, this time causing the younger boy to wince, and introduced him. “This is Lee Donghyuck. He’s in the drama society with Dejun-ge.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nice to meet you. My name is Wong Kunhang.” The senior boy gave Donghyuck a small wave, loosening his grip on Jaemin as he did so, and Donghyuck grinned at him in return. “Dejun has mentioned you before, obviously, but I don’t think we’ve ever met.” As if sensing a good opportunity, Renjun started to explain their friendship to the two boys and, soon, the five of them were chatting easily.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The two international students were surprisingly easy to talk to, and they didn't seem to have any preconceived expectations of how Donghyuck was meant to act, which was refreshing. Donghyuck was grateful for his friends too, both of whom helped keep the conversation flowing smoothly—even when the slight language barrier required Renjun to translate something he was saying for Kunhang’s benefit—and he found himself relaxing into their interaction.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I should go and talk to my parents,” Yang Yang said a while later, making eye contact with someone over Donghyuck’s shoulder. Jaemin was still laughing at something Kunhang had said, something Donghyuck still wasn't convinced was actually funny, and Renjun was watching the pair with bemusement. “It was nice to meet you, Donghyuck.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You too.” He turned to follow the movement as the younger boy walked away, greeting a man and woman who waited patiently just a handful of steps away from their group. He watched the man pull Yang Yang in for a hug but, as he moved, Donghyuck’s eye was inescapably drawn to a familiar face in the crowd behind them. He squinted, sure that he recognised it from somewhere, but, when he focused on the spot again, the face was gone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stepped to one side, peering around Yang Yang’s family as he searched the sea of faces for the one he was sure he had seen, but with no luck. He frowned, trying to force his brain to supply a name, but the fleeting glimpse had not been enough. The knowledge hovered right on the edge of his consciousness, tantalisingly close but just out of reach, and he sighed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What about you, Hyuck?” At the sound of his own name, he wheeled back around to find three sets of eyes on him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, what?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A bunch of the dance team are going out to get dinner together, to celebrate,” Renjun explained. “Kunhang-ge asked if we wanted to go, since Jaemin is going to be there.” Donghyuck thought he saw a hint of concern in Renjun’s eyes as they made eye contact, but the boy’s tone was light. “I said I’d go if you did.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You should come,” Jaemin interjected, gaze flicking from Renjun to Donghyuck and back. “You should both come. It’ll be fun.” Jaemin seemed to be pleading with Donghyuck with his eyes, begging him to say yes. He hadn't ever been able to say no to Jaemin when he wanted something that badly, and he didn't see any reason to start now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” He shrugged. “Sure.” Jaemin beamed. Behind him, Kunhang called Soonyoung and the rest of the seniors over. Dejun appeared from somewhere behind them too, although Donghyuck didn't remember having seen him earlier, and slowly the group of students that were eating together grew to around fifteen. He didn't know most of them, but it didn't matter. He hoped that he could use the time to get to know the ones he did know even better.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chenle-yah, do you know where Jisung is?” Kunhang asked, as the freshman materialised from wherever he’d disappeared off to with Jisung. “I was wondering if his parents would let him come with us.” Chenle had his bag and coat with him, and looked startled to have been addressed by the senior directly. Kunhang smiled down at him kindly and Chenle flushed. “You would obviously be welcome too, if you wanted to come with him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jisung left,” Chenle said quickly, avoiding Kunhang’s gaze as he spoke. “His family needed to get home.” At that, Donghyuck’s head snapped up, curious as to exactly which members of Jisung’s family had been in attendance during the showcase, but there was no way to ask Chenle about it without sounding like a crazy person. “I need to go too. I’m sorry. Maybe next time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chenle didn't wait for a response, hurrying away from them like someone was chasing him. Donghyuck caught Renjun’s questioning gaze, shrugging in answer to the unspoken question. He had no more idea than Renjun did why Chenle had run away like that. It wasn't like him at all. He suspected it had something to do with Jisung, and how cagey both boys had been acting lately, but he’d have to ask Chenle about it another day. For now, he’d join his friends—established and fledgeling alike—and try to have some fun.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>First things first, someone mentioned that they didn't think YY had yet been mentioned in the story so far. I was worried I'd made a mistake so I went back to check. He was mentioned once by name, back in Chapter 6. It was very brief, but it's there...</p><p>Second, I had an interesting question in the comments on the last chapter about how far into the story I thought we were. Instead of just replying to that person, I thought some of you might be interested in my answer too. I can't be 100% sure, but I'd guess we're a good bit shy of halfway through at this point. That might put some of you off, or it might make some of you happy, but I started the fic with 200k in my head as a rough estimate and I suspect it won't be far off. I just hope we can power through to that point without it taking too long.</p><p>As ever, have a wonderful day! (Especially at the moment, with everything going on around the world, I hope that everyone stays safe, happy and healthy. Remember that hope and positivity have immeasurable power to exact change, if we stay true to ourselves!) &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Chapter 24</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Today, you get another new perspective. This chapter was a really fun one to write and envision, so I hope you like it. :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Kim Dongyoung, it would be fair to say, was not having a particularly good day.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>First, he had overslept, meaning that he’d been nearly fifteen minutes late to his first class of the day. That had been bad enough; he’d only received a mild chastising from his favourite professor as a result, but he’d left home in a hurry without his laptop. Turning up to his Advanced Psych study group—the one he needed to actively participate in, in order to pass the class—without it would be a death sentence, so he’d been forced to go home at lunch to get it. That had, in turn, made him late for his first afternoon lecture.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the time he finally made it to the Philosophy building just before five, he was exhausted, flustered and really not looking forward to two hours of a subject he’d grown to despise with a passion. The silver lining of the evening class had always been the beautifully terrifying man who sat six rows in front of him, but even he had been missing for the last two days in a row. Dongyoung didn't hold out much hope that he would be there today either and, given that unfortunate reality, he wasn't feeling too optimistic about turning his mood around any time soon.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hurrying into the small lecture theatre with just thirty seconds to spare, narrowly avoiding winning a tardiness trifecta in just one day, he made his way to his usual seat. Not too far from the projector, yet not too close as to make it seem like he wanted the professor to call on him to answer questions, he had grown quite attached to his spot. It also wasn't because it gave him an unimpeded view of the back of a certain someone’s head, he swore to himself, but he’d be lying if he said that he didn't enjoy that particular added benefit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He slid his laptop bag carefully onto the seat next to him, knowing that no one else would want to use it, and rummaged around in his backpack for his Philosophy textbook. No one had ever tried to sit next to him, not once in the year that he’d been sitting in this specific seat, across five different classes, but he liked it that way. With one glaring exception, he had no interest in making acquaintances in this department. He was too busy, what with frat business and his work in the Psychology faculty across campus, to make new friends.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was mentally calculating how many more minutes he’d have had to spend on the bus each year if he had become a Philosophy major instead, as he waited for class to begin. His eyes automatically scanned the front row of seats, not expecting to find what he was looking for. The man wouldn't be there, and he’d be resigned to having to actually pay attention to the—Dongyoung paused, gaze landing heavily on the back of a head he was sure he could sketch from memory.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His hair was dark and perfectly styled, almost glossy under the fluorescent strip lighting above their heads, and the cut faded subtly into a long, pale neck beneath a simple, white collared shirt. Dongyoung wondered, not for the first time, if said hair would feel as soft as it looked from where he sat. He’d never been close enough to tell for sure—for all he knew, it could be just an illusion—but he thought it looked soft. His fingers twitched instinctually and he fisted his hands in his lap to keep from moving.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As if sensing someone staring, the man shifted in his seat but didn't turn around. Instead, he simply raised a hand to his nape, teasing the tiny hairs there with his long fingers. Several silver rings flashed just below his knuckles and Dongyoung could help but glance down at the expanse of pale, naked skin on his own hands. He wasn’t completely clueless about style but he didn't hold a candle to this man, who made every day in class into his own personal fashion show, even if he didn't seem aware of most of the attention he received. This man was so far out of Dongyoung’s league, it was ridiculous, Dongyoung knew from experience. It wasn't even close.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Class started then, forcing Dongyoung out of his thoughts for a while, as the older man at the front of the room started to explain in detail an interim assessment that would make up a good portion of his grade in this class. It was important information, which Dongyoung made sure to note down on a clean page in his notes, but he couldn't help the way that his attention drifted unbidden back to the middle of the front row every few minutes, whenever there was a lull in exposition.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The third time this happened, Dongyoung was alarmed to suddenly be making eye contact with the man Yuta had dubbed Mr Goddamn Perfect, who had turned around in his seat to stare straight back at him. Well, not at </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Dongyoung reasoned, as the man’s eyes flicked from his face to the students around him and then back. He was looking at everyone—although he hadn’t taken his eyes off of Dongyoung in a little too long to be considered an accident. Could he be…?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dongyoung’s eyes widened as he watched the man’s lips curl up into a devastating smile, one that didn't fade or shift as he kept his gaze locked unwaveringly onto Dongyoung’s face. One brow hitched as the man maintained steady eye contact, as if daring Dongyoung to respond, so he hesitantly returned the grin with a small smile of his own. When Mr Perfect saw it, his face lit up even more, if that was even possible. It made him look almost ethereal, and the way his dark eyes glinted under the lights made it seem like they held a secret that only he knew. One that he was willing to share with Dongyoung, if he was only willing to fall into their depths.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Get yourself together,” Dongyoung muttered under his breath, wrenching his gaze from the mysterious stranger that he had been watching from afar for over a year. He was getting himself worked up over a smile, of all things. This man, regardless of how beautiful and utterly perfect he appeared to Dongyoung, smiled at everyone. Dongyoung had seen it, having had his fair share of those smiles over the past year too. Of course, he reacted to them; he’d be blind not to, but he’d be a fool if he let himself start to wonder if there was anything special about the way this man had been looking at him in particular. Dongyoung, unlike Mr Perfect, was nothing special.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he finally mustered up the courage to look over at the man again, Dongyoung was both relieved and disappointed to see that he had turned his attention back to the front of the room again. He looked for all the world like he was engrossed in whatever concept the professor was currently expounding upon, unaffected by the shared moment that had shaken Dongyoung so completely. Further proof that he was overreacting to something utterly ordinary, Dongyoung told himself, picking up his pen and attempting to tune back into the lecture. He wasn't able to avoid a few furtive glances in the man’s direction, whenever the urge became too great, but he was proud to have produced several pages of semi-coherent notes by the end of class.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the time the professor clicked onto the final slide of his presentation, one that reminded the room of the importance of meeting the strict deadlines for the interim assignment, Dongyoung already had his laptop in its case and his backpack on his lap. He usually stayed seated for a few minutes after class—although definitely not so that he could catch a brief glimpse of a certain someone passing by his row as he left—but all Dongyoung wanted to do was go home at this point.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn't particularly want to be reminded that he was still no closer to even knowing Mr Perfect’s name, especially not after Jaehyun’s little brother had gently reminded him several times that week how pathetic that fact was. Instead, he decided to make a swift getaway, pushing up out of his seat as soon as they were done and inching his way down the row towards the aisle, bag slung over one shoulder and gaze locked on the exit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” He stumbled as he entered the central aisle, bumping hard into someone from the side as they tried unsuccessfully to inhabit the exact same section of space as him. Stepping backwards instinctively, he almost fell back into the seat at the end of the row, but strong fingers wrapped themselves around his wrist, holding him upright.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” he said quickly, turning to face the person he’d just collided with, an apologetic frown on his lips. “I didn't see you there—” He broke off, eyes widening in panic for the second time that afternoon as he met a familiar pair of expressive brown eyes—eyes that were currently sweeping over his face, inspecting every inch.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s my fault. I should have been looking where I was going.” Dongyoung’s gaze fell to the man’s lips as he spoke, just for a moment, before he forced them back up to his eyes. They were full and pouty, just like he’d imagined they would be, and the teeth that flashed behind them were bright and straight. It was the first time he had seen Mr Perfect up this close, and he had to force himself not to peruse the man’s features further. That would not come across well, so he forced his gaze to remain fixed on those eyes—eyes that seemed to see far deeper into him than Dongyoung ever wanted anyone to see.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I—You were gone yesterday.” If someone asked Dongyoung even five minutes later, he would not have been able to explain to them—or himself, for that matter—what he was thinking in that moment, but the words were out of his mouth before he had time to process the fact that his lips were moving. He swallowed hard, trying to step away, but the man still held his wrist. “I mean, I didn't see you, so…” He didn't know where he was going with that sentence either, so he abandoned it, falling silent.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m surprised you noticed,” the man said with a laugh, a soft chuckle that wafted over him like a delicate, summer breeze. Dongyoung wondered if he’d ever heard a laugh that adorable before, and he couldn't help the soft smile that it elicited. “No one else does.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wanted to ask if he was kidding—he had to be, because how could people not notice when this man was missing—but he knew that would make him seem even more deranged than the man probably already thought he was. Instead, he went for a slightly less creepy statement. “I sit a few rows behind you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh. I’m surprised you noticed,” he mimicked. This time it was Mr Perfect’s turn to smile, all teeth and squishy cheeks. He brushed a hand through his dark hair, temporarily ruffling the careful perfection, before shaking his head gently to force the strands back into place.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I noticed,” the man said, before his lips pressed into a tight line. He seemed to be deep in thought for a moment, then his smile was back in full force, threatening to take Dongyoung’s breath away. “I’ve seen you in these classes so many times, but I’ve never seen you around the department. I’d know if I had. What’s your name?” Dongyoung was so shocked to hear the phrase he’d rehearsed inside his head for so long come out of the other man’s mouth that, for a few seconds, he didn't speak. The man’s face fell. “You don’t have to—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s Dong—Do...young.” He spoke so quickly that he barely recognised his own name, tripping over the word in his haste, but he didn't want to be the reason that the blinding smile left this man’s face for even a heartbeat longer. If he wanted to know Dongyoung’s name, no matter the unlikelihood of the interest being genuine, who was Dongyoung to argue?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Doyoung?” Dongyoung hesitated a fraction of a second too long before opening his mouth, before correcting the man on the mistake that he’d caused by stumbling over his own damn name, but then it was too late. “Doyoung,” the man repeated happily. “Nice to meet you, Doyoung-ssi. I’m Taeyong.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyong held out a hand to Dongyoung, who took it automatically, mercifully not letting any of his panic show on his face as his fingers closed around the other man’s hand. “Hi,” he managed to spit out, when he realised that Taeyong was waiting for him to say something.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi.” Another soft laugh washed over Dongyoung, and he barely registered that most of the other students had already left the room while they had been talking. When neither of them spoke again for a long moment, fingers still tangled together in the space between their bodies, Taeyong pulled away with a shy smile. “My little brother had a school thing that I promised I’d go to.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Huh?” Dongyoung frowned, not following Taeyong’s abrupt conversation shift.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s why I wasn't here yesterday,” the man offered with a shrug. “It was important, or I would have been here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” Dongyoung tucked his hand, the one that Taeyong had just released, into the pocket of his jeans, just for something to do. “You don’t need to explain yourself to me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wanted you to know.” For a long, stifling moment, Dongyoung let himself be pulled in by Taeyong’s keen, intelligent gaze, losing himself amongst the millions of fascinating truths that he knew were hidden just behind the facade, if only he was brave and reckless enough to take the plunge. He briefly contemplated what his friends would advise him to do, if they were here, before deciding that Yuta probably wasn't the best source for flirting tips. Then he remembered Donghyuck’s words from a week or so ago, the ones he’d hardly been able to forget since.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Just ask him his name.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That moment was long gone now, Taeyong having beaten him to the punch, but maybe he could still follow the boy’s advice—oddly poignant as it was from someone his age. What if all he needed to do was ask, Dongyoung thought? What was the worst that could happen?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Without giving himself time to back out, he focused on Taeyong and cleared his throat. “Do you, uh, maybe want to grab coffee with me? The cafe across the quad is probably still open.” When Taeyong said nothing, just staring at him, mouth slightly open in surprise, he rushed to clarify. “We could talk about the assignment,” he ran out of courage at that moment, and trailed off, “if you want…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I—” Taeyong’s gaze flicked to the door at the back of the room, over Dongyoung’s shoulder. Dongyoung followed the movement, turning to see a tall, willowy man silhouetted in the doorway, watching their exchange with a guarded expression. When their eyes met, Taeyong sighed. “I can’t, Doyoung-ssi. I’m sorry. I have to—” He gestured to the man in the doorway.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s totally fine.” Suddenly, Dongyoung wanted to be anywhere but here. He couldn't quite bring himself to regret his momentary boldness, but he wasn't stupid. He’d seen the other man waiting for Taeyong after class many times before, and it was clear to him now that the two of them were more than just friends. Taeyong had often slung an arm around the man’s shoulders as they left the building, the two leaning into each other intimately as they walked, and Dongyoung could interpret body language. He just wished he’d seen it sooner. “I understand. I won’t keep you from your boyfriend any longer.” He adjusted his grip on his laptop bag and then smiled at Taeyong tightly. “Forget I asked. It was nice to meet you, Taeyong-ssi.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait, it’s not… He’s my—” Taeyong started to say, but Dongyoung was already moving, heading in the opposite direction of the man watching him like a hawk from the back of the theatre. There was another door towards the front, which very few people used because it led out to the wrong side of the building, but it would be worth it not to be in this room anymore, after he’d asked out a man whose boyfriend might well have been watching them as he did so. A man who was one hundred and fifty percent out of his league.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he was several long, empty hallways clear of the lecture theatre, lost somewhere deep in the bowels of the sprawling Philosophy building, Dongyoung finally allowed himself to breathe. His cheeks were flaming, and his heart was doing some impressive acrobatics inside his rib cage, but he was still in one place, even if he didn't feel that way. Deep down, he knew that he wasn't the only person ever to make the mistake he’d just made, but that didn't make it feel any less like the end of the world right then.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His phone vibrated in his pocket, punctuating the stillness that had borne witness to Dongyoung’s laboured breathing and racing heartbeat. Eager for the distraction, he pulled it out and searched out the new message on the screen. It was Taeil, asking him to drop by the convenience store on campus to pick something up before he left, but, as he flicked the screen to dismiss the message, another from Donghyuck popped up to replace it. It had been sent fifteen minutes earlier, just as Dongyoung would have been due to leave class, if only he hadn't bumped into Taeyong.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>How did it go in class today? Speak to Mr Perfect yet?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dongyoung’s heart sank at the words, even as a spark of warmth tried to swell inside his chest. He didn't know why he’d started opening up to Jaehyunie’s little brother about his struggles involving the man he’d just run from, but the boy had demonstrated wisdom well beyond his years in their conversations thus far.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was still convinced that Donghyuck was hiding something important about himself, and their messages back and forth over the past week hadn't helped his case any in Dongyoung’s mind, but he had to admit that it was nice to talk to someone other than his roommates for a change. Donghyuck was just familiar enough to make it not weird, but was detached enough from his life that he didn’t feel too pressured.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Not great.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As he pressed send on the message, he realised that he wasn't ready to face Donghyuck’s inevitable questions about the complete mess he’d made of the situation, so he quickly typed out a new message, hoping that he could preemptively deflect the conversation onto something a little more lighthearted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He thinks my name is Doyoung…</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Donghyuck didn't immediately respond, Dongyoung started to head down the hallway he’d been standing in, hoping that he wouldn't run into Taeyong or his boyfriend as he found his way back to the front of the building. Relieved when he didn't encounter anyone else at this time on a Wednesday evening, Dongyoung made quick work of the shopping Taeil had requested, before catching the next bus back to the Greek part of campus.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was almost home when his phone buzzed again, vibrating rapidly against his leg as he hurried to pull it out, curious as to what his pint-sized new relationship guru would have to say. He laughed despite himself as he read the message, baffled by the excessive punctuation that accompanied the three-word question.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Did you stutter?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shaking his head, he sidestepped a large group of female students walking in the opposite direction down the sidewalk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>A little.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The response was almost immediate.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Did you get his name, at least?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I did.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Well?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He rolled his eyes at the eagerness that was palpable even through the phone, but took pity on the boy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>His name is Taeyong.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Donghyuck didn't respond for a few minutes, Dongyoung wondered if he’d made a mistake in telling him. He wasn't sure why, but the silence as he walked felt weighted. He was just starting to worry, irrational though that was, when the phone in his hand vibrated once more.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What are you going to do about the name?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What do you mean?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He did know. He just hadn't figured out the solution yet. Provided that Taeyong ever wanted to speak to him again—which, after the disaster that their first conversation had been, was debatable—he was still stuck having accidentally given the man a name that didn't belong to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Hyung! Your name. You have to tell him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He thought about it for a moment, then sighed. He didn't want to admit it to himself, but he knew the answer. It was the only option available to him. He couldn't correct himself now, not when he hadn’t immediately cleared up the misunderstanding, because Taeyong wouldn't understand. The only option left for him was to continue to live in the idiotic lie that he’d created for himself, and to hope that the other man never found out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I can’t. That’s just my name now, I guess… RIP me.</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Welp. DoTae is off to an excellent start... if only either of them had any brain cells when it came to each other.</p><p>As always, have a wonderful day! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Chapter 25</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter is one in which I push the plot along a bit. This really needs to happen as I feel like it's dragging a little and I do actually want this story to end, eventually. Not the most thrilling chapter in the world but, to make up for it, tomorrow we're getting the love triangle from hades, NoRenMin, all in one room for the first time. Should be fun... what could possibly go wrong?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>In the two days that followed the dance showcase, the small practice room at the end of the Performing Arts corridor became something of a second home for Donghyuck. For an hour or two at a time, during lunch and then immediately after school, Chenle joined him, the two working on their audition songs together. The rest of the time, however, at least until one of the hapless janitorial staff forcibly removed him from the room, Donghyuck worked on his own, pacing the small space in an endless circuit as he worked relentlessly to perfect each note, breath and cadence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn't think he’d ever be completely satisfied by the voice he was working with but, when Friday morning arrived, Donghyuck thought that he’d prepared as well as could be expected, given the circumstances. It wasn't the first time that he’d be performing the song, having chosen something of particular sentimental value, but it would definitely feel raw with his lack of vocal training. He just hoped that this rawness would come across as character, and not as poor technique.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As he entered the school building that morning, Donghyuck felt like his whole body had become a twisted, knotted mess of nerves and random lyric fragments—and he quickly realised that he was not taking in a single word uttered by any of his teachers—but, eventually, the lunch bell rang and he joined Renjun and Jaemin in the cafeteria. The pair made quiet conversation around him, sensing that he was not in the mood to join in, but they both wished him luck before he headed to the auditorium to see if Dejun needed any help setting up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He spotted Chenle as he entered, the younger boy already having claimed a seat in the very centre of the third row. The chairs spread out around him had been set up to face the raised stage area at one end of the large room, the very stage that would later play host to their performances, rotated ninety degrees from the bleachers that had been pulled out for the showcase earlier in the week. It would help students to get a sense of what performing on stage would be like, since many might have never done so before. It also acutely reminded Donghyuck of performing on </span>
  <em>
    <span>School Attack</span>
  </em>
  <span>, a show he’d done with his members several times in the past, but it was a strange feeling to have become one of the spectating students in the scenario.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Chenle-yah,” he greeted the freshman, who turned at the sound of his voice and flashed him a nervous grin. Chenle waved in greeting, as Donghyuck sidestepped slowly along the third row to take a seat beside him, then pointed to the empty rows of chairs in front of them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I would have sat right at the front, but Dejun-hyung said that was for the judges.” Chenle flushed slightly, and Donghyuck saw the senior emerging from stage left with a pile of sound equipment in his arms. The boy eyed Chenle fondly as he moved, raising his eyebrows when he caught sight of Donghyuck sat alongside him, and then groaned in frustration as he promptly dropped several of the items he was carrying.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We should probably go and help him,” Donghyuck told Chenle. The younger boy’s eyes widened, like that idea hadn't even occurred to him, and they spent the next ten minutes making themselves useful. Chenle made quick work of setting up a foldable keyboard stand and arranging speakers on stage, while Dejun was thoroughly impressed when Donghyuck was able to assemble and hook up a sound mixing board in no time at all. He thought it best just to let the older boy believe that it was beginner’s luck, since there was no way he could explain the skill otherwise, but Dejun didn't question it and the approving smile that he received in return was worth the small deception.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The seats had slowly started to fill up as they worked, with the three performing arts teachers who made up the judging panel having taken their seats in the front row. Donghyuck suspected that many of the students that had turned out to watch were simply using the auditions as an excuse to get out of their afternoon classes, but Dejun was thrilled by the crowd and that was all that mattered. Renjun and Jaemin had joined Chenle in the third row, Donghyuck’s empty seat sandwiched between them, and Jisung perched on the edge of a chair on Chenle’s other side, swinging his legs as he stared off into space.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Glancing down at his phone as he took his seat, Donghyuck recalled the rough schedule that he and Dejun had drawn up and emailed out to all of their fellow auditionees earlier in the week. The times on it were a guide, but it allowed students to plan when to come and go from classes more easily. The singers would be up first in a block, followed by the dancers, and Donghyuck remembered that he and Dejun had been back to back about halfway down the order. Chenle was right at the end, so he didn't need to stay for the whole thing, but he’d insisted that he wanted to be there for Donghyuck anyway.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dejun climbed the small set of steps at the front of the stage just as the clock struck the hour, kicking things off at the exact time dictated by the email, and proceeded to explain the process to the spectating students. Each auditionee would have up to three minutes to sing, act or dance for the judges. Dejun would join the judges for the acting and singing sections, except for his own audition slot, and Soonyoung would join them for the dancing section later. The dancers from the showcase who had signed up were excused, having already performed earlier in the week, but there were a handful of other students who wanted to audition from outside the dance society. All in all, Donghyuck didn't expect it would take that long. They’d probably all be back in class before the end of the school day.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let’s start with Jisoo-ssi.” He tuned back into what Dejun was saying just as the boy hopped neatly off the front of the stage, nodding respectfully to a pretty senior girl that Donghyuck vaguely recognised as she stood up and made her way forward. Her hands shook a little as she climbed the steps to the stage, and then again as she introduced herself to the room, but her voice was steady and calm as she sang a traditional Korean lullaby. The room erupted into applause as she finished, with the four judges taking a moment to discuss their thoughts as a group before the next student was called to the stage.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck had long since lost track of the names and faces by the time Dejun announced that he would be going next. The older boy took the steps two at a time, taking a few moments to move the microphone stand across the stage towards the keyboard, and then he settled himself on the bench behind it. “Most of you know me at this point, I think,” he said with a laugh, “but my name is Xiao Dejun and I’m a senior.” Someone at the back of the room whooped in support, which made him flush with mild embarrassment, but he continued. “I’m going to be performing something that I wrote myself.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck’s eyebrows rose at that and he stared at Dejun in surprise, as the boy launched into a brief explanation of what the song—written entirely in Cantonese—was about. That was a brave move, he thought, as Dejun started to play the opening chords. There were a lot of ways that this could go badly wrong but, as he began to sing, it became clear that the older boy was not fazed by the additional level of challenge one bit. He had an excellent voice too, that much was immediately obvious and didn't surprise Donghyuck at all, but it was the confidence that oozed from every pore that really captured the attention of everyone in the audience.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ll be fine,” Renjun hissed in his ear, low enough that no one else would overhear. Donghyuck blinked, dragging his attention away from Dejun’s performance to glance down at his friend. Renjun was watching him intently and, when he saw the confused look on Donghyuck’s face, he raised their entwined fingers to show him. Only then did Donghyuck realise that he was gripping Renjun’s hand like a vice, causing veins and tendons to strain against the skin along his arm.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry,” he muttered lowly, forcing his fingers open and dropping Renjun’s hand. The older boy flexed his fingers a few times, both of them watching as the blood rushed to his paled fingertips, but Renjun smiled and shrugged off the apology.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry so much,” he told Donghyuck, who hadn’t realised just how tense he was until that moment. “You’ll be fine. This is literally what you do for a living, remember.” He squeezed Donghyuck’s hand again gently, this time making sure that his fingers were on the outside of the arrangement, and Donghyuck forced himself to take a deep breath. He wasn't sure why he was so nervous, as Renjun was right about him being very used to performing at this point, but he couldn't deny the way that his stomach seemed to be doing frantic somersaults inside his body.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The crowd burst into thunderous applause once again and Donghyuck looked up to see that Dejun had risen from the piano stool to take a small bow. He made eye contact with Donghyuck as he straightened up, head tilting slightly to indicate that he should make his way to the stage. “Thank you. Next up, it’s our very own Lee Donghyuck.” Donghyuck stood, the others in his row following suit to allow him to make his way out into the aisle. Again, Dejun initiated eye contact with him as he walked, and Donghyuck’s heart plummeted into his gut as the boy continued to speak.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This super talented dongsaeng is our drama society VP, but we’ve never heard him sing before,” Dejun told the crowd, “so I’m sure I’m not the only one who is very curious to see what Hyuck has prepared for us today. Let’s give him a big hand, everyone.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck knew it was meant as an encouragement, as the audience clapped politely and he passed Dejun on the stairs. The older boy clapped a hand on his shoulder and winked at him, before rejoining the teachers in the front row, but all Donghyuck could focus on was how much he really wished Dejun hadn’t said anything at all. Haechan, idol singer and performing veteran, didn't get particularly nervous anymore, and certainly not for something like this. Lee Donghyuck, on the other hand, was about ready to run for the hills. The extra pressure that had been added, thanks to Dejun’s introduction, was anything but helpful.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>You’ll be fine.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” As he turned to face the room, Donghyuck caught sight of Renjun in the third row, mouthing words of encouragement under his breath. Jaemin was smiling, giving him a double thumbs-up, and Chenle had a look of admiration on his face that Donghyuck didn't think he’d come close to earning yet. They all believed in him. They were all there to support him. He could do this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He took a deep breath, centering himself, and stepped up to the mic that Dejun had returned to the centre of the stage. “My name is Lee Donghyuck.” He didn't need to explain the role he was auditioning for, the part of misunderstood convict Jean Valjean—he and Dejun had discussed it at length, after they’d discovered that they both wanted the same role—but repeating his name helped to focus his racing mind on the task at hand. If he wanted that role, he’d have to perform better in the audition than Dejun, pure and simple. It was a tough ask—the older boy was very talented—but Donghyuck had practised for this. He was ready, even if his nerves were currently threatening to let him down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What song are you performing for us today, Hyuck?” Dejun asked, twirling a pen absently between his long fingers. The audience was quiet, waiting for an answer, even as the boy manning the sound desk gave Donghyuck a quick nod to let him know that his backing track was ready to play.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be singing Purpose, by Justin Bieber,” Donghyuck said softly, focusing all his attention on a spot on the far wall. He cleared his throat. “It’s a song that means a lot to a friend of mine, and it means a lot to me, so I hope you like it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was so much he left unspoken in that sentence, so much he couldn't explain, like how the only reason he’d even learnt this particular song in the first place was that Mark Lee had played the guitar chords over and over every day for months in the dorms, nearly driving him insane. He’d grown so tired of hearing the hummed melody but not knowing the lyrics, so he’d looked them up and learned the English words line by line until he could sing along with Mark on guitar. Then he’d performed it on stage at the Dream Show a year later, just because he knew it would make the boy smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s an English song.” Mr Kim sounded surprised, but Donghyuck wasn't sure why.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes. Yes, it is.” He expected the teacher to question him further, but the man just nodded and waved a hand for Donghyuck to begin. A glance at the sound desk had the first notes of the introduction filtering in through the speakers set up around him, and then Donghyuck closed his eyes as his fingers closed around the microphone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It had been relatively easy, in the practice room with Chenle, to detach himself from all of the emotions and memories that had become irrevocably linked to this song over the years. However, as he opened his mouth to utter the first words, Donghyuck was suddenly struck by the contrasting, yet eerily similar circumstances of the very last time he’d performed it. It had been on a much larger stage, to a much larger crowd and with a much higher production budget, but he had still been singing it for just one person back then too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mark wasn't here to hear it this time, and that fact still tore at Donghyuck every time he let himself dwell on it, but, strangely, the lyrics felt like a lifeline. They tethered the two of them together across space and time, even if they were separated at the moment. Mark Lee might never feel the same way about Donghyuck as Donghyuck did about him—might never come to realise just how achingly poignant the lyrics were concerning the relationship between the two of them—but he was out there somewhere. Maybe not in this reality, but Donghyuck would find his way back to him, no matter what, and, when he did, he would tell Mark how he really felt.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck was so lost in the emotion of the song that he almost didn't notice as his voice cracked and broke as he transitioned up to one of the high notes. For a moment, he froze, panic and embarrassment washing over him as his eyes flew open and he surveyed the students watching him in hushed silence, but he recovered and forced himself back into the moment. It wasn't quite the same after that, the blissful detachment from his surroundings not returning and the loss of it making him feel cold, but he didn't make any more mistakes as he wrapped up the song cleanly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As the last note of the instrumental died, there were a few agonising seconds of silence, before a wall of cheers and applause ricocheted through him like a thunderclap. Absently, he noted that it seemed louder than it had been for previous students, but he knew that wasn't likely. He’d made a huge mistake in the middle of his performance, in the most important section of the song. There was no way that he was going to get the role he wanted now, which he knew would hurt like hell when the results were released, but he’d try to be happy for Dejun. He just hoped that the rest of the song had been good enough to net him one of the smaller roles.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He took a quick bow, not wanting to linger any longer in the spotlight. The applause didn't appear to be dying down, and Dejun had the oddest expression on his face as Donghyuck descended the steps from the stage, but he didn't let himself look for too long. He hurried back to his row and sank down next to Jaemin on the end, not bothering to try to get past his friends to get back to his seat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That was…” Jaemin breathed, wide-eyed as he stared at Donghyuck. The older boy glanced away, not wanting to face his friend at that particular moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I messed up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You what?” Jaemin sounded confused. “Wait, you mean the tiny voice crack near the end?” Donghyuck didn't speak, so Jaemin took his silence as confirmation. “It was barely noticeable, Hyuck-ah. Besides, that’s what guys’ voices </span>
  <em>
    <span>do</span>
  </em>
  <span> at our age. I’m sure no one will even remember it. The rest was amazing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks.” Donghyuck wasn't in the mood to argue semantics with Jaemin. He knew that the boy probably wasn't wrong about the majority of the room. He’d felt really good about the song up until that point, even if he couldn't really remember much of it, so many of the students in the audience would probably remember the good parts. However, the important people, the four judges at the front who would decide if he had enough talent to take part in the school musical, wouldn't be so quick to forget his mistake. It would have likely have cost him a larger role—certainly, the role he wanted would be Dejun’s—and it was galling after all the work he’d put in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d be lying if he said he didn't sulk and feel sorry for himself for a while after that, despite his friends’ whispered attempts to cheer him up, but then it was Chenle’s turn and Donghyuck forced himself to pay attention and cheer on the younger boy. He offered Chenle what he hoped was an encouraging smile as he passed—even if it didn't quite reach his eyes—and, when he glanced over, he saw Jisung practically climbing over the chair in front of him as he focused on his friend.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chenle introduced himself and his song, just like they’d practised the previous evening. His voice was a little shaky and the words were pitched a little higher than usual, but Donghyuck couldn't help the pride that leapt in his chest. Chenle glanced over at the sound desk, shaking his head almost imperceptibly, then moved the microphone across the stage so that he could sit at the piano as Dejun had. They hadn't been sure if he would play while he sang, so they’d prepared a backing track just in case, but Donghyuck was happy to see that he’d decided not to use it. Chenle was far too talented a pianist to need the track.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is there a particular character that you think might suit you?” Mr Choi asked Chenle, as he adjusted the microphone to the right height. Chenle paused for a moment, glancing down at Donghyuck, who nodded encouragingly. They’d discussed this again that week too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe Gavroche,” Chenle told him, and the teacher nodded approvingly. “I’ve not been in a musical before, but I think I could do a good job with that character.” His voice didn't shake much this time, and Donghyuck did a tiny victory dance in his seat. The teachers all nodded, and then Chenle began his audition. He fumbled over a note early in the first line, paling as he scrambled to recover, but then he sought out Jisung’s face in the audience. Neither of them seemed to blink for the next few minutes as he sang, Jisung frozen in place as if he was afraid to move, and Chenle didn't glance down at the keyboard once, eyes locked on his friend.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After the shaky start, Donghyuck thought that Chenle did a great job, his warm, high tone and natural vibrato winning over the room quickly. He could tell that Chenle was nervous, having come to recognise the boy’s tells after working closely together for a few weeks—and for years before that—but Donghyuck didn't think anyone else in the room would be able to tell unless they were looking hard. When it was over, there was hearty applause and their row cheered louder than anyone else. He didn't think he’d ever seen Jisung’s expression so animated and, when Chenle returned to his seat, Jisung threw an arm around him quickly before whispering something into his ear that made Chenle grin madly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dejun announced that there would be a brief pause then, to shift things around on the stage to prepare for the dancers to perform. Donghyuck congratulated Chenle, pulling him into a hug even as he felt the disappointment over his own performance swell up all over again. He knew that he and Chenle were alike, in that they had both made mistakes, but he couldn't help but beat himself up about his own. He knew, realistically, that he couldn't blame it all on himself, not given the circumstances, but he couldn't help but hold himself to the astronomically high standard that was expected of him as an idol. He could have done better. He should have done better. He would do better.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to go back to class,” he told Jaemin quietly, and the boy turned to regard him with worry in his gaze. Renjun’s head popped out from around Jaemin’s shoulder and he echoed that concern, frowning as his eyes scanned Donghyuck’s face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You okay?” Renjun asked. “Is this about your audition. You need to—"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s nothing.” He interrupted Renjun. “I’m just not feeling well.” That wasn't entirely a lie, but he felt guilty for misleading them regardless. “I’ll be fine.” He didn't give them a chance to argue, pushing up out of his seat and hurrying out of the auditorium. Five minutes later, he was sliding into his usual seat in his history class, ignoring the odd looks of the students around him as they likely wondered why he wasn't in the audition he’d just left.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He tried to engage with the lesson, even searching up the page in the textbook and following along with his finger, but it was a losing battle. He kept up the facade until the end of class, even after Renjun and Jaemin returned a half-hour later, and then he allowed Renjun to persuade him to visit their new favourite cafe in town for ice cream. They even invited Chenle and Jisung, although the latter still refused to say a word directly to anyone who wasn't Jaemin or Chenle, and Donghyuck had to admit that, after they were done eating, he felt better.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was probably some truth to the idea that ice cream always helped to cheer people up and, as he polished off his second sundae, he had to admit that his friends had helped him regain some perspective. He was disappointed and self-critical still; that hadn't changed, but he could admit that it wasn't quite the end of the world. As Renjun had reminded him with a subtle pat of his blazer pocket—to the utter confusion of the two clueless freshmen at the table—there were far more important things to focus on. Renjun was right. The fact that the five of them were all there together that afternoon was so much more important than a role in the school musical.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>There's an important moral lesson to be learnt here. Hyuck just hasn't figured it out yet. Let's just hope that doesn't come back to bite him in the ass later. I'm sure it won't... ;)</p><p>For those of you who haven't seen it, Hyuck's Dream Show performance is a thing you should go watch. Like, now:</p><p> </p><p>  <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xA4FB2MIGcA">Purpose - Haechan</a></p><p> </p><p>(Side note: I don't know exactly what the deal is with this song because I'm not actually inside their heads, but we know from that one vlive that it's a thing. In this fic, it's a particularly meaningful thing. Call it creative license, if you wish.)</p><p>As always, have a wonderful day! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Chapter 26</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The SS NoRenMin is about to set sail. How long it will last before it starts to sink is anyone's guess...</p><p>Enjoy! :)</p><p>(Side note: If you're not familiar with the musical Les Miserables, which I originally chose mainly because I've been in it and, therefore, know it well enough to reference, don't worry too much about the specific names of the characters on the cast list. It shouldn't hinder your understanding any, not to know them by name.)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Have you looked at it yet?” Renjun hopped up onto Donghyuck’s desk first thing on Wednesday morning, curiosity burning in his eyes despite the sleepy expression on his face. He promptly yawned, not bothering to cover his mouth with his hand, but still managed to maintain steady eye contact with Donghyuck, who shrugged.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not yet.” The cast list had gone up on the main school noticeboard overnight, the Performing Arts teachers having made their final decisions in a meeting after school the day before. Donghyuck had seen the small crowd of students gathered in front of it as he’d walked in from the parking lot, but he’d made sure to give them all a wide berth and had taken the back staircase to avoid running into anyone he knew.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why not?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because I already know the result,” Donghyuck said quickly. Then he sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face wearily. “Dejun sent out the emails last night, inviting all of the cast and crew to the social tonight.” Renjun nodded, having also been included on the guest list by default, by virtue of his willingness to help with stage management. “I know I’m in because I got the email, but I know I don’t have the role I wanted. Dejun was so much better than me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How do you know you didn't get it?” Renjun asked, an inscrutable look on his face as his lips pressed into a thin line. “I know that you think you know, but how can you be sure?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What aren’t you telling me, Injunie?” Donghyuck asked, brows knitting together as a tiny, unwelcome bubble of hope started to swell inside his chest. He knew that allowing it to gain purchase was a bad idea, but he also knew that Renjun wasn't the type to torture him with false hope where there was none. “Did you look?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course I did,” came the reply, Renjun’s tone indicating that he thought Donghyuck was ridiculous for even asking. “But you haven’t.” Donghyuck glanced down at his phone, which sat on the desk next to Renjun’s thigh, and tapped the screen to illuminate the time. He still had ten minutes before homeroom began, and most of the students—including the perpetually almost-late Na Jaemin—hadn't even arrived yet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m just going to go and, uh—” He didn't even bother to finish his sentence, as Renjun rolled his eyes and leant back against the wall next to Donghyuck’s desk. He was halfway to the door by the time he heard the boy’s reply, and then he was hurrying down the hallway towards the lobby, that little speck of hope growing with each stride.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s about damn time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Once he made it down the stairs and into the large entryway, Donghyuck quickly found himself nearing the large notice board that filled most of the wall space to the left of the main double doors. A few people were milling around but none of them seemed especially interested in either him or the board, so he skirted around them and made a beeline for the new addition to the already cluttered surface.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The paper was bright white, clean in the way that only a freshly posted notice ever could be, and it contained a neatly typed list of names, alongside their respective characters. His eyes swept up from the bottom as a matter of habit, pausing briefly as he spotted Chenle’s name. Next to it, the boxy font announced that Chenle had been given the role of Gavroche, as well as understudy for Jean Valjean. Surprised but incredibly pleased for his friend, a small smile started to spread across his face, even as his nerves grew and his gaze continued to glide up the page. Chenle had worked hard and the part was well deserved, not to mention that the understudy position would give him the chance to learn a lot from Dejun. It would be a great help later on too, if Chenle wanted to take on a larger role in future productions.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Donghyuck neared the top of the list but had yet to see his name, he started to worry that Renjun had been mistaken—or worse, had cruelly gotten his hopes up for some other, less pleasant reason—but there were still the principal roles left to go.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cosette went to Yang Hyojin, reminding him that he hadn't spoken to the overly-clingy 11th-grade girl in a while. He thought he should probably feel bad about that, but it was a tough ask to stir up the necessary guilt. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fantine went to Kim Jisoo, the senior girl who’d auditioned first, which wasn't a surprise given the quality of her performance. The fact that hers was one of the ones that Donghyuck actually remembered meant that he was sure she would do a good job.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Javert went to Xiao Dejun… Donghyuck was sure that his heart skipped a beat as he read the words through a second time, and then a third. He even blinked a few times, just to be sure, before he was convinced that he wasn't reading it wrong. Xiao Dejun would be playing Javert, the second male lead, which meant…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Hyuck-ah.” Donghyuck jumped at the sound of Dejun’s voice, so close behind him. Spinning on his heel, he came face to face with the senior boy, who leant casually against the wall a few paces away, watching Donghyuck with keen interest. “Congratulations.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The word registered in Donghyuck’s head agonisingly slowly and he turned back to the board, seeking out the top line of the cast list and reading it carefully. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Jean Valjean will be played by Lee Donghyuck.</span>
  </em>
  <span> It was there in black and white, and he’d heard the felicitation from Dejun’s own lips, but it just didn't make sense. There was no way that he had beaten out Dejun, whose audition had been nothing but flawless, to the role they had both fought for.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t understand,” he said finally, turning back to look at Dejun. The older boy hadn't moved, as he seemed to be patiently giving Donghyuck time to process. “You wanted that role so badly, and your audition was flawless. Why?” There wasn't a single doubt in Donghyuck’s mind that, if Dejun wanted it, the role would be his. Which begged the question: why was Donghyuck’s name up there instead?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re being way too hard on yourself, Donghyuck,” Dejun told him evenly. He pushed up off the wall, walking over to stand beside the younger boy as they both examined the cast list. “The teachers were talking about that song you sang for hours after the auditions ended. I even got an email from Mr Choi at midnight on Saturday, asking for a YouTube link to the original.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck smirked at that mental image, unable to stop his lips from moving, but he was still confused and determined to get to the bottom of things. “I made a mistake though.” Dejun nodded but didn't speak. “You didn't.” Another nod. “You outperformed me, so the role should be yours.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Again, you need to give yourself more credit,” Dejun insisted, elbowing Donghyuck’s arm lightly. “I might technically be more proficient, but the emotion in your voice during your performance was insane. You heard the applause afterwards.” Donghyuck had, but the memory had largely been tainted by disappointment and regret at this point. “Performing is almost entirely to do with emotion, not perfection. You’re going to do an amazing job as Valjean, trust me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But you wanted it,” was all Donghyuck could say, even though he could see the truth of Dejun’s words reflected in the boy’s expressive gaze. “You told me how much you wanted it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So did you.” The boy smiled kindly at Donghyuck, placing a hand on his shoulder. “I did want it, that’s true, but sometimes it’s worth giving up what I want to make someone else happy. I knew that this was really important to you too, Hyuck, so I wanted you to have it.” Again, there was no hint of any untruth on his face, and Dejun’s words seemed to resonate somewhere deep inside Donghyuck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I—I don't know what to say.” Donghyuck had some idea of what it was to be selfless; of course he did. He saw it every day back home, whenever one of his hyungs went out of their way to do something nice for him when he felt sick, or when one of the Dreamies sought him out for a hug just because they knew he was having a tough day and that it would cheer him up. He even thought he’d been on the other end of it occasionally, ordering takeout for his members when they were busy with a full day of schedules, or picking up extra chores whenever Taeyong or Doyoung asked for help, but he’d never really considered the true motivation behind those acts before.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you happy, Hyuck-ah?” Dejun said, pulling Donghyuck’s attention back to him. The older boy wore a neutral expression, but Donghyuck could see the slight undercurrent of worry and need that lingered just beneath the surface. Dejun had done this for him, without any consideration for his own feelings, but those feelings were all still there. He needed to know that he’d done the right thing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m a little overwhelmed, to be honest.” Selflessness meant sacrificing your own happiness for others. Selflessness meant doing something without any thought of reward, just because it would mean something to someone else. Selflessness was—something Donghyuck had severely neglected to act upon lately, falling back on selfishness and his own wants and desires instead.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d wanted so badly to beat Xiao Dejun in these auditions, to show the world that he was talented enough in any reality to be the best, and he’d made it all about himself. Just like he’d done so often back home, he realised, because he genuinely believed that those around him owed him respect and admiration for his abilities and talent. In return, the boy in front of him had given him everything he wanted, just because he knew how important it was to him. The contrast between them, Donghyuck thought, was pretty damning.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dejun’s face fell slightly as the younger boy stayed silent, his gaze dropping to the floor at their feet, and Donghyuck’s heart clenched painfully. “Thank you, hyung,” he said in a rush. Dejun reluctantly looked up at him again, eyes guarded. “It’s selfish that I feel this way, I know, but yes. I’m happy.” He flushed, but Dejun’s small smile had started to return. “I’m happy,” he repeated.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then that’s all that matters, Hyuck.” The bell for the start of class rang then and Dejun jumped, as though surprised at the time. “I have to go.” He started to walk backwards down the hall away from Donghyuck, who hadn't moved. “I’ll see you at the social tonight, okay?” He didn't give Donghyuck a chance to answer, not that the younger boy thought he’d have been able to anyway, disappearing down a side corridor and leaving Donghyuck staring at the empty spot where the senior had been.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It felt like half the school was here, even though Donghyuck knew that there were fifty people at most, and students seemed to occupy every inch of the drama studio. The room regularly held many more people than this, Donghyuck knew, but the cacophony of voices all straining to be heard over one another was deafening, and the way the sound echoed and reverberated off the walls made the space seem a lot smaller and a lot more full than usual.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was sitting with Jaemin, neglecting to make small talk and add to the noise, as the younger boy tried to pretend he wasn't watching Renjun from across the room. Renjun was talking to Kunhang next to the drinks table, the small collection of soda cans he’d been tasked with retrieving temporarily forgotten as Kunhang leaned his head back and laughed at whatever Renjun was saying. Renjun beamed in response and, beside him, Donghyuck heard Jaemin sigh loudly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You need to tell him how you feel,” he muttered, grinning as Jaemin went tense and then side-eyed him with a scowl.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not that easy,” the younger boy told him, pillowing his chin on his hands as he rested his elbows on his knees. His gaze flicked back to Renjun, who was laughing now too, and he sighed gustily again. “He thinks I’m annoying. He only talks to me because I’m on that list too.” Donghyuck rolled his eyes, thinking back to the last time they’d had this exact conversation, less than a week ago. His answer hadn't changed since then, but he repeated it anyway.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaemin-ah, he doesn't think you’re annoying.” Jaemin huffed disbelievingly, but Donghyuck pressed on regardless. “He wouldn’t spend time with you when I’m not around if he did.” He turned to look down at the hapless boy, who was close to folding himself in half with the way he was leaning forward over the edge of the table that they sat on.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We only ever seem to argue,” Jaemin said sadly. He wasn't entirely wrong about that, but Donghyuck didn't think it was for the reasons that Jaemin had in mind. The pair bickered constantly in the reality he’d left behind too, often with Donghyuck or Jeno along for the ride as well, but it was always out of love. He wasn't sure what their dynamic here would be like without it, but it certainly wasn't because Renjun didn't care.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It takes two to argue,” he told Jaemin, leaning over to nudge the boy with his shoulder. When he glanced back over to Renjun, he saw that the boy was now alone and was heading back over with their drinks. “Try to make conversation without antagonising him some time, and see how it goes.” He paused, grinning mischievously over at Jaemin one more time before Renjun was back in earshot. “Either that or just tell him the truth.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shut up,” Jaemin muttered, with just the barest hint of irritation, as Renjun sat down on Donghyuck’s other side and passed a can across to Jaemin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What were you two talking about?” Renjun asked, handing an identical can to Donghyuck before he popped the seal on his own drink.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dance,” Donghyuck said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Music,” Jaemin offered in the exact same moment. Renjun shot both of them a suspicious look, clearly less than convinced by their discordant answers, but he didn't question it. Instead, he pointed at Hendery across the room, who now stood talking with Dejun and Soonyoung in the far corner.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kunhang-ge was just telling me how impressed Dejun-ge was with your audition,” Renjun told Donghyuck, who nodded. He wasn't completely ready to accept it yet, but the senior had said the same thing to him that morning.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dejun told me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He also said that a little birdie told them how much work you had been putting in, and how much you’d helped Chenle.” Donghyuck frowned at that, glancing curiously at Renjun. That part he hadn't heard.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How did they know?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No idea.” Renjun shrugged. “Someone must have seen the two of you and told them.” He looked like he wanted to say something more but, as he opened his mouth, someone hopped up onto the table next to Renjun, jostling it enough that Renjun had to grab his drink to stop it from tipping over. “Hey, be careful,” he said sharply, before his breath caught in his throat as he came face to face with Lee Jeno.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry,” Jeno said quickly, waving a hand in front of himself apologetically. “I didn't mean to interrupt. I didn't realise the table was that unstable.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I—” Renjun opened and closed his mouth a few times, channelling his inner anglerfish, but no coherent sounds escaped him. Donghyuck felt a hand clamp down onto his knee—hard enough to leave a bruise—Renjun seeking him out blindly as his eyes stayed locked on Jeno’s face, and he immediately recognised the not so subtle cry for help.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine.” He leant forward, poking his head out from behind Renjun. “No harm done.” Jeno’s gaze shifted to Donghyuck for a fleeting moment and he nodded politely, before he turned his attention back to Renjun, who was turning a delicate shade of fuschia.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s Hwang Renjun, right?” Jeno asked. Thankfully this time, Renjun was able to answer with just a nod, and Jeno’s whole face smiled in response, eyes crinkling adorably at the corners. “I’m Lee Jeno.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For a few moments, it seemed like Renjun wasn't going to answer, but then he nodded. “I know.” Jeno’s mouth fell open in surprise, and Renjun cleared his throat nervously. “I mean, everyone knows you. Your name is on your shirt.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It is?” Jeno actually glanced down at his own chest, at the plain white school shirt he wore underneath his blazer, which looked at least one size too small for him now that Donghyuck was paying close attention. Donghyuck pressed his knuckles to his lips to avoid laughing as the boy looked back up at Renjun, confusion etched across his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not now, obviously,” Renjun stammered, a tiny smirk curling up the very corner of his lips despite his obvious discomfort. “On the soccer pitch.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” Understanding dawned on Jeno’s face and he nodded, rubbing a hand self-consciously across the back of his neck as his cheeks flushed a little. “I guess.” He thought for a moment, then his eyes lit up. “I think I’ve seen you in the stands a few times. Do you come to games often?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I guess. Sometimes.” Donghyuck choked out a breathy, soundless laugh as he fought to try and keep a straight face. He didn't need insider knowledge to tell that both boys were blatantly lying to each other, but neither of them seemed to be any the wiser. Renjun hadn’t missed more than a single game since the start of freshman year, and Jeno hadn't exactly been subtle about his interest in Renjun during the last game they’d all gone to. It would have almost been cute, if he wasn't convinced—from the tense set of Renjun’s shoulders and the fingers still clamped around his kneecap—that his friend was about to run away at any second.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaemin, let’s go and talk to Jisung and Chenle over there for a bit,” Donghyuck said loudly, pushing up off the table and pulling Jaemin up next to him by his elbow. The other boy tried to protest, especially when he saw the boy sat beside Renjun, but Donghyuck gave him a gentle shove in the direction of the two freshmen, who sat side by side on the floor on the opposite side of the studio.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyuck?” Renjun stood, ready to follow his friends. Jeno looked immediately crestfallen, a hand half outstretched towards Renjun’s back as though he could stop the boy leaving with a single touch, and Donghyuck shook his head firmly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t get up, Injunie. Jaemin and I are just going to go and mingle.” He sent his friend a meaningful look, gaze flicking quickly from Renjun to Jeno and back. “Don’t let us disturb you. You two should talk, and get to know each other.” Renjun flushed again, eyes silently pleading with Donghyuck not to leave him alone with Jeno, but Donghyuck just raised an eyebrow in challenge. He knew that Renjun understood when the older boy sighed and sank back down into his seat, right next to the boy he’d been pining over for months.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is everything okay?” Jeno asked, twisting his body so that his knees faced in towards Renjun. Renjun mimicked his position, effectively cocooning the pair in an intimate bubble of personal space, and shook his head. There was a soft grunt of indignation from behind Donghyuck and Jaemin hissed low in his throat, but Donghyuck placed a hand on his friend’s chest before he could say anything. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come on.” Grabbing a handful of Jaemin’s shirt, he practically dragged the boy across the room to where Chenle and Jisung sat, relieved when he didn't have to force Jaemin to take a seat. Jaemin did that part himself, crossing his legs under him as he positioned himself so that he had an unimpeded view of Renjun and Jeno. The two seemed to have done more staring at one another than actual talking so far, but Jaemin let out a tiny, pitiful groan every time either of their lips moved.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyung?” Jisung tapped Jaemin on the shoulder after a few minutes. Jaemin started a little, but dragged his gaze from Renjun and Jeno long enough to look at him. Jisung just stared at him for a long moment, eyes tracing Jaemin’s face slowly, and then he delivered his brutal diagnosis. “It’s rude to stare.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I—” Jaemin’s eyes widened, as though he couldn't quite believe that Jisung was calling him out like this, but then he nodded and hung his head. “I know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why </span>
  <em>
    <span>are</span>
  </em>
  <span> you staring?” Jisung sounded genuinely confused, but Chenle fixed Donghyuck with a knowing look. One of the maknaes understood the intricacies of human emotions, at least.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because love can be cruel, Jisungie,” Chenle told his friend. Jisung’s expression went carefully blank for a moment and then realisation dawned all at once.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Although he knew it wasn't his place to snoop, Donghyuck couldn’t help but let his attention drift back to Renjun. The other three boys did the same around him, all of them studying the pair in their own way as they talked. Donghyuck watched the side of Renjun’s face, the part that wasn't in shadow from the angle of his body as he faced Jeno, but he didn't need to see the whole of it to know that Renjun was smiling in a way that he never smiled at Donghyuck. It was the kind of smile that was reserved for an entirely different kind of affection, one he often saw on Jaemin’s face when he thought Renjun wasn't looking.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I thought </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> liked Renjun-ssi, hyung,” Jisung said eventually, bursting the silence that had descended on their small group like he’d taken a pin to a balloon. Jaemin started to choke on his own saliva and Donghyuck slapped a hand down on his back for no other reason than he’d seen someone do it in a medical drama once. It didn't really help, and Jaemin coughed thickly several times before regaining his composure.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What makes you say that?” he asked, after he finished wiping a stray tear from the corner of his eye. Jisung just blinked at him, then shrugged.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have eyes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When no one spoke for a long time after that profound pronouncement, Donghyuck was starting to think that might be the end of it. He racked his brain for a safe topic of conversation, one that would allow them to shift the focus away from Renjun for a while, giving their friend time to talk to his crush in peace.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you like him, why don't you just tell him?” Chenle asked. Jaemin met his gaze and shrugged, the same way he did any time Donghyuck asked him that same question.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve been asking him that for weeks,” Donghyuck offered, smiling conspiratorially at Chenle. The younger boy laughed loudly, then sobered quickly and glanced over at Jaemin once more.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine,” Jaemin insisted, letting Chenle know he wasn't upset. Then he straightened his back and fixed Donghyuck with a thoughtful look. “Maybe you’re both right though, Hyuck-ah. Maybe I should go over there, right now, and tell him.” A fraction of a second too late, Donghyuck spotted the glint of determination and chaotic resolve in Jaemin’s eyes, a glint that definitely hadn't been there just moments before.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don't think that’s a good—” He pushed up to his knees, reaching for the sleeve of Jaemin’s blazer, but his fingers closed around nothing but air as Jaemin moved a little too fast. The boy was across the room in the next heartbeat, and Donghyuck could only watch on in disbelief as he claimed the vacated space next to Renjun and slung a possessive arm around the boy’s shoulders. Renjun stiffened and Jeno’s eyes widened in surprise. This was not going to go well, Donghyuck thought acutely, as Jaemin bared his teeth in a slightly feral grin and extended his free hand for Jeno to shake.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>There's not really much left to say after that super unhelpful cliffhanger (sorry). In the next chapter, we will be back inside Renjun's head, at least for part of it, because it's about to be straight carnage up in there. These three mean well, bless their hearts, but they are really not good at this.</p><p>If you have any thoughts, constructive or otherwise, I'd love to hear them. I'm really trying to do better at responding to comments regularly, so feel free to just say hi. Maybe let me know your NCT bias/biases, if you so wish. I'd love to hear them. :)</p><p>As always, have a wonderful day! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. Chapter 27</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Greetings, one and all. May I present to you Renjun's thoughts on life, love and Lee Jeno, followed by the aftermath of Jaemin's really, really dumb idea. I'm not going to lie, this one gets a little real at the end, but it will all be worth it. I promise.</p><p>Prepare your feels...</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“What’s wrong?”</p><p> </p><p>Renjun almost didn't catch Jeno’s question, voice thick with concern, as he watched Donghyuck haul Jaemin away by his shirt from over his shoulder. Warm fingers, barely grazing the sensitive skin of the back of his hand, made him jump almost out of his skin, and he turned to see Jeno leaning in so close that he could make out the individual eyelashes that framed eyes which radiated concern.</p><p> </p><p>“What?” He hadn't been listening, which was unthinkable considering exactly who was sitting beside him, so he made an effort to focus as Jeno spoke again. He could ponder the unfathomable strangeness that was his friends later, if he survived his current encounter with the one and only Lee Jeno without spontaneously combusting.</p><p> </p><p>“I asked if everything was okay and you shook your head.” He did? He hadn't intended to, but, if he was honest, everything wasn't okay. Jeno was here in the drama studio, Jeno was entirely too close to him, and Renjun could feel the skin of his arms and face flaming at the proximity. He was sure that he looked an absolute picture, and the attractive soccer player watching him intently was probably regretting his seating choice right about now, but Jeno didn't need to know about any of that.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh.” Well, that was eloquent, Renjun thought to himself. Searching the farthest recesses of his brain, he tried to dredge up something coherent to add. “It’s fine.” Jeno hesitated for a fraction of a second, his gaze searching Renjun’s face almost intrusively, and then the boy smiled and the moment passed as quickly as it had begun.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s good,” Jeno said quickly, a wide, toothy grin still plastered across his face. “I didn't mean to interrupt you and your friends.” He’d said something similar a few minutes earlier too, right before Donghyuck had abandoned Renjun to his conversational doom, and the older boy didn't like the idea that Jeno could think that. Renjun might not have any idea how to act normally around the boy he had been in love with since middle school, and, internally, he might be dying just a little because Jeno actually knew his name, but the last thing he wanted was to make that sad look come back into Jeno’s eyes. He never wanted to be the cause of that again, and he was pretty sure, right now, he’d be willing to fight anyone who was.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s no problem.” He resisted the urge to glance back towards his friends again, forcing himself to stay focused on Jeno. It wasn't all that hard, since the boy seemed to radiate charisma from his every pore. Renjun had often wondered what it would be like to have that kind of intensity focused solely on him and now he had his answer. It felt like he was going to implode from all the nervous energy, and he hadn't decided yet whether he liked it or not.</p><p> </p><p>“So,” Jeno began, tilting his head to the side, tracing the outline of the top of his ear with his fingers slowly.</p><p> </p><p>“So,” Renjun repeated, when Jeno didn't finish the sentence. For a few seconds, neither of them spoke, watching each other with thinly-veiled curiosity. For Renjun, it afforded him the chance to study the handsome features and facets of a face that he’d not seen up close since they began high school and Jeno started to become a hot commodity among their fellow students. He knew that Jeno had never publicly expressed interest in any one of them, so Renjun’s interest in the younger boy would certainly never be reciprocated, but that didn't make his feelings any easier to ignore when Jeno smiled at him like that.</p><p> </p><p>For Jeno’s part, he seemed to be studying every single micro-expression that Renjun made, judging from the way that his expressive brows shifted and his eyes danced every time Renjun so much as blinked. He didn't know what Jeno could possibly find so interesting on his face, but fascinated would be a good way to describe the younger boy’s demeanour. It was equal parts flattering and baffling, which didn't serve to calm Renjun’s nerves at all.</p><p> </p><p>“I was surprised to see you here today,” Renjun offered, after it became clear that he would have to be the one to break the silence. Jeno seemed far too content just to stare at him, and it was making Renjun a little uncomfortable, given the constant scrutiny. “I thought you had soccer practice on a Wednesday afternoon.”</p><p> </p><p>He <em> knew </em> that Jeno had practice on a Wednesday, in truth, although he’d never admit that to Jeno. He wasn't quite as bad as some of the girls in his classes, who stalked the players after school, following them to practices and waited outside the locker rooms, but he knew their schedule. He might have studied the flier on his class noticeboard a few times already that semester, just to make sure he had all the upcoming games on his phone calendar, but it was strictly for that reason and nothing else.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh!” Jeno seemed surprised but nodded. His fingers worried at his ear again absently, making Renjun wonder if it was some kind of idiosyncrasy. He couldn’t imagine that Jeno could possibly be nervous, so it wasn't likely a nervous tick, but he had done it several times since they’d started talking and the flesh of the boy’s ear was getting a little red beneath his hand. Either way, it was endearing, and Renjun mentally added it to the bottom of a long list of reasons why he thought Lee Jeno was pretty damn adorable.</p><p> </p><p>“I do normally have practice,” Jeno agreed, “but, since Chuseok is coming up, we don’t have a game next week.” Renjun knew this, having lamented that fact to Donghyuck just a few days earlier. “I saw the email last night, inviting me to this. I wouldn't normally be free, but it seems fortune smiled on me today and practice was cancelled.” Jeno grinned again. “So here I am.”</p><p> </p><p>“Here you are.” Renjun’s cheek muscles responded without any input from his brain, lifting his lips into a small smile. If possible, Jeno’s smile grew in response, until it seemed to eclipse the rest of the room from Renjun’s vision. He thought he’d probably die happy if he could have Jeno smile at him like that just one more time. It would be so worth it.</p><p> </p><p>“If I’m honest, I also needed to escape from Xuxi for a while,” Jeno continued, raising an eyebrow conspiratorially, although Renjun wasn't sure who or what he was being conspiratorial about. His lack of comprehension must have shown on his face, because Jeno palmed his face and then hurried to explain. “Yukhei-hyung. I mean Yukhei. I forgot that you wouldn’t know who that was. We talk so much about y—”</p><p> </p><p>Jeno froze, eyes widening as he swallowed audibly, before he shook his head. “Never mind.” Renjun frowned a little, half-convinced that Jeno had been about to say the word ‘<em> you </em>’ but woefully unable to fabricate a single logical reason for that conclusion, but then Jeno changed course so quickly that Renjun had no choice but to follow him, abandoning the thought. “Anyway, Yukhei went to a party over the weekend, met some college guy, and now he won’t stop talking about him.” Jeno laughed, eyes flicking heavenwards like he was picturing their exchange, and then he shuddered. “I love the guy, but I do not need to hear all the graphic details of his love life for the fifth time, you know?”</p><p> </p><p>Renjun didn't know, but he nodded anyway, keeping his face carefully neutral. He hadn't known—hadn’t even heard any rumours—that Yukhei was gay, or at the very least interested in men, but it didn't surprise him as much as he thought it should have done. Yukhei was extremely popular with everyone, as was Jeno, and they both had plenty of options thrown at them daily. The fact that Yukhei took the opportunity to explore those options was a breath of fresh air in Renjun’s eyes, especially considering the attitude of most of their country towards same-sex relationships.</p><p> </p><p>If only there was a way to find out if Lee Jeno shared any of those interests, Renjun thought wistfully. He didn't imagine that would give him any more of a chance with the boy, either way—people like Lee Jeno simply weren't meant to be with people like him—but he couldn't help his curiosity. Jeno’s sexual preferences had long been a mystery to the Neo City High School population at large, if the rumours and whispered discussions Renjun overheard were anything to go by. Jeno was more than entitled to his privacy, Renjun believed strongly in that, but that didn't stop the older boy dreaming like everyone else. No one but he—and the ever-astute Donghyuck—would ever need to know.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re helping out backstage too, right?” Again, the question surprised Renjun enough that he realised he’d spaced out, probably just staring blankly straight at Jeno’s face. He hoped that the boy wouldn’t think he was being rude, when the sorry truth was that he had entirely too many Jeno-centric thoughts floating around inside his head to focus on just one at a time.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.” He nodded and Jeno beamed again. He made a habit of that, Renjun noted. He had never noticed before just how much the boy smiled, or the way it reached his eyes and made them into two neat crescents nestled atop his puffed-out cheeks, but he was noticing it now. He liked it too. A lot.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re really good at art.” Renjun caught the hint of vulnerability in Jeno’s words as he spoke, although he couldn't imagine why. The younger boy had so many other enviable talents that he couldn't possibly be concerned about his own artistic abilities.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not bad.” He shrugged.</p><p> </p><p>“Could you teach me?” Renjun blinked, not following Jeno’s train of thought. “I mean, I know we’re only going to be painting sets and stuff. I’m not even going to be able to make it all the time.” Renjun’s heart sank a little at those words, even though he knew it was inevitable. Soccer practices and games would come first, as they absolutely should, but he could already feel Jeno’s absence in the sessions that had yet to come to pass. “Still, I’d love to learn from you, if you’d be willing to consider taking on a complete beginner.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m really not that good,” Renjun insisted, but Jeno shook his head.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ve seen your work, Renjun-ssi. We had art together in middle school, and I went to the end of year arts showcase last year.” Jeno fixed him with a look that refused to be argued with. “You’re super talented.” Renjun didn't particularly want to argue with that, especially when Jeno spoke so passionately, so he didn't. He’d forgotten that they’d had art together back in middle school—he’d been dealing with the crippling loss of a best friend that year, and hadn’t had much time left over for pining—but he’d seen Jeno at their freshman arts showcase. Everyone had. People had been speculating about why he’d turned up for weeks after the fact.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not asking for miracles,” Jeno continued, when Renjun didn't respond. He smiled again, but this smile didn't quite reach his eyes. In fact, he looked a little worried that Renjun would say no, as if he would be able to resist agreeing to anything that Jeno asked of him. “Just don’t let me mess up when I inevitably try to paint a tree purple.”</p><p> </p><p>Renjun laughed then, and Jeno visibly brightened. “That I can do.”</p><p> </p><p>“Great.” Jeno’s hand crept back up towards that same ear again, and Renjun’s eyes followed the movement. “It would be nice to have at least one friend here. I don't really know anyone else.” Jeno glanced around, looking out at the room full of people that Renjun hadn't known before the start of the school year either, and something akin to fear flickered across his face too fast for Renjun to be sure he’d seen it correctly.</p><p> </p><p>“You’ll get to know people pretty quickly,” Renjun told him. “If you want to.” Part of him desperately wanted to ask Jeno why he was here in the first place, because he couldn't see anything about painting plywood buildings and sewing mediocre period costumes that would appeal to the star athlete, but he didn't want to break the spell just yet. Renjun might not understand why Jeno was here, setting fanciful tales of fictional extra credit aside for the moment, but he wouldn't mind if he never left. In between those two extremes, he’d take what he could get.</p><p> </p><p>“Does that make us friends?” Jeno asked. He sounded confident, and there was a hint of something almost akin to flirtation in his tone, but the trace of vulnerability from earlier was back as well. His eyes seemed to pull Renjun in closer, urging him to accept his request. Renjun wasn't nearly strong enough to resist that look. He hadn't been since the day they’d met and Jeno had asked for the last pudding cup, the one Renjun had been eyeing up in the middle school cafeteria.</p><p> </p><p>He’d secretly lost a lot more than the pudding to Jeno that day and now, three years later, Jeno finally wanted them to be friends. If he wasn't already experiencing what he was convinced was a parallel universe with Donghyuck, Renjun would be inclined to think he’d just fallen into another one, but this was real. He just needed to figure out how to be friends with the boy, without Jeno realising how he felt and running for the hills.</p><p> </p><p>“Of cour—” The wind was knocked out of Renjun as a body slammed into his back and an arm came down heavily around his shoulders. He froze, brain unable to process the events of the moment quickly enough, and he saw Jeno’s expression shutter and his smile fade, gaze now fixed upon something—or someone—over Renjun’s shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>Turning, hindered though he was by the arm that almost circled his neck, Renjun managed to tilt his head back just enough to make out Jaemin’s face. The boy’s expression was icy, despite the too-wide smile that curled his lips up and away from his teeth, and he seemed to be staring back at Jeno just as intently.</p><p> </p><p>“Jaemin, what is going...?”</p><p> </p><p>“Hi there.” Jaemin addressed Jeno as if Renjun wasn't even there, leaning his free arm around the older boy to offer it to the soccer player. Jeno hesitated for a long moment, a range of conflicting emotions warring for dominance in his eyes, before he took Jaemin’s hand and shook it firmly. If Renjun saw Jaemin wince a little out of the corner of his eye at the contact, neither of them mentioned it, even as Renjun swatted at the arm that pressed him tightly to Jaemin’s side.</p><p> </p><p>“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Renjun hissed, low enough to remain between the three of them but, unfortunately, not nearly quietly enough to go unnoticed by Jeno. This time he pushed harder and Jaemin’s arm fell away, leaving him free to shift closer to Jeno and position himself so that he could see both boys simultaneously. Jeno didn't move a muscle, still locked in some kind of bizarre staring contest with Jaemin over his head, and he ended up with his knees sandwiched between two strong, immovable thighs. It wasn't exactly comfortable, but it was better than only seeing one side of the exchange at a time.</p><p> </p><p>“I just wanted to say hello to the newest member of our little performing arts family, Renjunie.” Jaemin’s use of that particular nickname had Renjun’s eyebrows disappearing into his hairline, and Jeno’s eyes narrowed almost imperceptibly. Jaemin only ever seemed to use epithets like that when he was looking for a hug or spoiling for an argument, and Renjun wasn't in the mood for either extreme right then. Especially not in front of Jeno.</p><p> </p><p>“Nice to meet you.” Jeno sounded like he meant the exact opposite, but he nodded respectfully at Jaemin anyway. “I’m sorry, but I don't believe we’ve met. Who exactly are you?” His tone was as polite, as though he could be speaking to a teacher or elder, but there was a bite of stubbornness and bluntness there that almost made Renjun smile. If he wasn’t worried about whatever Jaemin was about to say, he might have found the situation comical. He still had no idea what was going on, but the animosity radiating from the boys on either side of him made absolutely no sense.</p><p> </p><p>“Na Jaemin.” Jaemin paused, glancing down at Renjun for a moment, as though gauging his reaction. Renjun made sure to roll his eyes and scowl up at the younger boy, who paled slightly and turned his attention back to Jeno. “Are the two of you friends?” He cleared his throat deliberately. “Our Renjunie has never mentioned you before.”</p><p> </p><p>That was an outright lie, Renjun thought, as he stared up at Jaemin in disbelief. Jaemin often had his strange moments, where he’d behave in a way that Renjun couldn't understand or say something that was a little bit...off, but this was a new side to Jaemin that he had never seen before. There was an aggressive, almost possessive air to the energy that the boy was giving off now, and Renjun wasn't ready to even start to try to fathom the dynamic he suddenly found himself trapped in. He needed to diffuse whatever this was, and then hope that Jeno wouldn't rescind his offer of friendship when he realised that Na Jaemin was more or less non-refundable from the Renjun friendship package.</p><p> </p><p>“What exactly is this?” Jeno asked suddenly, gesturing between the two of them with a finger, the one that had been playing with his ear just minutes before. “Are you two, uh...?” Renjun couldn't be sure, but he knew what it seemed like Jeno was implying. He also knew he needed to nix that thought immediately, before it had a chance to grow any further. He wasn't under any illusions that Jeno might be interested in him like that, wish as he might that that was the case, but he didn't want to scare off a potential friend, just because Jaemin was a colossal moron who didn't know when to leave well alone.</p><p> </p><p>“We’re friends,” he told Jeno, who looked unconvinced but made eye contact with Renjun for the first time since Jaemin had made his entrance. “He’s an idiot,” Renjun elbowed Jaemin in the ribs for emphasis, ignoring the pained groan that he garnered in response, “but he’s mostly harmless.” He smiled up at Jeno, hoping Jeno would understand. “I usually try to ignore him whenever he speaks. I suggest you just do the same.”</p><p> </p><p>Jeno smirked at that, eyes raking over Jaemin dismissively once more before he nodded. “Sounds like a solid plan.” He seemed like he wanted to say something else, but then his phone started to ring, the loud, old-school tune startling all three of them momentarily, and he reluctantly pulled it out of his pocket. Glancing down at the caller ID, he sighed, flashing Renjun an apologetic grimace before standing up and pressing the device to his ear.</p><p> </p><p>“Jaemin, you have an awful lot of explaining to—” Once again, Renjun’s whispered rebuke was interrupted, this time by the arrival of Donghyuck, Chenle and Jisung. Donghyuck, with a face like thunder, tried to pull Jaemin away again, but the boy refused to be displaced from his position next to Renjun on the table.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry about that, Injunie,” Donghyuck said, turning his attention from Jaemin to Renjun. “I tried to stop him.” The older boy shrugged but made sure to glare at Jaemin as he did so. The younger boy didn't look quite as confident now as he had just moments before, when he’d been staring down the innocent bystander that was Lee Jeno, but he met Renjun’s eye without glancing away.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s fine,” Renjun told him, loud enough that Jaemin would know he was addressing both of them. “We’ll talk about this later.”</p><p> </p><p>“Good idea,” Donghyuck agreed. He sat down on the floor at Jaemin’s feet, followed promptly by the two freshmen. Jisung got his phone out, flipping it slowly end on end between his fingers, but didn't switch it on. Instead, he and Chenle watched each of the older boys curiously, although neither spoke. Renjun wondered if maybe Donghyuck had instructed them to simply not get involved. It was a good plan if that was the case.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, Hyuck?” Renjun wanted to change the subject, so he quickly fished for the most far-removed topic he could think of, to try to provide some levity to the situation. Donghyuck hummed in acknowledgement, looking up at him, so he continued. “Did you ever find out how your brother’s roommate got on with that guy in his class?”</p><p> </p><p>“Dongyoung-hyung?” Donghyuck seemed surprised by the question, since Renjun already knew all of their names, but thankfully played along. “Last I heard, nothing had really changed. He’s still awkwardly hiding from Taeyong every time he goes to class.” Jisung’s phone slipped from his fingers and clattered to the floor with a sharp smack. The boy jumped, blinking down at it, and all eyes snapped immediately to him.</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry,” he mumbled.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you okay?” Donghyuck reached out and picked up the phone, handing it back to him.</p><p> </p><p>“It must have slipped,” Chenle suggested, as Jisung continued to blink down at the spot where the phone had landed.</p><p> </p><p>“Sure.” Donghyuck seemed to accept the suggestion without question, but Renjun eyed Chenle with suspicion as the boy’s attention darted wildly from person to person, like he wasn't sure where it was safe to look. Renjun couldn't begin to imagine why Chenle would feel the need to lie about something as insignificant as a phone falling onto the floor, but he was certain that the words coming out of Chenle’s mouth had been a lie.</p><p> </p><p>“Why did you ask?” Donghyuck said, pulling his gaze from Jisung to focus on Renjun’s face above him.</p><p> </p><p>“Jeno-ssi mentioned something about a college party when we were talking about Yukhei-ge earlier.” Renjun glanced over at Jeno to see that he had finished his call and was moving back towards them. “It just popped into my head.” He then turned his head to smile at Jeno, who had come to a stop beside him, close enough that the side of his leg brushed against Renjun’s knee. “Everything okay?”</p><p> </p><p>“That was Yukhei-hyung,” Jeno said, holding the phone up as if to punctuate his response. “He needs me to help him plan a date, apparently. I tried to refuse, but he’s lost in a shopping mall and he sounded desperate.” The look Jeno flashed Renjun was apologetic and a little sad, but he didn't seem annoyed. Renjun hoped that meant he didn't hold the last ten minutes against him.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s okay,” Renjun told Jeno, smiling in a way that he hoped seemed somewhat calm and collected. Inside, he was anything but calm, but Jeno didn't need to know that. He hopped down off the table next to Jaemin, straightening up so he could address Jeno properly. “Go help him out. It sounds like he needs it.”</p><p> </p><p>“What he thinks I know about flowers that he doesn’t is anyone’s guess,” Jeno rolled his eyes playfully, “but I’ll do my best. Thanks, Renjun-ah.” He unleashed another dazzling, toothy grin, and then glanced around at the rest of the gathered group. “I’m sorry I didn't get the chance to meet you all. Maybe next time?”</p><p> </p><p>He turned to leave, then seemed to hesitate before turning back to Renjun. “I almost forgot. Wave at me at the next game, will you?” Renjun frowned, the words taking a moment to process before he was able to respond.</p><p> </p><p>“Wave at you?” He blinked once. “Why?”</p><p> </p><p>“Because that’s what friends do, right?” Jeno didn't wait for a reply this time, waving at them all before striding quickly across the busy room and out into the main school building. He had at least four sets of eyes on him as he left, and Renjun sighed heavily as he rounded the corner. Jeno had sounded genuinely apologetic about leaving, but Renjun couldn't help but wonder if Jaemin had had anything to do with the suddenness of it all. That phone call could easily have given him an excellent excuse to bail on an awkward situation. Maybe it was wishful thinking, but Renjun wondered if there was a chance that Jeno might have chosen to stay if they hadn't been interrupted.</p><p> </p><p>“We should, uh, go too.” Renjun turned at the sound of Chenle’s voice and saw that he and Jisung had both stood up. Donghyuck was still on the floor, but he had begun shifting up onto his knees to rise as well.</p><p> </p><p>“Everything okay?” Renjun asked Chenle, half wondering if he was about to get lied to again.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.” Chenle’s eyes flicked to Jisung so quickly that Renjun almost missed it, then he spoke again. “Jisung just realised that he needs to go home. My mom can give him a ride, so I’m going too.” Lie. Again, there was an element of truth underneath it all, but there was something definitely not quite right about the cadence of his words.</p><p> </p><p>“Goodnight, Chenle-yah. Jisung-ah.” Donghyuck hugged Chenle and smiled affectionately at Jisung, who ignored him and instead waved goodbye to Jaemin, before they both hurried off in the direction that Jeno had gone. Donghyuck must have spotted Renjun’s dubious expression, because he sidled up next to him as they watched the two freshmen leave. “What’s wrong?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not sure,” Renjun muttered, shaking his head. “When I figure it out, I’ll tell you.”</p><p> </p><p>“So, that was awkward.”</p><p> </p><p>At the sound of Jaemin’s voice, Renjun whirled around to face him, only to be greeted by the boy lazily leaning back on his elbows against the tabletop, looking for all the world like he was completely unphased by everything that had just happened.</p><p> </p><p>“Jaemin, don’t.” That was Donghyuck, but Renjun could feel the irritation—mixed in with a healthy serving of embarrassment and humiliation—bubbling up inside him as he stared at the blazé boy in front of him. He’d held it at bay while Jeno and the maknaes had been there, he realised, but they needed to talk about what had just happened.</p><p> </p><p>“You had absolutely no right to intrude on my conversation with Jeno just now, Jaemin.” He tried to keep his voice level and even, so they didn't attract unwanted attention from the people around them, but Renjun noticed Donghyuck’s gaze darting from his friends to the nearby students uneasily. “I don’t know what you were thinking, but you were really rude to him.”</p><p> </p><p>“I didn't like the way he was looking at you,” Jaemin spluttered, pushing up off his elbows to look straight at Renjun, who crossed his arms over his chest. “I just introduced myself.”</p><p> </p><p>“You barged into something that you had no business being involved in!” Renjun knew he was getting steadily louder, from the way that a group of senior girls to his left edged away slowly, giving him a weird look, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Jaemin had brought this on himself, and now he’d reap the results of his actions, come what may.</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s take this outside.” Renjun didn't respond to Donghyuck’s hushed suggestion, but allowed his friend to manoeuvre both himself and Jaemin through the crowd and out into the quiet, brightly lit hallway. Donghyuck released his arm as soon as the door to the drama studio swung shut behind them, and Renjun rounded on Jaemin again.</p><p> </p><p>“What were you thinking?” Jaemin puffed out his chest and started to say something, his face twisting in anger, but Renjun wasn't done. He held up a single, shaking finger and, to his surprise, Jaemin’s jaw snapped shut immediately. “Don’t you dare give me that bullshit about not liking the way he was looking at me again.” Renjun blew out a breath, pulling himself to his full height, even if he didn't quite match Jaemin’s stature. “I want to know the real reason that you embarrassed me in front of Jeno, or I swear I’ll…”</p><p> </p><p>He broke off, not sure he wanted to make a threat in anger that he wouldn’t be prepared to follow through on, but Jaemin took the bait regardless. “I was telling the truth,” Jaemin snapped, breathing heavily as he stared Renjun down. “He was looking at you like you were—I don’t know—something he wanted to devour, and I didn't like it.”</p><p> </p><p>Renjun was almost brought up short by that description. He hadn't noticed anything of the sort from Jeno; quite the opposite, in fact. Jeno had been nothing but polite and thoughtful, wanting to be his friend and asking him to help with the set painting. Sure, they’d had a few moments of intense staring that Renjun wished were evidence of whatever strange meet-cute Jaemin had fashioned inside his head, but nothing that had happened justified the kind of reaction that the younger boy had displayed.</p><p> </p><p>“Even if I believed you,” Renjun told Jaemin, who took a step back as the older boy levelled him with a heavy, angry gaze, “which I don’t, that doesn't give you any right to do what you did.” He took a step towards Jaemin, who matched it with another step backwards. “You know I like him. You have to know.”</p><p> </p><p>The guilt Renjun could see reflected in Jaemin’s wide-blown eyes told him everything he needed to know on that subject, so he ploughed straight on, each statement punctuated by a step in Jaemin’s direction. “If, for some crazy reason, he actually did like me back, why would you try to ruin that. I was enjoying myself, finally getting to know the guy that I’ve been madly in love with for three years—three years, Jaemin—and you ruined it.” Jaemin tried to take another step back, but found himself trapped against the wall, with Renjun still advancing. “You embarrassed me and you embarrassed yourself, and for what? Why did you do it?”</p><p> </p><p>Renjun’s feet hit something solid and he glanced down to see his toes were pressed against the tips of Jaemin’s shoes. He was close enough to see the whites of Jaemin’s eyes, as well as the dawning regret and panic on the boy’s face. Unfortunately for Jaemin, Renjun thought to himself, it was a little late for regret.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you really not know why?” Jaemin’s voice was suddenly soft and breathy, his back pressed flat against the expanse of wall behind him. He held Renjun’s gaze, even as his fingers shook where he held them against his chest, and then blinked slowly. When he reopened his eyes, his expression was guarded and impossible to read.</p><p> </p><p>“Would I be asking if I knew?” Renjun asked, sensing a little too late that something important had just shifted in the dynamic between them. He could sense Donghyuck behind him, watching on in silence, but all of the fight seemed to have drained out of Jaemin from one heartbeat to the next. He watched as Jaemin’s gaze flicked to Donghyuck over his shoulder, just for a split second, before he focused back on Renjun’s face again.</p><p> </p><p>“If you really don't know, it doesn’t even matter,” Jaemin told him, so softly that Renjun almost didn't hear him. Jaemin closed his eyes again for a moment, and then sighed. The breath that escaped him almost sounded pained. “I’m sorry, Renjun-ssi. It won’t ever happen again.” Before Renjun could react, Jaemin slipped out and around him, breaking into a sprint down the hallway towards the school entrance. Renjun let him go, coherent thoughts temporarily banished from the intelligent parts of his brain as he tried and failed to understand what had just happened.</p><p> </p><p>“I—” Renjun turned to see Donghyuck wavering, clearly torn between chasing after Jaemin and staying with him. “Are you okay?” Was he? Renjun wasn't sure, but he knew that Jaemin wasn’t. He might still be upset and mildly irritated with the younger boy—although most of the anger had dissipated almost immediately with Jaemin’s departure—but they were still friends. He didn't want Jaemin to be in pain because of him, not like this.</p><p> </p><p>“Go after him.”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you sure.” Donghyuck’s eyes followed Jaemin, who was almost out of sight, but he still hadn't made a move to follow him.</p><p> </p><p>“Go.”</p><p> </p><p>After Donghyuck was gone, Renjun sank to the ground against the wall that Jaemin had vacated, folding his knees up into his chest. Wrapping his arms around himself, he pressed his chin into his forearms and closed his eyes, allowing a moment of calm to wash through him and focus his thoughts.</p><p> </p><p>He didn't know what had just happened, nor what Jaemin had been about to say before he fled, but he knew that it had to be important to him. No matter how angry he’d been at Jaemin, he had never wanted this. He’d wanted to shame the boy into admitting that he’d been an idiot in front of Jeno, but Renjun had the feeling he’d achieved far more than that without meaning to. He just hoped that Jaemin would give him a chance to fix things.</p><p> </p><p>They bickered and argued often, like toddlers who threw all of their toys out of the stroller when they didn't get their way. He picked on Jaemin because he knew the boy could take it, and because that was just the way their dynamic was. Donghyuck had said that they acted that way in his reality too and that it was always in good fun. Renjun actually enjoyed their little verbal sparring matches, looking forward to the mischievous gleam that would appear in Jaemin’s eye whenever one of them happened upon a topic they knew would rile the other up.</p><p> </p><p>He honestly didn't know what he’d do without Jaemin. He needed Jaemin just as much as he needed Donghyuck—maybe even more, knowing the Hyuck’s presence in his life wasn’t going to be forever. He just had to hope Jaemin still wanted him in his life, after this. He didn't really even know what <em> this </em> was, but he knew that he had to fix it.</p><p> </p><p>The words were whispered into the empty hallway, so quiet that not even a passerby would hear, but Renjun meant every word. “Jaemin-ah, I’m sorry. I love you, my friend.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Wow. That was painful to write at the end there, but it had to happen. RenMin (and by extension NoRenMin) are going to get through this stronger than ever, and they may even figure out what the heck is going on eventually (because Renjun is still completely clueless, bless him). I'm not one for dragging things out too long, so the idiot trio saga will come to a head very soon too. We just need to quickly drop in on a couple of other ships first (*cough*).</p><p>As always, have a wonderful day! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. Chapter 28</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Firstly, 100k squad. Wow! I knew it would get there, and we've still got a long way to go, but it's a really big number!!</p><p>Second, I know a lot of you have been really curious about Jisung's story over the last couple of chapters. You won't get many answers in this one, as we're mainly getting things set up for the reveal today, but I think the next one should answer a lot of your questions. Then we can get ready to play member bingo again...</p><p>Today, I present the uncomfortable reality of life after RenMin (for now), and Hyuck does something he should have done a really long time ago. To the person who made me stop and think really hard about that (you know who you are—thank you!), I hope I did it justice.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Over the week and a half that followed the incident between Renjun and Jaemin, played out in the hallway outside the social event-turned-disaster, Donghyuck found himself in the unenviable position of having to split his time between his two closest friends. He existed in a constant state of mild panic that he was neglecting one in favour of the other, or that he was spending too much time with one when the other needed him, but they had made this mess and he was doing his best. If the pair refused to be in the same room as each other, aside from when it was mandated by their class schedules, that wasn't his fault.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>To his credit, Renjun had attempted to smooth things over with Jaemin the very next day in homeroom, turning up on Thursday morning with another of his carefully crafted speeches—complete with multiple cue cards—this one outlining the reasons why Jaemin should forgive him. Donghyuck had initially even been hopeful, for a few minutes at least, that it would work, when Jaemin sat in silence and listened to the entire thing without interruption. Then the younger boy had stood up, walked to the front of the room, and asked the teacher if he could switch seats with Donghyuck for the rest of the semester.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The look of utter devastation on Renjun’s face in that moment would have been enough to bring anyone to their knees, Donghyuck thought, but then he so often saw that same look on Jaemin’s face too, whenever Renjun wasn't looking—which was a tough feat, because all Renjun seemed to do these days was watch Jaemin, whenever he was within eyeshot.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With no obvious solution to the problem presenting itself, Donghyuck had resolved to spend equal time with each of the boys, in so much as his schedule and school work allowed, and to try to help each of them to see reason individually. It was a solid plan, one that Donghyuck had spent several sleepless nights devising, except that it didn't yet seem to be showing any signs of actually working.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why don’t you try talking to him again?” he asked Renjun one Monday afternoon, as the two of them sat on a table at the back of the school’s art studio. They were, ostensibly, waiting for instructions from the senior girl in charge of their small group of volunteers, but she was deep in conversation with one of the fine art teachers at the front of the room, leaving the rest of the group free to talk amongst themselves.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve already told you, Hyuck,” Renjun said with a heavy sigh, “I’m not the one who wants space here. I tried apologising to Jaemin already, but he refused to listen. If he doesn't want to talk, I’m not going to force him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But you miss him.” It wasn't a question. It didn't need to be. The loss and sadness in Renjun’s eyes had been hard to miss over the last few days, as they ate lunch together and tried to ignore the empty seat across from Renjun that Donghyuck had pointedly refused to sit in. He’d seen that same pain echoed in Jaemin’s eyes, when they’d been taken to a two-seater table in their favourite cafe the following Saturday afternoon, instead of the four-seater that they normally claimed for whenever Renjun would inevitably join them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Both of his friends were miserable, and the worst part was that only two out of the three of them knew why. Jaemin hadn't been able to hide his heartbreak from Donghyuck, when the older boy had followed him into the downstairs men’s bathroom immediately after the incident, only to find his friend crying in a stall and looking like the bottom had truly fallen out of his world. Between sobs, he’d confirmed what Donghyuck already knew—that he loved an oblivious boy who would never love him back, a boy who couldn't see the truth even when it was right in front of him—and then promptly made Donghyuck promise never to speak of any of this to Renjun on pain of death.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck could understand that part, at least. He’d also spent years secretly pining over someone who had never so much as guessed at the truth, just like both of these boys had. It wasn't his place to expose Jaemin’s feelings like that, especially when it was clear that Renjun’s affections were firmly elsewhere, but that didn't mean that Donghyuck’s heart didn't bleed for Jaemin whenever Renjun insisted that it was the younger boy who was pushing </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span> away. It would be so easy just to lay all the cards out on the table—he was sure that Renjun would be kind about it too, even if he didn't reciprocate—but it wasn't Donghyuck’s place to do that. Instead, he just had to be the best friend he could to both of them, in the earnest hope that things would work themselves out in time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course I miss him,” Renjun agreed, surprising Donghyuck into remembering that they were in the middle of a conversation, one that was achingly familiar at this point. Things always ended the same way, leaving both of them unsatisfied and unhappy, but he couldn’t stop himself from bringing it up every day regardless.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So talk to him! He misses you too.” Donghyuck knew he sounded tired and a little hysterical at this point, but Renjun just fixed him with an irritated glare.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m giving him what he wants. If he wants to talk, he knows where I am.” At that, Renjun turned away from Donghyuck, eyes instead fixed on a flurry of colour and movement over by the door. An adorable eye smile announced a tall, leanly-muscled boy to the room, then he was striding towards their table. He was a little late, and he still wore his slightly-sweaty gym clothes from his final class period, but Lee Jeno had made his entrance—just as he had the previous Monday afternoon—and that meant that their conversation was officially over for the day.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Donghyuck-ah. Renjun-ah.” Jeno’s gaze ghosted over Donghyuck’s face for a brief moment, before it settled on the older boy beside him. His smile widened and he dropped his gym bag onto the floor, before hopping up onto the table next to Renjun. “What are we doing today?” Jeno sounded excited, but Donghyuck couldn't quite tell if that was at the prospect of designing props for 19th-Century French artisans or because Renjun was currently looking up at him like he was the only person left on Earth. Knowing Jeno, it was probably a bit of both.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to go find out what’s going on,” he said half-heartedly, knowing that neither of them was actually listening anymore, as he pushed off the desk and quickly put space between himself and the two boys. They were still in the awkward, almost-flirting stage of their relationship, but he wasn't blind. They were so happy just to be able to sit next to each other and, although his heart hurt for Jaemin, he could admit that he was happy for Renjun. He was clearly head-over-heels for Jeno, and the other boy seemed to share at least some of those feelings. If nothing else came of this, he hoped that Renjun could have the happiness he deserved, even if that happiness was with the lovable dope that was Jeno—and, unfortunately, at the expense of someone else they both cared for deeply.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>An hour later, when they left the art studio, leaving their cardboard creations in the drying racks until the next session, Renjun couldn't stop talking about Jeno. He regaled Donghyuck with play-by-plays of each of their interactions all the way out to the car, and then again as they drove home, until Donghyuck felt like he’d lived most of them himself. That made him feel a little weird, imagining the Jeno he’d grown up with saying such sweet, sappy things to him too, but he couldn't bring himself to tell Renjun to stop. The blinding smile that stayed plastered across Renjun’s face long after Donghyuck drove off, leaving him standing on the kerb outside his house, was more than worth any discomfort.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next evening, with a big History test coming up later in the week, Donghyuck met Jaemin outside the library after classes ended for the day. Usually, he’d turn to Renjun for help with studying, but he’d unofficially dubbed Tuesdays as one of Jaemin’s days and neither of his friends had questioned his new schedule. It was as though they had—independently, yet simultaneously—realised that it was necessary and accepted it without argument, even as Donghyuck fervently wished one of them would violate the unspoken terms and admit defeat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So there he was, face to face with a boy who looked like he wanted desperately to be anywhere other than here, eyes darting around quickly as he avoided making direct eye contact with Donghyuck. “You okay, NaNa?” he asked, tilting his head slightly so that he could better see the dark circles that rimmed Jaemin’s tired eyes. He’d taken to using the nickname after the incident, when Jaemin had flinched at his use of the more familiar nickname Renjun usually used, and he knew the boy appreciated it by the microscopic smile that graced his face each time it was spoken.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine.” The voice was monotonous, the eyes dull and listless. Donghyuck blinked slowly, examining Jaemin’s face for another few seconds before he shook his head. Grabbing his friend’s hand, he pulled him down the hallway and away from the library. Jaemin resisted for a moment, before allowing himself to be manoeuvred down a flight of stairs and into a corridor he knew all too well.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are we doing here, Hyuckie?” Jaemin asked, brows knitting together as he stared up at the sign above the nearest door, which declared the room beyond to be Dance Studio 1A. Donghyuck glanced back at him with a reassuring smile, then pushed open the door to the shadowy classroom. He fumbled around in the darkness, trying to find the light switch, and Jaemin reluctantly moved to help him, strip lights flaring to life one by one above their heads as they moved further into the room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyuck?” When Donghyuck didn't answer him, Jaemin tried again, squeezing down on the fingers clamped around his own gently to attract the other boy’s attention. Donghyuck turned to look at him, letting his backpack slide off his shoulder and onto the floor.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let’s do something else today,” Donghyuck told him, gesturing around at the space they stood in. It was reminiscent of dozens of different dance studios Donghyuck had been in over the years, but it was the first time since he’d woken up here that he’d set foot inside one. He was surprised by the strength of the emotions that the wall of mirrors and the smell of polished wood evoked in him. He hadn't realised quite how much he’d missed it until now, but something about the space felt a tiny bit like home.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t dance,” Jaemin told him slowly, eyeing Donghyuck from head to toe. He frowned again, even as Donghyuck flashed him a small smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Donghyuck doesn't,” he replied with a shrug. Then he rolled his shoulders and started to pull his blazer off. “But Haechan does.” It wasn't the first time he’d mentioned that name to Jaemin, having detailed aspects of his life story to both him and Renjun multiple times, but it still took the boy a few moments to register what he was implying.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your body isn’t in that kind of condition. You could hurt yourself,” Jaemin protested, but Donghyuck cut him off with a wave of his hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know.” That was a huge part of why he’d never ventured down here, into this particular part of the school, before. He had desperately missed this part of his life—he’d been dancing every single day since he became a trainee, after all—but this wasn't quite as simple as training his voice for a couple of weeks for an audition. He’d always had a natural gift for singing, one that he’d honed over the years, sure, but this Donghyuck shared that natural ability, underused though it had been.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knew from experience, however, just how much effort, blood, sweat and tears he had put into his dancing over the years. He hadn't been a slouch when he’d joined SM, far from it, but this body had clearly never danced a day in its life. He could feel the stiffness and lack of flexibility every time he so much as climbed a particularly steep set of steps, and he knew from Jaemin that this Donghyuck hadn’t shown a lick of interest in dance since long before starting high school.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What brought this on?” Jaemin asked, staring curiously at Donghyuck now. It made a welcome change from the boy who, five minutes earlier, had struggled to make eye contact, but that didn't make the question any less complicated to answer. A big part of it had to do with trying to cheer Jaemin up, bringing him to a place that Donghyuck knew he felt comfortable when he was at his lowest, but an equally big part of Donghyuck knew that this was important for himself too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I guess I figured it’s about time,” he said thoughtfully. “We could both use a bit of a distraction, and it's something we both love.” He felt the weighty truth of those words as he spoke them, and a thrill of anticipation snaked its way down his spine.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d actually tried, just once, a few weeks after he’d woken up in this body, to restore this lost part of himself to life. He’d made it about two minutes into a familiar routine, radio blasting in his room while his mom was out, before he’d tripped over the rug by the window, nearly breaking his ankle and his nose in the process. His limbs simply wouldn't do what he asked them to, and his flexibility was like that of an ancient oak tree. He’d felt so defeated that he’d vowed not to bother trying again, as empty as that promise left him. He’d fought off the urges for weeks, even as those weeks slowly turned into months, but it finally felt right here with Jaemin. Perhaps it would help both of them, he mused, as he watched the other boy thoughtfully.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If we’re going to do this, we need to warm up properly,” Jaemin said firmly. Donghyuck couldn't argue with that and, when Jaemin started to guide him through a simple stretching sequence like he was a beginner, he didn't correct him. For all intents and purposes, he was a complete novice in this reality, and he needed to remember that so that he didn't permanently damage this body he was borrowing. He needed to take things slowly. Besides, a hint of a smile was starting to form on Jaemin’s face as he walked Donghyuck through each move in turn. There was no way that he was going to risk jeopardising that, not even if it meant that he was effectively starting his dance training from square one again today.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re actually pretty good at this,” Jaemin offered just under an hour later, as Donghyuck flopped down onto his back next to the younger boy, panting as though he’d just run a marathon with zero training. “For an octogenarian.” His chest felt like it was going to cave in on top of his internal organs, but they both had a satisfied grin on their faces as they lay side by side. Jaemin’s mood had evidently lifted enough that he felt comfortable cracking jokes at Donghyuck’s expense, but the older boy wasn't complaining. If anything, Donghyuck’s smile grew at that, because it meant that his diversion was working.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey!” he groused, poking Jaemin in the ribs gently with his index finger to let him know he wasn't really mad. “Where I come from, I’m a much better dancer than you.” Jaemin snorted, and Donghyuck had to fight a laugh as it bubbled up in his throat. He pressed his lips together to keep his expression carefully neutral, as Jaemin flopped over onto his side and propped himself on an elbow to look his friend in the eye.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not a chance,” Jaemin said. Donghyuck met the boy’s eye and grinned at the challenge he saw reflected back at him. “I’d wager there’s not a single universe where you’re a better dancer than me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Debatable,” Donghyuck muttered, pushing up to a sitting position. It no longer hurt to hold himself up, so he took that as a good sign. He knew that he would be impossibly sore tomorrow, and he hadn't succeeded in pulling off even half of the moves that Jaemin had performed with ease, but he could feel that familiar burn of exertion and the adrenaline of an enjoyable practice coursing through his body.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How do you feel?” Jaemin swiped a hand over his damp hair, pushing it back from his forehead as he sat up and shifted until his hip pressed against Donghyuck’s thigh. Donghyuck took the hint, even if that hadn't been what Jaemin had intended, and dropped his cheek onto Jaemin’s shoulder. The younger boy stiffened for a moment, then leant into his friend and sighed happily.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I feel sore,” Donghyuck admitted, “but that was fun. I’ve missed this so much.” He felt Jaemin nod, the movement shifting him slightly against the other boy’s body, and then Jaemin wrapped an arm around his shoulders. They were both sweaty and exhausted, and the skin on skin contact wasn't entirely pleasant, but Donghyuck had no intention of pulling away. The moment felt important, for both of them, and he wasn't about to ruin it because a few pesky drops of rapidly cooling sweat were creeping down his spine towards his boxers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How do </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> feel?” he asked Jaemin, after a few moments of comfortable silence. Again, he felt a small shift where their bodies met as Jaemin shrugged, then thought hard about his answer before he spoke.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I still ache,” he admitted. Donghyuck couldn't help but recognise the parallel in their responses, even though only one of them was talking about dance. “Sometimes, I think I always will, but this helped.” Jaemin shifted to look down at Donghyuck, meeting the older boy’s gaze steadily for the first time in days. “I’d almost forgotten how calm dancing makes me afterwards.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Me too.” Donghyuck sat up, pushing off Jaemin’s shoulder and twisting his body so they faced each other on the smooth, wooden floor of the studio. “Would you maybe want to do this again?” he asked. For a moment, Jaemin didn't move and Donghyuck wondered if he’d made a mistake. Then the boy smiled, the gesture lighting up his face and distracting from the dark circles of countless sleepless nights.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure.” Jaemin stretched his arms out on either side of him, closing his eyes as he groaned at the movement. “Thursday?” Donghyuck was grateful that he didn't mention Wednesday, both of them knowing without discussion that he would spend it with Renjun. Alternating days had worked for them so far, and Jaemin caught on quickly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’d love to.” Donghyuck paused, then asked the obvious question. “Wait, don’t you have your actual dance rehearsal on Thursday? For the show?” He hadn't memorised the entire timetable yet, focusing on his own rehearsals and, thus, the days he was free to spend with the two boys currently avoiding each other, but he thought he remembered seeing a dance session on that day.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, shit,” Jaemin murmured. “What about…?” He broke off into a sigh, knowing that there weren't many days left after that, what with three busy schedules that needed to be managed carefully so that they didn't overlap in the wrong places. “Forget it.” His smile fell and Donghyuck’s heart squeezed painfully.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What time does your practice end on Thursday?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Five. Why?” Donghyuck knew that there was a stage tech meeting in the art studio that night too, which finished around the same time. If he went to that, he could meet Jaemin after his rehearsal. It would mean spending time with Renjun on Jaemin’s day, but he hoped neither boy wouldn't mind too much.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you need to be home early that day?” he asked, and Jaemin shook his head. “If you want, I can meet you here at five and we can hang out after, when everyone else leaves.” He thought back to what Renjun had told him about Jeno’s practice schedule and nodded to himself absently. “There’s a soccer practice until six-thirty, so we shouldn’t get locked in or anything.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin’s expression darkened a little at the mention of the sport, but he agreed quickly. “Sounds great.” With that, the pair retrieved the various articles of clothing they’d discarded during their session and headed out to the parking lot. Jaemin caught a ride from Donghyuck, his usual driver no longer a viable option, and Donghyuck made sure to hug Jaemin extra tight before he let him out of the car outside his house. If Jaemin clung to him just a little tighter than usual too, Donghyuck wasn't about to complain.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Donghyuck showed up to the dance studio on Thursday, he wasn't surprised to see a crowd of increasingly familiar faces passing him in the hallway going in the opposite direction. Kunhang and Yang Yang waved at him good-naturedly, the latter offering him a fist bump as they passed, followed closely by Dejun and Soonyoung. Dejun seemed a little surprised to see him and, given that Dejun was the only other person not sweating profusely, Donghyuck was inclined to agree. Then again, it made sense that the boy would be observing the practice, as principal student organiser of the production—not to mention spending time with his friends, many of whom were in the dance society.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come on in, Hyuck.” Hearing Jaemin’s voice coming from inside the dance studio, Donghyuck turned his attention from Dejun’s retreating back and hurried inside. Jaemin was leaning against the far wall, gaze focused on two students huddled together on the floor near the middle of the large mirror wall. Jisung was waving his hands around his head animatedly, while Chenle followed their movements with wide eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And then he landed the backflip perfectly,” Donghyuck heard Jisung enthuse, just before his monologue came to an abrupt halt and both boys turned to look at Donghyuck. Jisung almost looked guilty, flushing when he realised that they were the only ones left in the room, aside from Donghyuck and Jaemin. “Oh.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t let us stop you, if you want to stay,” Jaemin told Jisung, when the younger boy tried to clamber to his feet too quickly and almost tripped over his shoes. Chenle grabbed at his arm to stop him face planting into the floorboards, and Jaemin chuckled softly, earning a glare from his biggest fan. “We’re just going to dance for a while.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chenle’s gaze flicked over to Donghyuck, eyebrows raising slightly in surprise. Half a beat later, Jisung followed suit, eyeing the older boy with an unconvinced look on his face. “You dance?” It was the first time that Jisung had directly addressed him in this reality, at least voluntarily, but it wasn't exactly the momentous interaction Donghyuck had been hoping for.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not well,” Donghyuck told him honestly. He so wished that he could have said yes, sensing that Jisung would have been somewhat impressed by that answer, but he couldn't lie. Even Chenle could probably dance circles around him at this point, with the condition his body was in. “But I try.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For a moment, he didn't think Jisung was going to reply. Then the boy nodded and a muscle in one of his cheeks twitched, lifting his lips into a facsimile of a smile. “Cool.” Again, it wasn't the whole-hearted affection Donghyuck craved from his youngest brother, but he’d take the attempt at a smile. It was a start. He pulled off his bag and jacket, trying to ignore the curious looks he was getting from the two freshmen, and walked over to where Jaemin stood.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you want to dance to today, Hyuck?” Jaemin asked, kicking up off the wall. Donghyuck shrugged, then immediately regretted his indecisiveness when Jaemin’s eyes gleamed with mischief that Donghyuck didn't realise he had been missing. Jaemin lowered his voice, leaning in so the younger boys wouldn't be able to hear. “You could teach </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span> something, if you want.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” Donghyuck leant back, surprise and confusion twisting his features as he searched for the joke in Jaemin’s eyes. The boy had mentioned something similar on Tuesday, an offhand comment that Donghyuck had brushed off as a joke, but there was no hint of teasing in Jaemin’s face. He was serious, Donghyuck realised. “Really?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean, we don’t have music, but I’ve been thinking about it ever since you…” Jaemin glanced over at Chenle and Jisung again. Satisfied that they weren't paying attention, he continued. “Ever since I found out the truth, I’ve been curious. Somewhere out there in the universe, another me knows all these routines that I haven't had a chance to learn yet.” Jaemin chuckled softly. “Call it FOMO, but I don’t like not knowing something that he does.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For a moment, Donghyuck just stared at him, then he let out a surprised bark of laughter, head tilting back against the wall behind them as his body shook with it. “Fair enough.” He didn't know what he was planning to do, and he wasn't altogether convinced that this was a good idea—for all he knew, this would be the moment he created some kind of paradox—but Jaemin didn't seem like he’d be easy to dissuade. The only option left was to acquiesce, Donghyuck concluded, to teach Jaemin one of the dance routines that were still imprinted on his brain as clearly they had been the day he’d learned them—somewhere on the other side of the universe, alongside three boys who looked identical to the ones currently gathered in this high school dance studio.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I guess we might as well start from the beginning,” he told Jaemin, stepping out into the centre of the room with the younger boy in tow. He hummed the first bar of a familiar song, adjusting the pitch to something he hoped he would be able to maintain amidst some strenuous physical exercise, and then squared his shoulders. “I’ll show you the first sequence slowly and then I’ll sing along as you try it. Sound good?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do I do with my arms in this part, hyung?” Donghyuck stopped to look at Chenle, whose hands flapped uselessly at his hips as he watched his best friend perform the same move with effortless grace. Jisung glanced over a second later, jumping in to help Chenle before Donghyuck had the chance to speak.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Here, Chenle-yah,” he told the older boy confidently, lifting one of Chenle’s arms out at a ninety-degree angle, before splaying his fingers one by one. “Perfect.” Donghyuck felt Jaemin step up behind him, chin dropping onto his shoulder as they watched the youngest instructing Chenle like he’d been doing these moves for years. They all had, in truth, although this Jisung couldn't possibly have known that. This Jisung was just a very quick study, like his counterpart.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What was the line again, Donghyuck-hyung?” Jisung called over his shoulder, as casually as if he’d been talking to Jaemin. Donghyuck’s brows rose at the boy’s use of his name—saying nothing of his sudden application of an honorific—and he hesitated for a second before he opened his mouth, repeating the line for the third time in about as many minutes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His voice wasn't nearly as stable as it had been forty minutes ago, exhaustion slowly seeping into his bones, but he sang the line with as much enthusiasm as he could muster. Almost immediately, he heard Chenle echoing him with perfect pitch, the teenager’s own part in </span>
  <em>
    <span>Chewing Gum</span>
  </em>
  <span> sounding so reminiscent of the original that Donghyuck almost teared up on the spot. It had been a very long time since he’d heard Chenle sing this song like that, and it hit him hard.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That looks much better,” he called over to the pair, and Chenle flushed behind Jisung. The younger boy flashed Donghyuck a small smile, the first genuine smile to cross his face in response to anything Donghyuck had done since they’d met this time around, and the warmth in his chest grew.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was like the previously sullen teenager had transformed into an entirely different person over the course of their impromptu choreography tutorial. What had started as just him and Jaemin had quickly branched out to include the two freshmen, as Jisung had been unable to stay still at the prospect of learning a dance he didn't already know. Chenle had been a little more reluctant, but Jisung had helped him out, cooing like a proud mama bird whenever Chenle learnt a new move thanks to his help.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are we all ready to move on?” Donghyuck asked, when Jisung seemed satisfied that Chenle was all caught up. They both nodded and Jaemin squeezed him around the waist from behind, where he was still using him as a headrest, which Donghyuck took as agreement. He gently shoved the boy off him and placed a hand on either side of his hips, positioning himself so that he could see all three of them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This next part is a breakdown in the middle of the song, so it’s going to be a bit difficult to sing.” He glanced over at Jisung, who watched him with interest. He couldn't very well tell them that it was Jisung’s solo part, as thrilled as he knew the younger boy would be under different circumstances, so he figured he’d just teach it to all of them. He hoped he’d be able to remember it well enough; he’d never really had to pay close attention to this part in the past.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hang on.” They all paused, when Chenle held one hand up above his head, the other reaching out to shake Jisung’s forearm. “What time is it?” Jisung paled, almost gliding across the polished wood as he flew across the room towards his backpack. He pulled a small phone out of the side pocket, tapping the screen as Chenle hurried after him. “What time do we need to leave?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“About twenty minutes ago,” Jisung replied, shoulders slumping as he stared down at the phone in his hands. Donghyuck glanced over at Jaemin curiously, but the boy just shrugged. He clearly had no more idea what they were talking about than Donghyuck did. Jisung tapped the screen twice, then lifted the device to his ear. “Hyung, I’m—” He paused, listening to whoever was on the other end. Chenle hovered behind him, biting his thumb nervously, as Jisung seemed to pale even further.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I-I’m fine, hyung,” Jisung said quickly, nodding in response to words that no one else could hear. He turned his head slightly to the side, glancing over at Donghyuck and Jaemin, before nodding again. “I know, I’m sorry. We’re still in the dance studio.” Another pause, and then a sigh. “I’ll be right there.” He hung up and turned to Chenle, an apologetic frown on his lips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Now?” Chenle asked. Jisung nodded, then bent down to scoop up his possessions, stuffing everything he could reach into his gym bag haphazardly. Chenle hesitated for a second, then did the same, not seeming to worry about whose clothes ended up in which bag.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Everything okay, Jisungie?” Jaemin slipped around Donghyuck, making his way over to the pair. They both looked more than a little worried, and Jisung jumped at the sound of Jaemin’s voice as he approached. “What’s going on?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nothing.” As often happened in these situations, Donghyuck was starting to realise, Chenle was the one who answered. “Jisungie’s brother is picking us up and we forgot. He’s been waiting, and we’re really late.” He glanced over at Jisung again, who shook his head so quickly Donghyuck almost missed it. “We should go.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s fine,” Donghyuck said, smiling kindly at both of them. Inside, his mind was turning the situation over and over, trying to make sense of whatever it was that he was missing, but he didn't need to worry them any more right now than they already were. “Tell him it was my fault you were late. He’ll understand.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He will understand, right?” Jaemin asked, a hint of something bitter and harsh biting at his tone. “He’s not going to…” He trailed off but, from the horrified look on Jisung’s face in response, everyone caught his implication.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No!” Jisung spat out, shaking his head vehemently. “He’s not like that, I swear.” Jaemin examined Jisung’s face for a moment, looking for signs of a lie, but then he nodded and held out his arms. Jisung blew out a shaky breath he’d been holding in, stepping into Jaemin for a quick, fierce hug.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’d tell me if something was wrong, right?” Jaemin asked, easing back to look Jisung in the eye.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course, hyung.” Jisung stepped away from him and held a hand out to Chenle, who took it without hesitation. “I just don’t want to keep him waiting any longer, that's all.” He turned his attention to Donghyuck, who was still watching their exchange from across the large room. “Thanks for teaching us your choreography, hyung. Maybe, sometime, we could finish it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Any time,” Donghyuck agreed, walking towards the group as he spoke. Chenle dropped Jisung’s hand for a moment, letting the older boy pull him into a quick hug, then he allowed Jisung to lead him from the room. The older boys watched them go in silence, side by side, before Jaemin turned to Donghyuck and cocked an eyebrow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What the hell was that?” Donghyuck didn't think he could have put it any better himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have no idea, but I’m beginning to think Renj—” He stopped, flushing when Jaemin let out an irritated groan.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to be scared about using his name around me, Hyuck.” Donghyuck must not have looked convinced, because he continued. “I’m a big boy, and I’ll get over this eventually. Right now, those two,” he pointed a thumb towards the door, “are more important than my pity party.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” There was some truth to Jaemin’s words, but the way his jaw clenched at the very end made it clear to Donghyuck that it wasn't going to be quite that easy. However, Jaemin made an excellent point, and he was as concerned by what they had just seen as Donghyuck was. “Renjun mentioned the other week that he thought there was something odd going on with Chenle and Jisung. I've noticed it before myself too, although I wasn't sure. Now, I’m convinced Renjun was right. There’s something really weird going on here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do we do?” Jaemin asked. Donghyuck sighed and swiped a sweaty hand across his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have no idea.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hopefully, I'll get the climax of the 'Jisung is suspicious AF' saga finished tomorrow, so consider this your last chance to get your theories straight. There have been so many interesting ideas so far. Anyone got any other suggestions?</p><p>After that, Lucas can finally make his appearance. He's been waiting impatiently in the wings for a while now, so it's about time for him to get his moment in the spotlight. He might even drag a few other familiar faces out to play too.</p><p>As always, have a wonderful day! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0029"><h2>29. Chapter 29</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW: I've added two new tags, one for mentioned minor character death and one for implied past abuse/neglect of a minor. Neither are included in any graphic detail but, if either of those things is a particular trigger for you, please consider skipping this chapter.</p><p>Well, this is it, folks. Jisung gets a shit-ton of exposition, and two familiar faces finally make an appearance. This one was a really tough one to write and I almost scrapped the whole thing twice, but here it is. Enjoy...</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Injunie, are you even listening?” Twisting around in his chair, Donghyuck turned from the cardboard rectangle he had been painting to look over at his friend, who had stopped responding several minutes earlier. Greeted with the back of Renjun’s head, he sighed and answered his own question. “Of course you’re not listening. Why would you be?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun had an elbow on the desk in front of him, cheek propped up on his knuckles as he watched Jeno paint something that Donghyuck thought was meant to be a French flag. The younger boy had a look of utter concentration on his face, each stroke of the brush slow and deliberate, and Renjun was nodding approvingly as he supervised the process. Donghyuck couldn't see Renjun’s face from this angle, but he’d bet most of his worldly possessions that Renjun was sporting a proud smile as he watched Jeno work. It was almost sickeningly sweet to watch the pair grow closer each week, their interactions so goddamn adorable that it felt like a drama playing out in front of his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you done with that?” He jumped a little as a female voice sounded in his ear, twisting around in the opposite direction to see one of the senior girls, Dahyun, standing over him. She pointed towards one of the large collection of paints he had accumulated on his desk over the past half hour, and he nodded. He wasn't sure exactly which one she wanted, but he was almost done with his piece at this point. She thanked him, retrieving a tube of bright red gloss paint with a grateful smile, and headed back to her seat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck stared down at the rapidly drying artwork in front of him, then glanced across at Renjun and Jeno again. He had grown to enjoy these after school painting sessions over the past few weeks, both because he found them therapeutic and because he’d been able to spend some quality time with Renjun, but he couldn't help but visualise the mountain of homework and script learning he had barely made a dent in yet. He wondered, as he stood up and carefully carried his cardboard canvas over to the drying rack in the corner, whether Renjun would mind if he stopped coming for a while. It wasn't as though he needed Donghyuck here, with Jeno keeping him entertained, and he was sure he could find another Renjun-shaped chunk of time in his schedule somewhere else.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yo, bro.” A loud slapping sound perforated the silence, causing half the heads in the room to snap up and across to the door, before Donghyuck registered that the words had been spoken in lightly accented English. Lifting the racking back into place as quickly as he dared, taking care not to jostle any of the artwork already held inside, he turned to see that they had a new, unexpected visitor in the previously tranquil creative space.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, man,” Jeno said, dropping his brush onto the table and pushing up out of his seat to allow Lucas to pull him into a back-slapping bear hug. Renjun gasped and lunged forward, barely managing to stop the blue-stained bristles from touching the completed red section of the flag, and Jeno cringed apologetically as Lucas let him go. “Sorry, Renjun-ah.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine,” Renjun insisted, smiling up at Jeno and his teammate. Lucas—or Yukhei, as Donghyuck knew he ought to be referring to the boy—shoved Jeno aside playfully and dropped down into his vacated seat, shoving out a hand to the other, startled boy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi there,” he said quickly, wiggling his fingers until Renjun accepted the proffered hand and allowed Yukhei to shake his enthusiastically. “I’m Jeno’s friend. Nice to meet you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wong Yukhei,” Renjun interjected, pulling his fingers free from Yukhei’s large hand. He glanced down at his palm for a moment, before returning his attention to the older boy’s face. “I know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ve talked about me?” Yukhei reached up and slapped Jeno on the forearm. Jeno winced, shaking his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not even once.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” Yukhei actually seemed a little sad at the prospect that he hadn't been a major topic of conversation, although Donghyuck couldn't imagine why. Eager not to interrupt the moment, but keenly aware that he couldn't stand by the drying rack for the rest of his life, Donghyuck started to walk quietly back to his desk, never taking his eyes from the scene playing out before him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Most of the room seemed to have quickly adapted to Yukhei’s larger-than-life presence barrelling into the art studio, but a few students were still stealing furtive glances in his direction. They’d eventually gotten used to Jeno being here, although he’d overheard several whispered debates during that first session about the reason for his attendance, but Yukhei was a new phenomenon. Donghyuck imagined he’d probably be hearing about this moment for several weeks to come.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s nice to meet you too,” Renjun said shyly, when Yukhei’s smile didn't immediately return. Blinking up at Jeno, he shot the boy a meaningful look. “I’m sure he was just saving the best for last, right?” Fortunately for Jeno, he figured out what Renjun was trying to do quickly, nodding as Yukhei stared up at him questioningly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Absolutely.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yukhei paused for a moment, gaze flicking from his friend to Renjun and back, and then he shrugged. “Cool.” He visibly brightened, a wide smile brimming on his expressive face, and then he stood and hooked an arm around Jeno’s neck. “So this is where you’ve been disappearing off to on Monday afternoons, huh? I get it now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Jeno admitted. Donghyuck slid into his seat next to Renjun and picked up a paintbrush, trying not to draw attention to himself as he pretended to paint—well, the table, he guessed, since he no longer had a canvas in front of him. He hoped no one would notice, as he watched the trio out of the corner of his eye and tried to look busy. “Renjun has been teaching me how to paint.” When Yukhei’s brows rose in disbelief, jaw dropping open slightly, Jeno grinned and continued. “It’s super basic, like that,” he pointed to the half-finished flag, “but I’m working on it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s doing great,” Renjun offered, and Yukhei grinned down at him. He slapped Jeno on the arm again, a move that Donghyuck knew Lucas often used to express affection back home, and puffed out his chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course he is. My guy here is good at everything.” Jeno flushed a little, his eyes crinkling as he broke into an embarrassed smile, but Renjun nodded earnestly. His unwavering support of Jeno’s fledgeling artistic career was a testament to his patience and his admiration for the boy, because Jeno was not good at art. At all. He was doing well enough, under strict guidance, but Renjun ended up fixing as many mistakes as he prevented. If he didn't like Jeno as much as he did, he would have given up on the boy weeks ago.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not that I’m not always happy to see you, hyung,” Jeno said, slipping out from under Yukhei’s arm so that he could reclaim his seat next to Renjun. He pushed the chair back from the desk, spinning it so that it faced the back of the room and straddled it, staring up at the tall boy hovering above them. “But why are you here?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh!” Yukhei seemed to suddenly remember something important, snapping his fingers twice in front of Jeno’s face as he spoke. “I got distracted by all the art stuff, but I wanted to know if you were coming on Saturday night.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At his words, Jeno’s lips pressed together and he frowned. “What’s on Saturday?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That party I told you about, bro. You need to come!” His use of relatively simplistic Korean, interspersed with random snippets of English, reminded Donghyuck so much of the Lucas he’d grown up with, back when the boy had first joined SM as a teenager. This Yukhei had been in Korea a little longer, at least according to what Renjun thought he knew of the other international students, but he was clearly still learning. It had been overwhelmingly endearing the first time around, and nothing much had changed in that respect.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know, man.” Jeno sounded hesitant, and his gaze flicked over to Renjun, who was watching the exchange with interest. “I’m not—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You should bring Renjun-ssi,” Yukhei insisted, noticing the cause of his friend’s hesitation. “My boyfriend and his friends will all be there. It’ll be fun.” Renjun looked to Jeno, the younger boy looking like he was struggling to make a decision. Yukhei grinned, then leant down towards the pair conspiratorially. “Jeno-yah, it would make a great first d—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No!” Jeno jumped up from his seat, almost tackling Yukhei to the floor as he slapped a hand over the older boy’s mouth. Several students in the row in front jumped as his chair toppled over, smacking loudly against the tiled floor, and Renjun gasped in surprise. Recovering his composure, Jeno seemed to realise he’d just made a scene and grimaced apologetically at each of the faces now trained on them. “I mean, yes. We’ll be there.” He paused, focusing on the shocked boy about to accidentally smudge a wet French flag with his shirt sleeve. “I—If you want to, Renjun-ah.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I—” For the first time since they’d started painting almost an hour ago, Renjun glanced over at Donghyuck, the tension in his shoulders easing considerably when he realised that Donghyuck was already watching the whole exchange intently. His wide eyes pleaded with Donghyuck to help him. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You could bring Hyuck with you,” Jeno said quickly, sensing Renjun’s unease. “And your other friend, if you want. The, uh, one from the social the other week.” Both he and Renjun grimaced at the thought of Jaemin joining them, but Renjun eyed Donghyuck like he was a life-preserver in an ocean of choices that he didn't want to make.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who’s Hyuck?” Yukhei asked suddenly. A chuckle escaped Donghyuck’s lips and he waved at the tall senior boy, who waved back after a half-second.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m Hyuck,” he offered. Yukhei seemed temporarily at a loss for words, something Donghyuck knew from experience probably didn't happen to him often, so he took pity on the boy. “Lee Donghyuck. Nice to meet you.” Yukhei didn't try to shake his hand, but he did keep waving long after Donghyuck lowered his hand. He wasn't sure what that meant, but he hoped it meant that Yukhei liked him at least a little bit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Would you come, Hyuckie?” Renjun didn't sound like he particularly wanted to go, but his eyes seemed to be urging Donghyuck to agree. He wondered how much of Renjun’s thought process was currently focused on the prospect of spending time with Jeno on a day other than Monday, and then realised that it didn't really matter. If Renjun needed him to go—if that would help him to feel comfortable—he’d do it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure.” He turned his attention to Yukhei, who was now watching him thoughtfully. “If that’s okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The more the merrier,” was his response, another indomitable smile splitting his lips and exposing his teeth. Yukhei already looked young in this universe, as all of them did, but the senior boy looked younger than Donghyuck had ever seen him just then. He clapped a hand down on Jeno’s shoulder and squeezed. “I’ll send you the address and you can pass it on, yeah?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jeno nodded, looking dazed but more than a little elated at how things had played out. “Sounds good.” He started to say something else to Yukhei, but Renjun chose that moment to slide his chair closer to Donghyuck and pull him into a side hug.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Hyuckie,” he murmured, pressing his forehead to Donghyuck’s arm. Donghyuck grunted in acknowledgement, not needing to speak. They fell silent for a few seconds, then Renjun lifted his head to look at his friend. “Do you think Jeno noticed me panicking?” Donghyuck just laughed, not bothering to answer, even when Renjun poked him and insisted that he explain himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He did know for sure if Jeno had noticed, but he was pretty sure it didn't matter. If Jeno was willing to let Donghyuck—and even Jaemin—crash what was blatantly a precursor to a date, just so Renjun didn't feel uncomfortable, he very much doubted the boy would mind him freaking out a little bit before he’d agreed to go. He knew Renjun wouldn't see it that way, since he tended to see all things Renjun through a pretty brutal self-doubt filter, but Donghyuck was pretty sure Jeno was half in love with him already. After all, he’d be crazy not to be.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That Thursday afternoon, instead of the separate dance and drama rehearsals that had been running concurrently, the whole ensemble gathered in the auditorium after school for a first full run-through of Act 1. All of the principal cast still carried their thick scores, Donghyuck included, and the dancers were still following Soonyoung’s cues from his spot in the front row of seating, but it was useful to spend time on the stage as a full cast, blocking out movements and stitching individual scenes together, piece by piece.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was also the first time that Renjun and Jaemin had been in the same room, without it being during a class, in nearly three weeks. Donghyuck was told off several times by Dejun, or by one of his fellow cast members, because he was too busy watching them sneaking sad, wistful glances at each other. Even Chenle had commented on it eventually, when Donghyuck nearly tripped off the front of the stage, which hadn’t been his finest moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun didn't strictly even need to be there, but Donghyuck thought the fact that he stayed and watched the whole show spoke volumes—even if he did remember later on that he’d promised to give Renjun a ride home afterwards. More than once, when he wasn't in the middle of a scene, he fought the urge to grab both of his friends and drag them into a locked supply cupboard to sort out their issues, but he hoped the fact that they were both here was a step in the right direction.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d also made it his mission to keep an eye on Chenle and Jisung throughout the practice, and he knew both Renjun and Jaemin were doing the same. He’d had to act as a middle man for his friends, but Renjun was aware of the weirdness they’d observed in the dance studio, and had agreed that it was worth keeping a close eye on. So far, they’d done nothing more suspicious than play on Jisung’s phone in the wings, when they weren’t needed on stage, but Donghyuck was determined not to miss any signs of trouble. He didn't know much about these two in this reality, but they were his dongsaengs and he wasn't about to ignore it if something concerning—or maybe even dangerous—was going on with one or both of them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyuck-ah?” Jaemin nudged him in the ribs as he dropped into a seat beside the younger boy. He’d finished his last scene in this half of the act, and he knew he wouldn’t be needed for a while, so he grabbed his water bottle from the floor at Jaemin’s feet and popped the cap.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” As he spoke, Renjun slid into place on his other side, chair legs scraping softly against the floorboards. He pointedly refused to outwardly acknowledge Jaemin’s existence, but both of them gravitated towards Donghyuck whenever he took a break, not wanting to be left out. It was a bizarre dance that the two were engaged in, and Renjun didn't say anything as he sat down, but Donghyuck knew he was listening in on their conversation anyway.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you see where the kids went?” Donghyuck’s head snapped up, searching out the spot in the wings when he’d last seen the two freshmen. It was empty now, and he frowned as he scanned the stage for familiar faces. When it became clear that they were nowhere to be seen, he turned his attention back to Jaemin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you see them leave?” Jaemin shook his head. Donghyuck glanced over to Renjun, who echoed the motion in answer to his unspoken question. Standing, Donghyuck turned a full three-sixty, examining the students milling about in the rest of the auditorium. When he didn't see either of them, he sighed. “They’re definitely not here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe they left?” Renjun spoke for the first time, leaning forward in his chair. He angled his knees towards Donghyuck, risking Jaemin-exposure, but he’d clearly decided that it was worth the risk to watch out for the maknaes. Renjun’s face screwed up in thought for a moment, then he tapped Donghyuck’s knee twice. “Surely they would have told Dejun-hyung if they were leaving.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s...actually smart,” Jaemin muttered from Donghyuck’s other side, too quietly for Renjun to hear, and Donghyuck couldn't help but agree with him. He was surprised that Chenle would have left without telling him, and the same with Jisung and Jaemin, but surely they wouldn't have left without telling </span>
  <em>
    <span>someone</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Dejun was the obvious choice, as the de facto director and orchestrator of this rehearsal.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be right back,” Donghyuck told them both, spotting Dejun taking a rare break beside Yang Yang at the edge of the stage, their legs dangling in the air as they talked. He hurried over, leaving the other two boys to continue stoically ignoring each other, and attracted Dejun’s attention with a wave. Five minutes later, he was sliding back into his seat with an answer that only stirred up more questions. “He said that they had some mixup to do with rides home, and they needed to leave early.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That isn't helpful,” Jaemin interjected. “What does that even mean?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It means that they’re being deliberately vague, as usual.” For a moment after Renjun spoke, voice small and inconspicuous against the hum of noise around them, neither Jaemin nor Donghyuck moved. Jaemin appeared to have been struck dumb at the sound of his voice, and Donghyuck was just shocked that he’d directly addressed Jaemin at all. Renjun cleared his throat awkwardly, rubbing at the nape of his neck with one hand, and Donghyuck forced himself out of his own thoughts.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re right,” he agreed, “but it doesn’t change the fact that there’s not much we can do about it now.” Renjun hummed and Jaemin nodded, their words apparently all used up for the time being, and Donghyuck sighed. The truce had been good for the five seconds it had lasted but, now, he was left with a swarm of thoughts and concerns that he didn't know what to do with.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Half an hour later, Dejun declared the rehearsal finished for the day and most of the gathered students made an immediate rush for the exit. Donghyuck and his friends stuck around for a few minutes afterwards, helping the seniors to clear up and collect the discarded scripts and notes that had been left behind. Eventually, though, he was walking through the halls towards the lobby, flanked on either side by Jaemin and Renjun.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you going to get home okay, Jaemin-ah?” Donghyuck asked, as they reached the main entryway and joined the short queue of students that filed through the double doors out into the parking lot. Despite the oddly neutral attitude both boys seemed to have adopted towards each other during the latter part of the rehearsal—especially after Chenle and Jisung had disappeared—Donghyuck knew that wouldn't also extend to a harmonious car ride for all three of them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I already asked Jinyoung,” Jaemin said, pointing to a boy up ahead of them that Donghyuck recognised from their homeroom class. “He’s going my way already.” Donghyuck felt a little bad that he had to choose which one of his friends he was going to give a ride to, especially since it was unofficially Jaemin’s day on his schedule, but Jaemin didn't seem especially upset as he said goodbye and followed the boy over to a car on the far side of the mostly empty parking lot.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m really not looking forward to starting our new literature assignment,” Donghyuck told Renjun as they took the path in the opposite direction, towards where Donghyuck’s car waited beside the neatly pruned tree that he often parked next to. “It looks like a lot of work.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can help y—” Renjun broke off, squinting against the low light cast by the setting sun. Donghyuck followed his line of sight, gaze landing on two familiar figures perched on a bench on the grass near the tree. “Chenle-yah?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jisung had his head on Chenle’s shoulder, as the older boy swiped at the glowing screen of his phone like his life depended on it. Chenle’s lips were moving, although they were too far away for him to hear what the boy was saying. At the sound of Renjun’s voice, Jisung pushed up off his friend and leapt to his feet, stance immediately becoming wary and defensive.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s just us, Jisung-ah,” Donghyuck called to him, and Chenle rose to stand beside the younger boy. He still held his phone up to his chest, but it had been temporarily forgotten as the pair stared at the 11th-graders and tried not to look like they had been surprised by their arrival. Jisung let his arms fall to his sides, instead of raised in front of his body like he was ready to fight someone to protect Chenle, but the set of his shoulders was still tense and his muscles were tightly coiled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why are you two out here?” Donghyuck asked, as he and Renjun joined them next to the tree. Donghyuck’s car was just a few paces from their bench, and Donghyuck was suddenly grateful he’d be able to snag this spot that morning. If he’d been late, he’d have been on the other side of the parking lot, and he might never have spotted them here. “Dejun-hyung said you went home nearly an hour ago.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We—” Chenle started to answer, but then he broke off, looking to Jisung as though asking for permission. When the younger boy didn't speak, he continued cautiously. “We were meant to get a ride with my mom today after school.” Jisung nodded. “She usually comes at five fifteen, so we had to leave early.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck glanced down at Renjun’s wrist, the other boy lifting it automatically so that Donghyuck could see the watch face it housed. It was well past six now. “That doesn't explain why you’re both still here. Did she not turn up?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s my fault,” Chenle said quickly, raising his hand like he was offering an answer in class. Under other circumstances, Donghyuck would have found that cute, but the solemn expression on his face gave him pause. “I forgot that I told my mom I was getting a ride with Jisung today, because I’m staying over at his house. I got the days mixed up, and she’s working late tonight. Jisung tried to call both of his brothers, but neither of them picked up.” He let out a low, pained groan, and Jisung patted his arm.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not your fault, LeLe.” Chenle didn't seem particularly mollified, but he took the hand that Jisung offered anyway.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So you’re stuck here without a ride home, is that right?” Donghyuck clarified, and both of them nodded. Renjun frowned, to his left, but didn't interject. He didn't need to. Donghyuck imagined that they shared a very similar train of thought right about now. He glanced from the boys to his car and back. “I’m already taking Renjun home, so I can give you both a ride, if you want.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t—” Chenle started to say, but Jisung stopped him with a squeeze of his fingers. He turned away from the two older boys, crowding Chenle as he muttered something low in his throat that Donghyuck couldn't make out. Chenle hesitated. “Are you sure, Jisungie?” Again, Donghyuck couldn't make out Jisung’s response, but then Jisung was turning around, fixing first him and then Renjun with a keen, calculating gaze. His expression was carefully neutral, but there was a vulnerability there that made Donghyuck want to wrap him up into his arms and never let go.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” One word, spoken so softly that he wouldn’t have understood if he hadn't been watching the boy’s face closely. Donghyuck smiled and he could have sworn that Jisung returned it for a brief moment, before it was gone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let’s get going then,” Donghyuck said, addressing all three of them. Leading them over to his car, he shifted a few things around in the backseat so that the two freshmen could fit both themselves and their bags into the small space. Renjun took his usual spot in the front, fiddling with the radio before Donghyuck had even made it to the driver’s door, and then they were pulling out onto the main road out of town.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where am I taking you two?” Donghyuck asked after a few minutes, when the silence became too uncomfortable to stomach. It was always easy with Renjun or Jaemin in the car, squabbling over the radio or discussing school and Renjun’s ever-evolving multiverse theories, but this was a dead stillness that felt wholly unnatural. Everyone in the car knew that something wasn't quite right with the current scenario, but no one was addressing the massive elephant perched on the pile of backpacks wedged between Chenle and Jisung in the back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can put the address into the sat-nav, if you want,” Renjun offered, waving his phone in the air. “Do you know it?” In the rearview mirror, Donghyuck saw the younger boys exchange another loaded glance, before Jisung responded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can I just direct you?” It didn't matter to Donghyuck one way or the other, and he told Jisung as much, so the boy started to give him sporadic instructions, guiding them into a housing estate a few miles from Renjun’s house. A few minutes later, Jisung pointed out a spot on the kerb at the side of the road and Donghyuck pulled over, turning off the engine. Peering out through the windshield, he frowned as he saw a flickering sign overhead. There were a few houses in the distance, a short walk down the street, but they had stopped well short of them. The light was quickly fading too, leaving the illuminated sign above him the only thing lit up in both directions.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure this is the right place, Jisung-ah?” Renjun twisted around in his seat to look at the boy sitting directly behind him. Jisung nodded, reaching out to unlock the door nearest to him, but Donghyuck held up a hand to stop him in his tracks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jisung, this is a bus stop.” The boy froze, fingers curled loosely around the latch in the door. He didn't turn back around to look at Donghyuck, but the older boy could see the way Jisung’s body shook as he watched him through the angled mirror above him. “Jisung-ssi. This—this is a bus stop.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>From one heartbeat to the next, Donghyuck witnessed the small boy in his backseat completely cave in on himself, dragging his knees up to his chest as his arms wrapped themselves around his slim frame. There was a soft thud as his forehead dropped onto his bicep, and then Chenle was unlatching his seatbelt to crawl across the car towards him. Jisung sniffled once, then allowed Chenle to pull him in close, until the two of them were a tangle of limbs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What now?” Renjun hissed, making eye contact with Donghyuck across the central console. A bitter sob punctured the silence and Donghyuck’s gaze flicked back to the mirror quickly. He could no longer see Jisung’s face, concealed as it was by Chenle’s hair, but it was clear that he was crying. He spread his arms wide as he focused back on Renjun, in the universe gesture for </span>
  <em>
    <span>how the hell should I know,</span>
  </em>
  <span> and Renjun scrubbed a palm over his face wearily.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chenle-yah?” Donghyuck said ten minutes later, when it became clear that Jisung wasn't going to pull himself together any time soon. The boy in question lifted his chin from Jisung’s hair and side-eyed Donghyuck, letting him know that he was listening. “Do you think maybe you could explain what’s going on?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn't want to pressure Jisung, especially not when the boy was so obviously distressed over whatever it was he was dealing with, but there was no way he was about to leave two teenage boys at a random bus stop on the side of the road in the dark without a whole lot of answers first. Chenle’s eyes were a little red, but he seemed to be coping far better than Jisung. Donghyuck hoped that meant that he could be persuaded to talk to them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I would, hyung, but it’s not my story to tell.” Chenle sounded so helpless in that moment, like he wanted nothing more than to spill his deepest, darkest secrets but was being prevented from doing so.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We can help,” Renjun told him. Chenle stared at the older boy, bottom lip quaking like he wanted to cry too, but he shook his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t. I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I trust them.” Silence fell again, as Jisung swiped his sleeve across his eyes and lifted his head, meeting Renjun’s gaze head-on. His eyes were leaking tears still, fat beads of moisture rolling unhindered down both cheeks, but there was a resolve in the set of his jaw that hadn't been there before. “I don’t know why, but I think we can trust them.” He paused, staring down Donghyuck without blinking. “Jaemin-hyung does.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I trust Donghyuck-hyung too,” Chenle admitted, reaching a finger out to wipe away a tear from the corner of Jisung’s mouth. “And Renjun-hyung is really smart.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure about that,” Renjun said, the barest hint of a smile curling his lip up at the corner, “but I meant what I said. Whatever it is, I’m sure we can help.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I believe you.” Jisung reached for Chenle’s hand, sliding his fingers in between the other boy’s, and then took a deep, steadying breath. “What do you want to know?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was a very good question, Donghyuck thought. He wanted to ask for the whole story, but he suspected that would overwhelm Jisung. They needed to choose their words carefully, so that they didn't spook him and make him clam up again. It was a miracle that he was willing to open up at all, and he wasn't entirely sure what had changed to cause him to make that decision, but he didn't want to risk undoing any of their progress thus far.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let’s start with the bus stop,” Donghyuck said, when Renjun sent him a look that said that the older boy would defer to him when it came to questions. “You don’t live around here, do you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No.” It was an obvious answer, one that Donghyuck had already figured out for himself at this point, but it was an easy place to start for the freshman. “I mean, I used to.” Jisung pointed up the street in front of them, through the windshield. “My dad’s house is just up there around the bend, but I haven’t lived there in nearly two years.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why did you direct me here then?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When you offered us a ride, everything happened so quickly. I panicked and led you here, without thinking about what we would do when we got here.” Jisung glanced over at Chenle, who squeezed his hand tighter. “I saw the bus stop and it seemed like a good idea to get you to stop here. We would get out and wait for a bus, then figure out how to get home from there.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As if it had been waiting for its cue, a small, local bus turned onto the street up ahead, quickly passing them by on the opposite side of the road. It didn't stop, despite a similar bus stop sign blinking atop a pole on that side, and Donghyuck wondered how often busses actually stopped here.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you know what bus number you would need to get?” he asked. Jisung shook his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve only been on a bus once before, with my mom, before she—” He broke off again, and Donghyuck realised half a beat too late that he needed to change the subject.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where do you live now then?” Jisung’s eyes welled up with tears again, but he swiped them away and sniffled loudly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“With my brothers.” He coughed, the sound wet and unpleasant, and Chenle handed him a tissue that he’d somehow produced out of nowhere. Jisung blew his nose, then met Donghyuck’s eye again. “They’re both students at the university. They—well, only one of them is my real brother, but it doesn’t matter to me. They live way off-campus, so it’s not too far for one of them to take me to school in the mornings and get back in time for class, but it’s over two hours on the bus.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you think you can direct me there at night?” Donghyuck asked, turning the key and urging the engine to life again. Jisung’s eyes widened and he shook his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t ask you to do that. It’s too far.” Donghyuck just fixed him with a no-nonsense stare, refusing to back down, and Jisung sighed. “Hyung made me memorise it when we moved, just in case. I can show you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For a few minutes, Donghyuck focused on navigating back out of the sprawling maze of houses and side streets, with Jisung’s help, until they were back on the main road again. Renjun hadn't spoken up when Donghyuck had made his offer, so he assumed that the older boy didn't mind coming along for the journey. He knew that both he and Jaemin were as invested in Jisung and Chenle’s wellbeing as he was at this point, so he suspected he’d have to physically eject Renjun from his car to make him leave.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, Jisung-ah,” he started again, once they were clear of Neo City and following signs for the next town over. There were very few cars on the highway at this hour on a Thursday, and night had fully set in now, so he felt comfortable to shift most of his focus back onto Jisung. “I get why you took us to the bus stop, as unwise as that idea was, but I don't understand why you didn't just tell us what was going on. Is everything okay at home?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Home is great,” Jisung told him, stressing the last word like his life depended on it. “I love living with my brothers, but the school doesn’t know about it. My record says I still live with my dad, a—and my mom.” Donghyuck’s brows drew together as he considered Jisung’s words. He’d thought, from what the boy had said earlier, that Jisung’s mom had passed away or left, but that didn't correlate with this new information.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your brother doesn't have custody?” Again, Jisung shook his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No. Three years ago, my mom got sick. For a while, our dad helped hyung to look after me, so she could rest, but then she got worse.” Jisung’s voice started to wobble again, but he took another deep breath. Chenle hadn't let go of his hand once, and Jisung leaned into his friend. “When she got worse, so did he. He started to—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did he hurt you?” Renjun asked, speaking for the first time in a long while. Jisung’s gaze snapped to his face and he shook his head again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not me.” He didn't elaborate, and Renjun didn't ask. “When hyung got accepted to university, he lived at home to start with, but all the travel was too hard on him. He wanted to move into the dorms, but then he would have had to leave me behind. He almost dropped out in his second year, because he was afraid of what would happen with dad after he was gone.” He smiled then, although the gesture was weak and superficial. “He and his best friend found a house off-campus, and they took me with them. The landlord doesn’t know that I live there and, if anyone at school found out, they’d send me back to live with my dad.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not going to tell anyone,” Donghyuck told him firmly, when Jisung’s breath hitched in his chest. Renjun echoed his statement and Jisung nodded, although it didn't seem to have appeased him any. Donghyuck could understand how he must feel, although he had never experienced anything even close to this. To worry that, at any moment, you could be ripped from your home and taken to live with someone you fear—and Jisung did fear his father, that much was unmistakable—must be terrible.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Jisung admitted. “Hyung warned me not to tell anyone, but I trust you. You’re both so nice, even when I was rude to you.” The end of the sentence was directed at Donghyuck, who shrugged it off with a wave of his hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You didn't know me. It’s fine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jisung had to start issuing more frequent directions then, as they left the highway and entered a small town that Donghyuck estimated was about halfway between the high school and the university. It wasn't ideally situated for either, in truth, but he guessed that it was the best option for someone with few alternatives. Jisung had to go to school, and his brothers needed to attend classes. It made sense.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What happened to your mom?” Donghyuck didn't want to ask, as it was clearly a sore subject for Jisung, but there was something about this that still bothered him. “You said that the school thinks you live with her too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She—” After a couple of false starts and another tissue from Chenle, Jisung managed to string together a full sentence. “She died the summer before my second year of middle school. One day she was there and, the next, she was gone. I woke up one day, and she just wasn't there anymore.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Donghyuck mumbled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks.” Jisung sniffled again. “I don’t know exactly what happened, because my brother doesn’t like to talk about it, but my school records were never updated. Dad never told anyone, and nobody ever asked. It was like she was still there, but she wasn't. It was awful.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s the next turn on the left,” Chenle offered helpfully, as Jisung curled into his lap and started to sob again. Donghyuck blinked away a sheen of moisture from his own eyes, trying to stay focused on the road, and a soft intake of breath from the passenger seat let him know that he wasn't the only one affected by Jisung’s story.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A sudden noise made Donghyuck jump, as the sound of a phone ringing ricocheted off the windows of the car. Renjun patted at his pocket in confusion and Chenle started to reach for his bag, but then Jisung pulled his phone out of his breast pocket and lifted it to his ear. “Hyung?” A voice started speaking quickly on the other end, the words too muffled for anyone else to make out much of note, but Jisung answered just as rapidly. “I’m okay, hyung, don’t worry. I got a lift from someone at school, and we’re nearly there.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Five minutes,” Chenle said, and Jisung repeated it into the mouthpiece.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I promise I’m okay,” he said after another burst of activity through the receiver. He paused, listening intently. “I love you too.” After a few more back and forths, mostly repeating that affirmation over again, he finally hung up and tucked the phone away. In the meantime, Chenle had continued with the directions, remembering enough to guide Donghyuck the last few miles, and then they were pulling up on the curb outside a small apartment block in a quiet neighbourhood.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your brothers are very protective, aren’t they?” Donghyuck asked, as he turned off the engine for what he hoped would be the penultimate time that night. “It’s really sweet of them.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They can be a bit overprotective,” Jisung admitted with a shrug, trying to use the remains of Chenle’s tissue to clean up his blotchy cheeks. He was fighting a losing battle, Donghyuck thought, but he didn't think Jisung wanted his brothers to see that he’d been crying. “They’re worried about what might happen if anyone finds out the truth.” Chenle held a hand out for the tissue and Jisung gave it to him. “So am I.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I won’t tell anyone, Jisung-ah,” Donghyuck repeated, wanting to make sure that Jisung knew that he meant every word. “I promise.” Little did this boy know, Donghyuck was just about the last person on earth—aside from maybe the brothers waiting for him at home—he had to be concerned about. He’d do just about anything to make sure Jisung was safe, and keeping a secret that protected him from harm was a minuscule price to pay.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyung is waiting for us,” Chenle said then, pointing to the apartment block through Renjun’s window. There was a figure silhouetted in the entryway, tall and slim but largely concealed by shadows on all sides. Jisung followed his finger, and then pulled at his seat belt, unlatching it and launching himself out of the car so fast he almost ate concrete. Then he was running, meeting the figure halfway up the short path to the building, disappearing into the taller man’s shadow as he was wrapped up in a tight hug.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck glanced at Renjun, who already had his belt off and his hand on the door, before he did the same. Chenle hopped out a few seconds after he did, struggling as he tried to carry both his and Jisung’s bags. Renjun scooped one of them up for him, not caring which one at this point, and they followed Chenle the short distance to where Jisung stood with his brother.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chenle-yah,” the man called, as soon as Chenle was close enough for him to see the small boy clearly. He held one arm out, the other already occupied with Jisung, and Chenle stepped in for a quick hug. Then he turned his attention to the two older boys, standing awkwardly to one side of the path, watching their interaction in silence. Donghyuck’s eyes widened a little as the man turned to face them, and the planes of his handsome face were illuminated by the streetlight high above them, but he didn't say anything. It wasn't the right time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you so much for bringing my brother and Chenle home.” His eyes were serious and his gaze was cold, but there was genuine gratitude in his expression as he thanked them. His gaze fell to the top of Jisung’s head again and an affectionate smile spread across his lips, softening his features. “I’m so sorry I didn't pick up your call, Sungie.” He ruffled Jisung’s hair and the boy practically purred. “I don’t know how I can repay you two for driving him all the way out here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It was no trouble,” Renjun said, speaking for both of them. Donghyuck didn't mind, because he would have said the exact same thing. “I’d be happy to bring him home again in the future, if you ever need me to, and I’m sure Hyuck would agree with me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Definitely!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” the man said softly, one hand still gently stroking Jisung’s hair. “Hopefully that won’t be necessary. He has me and his brother...and their parents.” The discomfort with which he said the last three words was palpable, but Jisung lifted his head to meet his eye before the man could continue.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They know.” The man stiffened and his hand ceased its movement against Jisung’s scalp, but the boy pressed on regardless. “Don’t worry, hyung. I trust them.” It wasn't the first, or even the second time Jisung had said those words tonight, but Donghyuck was suddenly struck by the weight of them. He wasn't sure what he’d done to earn that trust, and he felt wholly inadequate, but he’d do everything he could to live up to it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“In that case, I hope they understand the importance of secrecy,” the man said, eyeing Donghyuck and Renjun with a heavy, analysing stare. He didn't have any reason to trust them, other than the word of the boy in his arms, but he would hold them to the promises they’d made to Jisung in the car. Donghyuck knew that as intuitively as he knew that the sun would rise again tomorrow morning.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We do.” The unusual exchange completed, the man took Jisung and Chenle inside without another word, and the older boys headed back to the car. Chenle hadn't hugged him goodbye, and Donghyuck found that he missed it, but he’d forgive him this time. It had been a long evening, and he and Renjun needed to get home.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyuck?” Renjun asked, as they buckled their seatbelts and Donghyuck programmed Renjun’s address into the sat nav on his phone. Without Chenle and Jisung to guide them, they would easily get lost without artificial intelligence on their side.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you know who that was? I can’t be sure, but it looked like you recognised him.” So much for being subtle, Donghyuck thought wryly. He’d tried not to react when he’d seen who Jisung’s brother was but, clearly, he hadn’t been subtle enough for Renjun.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I did.” He stared out of the windshield, up at the lights illuminating many of the windows in the apartment building for a moment, wondering which one of them might be Jisung’s room. “That was WinWin-hyung.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>All I'm going to say here is thank you so much for reading and, if you have any thoughts or questions, I'd love to hear them.</p><p>As always, have a wonderful day! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0030"><h2>30. Chapter 30</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>PSA: We’ll be back with your regularly scheduled wholesome JiChen content soon. In the meantime, please enjoy a spot of light RenMin machinating and then the first half of a completely uneventful, 100% unremarkable frat party… ;) Enjoy...</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The first clue that something was up should probably have been the change in the seating plan, as Donghyuck arrived in homeroom on Friday morning to find his new seat next to Renjun already occupied by its original owner. He would later blame it on the late-night drive the evening before, or on the mental strain of discovering the truth about Jisung and Chenle, but, if he was honest, the truth lay more in the fact that he’d visualised this exact moment so many times in his head that, when it finally happened, it didn't register immediately.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The second clue should have been the way that Renjun froze in surprise as he entered the room, eyes immediately landing on the boy who had taken up residence at the desk next to his for the first time in weeks. He paused in the doorway, just long enough to hold up the other students trying to enter behind him, before he walked calmly to his desk and sat down, not daring to glance over at the boy beside him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn't until Donghyuck saw Jaemin turn to face Renjun, a placid smile firmly in place as he spoke loudly enough for the room to hear, that he realised that something in the equilibrium of his current reality had shifted yet again. “Good morning, Renjun-ah,” Jaemin said pleasantly, sounding for all the world like he did this every single day. Donghyuck couldn't see Renjun’s face, angled as the older boy was towards the front of the room, but the curious looks thrown their way from the students on either side of them told him more than enough.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“M-morning, Jaemin,” Renjun replied. He might have said more, but the teacher chose that moment to arrive and start the school day. Donghyuck watched the pair closely throughout the class, but neither boy made any other moves to engage each other. He might have even believed it was a fever dream, a feat that would have honestly made more sense than the scene playing out before his eyes, if Renjun hadn't cornered him in the corridor outside before their next class.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What was that?” Renjun hissed, fingers clamping down on Donghyuck’s arm like a vice. He stared up at his friend, eyes searching Donghyuck’s face like he might somehow hold the answer to Jaemin’s sudden, unexpected personality switch. “You saw that too, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” Donghyuck finally managed to say, pulling his arm free from the older boy’s surprisingly strong grip. He thought for a moment, Renjun still watching him expectantly, but no logical explanations jumped to mind. “This is what you wanted though, right? You wanted things to go back to normal, so maybe Jaemin wants that too now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In truth, Donghyuck had absolutely no idea what Jaemin was up to, but it was as good a guess as any. “What do I do?” Renjun sounded almost panicked, so Donghyuck patted him reassuringly on the arm as he guided them both down the crowded hallway.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, you can either act like nothing’s wrong, or you can ask him about it.” Renjun shook his head vehemently in response to the second option, so Donghyuck doubled down on the first. “Let him do whatever he needs to do to sort things out his way, then maybe he’ll talk to you about it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck strongly suspected that there was very little chance of Jaemin actually talking directly to Renjun about any of this, but then he had been wrong before. After all, he hadn't seen this morning’s events coming. He made a mental note to check in with Jaemin as soon as he could get him alone. This was strange behaviour indeed from the younger boy, and Donghyuck didn't want either of them getting any more hurt over this than they already were.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At lunch, Donghyuck half expected Jaemin to hide out in the dance studio again, as he had on every other odd day for the past three weeks. So, when he reached the cafeteria and found Jaemin seated in his usual spot, he couldn't help the shiver of unease that slid down his spine. He was happy to see his friend—of course, he was—but he wasn't entirely sure he was going to like what followed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Long time, no see,” he said, gesturing around them at the cafeteria as he slid into place next to Jaemin. “What brings you here on this fine Friday?” He tried to keep his voice calm and even, but he couldn't hide the undercurrent of curiosity that tried to fight its way free.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know what you mean,” Jaemin began blithely, but Donghyuck flashed him an unamused glare and he sighed. “Alright, fine!” Jaemin rolled his eyes. Now there was the fight Donghyuck had been missing in his opinionated friend, ever since the incident. “I miss hanging out with you guys, okay? I miss you every other day, and I miss...I miss Renjun. I know it won’t be the same now, and he might not want to be my friend anymore—I can’t change that—but I miss him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I miss you too, Jaemin-ah.” Both of them jumped at the new voice, heads snapping up fast enough to give Donghyuck whiplash as Renjun dropped his school bag on the floor at the end of the table and slid a lunchbox into his spot opposite Jaemin. The younger boy looked fearful, but Renjun just smiled down at him softly. “I’m not going to pretend to understand why you’ve been avoiding me, but I don’t care.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No.” Renjun’s face didn't betray any of the myriad thoughts Donghyuck knew he must have just then, but the affection in his expression seemed genuine and earnest. “I mean, I’m curious and a little hurt still, but I meant what I said. I miss you, and I didn't like us not talking. I’ll take what I can get.” Jaemin didn't react for a long moment, face frozen and mouth open in surprise, but then he returned Renjun’s smile with a tentative one of his own.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun sat down, pulled a sandwich out of his bag and started to unwrap it as if nothing had just transpired. He took a small bite, glanced from Jaemin to Donghyuck and then placed the sandwich back onto its wrapping. “So, did either of you finish the assignment for Mrs Chen last night?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck briefly considered the possibility that he had slipped into yet another alternate reality while he slept, as he chewed on his food and watched Renjun and Jaemin make small talk about dance rehearsals and the weather. As glad as he was that his friends were speaking again, there was the small matter of the reason for their rift in the first place, lingering over all of them like a dark rain cloud. Just because Jaemin had suddenly decided to start ignoring it, that didn't make it magically disappear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What party?” Jaemin exclaimed, leaning in to look Renjun in the eyes eagerly. “Can I come?” Donghyuck almost managed to interject and explain why that might be a bad idea, but then Jaemin was speaking again. “I can keep Hyuckie company. Wouldn't want him to be third-wheeling your date all night, would we?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not a date,” Renjun insisted, flushing as Jaemin chuckled at the expression on the older boy’s face. Donghyuck blinked owlishly at them both, not having realised that Jeno had even been mentioned. He glanced at Jaemin, expecting to see some hint of bitterness in the boy’s eyes, but either Jaemin was a better actor than he gave him credit for, or Jaemin had really decided to put his feelings aside to save their friendship.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course it's not,” Jaemin drawled, nudging Donghyuck in the side to attract his attention. “Right, Hyuck?” Donghyuck grinned in what he hoped was an encouraging way. He shrugged noncommittally, because he thought that was probably what Jaemin wanted him to do, but inside his mind was hard at work again, trying to figure out what Jaemin was up to. “Anyway, I haven’t done anything crazy in forever, so a party sounds awesome. You </span>
  <em>
    <span>have</span>
  </em>
  <span> to let me come!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This whole situation felt wrong, Donghyuck thought to himself, like something was waiting just beneath the surface to rear up and bring everything crashing down around them. Jaemin was being far too enthusiastic and blasé for someone who had been utterly heartbroken just a few short days ago. Renjun was taking his u-turn well too, but Donghyuck could see the confusion and disbelief in his eyes whenever Jaemin wasn't looking. He didn't believe Jaemin’s indifference anymore than Donghyuck did, but he was choosing to ignore it in favour of appeasing his friend.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It felt like the calm before the storm, Donghyuck realised, like they were waiting for the facade to fall apart and expose the bitter truth behind it. No, it was more than that. A storm was almost too tame. It was like the calm before a thermonuclear detonation, that moment just before everything is blown to kingdom come and nothing is left alive. Donghyuck could only hope that, when the fuse ran out, there was something of their friendship left to salvage.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, hyung.” For the second time that lunch break, Donghyuck jumped as an unexpected voice broke him from his thoughts. This time, it was Chenle who had spoken, materialising at Donghyuck’s elbow with Jisung just a few seconds behind him. The exuberant freshman eagerly accepted the hug Donghyuck offered him, tucking himself in under the older boy’s arm as he waved at the other two 11th-graders in greeting.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How are you both feeling?” Renjun asked, returning Chenle’s wave with a smile. Jaemin would have done the same, but Jisung launched himself at the older boy before he had a chance to react.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Jisung-ah,” Jaemin murmured, his words muffled as his face was unceremoniously plastered to the front of Jisung’s shirt. The younger boy laughed and released him, surprising Donghyuck when he turned and hugged him next, easily slotting himself into Donghyuck’s side across from Chenle. It took him a moment to react, but Donghyuck quickly wrapped an arm around Jisung and squeezed tightly, closing his eyes briefly as the two younger boys rested a cheek on each of his shoulders.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’re great, thanks to you and Hyuckie-hyung,” Chenle told Renjun, as Jaemin’s jaw dropped open. He stared at Donghyuck with undisguised curiosity, so the older boy sent him a cheeky wink and pulled Jisung in closer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, this is new,” Jaemin muttered, turning to face Renjun again. “I think I might have missed something somewhere along the way.” Across from him, Renjun shrugged evasively but then nodded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You could say that.” He glanced over at Jisung, who was still tucked into Donghyuck’s side. “Do you think it would be okay if we told Jaemin-hyung what happened last night, Jisung-ah?” Jisung lifted his head, eyes sliding from Renjun’s face to Jaemin slowly. “You can trust him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Jisung said quickly, nodding. “I trust all of you.” Chenle hummed in agreement, before pulling free of Donghyuck’s grip. Walking quickly around to the other side of the table, he wrapped both arms loosely around Renjun’s neck and dropped his chin onto the older boy’s shoulder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So do I,” Chenle said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun seemed surprised for a moment, as though he was unsure how to respond to the unexpected show of affection, but then he relaxed and leant back into Chenle’s embrace. A small, happy smile spread across his lips and he tilted his head until it rested against Chenle’s temple. It was so reminiscent of Chenle’s earliest days as a trainee, when he had used to cling like a limpet to any and all of his Chinese hyungs for comfort when he felt homesick, that Donghyuck couldn't help the contented smile that overtook his face. He’d worry about the lingering issues between Renjun and Jaemin later. For now, he’d enjoy this extra clingy duo and their new-found closeness to their fellow Dreamies.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>On Saturday evening, Donghyuck pulled up outside Renjun’s house nearly fifteen minutes late. Jaemin was already in the backseat, complaining loudly at Donghyuck for not letting him change his shirt one last time. Renjun, who was already waiting impatiently under the streetlight at the end of his driveway, took one look at the younger boy and threw his overnight bag at Jaemin’s face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shut up, idiot,” he muttered, even as Jaemin laughed and pushed the bag onto the floor beside him. “You look fine. It’s not like you’re going to know anyone there anyway. You don’t need to dress up nice for a bunch of drunk college kids with brains the size of a pea.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I thought Yukhei was dating one of them,” Donghyuck said, twisting in his seat to face Renjun, who slipped into the passenger seat beside him and shut the door with a loud slam. “And my brother is in college too. They’re not all pea-brained.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your brother is an exception,” Renjun insisted, patting Donghyuck on the arm apologetically, like his words had somehow personally insulted Jaehyun and, by extension, Donghyuck. Then Renjun turned his attention back to Jaemin and fixed him with a keen stare. “You know we can’t even drink tonight, right, Jaemin-ah? Jeno said Yukhei’s boyfriend made him swear that much. Yukhei is a senior—not to mention he’s tall enough to pass for a college kid most days anyway—but some of us still look fifteen.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Speak for yourself,” Jaemin muttered, but he wilted under Renjun’s stare. “Fine. I’ll be good. You don’t have to worry about me embarrassing you in front of your boyfrien—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“For the last time, Jaemin. Jeno is not my…” Renjun broke off abruptly, throwing his hands into the air and rolling his eyes dramatically at Donghyuck. Without another word, he took out his phone a little too aggressively and pulled up the navigation app, typing something in quickly. Then he turned to Donghyuck and held up the device. “You drive, I’ll navigate.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sounds good.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They made easy conversation as Donghyuck manoeuvred the car onto the highway and started to head out of town. Renjun paused to interject the odd direction now and then, as they started to detail the previous night to a suddenly incredibly attentive Jaemin, but, for the most part, Donghyuck didn't need the guidance. He remembered the basic route to the university from his previous trip, even as he hoped fervently that Renjun’s address wouldn’t take them anywhere near his brother at the Alpha Beta Eta house, for his own sake.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck found himself relaxing into the conversation, adding in small details that Renjun neglected to tell as he summarised their meeting with Jisung’s chosen brother, WinWin. Jaemin asked a lot of questions at that point, many of which Renjun couldn’t answer from the mere thirty seconds of interaction he’d had with the man, so Donghyuck took over and started to recount his relationship with his WinWin-hyung over the years.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It felt so comfortable that he started to wonder if he had overestimated the trouble that might be brewing behind the new truce between his friends. Perhaps, if Jaemin was serious about putting everything behind him, this would all be okay. Maybe Jaemin had the inner strength of a saint. Maybe he would be able to deal with his feelings by himself, and Renjun would never be any the wiser as to what had happened. Maybe, Donghyuck mused, both of his friends could learn to be happy again—as friends and nothing more.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Turn left here.” Renjun interrupted a story Donghyuck had been telling them about a prank he and the other Jaemin had tried to play on the maknaes—one that had ended with Jaemin in a headlock and Donghyuck soaking wet—and Donghyuck dutifully made the turn into a familiar street full of massive, imposing mansion houses.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What house number did you say it was again, Injun-ah?” Donghyuck asked hesitantly, as he peered up at the first house on the right. Renjun told him, and it wasn't the one he knew Jaehyun had given him the time he’d visited Alpha Beta Eta, but the sinking feeling in his stomach as they passed the house in question made the previous good vibes flee in a heartbeat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What is it?” Jaemin asked, loosening his seatbelt so that he could lean through the gap between the front seats, peering at Donghyuck’s face inquisitively. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s my brother’s frat,” Donghyuck told him, pointing a finger behind him at the house disappearing into the night at their backs. The floodlights illuminating the Greek symbols on the front were still visible, leaving the impression that the marble carvings were floating freely in the shadows, as the other two boys peered out of the rear-view in the direction he was pointing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t think we’ll run into him, do you?” Renjun asked, sounding a little hesitant now too. Renjun knew enough about their relationship to realise the same thing Donghyuck had, once Jeno had informed them it was a college party. Jaehyun, for all his confessions of wild, frat-boy behaviour, would definitely not approve of his little brother—or any of his friends—getting involved in anything of that sort.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Man, I hope not,” Jaemin said, leaning back into his seat with a groan. “I want to have fun. We can’t drink as it is, so I don’t want to have to be worried about getting kicked out by Hyuck’s overprotective brother too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’ll be fine,” Donghyuck told them, proud when his words came out sounding a lot more confident than he felt. “There are a lot of students at the university. What are the odds?” Renjun smirked at him, as if he knew that Donghyuck’s bravado was nothing more than a sham, but he didn't comment. Instead, he just pointed at an empty spot on the curb.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There. It’s this one.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That much, Donghyuck thought wryly, was obvious. While the darkness and the sheer length of the street had done a lot early on to mask the noise, the atmosphere they suddenly found themselves submerged in was a deluge of colour, sound and ear-splitting noise. People spilled out onto the terrace that ran around the exterior of the house, and at least thirty people were clustered in groups as they stood or sat on the lawn. A steady stream of people crossed the road in front of the car, as Donghyuck pulled up and parked, coming out from what looked to be every other house in eyesight.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“See,” Jaemin said eagerly, snapping his belt off and launching himself through the divide again. “There are a ton of people here. We won’t run into anyone you recognise—except for Jeno and Yukhei-hyung—and it’ll be fun. Come on!” He gently shoved Renjun towards the door, barely waiting until the older boy had it open before he was climbing through into the passenger seat alongside him. Why he couldn't just open one of the rear doors, Donghyuck didn't know, but Jaemin looked funny enough trying to cram his long legs around the central console that he decided not to mention it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Climbing out of the driver’s side, Donghyuck almost reared back at the wave of noise that assaulted his senses and made the metal door beneath his fingers rattle slightly. It looked like every single light bulb in the vast building was on, the structure a beacon of gold and white light, beaming out its location to every moth this side of campus. Loud shouts and whoops echoed across the lawn towards them, and he saw a male student stumble and fall backwards into a nearby bush, before climbing back out and continuing with his conversation like nothing had happened.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not so sure about this, Hyuckie,” Renjun said quietly, leaning into Donghyuck to make himself heard. His fingers found Donghyuck’s hand in the dark too, threading their fingers together. Donghyuck felt the older boy’s hand shaking slightly through their connection, so he squeezed gently and pulled them both forward, towards the path leading to the entrance.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Remember that Jeno asked you to come tonight,” he told Renjun, lips close enough to lightly graze Renjun’s hair. “Let’s go find him and say hello.” He glanced over at Jaemin, who was staring around himself at everything rapturously, with a distinct twinkle in his eye, then turned his attention back to Renjun. “If you still don’t like it after that, I’ll take you home. I promise.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn't mean Renjun’s home, since both Jaemin and Renjun had packed to stay over at his house overnight—and they were all attending a late-night movie marathon in town first, if his mom ever asked—but Renjun nodded and offered him a grateful smile. Jaemin, seeming to realise that he was now missing out on something, sidled up and hooked an arm around each of them, pushing up on his toes until he was practically draped across their shoulders.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are we going in?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Renjun said. “We are.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck wasn't sure what he expected, when the comically oversized wooden doors swung open, but yet another new, yet oh-so-familiar face wasn't it. He stopped walking, Renjun’s nose colliding painfully with his spine from the difference in momentum, at the sight of the man leaning up against a low vanity wall just clear of the entryway. He heard a disgruntled groan from more than one of his friends, as Jaemin squeezed between his arm and the doorframe to try to make his way inside, but Donghyuck didn't even try to move out of the way.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Welcome to Epsilon Eta Phi,” the man said, a passive but friendly smile plastered across his whole face. “I hope you have fun tonight.” The words were clearly rehearsed and well used, but they sounded genuine. Donghyuck expected that the man’s whole demeanour was meant to come across as simultaneously disarming, welcoming and engaging, but he could see the tinge of exhaustion and introversion hidden just underneath the surface.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kun-hyung!” He wasn't sure what made him say that out loud, but the passivity in the man’s gaze disappeared instantly. He pushed up off the wall and strode the few feet to stand directly in front of them, staring down at Donghyuck with freshly piqued interest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do I know you?” Searching for an answer that Kun wouldn't find suspicious, since they were quite clearly far too young to know him from class or around campus, Donghyuck glanced to his left to see that Renjun and Jaemin had both made it inside—he must have moved towards Kun as he observed him, without even realising. Renjun was busy on his phone, typing so quickly that his fingers seemed to fly across the screen, but Jaemin was watching the exchange between his friend and the college student intently.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh.” Sensing he wasn't about to get any help from either of them, Donghyuck turned his attention back to Kun. The man was frowning now, arms crossed over his chest in a way that no longer looked welcoming.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How old are you, kid?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yukhei-ge!” Renjun shouted from beside Donghyuck, shifting his phone into one hand so that he could raise the other and wave at someone over Kun’s shoulder. “Jeno-yah!” Kun was so close to Donghyuck that he couldn't see around him properly, but the answering shout was unmistakable. A few seconds later, Yukhei and Jeno materialised like Donghyuck’s own personal guardian angels, drawing Kun’s attention on to them and, mercifully, off of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Xuxi,” the man said, quickly accepting Yukhei’s all-encompassing embrace. “I’ve missed you.” Jeno skirted around the two of them neatly and came to stand next to Renjun, smiling down at him brightly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi,” Renjun answered, stepping closer. Donghyuck wasn't sure that Renjun was even aware that he’d moved but, by the way that Jeno’s smile broadened, the younger boy had and he wasn't exactly unhappy about it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I got your message,” Jeno said, tapping his phone through the pocket of his jeans.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I figured.” Renjun laughed. “Thank you.” Donghyuck must have looked confused because, when Renjun turned and caught his eye, he hurried to explain. “I messaged Jeno so that he could come and find us. I didn't realise that he would need to rescue us quite so quickly, but I’m glad he did.” Renjun glanced back up at Jeno, and the boy’s ears tinged pink.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You have Xuxi to thank for that, I think,” Jeno said magnanimously, gestured to where Yukhei was reluctantly releasing Kun from his embrace. “He knows a lot of people here, apparently. A lot of them lived in his neighbourhood growing up, he said. Something about foreigners sticking together…?” Jeno shrugged, but Renjun’s eyes lit up in understanding.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know the area he means. My family almost moved there, when we first moved to Korea, but my dad wanted the authentic Korean experience instead.” Renjun made air quotes around the last three words, rolling his eyes. “It didn't matter to me, since I was already bilingual, but I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I’d grown up in that part of town.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jeno looked like he wanted to say something in response, but Yuhkei looped an arm around his shoulder and pulled him away. “Kun-ge, this is my friend, Jeno,” he said, practically shoving the younger boy towards Kun. “We’re on the soccer team together.” Kun chuckled at his antics but shook Jeno’s hand politely. “And these are Jeno’s friends.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jeno’s eyes flicked to Jaemin for a split second, as if noticing him for the first time, but he didn't correct the older boy. Instead, he just nodded and Kun offered Donghyuck and the others a shallow bow in greeting. His eyes travelled across the three of them, lingering for a second longer than was necessary on Donghyuck’s face, before he focused on Yukhei once again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to assume that none of them is old enough to be here,” Kun said slowly, despite the small smile threatening to break out across his lips. Yukhei had the sense to look sheepish for a moment, before he grinned at the man playfully and lightly punched Kun in the bicep. The man winced a little, but threw his head back and laughed. “I’m holding you responsible for them, Xuxi. I don’t want to see any of you drinking, smoking or fornicating tonight, or I’ll call your mom and tell her to check your internet search history again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You wouldn’t!” Lucas gasped in horror, his face falling as he took in the determined set of Kun’s jaw. “Even me?” The man nodded, and Lucas’ shoulders slumped. He shot Kun one more pleading look, which was ignored, then sighed. “Fine. We’ll be good, won’t we kids?” He flashed the rest of the group a blinding smile, cheeks showcasing a hint of a dimple, and then gestured for them to follow him further into the house. “Bye, ge.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Once they were far enough away from Kun, navigating a packed hallway that seemed to lead out towards the garden at the rear of the house, Renjun tapped Yukhei’s arm to attract his attention. The older boy leaned in, and Renjun pushed up onto his tiptoes to make himself heard. “Who was that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Qian Kun,” Yukhei told them, finding a relatively clear section of wall space, before turning to face them. Renjun glanced at Donghyuck quickly, and Donghyuck knew that Renjun had noticed his little slip of the tongue back in the entryway. He suspected that, if they weren't with Jeno and Yukhei, Renjun would be asking him that question, but Yukhei was a good alternative source of information, especially with how well he seemed to know Kun.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kun-ge is the vice-president of Epsilon Eta Phi,” Yukhei continued, leaning back against the wall and kicking up a foot to rest it against the polished wood panelling at the base. “This is the frat on campus with the largest international population. It’s the one I’d pledge, if I came here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck was reminded suddenly of something Yuta had said about a similar fraternity on campus. He wondered if it was this one. If it was, there was a good chance that Ten would be hanging around somewhere, as Yuta had been pretty transparent in his description of the Thai man. He glanced up and down the corridor, as if the man would suddenly just appear out of nowhere and introduce himself, but, of course, it wasn't that easy. He would definitely look out for him tonight though, Donghyuck told himself. He hadn’t seen Ten in far too long, and he missed his infectious energy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean, if you come here?” Donghyuck focused back on the group as Jeno fixed Yukhei with a knowing look. “You </span>
  <em>
    <span>will </span>
  </em>
  <span>come here next year. It’s your first-choice college.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have to get in first, Jeno-yah,” Yukhei said earnestly, face more serious than Donghyuck could recall seeing it in a very long time. “My grades are barely enough to stay on the team as it is.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ll get in,” Jeno said firmly, shutting down Yukhei when he started to argue. “Not tonight, Xuxi-hyung. Not again.” Jeno glanced over at the three boys watching their exchange and visibly brightened. “Tonight, let’s just have some fun, before you graduate and get too old and boring to hang out with us high schoolers anymore.” Yukhei laughed at that, so Jeno pressed on. “Speaking of, where’s your guy, anyway? You said you were going to introduce me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure I want to anymore,” Yukhei muttered, but his smile was resolutely back in place. “Come on. He told me he’d be out on the deck.” He kicked off the wall and resumed his impromptu house tour, guiding them through another three hallways until they encountered a cool breeze coming from an open doorway. Beyond it, Donghyuck could make out a few dimly lit tiki torches, lining a large patio area.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There were fewer people out here, Donghyuck realised, as Yukhei used his height and considerable presence to ease their group through the crowd near the door and out into the night. The torches provided just enough light to see where they stepped, and to prevent anyone relatively sober from falling off the raised decking into the garden below, but there were a lot of shadows above the waist. It made each of the bodies out here look even more like strangers, and Donghyuck felt someone press up beside him for security, so he turned to pull them in closer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>To his surprise, it was Jaemin. Renjun was a few feet away, and he suddenly realised that Renjun didn't need Donghyuck any more. Jeno’s arm was slung loosely around his neck and Renjun was leaning into the younger boy comfortably. He felt Jaemin stiffen beside him as he followed Donghyuck’s gaze, and the older boy reached out to take Jaemin’s hand, squeezing it reassuringly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay with this?” he said softly, no longer needing to shout to make himself heard. The deafening music and thumping bass seemed to be confined largely to the front part of the house, with a quieter, mellower mix pumped out from a small speaker on a table nearby instead. Donghyuck had to admit that it was a lot less overwhelming this way.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m trying to be,” Jaemin replied, leaning into his friend. He rested his head on Donghyuck’s shoulder at the exact moment that Renjun did the same thing with Jeno. It was an odd kind of synergy, Donghyuck thought, and not one that was likely to be particularly welcome to Jaemin. “It’s hard, but I need him. However he’ll have me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know you’ll have to tell him eventually,” Donghyuck said, as they followed after the others at a short distance, giving them some privacy. “It’s not fair to either of you otherwise.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know.” For a long moment, Jaemin fell silent and Donghyuck didn't think he was going to continue. “I’m just scared of losing him for good. I almost lost him this time, and it felt like I was dying. I can’t do that again.” There was nothing Donghyuck could say to make things better at this moment, so he stayed silent, guiding Jaemin with his body. He didn't know how to fix this—he was just as helpless as he had been the last time Jaemin had said words like these—but he would be there for him, for both of them, regardless of how things went down. It was what he did best, after all.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Woo-hyung!” Donghyuck looked up from the floor, where he’d been using the torchlight to guide them around a stray chair in the darkness, to see that Yukhei had stopped and was waving at someone to his right. He tapped Jaemin on the cheek and the younger boy perked up, lifting his head to see what was going on. They came to a halt just downwind of Jeno and Renjun, who were now holding hands, and Jaemin shook himself to awareness like a cat might rid itself of lethargy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, jegi-yah.” Donghyuck’s brows rose and he blinked in surprise as Jungwoo stepped up beside Yukhei, melting into the taller boy’s side. Jungwoo’s gaze landed on Renjun and Jeno and he smiled softly. “Who are your—oh!” The man’s gaze shifted to Jaemin and then to Donghyuck, where he did a double-take and then stopped dead. “Hyuckie?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, hyung.” Donghyuck waved at Jungwoo, who left Yukhei’s side just long enough to pull the boy into a tight hug that smelled like campfires and marshmallows, with a subtle accent of beer and whiskey. “I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised to see you here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I guess not,” the man said with a melodic laugh, stepping back and allowing Yuhei to link their fingers, in a move that didn't look nearly as smooth and effortless as he suspected Yukhei intended it to be.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I am a little surprised to see you two...” Donghyuck waved a hand at the pair of them, and Yukhei bristled a little.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why?” he asked, brows furrowing as he pulled Jungwoo closer. “It’s not that weird for two guys to—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That is </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> what I meant,” Donghyuck interjected. He held out a hand, as though Yukhei would be able to read the truth on his palm. “I couldn’t care less about your sexual preferences.” Yukhei relaxed a little and Jungwoo used his free hand to stroke the boy’s cheek affectionately. Yukhei leant into his touch, eyes fluttering closed for a moment, before focusing back onto Donghyuck’s face. “I’m just surprised to see my brother’s roommate with my friend’s…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He broke off, not sure exactly how to explain Yukhei’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>six degrees of separation</span>
  </em>
  <span> from him, via Renjun and Jeno, but Jungwoo seemed to get the idea. “He’s the one I was telling you about, jagi-yah. Jaehyunie-hyung’s brother.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>thought</span>
  </em>
  <span> I recognised the name,” Yukhei exclaimed, waving the hand still linked to Jungwoo’s in front of him, out towards Donghyuck. “I thought about that the first time I met you, in the art studio. I didn't think you could be the same Lee Donghyuck but, I guess, I should have realised. It’s a small world in Neo City, after all.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Very small,” Jungwoo agreed. Then his gaze shifted up and over Donghyuck’s shoulder, lips splitting into another beatific smile, this one directed at whomever he saw there. “And it’s about to get just a little bit smaller.” At his words, Donghyuck felt Jaemin shift beside him, turning to see who Jungwoo was looking at. He started to do the same, but a hand clamped down on his shoulder before he could make it even halfway.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I told you it was him,” Yuta said loudly, his face swimming into view out of the darkness. He was followed closely by an incredulous-looking Dongyoung, who groaned in frustration when he caught sight of Donghyuck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I said there was no way it could be him, because I didn't think he would ever be stupid enough to turn up at a party where his brother was also in attendance.” Donghyuck felt the blood draining from his cheeks as he stared up at Dongyoung, who watched him unapologetically. “If Jaehyun sees you, he’s going to kill you, Hyuck. Then he’s going to kill the rest of us too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nice to see you too, hyung,” Donghyuck said sarcastically. Dongyoung laughed dryly, but held out his arms out for Donghyuck to fold himself into the man for a hug. He held tight around Dongyoung’s waist, enjoying how Dongyoung curled in around him protectively, and then Yuta was pulling him free and lifting him off his feet, wrapping Donghyuck into a bear hug that would rival Yukhei for exuberance.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m guessing these are your roommates, Woo-hyung?” As though summoned by his thoughts, Yukhei shifted to close their group off into a small, neat circle. Somehow Donghyuck ended up in the centre but, when Yuta wrapped an arm around his chest and pressed up against Donghyuck’s back, he found he didn't mind so much anymore. The man was warm and freely affectionate, which Donghyuck would never turn down, so he leant back into Yuta’s chest and watched Yukhei shake hands with Dongyoung, as Jungwoo introduced them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This is the guy?” Dongyoung asked, pulling his arm back as he scanned Yukhei from head to toe. “I know you said he wasn't in college yet, but Hyuck and his friends are in 11th-grade. They’re all still practically babies, Woo!” Jungwoo flushed red, even as Jeno and Jaemin both looked mildly offended by the comparison, and he held out a hand, palm first, towards his roommate.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yukhei is a senior,” Jungwoo explained. Dongyoung didn't relax his posture, but a little of the disappointment faded from his gaze. Donghyuck could understand why Dongyoung might be a little concerned about the age gap but, as Jungwoo started to explain, he was only a college freshman himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, let the kids live, Do,” Yuta interjected, after they all watched Jungwoo flounder under the older man’s gaze for a few minutes. “Can’t you see he’s happy?” Dongyoung blew out a long breath, opening his mouth as if ready to unleash some new witty retort or other, but then shut it slowly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re right, hyung,” he admitted. He smiled at Jungwoo, then turned his attention to Yukhei, who looked mildly traumatised. “Be good to our Woo, will you?” Yukhei froze, cheeks turning as pink as the salmon dress shirt Jaemin had chosen to wear that night, and then he nodded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I will.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dongyoung nodded approvingly, then turned to Jeno and started asking him about himself. Jeno’s eyes widened at the attention he had suddenly received from the intimidating—yet ultimately well-meaning—man standing across from him, but quickly engaged him in easy conversation. Donghyuck let himself enjoy the soft sounds of conversation blooming around him, Yuta chatting smoothly with Jaemin about something he couldn’t quite make out, and he closed his eyes. He could get used to this, he thought, to all the people he loved coming together like this in one place. It felt like a delicate bubble of peace and happiness that he hoped no one would ever burst. He’d be content to exist in this bubble for a long time, safe from the worries and trials of his displaced existence outside it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Hyuck-ah.” Yuta’s voice in his ear jolted him to awareness, but the warm arm across his collarbones stopped him from stumbling. Instead, he opened his eyes and turned his head to meet Yuta’s keen gaze. The man now held a beer in one hand, which he must have been handed by someone while Donghyuck wasn't paying attention, and he raised it to his lips as he stared down at Donghyuck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” Yuta released him and he stepped away far enough that he could turn to look the man in the eye. Yuta held out his hand, the one currently holding the beer bottle, and offered it to Donghyuck. For a moment, Donghyuck was confused, wondering why Yuta would be offering him alcohol when everyone else seemed hell-bent on keeping him away from the stuff, but then Yuta laughed and pressed the bottle firmly into his palm.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not trying to corrupt you, little brother,” he said, releasing his grip on the bottle. Donghyuck’s fingers closed around it instinctively, feeling the weight of the half-full glass as it settled against his palm. “I just need you to hold this while I run to the bathroom. I really need to pee.” Donghyuck’s expression didn't change for a second, as he just stared at the man, then he cracked a smile and chuckled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can do that.” He cradled the bottle close to his chest, like he was caring for an infant, and Yuta smirked. “I’ll protect it with my life, hyung.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’d better.” Yuta turned to leave, winking at Donghyuck as he did so, but walked headfirst into a solid chest. He didn't quite bounce back, carrying his fair share of muscle, but he was stopped in his tracks. He glanced up into the face of the tall man he’d just collided with, recognising him immediately. “Oh. Hey, Jaehyun-ah.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyung, would you care to explain why you just handed my baby brother a beer?” Donghyuck’s eyes widened as he came face to face with Lee Jaehyun over Yuta’s shoulder. His brother was speaking to Yuta, but his gaze was firmly fixed on Donghyuck’s face. His eyes flashed dangerously in the low torchlight and Yuta backed away slowly, raising his hands defensively in front of him. Jaehyun took a step forward, matching Yuta step for step, and Donghyuck finally managed to get a good look at his brother’s expression.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Furious. Jaehyun was furious. Donghyuck wasn't sure why, but Jaehyun looked about ready to murder Yuta.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Oops. Poor Yuta had better run...!</p><p>As ever, if you have thoughts, please let me hear them. I love every single theory and idea, so keep them coming. This time around though, I have an extra request, if anyone feels the urge to share. Fellow multi-stans and non-multis alike, what's your favourite song right now? I've gotten myself in a bit of a rut with my current playlist (I love every song, but the lineup hasn't changed at all in a few weeks), so I'd love some recs if you have them. I'm open to anything, although I usually listen to male groups as a general rule.</p><p>As always, have a wonderful day!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0031"><h2>31. Chapter 31</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry that I've updated slightly less this week, and that I'm still several chapters behind on replying to comments. Work has been a nightmare, with important deadlines all over the place, but thankfully I can always rely on the weekends.</p><p>Thank you all for the amazing song recs. I was honestly expecting like five, but you guys blew it out of the water! I'm excited to get to listen to every single one eventually, but it's going to take some time...</p><p>Anyway, for this chapter, I'm not even going to hint at what's coming. Just sit back and enjoy the ride, then we'll talk at the end. :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Hyung, I asked you a question.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eyes still firmly fixed on Donghyuck’s face, Jaehun took another step towards an increasingly uneasy Yuta. Jaehyun looked a little unsteady on his feet as he moved, eyes less focused than they had first appeared. As he stepped closer to one of the torches lining the edge of the decking area, Donghyuck got a distinct sinking feeling in his gut. He’d seen a similar glazed look in Jaehyun’s eyes once before—at the SM Halloween party last year, when Jaehyun had decided it would be a good idea to try to match Johnny shot for shot and had nearly ended up in the hospital—but the accompanying anger was entirely new, and that worried him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not what it looks like, Jaehyun-hyung!” Donghyuck insisted, holding out his hands placatingly towards his brother, who had mercifully paused for the time being. Yuta was nearly flat against the railing that ran around the deck now, and he would have nowhere to go but over and down if Jaehyun started for him again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It looks like he gave you alcohol,” Jaehyun said flatly, glancing down at the bottle still clutched in Donghyuck’s fingers. Too late, the younger boy realised that holding the beer out in front of him probably wasn't the best way to make his point, so he thrust it at Yuta, not waiting to make sure the man had a firm grip on it before backing away quickly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yuta took one look at the item in his hand and then upended it over his shoulder, the dark liquid gurgling as it disappeared into the darkness of the garden below. When he was done, he set the now empty bottle down on the railing behind him and neatly stepped in front of it, effectively hiding it from view.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What alcohol?” he asked innocently, smiling up at Jaehyun, whose right eye twitched as he struggled to maintain his steely focus on his roommate’s face. The younger man took a deep breath, fists clenching at his sides, then took another decisive step towards Yuta. Without thinking, Donghyuck hurried forward, wrapping a hand around Jaehyun’s bicep and tugging at it, as though he might actually be able to stop him if he took a swing for Yuta.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yuta,” Jaehyun growled, dropping the honorific. The low sound ripped through his body as he spoke and Donghyuck felt the lean muscles under his fingers start to bunch, just before Jaehyun pounced. He squeezed down hard, freezing Jaehyun in place mid-stride and pulling his brother’s attention away from a wide-eyed Yuta.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyung, I swear it’s not what it looks like.” He tugged on the arm again. This time, Jaehyun turned from Yuta to face him, swaying a little as the pungent scent of beer hit Donghyuck in the face like he’d been punched. He’d already known that Jaehyun was slightly drunk, but the way the man’s eyes focused and then immediately unfocused on him let him know that he had slightly underestimated the extent. “Yuta-hyung just asked me to hold his beer while he went to the bathroom, that’s all.” He watched Jaehyun’s chest rise and fall a few times, the man squinting from Yuta to Donghyuck and back again, as he seemed to be trying to decide if he believed what was being said. “I promise, hyung. He didn't do anything wrong.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck wasn't entirely sure why Yuta giving him a sip of his beer would be such a big deal anyway, since the Jaehyun he’d grown up with had done exactly that many times—with all of his fellow Dreamies—over the years, whenever Taeyong, Doyoung and Kun weren’t watching too closely. He, Johnny and Yuta had taken on the task of preparing the younger members for the adult world with considerable relish, ensuring that Donghyuck and the others knew their limits and their personal tastes long before it was time for them to be let loose on their own. It was something he had often been grateful for in his reality, so he couldn't see why the prospect made Jaehyun quite so upset here.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know why, Yuta,” Jaehyun said cryptically, the fire in his eyes dying out almost as quickly as it had arisen. The older man nodded solemnly, and Jaehyun clapped a shaking hand onto Donghyuck’s shoulder. “I saw you hand it to him and I—I just saw red. I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I understand,” Yuta said, stepping away from the railing to pull his roommate into an affectionate hug. A flash of colour from behind Jaehyun caught Donghyuck’s attention, and he turned to see a familiar face staring at him over the dim light of the torch that flickered between them. Ten stood less than five paces away, leant up against the railing, watching their exchange with keen interest. He didn't react immediately, when he noticed Donghyuck’s gaze had landed on him, but then one eyebrow quirked in silent question.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was standing vigil, Donghyuck realised with surprise, as he took in the subtle way that Ten seemed to be simultaneously both relaxed and alert at the same time, like he wanted people to think he wasn't paying attention while being ready to move in at the slightest hint of trouble. As Ten’s eyes flicked almost imperceptibly from Donghyuck to Jaehyun and then back, the younger boy realised what he was doing and smiled. Ten, despite being considerably shorter and more slender than both of Donghyuck’s companions, was looking out for him—for all three of them. He must have seen Jaehyun’s anger flare up and wanted to check that there wasn't about to be a brawl in his home.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck smiled again, more purposefully this time, making sure that the man saw the affirmation and lack of concern in his eyes. Everything was okay, he tried to convey with a look. Jaehyun was calm now, wrapped up in Yuta’s embrace, and the fire was contained. As if they had understood each other, Ten nodded at him once and then disappeared into the crowd of other partygoers, the shadows swallowing him up like he was a wraith, a figment of Donghyuck’s imagination.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Get in here,” Donghyuck heard Yuta mumble from behind him, blinking away all thoughts of Ten as he was pulled into Yuta’s arms alongside Jaehyun. He groaned in disgust as his face ended up squashed into Jaehyun's armpit—which probably wasn’t the most comfortable position even when the man was sober and freshly showered—and struggled to get free, pushing Yuta away with a strangled laugh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyung, I nearly suffocated in there.” Jaehyun let out a small, disgruntled huff, but Yuta just threw his head back and laughed. The younger man tried to land a punch to his gut, which Yuta easily sidestepped as Jaehyun stumbled into Donghyuck’s side and struggled to stabilise himself. That set off Yuta again and, pretty soon, all three of them were in fits of giggles. Once Jaehyun had sobered up a little, in as much as he was able with the alcohol in his system, he fixed Yuta with an earnest look.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I really am sorry, hyung,” he said quickly, the words a little slurred. “I panicked when I saw you with Hyuckie.” He looked down at Donghyuck, worrying his bottom lip with his teeth. “I didn't even know he was going to be here. You might be able to tell, but I’m just a little bit fucked up right now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I hadn't even noticed,” Donghyuck said with a smirk, lips spreading into a wider grin as Jaehyun scowled at the heavy sarcasm lacing his words. “For real though, hyung, why were you so worried about me drinking? I wasn't planning to anyway, but it seems important to you for some reason.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For a long time, Jaehyun just stared at Donghyuck, the muscles in his jaw and neck working hard as he swallowed repeatedly. Donghyuck thought he might not answer, but then he sighed and his shoulders slumped, his heavy frame leaning more heavily into Yuta and his brother. “I’m a total mess when I drink, Hyuck-ah,” he began. Yuta didn't speak, but the mixture of affection and concern in his eyes told Donghyuck that this wasn't news to him. “I’m not a light-weight, by any means, but I have no control. Tonight was nothing, and I’m already ready to pass out.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His weight pressed more firmly into Donghyuck and the boy shifted under it, trying to find a comfortable way to hold onto Jaehyun without losing his grip on his shirt. The tall man was heavy and it was a losing battle, but he didn't want to give up and let Jaehyun fall. After a moment, Yuta seemed to realise that he was struggling, slipping an arm under Jaehyun’s armpit to better distribute the weight.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay, hyung,” Donghyuck started to say, but Jaehyun shook his head vehemently.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not,” he insisted. Donghyuck pressed his lips together, listening carefully to what Jaehyun was saying, even as the individual words became increasingly slurred. “If I’d known you’d be here, I won’t have even started drinking. I don’t want you to see me like this.” He broke off, head tucked into the crook of Yuta’s neck as his eyes fluttered closed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> a bit of a light-weight sometimes,” Yuta offered, smirking at Donghyuck even as his face screwed up in concentration. “He’s also a lot heavier than he looks.” They took a break from their conversation as Donghyuck helped to carry a now snoring Jaehyun over to a lawn chair, which appeared to have been abandoned in the middle of the deck like an oasis of plastic in a desert of oak planking. Once he was settled, Yuta straightened up and turned his attention back to Donghyuck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You should know that Jaehyunie means well,” Yuta said, rolling the tension out of his shoulder muscles slowly. “He’s worried that he’s going to end up corrupting you, like he did to himself last year. He’d never forgive himself if something happened, because of his influence.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He asked you not to let me drink.” It wasn't really a question, but Yuta nodded anyway.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Before you came to the Annex for the first time, he made us hide all the alcohol in the laundry room.” He laughed, the lilting, airy sound drifting on the gentle breeze and enveloping Donghyuck like a blanket of warmth. “Taeil nearly murdered him that morning but, when we met you, we understood. You’re far too cute for him to let us be a bad influence on you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s a bit late for that.” Yuta stared at him in confusion, brows furrowing, and Donghyuck shrugged. He wasn't about to go into exactly why the idea of trying to keep him away from alcohol was a crazy one—Donghyuck was pretty sure that he and this Jaehyun wasn’t that far apart in age, really—but he could throw his hyung a bone. “I’ve had beer before. Quite a few times, actually, and you’ve got nothing to worry about. Lukewarm camel piss isn't really my thing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For an instant, he considered adding that he was much more likely to get into mischief sneaking into Johnny’s liquor cabinet with Renjun or Chenle—the older man kept all the good stuff under lock and key—but figured that probably wouldn't help his case with Yuta, who looked suitably shellshocked. Fortunately, the arrival of Dongyoung at that moment saved him the need to elaborate, the older man peering down at Jaehyun with a resigned look on his face as the rest of their group arrived behind him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Woo, can you call Taeil-hyung please?” he asked, glancing over at the college freshman before turning his attention back to Yuta. “I told you we shouldn't have left him alone inside.” Yuta shrugged, neither man looking particularly concerned. Donghyuck guessed that this was a common occurrence for Jaehyun, who was still out for the count, happily snoring loudly in the lawn chair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is that your brother?” Renjun asked, stepping up next to Donghyuck, who nodded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“In the flesh.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He grew up.” Renjun sounded oddly surprised by that fact, which Donghyuck was confused at until he remembered that it was likely several years since the older boy had seen Jaehyun. He recalled Renjun mentioning a former crush on the man who was now curled up peacefully, fast asleep in a chair in the middle of someone else’s garden, and wondered what Renjun thought of Jaehyun now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Taeil-hyung will be here in ten,” Jungwoo told Dongyoung, who nodded and then started to shoo them all away one by one. He insisted that he’d stay with Jaehyun until Taeil could come and help take the sophomore home to bed, and told the others to go and have fun. Jungwoo offered to show Renjun and Jeno the rest of the house, and he and Yukhei were still firmly attached at the hip, so the quartet left together. Jaemin was nowhere to be seen, which Donghyuck chose not to worry about for the time being, so, eventually, only he and Yuta remained with Dongyoung and Jaehyun.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t you still need to find that guy?” Dongyoung asked Yuta, who looked confused for a second before he gasped and smacked a hand to his forehead. Dongyoung rolled his eyes, making eye contact with Donghyuck and smirking. “I told Yuta-hyung that he’d forget. That’s the only reason we were even out here in the first place. Who was it again?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The Epsilon social secretary,” Yuta told him, glancing around like the person in question would just appear out of nowhere. “I know I’ve spoken to him before—we both have—but I don’t remember which one he is. His name is Ten.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck’s head snapped up at the mention of Ten’s name, knowing that he had already seen the man once before that night, and he joined Yuta in scanning their surroundings. Unlike Yuta, he quickly stopped on a slim figure with his back to them, short black hair just grazing the fabric of his wife-beater. He didn't know how he knew it was Ten, being unable to see his hyung’s face, but he was more sure than he’d been of anything in a long time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ten-hyung is over there,” he offered, pointing in the direction he was looking. Yuta turned from where he had been peering at the open doorway that led back inside the house, then grunted in surprise as Ten turned, seeming to sense eyes on his back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think that’s him,” Yuta murmured. He hooked an arm around Donghyuck’s waist, squeezing almost roughly. “Nice spot, little brother.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How did you know that?” At the sound of Dongyoung’s voice, both heads snapped up to meet his calculating gaze, and then Yuta was peering down at him curiously too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh…” Donghyuck wasn't sure how to answer that question and, with the weight of Dongyoung’s intense stare on him, he realised that he’d made yet another mistake. He couldn't even blame alcohol, he thought irritably, as he scrambled for an explanation that might make sense. He was stone-cold sober—unlike his brother—and he was still acting carelessly, especially in front of one of his smartest hyungs. If anyone was going to figure him out, it would be Dongyoung, and he couldn't let that happen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come on, Do,” Yuta interjected suddenly, sensing the newfound unease in Donghyuck’s frame. “Lay off the kid. He made my life a lot easier, and I really do need to talk to Ten about the order.” He glanced down at Donghyuck and grinned, releasing him before pressing a hand into the crook of the younger boy’s elbow. “You can come with me, Hyuck-ah. I’m going to need all the cuteness points I can get.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That’s not—” Yuta didn’t hear whatever Dongyoung had been about to say because he was busy tugging Donghyuck away, over towards a waiting Ten. The man didn't seem particularly surprised by Yuta’s approach, as he planted one hand on his hip and leant against the table he was standing in front of. His eyes flicked to Donghyuck for a moment, recognition sparking in their depths, but then he focused back on the older man, pushing up off the table to meet them as they neared.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ten-ssi.” Yuta greeted him politely, holding out a hand to the younger man. Ten took it, pumping it twice, then pulled back quickly. He didn't immediately say anything in response, so Yuta pulled on Donghyuck’s arm and guided him in between the two men. “This is Hyuck. He’s Jaehyunie’s baby brother.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi.” Donghyuck smiled at Ten, who stared at him for a few pregnant heartbeats before a smile spread across his own lips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi there, Hyuck-ah,” Ten said, reaching out to take both of Donghyuck’s hands in his own. He gave them a squeeze, both their smiles growing at the contact, and then he stepped back to hop up onto the tabletop behind him. “I’m Ten.” He paused. “Well, my name isn’t actually Ten, but no one can pronounce my real one, so let’s stick with Ten.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck, to what he’d count as his credit, had enough sense left not to try and show off the superior Thai pronunciation he’d learnt from Ten over the years. Instead, he just nodded and offered the man another tight grin. Ten leant back, placing his palms flat against the tabletop behind him, and fixed them with an inquisitive look. “So, how can I help you both tonight?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I need to amend the order we placed with you for next weekend,” Yuta said. Donghyuck started to shift out of the way, to allow the two men to speak face to face, but Yuta pulled him back into his chest like a shield. He guessed that was what Yuta meant by cuteness points, especially when Ten frowned and shook his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know we can’t do that,” he said. He didn't shift from his relaxed position, but Ten’s eyes narrowed a little. “Two weeks minimum. That’s always been the rule.” Yuta sighed, chin grazing the top of Donghyuck’s head as he nodded and blew out a long, frustrated breath.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know, but there has to be something you can do.” Ten tilted his head to the side and stared at Yuta expectantly, like he already knew what the older man’s next words would be. “Taeil-hyung is willing to pay extra.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It doesn’t work that way,” Ten said slowly, and then he shrugged. “I can ask Kun-hyung, but I make no promises. The order has already been placed with our suppliers.” To the uninformed, it might have sounded like the two men were skirting around an illicit arms deal—or one for something far less reputable than guns—but Donghyuck recalled Yuta saying that Epsilon Eta Phi was their source for alcohol for parties. That must be what they were talking about, Donghyuck realised, although, from the way Yuta’s arms tensed around him, the older man wasn't thrilled by the answer Ten had given.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come on, Ten,” Yuta started, but Donghyuck reached up to grab at the man’s arm as Ten lithely pushed himself up into a normal sitting position, all hints of relaxed ease gone from his expression instantly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yuta-hyung, he said he’d ask,” Donghyuck muttered. “What more can he do?” He knew that Yuta had drunk at least half a beer—that he’d seen; he suspected that number was a lot higher—and he didn't want a repeat of what had almost happened with Jaehyun earlier. He didn't think either of them would want to see what Ten was capable of, as he hopped down off the table and squared up to Yuta.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t you dare—” Ten froze mid-sentence, frown deepening as he gave Yuta a slow once-over. Then he blinked quickly, anger vanishing as he focused on Yuta’s face with renewed interest. “Yuta? As in, Nakamoto Yuta?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes.” Yuta sounded more confused than anything else now, but a hint of his previous irritation still lingered in his tone. “What of it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t believe it,” Ten murmured, scanning Yuta from head to toe once more. “I’ve spoken to you so many times, and I can’t believe that I’ve never once asked you your name.” Yuta didn't say anything in response, apparently struck dumb by the sudden mood swing that had taken place within Ten, so the younger man pressed on. “You’re almost a mythical legend around the performing arts faculty at this point, hyung-nim.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can’t be serious,” Yuta began, but Ten fixed his gaze on Donghyuck next, leaning in like he was about to spill some deep, dark secret.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you know that your Yuta-hyung is one of the best dancers in the whole university?” Ten asked, an almost awed smile on his lips. Donghyuck didn't quite know how to answer that, considering that he knew both of these men were incredible dancers in their own right, but the question had apparently been rhetorical. “He was offered a full scholarship into the dance programme, but he turned it down for—what was it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Biological sciences,” Yuta admitted, his voice oddly subdued as he spoke. Donghyuck twisted in Yuta’s arms until the man freed him, stepping back so that he could see Yuta’s face. The taller man’s expression was shuttered and closed off, but Donghyuck could see a hint of pain in his shadowed eyes. He wondered what could have caused Yuta to give up something he loved like that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s it!” Ten snapped his fingers in acknowledgement. “I entered on the same scholarship a year later and, two years on, people still compare me to what you might have become.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Yuta said quickly. He sounded genuinely apologetic, but Ten dismissed it with a wave of his hands.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine. I’m actually grateful to you, in a way.” Ten smiled up at Yuta, whose frown was firmly back in place. It didn't suit the typically cheerful man, and Donghyuck wanted nothing more than to smooth away the deep frown lines with his fingers. “All their expectations just pushed me to be better. To be worthy of them, you know?” He shrugged, and Yuta cracked a tiny, unbidden smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve seen you perform, Ten-ssi,” he told the younger man, who flushed at his words. “You’re far better than I ever was.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I—uh..” Ten didn't seem to be able to come up with a good response for that statement, so he changed the subject slightly, smoothing his fingers through his short black hair as he spoke. “Do you still dance?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sometimes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Any way I could convince you to join the extra-curricular squad. I swear, with you, we might finally be able to win against—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, thank you.” Yuta’s tone was polite and warm, but decisive. Ten hesitated, expression faltering for a moment, but he didn't give up immediately.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure?” Yuta started to shake his head, but Ten held out a hand. “Hear me out, please.” When Yuta didn't immediately say no again, Ten took it as his cue to start his pitch over. “A group of us meet up casually outside of class to dance together sometimes. It’s only a couple of hours a week at most, and it’s nothing serious, but you’d be more than welcome to join us.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have a lot of classwork,” Yuta said, but Donghyuck noted that he didn't sound as resolute this time. If anything, he sounded scared. His face didn't give much away, but the older man refused to meet his eye when Donghyuck glanced up at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure you’re super busy,” Ten agreed. “You would be under no obligation to come all the time. You could drop by whenever you want. I know the others would be super excited to meet you.” Ten didn't seem to notice, as he switched to English in the middle of the sentence, and, if Yuta picked up on it, he didn't mention it. Instead, the man looked as serious as Donghyuck had seen him here, as he seemed to consider Ten’s words carefully.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What styles do you dance?” Yuta asked eventually, when Donghyuck sensed that Ten was beginning to get antsy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Anything and everything. Mainly urban and hip hop, because that’s what kills at the monthly open showcases.” Ten pursed his lips. “If you have ideas, I’m open to suggestions.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What showcases?” Yuta was doing his best to act like he was uninterested, mildly curious at best, but Donghyuck couldn't miss the way that his whole body was focused in on Ten and he seemed to almost vibrate with anticipatory energy. Yuta was considering Ten’s offer seriously and, while he didn't know why Yuta had declined the dance major in the first place, Donghyuck whole-heartedly supported whatever decision would ultimately make Yuta happy in the long term.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s a bar-slash-club, just off campus, that puts on monthly dance competitions for students. The Blue Rose; you might have heard of it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yuta nodded. “I have. I didn't know they did open stages there, though. Do they get many participants?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A few,” Ten told him. “There are a few regular groups including ours, but it’s always a wash.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Huh?” Donghyuck spoke up for the first time in a while, previously content to just listen to his hyungs talking. “What does that mean?” From the look on Yuta’s face, the older man didn't know either, as they both waited for Ten’s reply.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We always lose,” Ten explained. Donghyuck’s eyebrows rose in surprise, and Yuta mimicked his expression.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How? There can’t be many dancers there that are better than you,” Yuta said earnestly. Ten flushed again and glanced down, unable to look Yuta in the eye at the compliment. Yuta grinned in satisfaction at the effect he had on the younger man and Donghyuck just rolled his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s this one guy who always enters,” Ten said slowly, lifting his head to look at Yuta again. “He’s a bartender there during the day, I think, but I’ve never been in while he’s on shift. He and his brother—well, adoptive brother, I’d guess—have won every single month for the year and a half we’ve been doing the showcases. Every single time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ten had the grace to sound impressed by the feat, instead of bitter or disappointed, but something in the back of Donghyuck’s brain sparked to life at his words. “What are their names?” he asked. Ten paused, head tilting to the side again as he thought hard.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know what, I don’t know,” he said. “They just dance, collect the prize money and leave.” He fixed Donghyuck with a puzzled look. “I can’t believe I’ve never asked before. I do know that sometimes they have a kid with them, though. A teenager. I guess he’d be around your age, actually.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hmm…” Donghyuck had all the pieces of a puzzle within reach, he thought to himself. He just needed to stretch out his hand and collect them, before allowing them to arrange themselves in his mind. It should be so easy, yet it was still just outside the realms of possibility for him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s an incredible performer,” Ten offered, watching Donghyuck’s face carefully. “And his brother does this crazy complicated tumbling thing that’s unlike anything you’ve ever seen. Honestly, the way they perform perfectly in sync like that is incredible to watch.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do they have a stage name?” The answer was so close, Donghyuck was sure of it, if he just kept asking the right questions. He knew that Yuta was watching him now too, and the older man was probably equally confused by his sudden, incessant interest in two complete strangers, but he couldn’t stop yet. He had to know.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Ten said with an apologetic smile. “I don’t remember.” Donghyuck’s heart sank as Ten turned his attention back to Yuta, who had been silent for a few minutes. “Have I convinced you to give us a chance yet, Yuta-ssi? You obviously wouldn’t have to compete if you didn’t want to, but,” he grinned, “I really think we might finally have a shot at winning with you in our group.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure,” Yuta said softly, scratching at the underside of his chin absently with the pad of his thumb. “What do you think, Hyuckie?” He looped his free hand around Donghyuck’s shoulder, pulling him in for what felt like the thousandth hug of the night—not that Donghyuck was counting, or complaining.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why not?” Yuta dropped his chin onto Donghyuck’s shoulder, allowing a little of his weight to press down into the younger boy, and whispered into his ear. “I trust your judgement, little brother.” A proud, effervescent warmth bubbled up in his gut at Yuta’s words and Donghyuck fought the enormous, overwhelming grin that tried to pull at his lips. Ten stared at them curiously, waiting for one of the pair to say something, so he nodded, knowing Yuta would be able to feel the movement.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think you should do it, hyung.” He tilted his head to look Yuta in the eye, and he could see that Yuta was smiling too. “On one condition.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, and what would that be?” the older man drawled, ruffling Donghyuck’s hair affectionately.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You have to invite me to your first competition,” he said simply. “I want to be there to watch when you win.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When they eventually made their way back to the lawn chair where they’d left Dongyoung and Jaehyun, the pair were gone. Yuta checked his phone, finding a missed text from Dongyoung that had been sent from Jaehyun’s room in the Annex—accompanied by a photo of the man fast asleep on the rug next to his bed, hugging a large bottle of water to his chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He refused to get into bed, so we left him there. Idiot.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck laughed when Yuta showed him, making Yuta promise to forward the photo to him for nefarious purposes yet to be determined, and then the two of them headed inside in search of the others. They found Jungwoo and Yukhei in a living room on the second floor, Jungwoo curled up in Yukhei’s lap on a couch as they watched a group of rowdy students playing beer pong on an ancient-looking table-tennis table. Neither seemed to be in a hurry to move, so they left them where they were and went off in search of Donghyuck’s friends.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Renjun was concerned about Jaemin,” Yukhei offered loudly as they left, shouting to be heard over the music and general noise, so Donghyuck quickly pulled out his phone to call his friend. Jaemin didn't pick up at all, the call immediately going to voicemail, and, when it took three attempts for Renjun to answer, Donghyuck started to get a bit worried.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyuck?” It sounded like Renjun was speaking from inside a tunnel buried deep underground, the word muffled and faint, but Donghyuck heaved out a relieved breath at the sound of his friend’s voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Injunie, where are you?” There was a sudden, painful burst of noise, thumping bass and hoarse, screaming voices, and then it was quickly muffled again. Donghyuck thought that Renjun’s fingers must be cupping the speaker, trying to minimise the background noise, and Donghyuck was grateful. It meant that it was hard to hear his friend when he spoke, but his eardrums were somewhat protected.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Upstairs,” he heard Renjun say, then the boy said something else that was unintelligible. Donghyuck jerked his head quickly towards the staircase that led upstairs and Yuta nodded, understanding what he needed without question. They started to climb, heading for the top floor, and Donghyuck turned his attention back to the phone cradled next to his ear as Yuta cleared him a path through the crowds. The noise was getting louder on both ends now, and Donghyuck winced at the onslaught of sensation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What was that, Injun? I couldn’t hear you.” Renjun spoke again, perhaps repeating his previous statement, but the line crackled and broke up, rendering it almost completely impossible to understand. Only one word stood out, and it was one that made Donghyuck’s blood run cold. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Help. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Donghyuck hummed in frustration, mentally urging Yuta to move quicker. “I’m on my way, Renjun-ah. We’ll be there in a minute. Don’t worry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Emerging into the open-plan third-floor living space, it became immediately obvious what Renjun had been so concerned about. Jeno and Renjun stood in the doorway of one of the bedrooms nearest the stairs, watching as a group of rowdy men and women cheered on a figure that stood atop a table, holding a beer bottle aloft like some kind of sword-wielding warrior from an ancient painting. That figure—because, of course, it was—turned out to be Jaemin, who looked like he was about to fall off the table as he revelled in the attention of the crowd surrounding him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What the hell is going on?” Donghyuck came to a stop next to Renjun, who slumped in relief when he saw Yuta appear behind Donghyuck. Jeno had one of Renjun’s hands held tightly in his own, but his attention was fixed on Jaemin, who had just started gyrating to the music in a way that was entirely inappropriate for someone his age. Jeno looked a little dazed as he stared up at the younger boy, but Renjun was entirely focused on the new arrivals.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s been up here the whole time,” Renjun told them, straining to make himself heard. “I didn't even see him leave the group, but then I remembered he mentioned earlier that he wanted to go exploring.” Renjun frowned, eyes briefly flicking over to Jaemin. “I would have gone with him, but I didn't even notice he was missing. Now he’s—” He gestured at Jaemin, who had just been handed a fresh drink by someone in the crowd and was downing it with formidable ease.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay, Injunie,” Donghyuck told the older boy, placing a reassuring hand on Renjun’s shoulder. “Let’s just get him down from there, before he hurts himself.” How that would work he wasn’t entirely sure, but Yuta solved the problem by striding over to the crowd, pushing his way through and scooping Jaemin up by the knees. The boy folded over Yuta’s shoulder like a dead weight, unable to do much more than dump the remains of his drink onto the head of someone nearby, and then Yuta was back with his cargo.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That works,” Donghyuck intoned, blinking up at Yuta, who grinned nonchalantly as though he hadn't just casually stolen an entire human being from the middle of a crowded room. “Do you reckon you can carry him outside like that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They had to take several breaks on their way out to the car—first, to quickly wave goodbye to Jungwoo and Yukhei; second, to give Yuta’s arm a break when Jaemin realised that he was being removed from his fun and tried to wriggle free, and third, when Jaemin puked up in a bush on the front lawn of Epsilon Eta Phi.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eventually, however, they had the boy buckled into the backseat of Donghyuck’s car, flanked on either side by Jeno and Renjun. Jeno had arrived with Yukhei but, considering the way the night had turned out, he thought it best to get a ride home with them, so that Yukhei didn't have to leave early. Donghyuck didn't think any of them really minded leaving, despite the way things had ended, and he strongly suspected that the unpleasant, muffled ringing in his ears would linger with him for a good few days anyway. He also didn't think either he or Renjun would be in a hurry to return to another frat party in the future, which he suspected Jaehyun would be thrilled to hear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was having fun,” Jaemin lamented sadly, leaning over Jeno’s lap to stare blearily out at the house as Donghyuck pulled out onto the street. The party was still in full swing, it having been only about two hours since they’d arrived, and the lights and sound seemed to hypnotise Jaemin. He lunged for the handle of the door and Jeno grabbed his arm, wrapping his fingers tightly around Jaemin’s to prevent him from trying to escape a moving vehicle. On his other side, Renjun did the same with his other hand, linking the trio in a human daisy chain in the backseat as Donghyuck drove.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ll thank us in the morning,” Donghyuck told him, peering into the rearview mirror. Jaemin met his gaze, although his eyelids were already starting to droop as the adrenaline left him and the alcohol sank in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re probably right.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I am?” Donghyuck asked with a laugh, and Jaemin nodded obligingly. His face was completely relaxed now as he fought off sleep, and Donghyuck thought it was the most childlike he’d seen Jaemin in years. The boy was an adorable drunk in this reality too, apparently—when he wasn't dancing on a table to music that would make a stripper’s ears bleed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yup.” Jaemin nodded, a soft, sweet smile spreading across his face. “I love you, Hyuckie. Even if you </span>
  <em>
    <span>are</span>
  </em>
  <span> an alien from another galaxy.” For a moment, the entire car went deadly silent as Donghyuck caught Renjun’s eye in the mirror, and then Jaemin giggled and flopped down heavily onto Jeno’s shoulder. The older boy shifted a little in surprise, but then relaxed under him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love you too, NaNa,” Donghyuck said softly, as Jaemin’s eyes fluttered closed. It reminded him so much of how Jaehyun had fallen asleep earlier that it actually surprised him when Jaemin’s eyes shot back open a moment later, renewed awareness flickering to life in their depths.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Love you too, Renjunie,” he mumbled. He must not have been sure which hand held Renjun, because he flexed the fingers of both hands. Jeno smiled despite himself, and Renjun used his free hand to pat Jaemin’s arm.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love you too, you big doof.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know. I just wish—” Jaemin broke off and Donghyuck almost jumped in, not wanting the moment Jaemin confessed to Renjun to be because he was drunk and half asleep. Fortunately, however, Jaemin seemed to forget what he had been about to say, lifting his head to look Jeno in the eye instead. “And you…”. Everyone around him got very quiet again then, waiting for what he was about to say. Jeno even looked a little scared, but Jaemin just chuffed softly and dropped his cheek back into the older boy’s shoulder. “You’re really pretty...and hot as fuck, but I still don’t like you. Not even a little bit.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That—that was a blatant lie, Donghyuck thought. Clearly, Renjun thought the same thing, because the confusion on his face as he met Donghyuck’s eye was tinged with hope. Donghyuck wasn't sure what that meant for their little group, or even if Jaemin would still stand by that sentiment when sober, but it was better than he could have hoped for. Maybe if Jaemin could learn to get over his dislike of Jeno, he would be able to find a mature way to deal with his feelings for Renjun.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jeno just sat frozen for the longest time, as Donghyuck pulled onto the highway and set the cruise control. There was a hint of pink high on his cheekbones, and he glanced down at Jaemin more times than was strictly necessary. The younger boy had apparently decided that was the bombshell to end his night on and was now sleeping soundly against Jeno, one hand held tightly by each of his companions. It took both of them to shift Jaemin when Jeno left the car outside his house, and Donghyuck was pretty sure he’d never seen someone handle a newborn baby as gently as the way Jeno and Renjun shifted a sleeping Jaemin across onto Renjun’s shoulder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll text to you tomorrow, Renjunie,” Jeno whispered, leaning back into the car to smile down at Renjun. The older boy couldn't move much, for fear of waking Jaemin, so he just smiled back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Goodnight, Jeno-yah.” Jeno nodded to Donghyuck, who sent him a salute and a wink, then he closed the door and headed up his driveway in the dark. Donghyuck twisted in his seat as soon as Jeno disappeared from view and fixed his gaze on Renjun.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, party at Jaehyun’s next weekend?” he asked with a knowing smirk. Renjun scowled at him, leaning forward as if he was going to punch him in the arm, before remembering that he needed to stay still.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not in a million years.” Renjun shuddered, and Jaemin let out a low whine. He stilled. “In fact, never again would be far too soon.” Twenty minutes later, they had Jaemin tucked up in Donghyuck’s bed and he and Renjun had relegated themselves to a double air mattress on the floor. It wasn’t ideal, but Donghyuck didn't find that he minded much, as he felt Renjun curl into him instinctively to snuggle as he slept.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Exhausted, he quickly checked his phone before setting it down, seeing that there was a single notification blinking at him in the dark. It was from Dongyoung, which made him smile until he read it and remembered the suspicion he’d seen etched into Dongyoung’s face before he and Yuta had left to speak to see Ten.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>We need to talk.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dongyoung knew something—or, at the very least, suspected something. Donghyuck wasn't stupid; he hadn't been nearly careful enough in his interactions with Dongyoung, and now the smart man had figured something out. He didn't know how he would fix this, or how much he would end up having to tell Dongyoung, but he hoped that it wouldn’t ruin their fledgeling relationship.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He needed Dongyoung, and not just because of the list in Renjun’s school jacket pocket. He needed him because, whether Dongyoung knew it or not, he was Donghyuck’s brother—as much as Jaehyun was, or Jungwoo, Renjun, Taeil… he could go on, but they were all his brothers. He needed every single one of them, and he wasn't about to lose Dongyoung over this. Not even if he had to tell him the truth.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Progress? Maybe? We can hope! Yuta and Ten needed to have their chat, which I'm glad is finally out of the way. And Jaemin is an adorable doof who just wants to be loved. Hopefully, you guys can start to piece together the mystery a lot better than Hyuck can, since you have a few more pieces available now than he does.</p><p>Side note: I'm starting to realise that this fic is almost certainly going to be more than 200k. We're firmly over the half-way mark now—comfortably!—but there is a lot left to cover. I just hope that's not a problem. I'm trying to write longer chapters where I can, so there are less of them and I get it done sooner, but I don't want to compromise quality or storytelling for efficiency. Hopefully, you all will understand!</p><p>As always, have a wonderful day! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0032"><h2>32. Chapter 32</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This one is a little on the shorter side. I planned to give you the second half of this chapter today too, but I have an important video-call with a work client at 8 am tomorrow morning. Given that I usually stay up editing these things until about 3 am my time, which is often the only time I have left in the day, I figured I needed the sleep instead. Most of you said you didn't especially mind if things took a bit longer, so I'm taking you up on that this time. &lt;3</p><p>Enjoy this little adventure inside Doyoung's brain, as a prelude to the DoHyuck chat you're all waiting for. I'll try not to leave you waiting too long for the rest. :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I’ll be there soon, hyung. I’m sorry!” Kim Dongyoung scoffed, pressing his phone closer to his ear as he navigated around a slow, middle-aged couple in front of him on the sidewalk. The audio coming through the speaker was muffled and there was a dull rumble of passing cars in the background, meaning that Donghyuck was using his phone whilst driving.</p><p> </p><p>“Take your time,” he told the younger boy, shaking his head disapprovingly. “I can wait.” He stopped outside a small cafe, peering up to check the name on the sign above the door. It was the right one, a small, family-owned establishment several miles off-campus, and it matched the address he’d texted over to Donghyuck earlier that morning. He caught the swinging door with his free hand as someone left, stepping inside. “Now, get off your phone. It’s not safe.”</p><p> </p><p>He hung up and tucked the phone into the inner pocket of his jacket, then shrugged the thin fabric off his shoulders. It wasn't especially warm inside the cafe, but the temperature was well-controlled enough that he didn't think he’d get cold while waiting for Donghyuck. The boy had called to let him know that he’d run into traffic on the highway and that he would be running late, but Dongyoung didn't mind all that much. He was in no hurry, now he knew that he would finally get the answers he sought, and he could just as easily wait another half hour to get them.</p><p> </p><p>Selecting a booth by the window, Dongyoung sat down and pulled a menu across in front of him. He made quick work of choosing a drink—there weren’t many ways one could ruin a good quality coffee bean, after all—and pulled out a small notebook and pencil from yet another pocket of his newly folded jacket. He hadn't planned on having this much free time, given the reason for his visit to this cafe in the middle of nowhere—halfway between campus and Neo City—but he was nothing if not prepared.</p><p> </p><p>The pencil was little more than a stub at this point, well-loved and even more well used, but he still managed to twirl it absently through his long fingers as he turned his attention to the other patrons of the establishment. There was an elderly man in the far corner, nursing a large cup of a steaming, pitch-black brew. The man’s face was lined with age, eyes hooded as he appeared to doze off in between sips of the strong drink, but his posture was relaxed and open. This man, whoever he was, had lived a good life, Dongyoung would wager. He was now enjoying the simplest pleasures in life, and Dongyoung couldn't help but think that he had the right idea.</p><p> </p><p>He wrote down his observations in the tiny notebook, hoping that the man wouldn’t look up and notice that he was being stared at. Dongyoung’s gaze didn't linger too much longer, flicking back just long enough to look for a wedding ring on the man’s finger—there was none, but the patch of skin where it should have sat was several shades lighter than the rest of his hand. He frowned, noting that down as well, before moving on to examine the next patron.</p><p> </p><p>Dongyoung didn't always make a habit of prying into other people’s lives for fun, a fact he had tried and failed to explain to Nakamoto Yuta too many times at this point to keep track of. While he did find the challenge of mentally dissecting a human being, based solely on external observations, engrossing, it was more of a requirement than a hobby. As a psychology major, he and his fellow students had often been tasked with completing detailed profiling of strangers over the years and, if Dongyoung had found a natural talent in doing so, something he continued to hone in his spare time, that was no one’s business but his own.</p><p> </p><p>The next person he noticed sat across the room from him, their back to the majority of the other customers. He could see that they had dark hair, cropped neatly at the nape of the neck, a clean white shirt stretched over broad shoulders, and a stature that was significantly diminished by the fact that they were hunched over a book, elbows propped up on the tabletop. Dongyoung immediately dismissed them, if only for the fact that he could see nothing of their face, and shifted his gaze over to a group of four women at the neighbouring booth. Now, these women posed a real challenge, he thought, with their eclectic mix of ethnicities and ages. Dongyoung smiled and tapped his pencil to his bottom lip, as he scanned each face in turn. He relished a healthy challenge while he waited for Donghyuck.</p><p> </p><p>“Welcome, sir. What can I get for you today?” Dongyoung looked up from his increasingly illegible notes at the sound of the waiter’s voice, his order on the very tip of his tongue before he had even taken a good look at the man who now stood over him expectantly.</p><p> </p><p>“Caramel frappuccin—oh!” He halted, mouth opening and closing in shock as he blinked up at the carefully blank expression on the man’s face. There was a brief spark of recognition in an unfamiliar pair of eyes, one which Dongyoung thought reflected his own sentiment perfectly, and he dropped his pencil onto the tabletop with a clatter. “It’s you.”</p><p> </p><p>“I—excuse me?” The other man’s voice was quiet, hesitant in a way that Dongyoung didn't often encounter living in a house with four opinionated young adults—not to mention the hundred others that lived next door, many of whom he was personally responsible for on a daily basis.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ve seen you before,” Dongyoung explained, scanning the man’s face quickly as he spoke. He was sure that it was the same person, that same silhouette in a darkened doorway, despite wanting to forget that whole day when it had first happened. “You’ve visited my philosophy lectures a few times.” The man frowned but didn't make a move to correct him, so Dongyoung took that as confirmation. “You’re Taeyong’s boyfriend, right?”</p><p> </p><p>“Uh…” Whoever he was—and Dongyoung was 99% sure that he was exactly who he thought he was—this man wasn't very talkative, he realised. Dongyoung quickly examined his stance, which was defensive, yet polite, and his posture in the space of a single second, realising that what he had first thought was standoffishness was, in fact, nervousness. This man was wary of him, despite coming over to take his order, and Dongyoung immediately felt bad for making him feel that way.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m Dongyoung,” he offered, reaching out a hand to the man. When he didn't take it, Dongyoung pulled his hand back into his lap, chuckling awkwardly to disguise his discomfort, and then tried again. “You know, you’re not quite as tall in person as I thought you would be.” Genius. This ice breaker would definitely work, he told himself sardonically, as he tried not to cringe himself into oblivion.</p><p> </p><p>“Uh, thanks.” Now the other man looked mildly offended, on top of being scared of him, so Dongyoung sighed and looked away, abandoning his earlier attempts at conversation. Seeming relieved, the other man turned on his heel and started to hurry away, before pausing and returning to Dongyoung’s side a moment later. “I never took your order.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh.” Dongyoung had forgotten about that completely. “Just a caramel frappuccino for now, please.” He indicated the empty chair opposite him and smiled up at the waiter. “My friend will order when he gets here.”</p><p> </p><p>The man nodded curtly and sped off. Dongyoung watched him with interest, even as he knew that his instant fascination with anything even tangentially linked to Taeyong would only lead to trouble. He had been slowly coming to terms with the fact that the object of his affections was otherwise involved, no matter how painful that was to stomach, but watching the man’s boyfriend like a crazed stalker probably wasn't the best way to speed up his recovery.</p><p> </p><p>Instead of heading straight for the register, which was nestled into an alcove beside the serving area, the man took a sharp left halfway across the room and made a beeline for another customer on the other side of the room, the one with a book and his back to Dongyoung. He assumed that they would be asked for their order too, perhaps making the ordering process more efficient for the baristas, so Dongyoung was surprised when the man slid into the seat opposite the customer and tapped their arm lightly.</p><p> </p><p>The book dropped to the table, as the waiter said something too quickly for him to lip read. Then he glanced back up at Dongyoung, who tried to look away in a hurry, only to meet Taeyong’s gaze as he twisted around in his seat to follow his boyfriend’s eye. Taeyong’s warm brown eyes captured his for a moment, neither of them able to look away, and then Dongyoung forced his gaze into his lap, cheeks flaming. He’d just been caught staring, while the waiter presumably told his boyfriend just how much of a creepy weirdo Dongyoung had just been to him—and, well, if the ground wanted to swallow him up for real this time, he’d be eternally grateful.</p><p> </p><p>“Hi.” He didn't look up, praying that Taeyong would take the hint and go back to his table. The last thing he wanted right then was for his goddamn crush to chew him out in front of a cafe full of people for upsetting his boyfriend. He figured there wouldn’t ever be a great time for that, not when he’d have to relive the excruciating embarrassment and humiliation of this moment in his dreams for the rest of his natural life, but he didn't think that the woman celebrating her surprise pregnancy or the two kids in the next booth enjoying their first date would appreciate overhearing any of it.</p><p> </p><p>The chair opposite squeaked against the floorboards, followed by the dull thump of a body dropping into it. A flash of bright white and polished metal swam across Dongyoung’s vision, a thin gold chain draped over a freshly-laundered shirt, and then he could smell him. It wasn’t a strong scent, sweet and almost floral as it tickled the tiny hairs in his nostrils, but Taeyong was leaning in and it was suddenly all he could focus on. He was swimming, or perhaps drowning in Taeyong’s aura, and it was all far too much.</p><p> </p><p>“Doyoung?” His head shot up at the sound of his own bastardised name, the memory of just how badly he’d fucked up when giving it to Taeyong spurring him into action. The older man’s face was just inches from his, body propped up on his forearms as he leant across the table towards Dongyoung. The younger man’s eyes widened at the proximity and he thought he might have even let out a pitiful squeak, although his brain purged that possibility almost as soon as it occurred to him. He slumped back into his seat, putting some space between them, and took in a deep, shaky breath.</p><p> </p><p>“Taeyong-ssi.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hi,” Taeyong repeated, lips curling up into a smile that showcased his teeth. Dongyoung felt himself responding instinctively, almost powerless to resist the sheer magnetism of the man opposite him, but forced himself to maintain control. He didn't want to give Taeyong’s boyfriend—who was now watching them intently from behind the serving counter—any more reasons to dislike him.</p><p> </p><p>“We can speak casually, Doyoung-ah,” Taeyong said, after a moment of silence. Dongyoung blinked slowly, his brain taking a few beats too long to process the older man’s words, but then he nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“Taeyong-hyung.” That was as casual as he was willing to go, for his own sanity. So far in this conversation, Dongyoung realised with chagrin, the only words he had managed were two variations of Taeyong’s name. All other traces of coherent conversation had fled with his arrival, and Dongyoung wondered how long it would take Taeyong to realise he’d likely have a far more satisfying exchange with the wall behind him.</p><p> </p><p>“What brings you here?” Taeyong asked, his smile never dimming or faltering as he stared at Dongyoung with interest. “This cafe is a bit of a trek from campus.” He didn't sound annoyed, so Dongyoung took that as a positive sign.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m meeting a friend,” he offered. “They live in Neo City, so this is roughly halfway for both of us.” He hesitated, glancing over at the man behind the counter again quickly, before looking back to Taeyong. “What brings <em> you </em> here?” Thanking whatever gods existed that he had managed to get out a full sentence without stumbling over the words like a complete idiot, he waited for Taeyong’s reply.</p><p> </p><p>“We live nearby,” Taeyong explained. “I come in a lot when I’m free, especially if Sicheng has a shift.” Dongyoung didn't miss the very particular way that he used the word <em> we </em>, and his eyes narrowed slightly.</p><p> </p><p>“Is your boyfriend going to mind you sitting and talking to me like this?” Taeyong’s expression hardened and his smile dropped, eyes clouding with confusion as he contemplated Dongyoung’s question. The younger man just tilted his head towards the waiter, who still had yet to take his eyes off them, and Taeyong followed the movement, one brow finally quirking in understanding.</p><p> </p><p>“Ah.” Taeyong brightened again, laughing breezily. He raised one hand, waving the other man over again, and Dongyoung blanched. Taeyong must have noticed his panic, because he reached out to pat Dongyoung’s hand reassuringly. “It’s fine. He’s just eager to clear up the confusion.” The server quickly joined them at the table, the scene eerily similar to when he’d first shown up to take Dongyoung’s order, but this time Taeyong grabbed the man’s hand and tugged him close.</p><p> </p><p>“This is Dong Sicheng,” he told Dongyoung. The man in his grip winced, as though he didn't especially appreciate his name being offered up like this, but he didn't say a word. Instead, Taeyong continued, grinning across the table at Dongyoung. “Sichengie is my best friend. More like a brother, honestly.”</p><p> </p><p>“I <em> am </em> your brother,” Sicheng muttered, speaking willingly for the first time since Taeyong had forced him over to them, and Taeyong squeezed his arm affectionately.</p><p> </p><p>“Exactly.” The older man turned his head to fix Sicheng with a knowing stare. “And, at any point in our friendship, have you ever felt anything other than brotherly affection towards me?” Sicheng froze, features scrunching up in disgust, before he shook his head.</p><p> </p><p>“Never.”</p><p> </p><p>“See?” Taeyong turned his attention back to Dongyoung, who sat in stunned silence. The older man patted Sicheng’s hand once more, before releasing him. “You can run away now, Sicheng-ah. I know you desperately want to.” He grinned wickedly, smile broadening even further as the other man took his words at face value and practically sprinted back over to the serving area without another word.</p><p> </p><p>“So, not your boyfriend, huh?”</p><p> </p><p>“Nope,” Taeyong agreed, shaking his head. Dongyoung flushed again, dipping his head down to avoid looking Taeyong in the eye, but the older man leant forward across the table between them and craned his neck until he was peering up at Dongyoung from below. “It was an easy mistake to make, Doyoung-ah. It’s certainly not the first time it’s happened.” Taeyong laughed again. “Don’t worry about it.”</p><p> </p><p>“I shouldn't have assumed…” He was cut off by Taeyong, who took one of Dongyoung’s hands in both of his, pulling it towards him across the table. For a moment, Dongyoung was too stunned to do much more than stare at the way the older man’s fingers curled around his hand, like it was always meant to be that way, and he promptly forgot what he’d been about to say.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s really no big deal,” Taeyong insisted, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. “Honestly, I think Sichengie was the most embarrassed by it.” He paused, glancing over at his brother with a soft sigh. “I love him, but he’s not the most outgoing person in the world. He thought he’d scared you away before. He wanted me to come over and apologise on his behalf, before you refused to speak to me ever again.”</p><p> </p><p>“What?” Dongyoung let out a strangled laugh, the sound almost bitter to his ears as he stared at Taeyong in disbelief. “I thought I’d freaked <em> him </em> out and that he was telling you to stay away from me!” As though in sync, the pair both looked over at Sicheng, who was busy taking an order from another table, and burst out laughing. The situation was so absurd, Dongyoung though, that laughing was all that there was left to do, so he let the sound wash over him. Taeyong had a nice laugh.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>“I’m really sorry, Doyoung-ah, but I need to leave soon.”</p><p> </p><p>Taeyong glanced down at his watch, before shooting Dongyoung an apologetic look. They couldn’t have been talking for more than a few minutes, Taeyong regaling the younger man with a few choice anecdotes about Sicheng and their youngest brother, Jisung, but, for Dongyoung, it could easily have been an hour. He’d lost track of time, revelling in the opportunity to just sit and listen to Taeyong talk, silently taking in the way the man’s eyes glinted and shone whenever he got especially passionate about something. Dongyoung thought he might be content to sit and listen to Taeyong for the rest of his life but, as all good things did, it had to come to an end.</p><p> </p><p>“Busy day?” Glancing down at his own watch, Dongyoung could see that it was just gone noon. Donghyuck was nearly twenty-five minutes late—although Dongyoung couldn’t be more grateful for the traffic right now—and Sicheng was hanging up his apron next to the register. “Is Sicheng’s shift over?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, but he needed to leave early today anyway,” Taeyong said, watching the younger man make his way across the room towards them. Sicheng’s black shirt was covered with assorted liquid stains and smudges, despite the apron he had been wearing over the top, but he didn't seem to mind as he draped himself across the back of Taeyong’s chair and tucked his chin into his brother’s shoulder. “We have to drive to pick up Jisungie from a friend’s house, and then we have a rehearsal all afternoon.”</p><p> </p><p>Dongyoung recalled Taeyong mentioning that all three brothers danced, just like Yuta still did on occasion, so he figured that was what the man was referring to. He nodded, smiling first at Sicheng and then at Taeyong. “It was nice to meet you, Sicheng-ah, and to see you again, Taeyong-hyung.”</p><p> </p><p>Taeyong hesitated, something indecipherable flickering across his face for a moment as he stared at Dongyoung. He reached up behind him to ruffle Sicheng’s hair, shifting so that he was looking at the man over his shoulder. “Can you wait for me outside for a minute?” Sicheng nodded, straightening up and heading for the exit, the small bell above the door jangling softly as he pushed it open and stepped out into the street.</p><p> </p><p>“Everything okay?” Dongyoung asked, frowning at Taeyong. He wondered for a second whether this was the moment when Taeyong would call his bluff, making sure that Sicheng was out of earshot before he told Dongyoung that he didn't want to be friends after all, but then Taeyong surprised him by blushing instead. Even the tips of his ears went pink, leaving Dongyoung scrambling to use his superior—currently malfunctioning—observational skills to decipher Taeyong’s reaction, but then the older man leant back in his chair and cleared his throat.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you think that maybe we could grab that coffee on campus sometime?” he asked, watching Dongyoung’s face carefully for his reaction. “We never got a chance last time, and I’d really like to get to know you better.” He smiled then, and an awestruck Dongyoung thought that it might just be the most beautiful sight he’d ever seen. “I haven’t even asked anything about you yet.”</p><p> </p><p>Dongyoung shrugged. “There’s not much to ask about.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sure that’s not true.” Taeyong hesitated for a moment. “Coffee’s on me, if you’re interested.”</p><p> </p><p>“Absolutely,” Dongyoung answered. “Sounds like a…” He broke off, not wanting to scare Taeyong away by calling it a date. They weren't there yet, he told himself, if there was even a<em> there </em> to get to. He needed to take things slow, just get to know the man fi—</p><p> </p><p>“It’s a date.” Taeyong dug his hand into the pocket of his trousers, pulled out a small square of paper and placed it on the table in front of Dongyoung. The younger man had just enough wherewithal to realise that he had clearly prepared the note ahead of time—although when he’d managed that, Dongyoung had no idea—but then Taeyong was out of his seat and waving goodbye. “Message me,” he called over his shoulder, halfway to the door before Dongyoung had time to raise his hand. Then he was gone, taking Sicheng and most of Dongyoung’s heart with him.</p><p> </p><p>In return, Dongyoung was left with eleven digits neatly scrawled on a piece of paper and the start of something infinitesimally small and hopeful growing deep down inside him.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So, yesterday, we hit 20k+ views on this story. That's nuts in and of itself, and I'm incredibly grateful, but, far more importantly to me, we also hit 400+ unique comment threads this week, which I'm actually floored by. I cherish every single one of them, from the one-liners to the mammoth theory essays. I'm so grateful to all of you who take time to leave them (as well as those who just lurk—you're awesome too), and each comment means the world to me. They say every picture is worth a thousand words. I firmly believe that every comment is worth a thousand kudos, any day of the week!</p><p>Anyway, as always, have a wonderful day! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0033"><h2>33. Chapter 33</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Well, we all know what's coming. The DoHyuck brother-bond is about to get its ultimate test.</p><p>Fair warning: I was fine writing this but then, while editing, I bawled my eyes out twice. I'm sleepy, hormonal and it all came from my brain, so it may not be half as emotional as I think it is, but consider yourselves warned.</p><p>TW: Very brief mention of mental illness within. Not enough to add a tag, I don't think, but be advised if that's a particular trigger for you.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The bell above Donghyuck’s head chimed softly as he pushed open the door to the cafe, hurrying in out of the rain. Once inside, he shook out his damp hair with his fingers and peeled off his now soaked hoodie. The downpour had come out of nowhere and he hadn’t brought an umbrella, leaving him little choice but to run the short distance from the car. Underneath, the grey t-shirt he wore was damp in places, sporadic dark spots dotting the hem and across the chest, but he knew they would dry while he talked to Dongyoung. He suspected that their conversation today would be a long one, especially when he factored in the decision he’d made while stuck in traffic on the way, so he knew there would be plenty of time.</p><p> </p><p>“Over here.” Lifting his head in the direction of the sound, Donghyuck saw Dongyoung waving at him from a small booth by the window. The rain was sheeting down outside now, despite the sunshine still streaming through the gaps in the low cloud cover, and the patterns the droplets made on the glass cast interesting shadows on Dongyoung’s face as he approached. Pulling out the seat opposite the older man, Donghyuck draped the sodden hoodie over the back of it as best he could, then sat down with a groan of satisfaction. He’d been stuck on the highway far too long.</p><p> </p><p>“Hi, hyung,” he said, flashing Dongyoung what he hoped resembled a relaxed, pleasant grin. Inside, he was growing more and more nervous by the second, as he watched Dongyoung close up a small notebook on the table in front of him and slip it into the pocket of his jacket. The man kept the pencil he’d been writing with, twisting it in his fingers like he was equally ill at ease, but there was a secretive smile playing at his lips that didn't seem to be at all related to Donghyuck’s presence. He looked a little spaced out too, and his gaze kept flicking over to an empty booth by the far wall, like something there distracted him. “Is everything okay?”</p><p> </p><p>“Great.” Dongyoung sighed happily, eyes glazing over as he stared unseeing at a spot on the wall just over Donghyuck’s right shoulder. Then he blinked, seeming to shake whatever he had been distracted by out of his mind, and focused on Donghyuck’s face. “I mean… I—uh, fine. I’m fine.” Dongyoung tried to sober, but he couldn't quite wipe the smile off his face.</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t look fine, hyung,” Donghyuck offered helpfully, examining the older man’s face more carefully. Now that he was looking closer, he could see that Dongyoung’s cheeks were a little flushed, and his eyes were bright and over-wide. “You look like you just saw an angel.”</p><p> </p><p>Dongyoung delicately choked on his own tongue for a few seconds, then let out a bark of laughter. “You’re actually not far off there, Hyuck-ah.” When Donghyuck just stared at him, a frown pinching his brows together, Dongyoung sat forward and leant his forearms against the tabletop between them. “I ran into Taeyong this morning.”</p><p> </p><p>“What?” Donghyuck almost jumped out of his seat at that, making the table wobble precariously as he mimicked Dongyoung’s position, arms pressed to the tabletop and body suspended eagerly above it like he might climb over and pounce on the older man at any moment. “When? Where? On your way here?”</p><p> </p><p>“Not exactly,” Dongyoung explained, attention drifting across to the empty table on the other side of the room again. Donghyuck turned to follow his gaze, but there was still nothing there but an empty mug and a crumpled napkin. “He was here, waiting for his brother to finish his shift. His brother works in the cafe.” The news that Taeyong had a brother in this reality wasn't especially surprising, considering that Donghyuck, too, had several family members here that he’d not been blood-related to his own reality, so he quickly filed that particular piece of information away under the man’s name in his mind. He wondered absently if he’d ever met Taeyong’s brother before. Perhaps, given the similarities that seemed to exist between here and home, it was someone else from the company.</p><p> </p><p>“I thought he was in your classes,” Donghyuck said thoughtfully, when Dongyoung didn't immediately elaborate. He suspected that there was more to the story, considering the way that Dongyoung had started to practically vibrate in his seat, but he was staying quiet for the time being. “It’s a bit far from campus here, isn’t it?” He knew that some college students lived off-campus; WinWin, Jisung and their brother were a good example of that—Donghyuck thought they lived somewhere near here actually, come to think of it—but the rest of his hyungs lived much closer to the university.</p><p> </p><p>“He is. Apparently, they live around here because it’s closer to the high school that their youngest brother goes to.” Dongyoung broke off, thinking hard, before he continued a little more hesitantly. “They only left a few minutes ago, actually. You just missed them. They said they needed to pick him up from a friend’s house, before they went to some dance rehearsal. Taeyong-hyung mentioned him several times, so I really should remember his name. I think it was—”</p><p> </p><p>Three things became immediately clear in Donghyuck’s mind, as he processed Dongyoung’s words. First, he was an idiot. For someone who prided himself on being observant, it had taken him an embarrassing length of time—not to mention several monumentally huge clues dangled right in front of his face—to figure out the truth.</p><p> </p><p>Second, Dongyoung wasn’t telling him the whole truth. The dreamy, faraway look on his face as he talked about Taeyong—even if it was just recounting a tiny, inconsequential tidbit of information the older man had offered him—was not new to Donghyuck. He knew that Dongyoung was whipped for Taeyong, he had known that for a while, but Dongyoung had always been somewhat subdued and self-deprecating when it came to the prospect of actually interacting with the man. The cheesy, toothy grin that graced his face now was something entirely different, and Donghyuck was going to get to the bottom of it—right after he addressed point number three.</p><p> </p><p>Third, with special reference back to point one, Taeyong was unequivocally Jisung’s brother—and, by extension, WinWin’s brother too. The coincidences were just too striking to ignore and, honestly, now it had finally occurred to him, it all suddenly made sense. He recalled Jisung in the drama studio, dropping his phone at the mention of Taeyong’s name. Taeyong, missing class on the evening of Jisung’s showcase. The face in the crowd that he’d sworn he recognised—Taeyong’s face; he could see it now, as clearly as if he’d stepped back into his own memories. How could he possibly have missed it?</p><p> </p><p>“Jisungie,” he said. Dongyoung’s gaze snapped up to meet his, mouth falling open in surprise. In truth, he hadn’t meant to say the name aloud, but it didn't really matter anymore. He’d had a good amount of time in the car today, alone with his thoughts, and he’d already made his decision.</p><p> </p><p>He didn't know how much Dongyoung knew, if anything at all, but Donghyuck was ready to spill everything. He loved Jaemin and Renjun for supporting him, for doing everything they could to help him out, but this was so much bigger than the three of them now. He didn't know what the consequences might be, but his gut told him that he needed Dongyoung. He needed his hyungs on his side and, if anyone was smart enough to figure this out, it was the brilliant man sitting opposite him.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s right,” Dongyoung told him, staring unabashedly into Donghyuck’s eyes. “He said his name was Jisung. How did you—?”</p><p> </p><p>“That means you also met WinWin-hyung,” Donghyuck interjected. When Dongyoung didn't immediately react to the name, he realised his mistake. “Sicheng-hyung. Does he go by Dong Sicheng here, or does he use Taeyong-hyung’s family name?”</p><p> </p><p>“How—?” Dongyoung paused, blinking rapidly as he stared at the younger boy. He didn't speak for a few long moments, then he shook his head and chuckled low in his throat. “We’re not about to pretend that what just happened was normal, right?”</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck shrugged, more to give himself something to do than out of any actual sense of nonchalance. He clasped his fingers together in his lap, squeezing tightly enough that he knew it would leave a bruise, and prayed to anyone who might be listening that he wasn't making a huge mistake. “It’s probably a bit late for that now.”</p><p> </p><p>“I have so many questions.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’d be disappointed if you didn't, hyung,” he said wryly and Dongyoung actually cracked a smile, despite the fresh tension between them. Donghyuck <em> would </em> answer all of them, he had promised himself that much on the drive over, but he had one of his own first. He knew it would likely get forgotten afterwards, considering the way that the others had reacted to his revelation, and he wasn't quite ready to abandon his own suspicions just yet. “Before you do though, what actually happened between you and Taeyong? You’re definitely not telling me everything.”</p><p> </p><p>For a moment, Dongyoung looked torn between answering and turning the focus back onto Donghyuck again, but then he blushed and dropped his gaze into his lap. “He asked me to get coffee with him.”</p><p> </p><p>“Wow. That’s great, hyung!” When Dongyoung didn't look up, despite the colour blooming in his cheeks and spreading out towards his ears, Donghyuck realised that he was going to work hard to get anything of the older man today. He supposed that he shouldn't be surprised that Dongyoung was somewhat distracted, but he was impatient when it came to his hyungs’ happiness. “So, is it a date? You—you<em> did </em> say yes, didn't you?”</p><p> </p><p>At that, Dongyoung’s head snapped up, and the acerbic man Donghyuck knew so well shone through for a moment as he scoffed loudly, lips curling at the corners in distaste. “Of course I did. I’m not that pathetic, Hyuck.” As quickly as it had arrived though, the snark vanished without a trace and Dongyoung sighed heavily. “I think it’s a date. He said it was a date, but I don’t know if I’m overthinking it. People use that word sometimes, just because—”</p><p> </p><p>“Hyung, you’re definitely overthinking this,” Donghyuck told him firmly, reaching a hand out towards him across the tabletop. Dongyoung didn't take it, not that Donghyuck had really expected him to, but he did lift his head again and fix Donghyuck with a determined stare.</p><p> </p><p>“You might be right,” he admitted, “but that’s enough about my love life—or lack thereof. Let’s set Taeyong aside for now, and focus on whatever is going on with you.” That would be easier said than done, Donghyuck thought to himself, once they got into the specifics, but he didn't mention it. There would be time enough for Dongyoung to freak out about that particular detail later.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s fair. How do you want to do this?” He was aware that it sounded like they were hammering out the details of some kind of business arrangement between the two of them, instead of having a potentially awkward conversation with his brother’s roommate about parallel universes, but Donghyuck wasn't sure how to start. From the shrug Dongyoung offered him, apparently neither was he. “Do you want to ask me questions, or would you prefer me to just talk?”</p><p> </p><p>He fervently hoped that Dongyoung would choose the first option, since he had no idea what he was going to say, but they were provided with a brief respite when a server appeared at Donghyuck’s elbow to take his order. Dongyoung’s drink had grown cold while he’d been waiting—and definitely not because he’d been distracted by a certain charismatic dancer—so he ordered another, and Donghyuck requested their largest jug of water. He figured he was going to need it, so he was grateful when it arrived within minutes.</p><p> </p><p>“How about I tell you what I know, and you stop me if I’m wrong,” Dongyoung suggested, once he had a steaming cup of coffee clutched in his fidgeting fingers. His expression was carefully neutral, but Donghyuck could see the way that his hands shook as he lifted the porcelain to his lips. He was as nervous as Donghyuck felt, the younger boy realised, which oddly put him a little bit at ease.</p><p> </p><p>“Sure.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay.” Dongyoung hesitated for a few moments, considering his words, and then fixed his gaze on Donghyuck’s face. “So I guess we should start with the obvious. You knew Taeyong-hyung’s brother’s names before I did, but you’ve never met him. That shouldn’t be possible.”</p><p> </p><p>“Technically, you’re right,” Donghyuck agreed. “I’ve not met Taeyong yet.”</p><p> </p><p>“True, but also not true at the same time,” Doyoung intoned, frowning as his eyes flitted across Donghyuck’s torso and back up to his face. He seemed to examine every inch of the younger boy in an instant, inside and out, cataloguing it all in his mind. Donghyuck couldn't even deny his statement. He had vowed full honesty, he reminded himself, even if Dongyoung left this table thinking he was insane.</p><p> </p><p>“What about Ten?” Dongyoung continued, propping his chin up on his hand so he could watch Donghyuck more comfortably. “I actually asked him, after you left the party last night, you know? I came back to look for you, before I messaged, and I found him instead. He’d never seen you before.”</p><p> </p><p>“He wouldn’t have.” Donghyuck sighed, scrubbing a hand across his face wearily. This had the potential to go around in circles all afternoon, and he still didn’t know how much the older man really knew. “We’d never met before that night, but I probably know him better than ninety percent of the people who were there. Or, rather, I know a version of him.”</p><p> </p><p>“That actually makes sense, weirdly,” Dongyoung said slowly, pressing his lips into a tight line as he maintained eye contact just long enough to make Donghyuck uneasy. He looked away when it felt like Dongyoung was scooping out the inside of his brain with a melon baller, and took a deep breath. “At least, I think it does. Either that or I’m losing it.”</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck snickered softly at that, despite himself. “You’re not crazy. That would actually make more sense than the truth.”</p><p> </p><p>“I—” Dongyoung paused again, observing him curiously. “I should have figured out something weird was going on from the start. Do you remember when we started getting to know each other over text, just after we met?” Donghyuck nodded, not at all surprised by this development—he’d suspected Dongyoung of fishing for information even back then, so this was just confirmation.</p><p> </p><p>“You asked so many random questions.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know,” Dongyoung agreed. “At first, I was just curious. I’ll admit that I wanted to find out what kind of person you were, what kind of mind you had. I’m quite good at reading people, so I figured maybe I could find out why your relationship with Jaehyun fell apart.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t blame you.” If he only knew himself, he’d tell Dongyoung everything, Donghyuck thought.</p><p> </p><p>Dongyoung hummed in agreement, before continuing. “I wanted to help, to maybe fix things between you, so I pried. You let me.” Dongyoung smiled then and it was genuine, if a little hesitant. “I started to cheat, asking you and Jaehyun the same questions, so I could catch you in a lie.”</p><p> </p><p>“You can’t lie about what you don’t know,” Donghyuck said flatly. Dongyoung’s eyebrows rose as he processed that, but he didn't otherwise react. It was as though he had tucked the factoid neatly into his narrative, using it to fill in the missing parts of his theory. Once again, Donghyuck was reminded just how smart Dongyoung was, and the tension eased inside him a little. Dongyoung would understand. He had to.</p><p> </p><p>“Your answers were perfect, by the way,” Dongyoung told him conversationally. “Unnaturally so. It was like you were reciting a textbook version of your own life. No one puts that much detail into an answer to a question about their favourite vacation as a child.”</p><p> </p><p>“I <em> told </em> Renjun that story about the turtles was overkill,” Donghyuck muttered, mostly to himself, but, of course, Dongyoung caught it too. Donghyuck looked up at the man across the table from him and shrugged. “I tried.”</p><p> </p><p>“Renjun, huh? Interesting.” Dongyoung tapped his chin thoughtfully. “Do you remember anything?” That was such an insightful question that it threw Donghyuck for a moment, freezing him in place as he tried to figure out how to tell the whole truth without overwhelming Dongyoung.</p><p> </p><p>“Not beyond the last few months.” He shrugged. It wasn't quite that simple, but they would get into the rest when Dongyoung was ready, and not a minute before.</p><p> </p><p>“That makes sense, considering that’s around when you started to patch things up with Jaehyunie.” Dongyoung sighed, looking suddenly very sad. “I guess that means you don't remember why you two fought in the first place.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s okay. I was hoping, but there’s not much either of us can do about that now,” Dongyoung said. “Anyway, that’s about it. How did I do?”</p><p> </p><p>“A lot better than Renjun,” Donghyuck offered, trying to lighten the somber mood that seemed to have settled over them like a dark cloud. “He thought I was an alien.” He paused. “Actually, what do you think? You are well within your rights to suggest a trip to the hospital.”</p><p> </p><p>“I considered it,” Dongyoung admitted, sounding more like Renjun in that moment than Donghyuck thought possible, “but that doesn't explain Ten—or Taeyong-hyung. You shouldn't be able to know any of that. There’s something...more going on. I just don't know what.” He shot Donghyuck an expectant look, one that all but demanded answers, and the younger boy sighed again. Now it was his turn, and he would either gain a valuable ally today or potentially ruin his future relationships with all of his hyungs in one fell swoop.</p><p> </p><p>It took a few false starts—and enough heartstopping silences to give him nightmares—for him to get through it all, but, over the next hour, he spilled every single detail of his situation to Dongyoung. From the moment he woke up in Neo City, right up until the present day, he left out nothing, or nothing that pertained directly to him. He glossed over the relationship struggles that his friends were dealing with, figuring that Dongyoung didn't need to hear all of those gory details, but everything else was fair game.</p><p> </p><p>The older man listened intently, asking occasional questions for clarification whenever he needed to. Donghyuck couldn't tell what was going on inside his head, and the expression on Dongyoung’s face was utterly unfathomable, but he almost didn't care anymore. It was like a flood gate had burst open inside him, unleashing every pent up emotion, thought and anxiety he’d experienced since he’d arrived in this reality. They flowed out of him freely, the words tumbling out without him considering them with much scrutiny. He was sure it wasn't the most eloquent he’d ever been but Dongyoung didn't say anything, and he wasn't sure he could stop even if he tried.</p><p> </p><p>When Donghyuck was done, he slumped back into his chair, any energy he’d once had now completely spent. He felt strangely empty, like he’d just spilled his insides out in front of the man across from him. He guessed he had in a way, and it was equal parts cathartic and terrifying to have everything out in the open like this, for Dongyoung to dissect with that penetrating gaze of his. For a long time, the older man said nothing, eyes darting across the smooth surface of the tabletop like he was mentally putting pieces of a puzzle together, but then he focused back on Donghyuck again.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyuck-ah.” Donghyuck’s tender heart plummeted into the ground beneath his seat at the dubious tone in Dongyoung’s voice. Before the man said another word, he already knew what the outcome would be, and it promised to shatter him into smithereens. “You have to know how all this sounds—”</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t believe me.” It wasn't a question, but he couldn't keep the gut-wrenching disappointment out of his voice regardless. Of course, Dongyoung didn't believe him. Who would? He wouldn't have believed it himself, if he hadn't lived it. Even Jaemin had needed proof, although that proof had been decidedly dairy-centric. Only Renjun had taken the dive without a push, and Donghyuck still wasn't sure how that miracle had happened.</p><p> </p><p>“I want to,” Dongyoung told him earnestly. “I believe that <em> you </em> believe it. There’s no way you could lie that convincingly for an hour straight if you didn't, but that doesn’t make it real. You said you didn't remember anything before a few months ago; that can be a sign of severe cognitive trauma, Hyuck. You could be—”</p><p> </p><p>“I could be crazy. I know,” Donghyuck agreed. It was a possibility that had occurred to him several times before, mostly during the first few sleepless nights while he’d waited to escape back to the dorms and his family, but, as Dongyoung had said himself, some things just didn't add up. “What about Ten? Or Taeyong? If I was suffering from—what was it? Severe cognitive trauma—how would I know all of the things I told you?”</p><p> </p><p>It wasn't just about Taeyong and Ten anymore; they both knew that. Donghyuck had told Dongyoung things about himself that even his roommates didn't know. Not all of it had proved true about this Dongyoung, but some of it had to have rung true somewhere deep down. Donghyuck had seen it in his eyes; he knew he had. He felt a trickle of panic and fear creep up his spine, as Dongyoung’s face crumpled in confusion and indecision.</p><p> </p><p>The older man looked almost pained as he considered the question, but there was still lingering, stubborn disbelief in the depths of his eyes. Donghyuck wasn't sure anything could change that, and that was the worst possible outcome from this. He would inevitably have to tell Jaehyun, who would tell his parents, and they would have him sectioned or wors— “I don’t know.”</p><p> </p><p>“What?” Donghyuck asked. Dongyoung’s voice had been soft, almost inaudible, but the turmoil in his tone was almost worse than the disbelief.</p><p> </p><p>“I know that’s ridiculous, Hyuck, but I really don’t know. None of this makes any sense, but I’m a psych major. I’m trained to deal in facts, in absolutes and qualifiable, observational evidence, and this is so beyond all of that.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know. I wish I had something more solid, some way to prove myself to you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Unfortunately, life rarely works out that way,” Dongyoung offered sagely. He fell silent for a moment, then seemed to think of something. His eyes lit up, and Donghyuck couldn't help the tiny flicker of hope, even if that was entirely ridiculous. “You mentioned a list. That’s tangible, or as tangible as we’re going to get. Could I see it?”</p><p> </p><p>So much for that hopeful feeling, Donghyuck thought miserably, as he pictured Renjun’s school blazer. It was probably on the floor in his friend’s room right now, or at the dry cleaners. “Renjun has it,” he told Dongyoung. “It’s got a few stains on it—Jaemin almost dropped it into my dad’s coffee maker last week—but I can get it. Will that help?”</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck pulled out his phone, gesturing with it to let the older man know that he was willing to ask, but Dongyoung shook his head. “It’s fine. It’s not like I can carbon date the thing anyway.”</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck nodded, tapping half-heartedly as he listened. The screen lit up, highlighting the notes app that had been open the last time he’d picked the device up. He’d been stuck in traffic, imagining the myriad ways this conversation could go, and he’d had the note Renjun had written all those months ago open on his lap. The one with a copy of the names on, minus the adjustments and corrections that had been made to the physical copy over time.</p><p> </p><p>“I forgot,” he said quickly, flipping the phone around in his palm and pushing it across the table to Dongyoung. The man looked puzzled but accepted the device. “There’s a copy of the list on here. Not quite as real as you wanted, but still.”</p><p> </p><p>Dongyoung looked like he was about to say something, but then he diverted his attention to the list in his hands, scanning it quickly. He paused halfway down, biting his lip as he studied what Donghyuck thought was likely his own name. Then his gaze moved on, tracing the pixelated text until he reached the bottom.</p><p> </p><p>“This one,” he said after a few seconds of quiet contemplation. He angled the screen so both of them could see it, and let his thumb hover over one of the names towards the top of the list. “Seo Youngho. Johnny.” He glanced up to look at Donghyuck, a question in his eyes that the younger boy couldn't begin to unravel.</p><p> </p><p>“What about him?”</p><p> </p><p>“You said he was missing, right?” Donghyuck nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah. Him and Mark.”</p><p> </p><p>“Because they were the people you spoke to just before you woke up here?” Donghyuck made a non-commital noise but that was the gist of one of the many theories he’d told Dongyoung about, courtesy of Renjun’s never-ending genius and imagination.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s one explanation,” Donghyuck agreed. He shrugged, and Dongyoung frowned. “It’s as good as any of the other ideas we’ve managed to think up. Either way, no one here has heard of either of them.” He paused, eyeing Dongyoung curiously. “Do you know him, hyung?”</p><p> </p><p>“No.” Dongyoung looked away from the younger boy, which seemed like a strange reaction, but Donghyuck didn't think he was lying. Instead, he just seemed troubled, and Donghyuck wondered if he was starting to test his hyung’s patience.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry,” he started to say, “I didn’t mean to—” Dongyoung waved away his apology, an understanding smile on his face.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not your fau—wait.” Donghyuck immediately did as he was told, falling deadly silent as the older man picked up his phone once more and brought it closer to his face, peering at it intently. The room around them still hummed with noise, Donghyuck knew that, but it felt like the very air around their table froze in place. He thought he might even have stopped breathing, focused solely on Dongyoung, so he didn't miss the moment that a single, viscous tear forced itself free and rolled unheeded down the man’s face.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s wrong?” Suddenly, he was far less interested in convincing Dongyoung of the truth and far more focused on the man slowly breaking down in front of him. Another tear quickly joined the first  and Dongyoung looked up to stare at him, a flood of conflicting emotions warring for dominance on his face.</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing,” Dongyoung said softly, swiping at his damp cheek. “I—Hyuckie, this list was written months ago.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know.” He’d told Dongyoung that much already, so it certainly wasn't news to him. It also didn't explain the drastic shift in the man’s countenance, or the way he was suddenly looking at Donghyuck like he was finally seeing him for the first time. “I told you.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know, but I didn’t believe it before.” He turned the phone again, so Donghyuck could see the place he now pointed to. The app had a small date stamp in the top right-hand corner, one which indicated that the note had not been edited for several months. It tied in with his story, which made sense since it was the truth, but that still didn't explain anything. He’d told Dongyoung about all the names earlier, and it hadn't convinced him then.</p><p> </p><p>“I still don’t—”</p><p> </p><p>“You wrote Doyoung,” the older man said sharply, shocking Donghyuck into silence. “You wrote this list over a month before you and I met for the first time, and you wrote Doyoung. No-one has ever called me that before; not even my mom.” He cleared his throat, swiping at another stray tear aggressively, then passed the phone back to Donghyuck. “There is not a single reason I can conjure up as to how you could have known that, even if Jaehyun had somehow mentioned me before. Therefore, as hard as this is to say out loud, if I remove the impossible, whatever remains…”</p><p> </p><p>“However improbable, that must be the truth,” Donghyuck finished for him, recalling how Renjun had used the exact same logic all those weeks ago. It was a bit clinical for his liking, but he couldn't argue with the logic of it. “What does that mean, exactly?”</p><p> </p><p>“It means, Donghyuck—or perhaps I should say Haechan—that I owe you an apology.”</p><p> </p><p>What followed, although Donghyuck couldn't bring himself to regret it, was a certified mess of tears, unintelligible mumbling and a bone-crushing hug that he never wanted to end. Dongyoung apparently felt the same way, because Donghyuck ended up in his hyung’s lap, face plastered into the older man’s shirt as he struggled to regain dominion over his tear ducts.</p><p> </p><p>The waiter, followed by three separate customers, had been by to see if everything was okay, but Dongyoung had sent them away with the same whispered reassurance. “My brother and I have been apart for a long time. These are tears of joy, because we’re finally together again.” It didn't quite assuage the deluge of tears—Donghyuck really needed to stop crying every time; he would work on that tomorrow—and yet, every single time Dongyoung called him brother, the flood of ecstasy that washed over him was enough to take his breath away. If the older man hadn't been holding him, it would have brought him to his knees, but Dongyoung didn't let him fall apart. Not irreparably.</p><p> </p><p>“Does Jaehyunie know?” They’d been sitting in peaceful silence for a while, Dongyoung nursing his third attempt at a hot drink with his free hand, but the question chilled Donghyuck to his core. That was the remaining elephant in the room, the one he knew would make itself known to the older man eventually, but he’d been hoping for more time.</p><p> </p><p>“No,” he admitted, pressing his cheek into Dongyoung’s collarbone. He wanted to bury all the way inside and run from this conversation, but knew that it wasn't something he could ignore forever. “I want to tell him, but I don’t know where to start. It was hard enough to tell you..”</p><p> </p><p>“I understand.” Dongyoung placed his coffee back onto the table and smoothed his fingers through Donghyuck’s hair gently, gazing down at him with something akin to affectionate concern in his expression. “You know you have to tell him though, right? If you’re correct about all of this, about how it all ends, you’re going to lose him anyway. He’s going to lose you.” He hesitated, and Donghyuck closed his eyes so that he wouldn’t have to see the pain reflected back at him. “He deserves to know.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know.” Donghyuck did know; Dongyoung wasn't saying anything that he hadn't thought himself dozens of times before, but that didn't make it any less difficult to put into action. “Believe me, I know. I’ll tell him, but you need to give me more time. I’m not ready yet. I—I can’t.” His breath hitched, and Dongyoung squeezed him tighter before he could break all over again.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s okay,” the older man murmured, leaning in so that Donghyuck could hear him clearly, even speaking as quietly as he was. “I won’t force you, and I won’t speak to anybody about this until you’re ready, but you’re going to have to bite the bullet eventually. I can’t stand by and watch my friend get his heart broken again. I’m sorry, Hyuck-ah, but I won’t.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s the last thing I want, hyung. I swear.”</p><p> </p><p>“I believe you.” That was the crux of it, Donghyuck thought to himself, as he let Dongyoung hold him—just like his Doyoung had done when they were trainees and Donghyuck found himself in distress. Dongyoung believed him. Dongyoung knew the entire, ugly truth, and he was on Donghyuck’s side. He would have to deal with Jaehyun soon enough—it wasn't fair to his brother to keep this from him for much longer—but he wasn't alone. He had Renjun, Jaemin and now Dongyoung to help him figure things out. His family was a little different here, but they cared all the same.</p><p> </p><p>With them by his side, everything would be okay.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thoughts? Comments? Let me know, if you feel like sharing. (People have even been dropping by to answer each other's questions down there lately too, which is really awesome. Know that I absolutely adore you all for that!)</p><p>Next chapter, I haven't quite decided but I think we're going to check back in with the Hades Throuple (NoRenMin—coined in the comments, this nickname is now firmly stuck in my head, so I'm rolling with it). :)</p><p>As always, have a wonderful day! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0034"><h2>34. Chapter 34</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Another relatively short chapter today (another half-chapter, in truth, which will be completed tomorrow), because I had to work a Saturday morning for the first time in a few months today. I have all day free tomorrow though, so I'll make it up to you all! :)</p><p>Anyway, we're back with our Hades Throuple this time, who are all as hopelessly clueless as ever...until they're suddenly not. The pivotal moment of their arc is coming tomorrow, before I consider letting them be a little bit happy. I don't know about you, but it feels like it's about time.</p><p>Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>All things considered, Renjun thought, as he sat back in his chair in the art studio and watched his friends laugh and joke with one another, the last few weeks had been relatively relaxing. There was the small matter of the rapidly impending musical to consider—over which almost everyone involved seemed to be stressing every five minutes—as well as the academic side of his life continuing to pile on the pressure, but he couldn't really complain.</p><p> </p><p>He, Jaemin and Donghyuck had somehow become closer than ever, following their eventful night out on Greek Row. Jeno and Yukhei seemed to have slotted themselves effortlessly into his wider friendship circle, even sitting with them at lunch on occasion. Plus, he currently had a comically large paintbrush in his hands, as he lazily filled in the outline of a horse on a piece of plywood. Things were pretty good right now, from where he sat.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, Renjunie? What’s the best way to get, uh…” Distracted, he glanced up at the sound of Jaemin’s voice, seeing the younger boy peering down at a half-empty tube of blue paint frantically. “...acrylic paint out of a white shirt?” Jaemin looked over at him and pouted, expression already both contrite and pleading before Renjun could even react, as if begging the older boy to save him from himself. He had a small, brightly coloured stain over the right breast pocket of his uniform shirt, which he was attempting to swipe at with a paper towel to minimal effect.</p><p> </p><p>“Jaemin-ah!” Rolling his eyes and setting his current work-in-progress aside for a moment, Renjun quickly made his way over to the hapless boy and pulled his hand away from the fabric firmly. Behind them, he heard Yukhei let out a strangled bleat of laughter, as the senior boy finally registered what was going on, but he ignored it and started to drag Jaemin across the room towards the washbasins lining the back wall. “You need to soak it before it stains, idiot. I swear, you’d paint your own eyeball if I wasn’t babysitting you constantly.”</p><p> </p><p>“Now, <em> that </em> I’d pay to see.” Jaemin stopped in his tracks immediately, dragging Renjun to a halt as he turned to glare daggers at the smug-faced boy behind them. Perched on top of a workbench alongside Yukhei, Jeno snickered at the disgruntled look on Jaemin’s face, leaning back onto his palms against the desk as he watched them with detached interest. Renjun felt a momentary twinge of worry over how Jaemin might react, gaze flicking quickly up to his friend’s face and then back to Jeno, but then the boy beside him cracked a wicked smile and stuck his tongue out petulantly.</p><p> </p><p>“At least I didn't try to eat the stuff last week,” Jaemin muttered, casting Yukhei a furtive glance before he allowed Renjun to continue leading him over towards the nearest sink. The senior boy let out a half-hearted groan of protest before Jeno cut in again.</p><p> </p><p>“He’s not wrong, hyung. You did do that.” Jeno paused for a moment, and Renjun used his free hand to turn on first the hot water tap and then the cold, letting the two streams mix together as they swirled around inside the small metal basin. “Why <em> did </em> you do that again?” Renjun kept one hand firmly on Jaemin’s arm, fingers tangled loosely into his shirt sleeve. He didn't think Jaemin would actually make a run for it, not with an unsightly blue splatter slowly seeping through his shirt and into his skin, but Renjun didn't especially want a playfight to break out between him and Yukhei at this exact moment. </p><p> </p><p>“I told you, I wanted to see what it tasted of.” Renjun held back his smirk and pointed imperiously at the sink, indicating to Jaemin that he needed to make use of it. Jaemin didn't say anything and just started to unbutton his shirt slowly, so Renjun turned back towards the others to give him some privacy. Jeno was laughing at Yukhei now, who had the gall to look mildly offended. Neither of them was doing anything productive—if you didn't count glueing anything spare they could find in the supply cupboard to a sheet of A3 construction paper as productive—and they had to be disturbing the peace of the other students working around them, but Renjun couldn't bring himself to care much about propriety anymore.</p><p> </p><p>It had been a week and a half since the frat party when Jaemin had gotten drunk and told Jeno he thought he was attractive. Renjun had been concerned that the younger boy’s surprise confession would have made things even more awkward between the two of them, but, if anything, it seemed to have had the opposite effect. He didn't know if Jaemin even remembered saying it and, if Jeno had thought it was odd, he hadn't brought it up either. There was still a good amount of tension between the two of them, something Renjun had yet to fully figure out, but here they both were, cracking jokes and talking casually.</p><p> </p><p>After Donghyuck had bowed out of art sessions a few weeks back, citing increased cast rehearsals as his excuse—although Renjun thought it was more likely to avoid having to watch his friend pine pathetically over his crush for an hour a week—Renjun had had exactly half an hour of peace alone with Jeno the following Thursday afternoon. Then Yukhei had crashed the studio again, claiming that he had nothing better to do on a Thursday evening than <em> paint trees and shit </em>. Renjun had been a little disappointed at first, he couldn't lie, but then he’d realised just how much fun the older boy was to be around.</p><p> </p><p>Most recently, Jaemin had started turning up out of the blue, after his regular Thursday dance rehearsal had been shifted forward a day to accommodate some of the seniors taking other extra-curriculars. During that first session, Jaemin had spent most of the hour watching the other three boys unabashedly, as if trying to fathom out the dynamic that existed between them. However, recently, he’d dived head-first into their interactions, making Yukhei and Jeno laugh more times in each hour than Renjun thought strictly possible, given the abysmal quality of his jokes.</p><p> </p><p>Renjun knew that, whatever was going on with Jaemin, it hadn't completely disappeared from the boy’s mind with their newfound companionship. More than once, he’d seen the way Jaemin watched Jeno when he thought no one was looking, a detached sort of sadness in his eyes. The only explanation he’d been able to come up with so far was that Renjun had yet another rival for Jeno’s attention—indeed, in one drunk evening, Jaemin had been far more upfront with his feelings than Renjun had managed to be in weeks—but that didn't seem to ring perfectly true either. Either way, he knew he needed to figure something out soon, before things had the chance to come to a head again. Renjun still hadn't forgotten the pain of the last time they’d fought, and he didn't want to have to go through that again.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not coming off,” Jaemin whined, tapping him on the shoulder. Realising that he’d spaced out, Renjun turned to see Jaemin had the shirt proffered in his direction, an even bigger, washed-out blue stain now covering most of the right half. Jaemin stood in just a thin, white sleeveless undershirt—which had a similar cobalt patch around the neck as well—and he was shivering from the wintry breeze that blew in through the open window.</p><p> </p><p>“What did you do to it?” Renjun asked in despair, eyeing the rapidly expanding bloom of colour. Jaemin gestured half-heartedly towards the sink and then pouted. Sighing, Renjun took the shirt from him and gently elbowed the younger boy out of the way, pushing the fabric back down under the spray. “Go and find me a small scrubbing brush,” he instructed Jaemin, staring intently down at the shirt. Then he thought better of it, and clarified. “A clean one!”</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Twenty minutes later, all four of them carefully manoeuvred Renjun’s plywood masterpiece into the supply cupboard, erecting the newly laminated <em> wet paint </em> signs around it as they had been instructed by the art teacher in charge. It wasn't the only large item currently stacked carefully into a makeshift, oversized drying rack at the far end of the small closet, but it was the only one that Renjun had painted himself, so he made sure it was well protected before he allowed the others to escape from their transportation duties.</p><p> </p><p>“I still don’t know how you manage to make your art look so real,” Yukhei told him, as they made their way back to the pair of desks they had eventually adopted as their own. Renjun scooped up some of the supplies nearest to him, handing them off to Jaemin, who just stared down at them dumbly for a moment. Jeno grabbed a few more items, stacking them precariously in his own arms, and then nudged Jaemin in the side with his elbow.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re meant to put them away, Jaemin-ah,” Jeno said, “not just stare at them.” Jaemin blinked up at him for another few seconds, then seemed to realise what he was holding. Following Jeno towards the back of the room, Renjun heard him mutter something that he was sure was a childish insult or, perhaps, a misguided attempt at flirting—with Jaemin, Renjun sometimes couldn’t tell. Whatever it was, Jeno just laughed in response, shaking his head at the younger boy good-naturedly.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not so hard, Yukhei-hyung,” Renjun offered, when he realised the older boy’s attention was still on him. Yukhei smiled disbelievingly, opening his mouth to say something else, but Renjun pressed on. “It really isn’t. You saw some of the stuff that Jeno’s painted over the last few weeks.” He hesitated, making sure that the other two boys were still out of earshot. “He was horrible at it to start with. If he can do it, so can you.”</p><p> </p><p>“I guess you’re right,” Yukhei agreed, eyeing his friend mischievously as Jeno followed Jaemin back over towards them. “I would have said Jeno was a lost cause for art a few weeks ago, but miracles do happen. Maybe I should get you to teach me, seonsaeng-nim.” Jeno stepped up next to them then, peering at his friend curiously, so Yukhei repeated himself. “I was saying that I should get Renjun here to teach me to paint too, Jeno-yah.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ah.” Jeno grinned up at the senior boy, before turning his attention back to Renjun. “A great idea. Sadly, though, I’ve booked up every Thursday class from now until the end of the school year.” He shrugged, not looking remotely apologetic, and winked at Renjun. “Isn’t that right, Renjun-ssi?”</p><p> </p><p>As his heart did a little somersault inside his chest at the simple gesture, Renjun happened to glance over at Jaemin while he tried to formulate a logical response. The boy stood a little removed from the group, watching on with such longing in his eyes that Renjun almost hugged him on the spot. He actually had to fight to stop himself reaching out, knowing that Jaemin probably wouldn’t appreciate such a gesture in front of the other two boys, but decided to move things along for his sake. Just because they had the misfortune to like the same boy, he didn't have to rub it in Jaemin’s face.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s getting late,” Renjun announced to no one in particular, then fixed Jaemin with a warm smile. “We need to go and find Hyuck soon, if we want to get to your house in time for dinner, Jaeminie.” He didn't strictly need to spell things out like that, since Jaemin already knew about it, having invited the two of them over for dinner earlier in the week, but the grateful smile Jaemin offered him told Renjun he’d done the right thing.</p><p> </p><p>“We should get going too,” Jeno said quickly, eyes flitting across Jaemin’s face and then Renjun’s, before turning to look at Yukhei. The knowing look in his eye as he moved told Renjun that Jeno hadn't missed their silent exchange, astute as ever, but he didn't address it. Instead, he punched Yukhei playfully in the shoulder, making the older boy hiss in mock pain.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey!”</p><p> </p><p>“I barely touched you,” Jeno told him breezily. “Come on, you big baby.” He steered Yukhei towards the door, stopping briefly to scoop up both their bags, and then they followed a few other students out into the corridor. Renjun and Jaemin weren’t far behind them, walking side by side through the hallways in companionable silence, but, when they neared the main entrance, Jeno slowed his strides until he fell in line on Renjun’s other side. “Hey, Renjun-ah. Can I talk to you alone for a minute, before you leave?”</p><p> </p><p>Renjun glanced over at Jaemin, who wore the same confused look that he suspected he sported himself, then fixed his gaze back on Jeno. “Uh. Sure.” The boy smiled widely, eyes crinkling in that uniquely adorable way that Renjun couldn't resist, and he had to choke down a sigh at the visual. “Jaemin, would you mind waiting for us outside for a few minutes? I’m sure we won’t be long.”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you sure?” Jaemin sounded hesitant and Renjun laughed, before he realised that the younger boy was serious.</p><p> </p><p>“Jaemin, he’s not about to stab me to death in the lobby, okay? We’ll be out in just a minute.” He gave Jaemin a firm nudge towards Yukhei, who had just stopped a few paces ahead of them, finally realising that Jeno was no longer next to him.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s going on?” Yukhei asked, glancing first at Jaemin and then across to Jeno. “Why does Jaemin look like someone just kicked his kitten?”</p><p> </p><p>“I just want to talk to Renjun for a second before we leave, hyung,” Jeno told him. “Alone.” Yukhei’s eyes immediately lit up in understanding, although Renjun had no idea why, and he grinned at his friend. Then he looped a heavy arm around Jaemin’s neck, pulling him into a playful side hug.</p><p> </p><p>“Message received loud and clear, boss.” The senior ruffled Jaemin’s hair, making the younger boy struggle futilely to free himself from Yukhei’s grip, then steered them both out towards the parking lot. “We’ll wait out by your car, Jeno-yah,” he called back over his shoulder. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”</p><p> </p><p>“What is <em> that </em> supposed to mean?” Renjun muttered, staring after him incredulously. He heard Jeno make a small choking noise behind him, pitched significantly higher than his normal tone, and turned to see that the other boy had gone a little red in the face. It wasn't a particularly flattering look with his skin tone, in truth, but Renjun thought he looked adorable, although clearly flustered by his friend’s strange choice of words. “Are you okay?”</p><p> </p><p>“What?” Jeno stammered, swallowing loudly. “I mean, yeah. I’m fine. Xuxi-hyung can be a real idiot sometimes, but he means well.” He smiled sweetly down at Renjun then, the pink in his complexion spreading northwards as the gesture pinched his cheek muscles and increased blood flow. Renjun had to force himself not to get distracted watching the tiny capillaries rising to the surface, each of which acted involuntarily to supply excess colour to Jeno’s face, and reminded himself that they were alone together for a reason.</p><p> </p><p>“What did you want to talk to me about?” Renjun knew they probably had about three minutes before Jaemin broke free from Yukhei’s clutches, unable to stop himself from wanting to know what the big secret was—especially if it involved Jeno—so he needed to hurry things along. They were also due to meet Donghyuck by his car soon, so that he could give them a ride over to Jaemin’s house for dinner. If they were late because of him and missed any part of the entree, Renjun would likely never hear the end of it, from either of his perpetually hungry companions.</p><p> </p><p>“Well,” Jeno began hesitantly. At the trepidation in his tone, Renjun snapped out of his thoughts of food and fixed his attention back on his friend. Jeno’s eyes bored right back into him as he stared, conveying an intensity he’d never experienced from the boy before. He actually started to feel a little nervous, when neither of them moved—previous reassurances to Jaemin about not being killed in a terrible passion be damned—but then Jeno let out a deep, shaky breath. “I, uh—I wanted to ask you if you’d be interested in going out with me sometime. Maybe.”</p><p> </p><p>In an instant, all rational thought fled from Renjun’s brain. He could comprehend the words Jeno had spoken at a base level, turning the consonants over and over in his mind like they were the only thing of note he’d ever heard in his life, but it was like any underlying context and clarity had vanished. He wasn’t even sure of his own name just then, never in a million years expecting to hear those words coming from Lee Jeno’s mouth, and he felt woefully unprepared to answer.</p><p> </p><p>He opened his mouth to respond, vaguely aware that Jeno was watching his face expectantly, but nothing came out. After another agonising moment of stunned silence, Jeno flushed again and held out an appeasing hand in front of his body. “I mean, you don’t have to, if you don’t want to.” He dropped his gaze to the floor and seemed to crumple in on himself. “God, I don’t even know for sure if you’re…you know…” He took a small step backwards, and Renjun wanted to scream at him to come back. “I shouldn’t have—”</p><p> </p><p>“No!” Recovering his sanity just enough to choke out the word, Renjun took a hurried step towards the dejected boy in front of him, trying to close the distance again. Unfortunately, it was too big of a step and he barrelled straight into the taller boy, who flung out an arm to catch him around the waist before he took them both down. Suddenly faced with an eyeful of Jeno’s shirt, Renjun squeaked in surprise and stepped back into his discarded backpack on the floor, only for Jeno to lunge forward and deftly catch him again before he fell on his ass.</p><p> </p><p>“No, like you don’t want to, or…?” Jeno didn't finish the question, staring down at his hand wrapped securely around Renjun’s wrist. The older boy followed his gaze, tracing the way Jeno’s fingers seemed to fit perfectly around the slim curve of his arm, and forced himself to take a breath. Neither of them spoke for a moment, Jeno seemingly content to wait for an answer for the time being, so Renjun lifted his gaze to meet the other boy’s eye.</p><p> </p><p>“I mean, I am…” he smiled softly, despite the situation, as he chose to use Jeno’s own words in response, “...you know…” He took another calming breath, focusing on the way that Jeno’s eyes softened in response to his admission, understanding what he was trying to say without either of them needing to spell it out. “And yes, I’d like that. I—I want to.”</p><p> </p><p>It was as though the sun had suddenly emerged from behind thick cloud cover, a beatific smile spreading rapidly across Jeno’s face in response to his answer. The fingers around his wrist squeezed tighter for a fraction of a second, then Jeno’s grip loosened and his hand dropped to his hip, swinging forgotten as he stared at Renjun. “Really?”</p><p> </p><p>“Really,” the older boy said softly, powerless to do anything but return the smile with one of his own. Warmth blossomed in his chest and he was sure his face was rapidly turning beet red under Jeno’s gaze but, when the slightly stunned look didn't leave the other boy’s face, Renjun’s smile faded a little. “Why do you look so surprised?”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, I’m a little shocked that you said yes, honestly.” Jeno shrugged as though he was apologising, and continued. “I’m still half trying to convince myself that there isn’t something going on between you and Jaemin.”</p><p> </p><p>“I told you there isn’t,” Renjun insisted, a frown almost completely eclipsing his previous brightness now. There was still a small part of him exalting madly at the fact that Lee Jeno had just asked him on a date—or what he sincerely hoped would turn out to be a date—but the majority was hyper-focused on what he’d just admitted. “When we first spoke, I told you.” The same night that he almost lost Jaemin for good, his mind supplied, but Renjun shoved it aside. Now wasn't the time for those thoughts.</p><p> </p><p>“I know, but I struggled to actually believe it at first,” Jeno told him honestly. “With the way that he looks at you, I thought there had to at least be something. I thought maybe you just weren’t public with it—which is totally cool, by the way—but I couldn't be sure, so I held back.”</p><p> </p><p>“Held back?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.” Jeno shrugged. “I would’ve asked you then and there, on the night of the cast social, but I didn't want to step on anyone’s toes.” Renjun started to open his mouth, but Jeno was already talking again. “I waited for the longest time, trying to figure it out. I waited so long that I actually thought I’d lost my chance, but things have changed now. I got tired of waiting, selfish as that might be, so here I am.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh.” Renjun could have smacked himself with how stupid he sounded in that moment, but then Jeno smiled at him with something akin to earnest affection in his gaze and he felt himself start to melt from the inside out. “I’m glad you got tired of waiting, I guess.” That earned him an even broader grin, and Renjun wished he could make Jeno look that genuinely happy every day for the rest of his life.</p><p> </p><p>“Me too.” Jeno paused, then eyed Renjun thoughtfully. “This isn't going to make things weird with your friends, is it? I don't want to cause any trouble.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why would it?”</p><p> </p><p>“I mean, well, with Jaemin. I know now that you’re not together—finally—but he’s definitely still in love with you.” Renjun froze, unable to tear his eyes from Jeno’s face, as his mind tried and then promptly refused to process that statement. As though sensing his shock, Jeno pressed a hand to Renjun’s shoulder and squeezed gently. “You had to have known, right? It’s not like he hides it.”</p><p> </p><p>“No,” Renjun said quickly, voice coming out a little louder than he meant it to. “No, he can’t. There’s no way.”</p><p> </p><p>“Renjun-ah.” A cool, firm finger lifted Renjun’s chin so that he met Jeno’s gaze again, and the younger boy's expression was an odd mix of apologetic and reassuring. “You must not be looking closely enough. That boy is just as crazy about you as I am.” Renjun had a split second to process the fact that Jeno had as good as admitted that he <em> liked him </em> liked him—a concept he had absolutely no idea how to wrap his mind around—before the weight of the younger boy’s other words finally bulldozed through everything else.</p><p> </p><p>“Wait, Jaemin isn’t into me,” he insisted, stepping back a fraction so that he could more easily look Jeno in the eyes. As the younger boy frowned in confusion, Renjun briefly considered whether he would be breaking some unspoken rule with his next words, before reminding himself that Jeno had already heard them and more from Jaemin’s own lips. “He likes you! He admitted as much in the car that night after the party. You heard him. He might have been too drunk to remember it afterwards, but that doesn't make it any less true. It’s you he’s into, not me.”</p><p> </p><p>Jeno paused, considering Renjun’s words carefully, before he shook his head decisively. “He may think many things about me, or he may think nothing at all. I don’t know and I’m not about to ask him, but I do know that he definitely doesn’t like me in the same way that he likes you.”</p><p> </p><p>“There’s no way<span>—</span>” Renjun started to respond, wanting to make Jeno understand that it just wasn't like that, but a familiar greeting startled him into silence as Donghyuck strode up behind them and dumped his bag on the floor next to Renjun’s.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey. What are you two<span>—</span>?” Donghyuck broke off abruptly, eyes darting from Renjun to Jeno and back as his smile faded, replaced by discomfort and doubt. “I’m sorry. Am I interrupting something?” When neither boy answered him, he blanched, backing away quickly in the direction of the exit. “I’ll, uh...I’ll wait outside. Just pretend I wasn't even here.”</p><p> </p><p>“Wait.” Renjun turned to look at his friend, who hadn't even bothered to retrieve his bag in his bid to make a hasty retreat. “Don’t worry about it, Hyuckie. We were just about done anyway.” He glanced back up at Jeno, whose gaze had not yet left his face, and smiled. “Jeno just wanted to ask me something, and I answered him. I’d like to think it was the answer he was hoping for.”</p><p> </p><p>“I<span>—</span>Yeah, it was. Definitely!” Jeno's smile abruptly returned with full force and he bent to pick up Renjun’s bag, handing it back to him like it was a precious treasure. Renjun hugged it to his chest for a moment, before realising that made him look utterly ridiculous, but Jeno had already retrieved his own, slinging it over one shoulder. “I should get going now anyway. Xuxi-hyung is waiting for me, and I don't want to make you all late for your dinner.” He turned to leave, but not before flashing Renjun one last warm smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Renjun-ah.”</p><p> </p><p>The instant he was out of earshot, barely a single step outside the school building, Donghyuck whirled around to face Renjun. His eyes were blown wide and he hooked an arm around the older boy’s elbow, tugging him into his body. Because he would have done the exact same thing in Donghyuck's position, Renjun already knew what the boy was about to say before he spoke, sighing good-naturedly as he shifted to give his friend his full attention. Donghyuck just stared up at him expectantly for a few seconds, a flash of anarchy in his eyes, and then he was dragging Renjun out into the parking lot after Jeno.</p><p> </p><p>“What the hell did I just walk in on?” Donghyuck asked, quickly spotting Jaemin leaning against Yukhei’s convertible across the lot. He waved at their friend briefly, indicating that Jaemin should meet them over by his car, and then turned the full force of his indomitable gaze back onto Renjun. “Tell me everything.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Not technically a cliffhanger, but there's a lot more to their evening to come. I wonder what could possibly go wrong (or right)?</p><p>A few quick notes, since people have asked some pertinent questions lately:</p><p>- First, on the subject of my update schedule. You might have noticed I always update every Saturday and Sunday, and then once or twice during the week. I can't be more specific than that right now, but I'm determined to stick to that pace for the foreseeable future. If you want me to be more specific, see point two below.</p><p>- Second, someone asked about social media. I have Twitter, but that's such a goddamn mess at this point it's honestly not worth sharing. I do have an IG account though (I've changed the <a href="https://www.instagram.com/galaxy_neozone/">user ID</a> to be the same as here), if you're interested. I literally just use it to stalk WayV's cats and look at photos, so I beg you not to bother actually following me, but y'all can feel free to drop me a message if you want. I'm boring af in real life, but it might be a good alternative to checking for updates multiple times a day (please don't do that to yourselves!).</p><p>- Third, I know that a couple of you have already stumbled onto this fic on Wattpad. I mainly cross-post there to save my editing/formatting, in case I ever accidentally delete anything here or in my Google doc, but it exists. I don't check in there much, but some of you have mentioned that you really like leaving kudos/votes. If you have WP and you're offering, I won't say no. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯</p><p>As always, have a wonderful day! &lt;3</p><p>Oh... and *coughs inconspicuously*... <strong>TEN</strong></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0035"><h2>35. Chapter 35</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>May I present the second half of yesterday's chapter, as told from Jaemin's perspective. It's, uh, just some light bedtime reading...NBD. This is really important for NoRenMin, and we will be getting to the happier stuff for them really soon, I promise. I just need to give Jaemin the opportunity to be the very bestest boy he can be first. My Dream bias deserves nothing less! &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The ride home in Donghyuck’s car that afternoon had been a tough lesson in patience and restraint. The two boys up front, not-so-subtly sneaking glances at each other—and at him—whenever they thought he was distracted, hadn’t needed to tell him that he’d missed something big. Jaemin had been able to surmise that from the pointed silences, the barely restrained nervous energy and the way that Renjun had seemed to space out of their sporadic conversations every few seconds or so.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d tried to ignore it all the way through dinner too, hoping that one or both of them would tell him soon enough, if it was that important, but now Jaemin couldn't ignore the dull ache in the pit of his stomach as he sat on the office chair in his room and tried to focus on his Social Studies assignment. The subject didn't require a huge amount of concentration, leaving him free to observe the two boys sprawled out on the floor surrounded by their school work, but that was almost worse. It just left him with more space inside his brain to speculate, and to come to the inevitable conclusion that he had finally run out of time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin wasn't stupid. Nor was he blind, so he knew without a doubt that Hwang Renjun was head-over-heels for a certain handsome soccer player. Granted, it had taken Jaemin far too long to come to that understanding, but, now that he knew, it was glaringly obvious. His best friend’s eyes lit up whenever the boy entered a room—or if his name was even just mentioned in passing—and Renjun got the happiest, dumbest smile on his face whenever Jeno so much as looked at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If it had been anyone else—anyone else in the entire universe—Jaemin would have been first in line to cheer the two of them on with a gaudy, handmade banner and party balloons, willing Jeno to notice exactly what he was missing—because Renjun was perfect, inside and out, and he deserved to be that happy always—but it wasn't just anyone. It was Renjun, the boy Jaemin had been in love with since way before Jeno had entered the picture, before Donghyuck had touched down like a tornado and their world had been turned upside down. Jaemin didn't regret the majority of how things had turned out; he’d barely been a blip on Renjun’s radar before Donghyuck had brought them together, after all, but he couldn't help but wonder if there was another parallel universe out there in which it was him that made Renjun’s heart soar, instead of Lee Jeno.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What did you get for question three?” Donghyuck asked then, pulling Jaemin back into the moment. Realising that his right leg was starting to fall asleep from the position he sat in, he shifted slowly, curling the offending leg up and under him onto the seat. Then he peered down at his work, knowing that Renjun was currently working on a different assignment from the other two boys, and sought out the question Donghyuck had mentioned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hmm. I wrote ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>social studies is stupid and Mrs Song can eat this entire piece of paper</span>
  </em>
  <span>’,” he offered dryly, spinning on the hydraulic base of the chair to look down at Donghyuck, who lay on his stomach with a pencil hooked loosely behind one ear. His friend lazily pushed up onto his elbows, staring up at him incredulously as a small smirk parted his lips. Jaemin sighed. “I might just move onto something else. This isn't due until next week anyway.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“NaNa…” Donghyuck started to say, a gentle rebuke sure to follow, but Renjun interrupted him, glancing up from his work to fix Jaemin with a knowing look.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s due on Tuesday morning, Jaemin-ah. It’s Friday tomorrow, so you really don’t have much time left.” Jaemin considered his words for a moment, taking in the look of mild concern and disapproval on the older boy’s face, and then sighed again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I know. You’re right,” he hesitated, then added, “as always. I’ll just start it again.” Without further protest, Jaemin turned back towards his desk and pulled a new, blank sheet of paper from his notebook. He slid it across the wooden surface until it was side by side with the original, then he retrieved his pen and started to copy out the title again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He might not like the way things were progressing in his relationship with Renjun, but Jaemin had to admit that he was by far the smartest—not to mention, the most studious—of the three of them. If Renjun thought he needed to get it done, he wasn't about to argue. It would inevitably benefit him in the long run, even if procrastinating seemed like a far more appealing option tonight.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The room fell largely silent again, save for the muffled scratching sound of Donghyuck’s pencil against paper, and the tapping of keys on Jaemin’s laptop as Renjun used it to research something for his essay. Jaemin found himself mindlessly copying out the first two answers of his assignment over again, two that he had mercifully been paying attention for, and let his attention drift once more.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If he ran the events of this afternoon through in his mind to their logical outcome, Jaemin could come to only one conclusion. Jeno, because the other boy was also far from stupid, must have finally realised what Jaemin already knew deep in his soul and made his move with Renjun. Jaemin couldn't imagine any other reason that Jeno would have asked to speak privately, only to have Donghyuck and Renjun emerge from the building ten minutes later, whispering giddily to one another like Renjun had just won the lottery.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin knew that Donghyuck was acutely aware of his own, unrequited feelings, although Donghyuck had promised never to tell Renjun about them, but he didn't begrudge his friend being happy for Renjun. Jaemin was even happy for Renjun—or at least he was trying to be. If he couldn't have the happy ending he wanted, and that fantasy was growing further and further away with each passing day beneath Jeno’s shadow, he wanted that for Renjun. Even if that meant he had to step aside and watch him date someone else.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It didn't help that Lee Jeno was one of the nicest people Jaemin had ever met, once he’d gotten over his initial animosity towards the boy and had opened up to actually being friendly with him. He wasn't about to become best friends with Jeno—that distinction was reserved solely for the pair currently occupying every spare inch of floor space behind him—but he could appreciate the boy’s appeal. Jeno was handsome, charismatic, talented at everything—except, possibly, fine art—and his smile turned heads wherever he went.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin would also be lying if he said that he hadn't had a fat crush on Jeno in early middle school, like just about everyone else in their class—one that may or may not have spurred him into some tough questions about his sexuality that he hadn't been ready to answer at that age—but that crush had faded with time. He could still appreciate Jeno’s appeal from a purely clinical perspective, but it wasn't close to the same as how he felt about Renjun. That was so much stronger, occasionally bordering on obsessive when he wasn't careful to temper his emotions, and, instead of getting over it, his feelings had continued to grow with every passing morning they had spent at neighbouring desks together in homeroom.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Unfortunately, Jaemin told himself sadly, none of this altered the situation for him. Renjun still wasn't interested in him, as much as he’d prayed over the years for that not to be the case, and discovering what Jeno felt in the midst of all of this didn't really change much. Jaemin had made his decision weeks ago, when he’d come to the belated realisation that he didn't want to be estranged from his best friend for a second longer, and now he had to live with it. He’d stay by Renjun’s side, in whatever capacity the older boy allowed, for as long as he wanted him there. He’d love him from afar, making sure that he was happy and fulfilled, while a small part of Jaemin died each day. It was a worthwhile trade, and one he was willing to make until he wasn't able to make it anymore.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaemin-ah?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Huh?” Jaemin’s head snapped up at the sound of Renjun’s voice, just barely loud enough to cut through the swirl of emotions and turbulent thoughts inside his head. He leaned back into the chair and let the momentum swing him in a slow circle until he faced his friend. His </span>
  <em>
    <span>friend</span>
  </em>
  <span>—maybe, if he thought the word enough times, his heart would eventually get the message, Jaemin mused. The small clench of the organ beneath his ribs told him that wasn't likely any time soon, but he knew he had no other choice. Renjun—his best friend—needed that much from him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have to tell you something.” Renjun’s facial expression was a carefully crafted mask of indifference, but Jaemin couldn't help the instinctive flinch that rippled through his entire body at the trepidation in the older boy’s eyes. Jaemin knew that he’d just told himself he needed to be okay with this, with whatever Renjun would say when he told him the truth, but he hadn't expected it to be this soon. He wasn't ready to let Renjun go yet, as much as he knew he needed to, but time was up. This was happening, whether he was ready or not.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh?” He was proud of the way that his voice sounded calm as he spoke, but the fist balled into Jaemin’s sweatpants told a different story. He allowed himself to hold on even tighter, needing the slight burn from his whitened knuckles to keep him grounded, and focused on Renjun’s face. “What is it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun seemed to struggle for a moment, glancing over at Donghyuck briefly for moral support, but then he blew out a deep breath. “So, you know I talked to Jeno, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, he...he asked me out.” Renjun paused, watching Jaemin’s face carefully, so the younger boy forced himself not to react. He had known that it would hurt to hear, but he hadn't anticipated the way that each word felt like a kick to the chest, stabbing him in the heart with each consonant. Only when Renjun’s gaze shifted back to Donghyuck for a moment did Jaemin suck in a breath, winding his fingers so tightly into the fabric over his knee that he thought his nails might punch five ragged holes right through it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I told Hyuck earlier,” Renjun continued, leaning into the boy beside him on the floor. Donghyuck looped an arm around his shoulders, but the younger boy’s eyes were firmly fixed on Jaemin. The way they seemed to pierce right through his facade told Jaemin that Donghyuck wasn't fooled for a second by his reaction, but Renjun didn't appear to notice. “I didn’t mean to tell you after him or anything, but he literally walked right in on us, while we were talking.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry about that,” Donghyuck offered, but Renjun shook off the apology.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine.” All eyes were suddenly back on Jaemin again, and Renjun offered him a small smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. “Anyway, I didn't want to keep this from you. I know you…” He broke off. “What I mean to say is, I said yes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” Jaemin didn't think he could say more, and his gaze darted across to the closed bedroom door to his left. It was only a few paces away, although that short distance felt more like an eternity as his worldview seemed to shrink around the rectangular door frame, and Jaemin wanted nothing more than to escape through it. He was trying to be strong, he really was, but he was about to fall apart and he didn't want to do that in front of Renjun. He just needed a few minutes alone to pull himself together again, he justified, and then he’d be able to be the supportive friend that Renjun needed him to be.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh?” Renjun sounded confused, but Jaemin didn't turn to see if that was reflected in his expression. He didn't think he’d be able to cope with seeing the other boy’s face right now, not yet, so he steeled his shoulders and stood up quickly, the wheeled seat rolling back towards his desk with a soft squeak.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I need to go to the bathroom,” he announced, not bothering to wait for a response as he practically threw himself across the room towards the door. Flinging it open, he hurried out into the hallway and pressed himself into the wall beyond the doorway, just out of sight of both of his friends. He heard a grunt of surprise from someone, he wasn't sure who, but took advantage of the precious iota of privacy to take a steadying breath. A second followed, then a third, before Jaemin finally felt able to move again. There was a flurry of movement from inside his room, the telltale sound of footsteps over the creaky floorboard nearest to his bed, and he knew he had to move. If he could get to the bathroom before anyone came to investigate, he’d be safe. He could get himself under control before he said something he knew he’d regret.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was halfway down the hall, close enough to the door to the family bathroom that he could have reached out and touched it, when he realised that he was no longer alone. The weight of eyes on his back gave him pause, and he glanced back over his shoulder to see Renjun closing in on him, eyes sparking with something fierce that Jaemin couldn't name. He considered making a run for it, eyeing the closed door reluctantly, but then Renjun was right there and he had nowhere to go, nowhere to run.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine.” The response was immediate and automatic, like he was reading from a prompter, and, if the words sounded harsh and clipped to his ear, Jaemin hoped Renjun would forgive him. Hopes of finding a non-confrontational way out of this mess were fading fast, and he could only plead with the powers that be for Renjun to give up and leave him alone, before he lost anything more than his dignity.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re not okay,” Renjun said, stepping closer so that he could press a hand to Jaemin’s forearm. The sleeve of the younger boy’s shirt was rolled up to the elbow—saying nothing of the fact that half of said sleeve still looked like it had lost a war with a tie-dye kit—so Renjun’s fingers against his bare skin felt like a brand, too hot, too close and too sensitive all at the same time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I said I’m fine,” Jaemin insisted, shrugging off Renjun’s touch. Realising that he couldn't very well stand with his back to the boy for the remainder of their interaction—especially not if he wanted it to end any time soon—Jaemin turned around and immediately regretted it. Renjun stood so close that he could see the whites of his eyes, and he wore such a gentle, heart-breakingly tender look that Jaemin felt the hot sting of tears building around the bridge of his nose. It was so close to affection that it actually hurt, and yet the sadness that overshadowed it was unmistakable.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know you, Jaemin-ah.” Pity. What he could see in Renjun’s eyes was pity, directed at him. “I know that you’re not okay, and I know that it’s my fault.” Jaemin froze, mind working overtime as he put the pieces together. Pity meant that Renjun knew something, something Jaemin didn't want him to know. He couldn't know. Jaemin would never retain his tentative grip on control if Renjun knew. It would all be over. “I—I’ll tell Jeno no. If you ask me to, I’ll tell him I’m not interested. Just say the word.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“W-why would you do that?” Momentarily, all thoughts of sorrow and discomfort fled, replaced with overwhelming confusion. “I don’t understand.” Renjun had pined after Jeno for—well, Jaemin didn't actually know how long, but it made no sense for him to back out now, not when he finally had what he wanted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because you’re my friend, Jaemin,” Renjun told him. “I like him... you know I do, but I won’t let that come between us. If you want me to back down, so you can have your chance, I’ll do it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I—what?” Jaemin blinked stupidly down at Renjun, who looked about as close to tears as he felt. He knew that Renjun couldn't possibly mean what it sounded like he meant, that he was willing to give Jaemin a chance, but he couldn't see what other meaning there could be. It was unimaginable.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know you like him too. I’ve seen it in the way you look at him.” Jaemin’s jaw fell open, but Renjun wasn't about to be stopped. “I don't want this to drive a wedge between us. I already almost lost you once and, now that I know why, I won’t let it happen again. If this is what it takes not to lose you, I’ll tell Jeno that I’m not interested anymore.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a moment of shocked silence, then Jaemin let out a coarse laugh, which quickly turned into a thick, watery cough as the tears he’d been holding back welled up, unshed in the corners of his eyes. Renjun’s face fell at the sound, but Jaemin couldn't take it back now, even if he thought it would have helped. He dropped his head, tucking his chin to his chest, and squeezed his eyes closed against the moisture trying to escape.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You think I like Jeno?” It sounded utterly ridiculous to even say the words aloud, but the pained, forlorn sound that Renjun made deep in his throat stopped him in his tracks. Was it possible? Jaemin wondered, as he thought back over the past few months.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Their ridiculous fight in the hallway outside the drama studio, when he’d been an insufferable ass and then run away from his problems.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The way he’d swallowed his pride just to be around his best friend again, when he wanted nothing more than to scream to the heavens and confess everything.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The doomed frat party excursion, where he'd gotten embarrassingly drunk just to avoid having to watch Jeno enjoying everything he’d ever wanted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The weeks that followed, where he’d tried so, so hard to pretend he wasn't in love with the boy in front of him—all the while watching someone else falling ever deeper.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don't?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No.” It was blunt, brutally honest, but he owned Renjun that much.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then...why?” There was so much desperation, so much need in the older boy’s voice as he spoke that Jaemin felt one of the remaining, intact pieces of his heart shatter under the onslaught. Renjun was hurting because of him, Jaemin realised, because he didn't dare to be honest. It wasn't fair on either of them, or on the boy who had so completely captured Renjun’s heart, and he knew that he had to do something. It might destroy him, and their friendship, but the truth also might just set them all free.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because—” There was no going back from this, Jaemin reminded himself, before deciding that it didn't really matter anymore. As long as Renjun was happy, he would find a way to make peace with his choices, starting with this one. “Because I’m in love with you, Renjun-ah.” There it was. Jaemin thought it should have been harder to say but, in the end, it had been as easy as breathing. The truth had wanted to be free all along, and now it could finally fly. “I have been for years. I swear I wasn't ever going to tell you, but I guess you deserve to know the truth.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Renjun didn't speak, barely even swaying in place as he appeared to be frozen in time, Jaemin continued. He had nothing left to hide now. “I want you to be happy,” he said quickly, almost stumbling over the words. “I want you to be happy and, if that’s with Jeno, I’ll support you every step of the way. He makes you smile, I’ve seen it, and you deserve to smile like that every second of every day, Renjunie. You deserve all the joy in the world and more.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know I hurt you when we fought after the drama social all those weeks ago. I was selfish; I thought that, somehow, if I made a big deal out of everything, you’d finally realise how I felt. I wanted you to figure it out for yourself, so that I could have my Hallmark moment, but I know now that I was just acting like a petulant child. It wasn't fair on you, and I wish so badly that I could go back and do things differently.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I even tried to get between you and Jeno. God, I embarrassed you and I embarrassed myself, forcing myself in where I wasn't wanted. I was a real idiot, and I’m sorry. I’m still not sure why you decided to forgive me, but I’m so grateful that you did. You deserve more than me as a friend but, now that all of this is out in the open, I promise that I’ll do my best to be that friend that you deserve. Heck! If you’ll have me, I’ll be the best goddamn wingman in history. I’ll help you get your happy ending, and...and I’ll get over you in time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I bet we’ll even laugh about this at some point in the future, about that time your weird best friend had a dumb crush and almost let it ruin our friendship. Just don’t force me away, please. I need you, Renjunie. You and Hyuck are all I have.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Impassioned speech over and unexpected boldness fading fast, Jaemin let himself deflate like a punctured balloon, back hitting the wall and knees buckling under his dead weight. He let gravity drag him down onto the carpeted floor, head falling back to press into the wall behind him with a dull thud. Renjun still hadn't moved, eyes now staring unseeing over Jaemin’s head, but he’d said his piece. The rest was all up to Renjun now. Jaemin just hoped the older boy would be gentle about it, if he was about to push him away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why did you never say anything?” It took so long that Jaemin almost missed it when Renjun finally spoke, his voice barely a whisper. Jaemin’s eyes flew open, his whole being instantly fixated on Renjun’s face, but the older boy didn't look down at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Would it have mattered?” he asked resignedly. “Would you have felt any differently if I had?” Renjun didn't respond, not that Jaemin expected him to, but the way he tensed at the question told Jaemin everything he needed to know. “I didn't think so.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay, Renjunie,” Jaemin said quickly, not letting Renjun say whatever he’d been about to say. He knew the other boy well enough by now to know that he’d try to apologise, or to make Jaemin feel like it wasn't his fault that things had ended up like this, and Jaemin wouldn't let him. This was all on him, no matter the outcome. “This isn't on you. I told you, I’ll get over it eventually.” He didn't know how, or how long that might take, but that was his burden to bear. “I’m a big boy. Just don’t hate me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I could never hate you, NaNa.” At Renjun’s use of that name—one he’d adopted after he’d noticed how much Jaemin loved it when Donghyuck used it—another piece of Jaemin’s heart broke. He didn't outwardly react, not wanting Renjun to see how much it affected him, but the sorrow in his soul threatened to drown him yet again. “I—I love you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin actually smiled then, and he fought back the urge to laugh despite himself. “I know you do.” It was true; he knew that Renjun loved him. It just wasn't enough, not for him. “I love you too. Just, uh, not quite the same way.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be. Just promise me that you’ll do what makes you happy, whatever that may be.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I—okay.” Renjun had never looked so small, Jaemin thought, as he gazed up at the boy that stood beside him in the hallway of his family home. This was all weighing heavily on him—on both of them—and Jaemin knew that it was probably a good idea to let Renjun have a bit of space to process everything. He had taken it all well so far, incredibly so, but he had to be feeling very overwhelmed right about now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to use the bathroom,” Jaemin announced loudly, hoping that Donghyuck would hear him from his room. He wasn't sure how much the other boy had overheard, since they hadn't exactly been quiet about it, but he didn't think Donghyuck would judge him for any of it. He’d known anyway, Jaemin reminded himself, and Renjun could do with some support right then. Donghyuck might look their age on the surface, but he had a lot of life experience that both of his friends lacked. He would know what to do—what to say to make everything okay.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Pushing up off the floor, Jaemin stepped past Renjun and into the small room, locking the door behind him before sinking down onto the toilet seat. Slumping forward, he let his head drop into his hands, scrubbing his fingers over his skin, and started to count his breaths.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Two.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Three.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the time he got to ten, he heard movement outside the door and then muffled footsteps heading away, back down the hall towards his room. Still, he continued to count, his breaths becoming more even and more synchronized with each passing number. He allowed himself not to think for a few minutes, listening to his heartbeat and the gentle whoosh of air as it entered and exited his lungs. It felt good not to dwell inside his own thoughts, so he continued to count, reaching triple figures before he figured he’d probably left enough time to allow him to return to his bedroom.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d follow Renjun’s lead from here on out, Jaemin decided resolutely. If the older boy never brought any of this up again, he’d respect that and follow suit. If he wanted to talk, Jaemin would acquiesce, but he’d make sure he didn't harm their friendship any further by doing so. He’d said everything he’d been holding back anyway, so there would be no more secrets on his end, and he meant every word he’d said. He’d be the best friend he could possibly be to Renjun, to Donghyuck, to Jeno and Yukhei and everyone else in his life. He’d do it for them, and for him, until it didn't hurt so much anymore. How hard could it be?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Unlocking the door to the bathroom and stepping back into the hallway, he was relieved not to see anyone around. He could hear the low hum of ambient noise from downstairs—his parents watching a movie in the family room, so they wouldn't disturb him and his friends, his mom had told him as they cleared up after dinner—and Renjun was long gone. The door to his room was partially open as he walked slowly towards it, mentally preparing himself to reinsert himself into whatever group dynamic awaited him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyuckie…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Without realising it, Jaemin froze at the sound of Renjun’s voice, arm outstretched towards the protruding door handle. He backed up a step, finding himself pressed against a familiar patch of wall yet again. He knew that he was intruding, and that he really shouldn’t be eavesdropping, but it was like he was no longer fully in control of his limbs. There was every chance that he might not like what he heard, but he had to know.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...I—I think I’ve made a huge mistake.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you going to do about it?” Donghyuck's voice was muffled, but Jaemin thought he sounded conflicted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Oof. Oof. Oof.</p><p>You'll be glad to know that the next few chapters are not going to be anywhere near as deep as the last few have been. We're gonna check in with a brand new ship next *coughs*, and then we'll get right into the NoRen date (those two have a lot to talk about!). I also realise that Donghyuck is taking a bit of a backseat in his own story right now, so we'll get back to him very soon too. He wants his friends to be happy first though, and I hope you'll agree!</p><p>As always, have a wonderful day. &lt;3</p><p>Also, hopefully slightly less ambiguously than yesterday... <strong>NINE</strong></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0036"><h2>36. Chapter 36</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>It's been a few days since we last spoke. That wasn't my intent, but this week has been a particularly busy one and I got a little burned out. I'm pleased to say that I have booked a week off next week though, which I'm super excited about. I'm hoping to be able to get a lot of writing done, while I detox from work, so stay tuned for that.</p><p>This time around, we've got another special guest perspective, we check in on a few as-yet woefully neglected members, and we get a spot of foreshadowing for tomorrow's chapter towards the end. I hope you enjoy! :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The Performing Arts building looked exactly the same, he thought, right down to the huge, ancient-looking tree that sat in the centre of the front lawn, its gnarled, sprawling limbs blocking out most of the light from the sun to the path below. It had been explained to him—the last time he’d stopped by the building, on a campus tour just before the start of his freshman year—that the tree was protected by law, meaning that it couldn’t be cut down even if the faculty wanted it gone. The tour guide had even looked out at the monstrous, hulking structure with wistful affection as she’d talked, but, to him, it had just looked like an eyesore. It still did.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As he entered the main atrium, slowly pushing open the heavy glass door with both hands, Yuta had to admit that the interior still presented an impressive tableau. He had, once upon a time, been awed by the shiny silver accents on the light fixtures and wall displays, and by the way the floor always seemed to gleam like it was freshly polished. It had looked expensive, imposing, and somewhere he would have gladly jumped at the chance to spend four years of his life. Things hadn't worked out that way, and it looked a little more tired than opulent to him now, but he could still appreciate it for the dream it had once presented for nineteen-year-old Nakamoto Yuta.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Glancing down at the crumpled slip of paper in his hands, Yuta scanned the neat, handwritten instructions until he found the line he was looking for. The studio he wanted was on the fifth floor, so he hurried over to the wall of elevators and tapped the call button twice. The note had been mysteriously dropped off for him at the Annex, two days after he’d discussed his dancing past with Ten at the Epsilon Eta Phi party, in a small, black envelope with just his first name on it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jungwoo had taken delivery of it, since Yuta had been in the lab, hard at work on his final research project, and then it had sat unopened on his desk for over a week. After he’d mustered the mental fortitude required to actually look inside the envelope, he’d grappled with what he was going to do about it for another few weeks, before he finally convinced himself that he had nothing to lose. He was only going to watch them, he reminded himself, as the light above one of the metal elevator doors dinged and it slid open smoothly. He would watch a practice, maybe hang out and get to know Ten a little bit afterwards, and then go home. He wouldn't be expected to dance today—or ever—if he wasn't ready.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When the elevator doors opened out onto the fifth floor, Yuta almost let them close again without disembarking. He didn't know why he was so nervous about something as easy as putting one foot in front of the other, but it took a few seconds before he was able to push up off the mirrored wall behind him and step out into the corridor. Once out, the lift dinged again, but Yuta ignored it in favour of examining the signage above his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Room 5F, the note had said; he didn't need to check it again. The signs told him it was on the other side of the building, so he set off in search of it, passing by several brightly lit practice rooms on his way. Each one teemed with life, or so it seemed, as Yuta allowed his gaze to linger for an extra few seconds on a group of girls executing quick, synchronised moves at the centre of a large room to his left. They didn't even notice him, as he paused to peer in through the glass panel in the door, focused as they were on each other and the mirrors set into the far wall. A bead of sweat fell from one of their brows as he watched, splashing the floorboards, but the girl didn't react, eyes fixed steadfastly on her reflection.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>An odd swell of nostalgia and melancholy swept through Yuta, as he pulled his attention from their practice and continued on his way. It wasn't so long ago that he’d been like that, he recalled, his whole existence so wrapped up in dance that he would have happily spent hours on end perfecting moves until he could perform them in his sleep. He’d loved it so much that it hadn't even seemed like a hardship back then, enduring the late nights, the aching muscles and the inevitable avalanche of medical tape and ice packs. It had been worth it—at least until it all came to an abrupt end for him—and he wasn't too proud to admit that he still missed it like crazy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yuta-ssi?” He glanced up, seeing a familiar face peering curiously out of a door at him. Ten’s arm was hooked around the door frame, the younger man practically falling out of the room in his eagerness to attract Yuta’s attention, and he had a surprised smile on his lips. “I didn't expect to see you here this afternoon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Call me hyung, please,” Yuta insisted, before his brain had time to fully process that the lettering on the door indicated it was the one he’d been looking for, and Ten’s smile grew.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yuta-hyung.” The younger man acquiesced quickly, pushing the door open a little further and stepping out into the hallway. Ten was wearing all black, slim-fitting workout clothes that highlighted his slight tan and his distinct lack of shoes. He wriggled his toes when he noticed Yuta staring, and the older man quickly forced his gaze back up to Ten’s face. “Are you here to join us?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not today.” Yuta shook his head, ignoring the way that Ten’s face fell slightly at his words. He hadn't missed the hopeful tone in the other man’s voice, but he didn't want to let him down. It was better that he made his intentions clear from the very start, to avoid any misunderstandings later. “I haven’t danced properly like this,” he pointed at the room behind Ten, where he could now see several other students stretching and chatting with each other, “in a very long time. I’m not ready for that yet, but I still wanted to come by and see what it’s like.” He hesitated. “If that’s okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course.” Ten’s smile returned with full force and he stepped backwards into the practice room, waving a hand to invite Yuta to follow him. He spun on his heel as he entered, stepping lightly across the sprung floor, and cleared his throat loudly. At the sound, the dozen or so people in the room stopped what they were doing and looked up at them, all eyes widening slightly in surprise as they took in Yuta hovering indecisively just behind Ten.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is that…?” one of them, a slender man around Ten’s height started to ask, but he was quickly silenced by a pointed glare from his teammate. Ten smoothly stepped to one side, exposing Yuta to the room, and pointed back at him over his shoulder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This is Nakamoto Yuta,” he explained, ignoring the gasp of shock from the girl to his immediate left. “He’s just visiting us today, so please don’t overwhelm him.” He glanced back at Yuta and flashed him an apologetic smile. “They knew I told you about our group, and they’ve been hoping you might turn up at some point. I hope you don’t mind.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yuta shook his head, shrugging in a way he hoped would diffuse the weird energy that suddenly filled the room. He wasn't shy about attention; he was well-liked in daily life, and confident enough in himself to become the life of the party whenever he wanted to be, but this felt a bit like being trapped inside a fishbowl. The way these dancers stared at him, like he was a performing bear in a circus sideshow, made him feel uneasy. He had known they would be curious, Ten had said as much when they’d first spoken about it, but he hadn't expected it to this extent.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Ten said abruptly, apparently realising his discomfort. “Let’s get started. Yuta-hyung is just going to watch for today, so let’s show him what we can do.” He clapped his hands imperiously, and the others dispersed quickly, heading off in different directions like they knew what they were meant to be doing. One man walked over to the media centre at the back, opening a cupboard and turning on the sound system, while some of the others made quick work of moving all their bags and jackets out of the way, piling them haphazardly to one side of the open space.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sit anywhere,” Ten offered, gesturing towards the back of the room and then along the short wall nearest the door. There were several chairs dotted about, as well as a few comfy looking bean bag chairs squashed up against the back wall, so Yuta chose a spot that would hopefully be largely out of eyeshot while they danced. He had no intention of getting in the way—he had told the truth when he’d said he just wanted to watch, even if the low, pulsing beat of the music that started to pump through the speakers made him want to get right back up again—so he curled up in his seat, legs crossed beneath him, and watched as the dancers moved into position.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yuta let himself get lost in the music and the artistry as he watched Ten and his friends start to move, working together like a well-oiled machine. The choreography was fast-paced and energetic, such that he couldn’t immediately analyse and absorb each individual move as he might once have done, but he grew to understand the shapes and basic floor coverage they were making use of pretty quickly. Aside from a few furtive glances in his direction at the end of the first run-through, Yuta was relieved to find that they largely seemed to forget about his existence, as they ran the dance a second and then a third time, fine-tuning small details as they went.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you think?” He jumped, gaze darting away from his own reflection in the floor-to-ceiling mirror opposite, as Ten slid onto the chair next to him, leaning against the cool wall at his back. Ten’s skin glistened with sweat and he’d shed a layer of clothing, leaving him in just a thin grey tank, but his breathing was deep and even. Most of the others weren't quite as relaxed, sprawled out across the floor in varying phases of exhaustion, but Ten looked almost completely unaffected by the thirty minutes of intensive cardio he’d just engaged in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You guys are great,” Yuta said quickly, not needing to dig deep for a compliment. They really </span>
  <em>
    <span>were</span>
  </em>
  <span> good, he’d seen that from just the first few seconds of the routine, and Ten himself had an effortless precision and fluidity to his movements that high school Yuta would have gladly killed for. “Who choreographed that? It’s nicely done.” Ten flushed, cheeks reddening as he pointed a finger at his chest. Yuta smirked, amused that it had taken a compliment to finally make the younger man look like he’d exerted himself at all, and Ten easily echoed his expression.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s just something I’ve been working on for the last few weeks.” Ten shrugged like it was no big deal, but his whole body shifted to face Yuta as he spoke. “I was hoping that I could help us get an edge in the next monthly showcase, by doing something completely different, you know?” Yuta nodded, picturing one of the more unconventional sequences from what he’d just witnessed. It was certainly different. “Do you really think it’s okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s more than okay, Ten,” Yuta insisted. He thought for a moment, then focused on Ten’s face. “That formation in the bridge, the one with the four of you in the middle…” He broke off, gesturing in the air in a way that he hoped would make sense to the other man. Ten nodded, and Yuta figured that meant he did, so he continued. “...that’s genius. Have you considered doing something similar earlier in the song, so that it feels like a reprise when you get to the bridge?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ten frowned, studying Yuta carefully, so the older man pushed up out of his seat and stepped a few paces away from the wall. Turning his back to the rest of the room, he quickly demonstrated to Ten what he’d been thinking about ever since the second run-through, humming the tune of the chorus to the best of his ability as muscle memory took over. It wasn't like he was going hard, in the way he knew the group would be in his place, but it was enough to allow Ten to visualise what was going on inside his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I—I actually really like that,” Ten mused, fingers already moving instinctually as he followed Yuta’s movements. “It fits better than what I had before.” He stood, falling quickly into step with the older man, and, over the next five minutes, they paced out new choreography together to replace a weaker section in the middle of the routine. Yuta didn't even notice that they had an audience until he turned around to find all eyes in the room on him and Ten, many openly whispering to one another as they watched.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He briefly considered shrinking away from the attention, returning to his seat and leaving Ten to his own devices, but realised that it was too late for that when Ten called everyone over and started to demonstrate the new moves. When Yuta didn't immediately join in, Ten nudged him lightly in the arm and offered him an encouraging smile. Figuring that it couldn't hurt, he dropped in on the next beat and felt a huge metaphorical weight drop from his shoulders as he let himself enjoy each precise movement of his limbs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If anyone asked afterwards, Yuta would swear blind that he didn't know exactly when things changed, but it was probably the moment when the music started up again, the first few pounding beats vibrating the floor beneath his boots and tingling every inch of his skin with delightful anticipation. He shucked his shoes and socks a few seconds later, shrugging off his hoodie as he joined the back of the formation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn't have a fixed position the first time through, although that quickly changed as the other dancers shifted to make space for him, but it didn't matter. From the very first step, feeling the gentle give of the loaded floorboards beneath his bare toes as he moved, he was hooked. It wasn't like he’d never left—it couldn't be, not after four years of running away from this feeling—but it felt an awful lot like coming home.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You all worked hard today,” Ten told the room, bowing his head to his companions as the music came to an end for the last time. The hour hand on the clock on the wall slid into place over the seven with finality, announcing the end of their time in the practice room, and Yuta wiped the back of his hand over his damp forehead. “I’ll see you all here on Thursday afternoon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A few pairs of eyes shifted to Yuta as Ten spoke, but the man busied himself with pulling his shoes back on to avoid their gazes. He’d already resolved to come back, unexpected commitments or circumstances aside, but he didn't want to give them false hope if he changed his mind between then and now. He heard the sounds of casual conversation and movement behind him, but let it wash over him as he retrieved his other belongings and pulled his hoodie back on over his head. The fabric felt unpleasant against his skin, and he knew he’d need a shower as soon as he got home. He made a mental note for next time to bring more suitable clothing, since it seemed inevitable that he’d be getting sweaty again for the cause. It was a bit late to avoid that now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you have fun?” Ten appeared in his peripheral, dropping down into Yuta’s long-since vacated chair to watch him. Ten hadn't bothered to put his over-shirt back on, but it was thrown loosely over his shoulders like a lopsided cape. It looked completely ridiculous, but Yuta didn't mention it, focusing on his question instead.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“More than I expected,” he agreed, rolling his neck as he straightened up to look directly at the younger man. Ten looked thoroughly unsurprised by this answer, but nodded regardless.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Think you might be back?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yuta chuckled softly, to detract from the way his heart started to hammer in his chest at the prospect. “I’m going to have to, aren't I? No one else is going to perfect your choreo for you.” Ten snorted with laughter, rolling his eyes in a facsimile of offence, and shook his head good-naturedly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You wish.” He paused for a moment, face sobering as he studied Yuta intently. “You’re really talented, hyung.” Yuta started to disagree, but Ten didn't give him the chance. “I know you were frustrated at times today, because you couldn’t get every move perfect the first time, but the way you dance is amazing to watch.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hardly.” He knew that Ten was speaking from the heart, from the earnestness in the other man’s eyes, but it didn't make all the gaping holes and weaknesses in his technique go away. Yuta knew that, once upon a time, he’d been good—he still had the scholarship offer tucked away in a drawer in his desk back home to prove it—but dance was a dynamic art form, one that demanded constant dedication and commitment. It had been far too long since he’d indulged, and now he was well behind the pace of even the weakest dancers in Ten’s crew.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’ll come back faster than you think,” Ten told him, startling Yuta as he realised he’d spoken his fears aloud. He wasn't sure how to respond to that, so, when Ten stood and held out a hand to him, Yuta took it without question. “Come on.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where are we going?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“For a walk,” Ten said evasively, pulling the older man over to the door to the practice room and out into the corridor beyond. Yuta expected that they might head straight for the elevators, following the last of the group of dancers who had vacated the room ahead of them, but Ten surprised him by leading them in the opposite direction, further into the building. When he was sure that Yuta was following, Ten let their joined hands swing free, but stayed tucked in close to his side as they walked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So,” Ten said after a few moments of quiet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So?” Yuta stopped examining the wall display to his right and looked down at the man beside him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s your story?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yuta stiffened, expecting the question but still surprised by the bluntness and the lack of subtlety with which it was asked. He narrowed his eyes at Ten, filling in the missing half of the query with detached resignation. “You mean, why don’t I dance anymore?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No.” Ten stopped walking, turning to face him. “I know that’s personal, so I won’t ask, if you’re not willing to share.” He sighed, and Yuta felt the hostility drain from him instantly. Ten was an open book, at least when it came to his curiosities, and he was clearly telling the truth. He was curious, Yuta knew that, but he genuinely hadn’t been prying with his question.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then what?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tell me something about you,” Ten volunteered, resuming his slow pace as they made their way down the empty corridor. The practice rooms here were almost all dark and empty, Yuta noted, as they passed. “Anything. You said you were a science major. What’s that like?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For a long moment, Yuta didn't answer, torn between continuing with the light tone Ten had instigated and being open with what he knew the younger man really wanted to know. It wasn't like he was precious about it, after all, but Ten didn't know that. He had been nothing but supportive so far, and he would find out sooner or later. It wasn't something Yuta hid on purpose; just, nobody ever really asked anymore.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was eighteen,” he began. Ten opened his mouth to say something, then closed it quickly, watching Yuta’s face with thinly-veiled interest. “There was a global audition in my city, for some big entertainment company. I don’t even remember which one anymore, because my parents stopped me from going.” He thought back to the screaming fight he’d had with his father about it, but decided that he could spare Ten the gory details. “I was so desperate to audition, wanting to try to make it big as a dancer, but they were both adamant that it would never work.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I had something similar with my family,” Ten said softly, but didn't offer any other details, so Yuta continued.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Anyway, it took some time but, eventually, we came to a compromise, or so I thought. I started to look for universities that would let me dance part-time, while also getting a degree in something—” He smiled acerbically then, hearing the words echoing inside his head in his father’s uncompromising tone. “—actually useful.” His face fell, and Ten winced in sympathy. “I found this one, and it seemed perfect. We visited over winter break, I fell in love with the department and the courses, and I applied.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You got in,” Ten said, brows pulled together in a sad frown. It didn't take a genius to figure out that things hadn't quite gone to plan after that. “You got the scholarship too. So what happened?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The scholarship was for dance, Ten-ah,” Yuta told him. “Just dance. Full time. For a while, after I found out, they acted like they were really proud of me. My dad even said he’d pay for my tuition. It wasn’t the way I’d originally planned for my life to go, but I was so excited. I would move to Korea after high school ended, finally be out from under the shadow of their expectations, and I could live out my dreams.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yuta sighed. “Then I came home from school one day to find my mother crying uncontrollably. She’d been out to lunch with her friends, and she’d had to lie about what her son planned to do with his life when they asked. They wouldn't understand, she said, that her only boy was choosing to throw away his future to become a dancer.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s not—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know.” Yuta smiled down at Ten then, and there was no hint of resentment in his eyes. “This was a long time ago, and I’ve made my peace with it. I asked her that day what would make her proud, what she dreamed of for my life.” He rubbed a hand over the damp hairs on the back of his neck, wiping away the cooling sweat that beaded there. “A doctor; that’s what she wanted, so that’s what I aimed for. I never made pre-med, obviously, but I joined the general science programme and now she smiles every time I call to tell her about my lab work. I figure that’s good enough.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I—I’m sorry.” Ten wouldn't meet his eyes as he spoke, so Yuta leant forward to press a hand to the younger man’s shoulder reassuringly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine. Honestly.” Ten looked up, and Yuta made sure to unleash a bright smile, pushing away the hint of lingering sadness within. “Besides, now I get to do both again, because of you.” He winked at Ten, who flushed pink. “I should be thanking you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just promise me you’ll come back, and I’ll call us even,” Ten muttered, trying to hold back a grin at the sudden playful tone in the other man’s voice. It was abrupt and a little jarring, but he’d take it over the somber side of Yuta any day. This man should never be sad, Ten thought earnestly, as they turned the corner into a new hallway.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just try to keep me away,” Yuta said, looping an arm around Ten’s shoulders easily. He pulled the shorter man into his side, tucking him under his arm like he so often did to his roommates, and squeezed. “You’re stuck with me now, friend.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were still laughing as they turned yet another corner, this time heading into a familiar corridor with a sign for the elevators just above their heads. They must have walked all the way around the fifth floor, Yuta realised, remembering the number of right turns they had made. If they kept walking, they’d inevitably make it back to room 5F again eventually, ready to start all over again. He wouldn't hesitate to jump right in this time, he knew, despite having a long way to go before he would feel like a cohesive member of the team. He wouldn't be much help to Ten in any showcases or competitions just yet, not in this condition, but there was a tiny spark of optimism in Yuta’s soul that hadn’t been there a few short hours ago. He was excited to give it a shot.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Woah.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” he asked. Ten slipped out from under his arm as the younger man stopped moving, Yuta’s momentum taking him a few steps further down the hall before he realised what was happening. Retracing his steps to rejoin Ten, he followed the man’s gaze over to the door of a room labelled 5W. The light was on and the soft strains of a mellow instrumental floated out into the hallway, but, from where he stood, Yuta couldn't see anyone inside. Assuming that Ten’s attention wouldn’t have been captivated by an empty room, Yuta stepped closer to his newest friend and peered in through the glass over his shoulder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“See that guy?” Ten whispered, as Yuta’s eyes finally landed on a lone figure warming up in the far corner of the otherwise empty room. They looked to be a man, from the broader set of their shoulders and the closely clipped brown hair at the nape of their neck, but it was hard to tell from this vantage point. He found himself creeping even closer, trying to see more of the lithe individual, who had just dropped into a wide-legged floor stretch that looked like it might castrate Yuta if he tried it. Perhaps it was a woman then, or maybe someone who chose not to conform to societal norms, even though Ten had definitely said </span>
  <em>
    <span>guy</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Either way, Yuta found he was unable to look away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who are they?” he asked, lowering his voice to match Ten’s. He didn't quite know why, since the music and the closed door would easily mask any noise they might be making, but it felt like, if they raised their voices, they would disturb whoever was inside. He didn’t want to disturb them, not just yet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s one of the guys I told you about,” Ten explained, joining him closer to the door. He was watching Yuta now, but the older man was still busy watching as the mystery dancer sat up and transitioned fluidly into a new stretch. The way they moved was effortlessly graceful, Yuta thought as he watched, an agile suppleness that was at odds with the aggressive nature of his own dance style. “His brother works in the bar. They’re the ones that win every time in the showcases.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Really?” Yuta looked away from the man in the practice room just long enough to shoot Ten a disbelieving look. Sure, he looked graceful and ethereal—and a hundred and one other poetic descriptors that probably shouldn’t apply just to the back of someone’s head, yet seemed to fit perfectly in this case—but Ten was the best student dancer he’d seen in years. The group he’d just danced with was a force to be reckoned with, with Ten at the helm, and he had a hard time believing a pair of brothers, no matter how good they were, could beat the synchronicity and sheer presence of over a dozen well-practised junior and senior dance majors at the top of their game.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“His brother is no joke, hyung,” Ten hissed, tilting his head conspiratorially towards the door like the man might suddenly be listening on the other side, “but together they’re unstoppable. It’s like they share a brain when they dance. No matter what I choreograph each month, they’ve always got something new up their sleeve.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I find that hard to believe.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ll see.” Ten smiled up at him then, eyes lighting up in anticipation despite his previous words. Great performers were great performers, Yuta guessed, whether they were beating you or not. “If you join us, you’ll see.” Ten paused, then his smile seemed to grow immeasurably broader. “Although, maybe next time, it’ll be us that surprises </span>
  <em>
    <span>them</span>
  </em>
  <span> for once.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe,” Yuta agreed, returning the smile generously. Turning his attention back to the man inside the practice room, he bit back a gasp as the figure turned to one side and he caught sight of part of the man’s face. Under the bright lights overhead, pale skin seemed to glow from within as the man turned, full lips parted and chest heaving as he started to flow and ebb in time with the music, feet barely seeming to touch the ground with each movement. “What’s his name?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your teenage friend asked me the same thing last time we talked, if I recall. Hyuck, I think it was. Jaehyun’s kid brother.” Yuta did vaguely remember that exchange, now he thought about it, but he couldn't remember if Ten had answered. He’d like to think he’d remember, especially now he’d actually laid eyes on the dancer in question, but it was all a big blank in his mind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn't know then, and I still don’t know now,” Ten admitted, sounding mildly embarrassed. “I haven't seen either of them lately—I didn't even know they used studio space here—or I definitely would have asked.” Yuta wasn't sure which of them Ten was trying to convince, but it didn't matter. There was no time like the present.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why don’t we ask him now?” His hand was already halfway to the door handle when Ten’s fingers clamped down on his arm, pulling him away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.” When Yuta just stared at him quizzically, Ten sighed and tried to explain. “He and his brother don’t really talk to anyone, as far as I can tell. At least, not any of the other dancers at the showcases. I get the impression that they mostly keep to themselves, so maybe he doesn’t want to be disturbed. If both of us go barging in on him right now, it might scare him if he’s shy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” Yuta wasn't sure what to make of that. He didn't want to upset him, whoever he was, but he also had a sudden, insurmountable urge to go speak to the man, to learn his name and—well, everything else about him. They might turn out to have absolutely nothing in common, but Yuta was sure that he’d enjoy every single second of finding out. “He seems…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Aloof? Intimidating?” Ten threw suggestions out with a shrug. “A bit standoffish?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He seems beautiful,” Yuta concluded. Too late, he realised that was probably more than he’d wanted to share, especially when Ten let out a bark of breathy, surprised laughter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Damn, boy,” Ten muttered in English, patting Yuta on the arm. Yuta couldn't understand the exact meaning, but the tone was enough for him to pick up some context, or so he hoped. “Well, okay. Feel free to go and shoot your shot with the poor boy. He won’t even know what hit him.” Ten glanced down at his watch, then back up at Yuta as he transitioned smoothly back into a language the older man would understand. “I need to leave, but you should go in and say hello.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You think?” Yuta sounded hesitant now, glancing over at the door like he was doubting everything he’d just said over the past few minutes, but Ten nodded encouragingly and squeezed his arm again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Go for it. What’s the worst that could happen?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn't give Yuta a chance to answer that question, setting off down the hall towards the elevators without a backwards glance. He waved once, raising a hand above his head as he walked, but he didn't look back to see Yuta return it. After he disappeared, the older man considered the closed practice room door for a few minutes, debating with himself about whether he was bold enough to open it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just do it, coward,” he finally muttered to himself, plastering on his patented Yuta-smile as he seized the door handle. Parroting Ten’s words quietly to himself, he pushed the door open and poked his head inside. “What’s the worst that could happen?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Up closer, the man was no less ethereal looking, with large, innocent eyes and a resolute determination in the set of his jaw as he launched into the neatest backflip Yuta had ever seen. For a heart-stopping moment, it looked like he wasn't going to land it properly, the power in the lift so subtle and controlled, but then his legs arched back under his body to bring him to a near-complete halt just a few steps from his starting position.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Due to the position of his body, the man didn't notice that he was no longer alone for a few long moments, allowing Yuta to grow increasingly abashed at openly spying on someone just minding their own business, but then he turned and let out a low grunt of surprise. His fingers fluttered up to press at his chest, ribs rising and falling in a rapid, staccato rhythm, and he took a hesitant step back from Yuta, away towards the far wall.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Yuta said quickly, raising both palms out in front of him repentantly. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I was just walking past and I saw you dancing.” When the other man didn't speak, instead just staring wide-eyed at him like a deer caught in the glare of a car headlight, Yuta tried again. “My name is Yuta.” He smiled brightly, which only seemed to scare the man even more, if that was even possible. “Are you okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A nod. That was a start, Yuta thought, as he took another step into the room, allowing the door to swing shut behind him. He briefly wondered if he should have propped it open, when the man’s gaze flicked to it over Yuta’s shoulder, but it was too late for that now. Instead, he stepped to one side, leaving the doorway clear, in case the beautiful stranger wanted to escape. The last thing he wanted was for anyone to feel trapped by him. He would never be that person, </span>
  <em>
    <span>could</span>
  </em>
  <span> never be that person, and he didn't want this man to get the wrong impression.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s your name?” This didn't get an answer, not even so much as a nod, so Yuta decided to try turning up the charm. It rarely ever failed him, no matter who he was talking to, so he was confident it would at least break the ice. “You realise, if you don’t tell me your name, I’ll have to make one up for you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The man just blinked at him, and Yuta’s confidence wilted a little. That wasn't the reaction he’d been hoping for. Any reaction was better than no reaction at all, but he wasn't a quitter. “My friend Ten—maybe you know him?—said that you win a lot of dance competitions he enters.” A subtle twitch of the upper lip, curling up just a little in one corner. That was something! “Maybe I’ll just call you </span>
  <em>
    <span>winner</span>
  </em>
  <span>, huh?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Another tantalising half-smirk, this time bigger but barely enough to go on. Still, Yuta was determined to see this thing through. “If you're a winner, I guess that would make me a loser.” Yuta grinned, holding his arms out on either side of his body in a nonchalant shrug. “Nice to meet you, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Winner</span>
  </em>
  <span>. You can call me </span>
  <em>
    <span>Loser</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As Yuta watched, the man silently mouthed the word </span>
  <em>
    <span>loser</span>
  </em>
  <span>, lips sounding out each of the three syllables slowly. His lips curled up again, seeming pleased with the way the Korean word felt to say, and then he said it again, loud enough for Yuta to hear this time. Realising that this train of thought might lead to trouble, Yuta tried to course-correct before it was too late.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Call me whatever you want, but my real name is still Yuta.” He wavered, as the man met his eye for the first time, gaze both penetrating and utterly disarming at the same time. The moment passed as quickly as it had begun, the man’s gaze moving to a spot over his shoulder, but it was enough to affect Yuta more than he’d thought possible. “You know, uh...just in case you wanted to use that instead.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yuta.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. That’s me.” Aware that he was now just staring awkwardly, having interrupted a private dance practice without warning, Yuta scrambled for something to say to explain himself. “Your dancing is beautiful, by the way. I know you must get that a lot, but I just wanted to let you know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks.” His voice was low, lower than Yuta had been expecting, and the surprise in the man’s face was unmistakable. It would appear that he </span>
  <em>
    <span>didn't</span>
  </em>
  <span> get that often after all, which confused Yuta, but then Ten had said that he didn’t often see them around. Maybe he and his brother usually practised elsewhere and not many people got to see him, to be able to compliment him there. If that was the case, that was a damn shame, Yuta thought absently, because talent always deserved to be recognised in all its forms and facets.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, uh…” Yuta took another step towards the other man, halting when he backed up again, maintaining the sizable distance between them. He’d been so sure that they were making progress, but Yuta could see disinterest and distrust when it was so clearly shoved in his face. He suspected that the man was naturally uneasy around new people, and Yuta knew he definitely wasn't the most low-key of new people, so he didn't want to overwhelm him, if that was the case. He could take a hint. He’d leave the beautiful stranger to his practice, and he’d do it with a smile. He’d patch up his ego later, in the privacy of the bus ride home.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll leave you to your practice,” Yuta said quickly, bowing his head politely to the man who still watched him warily. “I’m sorry to have interrupted. It was nice to meet you, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Winner</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” He flashed the man one last smile, then turned to leave. “I’ll see you around.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sicheng.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” He turned back to look at the stranger, who was now biting his lower lip nervously. If he hadn’t been so sure that the man had spoken, Yuta wouldn’t have lingered, reading the unease in the set of his shoulders like a neon sign on a dark street corner, but there had definitely been something. Quiet, but audible.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sicheng.” The man baulked, as though surprised by his own voice, but then he spoke again. “My name is Sicheng.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nice to meet you, Sicheng-ah,” Yuta said slowly, hoping not to scare the man off again. When he didn't react, other than tracking Yuta’s movements with his eyes intently, the name fell from the older man’s lips again. “Si Cheng.” It was a beautiful name, one that fitted its owner perfectly, Yuta thought. It was also the first concrete thing he knew about the mysterious dancer, other than a few fleeting visuals of a unique creative style. It was a start, one that Yuta hadn’t been expecting just seconds earlier. It was a peace offering of sorts, and he’d accept it with open arms.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How old are y—?” Yuta started to ask, when the music cut off abruptly and a harsh ringtone echoed through the room via the speakers. Jumping at the sound, Sicheng turned his back on Yuta and hurried over to the sound system behind him, pulling out the cord connecting his phone to the system and pressing the device quickly to his ear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello?” Yuta wondered whether he should leave, to allow the man his privacy, but Sicheng didn't seem to be any more concerned about his presence than he had been before. If anything, he seemed to temporarily forget Yuta was even there, pacing in small, concentric circles as he listened to whoever was on the other end. “Okay, I understand. I’ll be there.” He listened again, then nodded. “It’s fine, hyung. I don’t mind.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As he hung up, Sicheng turned his attention back onto Yuta, holding his phone loosely at his side. He grimaced apologetically, looking genuinely disappointed as he spoke. “I’m sorry. I have to go.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is everything okay?” Yuta asked, as the other man started to gather his belongings, piling them into a small messenger bag quickly. When he was done, Sicheng looped the strap over his head, making sure that the flap was buckled down over the opening properly before he moved.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My brother got caught up at work.” He still sounded hesitant as he spoke, like he half-expected Yuta to grow horns and a forked tail at any moment, but it was the longest sentence he’d spoken since they’d met and he made eye contact the whole time—more or less; Yuta’s cheek basically counted as his eye, if anyone wanted to fight him on it. “Taeyongie-hyung was going to pick up Jisung on his way home, but now he can’t.” Yuta froze at that, trying to remember what Dongyoung had said his Mr Perfect’s name was. He thought it was Taeyong too, but there had to be more than one person with that name on campus. It was just a coincidence, right?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just hope I can make it to Neo City and back in time for…” Sicheng broke off, striding purposefully towards the door, and Yuta got the impression he was talking to himself now, more than to the only other person in the room. “I still have an hour and a half. I can make it...”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who’s Jisung?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I—” Sicheng suddenly seemed to remember Yuta was there again, flushing as he glanced over at the other man. Ignoring the question, he offered up a small, apologetic smile, and then pointed towards the door with his index finger. “I’m sorry. I really need to go. I’ll, uh—I’ll see you around, Yuta-ssi.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yuta-hyung!” The senior wasn't sure if Sicheng even heard him, because he was gone so quickly, shoving his way through the door and letting it slam shut behind him. Yuta caught one last glance of his face, lip firmly back between his teeth and then Sicheng disappeared, beyond the glass of the viewing window. “Well, I think that went well.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For a moment, Yuta hesitated, unsure of whether or not he should run after the beautiful not-so-stranger, to offer his help with whatever mission he was embarking on, but then he remembered that Neo City was easily a forty-minute drive on a quiet day and he didn't have a car. Fat lot of good he’d be, he thought, as he pulled his phone out and checked the time. He still had a half-hour until the next bus, so he figured that would be his best option. He would try to be Sicheng’s white knight next time around, when he had a better chance of actually succeeding.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Taeyongie-hyung.” Yuta echoed Sicheng’s words into the silence of the newly-empty practice room, considering his previous thoughts carefully. “I wonder.” There was one way to know for sure, he reasoned, flicking to his contacts and quickly locating the speed dial for Dongyoung, right at the top between Taeil-hyung and his older sister. Tapping it, he put the phone on loudspeaker and listened to it ring.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello?” His roommate’s voice sounded distant and a little crackly, but the impatient tone was all Dongyoung.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Do. You got a second?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh…kind of.” Dongyoung hesitated and, in the brief quiet, Yuta could hear several other voices in the background. They didn't immediately sound familiar, so he didn't think Dongyoung was at home.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where are you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m at Jaehyun’s house with Hyuck.” Yuta’s brows rose at that, and he frowned. Of all the places in the world he could have guessed, that wouldn't have been the last, but it also wouldn’t have broken the top ten.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why?” he asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dongyoung sighed, and Yuta heard one of the faint voices in the background asking if he was okay. There was a burst of muffled activity, then a door banged shut and everything went quiet. “Long story, hyung,” he explained. “High school drama. Something about a date gone sideways.” He chuckled wryly, and Yuta smiled at the melodic sound. “Admittedly, it’s a bit more complicated than I was initially expecting, but nothing I can’t handle. What do you need?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn't know when Dongyoung and Hyuck had gotten so close, but it was sweet how attentive and affectionate his friend was towards the teenager. The kid had everyone wrapped around his finger at this point, and he probably didn't even have a clue. Jaehyun would eventually regret introducing them all at this rate, but it wouldn't do him any good. Donghyuck was firmly stuck with five overly-protective brothers now, instead of just the one he’d been born with.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll make it quick, but I just had a couple of questions.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s Mr Perfect’s name?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dongyoung went silent so long that Yuta almost thought he wasn't going to answer, but, eventually, he recovered enough to confirm Yuta’s suspicions. “His name is Taeyong. Why do you ask?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Great. And does Taeyong, by any chance, happen to have a brother called Sicheng?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How did you know that?” That was as good a confirmation as any, Yuta guessed, as he grinned into his phone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have my sources.” Dongyoung groaned in frustration, but didn't push the issue. He knew Yuta too well at this point, having lived together for nearly three years. He’d tell Dongyoung when he felt like it, and not a moment sooner.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is that all you wanted to know?” Dongyoung asked, as the noise on his end started back up in earnest again. This time, Yuta could make out Donghyuck’s voice, although he couldn't understand what was being said. “I’m being summoned again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just one more question.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tell me everything you know about Sicheng.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The line went dead, just as he’d expected it would, but Dongyoung’s exasperated sigh was well worth the effort. Yuta would interrogate him later, when they were both home. For now, though, he had a bus to catch and some day—or evening—dreaming to do.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Tomorrow is going to be NoRen's big date, so place your bets for that in the comments. Any expectations? Predictions? Other thoughts on past, present and future events? Sharing is caring...</p><p>Also, we hit 1000 kudos on this thing this week, so a huge thank you to everyone for that. I'm once again in awe!</p><p>As always, have a wonderful day!</p><p>  <strong>EIGHT</strong></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0037"><h2>37. Chapter 37</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I planned to give you this yesterday, but things didn't quite go to plan. It got to 3 am and I really wasn't happy with what I'd written, so I went to bed. I'm honestly still not 100% satisfied, to tell you the truth, but I need to get this out into the universe for my own sanity. This chapter was easily the hardest one to write so far. I've struggled with it for far too long at this point, and the word count is bloated beyond saving, but I hope you enjoy it.</p><p>I also know I said things were going to be lighter for a few chapters, but that didn't happen. I tried, I really did! The first half of this really is just NoRen being the softest boys in the whole world, but Renjun kind of forced my hand in the second half. The result is the epitome of the 'angst and fluff' tag, but it had to happen eventually.</p><p>TW: Panic Attack. It's not super detailed or extreme, but this Renjun is a sensitive soul. Be warned.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Injunie, you’re overthinking this again.”</p><p> </p><p>“But, what if…?”</p><p> </p><p>“Stop. It’s going to be great. Trust me.” Despite his misgivings—and he had many—Renjun had to admit that Donghyuck was right. The disembodied voice of his best friend, piped into his ears via the substandard sound system in his car, was speaking nothing but reason, which was something he needed a whole lot of right at this moment.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m nervous,” he admitted, letting his forearms rest lightly on top of the steering wheel as he stared out into the busy street beyond his dash. He’d been holed up in his car for at least ten minutes at this point, having arrived in plenty of time for his date with Jeno, only to allow the inevitable march of time to tempt him into chickening out altogether.</p><p> </p><p>“I know.” Donghyuck broke up for a few seconds and Renjun missed the start of the next sentence, but it was the same thing the younger boy had been saying to him for days. He knew, way down deep inside where the sun didn't shine, that Jeno had absolutely no idea what had occurred between him and Jaemin a few days earlier—why would he? It wasn’t like any of the three of them would have told him—but it was hard to persuade the tightly-wound, emotional side of him of that. Renjun was terrified that Jeno would take one look at him, sense the conflict within, and run for the hills.  “...put it all out of your mind today and just try to have fun.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll do my best, Hyuckie.” Renjun took a deep, centering breath, which escaped in a rush as he spotted a familiar head of dark hair weaving through the crowds on the sidewalk toward him, and knew that his time to panic was over. He would take Donghyuck’s advice and push everything else aside today, he assured himself. He would let himself have some fun with his crush, enjoying the date he’d imagined so many times over the years. It wouldn't be perfect—nothing ever was—but it could be a great memory, if he allowed it to be. “I’ve got to go. He’s here.”</p><p> </p><p>“I love you—” Renjun cut off Donghyuck’s profession, tapping his phone to disconnect the call just as Lee Jeno tapped on the driver’s side window and peered in through the glass. Plastering a broad smile onto his face, the older boy pushed up off the wheel and turned to face him, flicking the lock so that Jeno could pull open the door that stood between them.</p><p> </p><p>“Hi.” Jeno’s whole face lit up as he stared down at Renjun, one arm propped casually against the exterior of the metal chassis. At that, Renjun felt some of his remaining anxiety flee, because Jeno looked genuinely delighted to see him. There were no signs of trepidation on his end, not even the faintest hint of doubt in his dark eyes, and that meant that he hadn’t yet seen through Renjun’s thin veneer of calm. He could work with that, he reasoned, channelling Jeno’s enthusiasm until it felt like his own—until it <em> was </em> his own.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey.” Renjun grinned up at Jeno, a touch more genuinely this time, and made quick work of unclipping his seatbelt. Jeno stepped back to allow him space to vacate the vehicle, leaning in quickly to rescue Renjun’s keys when he almost left them behind, and then waited patiently while the older boy retrieved his winter coat from the back seat. It was chilly, the season still teetering on the precipice of winter, so Renjun had come prepared. Jeno had given away no clues as to their itinerary, other than to tell him to dress warmly, so he was taking no chances.</p><p> </p><p>“Ready?” Jeno offered Renjun his arm, one elbow crooked pointedly in the other boy’s direction, but, when Renjun just stared at him for a long moment, he flushed and pulled it back into his chest. “Never mind.”</p><p> </p><p>“What did you—?” Renjun locked the car and shoved the keys deep into his coat pocket, following a sheepish looking Jeno across the street at a jog. Jeno seemed to be embarrassed by whatever had just happened, by a situation Renjun had clearly misjudged somehow, and he wanted to fix that. “What did I do wrong?”</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing,” Jeno insisted, far too quickly to be reassuring. When Renjun stopped walking, causing several members of the public to have to skirt around him, Jeno sighed and shrugged. “My sister said that, if I still wanted you to like me by the end of the date, I should try to be a perfect gentleman—whatever that’s supposed to mean.” Renjun felt his own cheeks start to heat up, even as a laugh threatened to bubble up in his throat, but Jeno was still talking. “I, uh—I watched some dramas over the weekend, for research. This one couple I saw walked arm in arm for their whole date and it looked cute, so I thought…” Jeno lowered his gaze to the cobblestones beneath his shoes, studiously avoiding Renjun’s eye.</p><p> </p><p>“We can do that.”</p><p> </p><p>“We can?” Jeno’s head snapped up, an innocently hopeful look in his eyes. Renjun nodded, and the younger boy visibly brightened. “Are you sure?”</p><p> </p><p>“Why not?” Before he could allow either of them to second guess his decision, Renjun reached for Jeno’s coat sleeve and tugged the boy over to him sharply. Jeno stumbled, but quickly regained his balance and then stared down at his arm, as Renjun looped his own through Jeno’s elbow. “See. Totally not weird.”</p><p> </p><p>“I—” Jeno opened his mouth to speak, then seemed to think better of it. Instead, a small, happy smile spread across his lips as they started to walk again. Renjun didn't know where they were going yet, but it didn't matter. The way Jeno’s warmth seeped into him from their closeness—not to mention the unmistakable outline of strong, lean muscles hidden beneath several layers of winter clothing—made him feel more at ease than he had been in days.</p><p> </p><p>“So, where are we going?” Jeno didn't have a bag or anything with him, or not that Renjun could see, so a picnic was likely out of the question. They were obviously going to be outside for some, or all of the date, hence the coats and the two layers of thermal socks Renjun currently wore, but he didn't know this area well enough to be able to predict where they were headed. They had chosen a quieter spot in the next town over to park and meet up—a fact that Renjun was grateful for, so they didn't have to worry about bumping into anyone they knew—but it left him very much in the dark as to the finer details.</p><p> </p><p>“You’ll see,” Jeno told him cryptically, reaching over to pat the back of Renjun’s hand where it stuck out from under his other arm. Renjun was surprised to find that it felt completely natural, despite the inorganic origins of their connection, and it was easy to return Jeno’s infectious smile when he met the younger boy’s eye.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay then.” With talk of upcoming date plans off the table, Renjun searched the safe corners of his brain for something to talk about. There were so many things he wanted to ask, so much he didn't yet know about the boy who walked beside him, but he didn't know where to start. “You, uh, mentioned your sister?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p> </p><p>“Tell me about her.” This was safe, or so Renjun hoped, and he really <em> was </em> curious. He’d not heard much about Jeno’s family, aside from a brief mention of his dad coming to some of their home games, and he wanted to get to know every minute detail of this boy’s life, for however long he was able to keep asking questions. Renjun wasn't foolish enough to think this would last forever, especially not with the secrets the older boy was keeping from Jeno, but he’d make the most of it while he could.</p><p> </p><p>As they walked, Jeno launched into a whistle-stop tour of his family history and childhood, his enthusiasm and the bounce in his step magnifying each time Renjun asked a question or laughed at one of his jokes. Jeno’s good mood was contagious and, before long, Renjun found himself completely relaxing into their conversation, all thoughts of Donghyuck and Jaemin fading into the background. It was nice, just listening to someone else talk, and Renjun felt himself leaning into Jeno’s side as the other boy guided them through the bustling streets of an unfamiliar town.</p><p> </p><p>By the time they arrived at a large park, about half a mile from where his car was parked, Renjun’s cheek was almost resting on Jeno’s shoulder. Neither of them had mentioned it and, if Jeno thought it odd, he was keeping it to himself. Still, as they stopped beside a small sign advertising a children’s play area, Renjun forced himself to straighten up and put a little bit of space between them. While nobody was paying them any mind, this was still a country in which people like them were not yet widely tolerated or accepted, and Renjun didn't want to cause a scene in a public park.</p><p> </p><p>“Are we going into the park?” he asked, missing the way that Jeno frowned down at his newly-vacated arm as the older boy stared out through the trees at the wide, open green space that stretched far into the distance. Renjun thought he could see water in the distance on the right, and the soft sounds of children playing swam through the air towards them from the gated play park to their left. “It’s pretty here.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ve always thought so too,” Jeno agreed, pointing in the direction of the water. “I used to come here with my mom when I was little, to feed the ducks. It’s a really nice walk around the lake, and I brought bread.” He fished around in his coat pocket, the one furthest from Renjun, and retrieved a very squashed paper bag. Holding it out to Renjun, he grimaced. “I swear it wasn’t that squished when I put it in there, but I hope the ducks won’t mind.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sure they’ll survive.” Renjun accepted the offered bread, loosing his grip from around Jeno’s forearm to allow him to hold the package with both hands. It was definitely less rounded than it would have been at the supermarket, Renjun noted, but he thought the ducks would like it all the same.</p><p> </p><p>“Does that sound fun?” The younger boy sounded a little hesitant, like there might be a single iota of Renjun’s being that wouldn’t be utterly delighted by the prospect of wandering aimlessly around a pretty park, talking to Jeno and feeding birds. “We can do something else, if you—”</p><p> </p><p>“It sounds perfect.” No date would ever be perfect—Renjun had told himself exactly that just a half-hour earlier—but he thought it might be possible to get close. Between the two of them, they’d do their very best. He made sure to meet Jeno’s gaze and flashed him a warm smile. “Let’s go feed some ducks.”</p><p> </p><p>As they made their way into the park, Renjun told Jeno all about his own family. Jeno practically invited himself over for dinner, especially after the older boy started describing his mom’s formidable cooking skills, and Renjun told him that she’d be thrilled to have another person to cater for. That led them smoothly into a discussion about their favourite foods, which quickly spiralled into detailing their favourite everything. By the time they arrived at the lake, which was much bigger than it had first appeared from the street, Renjun knew that Jeno loved cats, fast cars, indie-rock music and chocolate—and that he’d cried like a baby during almost every Disney movie he’d ever seen.</p><p> </p><p>“Even Frozen?” Renjun asked, as he opened the paper bag in his arms and offered it to Jeno. The younger boy tore off a large chunk of bread from inside, chuckling unabashedly, and nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“Especially Frozen. Only a man with no soul could listen to <em> Let it Go </em> without feeling things.”</p><p> </p><p>Deciding to magnanimously let that pass, Renjun pulled another handful of bread out for himself and followed Jeno over to the railing that overlooked the water below. There were dozens of birds bobbing around in the water, many of which he was pretty sure weren’t actually ducks, but Jeno started enthusiastically dropping food down to them regardless. After watching the boy track the path of each individual crumb for a few moments, Renjun started to tear up his piece into small bites for the ravenous horde that was starting to form below them.</p><p> </p><p>“I meant to ask before, but we got distracted debating anime,” he started to say. Jeno turned, leaning back against the low metal railing as he gave the older boy his undivided attention. He still tore off sections of bread, but now he just tossed them over his shoulder into the water without looking. “How is your music class going?”</p><p> </p><p>“My what?” Jeno’s brow furrowed in confusion, and his hand halted mid-throw. “What music class?”</p><p> </p><p>“The music theory class you needed extra credit for.” Jeno’s eyes widened, lips pressing together into a thin line, but Renjun wasn't finished. “Hyuck told me that was why you signed up to help with the show in the first place. Did you get enough hours in to make up your grade?”</p><p> </p><p>“About that…” Jeno had the decency to look flustered, and Renjun shot him a bemused look. “I’m not actually taking a music class this year. I took that class last semester.” When Renjun just stared at him, not connecting the dots fast enough, he huffed out an embarrassed breath. “I may have lied to Donghyuck about that, back when I first signed up.”</p><p> </p><p>“So, no extra credit?” Renjun wasn't sure why he was so caught up on that aspect of Jeno’s admission, considering that there was a lot else to unpack there, but he had to know. “You weren’t failing?”</p><p> </p><p>“No.” This time when he spoke, Jeno sounded almost proud, despite having just confessed to lying to his date’s best friend. His tone suggested that the very idea that he might have been failing a class was utterly preposterous, and Renjun had to agree.</p><p> </p><p>“I called it from the very start,” he exclaimed, clapping his hands together abruptly. The bread bag slipped from his grip, but he caught it before it fell. “I told Hyuckie there was absolutely no way you were failing. I knew it!” That mystery finally solved in his brain, Renjun focused back on Jeno’s face and asked his next burning question. “So why did you do it then? Why sign up?”</p><p> </p><p>Jeno laughed heartily, the sound loud enough to cause a few of their new avian friends to take flight across the lake away from them. “As embarrassing and cringeworthy as this is to admit, I told you the truth last week. I signed up so that I could meet you. I figured there was no way you’d notice me otherwise, so, when I saw your name on that list, it was too good an opportunity to pass up.”</p><p> </p><p>“I—” Renjun felt his brain rebooting, thoughts dragging through molasses for a few seconds as he struggled to insert that truth into his carefully crafted mental narrative, and then he registered the absolute absurdity of the other boy’s words. “You could have just come up to me in class and said hi, you know? Granted, I might have had a mild panic attack at first, but I would have definitely talked to you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Really?”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course.” The fact that Jeno even had to ask seemed ridiculous to Renjun, but the look of shock on Jeno’s face made it clear that he was genuinely surprised. “I’ve had a crush on you since middle school, and you’re…” He gestured towards his companion, fingers ghosting the outline of Jeno’s silhouette from head to toe. “...well, you’re Lee Jeno.”</p><p> </p><p>When the dumbstruck expression didn't leave Jeno, Renjun worried that he’d maybe said too much, but it was too late to take it back now. Besides, he was pretty sure Jeno liked him enough at this point to look past a pathetic middle school crush anyway. At least, he very much hoped so.</p><p> </p><p>“I could say the same about you,” Jeno told him, mercifully breaking the awkward silence. “You’re so far out of my league, I’m still half expecting to wake up from the best dream of my life any second now.” Renjun spluttered, ready to explain all of the reasons why Jeno was woefully misinformed, but the younger boy curtailed all of his protests with a gentle hand laid across Renjun’s arm. “Whatever the cause, I’m glad I finally asked you. And I’m glad you said yes.”</p><p> </p><p>A tiny twinge of guilt flared to life in Renjun’s gut at the unguarded, profoundly vulnerable look in Jeno’s eye as he spoke, their bodies so close together that he could have reached out and thrown his arms around the younger boy’s waist, but he quickly shoved it down. Now wasn't the right time to be worried about his own issues, not when Jeno was being nothing short of wonderful. He wasn't sure when the right time would be, but it definitely wasn't here, in a park full of people—and ducks—on their first date.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m glad too,” he said finally, offering Jeno a small, tight smile. He hoped Jeno wouldn't see the way it didn't quite reach his eyes, but the other boy didn't seem to notice. Renjun moved back over towards the railings and fished another chunk of bread out from the bag in his arms, changing the subject. “Anyway, does this mean that you can finally stop pretending to be into set design now?”</p><p> </p><p>“Hey! I’ll have you know, I’m incredibly passionate about the creative arts.” Jeno snorted, not even trying to pretend that he spoke the truth, and Renjun just rolled his eyes. Jeno launched what looked like half a loaf over the railing, both of them watching as it sank like a stone on impact, and then he chuckled again. “I’ll admit, I wasn't there just for the ambience at the start. It wasn't your excellent tutoring on the colour wheel that kept me coming back every week, if you catch my drift, but I’ve found that I quite enjoy it now. It’s relaxing—and the company is world-class.”</p><p> </p><p>“If you say so.”</p><p> </p><p>Over the next few minutes, the pair busied themselves by feeding the rest of the bread to the never-ending stream of ducks and miscellaneous waterfowl. When the bag was empty, Jeno took it from Renjun’s hands and carried it over to a nearby bin. Then he took Renjun’s hand, both of them pointedly ignoring the way his fingers shook as he did so, and they moved back from the railings. There was an empty bench a little further down the path, one with a good view of the water, so they claimed it as their own and made themselves comfortable as the afternoon slowly started to transition into evening.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you cold?” Jeno asked after a while, as Renjun tracked the path of a small flock of migrating birds across the setting sun on the horizon. He scooted a little closer to the older boy, until their thighs pressed together, and Renjun tried not to tense at the sudden proximity and the way it felt like a furnace against his skin wherever they touched.</p><p> </p><p>“Not really.” He wasn't. Jeno had made a good call, instructing him to dress warmly, and he couldn't really feel the bite of the chilled air anywhere other than at his cheeks and nose. His fingers were tucked deep into his coat pockets, following their earlier bread adventure, and they were slowly starting to warm up again too. He was comfortable, and as at peace as he thought possible at the moment.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh.” When he heard the bite of disappointment in Jeno’s tone, he twisted around to look at him. A small frown pulled down the corners of the younger boy’s lips, and Renjun had the sudden urge to push them back up with his fingers. Knowing that would be weird, he curled said fingers into fists inside his pockets, and focused on Jeno’s next words. “Do you think you could pretend you are?”</p><p> </p><p>“Uh… why?” He wasn't entirely opposed to the idea, especially if it meant that Jeno would get even closer to him on the bench, but it was a strange request.</p><p> </p><p>“No reason.”</p><p> </p><p>“Come on.” He nudged Jeno with his elbow, grinning up at him encouragingly. “Whatever it is, you can say it. I promise I won’t laugh.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll hold you to that,” Jeno muttered, then fixed his gaze resolutely on the lake in front of them. “In all the dramas I watched, that’s what happens when the lead gets cold. The love interest puts their arm around them, and it’s this big, grand gesture.” He paused, thinking intently for a moment, while Renjun fought to keep his composure and fulfil his promise. “I guess it wouldn't be quite as romantic if they had to explain it to their date first, huh?”</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe not,” Renjun conceded, shrugging. “It’s worth a try though.” He elbowed Jeno’s arm again and the boy looked down at him curiously. “Ask me again.”</p><p> </p><p>“What?”</p><p> </p><p>“Ask me again. I’ll play along.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t—” Jeno lifted a shaky hand to swipe it through his hair absently. Renjun didn't think he was even aware that he’d done it, focused as he was on the older boy’s face. “You don’t have to do that.”</p><p> </p><p>“I want to,” Renjun said. “Ask me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay. Uh… Are you cold?”</p><p> </p><p>“A little bit.” Renjun heard the soft intake of breath from the boy beside him, and decided not to look his way. Whatever Jeno was trying to do, it was so incredibly adorable and dorky that he could be patient. It wasn't like he had any more clue what he was doing with this sort of thing than Jeno did, but the way that Jeno seemed to delight in every simple touch and interaction made his heart soar, just like the birds that circled high overhead.</p><p> </p><p>“I can fix that,” Jeno intoned, sounding a little bit like he was reading off a script inside his head. Renjun waited quietly, a huge cheesy smile spreading across his face as Jeno looped a long arm over his shoulders and brought it down painstakingly slowly, until it just barely grazed the fabric of his coat. They sat like that for a few minutes, the line of Jeno’s body noticeably stiff and unwieldy as his arm hovered hesitantly in free space, before Renjun couldn't take it any longer.</p><p> </p><p>“Relax.” He thought about every time he’d ever been hugged by Donghyuck—trying very hard not to let an image of his friend replace Jeno’s face in his mind—and figured that it couldn't be all that different. It was certainly never this fraught with tension with Hyuck, he thought wryly. They both just needed to relax, and to not think so hard. He let himself ease into Jeno’s side, reaching up to tug the wavering arm down around his neck. His cheek hit Jeno’s chest a little too hard to be altogether pleasant, and they were both still ill at ease with the new closeness, but something about it felt right.</p><p> </p><p>“Is this okay?” Jeno asked, shifting his hand in Renjun’s until their fingers were loosely interlinked. Renjun nodded, and Jeno seemed to relax even more, leaning his body weight into Renjun like he’d been afraid to do so until this moment. They sat in silence, independently feeling out this change in their dynamic, and Renjun let his gaze wander out across the lake and over to the path that wound lazily around it.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you for this,” Renjun murmured after a while, as Jeno’s thumb slowly traced the side of his index finger. “It was a good idea for a date. The park is amazing.”</p><p> </p><p>“It really is,” Jeno agreed, shifting a little beneath Renjun. The older boy could feel Jeno’s heart beating under his cheek, the rhythm a little too fast to be completely nonchalant, but he suspected that the same was true for him at the moment too. He let the steady thump-thump fill his senses, the perfect backdrop to the setting sun and the panorama of unhurried human activity that they could see from the bench.</p><p> </p><p>“Can we stay to watch the sun go dow—?” Across the lake, a flurry of movement caught Renjun’s attention. An eerily familiar figure stepped out from behind a family walking their dog, short black hair lifting in the breeze, before darting back out of view behind a tree. It had been too far away to see for certain, but the profile was so akin to one he knew well that it brought him up short.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s wrong?”</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing,” Renjun insisted, but he lifted his head off Jeno’s shoulder and scanned the area around the tree. The figure wasn't there anymore, but the sense of unease didn't leave Renjun. “I just thought I saw Jaem—” He hesitated, sure that nothing good would come of speaking his friend’s name at this moment. “Nevermind. Ignore me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Come on, now I’m curious,” Jeno said teasingly, not realising that the light mood that Renjun had been entertaining before was all but gone. When Renjun didn't respond, he squeezed the older boy’s hand gently. “Who did you see?”</p><p> </p><p>There it was again. The figure was closer this time, tracking slowly across the grass towards the lake without urgency, but Renjun could now see that the man didn't really look that much like Jaemin, aside from a similar haircut and the slant of his nose. He shook his head, trying to rid the boy from his thoughts, but Jaemin’s face swam back up to the surface again, unbidden.</p><p> </p><p>“I thought I saw Jaemin over there by the lake for a second, but it wasn't him,” Renjun admitted, now that it was clear that he wasn't going to be able to run from the thought any longer. If he got it out into the open, he mused, maybe it would be enough to finally exorcise it again, leaving him free to enjoy the rest of his date in peace. “Don’t mind me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Jaemin on the brain?” Jeno asked, his tone carefree but with a note of keen interest that he couldn't quite hide.</p><p> </p><p>“You could say that.”</p><p> </p><p>“Do you want to talk about it?” Not even if it was the only way to stop World War Three breaking out, Renjun told himself somberly, but the way Jeno eyed him knowingly warned him that he might not have a choice. “I’m a pretty good listener.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t think you’ll want to listen to this,” Renjun told him honestly. Jeno’s arm tightened around his shoulders, as though the other boy was trying to give him strength through touch, and Renjun wondered just how miserable he must look right then. It was enough that Jeno was worried about him, that much was evident in the kind eyes that bored into his own, so it must be bad.</p><p> </p><p>“Try me.” It wasn't a demand, but the words still forced their way into Renjun’s mind like a white-hot brand. Jeno wouldn't push, wouldn't judge him for not opening up, but his words promised a supportive ear. Renjun knew that it was probably a very, very bad idea to take him up on his offer, but maybe Jeno could help him to figure it all out. After all, he was the one who had first told Renjun about Jaemin’s feelings for him, before Jaemin had finally come clean on his own. He knew almost everything already. How bad could it possibly be if Renjun just filled in the blanks?</p><p> </p><p>“Okay.” If Jeno was surprised by Renjun’s lack of resistance, he didn't mention it, falling silent as he waited for the other boy to continue. “Do you remember what you told me that day, after school?”</p><p> </p><p>“About Jaemin having feelings for you?” Renjun nodded. “Yeah.”</p><p> </p><p>“You were right.” Jeno stilled against him, until Renjun wondered whether the younger boy was even breathing, but he still didn't say anything. Jeno was taking his vow to listen seriously, Renjun realised, and he didn’t think he could be more grateful. Right now, he needed someone willing to listen and not judge more than just about anything. “He confessed. He told me everything after dinner that night, and I—I didn't know what to say. I ran away like a coward, because I was scared. I didn't want to ruin our friendship.” He didn't add the unspoken <em> again </em>, but it lurked just beneath the surface, adding to the overwhelming guilt that Renjun now carried with him like the plague.</p><p> </p><p>“How do you feel about what he said?” Jeno asked. Renjun would have expected there to be some bitterness to the question, considering where they were and what they were currently doing, but the overriding tone was one of genuine concern. Jeno must have the patience of a saint, Renjun mused, as he wondered how he was going to be able to give the other boy an answer—Jeno and Jaemin both, Renjun amended, for enduring his idiotic, oblivious ass for so long.</p><p> </p><p>“I honestly don’t know.” He could have lied and said he felt nothing. It wasn't really fair on Jeno to burden him with this truth, but then a lie wasn't fair to any of them. “I know that’s awful to say, especially while we’re out on our date, but I really don’t know. I’ll understand if you want to—”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t you dare put words in my mouth,” Jeno said quickly, cutting off what would have inevitably turned into an apology. “I’m not going anywhere. I just want to understand. I want to help you to understand.”</p><p> </p><p>“Jeno-yah,” Renjun sighed heavily, “I don’t deserve someone like you.”</p><p> </p><p>Jeno smiled softly at that, and Renjun couldn't resist the urge to mirror his expression. When Jeno saw his lips move, he lifted his free hand to run his thumb over Renjun’s cheek, touch so feather-light that Renjun almost didn't feel it. “That right there is why you’re wrong.” Renjun’s smile faded, and Jeno gently lifted one corner of his mouth with his index finger, as though he could somehow will the smile back into place. “You deserve to smile, Renjun-ah, and I’m just glad I get to help you do that sometimes.”</p><p> </p><p>For another long moment, neither of them spoke. Renjun didn't think he could, and Jeno seemed content just to watch his face. Then Jeno sighed and sat up a little straighter in his seat. “We’re still no closer to getting to the bottom of this,” he said matter of factly, and shifted so that he could look Renjun in the eye fully, letting his arm slide off the older boy’s shoulder. Renjun missed the warmth as soon as it left him, but he knew that Jeno was right.</p><p> </p><p>“What do I do?”</p><p> </p><p>“You love him.” It wasn't a question, but Renjun nodded anyway. “Are you in love with him?”</p><p> </p><p>“I—” Again, the answer sprang to mind immediately, but was wholly unhelpful. “I don’t know. Maybe. It’s hard to tell.” Renjun’s heart clenched painfully at the way Jeno seemed to take that in stride effortlessly, like he’d been expecting nothing less. It made him wonder just how many other people could see straight through him like this. First Hyuck and now Jeno. Would he always be the last to know his own feelings, if he ever figured them out at all?</p><p> </p><p>“There’s a fine line between love and being in love,” Jeno said thoughtfully. “If you’ve known someone for a long time, like when you’re friends first like you are with Jaemin, it’s probably hard to tell, but my mom always says it comes down to intent.” He paused, scanning Renjun’s face carefully. “My parents have been married a long time, so I’d like to think she’s onto something.”</p><p> </p><p>“Intent?” Renjun asked, shifting his weight so that his knees pressed in towards Jeno’s, the two of them shutting the outside world out as they talked. For some reason, this felt incredibly important to him, like it might somehow unlock the mysteries inside his own mind. Even if it didn't, he figured it couldn't hurt. He was utterly clueless at this point, so he couldn't get any <em> less </em> insight from listening to Jeno’s mom’s theory. “What does that mean?”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, if you love someone, like a friend or a member of your family, you want to be around them all the time, right? They make you happy, and you’d do just about anything to keep it that way.” Jeno smiled down at him, gaze gentle but probing. “I guess it would be kind of like you and Hyuck. He makes you happy, just to be around him.” Renjun nodded, and Jeno continued.</p><p> </p><p>“Mom said being in love is the opposite, in many ways. Instead of it being about them making you happy, it’s all about you making them happy. Putting them first, even if it means throwing away your pride to do so. You can’t imagine a world without them in it, but, if it’s the best thing for them, you’ll let them go. It’s sacrificial, selfless and damn painful if not reciprocated.” He hesitated. “O—or so I’m told.”</p><p> </p><p>“Woah,” Renjun murmured. Jeno blinked and looked away, seeming to have surprised himself with his words. He ducked his head, staring down at the bench below him, and Renjun couldn't help the swell of affection that snuck its way into his heart as he observed the suddenly shy boy. “That’s really deep for a high schooler.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I know. My sister says I’m basically a ninety-year-old soul, trapped inside a teenager’s body.” Jeno chuckled, a little of the serious mood lifting with the sound, but he still didn't look up. “Does any of that help though?”</p><p> </p><p>Did it? Renjun twisted his fingers in his lap, thinking back to his painful conversation with his best friend in the hallway of Jaemin’s family home. <em> I want you to be happy </em>, Jaemin had said that night. He’d even said that, if Renjun was happy with Jeno, he’d support them. Renjun had known, at the time, just how huge an admission that had been from the other boy, but Jeno’s words put it into a new perspective. Jaemin had been putting him first, sacrificing his own happiness, in a way that Renjun had been entirely too blind to see before now.</p><p> </p><p>“He really does feel that way about me,” Renjun whispered, and Jeno patted his knee gently. He didn't speak, allowing Renjun to work through his thoughts uninterrupted, but it was his subtle way of letting the older boy know that he was there if he needed him. If Renjun wasn't half in love with the boy already, that would have pushed him over the edge, he thought absently.</p><p> </p><p>Or was he? It was affection, sure, but was he <em> in love </em>with Jeno? He could see himself getting to that point eventually—seeing Jeno glow with happiness as they talked was something he could imagine getting addicted to—but that wasn't enough. They’d only known each other a few months—really, properly known each other—but Renjun knew that he’d still be able to walk away at this point. It would hurt, but he’d be able to do it, before he was in too deep. But Jaemin…</p><p> </p><p>Jaemin had always been there, even before they’d grown exponentially closer thanks to Donghyuck’s intervention. They’d sat side by side in homeroom throughout their freshman year, and they’d shared almost every class together in all three years of middle school. He’d had other friends over the years that had come and gone, and he’d developed crushes—the most notable of which currently sat inches away from him on the park bench—but, in every single memory, Jaemin was there. His smile, his contagious enthusiasm for life, always managing to penetrate through even the worst of Renjun’s bad moods and rough days.</p><p> </p><p>Could he imagine a world without Jaemin in it, without his unflagging energy and positivity? Renjun knew he hadn't always been the best friend to the younger boy, choosing to cover up his more affectionate urges with sarcasm and snark, but he loved Jaemin with every corner of his heart. He knew that without question. He’d move heaven and earth to make Jaemin happy, no matter the cost, just like he knew Jaemin would do for him… oh.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh.” Renjun’s head snapped up, seeking out Jeno’s face. The younger boy was already watching him purposefully, and Renjun got the feeling that he was, once again, the very last person to figure it out. “I think—” The words loomed monstrously large in his mind, making themselves heard like a screaming siren, but it felt like saying them out loud would irreversibly change everything. “Oh God! I’m in love with him.”</p><p> </p><p>Now that he knew, Renjun wondered how he could ever have been so stupid. It was so obvious, with the benefit of hindsight, but he’d been so blind before. Blind to his own feelings, shrouded beneath the impenetrable guise of friendship. He’d caused Jaemin so much pain and heartache, he realised, and he didn't know how he would ever make it right. Not to mention, he was currently on a date with someone else, someone he could also see himself developing real feelings for.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s okay, Renjun-ah.” Jeno’s fingers pressed lightly against his shoulder, and Renjun realised with a start that he was shaking. His breaths were coming in short, irregular bursts, shallow and panicky, and he felt light-headed. Closing his eyes, he forced himself to focus on his breathing, ignoring the twin images of Jeno and Jaemin that cycled relentlessly through his mind just behind his eyelids. He needed to regain control, to calm himself down, before he freaked out his companion or fainted—or both.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s fine.” Jeno sounded so patient, so understanding, that Renjun looked up at him again in disbelief. The younger boy’s face was still a picture of consummate control, carefully neutral, but there was a pinch in the corners of his expressive eyes that looked like pain. Not pain for himself, though, he realised, but for Renjun. Jeno clearly didn't like seeing him in distress; that thought alone sobered Renjun enough that he finally stopped shaking.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not though,” Renjun insisted, shaking his head as he repeatedly clenched and unclenched his fingers into the fabric of his coat. “We’re on a date, and I just told you I’m in love with my best friend.” He let out a soft, mirthless bleat of laughter, a noise that sounded pitiful even to his own ears, and cringed in on himself. “Wow, I must sound like the worst cliche from those dramas of yours. You put so much thought into this date, and I’m sitting here ruining it.”</p><p> </p><p>“I said it was fine,” Jeno said dismissively. “I told you before that I wanted to help you to figure things out, and you did. That’s good enough for me.” For a heartbeat, Renjun thought back to Jeno’s wise words from earlier and wondered just how deep the younger boy’s feelings for him really ran, but then Jeno was moving on and the moment was lost. “Besides, you agreed to give me a shot with this date. If it's the only one, I’m glad it was a good one.”</p><p> </p><p>“It was,” Renjun echoed, not trusting himself to say much more. He could see the next step in their conversation like it was being signposted, but that didn't make it any less unwelcome. Jeno would call an end to their date, and they would go back to being friends—or nothing at all. It wasn't even as if Renjun could blame him. It was…</p><p> </p><p>“Do you think you like me enough to do this again at some point?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorr—wait, what?” Renjun’s brows shot up as he caught Jeno’s eye, the question so at odds with his inner monologue that he wasn't entirely sure he wasn't imagining their conversation. “I don’t understand.”</p><p> </p><p>“I still like you, Renjun-ah,” Jeno told him patiently, like he was explaining something to a confused toddler. He might as well be, Renjun thought, for as much sense it was making. “I know you have a lot to think about now, and I know I’m not him, but I like you a lot.” He lifted his hand to run his fingers over the top of his ear, something Renjun knew Jeno did when he was nervous. “If you want me to back off and leave you alone, I will, but I need you to tell me that’s what you want.”</p><p> </p><p>“No!” Renjun hadn't even realised he was thinking the word until it was tumbling out of his mouth in a rush. Jeno looked surprised but pleased, and Renjun knew it was the truth. He might still have a lot to process with regards to Jaemin, and the mess of feelings he had where the younger boy was concerned was still very raw, but he didn't want to lose this fledgeling thing he had with Jeno either. It was selfish, Renjun knew that, but he was only human. It was a lot to take in. “I don’t know what I want, but I like you too. I—” Was it enough?</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t need to decide anything today, Renjun-ah. I’m not going anywhere, not unless you tell me to. I just want you to be happy.” As Renjun stared down the boy beside him, he allowed himself to dwell on the inescapable similarities between his words and the ones that Jaemin had unknowingly carved into his heart days ago. <em> I want you to be happy. </em></p><p> </p><p>“Jaeminie said the same thing,” he said quietly.</p><p> </p><p>“Then Jaemin is a smart man.” Jeno offered him yet another sweet smile, this one lifting his cheeks and softening his whole face. “I knew I liked him for a reason. If I was going to go up against someone for your heart, it wouldn’t be someone as—well, as unfairly attractive as Na Jaemin, but I’ll do my best to measure up.”</p><p> </p><p>“Go up against?” Jeno couldn’t possibly be suggesting what Renjun thought he was, could he?</p><p> </p><p>“Date both of us.” Renjun’s mouth fell open. “Or date him. Date me. Date neither; it’s all in your hands. Now that I know you like me, at least a little bit, I’m not selfless enough to just give up, but I meant what I said. If you like both of us, date both of us until you make your choice.”</p><p> </p><p>“You can’t possibly mean that,” Renjun started to say, but Jeno silenced him with a pointed look. Maybe he did mean it, Renjun mused. It was a crazy idea, for sure, but it certainly had an appeal. It would undoubtedly cause problems down the road, when he was forced to choose one of them—if Jaemin even agreed to go along with it, which Renjun very much doubted—but it would let him hold on to Jeno just a little bit longer. Long enough to fall in love, his subconscious whispered, but he ignored it. Right now, even if it was just until they left the park and went their separate ways, Renjun could allow himself to indulge the delusion that it really was his choice to make.</p><p> </p><p>“What if I can’t choose?” It was the only question that kept coming back to him, holding him back from diving headlong into the crazy fantasy with Jeno. “What if—I don’t want to hurt anyone.”</p><p> </p><p>“Let me worry about that,” Jeno said. “I made my choice the day I signed my name under yours. I’ll take any part of your heart that you’re willing to offer, even if I have to share it with Jaemin.” He smiled again, and Renjun felt something real and scarily tangible slot into place in his chest at the total lack of hesitation or doubt in Jeno’s eyes. “It’s no big hardship. Jaemin is a good person, and he’s almost as beautiful as you are. I can see why you love him.”</p><p> </p><p>Following that spectacular decree, the pair seemed to simultaneously arrive at an unspoken agreement that the date was officially over. They left the park, Renjun’s hand safely ensconced in Jeno’s, and walked slowly back to their cars. Jeno kept up a running commentary as they walked, but he didn't seem to mind that Renjun wasn't engaging. Indeed, he must have known that the older boy had a lot on his mind, because he left Renjun next to his car after a single, fleeting hug, walking away without another word.</p><p> </p><p>Renjun didn't remember climbing into the car, or starting the engine, but, fifteen minutes later, he was pulling into Donghyuck’s driveway, with very little idea how he’d got there. The small rational part of him knew that it was unwise to drive whilst that distracted, but the overwhelming majority just needed to speak to his best friend, to let Hyuck know what had just happened. He didn't think he was overreacting, the baffling words that Jeno had said to him still fresh in his mind, but Donghyuck would know what to do. He would help Renjun figure out how to tell Jaemin—oh fuck, he needed to tell Jaemin—and how to navigate the new unknown that stretched out in front of him.</p><p> </p><p>“Injunie?” Donghyuck answered the door, a look of panic dawning on his face as he realised who stood on his doorstep. He glanced back over his shoulder quickly, before turning his attention back onto the older boy. “Are you okay? I’m not—”</p><p> </p><p>“I need to talk to you,” Renjun told him, the words coming out in a rush. He had to get it all out soon, or he thought he might explode. “Jeno—he…” Jaemin’s head popped out from behind Donghyuck, emerging from the staircase that led upstairs. When he saw Renjun standing there, he waved good-naturedly and started to walk over to them, a bowl of what looked like popcorn in his arms.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, Renjunie.” Renjun’s gaze flicked over his face, every inch so intimately familiar and, at the same time, like he was seeing it for the very first time. Jaemin had a relaxed smile on his lips, and his eyes were bright and animated. He’d loved that face for years, Renjun registered with resigned certainty—he was<em> in love </em> with that face. “How was your date? Where did Jeno take you?”</p><p> </p><p>He hadn't expected Jaemin to be here. He didn't blame Donghyuck—he hadn’t known Renjun would turn up like this—but it was too much. He wasn't ready for this conversation. Not yet, and maybe not ever. He wouldn’t be able to look Jaemin in the eye and lie to him, but he couldn't tell him the truth. Not here; not like this. “I can’t do this,” he muttered, pushing past Donghyuck into the house.</p><p> </p><p>If he’d been thinking straight, he might have turned around and gone back to his car. Instead, he sidestepped Jaemin’s attempt at a hug and made a break for the downstairs bathroom, locking the door and sinking to the ground on the other side. The irony wasn't lost on him, as he heard Donghyuck calling to him a few seconds later, asking him if he was okay, but he didn't answer. A minute later, Jaemin’s caller ID popped up on his phone, but he shoved the device back into his pocket and ignored the way it vibrated against his thigh.</p><p> </p><p>“Renjun-ah?” That was Jaemin’s voice. He ignored it.</p><p> </p><p>“Injunie, talk to us.” Donghyuck. He pressed his lips tightly together, hoping that they wouldn't even be able to hear him breathe on the other side of the door.</p><p> </p><p>“Is he okay?” Jaemin. He sounded concerned, and Renjun knew he shouldn't be worrying them, but the guilt was creeping up his spine again, trying to suffocate him. Seeing Jaemin’s face, after briefly entertaining the idea of asking the boy to—what? To share him? To accept Renjun’s love, when he knew he had feelings for Jeno too. It was a slap to the face. Renjun was selfish to even imagine that Jaemin would be interested in him like that, even if Jeno had seemed willing to try.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m calling Dongyoung-hyung. He’ll know what to do.” Donghyuck sounded so lost, voice so small that it broke Renjun’s heart. The edges of his vision went grey, and Donghyuck’s voice drifted away from him as he spoke. He didn't know exactly what a panic attack felt like, having never had a full-blown one before, but Renjun imagined it might feel something like this. On the fringes of his consciousness, he could hear Donghyuck on the phone with someone—Dongyoung, he supposed—but he sounded like he was at the other end of a very long tunnel.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m right here, Renjun-ah.” Jaemin again. There was a dull thud and the door shifted against his back, despite it being locked. He thought he could almost feel Jaemin’s warmth through the thick wood and, when the boy spoke again, he was closer, like his lips were just inches from Renjun’s ear. “I’m here.”</p><p> </p><p>Minutes—or maybe it was hours—later, there was a commotion outside, the sound of a door opening and closing, and then a new voice perforated the silence. “Renjun?” He guessed this was Dongyoung. He’d heard a lot about two different versions of him from Hyuck, and he knew that Donghyuck had trusted him with his secret. Donghyuck trusted him, and he was an adult. It was stupid, but Renjun thought he could use an adult right about now.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes?” His voice was weak as he spoke but Dongyoung must have heard him, because there was a quiet knock at the door above Renjun’s head.</p><p> </p><p>“Can you let me in?” He had a nice voice, Renjun thought absently. Calming and inherently trustworthy, just like Hyuck had said. When Renjun didn't immediately respond, Dongyoung continued. “You don’t have to let me in if you don’t want to, but I can help.” Renjun wasn't sure why, but he thought he believed him.</p><p> </p><p>“Just you.”</p><p> </p><p>There was a pregnant pause, and then Dongyoung spoke. “Of course.”</p><p> </p><p>“What do you mean, of course?” Jaemin asked incredulously, as Renjun pushed up off the floor and reluctantly flicked open the lock that was holding out the world. “We’re his friends.” The door swung open, like someone was already pulling at it from the other side, and he met Jaemin’s gaze. “Why are you crying?”</p><p> </p><p>Was he? Renjun swiped at his cheeks, startling when his fingers came away damp. Jaemin was flanked by Donghyuck and an older man that he didn't immediately recognise, although he knew he’d met Dongyoung once before. He barely had a chance to glance over at the others anyway, before Jaemin was right up in his face. “What happened?” Renjun opened his mouth to say something, anything, but Jaemin wasn't listening. “What did Jeno do? Did he—did he hurt you?”</p><p> </p><p>“Jaemin!” Donghyuck reached for the younger boy’s arm, just as Dongyoung’s phone started to ring. He sent Renjun an apologetic look and stepped to the side, leaving Renjun to watch as Jaemin tried to escape Donghyuck’s grip. </p><p> </p><p>“Get off,” Jaemin snapped, glaring at his friend. His eyes ghosted over Renjun’s face as he moved, softening into something that made Renjun’s heart pick up in double time for just a moment, but then the harsh lines of his jaw clenched and he wrenched his arm out from beneath Donghyuck’s fingers. “I’m going to kill Jeno for making him cry.”</p><p> </p><p>“NaNa.” Jaemin ignored both of them as he strode away down the hallway, heading for the front door. Dongyoung glanced up from his phone call, and Renjun saw Donghyuck say something to the older man out of the corner of his eye, but his attention was centred on Jaemin as he disappeared from view, letting the door slam shut behind him.</p><p> </p><p>“Someone needs to go after him,” Renjun told Donghyuck urgently. The younger boy looked torn between staying with him and following Jaemin, hesitating for what felt like a lifetime, but this was no time for them to debate loyalty. “Please, Hyuck. I’ll explain everything later. Just stop him. He didn’t even take his shoes with him.”</p><p> </p><p>“Fine.” Donghyuck turned to Dongyoung impatiently, tapping him on the shoulder. He waited until the older man made eye contact, despite still being busy talking to someone else on the other end of the line, and pointed at Renjun. “Look after him, hyung. I’ll be back.” He set off after Jaemin, scooping up two random pairs of shoes as he passed the pile by the door, and Renjun watched as the door slammed shut for a second time. Once he was finally alone with Dongyoung, who was now loudly sighing into the phone and rolling his eyes, he allowed himself to sink to the floor again, now on the opposite side of the bathroom door.</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry about that,” Dongyoung said apologetically, tucking his phone back into his pocket. He glanced down the hallway in the direction that Donghyuck had gone, then frowned. “Can I join you?” Renjun shrugged and Dongyoung started to sit down, before appearing to change his mind. “Let’s go somewhere a little more private first, in case they come back.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay.” Renjun let Dongyoung lead him upstairs, following the man mutely as he wandered into and out of several rooms, before finally settling on Jaehyun’s empty bedroom. Renjun briefly wondered if Donghyuck’s brother would mind them being in here, as he folded himself onto the bed next to Dongyoung, tucking his legs up under him, but figured that Jaehyun would probably forgive them.</p><p> </p><p>“It seems,” Dongyoung began, when Renjun didn't, “that I’ve wandered into a bit of a complicated situation here. Would that be fair?” That summed it up pretty well, Renjun thought. It was definitely complicated, and he certainly hadn’t helped things by barging in on Donghyuck and Jaemin unannounced while he was supposed to be on a date with Jeno. He didn't say any of that. Instead, he just nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyuck didn't tell me much, but I take it that this has something to do with your date this afternoon,” Dongyoung said slowly, as though testing out the limits of Renjun’s willingness to share. The younger boy nodded again, and Dongyoung flashed him a small, encouraging smile. “Great. That’s a great start, Renjun-ah.” He thought for a moment, pressing a finger to his lips.”Can you tell me what’s going through your head right now? The most pressing concern you have.”</p><p> </p><p>“I—” His most pressing concern? How could he condense all of the thoughts swirling inside his head down to just one thing? He didn't think it was possible, but decided to just go with his gut. It was currently telling him Dongyoung was trustworthy—and that he could help—so Renjun hoped it would guide him in the right direction with this too. “I’m in love with him.”</p><p> </p><p>That wasn't what he’d expected to say, but it felt raw and honest. Dongyoung’s eyes widened just a fraction, but otherwise, he didn't react. “You’re in love with him,” he parroted. “Okay. We can work with that. Can you tell me who you’re talking about?” He must have seen the panicked look that crystallised in Renjun’s eyes as he spoke, because he didn't wait for an answer. Instead, he just extended a hand, offering it out for Renjun to take. Renjun accepted, almost without thinking, and Dongyoung’s fingers were rock-steady and cool to the touch under his. “It’s okay. I’m not here to judge.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know.”</p><p> </p><p>Dongyoung lifted his free hand, ruffling Renjun’s hair like he’d known the boy for his whole life. Renjun's eyelids fluttered closed and he eased into the older man’s touch, letting out a small sigh. “Thank you for trusting me.” Renjun opened his eyes, meeting Dongyoung’s wise gaze unflinchingly. “Do you think we could start from the beginning? I think it might help.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Like I said at the start, I really don't know how to feel about this one. NoRenMin will get their happy ending, even if have to drag them across the finish line by their ankles, but goddamn it's hard work. Regardless, I'd still love to hear your thoughts if you have them.</p><p>(Side note: Some of the narrative threads for our Hades Throuple come from a polyamorous/polyandrous woman I know. It's obviously not exactly the same as her story, but the basics of their romantic manoeuvring are from what she's told me about her experiences with her throuple. I'm trying to make it as authentic as I can, but please tell me if any of it feels forced.)</p><p>Next time, we'll be back with Hyuck (finally). I'm not sure exactly what for yet, but I can guarantee it'll be 1000% less angsty than this mess.</p><p>As always, thank you for the continued support and I hope you have a wonderful day! &lt;3</p><p> </p><p>  <strong>SEVEN</strong></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0038"><h2>38. Chapter 38</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>First off, I just wanted to say thank you so much for all of the support on the last chapter. I really wasn't feeling it, but you guys were so amazing and it really made my day! I spent a couple of free days this week plotting out the rest of the fic fully, and now I'm extra psyched to share it all with you.</p><p>Second, this chapter is a little bit of housekeeping from a plot perspective, closing out what I've been referring to in my head as the 'secrets and subterfuge' arc of this story. Things are going to pick up in pace from here, at least for a while, because we've got numbers ticking down and somewhere important to be when we hit zero. I hope you're all excited, because it's been a long, long time coming! :)</p><p>Enjoy...</p><p>TW: Blood (mild). Someone gets a boo-boo, because he's a bonafide dumbass.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“NaNa.”</p><p> </p><p>As Donghyuck let the front door fall shut behind him, he hopped unsteadily on one socked foot and tried to shove the other into one of the shoes he’d picked up in his hurry to follow Jaemin. One pair was small, white and covered in large applique daisies—probably belonging to his mother—so he gave up on those almost immediately, tossing one and then a second down onto the ground at his feet. The other pair was significantly larger, black and decidedly scuffed around the heel. Donghyuck thought he remembered seeing Jaemin arriving in them earlier in the afternoon, so he abandoned his plan, figuring that Jaemin would probably need them more than he did—if he could actually find the younger boy.</p><p> </p><p>“Jaemin?”</p><p> </p><p>He worried for a moment that Jaemin had decided to walk to Jeno’s house barefoot, a harebrained plan he wouldn’t entirely put past his hot-headed friend, but then he spotted a figure sitting cross-legged on the neighbour’s lawn to his left. Jaemin’s back was to the door, like he’d been heading diagonally towards the road when he’d taken a premature break, but he’d made it less than halfway to the curb.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you okay?” Stepping carefully, Donghyuck navigated around several large, viciously sharp rocks as he made his way across the driveway towards Jaemin. Even with socks on, the gravel underfoot stabbed up between his toes and bit into the sensitive skin of his instep, so he could only imagine how uncomfortable it must have been for the other boy, who didn't have the luxury of socks.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m fine,” Jaemin told him dully, attention singularly focused on one of his feet, which he cradled in his lap. As Donghyuck crossed onto the grassed area, which, while damp, was mercifully soft underfoot, he could see that a small trickle of crimson seeped out from between Jaemin’s fingers, which were pressed firmly against the pad of his big toe. “I just impaled myself on that.”</p><p> </p><p>Jaemin tilted his head towards a small, particularly jagged stone that lay on the wet grass beside him, and Donghyuck winced in sympathy. That had to have hurt, he thought, although the tiny menace had certainly just made his life infinitely easier. He’d been worried that he’d have to chase Jaemin halfway down the street, but this reality was vastly preferable. This way, they’d be able to talk things out before Jaemin could call a cab, or flag down a bus—whatever he’d been planning on doing to reach Jeno’s house.</p><p> </p><p>“How bad is it?” Donghyuck contemplated the clean, dry pyjama pants that he wore for a long moment, reluctantly eyeing the darkened grass at his feet and scrunching his toes up inside his already sodden socks, before realising that he didn't really have a choice. Jaemin didn't look like he was planning to move anytime soon, and Donghyuck needed to buy Renjun and Dongyoung some time to talk inside. It was cold out here, and the clouds overhead promised imminent rainfall, but he and Jaemin needed to talk too. He sat down, scooting as close to his friend as he could manage.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s bleeding a lot, but I don’t think it’s that deep,” Jaemin said with a shrug. He turned to look at  Donghyuck, lifting his fingers off the wound slightly as he did so. There was a steady trickle of red, enough that Donghyuck couldn't see the full extent of the damage underneath, but it looked like it was already slowing.</p><p> </p><p>“I think you’ll live,” Donghyuck told the younger boy, flashing him a reassuring smile. Jaemin didn't return it, pressing his fingers back over his toe, but he did lean into Donghyuck and rest his head heavily on the older boy’s shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>“I did a great job of storming out, didn't I?” Jaemin said after a minute or so of silence. “I didn't even make it to the end of the street.” Donghyuck could feel icy moisture starting to permeate through the fabric of the seat of his pants, causing him to shift uncomfortably at the accompanying tingling sensation, but he tried not to jostle Jaemin too much. The boy seemed a lot calmer than he’d been expecting, considering the anger with which he’d made his exit, and that made him a little nervous.</p><p> </p><p>“You didn't even make it to the curb,” he corrected Jaemin dryly. The younger boy snorted, but didn't argue the point. With the two of them currently huddled together on elderly Mrs Kwan’s front lawn, one of them almost completely incapacitated, it would have been a bit redundant. “Are you okay?”</p><p> </p><p>“I—” Jaemin turned his head, burying his nose into the hollow of Donghyuck’s collarbone, and sighed. “I can barely even feel my toes, but I still want to find Lee Jeno and give him a piece of my mind.” He chuckled dryly, and Donghyuck felt his hot breath tickling his skin. “That’s probably not a great idea though, right?”</p><p> </p><p>“Probably not.” Donghyuck looped an arm around Jaemin’s waist, using the new angle to lift his butt up and out of the grass as much as possible. Parts of him that he didn't care to dwell on were starting to go numb, and Donghyuck knew they wouldn’t be able to stay like this for much longer, but he could endure the cold for a short time for Jaemin’s sake. “It wasn’t because of Jeno, you know?”</p><p> </p><p>“Really?” Jaemin asked the question, but he didn't seem all that surprised. “What was it then?”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know,” Donghyuck admitted, squeezing Jaemin in closer. The younger boy started to shiver and Donghyuck could feel dampness creeping up Jaemin’s shirt at his waist, beneath his fingers, but he didn't move yet. He needed to make sure that Jaemin wasn't going to explode again, if they went back inside. “Renjun seemed pretty adamant about it though. He said he’d explain things later, but all he cared about was getting me to go after you. That doesn’t sound like someone who needs avenging, now does it?”</p><p> </p><p>“I guess not.” Jaemin’s body succumbed to a particularly violent shiver, one that Donghyuck felt all the way to his toes—which, ironically, he could barely feel anymore—and he decided that enough was enough. Not releasing his hold on Jaemin’s waist, he used his free hand to push up off the freezing ground and pulled the younger boy up with him. Jaemin let go of his foot, hovering it hesitantly above the grass as he seemed to be debating what to do next.</p><p> </p><p>“Put your arm around my waist,” Donghyuck told him, ducking his neck to make it easier for Jaemin to manoeuvre himself into place. Realising he still had Jaemin’s shoes with him, piled up and largely forgotten on the grass behind them, he helped Jaemin hop towards them and did his best to lift the taller boy into the nearest one. It was the wrong shoe, and the fabric of the heel squashed as Jaemin’s weight came down at the wrong time, but it would make it easier for him to navigate the driveway. Half-squatting to snag the other one, Donghyuck held it loosely at his side as they moved.</p><p> </p><p>“I really didn't think this through,” Jaemin muttered, watching as Donghyuck scanned the ground for stray gravel daggers between each step. Donghyuck’s wet socks made the return journey significantly less pleasant—for both of them—but, eventually, they made it back to the smooth, brick step that led up to the door to Donghyuck’s house. “Are they still in there?”</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck knew what he meant, so he pushed open the door slowly, peering around it carefully. When he saw only an empty hallway, nothing but an askew bathroom door betraying Renjun’s previous sanctuary, Donghyuck pushed open the door more forcefully, guiding an unsteady Jaemin onto the welcome mat. Navigating the lip of the door frame was a bit of a challenge with only three functioning legs between them, but they managed it, Donghyuck shutting the door behind them against the chilly evening air.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay,” Donghyuck said thoughtfully, eyeing the stairs and then the boy still shivering violently as he clung to his side. “You and I both need to warm up, and to change clothes. Forget shoes; you weren’t even wearing a coat, you dumbass.” Jaemin started to protest, a feat that was made more difficult by the way his teeth chattered as he moved his lips, but Donghyuck wasn't taking no for an answer. “Trust me, Jaemin-ah. You’ll feel a lot better once you’re warm.”</p><p> </p><p>Detouring into the kitchen to retrieve a disposable cleaning cloth and some band-aids, Donghyuck made Jaemin sit at the kitchen table as he gently wrapped the cloth around Jaemin’s foot. It had almost completely stopped bleeding now, with how cold the younger boy’s foot was, but Donghyuck wasn't taking any chances. His mom was—well, she wasn't really his mom, but he was pretty sure she wouldn’t be thrilled about them getting blood on the cream carpet on the stairs regardless.</p><p> </p><p>Tying off the cloth as neatly as he could, Donghyuck looked up into Jaemin’s eyes. “Do you think you can walk on your own?” Jaemin nodded, huffing indignantly at the implied weakness, and Donghyuck quirked an eyebrow. <em> You just tried to run to Jeno’s house barefoot and stabbed yourself on a rock in the driveway </em>, he thought pointedly, and Jaemin flushed as though he could read his mind.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll do my best, eomma.” There was that patented Jaemin charm.</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck smirked. “Shut up!”</p><p> </p><p>Jaemin did indeed manage to walk unaided, so Donghyuck climbed the stairs first. He wasn't sure where Renjun and Dongyoung had disappeared off to, but he didn't think they would want to be disturbed just yet. Donghyuck wasn’t sure quite what had upset Renjun so much, although he had a few choice guesses in that department, but he had faith that Dongyoung had everything under control.</p><p> </p><p>When they reached the landing, Donghyuck noted that Jaehyun’s door was shut. It hadn't been closed when they’d come out of his room earlier, barrelling down the stairs to answer the door to what he’d thought would be his mom coming home from her shopping trip with her friends, so he assumed that it was currently in use. Turning his back to it, Donghyuck pointed at the open bathroom door. “Go shower. Just leave the wet clothes on the floor by the door, and I’ll find you something of mine to wear.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hyuckie, you’re too short for us to share clothes.” Jaemin laughed, which earned him a half-hearted scowl from his friend.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey! Where I come from, I’m way taller than you,” Donghyuck snapped. Jaemin eyed him dubiously, clearly not buying it, and the older boy huffed out a breath. “Okay, sadly that’s not true. You dwarf me in both realities, apparently, but that’s besides the point. I’ll find something that’ll fit. We’re not that different.”</p><p> </p><p>They weren’t. Donghyuck couldn't be sure if they were exactly the same physically as they had been at this age back home, but Jaemin couldn't be more than a half-inch taller yet. His legs were longer, something Donghyuck had envied as a trainee until he’d caught up and evened out just before their debut, but he was sure he could find something that would work.</p><p> </p><p>“Just go.” He gave Jaemin a light shove and the other boy relented, hobbling into the bathroom. Realising he still had the band-aids in his hand, Donghyuck followed him inside, dropping the box onto the counter by the sink. “Are you okay to clean and bandage your foot yourself?” he asked. “There are creams and meds under the sink if you need them, but…”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll be fine,” Jaemin insisted, herding his friend towards the door. As soon as Donghyuck was clear, he pushed it almost all the way closed and poked his head around the very edge. He offered Donghyuck a small smile, before closing the door completely. “Go check on Renjunie.”</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck hurried into his room and rummaged through his closet, retrieving an oversized pair of sweats and a hoodie that he was pretty sure would fit Jaemin just fine. He left them outside the bathroom door, when he heard the telltale sounds of the shower already running inside, and made his way across the hall to Jaehyun’s room. He hesitated for a few moments, hearing the sound of muffled voices beyond it, but then knocked once.</p><p> </p><p>“Come in.” Dongyoung’s voice beckoned him forward, so he pushed open the door and slipped inside. Seeing the pair sitting cross-legged beside one another on the bed—a sight that felt eerily similar to the way he and Jaemin had just sat together on the lawn outside—he pushed the door closed behind him with a soft click and stepped further into the room.</p><p> </p><p>“Hi.” Renjun looked up as Donghyuck spoke, eyes betraying his relief at seeing the younger boy as opposed to Jaemin, and he released one of Dongyoung’s hands to reach for his friend. Donghyuck went willingly, taking the proffered hand as he stopped just shy of the bed. He eyed the patch of free space next to Renjun and started to sit down, remembering just in time that the back of his pyjamas was soaked through. Jaehyun would kill him if he ruined his mattress, he thought—or his Jaehyun would have. He wasn't willing to take the risk. “My pants are wet—don’t ask—so I’ll just stand. Are you okay?”</p><p> </p><p>His gaze locked with Renjun’s for a moment, but then Renjun glanced over at Dongyoung before he answered. The older man smiled reassuringly at him, and Renjun nodded. “I’m okay. I talked everything through with Dongyoung-hyung, and he’s really helped me a lot.”</p><p> </p><p>“You did most of it yourself,” Dongyoung insisted, patting Renjun’s knee affectionately. Then he pursed his lips. “Going back to what we were talking about before, Renjun-ah, you know you’re going to have to tell him eventually, right?” Renjun tore his gaze from Donghyuck again, giving Dongyoung his undivided attention. “The power is all in your hands, and you know you can take your time if you need to, but he needs to know.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know.” Renjun’s voice sounded so small, so unsure that Donghyuck almost ignored his damp clothes and wrapped him up into a hug, but then Renjun squared his shoulders resolutely. “I will. I owe it to both of them.”</p><p> </p><p>“You owe them nothing,” Dongyoung said calmly, squeezing Renjun’s hand. “Remember what I said about the way this has to be, if you want it to work. You owe it to yourself. No one else.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay.” Renjun still didn't sound convinced, but he nodded. “Thanks, hyung.”</p><p> </p><p>“Any time.” Dongyoung turned to Donghyuck then, eyeing him with a look so reminiscent of Doyoung that it almost took his breath away. “Where is Jaemin? You two have a lot to talk about, but it’s probably best if you do that alone for now. I don’t want—” He hesitated, but Renjun took over immediately.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s okay, hyung. I don’t plan to keep any of this from Hyuck, but you’re right. Maybe this isn’t the best time. I still need time to figure out how I’m going to tell Jaemin.” Donghyuck watched them both carefully, trying to piece together what was going on from context clues, so he didn't miss the moment Renjun's expression turned sombre and his eyes flicked listlessly towards the floor. “And what I’m going to do about Jeno.”</p><p> </p><p>“I can wait,” Donghyuck told him, squeezing the hand he still held. “Whatever you need, and I can deflect for you if you need me to distract Jaemin.”</p><p> </p><p>“No. It’s fine.” Renjun’s lips curled upwards, even if it was little more than a grimace. “I have to tell him something, or he’ll think it’s Jeno’s fault. It’s not his fault. It’s my fault.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hey!” Dongyoung scowled down at Renjun, and Donghyuck was surprised to see a genuine smile flicker across the younger boy’s face at the indignant tone in Dongyoung’s face.</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry, hyung,” Renjun muttered, lifting his head to roll his eyes conspiratorially at Donghyuck. “It’s no one’s fault. These things just happen.” He spoke like he was parroting words directly from Dongyoung’s mouth, and he had the small inflections in cadence down perfectly. He even nailed the way Dongyoung’s voice often turned slightly nasal when he was frustrated, pitching up at the end of each sentence. Donghyuck smirked and tried to hide a laugh, which inevitably set Dongyoung off into a sighing spiral.</p><p> </p><p>“Why do I even bother,” Dongyoung lamented, waving his hands in the air as though praying to the heavens for mercy. “I swear, I try to help and this is the thanks I get.”</p><p> </p><p>“Aw. We love you really, hyung,” Donghyuck said quickly. Dongyoung and Renjun looked up at him in surprise, and he tried to backpedal. “I—I mean…” Realising that he wasn't going to be able to worm his way out of this one, he decided on honesty. After all, everyone currently inside this house knew the whole truth anyway. “Sorry. I forgot for a second that I’ve only known you a few months, hyung. Just now, you two reminded me so much of…”</p><p> </p><p>“Of home,” Renjun finished for him. “I know you miss them.” He started to stand up, moving towards Donghyuck with arms outstretched, but Dongyoung beat him to it. The man wrapped his arms around Donghyuck, pulling him in close. A split second later, Renjun’s arms looped around both of them, his diminished height placing him at the perfect height to receive a chestful of damp cotton and dirt courtesy of Donghyuck’s shirt. “Ew! What the hell, Hyuck?”</p><p> </p><p>“I should probably have warned you about that,” the younger boy admitted sheepishly, cutting short what would probably have been a heartfelt moment between the three of them as Renjun flinched away in disgust. Dongyoung reluctantly released him too, stepping back to give him a thorough once over. He didn't even try to hide his disapproval, especially when Donghyuck’s body chose that moment to betray him with a head-to-toe tremor. “I did tell you my pants were wet.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why are you completely soaked, Hyuck?” Dongyoung asked slowly, reaching out a hand to pluck at his shirt hem. Donghyuck shrugged, glancing over at the closed bedroom door before he answered.</p><p> </p><p>“Jaemin and I had a little chat outside. Unfortunately, he was sitting in wet grass at the time.” Renjun started to open his mouth irritably, presumably to scold him, but Donghyuck pressed on. “I know. I know. Jaeminie is in the shower right now, and I’ll jump in when he’s done.” He shivered again and groaned, glancing down at his groin area. “It’s really cold out there. I can barely feel my—”</p><p> </p><p>“Aaaand I think that’s my cue to leave,” Dongyoung said loudly, heading for the door. “You clearly don’t need me here anymore.” Donghyuck and Renjun both laughed at his obvious eagerness to make his escape, but Renjun reached out to grab hold of the man’s arm before he could make it too far. Dongyoung turned back to look down at him, unmuted affection eclipsing all of his other emotions as he waited patiently for the younger boy to speak.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you, hyung,” Renjun said. “I mean it.” He paused, seeming to consider his next words carefully. “Not just for today. I—I’m really glad that we have you to help us. I know neither of us can really understand what Hyuck is dealing with, but I feel so much better knowing you have his back too.”</p><p> </p><p>For a long moment, Dongyoung didn't speak, just staring down at Renjun in surprise, but then he wrapped the boy up into a warm hug of his own. “Right back at you, Renjun-ah.” Renjun stiffened at his words, but then seemed to melt into Dongyoung’s embrace. “You look after him when I can’t, okay? You have my number if either of you needs me, for anything.” Donghyuck started to turn away, sensing that this was a moment he wasn't really meant to be present for, but Renjun grabbed blindly for his hand and held him firmly in place.</p><p> </p><p>“I will.” Renjun squeezed his fingers tightly. “I promise.”</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Half an hour later—after Dongyoung left and Donghyuck finally got himself into dry clothes, following the quickest shower he could muster—the three high schoolers found themselves in the living room downstairs. Jaemin lay across the length of the sofa, head pillowed in Donghyuck’s lap at one end, while Renjun lay on his stomach on the rug nearest to the radiator.</p><p> </p><p>The television was on, tuned to a music channel that Donghyuck had been surprised to find was still on the air, but he didn't think anyone was really watching it. Jaemin’s eyes were fixed on Renjun’s back, cheek pressed into Donghyuck’s thigh to allow him an unfettered view of the back of the older boy’s head, and Renjun’s whole body was tense like he was trying hard not to look back over his shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck still didn't know what had caused the latest shift in the dynamic between his friends—although his suspicions now ran very close to the truth, following the tail end of the interaction he’d witnessed between Renjun and Dongyoung earlier—but he didn't like the way the uncomfortable silence hung in the air, like it had been woven from a thick tapestry of secrets and half-truths. Eventually, he couldn't take it any longer and sighed pointedly.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s getting late,” Donghyuck announced, looking down at Jaemin as the boy shifted so that he could stare up at him. He smiled, making sure that Jaemin knew that he wasn't upset with him over anything that happened this afternoon, but he couldn't hide the hint of weariness that tugged at the muscles in his cheeks. “We have school in the morning, your foot is still hurt, and we all need sleep.”</p><p> </p><p>“He’s right,” Renjun agreed, rolling over onto his back before he pushed up into a sitting position. He stretched, yawned and then sank back into the rug with a groan. “It’s been a long day, and I did a lot of walking this afternoon. I should go home.”</p><p> </p><p>Jaemin nodded, both of them having heard the basics of Renjun’s date during their stunted conversation against the backdrop of the television, but then he frowned in a way that made Donghyuck’s chest feel tight for a moment. “Renjunie, are we going to talk about what happened earlier?”</p><p> </p><p>Renjun went silent as the grave, lifting his head just enough to meet Jaemin’s eye as he contemplated the question for an agonisingly long time. “Do you trust me, NaNa?” he asked eventually. Jaemin flinched instinctually and Renjun’s face fell, but the younger boy’s answer was quick and uncompromising.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay.” Renjun blinked slowly, as he watched Jaemin’s face. Whatever he saw must have convinced him that the other boy was telling the truth, because he nodded. “And if I asked for you to be patient, to wait until I’m ready to tell you? Could you do that?” He sounded calm and unaffected on the surface, and his face was carefully neutral, but Donghyuck saw the way Renjun’s fingers wound into the loose fibres of the rug a little too tightly.</p><p> </p><p>“Is it hurting you?”</p><p> </p><p>It was Renjun’s turn to flinch but, if Donghyuck hadn't been watching so closely, he wasn't sure he’d be able to tell. Renjun recovered impossibly quickly and shook his head dismissively.</p><p> </p><p>“No. Not...not physically, no.”</p><p> </p><p>Jaemin seemed to consider this for a long time, cheek still resting on Donghyuck’s thigh, but then he sat up and leaned forward, elbows pressed into his knees. “Alright. I don’t like it, but I trust you. I know you wouldn’t keep things from me unless it was really important.” He flashed Renjun a soft smile then, as if that would help convince both of them of his conviction. “As long as you’re happy.”</p><p> </p><p>That, for whatever reason, seemed to draw out the most visceral reaction from Renjun yet, and the older boy physically recoiled like he’d been slapped. His eyes snapped up to meet Donghyuck’s curious gaze, and the pain the younger boy saw reflected in them was enough to cause some of the missing pieces to fall into place. It wasn't like the whole universe suddenly made sense but, right then, one thing did. Renjun was torn; pulled in two different directions. He wasn't ready to talk to Jaemin about it yet—Dongyoung had implied as much upstairs—but it clearly upset him.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s getting late.” Donghyuck stood quickly, nudging Jaemin as he moved. “Come on. I’ll give you a ride home, NaNa.” The younger boy looked away from Renjun long enough for Donghyuck to motion purposefully towards the hallway, and then the three of them were in motion, as if cycling through a preset routine. If Jaemin thought it was odd that he wasn't getting a ride from Renjun, who was heading his way, he didn't say anything about it.</p><p> </p><p>Jaemin tugged his shoes on, moving to stand by the front door as Renjun took up his place beside the shoe rack. Donghyuck followed next, none of them speaking until they were lined up on the driveway beside Renjun’s car. Renjun hugged him first, offering Donghyuck a small smile as he pulled away, then turned to pull Jaemin into a tight embrace. Jaemin seemed surprised, but he didn't hesitate to lean into it, pressing his forehead into Renjun’s shoulder and squeezing his eyes tightly shut.</p><p> </p><p>“Good night Hyuck-ah,” Renjun said, easing up on the pressure around Jaemin’s waist a little but not quite releasing him. “Goodnight, Jaemin-ah.” He paused, fingers tangling resolutely into the back of Jaemin’s borrowed hoodie for a second, and then he stepped back and pulled his keys from his pocket. “I love you both. So much.”</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck and Jaemin stayed where they were for a while once Renjun left, staring out into the dark street long after the boy’s car disappeared from view, before a gust of icy wind shocked Donghyuck back into himself. He shivered, despite being far more warmly dressed this time around, and he hurried over to his car, Jaemin hot on his heels. Climbing inside, he quickly turned all the heaters to full, feeling the air around them start to warm up far too slowly for his liking.</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s get you home,” he told Jaemin as the engine roared to life. “It’s getting late.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hyuck?” Jaemin twisted in his seat to face the older boy, as Donghyuck reversed carefully out of his driveway and pulled out into the empty street. He didn't look over at the younger boy, waiting for Jaemin to continue as he focused on the road in front of him. It was hard, especially when Jaemin didn't say anything for a long time, but he knew it had been the right move when Jaemin cleared his throat and hummed thoughtfully. “Did Renjun tell you what was wrong?”</p><p> </p><p>He sounded lost, Donghyuck thought, and more than a little sad. He suspected that it was nowhere near as simple as Renjun not wanting to tell Jaemin what was on his mind, but he also knew that Jaemin was hurt that Renjun was keeping secrets from him. Donghyuck didn't have any idea what was going on inside Renjun’s head—he only saw Renjun pulling away, when all Jaemin wanted was to hold on tighter.</p><p> </p><p>“No.” At least he could answer truthfully. “He didn’t tell me either.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh.” Jaemin seemed to be somewhat encouraged by that, and Donghyuck didn't have the heart to even think about how soon that might become a fallacy. Jaemin would be the only one left in the dark again eventually, even if it was for his own good, and Donghyuck really didn't like it. “Thanks, Hyuck.”</p><p> </p><p>“Always.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next time, we're making some serious progress towards our end goals. Hyuck's boarding a bullet train, destination <strong>'ZERO'</strong>, and I'm excited.</p><p>As always, have a wonderful day! &lt;3</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>  <strong>SIX</strong></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0039"><h2>39. Chapter 39</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This one is relatively short, and a little bit filler-y, but it's building to something important and it couldn't have really ended anywhere else. We're about ready to let our favourite side-ship-that-wasn't-meant-to-take-up-quite-so-much-time-in-this-fic fly, for real this time. I know some of you are way past ready for it, and some of you are just ready for us to move on already, so hopefully, I can satisfy both of you with these next two chapters. :)</p><p>Also, I just noticed that this fic is now in the top 20 for overall word count in the AO3 NCT tag. Not sure quite how I feel about that particular milestone, but the show must go on...</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>With everything seemingly having come to a head for his friends over a single weekend, Donghyuck found it disorienting how easily things settled back into a routine again over the next week or so. Everything was fundamentally different, because now he knew the whole truth—Renjun had made him wait until Tuesday afternoon but, once the truth started flowing, it had been impossible to stem—yet nothing had tangibly changed.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll tell him,” Renjun had insisted at least once a day for the past week and a half, whenever Donghyuck brought up the topic of his impending confession to Jaemin. “Soon! I’ll do it soon, I promise.”</p><p> </p><p>Soon had come and gone, with Renjun still firmly in denial as to the effect that his silence was having on both himself and those around him. Jaemin had watched him carefully for the first few days—as had Donghyuck himself—but, when an explanation hadn't been forthcoming, he’d given up. Donghyuck didn't think Renjun had noticed quite how hard Jaemin had taken it—the younger boy was still resolutely sticking to his vow to support Renjun without complaint or hesitation—but the sadness that now seemed to follow Jaemin around like a dark cloud was palpable to almost everyone else.</p><p> </p><p>“He still hasn’t talked to him, huh?” Jeno had asked the following Thursday afternoon, when the whole gang had met up after school in the art studio, on one of the rare occasions that all five of the friends could spend time together. And friends they were, Donghyuck told himself, whether the others liked it or not. He still hadn't gotten to know the Jeno and Yukhei of this reality well yet, but he was determined not to waste any more time. Where he’d previously started to skip the creative after school sessions, Donghyuck now went to all of them, if for no other reason than to act as a buffer for casual conversation between the others.</p><p> </p><p>“No, he hasn’t,” Donghyuck had reluctantly replied to Jeno, as the younger boy sat squashed in between him and Yukhei on their regular art bench. They’d been watching Renjun and Jaemin bickering loudly over what shade of green to use on whatever grossly misshapen object Jaemin had been trying to paint, but Donghyuck hadn't missed the hint of discontentment in Jeno’s voice as he’d spoken. “Has he spoken to you since?”</p><p> </p><p>“Not directly, no.”</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck had first thought that Renjun was just being overly cautious whenever Jaemin was around, avoiding being too affectionate with Jeno where the younger boy might see them. He knew that there was still a lot they needed to air out between the two—three—of them, and he could have understood if Renjun had wanted to cool off on the PDA before he could manage to have the conversation, but it ran deeper than that. He’d pulled away from Jeno completely, following their date the other weekend, and Jeno was none the wiser as to why.</p><p> </p><p>When Donghyuck had asked, Renjun had tried to brush it off as nothing, but the way Jeno watched him from across the room, eyes filled with the same distant longing that he so often saw in Jaemin’s eyes, told him that it wasn't that simple. It was as though the older boy had decided that, until he made his mind about what he was going to do about Jaemin, he would keep his distance from both of them.</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck wasn't about to tell his best friend this, but he really longed to just lock the three of them into an empty classroom and make them talk it out. If he thought it would help, he would do it in a heartbeat.</p><p> </p><p>“Earth-Prime to Hyuck?”</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck’s head snapped up to meet Jaemin’s eye, realising that he had spaced out in the lunch line. He’d overslept and forgotten to bring food from home today, hence the need to queue up for lukewarm pizza and disappointing pudding cups, and he’d only been half-listening as Jaemin pleaded with him to buy extra chocolate cake for them to share.</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry, NaNa,” he muttered, blinking rapidly as he quickly scanned the dessert selection and grabbed for one of the sugar-coma inducing sweets. “I’ll buy you one if you really want it.” He glanced down as he lifted the plate over towards his tray, hand freezing in mid-air when he realised that there was already an identical slice of cake sitting right next to his salad bowl. “Wait…”</p><p> </p><p>“I took the liberty of sourcing my own cake, since it didn't look like you were going to,” Jaemin told him, grinning sheepishly as if pleading for Donghyuck not to pitch a fit. “I did mention it, but you seemed a little out of it. Are you okay?”</p><p> </p><p>Placing the redundant cake plate back into the fridge unit, Donghyuck hurried to follow Jaemin across to the pay station, where a harried-looking lunch lady was waiting impatiently, an electronic scanner twitching in her hand like it physically pained her that they were holding up the line. As she processed his selection, scanning each item with a practised hand, he handed over his student ID for payment, and then turned his attention back to the boy at his side.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m fine.”</p><p> </p><p>“And I’m Kwon Jiyong.” Donghyuck’s brain stuttered for a moment, before he noticed the small, teasing smile on Jaemin’s face and forced out a chuckle. It wasn't a very good joke, but it was the most lighthearted thing he’d heard come out of Jaemin’s mouth in days, so he’d happily hype up even the most terrible of references if it would make his friend smile.</p><p> </p><p>“Very funny.” When Jaemin’s expression almost immediately sobered, eyes narrowing at him in concern, Donghyuck shrugged and added. “I really am fine though. I just got distracted for a second. There’s a lot on my mind right now.” That was, unfortunately, the inescapable truth. The last week, while relatively quiet from a member drama perspective, had seen a significant ramping up in other aspects of his life. Donghyuck had almost forgotten how stressful student life could be, especially having only experienced it from the very fringes the last time, but he was relearning it all rapidly.</p><p> </p><p>“How did your meeting with Dejun-hyung go?” Jaemin asked, picking up the tray for him and leading the way over to their usual table. It was empty today, Renjun away on a school trip to some World Heritage Site in Gongju with the rest of the International Society, so Donghyuck joined Jaemin at one end, the pair settling in opposite one another.</p><p> </p><p>“Ah.” Donghyuck was surprised that Jaemin had even remembered that meeting, since he’d only mentioned it in passing once, but then the younger boy was astoundingly observant these days. It reminded him of the way that the other Jaemin often had an almost psychic sense of timing—and how he had been especially good at identifying when Donghyuck had most needed a hug as a sleep-deprived trainee—but he wished it wasn't under such unfavourable circumstances. “It wasn't great.”</p><p> </p><p>Dejun had summoned him, alongside the dance leader, Soonyoung, and several of the teachers, to a meeting after school on Tuesday, to discuss their progress towards the winter musical. Donghyuck had been mildly surprised to be included, having been significantly less than diligently focused on production and preparation for the school event in recent weeks, but he’d since resolved to do better. It was one of the reasons he’d been so busy lately—on top of the never-ending stream of tests, essays and midterm preparation work that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere—especially after hearing what was said in the meeting.</p><p> </p><p>“Dejun-hyung is really stressed about everything,” Donghyuck told Jaemin, who had stopped picking apart his sandwich to watch him intently. Jaemin had mentioned a tense environment in the last few dance practices, but to hear it straight from the top was a different story. “Things aren't moving nearly fast enough, and the teachers are talking about pushing the whole thing back to the spring, to give us more time.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not really a winter musical though, is it, if it takes place in the spring?” Jaemin mused. Donghyuck hummed in agreement, shoving a forkful of salad into his mouth as he did so. He chewed, swallowed and then nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s what Dejun-hyung said, but they weren’t convinced.” He shrugged, pushing aside the salad bowl temporarily to retrieve his already stone-cold pizza slice. “I guess I have to kind of agree with them, based on where we’re at with everything, but I can understand his frustration. I—” Donghyuck hesitated, then decided that Jaemin would probably understand. “I didn't really expect to be here this long, if I’m honest. If the show gets pushed back, it’s going to feel like everything is just…”</p><p> </p><p>“Stagnating,” Jaemin offered. Donghyuck nodded. That was exactly how it would feel—how it was already starting to feel. He was happy that things were happening for his friends, albeit slowly; Dongyoung had even been on a date with Taeyong last weekend, although he hadn’t talked about how it had gone yet, but it didn't erase the feeling that he was stuck waiting for a return home that might never happen. “I feel you,” Jaemin continued. “I know that Soonyoung-hyung and the other senior dancers have been feeling stressed lately too, because we don’t have enough time to practice all the parts, on top of the other showcases and stuff going on in the department.”</p><p> </p><p>“He mentioned that,” Donghyuck agreed, recalling the way that the dance leader had vocally taken Dejun’s side in the heated debate that had broken out between the two seniors and the majority of the performing arts staff. Donghyuck had stayed quiet, for the most part, but he got the sense that the two boys had started feeding off each other’s heightened emotions in a way that wasn’t entirely helpful. They had presented a united front, arguing their case in a way that suggested effortless synergy, but the teachers had been a tough sell. They were way behind with things, no matter how they tried to spin it. “What’s with those two, by the way?”</p><p> </p><p>“Who?”</p><p> </p><p>“Dejun-hyung and Soonyoung-hyung.” Donghyuck hadn't missed the way that they had leaned into one another for support in the meeting, when their plans had been under scrutiny. He’d finally figured out where he knew the dancer from, and he was pretty sure he and Xiaojun had never met in his reality, but he wasn't completely blind. He could read the signs.</p><p> </p><p>“They’ve been best friends since forever,” Jaemin said slowly, frowning. “They’re super close, I guess, but I always kind of assumed that there was something going on between him and Kunhang-hyung.”</p><p> </p><p>“Which one?”</p><p> </p><p>That question seemed to stump Jaemin for a moment, until he finally shrugged noncommittally. “I’m not sure. The three of them come as a sort of package deal—unless Yang Yang tags along or whatever. I guess I figured they had some kind of love triangle thing going on.” Jaemin grimaced. “That must be complicated, but they seem to manage.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hmm.” Donghyuck wasn't nearly prepared or willing enough to dive into that mess of a hypothetical right now—especially since it didn't feel quite so hypothetical anymore—but he was saved by Jaemin’s uncanny propensity for changing the subject at the drop of a hat.</p><p> </p><p>“Have you heard from Renjunie since this morning?” They’d both received a group text message at some ungodly hour of the morning, informing them that he was getting on a bus and that, if he had to suffer through sunrise, so did they. Donghyuck hadn't seen it until his alarm went off, but he knew that Jaemin had been awoken by the chime of his phone at a time that was nearly too early to be funny. He’d sulked his way through homeroom, until Donghyuck had pointed out that Renjun had sent them both the message. He’d clearly wanted Donghyuck to suffer too, even if it hadn't quite worked out that way.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t think so,” he answered Jaemin, fishing his phone out of his pocket to see if he had a new message from their friend. The screen flashed up a notification immediately, blinking impatiently like Renjun was waiting inside the device for it to be read and acknowledged, so he paraphrased it for Jaemin. “He said he’s already bored of Yukhei’s jokes, and he’s wondering if there’s anywhere in the—quote—crusty old ruins where he can bury a body.”</p><p> </p><p>Jaemin chucked, flipping his phone around in his long fingers. His brows shot up as he realised, almost at the same moment that Donghyuck did, that he’d received the same message—a group chat would do that for them, Donghyuck realised. “Should I reply, or should you?” Donghyuck shrugged, already flicking over to a message from his mom that had just come through, and Jaemin started typing. After agreeing to pick up extra groceries on his way home, in preparation for an impending visit from Jaehyun the following weekend, Donghyuck found himself in his private chat with Renjun for what seemed like the thousandth time that week.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> You know he won’t wait forever. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>That had been a low blow, Donghyuck thought, bringing up Jeno. However, if it had helped even a little bit, it would have been worth it.</p><p> </p><p>It hadn't.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I know. I just...I need time. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>He knew that he needed to be gentle, to not scare his friend into running away from his problems completely, but the way it strained at their friendship group had made Donghyuck a little feistier than usual.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> It’s been nearly two weeks, Injunie. What are you waiting for? A miracle? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>It had taken Renjun nearly two hours to respond to that one, and Donghyuck had spent the entire time worrying he’d finally gone too far.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Maybe. I feel like I’m right on the edge, ready to jump, but I just can’t! Sometimes, Hyuck, I think I might need you to push me… </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“He says he loves us, and that we should bring a shovel.” Jaemin’s voice, once again, pulled Donghyuck from his thoughts and he smirked absently, looking up at the younger boy as his phone buzzed in his hands to announce the same message arriving.</p><p> </p><p>Jaemin flashed him a genuine smile, reacting instinctively to the affirmation in Renjun’s message, and Donghyuck’s heart leapt in his chest. Renjun was being about as subtle as a hole in the head, with Jaemin the only one still not connecting the dots, but it was a sign that he wasn't half as dumb as he had been acting lately. Renjun had started slipping little things into conversations and messages, telling them both that he loved them far more frequently than he might have normally done before.</p><p> </p><p>It wasn't completely out of character—although it would be more than enough to cause the Renjun back home to cringe into oblivion—and Renjun had been careful to only do it when both he and Jaemin were together, but Donghyuck hadn't missed the way Renjun’s eyes would linger on Jaemin whenever it happened. He was telling him without telling him, that much was obvious. It would have been endearing, Donghyuck thought, if the whole thing wasn't so damn frustrating.</p><p> </p><p>“Tell him I’ll pick up an extra sharp one at the hardware store this afternoon,” he told Jaemin, tucking his own phone away. Jaemin’s fingers flew across the screen and Donghyuck went back to his food, checking out from the world around him for a few moments as he hurried to choke down the awful cafeteria food before their lunch hour was over. He was just handing over the large piece of cake to Jaemin, poised to tell him that there was no need to bother sharing, when a body dropped down into the seat next to him with a loud thud.</p><p> </p><p>“Hi.” Turning, Donghyuck came face to face with a chipper looking Lee Jeno, who eyed the cake in his hands with thinly-veiled interest. “Is that the triple chocolate stack cake? That’s my favourite thing they sell here, but they always run out before my practice is over.” A quick once over told Donghyuck that Jeno had just come from said practice, a school-issued tracksuit with mud splattered up and down the sleeves and legs being the biggest giveaway, and he wondered whether the older boy had found time to eat yet. He eyed Jaemin, who was looking furtively from the cake to Jeno and back, and realised it probably wouldn't matter.</p><p> </p><p>“You are not touching my cake,” Jaemin snapped, tugging the plate possessively from Donghyuck’s hands. Retrieving a clean knife from the tray that sat between them, he started to carefully slice the food item in half, as though he had a ruler and a protractor in his brain. “Don’t even think about it, pretty boy. This is mine—and Hyuckie’s.” That second part was an afterthought, but Donghyuck appreciated the effort. Jaemin glanced up, pausing his cake surgery just long enough to eyeball Jeno in a way that Donghyuck thought was meant to be menacing, but translated more as cross-eyed. “Just because you’re dating one of my best friends, that doesn’t give you chocolate privileges.”</p><p> </p><p>“Fair enough,” Jeno said, raising both hands in defeat. He watched Jaemin for a few moments, seeming to be oddly enthralled by the concentration on the younger boy’s face as he separated the two cake halves and started to eat one of them. Then he turned to Donghyuck, leaning in to make sure that Jaemin couldn't overhear him as he spoke. “Still nothing?”</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck knew he was referring to the long-overdue conversation between Renjun and Jaemin, so he shook his head and shot Jeno an apologetic look. “Nope.”</p><p> </p><p>Jeno sighed, but looked resigned. “I keep hoping…but then nothing.” He fixed Donghyuck with a look so full of caged frustration that the younger boy felt it deep down in his gut. “When, Hyuck-ah?”</p><p> </p><p>That was a really good question, Donghyuck thought. He didn't have a good answer, but the words of Renjun’s last text message swam to the forefront of his mind as he stared at Jeno.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Sometimes, I think I might need you to push me… </em>
</p><p> </p><p>If only he could. If only it was that simple, and he could force them into the conversation that he knew was inevitable. The three of them were stuck in a holding pattern, repeating their same motions over and over as they all grew more and more frustrated by the way that nothing was changing. He could see it, Jeno could see it...even Jaemin could sense it, despite being the only one still in the dark. There had to be something he could do.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know,” he told Jeno apologetically, making sure that the sympathy was evident on his face. Jeno flinched, and Donghyuck knew that the other boy didn't like seeing the trace of pity that went hand in hand with that particular emotion, but he needed to know that Donghyuck understood. He wasn't the only one affected by all of this. Donghyuck sighed, eyes flicking over to Jaemin for a moment, watching the younger boy dissecting his cake in complete ignorance. “If I had my way though, it would be sooner rather than later.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I know.” Jeno flashed him an appreciative smile, then turned his attention back to an oblivious Jaemin. “Hey, Jaemin-ah?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p> </p><p>“What if I had something I was willing to trade you for the other half of that cake?” Jaemin’s eyes snapped up, suddenly calculating and alert as he examined Jeno’s face for signs of a trick. He must have found something he liked, because he dropped his fork onto the plate and folded his arms against the tabletop.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m listening.”</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck watched as Jeno dug around in a bag at his feet, one that he hadn't even noticed when the older boy had sat down, and pulled out a familiar pink package. The brown writing across it was unmistakable, mostly because the snack had its own sacred, dedicated shelf in the Dreamie dorm back home, and he knew Jeno had just played his ace. He wasn't sure how—or even if—Jeno had known, but he’d just produced Jaemin’s favourite candy, one that had followed him across two different universes, and had subsequently won a contest that no one had even been competing in.</p><p> </p><p>“How did you get a hold of those?” Jaemin’s jaw dropped open and his fingers twitched against the rim of the plate in front of him, like he was ready to push it across the table already. “They’re only sold in the United States. I have to get them imported, if I want them.” He managed to tear his gaze from the bag long enough to make eye contact with Jeno once more, and the older boy grinned.</p><p> </p><p>“I happen to know a guy,” Jeno said evasively, placing the packet on the table and pushing it slowly towards Jaemin. “Are you interested? Do we have a deal?”</p><p> </p><p>“Marry me…” Jeno choked out a surprised laugh, and Jaemin flushed crimson. “I mean, y—yes. Here!” He pushed the remaining cake towards Jeno dismissively and tugged the snacks closer. “If it wasn't totally weird, I’d kiss you right now. There’s not much I wouldn’t do for these.” Donghyuck laughed at the way Jaemin’s whole face lit up as he hugged the bag of candy to his chest possessively, as though Jeno might take them back. Jeno followed suit, tracing the top of his right ear absently with his fingers as he watched Jaemin’s excitement, and the younger boy flushed again. “How can I make this up to you?”</p><p> </p><p>Jeno paused, thinking far harder about this than Donghyuck thought he should have for a throw-away question like that, but then he eyed Jaemin hopefully. “Friends?” he asked, holding out a hand across the table. “I know you don’t have to like me for anything more than my snack supplies, but I think I’d make a pretty good friend, if you'll let me.”</p><p> </p><p>“I—” Donghyuck could practically see the cogs turning inside Jaemin’s head as he considered this, turning over the pros and cons in his mind. He knew that part of Jaemin resented Jeno, because Renjun had chosen him—or so he thought, because Renjun was still a coward—but Jaemin wasn't rude or vindictive by nature. He loved hard and he felt everything deeply, but he knew as well as Donghyuck did that Jeno was a good person, and one that both of his friends cared for—if for entirely different reasons. “Okay.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.” Jaemin nodded, accepting Jeno’s proffered hand with a small smile. Neither of them moved, not bothering to complete the traditional shaking part of the handshake, but it still felt significant. When they pulled away, Donghyuck could have sworn the feeling in the whole room was somehow lighter.</p><p> </p><p>It was a shame that he might ruin that very soon, he thought somberly, as he watched Jeno start eating the cake Jaemin had given him. Jeno didn't even bother swapping out the fork, eagerly inhaling large mouthfuls of sugar, carb and cocoa goodness as Jaemin tore into the packet in his hands and retrieved a candy. Donghyuck knew that this was as close to harmonious as this pair had ever been here, and it hurt his heart to think of it all crashing and burning, but, while they had been talking, he’d made his decision.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I think I might need you to push me… </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Renjun didn't know it yet, but he’d made a good point. If he wasn't brave enough to take the leap, Donghyuck would have to make it for him. It was Wednesday today, and that meant tomorrow would be Thursday. He happened to know that Thursday meant all three of his friends would be in the same place very soon, and the art studio was as good a place as any to stage an intervention. It wasn't guaranteed to work, of course, but Donghyuck didn't have any better ideas. He just hoped Renjun wouldn't actually murder him, when he realised what he’d done.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I need you to push me… </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Renjun would forgive him eventually.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>As ever, if you have any thoughts, suggestions or predictions, I'd love to hear them. I haven't yet decided exactly which combination of POVs I'm using for this next one, so I'm open to requests.</p><p>As always, have a wonderful day! &lt;3</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>  <strong>FIVE</strong></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0040"><h2>40. Chapter 40</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi. So it's been a little while. Unfortunately, that's what happens when you work a 90 hour work week and then immediately get sick—the curl up in bed and wait for the world to end kind of sick (not COVID related; I already had that). Sorry about that, but there's not really much I could have done about it. I'll try to get back into a good routine again now, so bear with me.</p><p>Anyway, this was going to be the NoRenMin intervention, but I was thinking about it over the past week and I wanted to swap a couple of chapters around. That will happen within the next couple of chapters, before the countdown ends for sure, but this one makes more sense coming first. And it's super important too, so I hope that's okay. :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>To say that his first attempt at a romantic intervention had been a complete disaster would be an overstatement, but not by much, Donghyuck thought resignedly, as he watched Jaemin chase Jeno down the hallway outside the art studio with a wet paintbrush. He was pretty sure that said brush belonged in one of the supply bins by the sink in the classroom, but it had become a brandished weapon that was getting dangerously close to rupturing an eardrum as Jaemin shoved the business end into the other boy’s ear canal.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck followed a few paces behind them, walking alongside Renjun and Yukhei, each step taking them further from the enclosed space where he had planned to ambush Renjun and, well...locking him into a room with Jeno and Jaemin to sort out his mess of a love life was a pretty blunt way to put it but, if the shoe fit. It had been a foolproof plan.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>However, just before the end of the hour, Jaemin and Jeno had gotten into a heated debate about ice cream flavours as they washed up and packed away. It had taken just a few short seconds of distraction—with Donghyuck inexplicably getting roped into going to bat for Team Vanilla on Jeno’s behalf—but those few seconds had been enough for two of his three targets to escape, with stolen art supplies and a grudge match to settle out in the hallway.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They’re actually idiots, both of them,” Renjun muttered lowly, as Yukhei got bored of acting his age and sped up to rescue Jeno from the headlock Jaemin had somehow managed to trap him in. He was smiling, shaking his head affectionately as he spoke, but Renjun sounded tired. Donghyuck was glad that the pair seemed to have taken being friends to heart, with a gusto that had surprised just about everyone, but he knew that it had to be a constant reminder of the tough conversations that Renjun was still putting off. “Why do I like them again?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because,” Donghyuck offered helpfully. He was planning to say more, but then Jaemin let out an exaggerated yelp and their attention was pulled inescapably back to the three boys currently play-fighting like they were five years old. He chuckled softly, and Renjun just sighed in defeat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You make an excellent point, Hyuck.” Donghyuck didn't look over to check, but he was pretty sure that Renjun would be rolling his eyes as he spoke. “Still idiots though.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No arguments there.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Thirty-five minutes later—after briefly joining in on the action to defend Jaemin’s honour with a hastily sourced ball-point pen sword, finally persuading the younger boy to return the paintbrush to its rightful home, and then almost running over Yukhei in the parking lot—Donghyuck pulled into his driveway next to his father’s car.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d almost forgotten what it was like to have such carefree fun, he mused, as he cut the engine and collected his blazer from where Jaemin had been using it as a pillow in the rear passenger seat. Back home, with his members, he’d always been the life and soul of whatever room he was in, even if he hadn't always felt up to it. That was the role that had been assigned to him long before debut, and it was a role that he usually performed better than just about anyone, but he knew he’d lost sight of himself somewhat in the few months leading up to his abrupt life-swap moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everything had felt just that little bit more like a chore, he’d thought more than once, as he’d staggered zombie-like from one schedule to another, until he was having to fake smiles in private as well as in public. He’d been exhausted, even before the deliberate late nights gaming, the acting out for attention and the confrontation with Johnny that had ultimately led him here. He hadn't realised it at the time, but he’d been burning out for quite a while before everything fell apart. He could see that now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wanted to go home, he knew that, but Donghyuck could also admit that this time away had been good for him. He’d been able to go back to basics, and to remember all over again why he loved the people he considered his chosen family. The mellow side of him over the last few months had been a welcome change too, he realised, and had felt like something of an emotional reset. So much so that, when he’d allowed himself to dive into the playful banter between his friends that afternoon, it had felt like taking the training wheels off on his bike for a second time. It was a strange feeling, but one he was more than ready for. For a moment, as he made his way up the front steps, Donghyuck even wondered absently whether this was what personal growth felt like.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Pushing open the door to the house, Donghyuck shed his shoes quickly and kicked them to the side. He could hear the television on in the living room, and the low sound of a male voice laughing along with whatever was playing on screen. His dad, he reminded himself, as he made his way into the kitchen to look for his mom, the one person he normally shared the house with. The patriarch was so rarely home that it almost felt like he didn't exist most of the time, unless there was something important going on that he needed to be around for. Donghyuck wasn't sure if that had been the case for the other Hyuck too, but it made him appreciate his own father all the more.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The kitchen was empty, with all four of the chairs pushed neatly under the small table nestled against the wall, so Donghyuck figured his mom was elsewhere in the house. Her car was here, and he knew her shift at work was long over, so she had to be around. “Mom?” he called, pouring himself a glass of water from the sink to take up to his room. “Where are you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Upstairs,” came the reply, so faint that he almost didn't catch it. Taking the stairs two at a time, backpack almost slipping off his shoulder as he used both hands to stop the water in his glass spilling out onto the carpet, Donghyuck heard her before he saw her. She was humming a soft, unfamiliar melody as she bustled across the top of the staircase, carrying a stack of what looked like bedsheets in her arms. She disappeared into Jaehyun’s room for a few seconds, before reemerging without the bundle.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing?” Donghyuck asked curiously, watching as the woman collected a fresh towel from the cupboard outside his brother’s room and hooked it over her arm like a waitress in a fancy restaurant might a cloth napkin. She continued to move quickly, closing the cupboard door and heading in the direction of the bathroom, but she flashed him a kind smile as she moved.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your brother just called,” she said happily, like it was the best thing in the world. Donghyuck thought it actually might be, considering the way she doted upon her eldest son, but it wasn't an uncommon enough occurrence to have her rushing around like a headless chicken over a simple phone call. Jaehyun called both of them a minimum of once a week, and messaged at least as much.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know he was coming down tomorrow.” It wasn't a question, but Donghyuck nodded anyway. Jaehyun had mentioned as much in one of his text messages earlier in the week, and they had extra groceries in for the visit—since Jaehyun apparently ate like he was dying in every reality. They were expecting him for dinner on Friday, and he’d promised to stay this time until Sunday morning. There wasn't a party that weekend, or not one he was telling Donghyuck about, so the younger boy had been looking forward to spending some time with his brother while he was sober.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Apparently, there’s some big event happening on Saturday night,” his mom continued, a small frown pinching her brows together. Donghyuck wondered momentarily if she was somehow more aware of Jaehyun’s extra-curricular activities than the man knew, but then her expression softened and she patted Donghyuck’s cheek affectionately. “It’s all very last minute, so he didn’t know about it until today. He needs to go back by lunch on Saturday, so he’s staying over tonight instead.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is that why dad is suddenly home?” Donghyuck asked, the sudden appearance of the older man making a whole lot more sense. He’d known that they would all be home on Saturday—to spend quality time together as a family, as his mom had put it—but he thought he remembered her mentioning a business trip this week. “I thought he was away.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know how he is with Jaehyunie,” she told Donghyuck, beckoning him to follow her into Jaehyun’s room. She made quick work of the bed, stripping the sheets that were already there and making it up neatly with the fresh bedding she’d brought in. Donghyuck suspected it would be a mess again within hours of Jaehyun’s arrival, but she seemed happy doing it, so he perched in the office chair by the desk to drink his water and watch her. “How are things between you two lately?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck’s head shot up at the abrupt change in tone in the woman’s voice. Where she had been passive and soft-spoken before, there was now a bite of acute interest and something else in her tone that he couldn't quite identify. As they made eye contact, she made a show of looking away and tucking the corners of the sheets carefully under the mattress, but there had been something intensely intelligent and probing in her normally warm gaze while it lingered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Pretty good, I think.” Donghyuck blinked slowly, trying to decipher exactly what he’d just seen, before deciding to settle on straight forward. He might not have known this woman all his life but, from the past few months, he’d learnt enough to know that they were close. It was different from how she was with Jaehyun—and almost certainly different from how she was with the boy he had once been—but he could just ask if he wanted to know something. “Why do you ask?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No reas—” She paused, straightening up, and then turned to look at him again. The unsettling, penetrating harshness was gone from her gaze, leaving behind something that almost looked like sorrow, and she gave him a small smile. “Come on,” she told him softly. “There’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She left the room, clearly expecting Donghyuck to follow, so he got up and walked behind her out into the hall and down the stairs in silence. Once in the kitchen, she pointed to the kitchen table and he took a seat on the side closest to the fridge. A quick glance out into the hallway, possibly to check that the television was still on in the living room, and then she joined him, closing the kitchen door firmly behind her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is everything okay?” Donghyuck asked, as his mother settled into a chair on the opposite side of the small table. She leant forward, resting on her elbows heavily, and gave him her full attention. The sadness still hadn't faded from her eyes, and Donghyuck started to get worried. He might not be related to her, not really, but he’d grown to care about her as much as one could care about a stranger who believed themselves to be your mom. She took a deep, tired breath, eyes tracing the soft planes of his face slowly, and Donghyuck braced himself for the worst. “What—?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I need to ask you something, Donghyuck-ah,” she began, and her voice shook. She curled her fingers into fists and blinked once, not taking her eyes from his face. “And I need you to be completely honest with me. Can you do that?” Donghyuck could only nod, words escaping him for the time being, and she returned it with a sharp, affirmative motion of her own. “Okay, good. I really don’t know how to say this...it almost seems too crazy to contemplate, yet here we are. When I look at you, I can still see h—” She broke off, shaking her head vehemently, then cleared her throat. “What I’m trying to say is—you’re not my son, are you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck’s blood ran cold, and he froze in place. Their gazes were still locked, and he couldn't seem to tear himself away, even as the room around them seemed to shrink in around him. The breath he’d been holding caught in his windpipe, heart pounding in his chest and blood pumping so loudly in his ears that it sounded like a rushing wind. He knew that he needed to respond, to deny everything and to tell her how wrong she was—Donghyuck could see it in her eyes, that she needed that from him too—but he couldn't lie to her face, any more than he could lie to his own mother. She would see right through him, if she hadn't already…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh god!” The high feminine voice wavered as the woman let out a single, pained breath, and then her lips clamped shut against whatever noise would have escaped next. She didn't cry, didn't run from him, or do any of the things he might have expected. Instead, she squeezed her eyes shut for the longest time, like not being able to see him would somehow make the impossibility of his situation not be the reality.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.” It wasn't good enough, Donghyuck knew that. Not nearly enough for the precious, kind-hearted woman who loved him—the other him—like he knew his own mother loved him, but it was all Donghyuck could offer. He hadn't asked for this, and he’d tried to keep it from her, but he should have known. He’d changed completely overnight. How could she not have known? “I—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is he ever coming back to me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Of all the millions of questions Donghyuck could have imagined her asking, this one threw him so much that he could only gape at her, mouth open in disbelief. She was back to staring at him now, so intently that he wanted to disappear through the floor at his feet, but he knew that wasn't fair. Her eyes were steely, and seemed to look straight through him, but they weren't angry. There was no hatred, and no disgust—instead, she just looked contemplative and more than a little sad.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I—I don’t know.” It was the truth. He owed her so much more, but that was the only answer he could offer. Donghyuck wished he knew, wished that he could say with certainty that he had a timeline for his return home and that, when he did, her son would be waiting for her in his place. He wished things were that simple, but the truth was that he had no idea about any of it, and that scared him. “I wish I did. I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be.” Before Donghyuck could react, or say anything further, she was out of her seat and rounding the table towards him. He might have flinched away, if he’d had the opportunity—not because he thought she might hurt him, but because he didn't deserve her enduring patience and kindness—but then she was pulling him into her arms, and his forehead was pillowed against her shoulder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” he whispered, the sound muffled by her shirt, but the fingers that threaded their way into his hair and started to gently massage his scalp seemed to say that he was already forgiven.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know,” she murmured, lips close enough to his ear that she didn't need to raise her voice above a whisper. “I may not understand, but I know none of this is your fault. I just miss him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How—” A faint, dull thud from out in the hallway cut off whatever Donghyuck had been about to say, and they broke apart in a hurry. Both of their heads snapped up and over to the door, an unnatural silence falling over the small room as they listened for signs of movement beyond it. When nothing else happened, Donghyuck got up and walked across to the door, pulling it open and carefully peering out into the empty hallway outside. There was nothing but a coat rack and a pile of shoes, just like there had been when he’d arrived home earlier, and the television was still on loud enough for him to make out the fake laugh track on the show that was playing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What is it?” His—well, he guessed he shouldn't refer to her as his mom anymore, even if that had been the easiest option up until now. The woman raised an eyebrow quizzically, as he closed the door and headed back towards the table and the embrace that had been interrupted at such a pivotal moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nothing.” He frowned, but pushed the phantom hallway noise out of his mind for the time being. He could worry about creaky floorboards or his dad moving around loudly in the living room later. Sinking back into his seat, he gestured to the one to his immediate left. “It was nothing, but I guess it’s about time that you and I had a serious talk.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can trust me. You know that, right?” Donghyuck supposed he didn't really have much of a choice about that, really, but it didn't make his answer any different. She might have started out as a stranger, but she had slowly become something more. Not a mother, but someone who had cared for him and been there for him, back when he’d had no one.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I do.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad.” She smiled at him, wider this time, and accepted the offered seat beside him. There was still abundant sorrow in her gaze, but there was also genuine affection—for him, Donghyuck realised with a start. For the real him, the one trapped inside this body, even if he wasn't her Donghyuck. “I don’t quite know where to start.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck chucked at that, and shrugged. “I have a bit of practice with this now. You’re not the first person to have figured it out.” He thought for a moment, then tapped his fingers lightly against the tabletop. “Why don’t I start by giving you the highlights, and you stop me when you need to?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That sounds like an excellent idea, honey.” Donghyuck nodded in agreement, and was about to launch into his fourth—and, hopefully, most coherent—retelling of his misadventures between worlds, when she stood up and hurried over to the kitchen counter behind them. He watched as she opened a drawer, shifting aside a box of matches and a few recipe books, before returning with a few folded sheets of notebook paper. Placing them onto the table between them, she sat down and looked up at him expectantly. “Does it have anything to do with this?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What is that?” Donghyuck started to ask, but then it was being unfolded and a familiar list of names was staring up at him like they had been waiting for this moment. It was his handwriting, he realised upon second glance, and not Renjun’s. This copy had been Jaemin’s, the one that Donghyuck had written out that day when Jaemin had come over unannounced. He’d told Donghyuck at the time that he couldn’t be trusted, so he’d left it behind. The older boy had put it on his bedside table for safekeeping, meaning to hide it away somewhere, and then…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How long have you known?” He’d completely forgotten about those torn scraps of paper, and he hadn't even realised they’d been gone. Even now, in his head, Renjun had the list and there wasn't another. It had been so easy to let it slip his mind, and for this other copy to simply cease to exist. Except that it hadn't, had it? It had been here the whole time, in the hands of someone who should have never been burdened by it. “I wrote that months ago.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I suspected before this, because of what happened with your broth— I mean, with Jaehyun.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s still my brother!” The words came out a little too harshly, and the woman flinched a little at the sound, but Donghyuck had to make sure she knew. Even if they weren’t blood-related where he was from, he and Jaehyun were brothers in every other sense of the word, just like everyone else on that list. “He’s my brother in every single corner of the universe. He has to be. I wouldn’t be me without him; without them.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I—” For a few seconds, she seemed at a loss for words. The silence stretched on, until it felt like it might never end, but then she nodded and took one of his hands in hers. “I think I’m ready for the full story now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So now he knows as well,” Donghyuck said, a while later, as he finished detailing Dongyoung’s brief interlude in his narrative. He had streamlined the story significantly, deliberately skipping the parts he thought she wouldn't approve of—like the college party—and the parts he thought might make her even more sad—like some of the details relating to her beloved eldest son, who would be arriving anytime soon. He knew that she was curious about how Jaehyun fit into it all, especially with the way she’d reacted to Donghyuck’s admission that he didn't know why her sons had drifted apart in the first place, so her next question came as no surprise.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What about Jaehyunie?” Her lips pressed together in a firm line, even as her grip on his hand never eased, and Donghyuck wished he had a better answer for her. “Does he know?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No. I know I need to tell him, and I want to tell him, but…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But what?” Another squeeze of her fingers against his, and Donghyuck’s head dropped onto the woman’s shoulder again. Even after all of this, she was still here, and the warmth of her shirt against his cheek gave him vague hope that maybe he could find a way to tell the most important person left the whole truth, no matter how much it would hurt him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m afraid that he’ll hate me,” he admitted. “I’m afraid that he won’t ever forgive me and that—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>On the other side of the house, a door slammed loudly and Donghyuck jumped out of his seat for the second time that afternoon. Quickly followed by the woman he’d gradually come to think of as family, he hurried over to the kitchen door and pulled it open. This time, it was unmistakable. There was activity outside that could not be written off as background noise.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m home!” Jaehyun’s voice echoed towards them down the narrow passageway, and Donghyuck watched as the older man shucked his shoes and dropped a small overnight bag onto the ground at his socked feet. “Hey, Hyuckie. Where’s mom?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right here, baby.” Their mom pressed her fingers into the small of Donghyuck’s back, gently urging him out of the kitchen, and then stepped around him to be able to see her eldest son clearly. “You’re late home,” she said with a pout. “You said you would be here by seven.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right.” An unreadable expression flashed across Jaehyun’s face, his eyes flicking almost imperceptibly quickly over to Donghyuck’s face, before his usual bright smile locked back in place like it had never left. He shrugged, moving to meet his mother halfway down the hallway and allowing her to pull him into a tight embrace. “I, uh—I got caught in some bad traffic on the highway.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck thought that sounded like a blatant lie, but decided not to dwell on it as Jaehyun extracted himself from the diminutive woman at his side and opened his arms to his younger brother. Stepping in, he allowed himself to breathe in the scent of Jaehyun’s t-shirt, the man curling in around him like he was trying to block out the light from the bulbs overhead. After the conversation he’d just had with their mom, he was grateful that Jaehyun didn't yet know the truth. He didn't want to lose this, the way his brother hugged him like it was the first time all over again, even though he knew it was inevitable. There was no way that Jaehyun would forgive him after that, not completely. Things would change between them once he knew.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love you both,” Donghyuck heard the woman behind him say, the overwhelming truth of her words wrapping around the two of them like a blanket. He wasn't her son, they both knew that now, but she still loved him. She’d told him as much already, several times as he told her his story, and he’d believed it then too. She didn't love him like she loved her Donghyuck—she couldn’t, and he didn't want her to—but she accepted him as he was. She understood.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Love you, eomma,” Jaehyun said, not loosening his grip on Donghyuck’s uniform shirt. Instead, he seemed to press the boy in even closer, before pressing a feather-light kiss into the top of his hair. “Love you too, little brother.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I—” He wanted to say it back. It was on the tip of his tongue, even with the secrets he was hiding from Jaehyun, but he hesitated. He wasn't sure if he deserved that right, to be able to tell the older man that he loved him. He was lying to him, Donghyuck told himself somberly. He loved this man, his brother in all but blood, and yet he was lying through his teeth. “I—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” Jaehyun chuckled, and the sound was a little too thin and breathy to be totally genuine. “Enough mushy stuff. I’m starving.” Their mom laughed at that and then excused herself to tell their dad that Jaehyun was home, leaving the two brothers alone in the hallway together. As the door to the living room clicked shut, Jaehyun turned his attention back to Donghyuck immediately, like a moth drawn to a flame. He was so close, all of a sudden too close, but his fingers on Donghyuck’s sleeve made it impossible to move away. “Hyuck-ah.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyung.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I—” Now it was Jaehyun’s turn to be rendered speechless, eyes scanning Donghyuck’s face for something for a long moment, but then he dropped the younger boy’s arm and stepped back. He grinned, and stuffed his newly free hand into his pocket, pulling out his phone. “I have a message for you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“For me?” Donghyuck couldn't imagine why anyone would text his brother’s phone to get a message to him. Everyone who needed it already had his number, and they could talk to him directly. Still, he was instantly intrigued.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” Jaehyun swiped at the screen, looking for something. “Well, I guess it was a message for both of us. I don’t fully understand it, so I’m hoping you do.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh. Okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun smirked again, swiping up to scroll through whatever was on the screen of the device. “So Yuta-hyung invited us both to his dance showcase. I know you guys talked about it at the party that night at Epsilon Eta Phi, when I was…” His gaze flicked warily over to the closed living room door, and Donghyuck couldn't help but smirk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When you were otherwise occupied,” he offered, and Jaehyun hummed in agreement.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. Anyway, there’s one coming up on Saturday night and hyung said he promised you that you could be there.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He did.” Donghyuck thought back to that night, then mentally combed through the sporadic updates he’d received from the older man via call or text since. “I thought he was going to sit this one out. He didn't seem to think he was ready.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Someone on the team must have persuaded him, I guess. He seems pretty excited about it.” Jaehyun smiled down at the screen of his phone, eyes darting across it as he presumably read Yuta’s message over again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ten,” Donghyuck surmised. Jaehyun gave him a strange look, like he was equal parts surprised and confused, but then he shook it off and continued.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Whoever it was, Yuta-hyung has invited everyone, and I do mean everyone. Woo’s bringing his boyfriend, Taeil-hyung is skipping a faculty meeting to make it, and Dongyoung-hyung—well, Do makes absolutely no sense.” Jaehyun turned his phone and held it out towards Donghyuck, so that the younger boy could read the messages on screen. They were both from Yuta, and the grammar left something to be desired but, eventually, Donghyuck managed to translate the lines into functional Korean.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Tell Hyuck he has to be there to watch me win. He made me promise, and I’m always a man of my word. Besides, little brother is my good luck charm.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That had been sent at around midday, and then there had been a gap of nearly an hour between it and the latest message, which was far more cryptic.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Doie said to get Hyuck to bring his friends too, the ones he told him about. He said he’d burn my favourite jacket, and flush my whole craft beer collection down the toilet if I didn't type his message out exactly, so tell Hyuck he said to ‘bring the friends who are on his list’. Whatever the fuck that’s supposed to mean.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> know what that means?” Jaehyun asked, staring down at Donghyuck with thinly-veiled interest. His soulful brown eyes seemed to search deep inside him, but Donghyuck must have looked about as confused as he felt. Obviously, he understood the implication behind Dongyoung’s request, but Donghyuck couldn't for the life of him figure out why it was suddenly so important to him that the others were there for Yuta’s showcase too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, hyung. I have no idea.” If he had to put a label on it, Donghyuck would have said that Jaehyun looked overwhelmingly disappointed in that moment, more than would be normal for someone asking about a confusing text message, but then it was replaced by another purposeful, easy smile and the moment passed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah, never mind,” the older man said, waving a dismissive hand between them. He clicked his phone off and tucked it away. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out eventually. Right now though, I’m really hungry. I wonder what mom cooked for dinner.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyung, you’re always hungry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun shrugged, just as the door to the living room swung open and two figures stepped out into the hallway. “Guilty as charged.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>If you're still with me on the <em>long ass</em> ride, thank you! You make my day, every single one of you.</p><p>Oh, and I finally tidied up my <a href="https://twitter.com/galaxy_neozone">twitter</a> account, so feel free to hmu over there. I have no friends, I often forget the account exists for months at a time and I'm about as aesthetic as a potato, but you can leave me your @ in the comments if you want and I'll happily follow you. :)</p><p>As always, have a wonderful day! &lt;3</p><p> </p><p>  <strong>FOUR</strong></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0041"><h2>41. Chapter 41</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This one really should have been with you yesterday, but it was being difficult again. Entirely my fault this time—I waged a long and torturous war with the pluperfect tense in the first half, and I'm not entirely sure who won, but I made it through. Anyway, this one is very exposition-heavy throughout, right up until the very end, and then there's a tiny cliffhanger in there that was entirely unavoidable. Sorry, but also not sorry. It had to happen.</p><p>Enjoy! :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>By the start of final period on Friday afternoon, as he slumped over his desk in class and rested his chin on his forearms, Donghyuck was ready to admit defeat. He’d done his best, a strong start with Renjun and Jaemin in homeroom first thing buoying his spirits, but the universe had decided that it was simply not meant to be. There was just no feasible way to get every single—extant—person on his list in one place on Saturday night, despite his very best efforts.</p><p> </p><p>It had been a great idea, in theory, he thought to himself, as he brushed off Jaemin’s curious looks and pulled out the thick course textbook from his bag. Finding a page he hoped was somewhere close to the correct one, he settled back into his seat, crossed his ankles and fixed his attention on an empty spot on the ceiling above their heads. He was far too distracted by all the thoughts running through his head to focus on Korean history right then, so he ran through the events of the previous night once more instead, as the teacher began to take roll.</p><p> </p><p>After Jaehyun’s rather dramatic entrance, they’d all had dinner. His mom had been surprisingly subtle in her perusal of them both, all things considered, but Donghyuck hadn’t missed the way that she’d deliberately seated him right next to Jaehyun at the table, or the way her eyes darted distractedly between the pair of them as they made casual small talk over their side dishes.</p><p> </p><p>He also hadn't missed the way that Jaehyun had seemed just a little bit off throughout the entire meal, distracted in a way that he’d never seen before from the older man. Jaehyun had told them it was just exam fatigue and a busy schedule when it had come up organically in conversation, and that had seemed to appease their parents, but Donghyuck couldn’t help but retain a modicum of scepticism. He’d resolved to keep a closer eye on his brother over the next few weeks, even if that meant calling on his roommates for assistance.</p><p> </p><p>That—as well as the cryptic text message from earlier—had led him to call Dongyoung after dinner, excusing himself to his room under the auspices of doing his homework. He’d promised Jaehyun that they’d watch television or play board games together the following night, then he had made his escape. Dongyoung had answered on the second ring, apparently thoroughly unsurprised to hear from him so soon, and had quickly promised to help him in checking up on Jaehyun.</p><p> </p><p>“He seemed fine this morning,” Dongyoung had mused, “but he does have deadlines coming up.” He’d thought for a moment, before continuing. “I’ll keep an eye out for you, Hyuck-ah. Don’t worry.” That out of the way, the topic of conversation had then quickly shifted to the text messages, and Dongyoung had been all too willing to clarify. “Taeyong-hyung and his brother will be there,” he’d explained.</p><p> </p><p>“WinWin-hyung.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sicheng-ah,” Dongyoung had corrected playfully, and Donghyuck thought he’d felt the older man’s wry smile even through the phone. “Anyway, Taeyong is the only person on your list you haven’t yet come across here, aside from the obvious...” Donghyuck hadn’t responded to that, neither of them needing to elaborate on that front, so Dongyoung had pressed on. “I can’t help but wonder if that’s significant somehow.”</p><p> </p><p>“In what way?”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, think about all the different theories your friend Renjun came up with,” Dongyoung had said thoughtfully. “We still don’t really know what happened to bring you here, other than your fight with Johnny that night, so any one of them could be the correct one.” <em> Or it could be something else entirely </em>—those words had gone unspoken by both of them, but Donghyuck knew they had both been thinking it. The truth was, none of them had any clue why he was still here, or what it would take to get him home.</p><p> </p><p>“And you think that meeting him could be important?” he’d asked hopefully. It was wishful thinking, Donghyuck knew that, but he’d been more than willing to try anything Dongyoung suggested.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know, Hyuck-ah,” the older man had admitted, “but I think it’s possible. If that <em> is </em> the trigger, I figure it might help to have as many of us around you as possible on Saturday night. Everyone, if we can manage it.”</p><p> </p><p>“How might it help?” He hadn’t quite followed the logic.</p><p> </p><p>“I—” Dongyoung had wrestled with his tongue several times, sighing with frustration into the receiver, before he’d finally settled on something that Donghyuck could relate to. “Look, I honestly don’t know, Hyuck. This is all beyond me, beyond all of us, but it’s the simplest theory we have right now. I know you miss them—the us from your reality—and, if it turns out I’m right, you’ll be back with them soon. If not, no harm done. Surely it’s worth a shot.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll miss you too,” had been the first thing out of Donghyuck’s mouth at that, before the rest of the man’s words fully registered in his brain. “I love all of you too now. It’s not that easy.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know.” Dongyoung’s voice had hitched harshly as he’d spoken, and that pained sound still haunted Donghyuck many hours later, but the older man had eventually forced himself to continue. “I love you too, Donghyuck-ah, but this isn’t your home. Somewhere out there, I’m sure there’s another me that’s worried sick about you right now. You need to get home to him, before your Yuta garottes him in his sleep or something.”</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck had laughed despite himself. It was something he could almost imagine happening, if the pair were ever left in the absence of all of the other responsible adults in the dorm. “Taeyong-hyung would never let him kill you. Way too much paperwork.”</p><p> </p><p>“How sweet…” Seeming to have suddenly realised that they were getting off-topic, Dongyoung had course-corrected back to the topic of the showcase smoothly. “Anyway, I’m working on everyone on this end. Jungwoo already invited Yukhei, and I asked Yuta-hyung to check with Ten’s friends too, so you would just need to worry about the, uh, Dreamies?” He’d hesitated, unsure if he’d used the term correctly, but Donghyuck’s heart had swelled up from the effort alone. Dongyoung had really taken all of this to heart, and it showed.</p><p> </p><p>“Exactly,” he’d confirmed happily, warmth spreading in his chest as a smile did the same across his lips. “Well, them and the WayV maknaes anyway. I’ll have to talk to them all tomorrow, but I have a good feeling about this, hyung. If you’re right, I’ll get to—” He’d broken off then, not wanting to finish the sentence, but Dongyoung had always been far too perceptive.</p><p> </p><p>“You’ll get to see Mark again?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.” The inner corners of Donghyuck’s eyes had started to sting, an inevitable premonition of tears, so he’d squeezed them tightly closed. He’d cry when it finally happened, he’d told himself, and not before. He couldn’t let himself hope too much yet, in case this didn't work out—regardless of what his heart was telling him.</p><p> </p><p>“I want that for you, Hyuck-ah. So very much.”</p><p> </p><p>A swift kick to the leg of his chair was enough to wrench Donghyuck from his thoughts, sitting up and blinking to alertness just in time to accept the neat stack of paper handed to him by the teacher making her rounds. Flashing Jaemin a grateful smile, he took a worksheet and handed off the rest to the girl on his opposite side, before slumping back down into his chair.</p><p> </p><p>It had all started so well, he recalled, as he’d arrived at school that morning to start his mission. He’d already pre-warned Jaemin and Renjun that he needed to talk to them, so they were both waiting in homeroom when he got there. It had taken all of thirty seconds to get the pair on board, and another ten for them to agree to help him, so he’d been feeling cautiously optimistic when he cornered Chenle in the Sciences corridor between second and third period.</p><p> </p><p>Chenle had been flattered and excited to have been invited to hang out—despite his initial surprise—but had declined. He had already been invited to hang out with Jisung’s family all day Saturday, he’d said, which had disappointed Donghyuck for a split second until he’d remembered who Jisung’s family were.</p><p> </p><p>After that, he hadn't felt the need to explain to Chenle that they were probably headed to the same event, and had decided to let it be a surprise. He’d offered for them to hang out another weekend instead, which had earned him an exuberant hug from the affectionate freshman, and then he’d left. As long as he and Jisung were there, it didn't matter who brought them, after all.</p><p> </p><p>Jeno had been a slightly tougher sell, baffled as to why his friends were so dead-set on him skipping out on his family dinner night, in favour of a showcase full of people he barely knew. However, after Yukhei had confirmed his attendance and Renjun had begged him with his best puppy-dog eyes, Donghyuck had ticked another success off his mental checklist and excitedly texted Dongyoung to let him know his progress.</p><p> </p><p>With five down and just three to go, Donghyuck had practically bounced into drama at lunch. He’d initially been hesitant to ask Dejun, since he wasn't quite sure where they stood as friends yet in this reality, but his earlier victories had given him a boost of confidence. He’d performed his way through the second half of Act 2 with aplomb, earning a rare compliment from the usually stoic Mr Choi, and then had stuck around to help Dejun with the cleanup, hoping to catch him alone.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, hyung?” he’d said quickly, when the last extraneous cast member had vacated the drama studio. Dejun had paused, a stack of sheet music in his arms, and turned to him curiously.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, Hyuck?”</p><p> </p><p>“I, uh—” Donghyuck had almost backed out then and there, with Xiao Dejun’s piercing gaze boring a hole into his side profile in the silence, but then he’d remembered Dongyoung’s words from the other night. <em> Surely it’s worth a shot. </em> He’d taken a deep breath and had forced the words out. “I know you’re always so busy, but I was wondering if you were free on Saturday night.” Dejun’s eyebrows had shot up in surprise at that, so Donghyuck had hurried to clarify. “My friends and I are going to this event near the university, and I was wondering if you wanted to join us. You could bring your friends too; it could be fun…” He’d trailed off as Dejun had frowned, all his previous bravery instantly dissipated.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s a really nice offer, Hyuck-ah,” he’d started to say, and Donghyuck had already known how this was going to end, “but I, uh—I actually have a date that night.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh.” Donghyuck hadn’t wanted to pry, but Dejun had continued regardless.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s already a bit of a disaster, as dates go, because Yang Yang accidentally invited himself along.” Dejun had smirked, not looking especially annoyed by that fact, and Donghyuck strongly suspected that there was a pretty interesting story there. “Still, I’ve been waiting for this for a very long time.” He had looked up at Donghyuck then, tucking the music in his hands into a large plastic folder. “Another time, maybe?”</p><p> </p><p>“Sure.” One word. That single word was all the younger boy had been able to muster, as Dejun tucked the bulging folder into his backpack and then headed for the exit. He’d almost been out of the door by the time Donghyuck found his voice again, choking out one last question as the overwhelming disappointment flooded through him. “Is it Kunhang-ssi?” The flush in the older boy’s cheeks had told him everything he needed to know, and then he had been alone.</p><p> </p><p>That had been that, Donghyuck thought, as the bell rang for the end of classes and he realised that he’d not heard a single word the teacher had said for the entire hour. Of the eight people he’d been charged with gathering, he’d managed five—and, even then, most of that had been down to other people. He couldn’t claim responsibility for the freshmen, since they would be there regardless of his intervention, and Jeno had definitely been a joint effort.</p><p> </p><p>Still, he’d tried. He’d be lying if he said it didn't sting a little to have failed, but there was nothing he could do about it now. He wasn't going to attempt to ruin Dejun’s date—that was beyond the pale to even consider—and he was happy that Dejun seemed excited about it. He just hoped that, whatever might happen tomorrow night, it wouldn’t be adversely affected by their absence.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyuckie?” Jaemin’s face swam into Donghyuck’s field of vision, a bright, toothy smile lifting his mood just a little. The younger boy watched him attentively, making sure he had his full attention, before offering him a sheet of paper. “I borrowed yours and filled it in with mine. I hope that’s okay. I’m not as good at history as Renjunie, but hopefully it helps.”</p><p> </p><p>Glancing down to see that Jaemin held a completed worksheet in his outstretched hands, identical to the one that had been deposited onto his desk halfway through the lesson, Donghyuck couldn't help but smile. “Thanks, NaNa. Sorry I was a bit out of it this afternoon.” </p><p> </p><p>Jaemin knew what was going on, and had heard it all already, so Donghyuck knew he didn't really need to explain. Instead, the younger boy just shook his head forcefully and gave the piece of paper another gentle wiggle in the air. “Don’t worry so much,” Jaemin insisted. “Everything is going to be fine.” Donghyuck hoped he was right.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>The following day, a few hours after noon, Donghyuck pulled up outside Jaemin’s house and rolled down the nearside car window. The air was decidedly chilly out, but it was bright overhead without the subtle tinting offered by the thick glass, so he raised a hand to shield his eyes from the sun. Squinting, he could just about make out Jaemin’s silhouette hurrying down the driveway, then the boy was shoving his overnight bag onto Renjun’s lap and scrambling into the rear passenger seat beside him and Jeno.</p><p> </p><p>With the longest legs in the group by far, Yukhei had quickly claimed the front passenger seat, and was now busy playing with the radio like he was training to become the world’s most indecisive DJ. Donghyuck had initially been surprised when he’d requested a ride, using Jeno as his proxy, but the boy was already proving to be an incredibly entertaining driving companion.</p><p> </p><p>Not that he expected anything else from the perpetually boisterous senior. Where Renjun and Jeno had spent the ride to Jaemin’s house resolutely staring out of a window—or at each other—Yukhei had excitedly sung along to all of the classics with Donghyuck, interrupting their karaoke masterclass only to wave excitedly out of his window at random dogs that ambled past on the sidewalk.</p><p> </p><p>With Jaemin quickly joining in on a third, almost completely out of tune harmony, they made good time out onto the highway and Donghyuck settled into the drive. It took a little longer than usual, given that it was a busy Saturday afternoon, but the traffic moved relatively smoothly and Donghyuck found himself enjoying the time with his friends. He saw them all the time at school, and before that around the dorms and practice studios, but it was rare in both realities to have time just to enjoy their presence, with nothing else lingering over them.</p><p> </p><p>It almost distracted him from his nerves about the showcase to come, and about the long-awaited meeting with the last two of his beloved brothers. Almost.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>“What time did you say they were expecting us?” Jaemin asked, as Donghyuck carefully manoeuvred the vehicle into a too-tight parking spot on Greek Row. They were a short distance down the road from their destination, closer to Epsilon Eta Phi than to Jaehyun’s frat house, but the street was bustling today and there were a lot of cars coming and going. Donghyuck suspected that it would be much quieter later, upon their return from the showcase, but right now they’d been lucky to get a spot at all.</p><p> </p><p>“Any time after four,” Donghyuck told him reflexively, glancing briefly at the clock on the dash. Four thirty-six; perfect timing. He couldn't say that he’d planned it that way, but he wasn't complaining. He hoped it was the universe sending him a sign that things were still going to go his way. He looked out at the looming mansion to his left, then turned to face the three boys squashed like sardines into the small back seat together. “Ready to go to another college party?”</p><p> </p><p>“Never again,” Renjun grumbled, elbowing Jaemin in the arm and leaning bodily over him to open the door nearest to the curb. “Don’t even joke about that, Hyuckie. I do, however, really want to get out of this car now. I can’t feel my leg.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry,” Jeno said softly, glancing down at where he was pressed up against Renjun’s thigh. There really wasn't enough space for the three of them back there, Donghyuck noted, as he watched the taller boy flush pink. “You should have told me, Renjun-ah. I could have—”</p><p> </p><p>“Could have what?” Renjun asked him, an amused smile spreading across his lips despite his discomfort. His eyes quickly took in the way that Jeno was pressed tightly up against the door, so perfectly contoured to its curves that Donghyuck half expected him to bear permanent indentations from the metal, and he chuckled. “That’s what I thought. Besides, it’s not actually you I was talking about.” He elbowed Jaemin again, this time catching him in the back as he was in the process of climbing out onto the sidewalk, and the younger boy let out a grunt of protest.</p><p> </p><p>“What did I do now?”</p><p> </p><p>“Aside from manspreading,” Renjun said scathingly, even as he struggled to fight back his smile. “Your foot has been crushing my toes for at least half an hour.”</p><p> </p><p>Jaemin pivoted, still half in and half out of the car, and glanced down to see that his foot was, indeed, firmly planted on top of Renjun’s shoe. “Oops.” He lifted it off immediately, almost falling onto his face on the asphalt, and cringed. “Sorry, Injunie.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s fine, NaNa. Just get out.” Renjun pursed his lips, Jaemin flushed an identical shade to Jeno, and all was suddenly right with the world again. They all piled out of the car after Jaemin, before collecting their bags. Since the showcase was due to end late, they had arranged to stay the night in the Annex. Taeil hadn't been overly thrilled about all the extra bodies, especially ones that were still decidedly underage taking up residence in a frat house, but Dongyoung had worked his magic and the four of them had been granted special presidential dispensation.</p><p> </p><p>They made their way quickly inside the main house, garnering strange looks from several confused residents as they passed, and then out into the rear garden. Yukhei stopped several times along the way to sneak a look inside various rooms, Donghyuck wondering what the fraternity at large thought about the group of rowdy teenagers currently tramping through their living space, but eventually they arrived outside the Annex.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyung?” he called, pushing open the door and stepping into the cosy living room. There was less clutter around the sofas and coffee table today, as though someone—probably Dongyoung or Taeil—had cleaned up in preparation for their arrival, but the space still looked welcoming and lived in.</p><p> </p><p>“Little brother!” Donghyuck barely had time to blink and let his bag drop limply from his fingers onto the floor at his feet, before he was rocked backwards by a whirlwind of affection and noise in the form of Nakamoto Yuta. The man wrapped him into a fierce hug, almost crushing him under his strong grip, and planted a wet, sloppy kiss on his cheek.</p><p> </p><p>“Ew. Hyung.” Donghyuck groaned, pretending to be disgusted as he shoved the man away from him. Yuta stepped back easily, grinning widely, and winked at him before turning to address the four other boys watching him with wide eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m Yuta,” he told them happily. “Welcome to the Annex. I’m everyone’s favourite hyung; isn’t that right, Hyuck-ah?”</p><p> </p><p>“Hardly.” Dongyoung stepped out gracefully from behind Yuta and smacked him sharply on the arm. Donghyuck hadn't even seen the younger man materialise and, judging by the way Renjun jumped and let out a squeak of surprise, neither had anyone else. “Hey, Haechan-ah.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hey,” Donghyuck mimicked, this time directed at the junior as he allowed Dongyoung to pull him into another all-encompassing hug. Yuta huffed in mock insult over his shoulder, before loudly starting to explain to Donghyuck’s friends why Dongyoung was wrong. The younger boy tuned him out, leaning into Dongyoung’s chest with a sigh. “I did my best, hyung.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know you did, Hyuck-ah,” Dongyoung whispered, lips close enough to Donghyuck’s ear that no one else would be able to overhear them. He ruffled Donghyuck’s hair, before pulling back slightly to allow him to look into his eyes. “Everything will work out. Taeyong-hyung and Sicheng-ah will be there, and that’s what matters. Don’t stress.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know,” Donghyuck muttered, training his gaze on the floor at Dongyoung’s feet. “I just—”</p><p> </p><p>“It’ll be fine,” Dongyoung told him firmly, lifting his chin to force him to make eye contact. “Let’s just make sure we have a great night and support Yuta-hyung, okay?” Donghyuck wanted to ask a thousand questions, to analyse if there was anything else he could have done to make this work out, but Dongyoung’s unwavering gaze told him that any insecurities would be summarily shut down.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay.”</p><p> </p><p>Jaehyun chose that moment to make his appearance from upstairs, closely followed by Taeil and Jungwoo, effectively ending their conversation. The hugs continued to flow, with Jungwoo quickly going to Yukhei’s side and pulling him down onto one of the sofas with him. Jaemin and Jeno piled onto either end of the other, leaving Renjun to wedge himself awkwardly between them, and Donghyuck claimed a seat on the floor next to Yuta.</p><p> </p><p>Yuta was practically vibrating with energy beside him as the two halves of his family got to know each other a bit better, with Taeil making conversation with Renjun and Jaemin about school, while Jeno picked up some topic he and Dongyoung had apparently bonded over at the party all those weeks ago. Nudging Yuta gently, Donghyuck leaned into the man’s side and lowered his voice.</p><p> </p><p>“How are you feeling about tonight?”</p><p> </p><p>Yuta looked up at him, and Donghyuck could see the excited glint in his eye as he rolled the muscles in his neck lazily. “I didn't think I would be so excited, but I feel like I’m a kid again,” Yuta enthused. “Ten and his group have worked really hard on the routine, and I think we have a good chance of winning this thing.”</p><p> </p><p>“You should, hyung,” Donghyuck agreed. “You and Ten-hyung are both amazing dancers.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’ve never even seen me dance, little brother,” Yuta insisted, and Donghyuck thought for a moment that he might question the statement, but then the man just shrugged. “You’re not wrong though. Ten’s choreography is crazy.”</p><p> </p><p>“It really is,” Jungwoo cut in, looking up from where Yukhei’s large fingers were massaging his knee absently, and made an exaggerated face at Yuta. “And you’re not so bad yourself, hyung. I saw you practising, and you looked pretty good to me.”</p><p> </p><p>“When did you see me?” Yuta asked, lips pulling down in confusion. He twisted around to look directly up at Jungwoo, who just shot him an innocent look.</p><p> </p><p>“I was curious. I stopped by after practice the other night to see if you wanted to catch the bus home together, but you looked busy, so I left. I might have watched through the window for a while first though. Sue me.” Yuta’s brows rose in surprise, but he didn't look especially upset by the intrusion.</p><p> </p><p>“Did you really think it looked good?” he asked hesitantly, the excitement in his face dimming a little as it was replaced by genuine interest. He might have been confident in his abilities, Donghyuck realised, but he still cared a lot about what his roommate thought.</p><p> </p><p>“I did,” Jungwoo told him, even as a small smirk spread across his lips. “Although I was slightly more interested in the guy you were flirting with afterwards. Who’s tha—Xuxi, help me!” Jungwoo let out a yelp as Yuta leapt on top of him, slapping a hand haphazardly across the younger man’s face. He missed, almost poking Jungwoo’s eye out, but Yukhei just threw his head back and laughed as his boyfriend squirmed uncomfortably beside him. Behind them, Donghyuck saw Dongyoung smirk knowingly, but he didn't make any moves to rescue Jungwoo. Instead, he deliberately looked away and met Donghyuck’s eye, smirk spreading into a full-blown evil grin.</p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>The bar was packed. Not all of the patrons were paying attention to the heavy sections of staging currently being wheeled in and latched together against one wall—with many nursing drinks at the bar, their backs to the action, or crammed into booths on the opposite side of the room—but a healthy smattering of people milled around in the middle of the space as they arrived.</p><p> </p><p>Yuta disappeared almost as soon as he’d shown his ID to the bouncer at the door, locating Ten quickly across the room with a wave and an effervescent bounce on his heels. He was dressed all in black, which was a contrast to the muted greys and whites that Donghyuck had seen the man wear around the Annex, but he blended in with several other similarly dressed students that surrounded Ten. They really looked like a coordinated unit, Donghyuck thought, as Yuta pulled Ten in for a side-hug and started to make conversation with a tall girl tying her shoe in a seat nearby.</p><p> </p><p>The rest of Donghyuck’s group swarmed en masse towards the collection of seats that were arranged in the otherwise emptied-out half of the room, folding chairs angled in towards the stage on three sides. There weren’t nearly enough of them, considering the particularly large group that had accompanied Yuta, so Taeil and Jaehyun quickly volunteered to help the organisers to collect more from a back room.</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck flexed his left hand, watching how the black cross emblazoned across his tanned skin contorted and shifted slightly as he moved, then glanced over at Jaemin to see the younger boy doing the same. Catching him staring, Jaemin shot him a mischievous look and wiggled his fingers suggestively. “Do you reckon we could wash these off in the bathroom?”</p><p> </p><p>“Probably not a good idea, Jaemin-ah,” Jeno said, stepping up beside them and patting the boy on the shoulder consolingly. “You weren’t the one who had to carry your sorry ass out to the car the last time you got drunk.”</p><p> </p><p>“Neither were you,” Jaemin muttered, glaring half-heartedly at the older boy. “Yuta-hyung did it.” Jeno just cocked one eyebrow in challenge, his gaze flicking over to where Yuta had just started to stretch with Ten, and Jaemin rolled his eyes petulantly. “Fine. No fun for NaNa tonight. Got it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Baby.” Jeno snorted, squaring his shoulders as he started to walk away from Jaemin.</p><p> </p><p>“Dumbass.”</p><p> </p><p>“Takes one to know one,” Jeno shot back.</p><p> </p><p>Jaemin scoffed loudly, chasing after Jeno as he made a beeline for Renjun and Dongyoung, leaving Donghyuck alone with Jungwoo and Yukhei. Not wanting to interrupt what seemed to be a fairly intense conversation happening between the two of them, Donghyuck let his attention wander as he stared around the bar.</p><p> </p><p>It was dimly lit and the walls were painted black, which fitted with what he knew about the establishment. Jaehyun had said that <em> The Blue Rose </em> turned into a club at night usually—when it wasn't being invaded by a horde of college dancers—and the faint veneer of dirt and grease that clung to almost every surface told a poignant story. The floor beneath Donghyuck’s shoes was slightly sticky too, as he shifted from foot to foot, and he suspected that it remained like that in perpetuity. All in all, it wasn't the nicest place Donghyuck had ever been, but it made for a suitably atmospheric performance venue.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyung?” Startling at the familiar, high-pitched shriek, Donghyuck turned on his heel to see Chenle, Jisung and Sicheng standing a few feet behind him. They had clearly just arrived, from the way that Jisung was smudging his marker pen brand as he rubbed at it in disgust, but Chenle looked like he’d be frozen in carbonite. He stood, motionless with his mouth open and he stared at Donghyuck, who gave him a small wave.</p><p> </p><p>“Surprise.”</p><p> </p><p>“What are you doing here?” Jisung asked bluntly, blinking at him owlishly from behind round, wire-framed glasses. When Sicheng poked him in the ribs with his index finger, Jisung grimaced. “I mean, it’s surprising to see you here, hyung. Are you here to watch the showcase?”</p><p> </p><p>“I am,” Donghyuck said, briefly making eye contact with a bemused looking WinWin over Jisung’s shoulder. Chenle seemed to recover then, unlocking his jaw and blinking rapidly, before hurrying over to Donghyuck.</p><p> </p><p>“Hi, hyung,” he said, this time much less ear-splittingly loudly, and tucked himself into Donghyuck’s side for a quick hug. Donghyuck smiled down at the top of the boy’s head affectionately, as Jisung led his brother over towards them, and then released Chenle to take Sicheng’s proffered hand. There was no earth-shattering explosion on contact, not that Donghyuck expected there to be, but the man’s hand was warm and comforting as it flexed once around his fingers.</p><p> </p><p>“Lee Donghyuck,” he offered, when Sicheng released him. The stoic man’s eyes widened in some semblance of recognition at that, glancing down questioningly at the two freshmen on either side of them, but then he bowed his head politely.</p><p> </p><p>“Dong Sicheng,” he supplied. “I think we’ve met once before, albeit very briefly. I’m Jisung’s adoptive brother.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re my actual brother,” Jisung corrected, earning him a rare smile from the quiet man, and Chenle turned to address them both.</p><p> </p><p>“This is the hyung we told you about, ge,” Chenle said excitably. “The one who helped me with my audition piece and who dances with us after school.” Sicheng seemed to have already figured out as much, because he just reached out and ruffled Chenle’s hair gently, but Donghyuck knew that he approved from the way that Sicheng’s eyes met and stayed locked, unwaveringly on his own.</p><p> </p><p>His WinWin was the same, he thought, as the man leant down to whisper something in Chenle’s ear that made the younger boy light up like a tree at Christmas. Retiring, often to the point of fading into the background when around those he didn't know well, but a fierce supporter of the people he loved. It was one of the things Donghyuck had always admired most in him.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you here to watch my brothers perform?” Jisung asked after a few moments. “I didn’t know that you knew either of them.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t,” Donghyuck lied, as he looked back over his shoulder to see Yuta and Ten sat watching something on Yuta’s phone. “I’m here to support my brother’s roommate. He’s over there.” Three sets of eyes followed the arm he flung out behind him, one of those pairs darting away almost immediately as the owner found a spot on the ground suddenly fascinating. Jisung and Chenle didn't notice, but Donghyuck couldn’t help but grin at the wave of shyness that swept over Sicheng’s expression. Apparently, regardless of what reality they were in, no one had the ability to fluster WinWin quite as much as Nakamoto Yuta.</p><p> </p><p>“I should head over to the bar and find your brother,” Sicheng told Jisung abruptly, shifting everyone’s attention away from Yuta. “He’s probably still working, knowing him, and he needs to warm up soon.”</p><p> </p><p>“Working?” Donghyuck asked, at the same moment that Chenle gasped dramatically and clapped his hands in front of himself.</p><p> </p><p>“I forgot that you hadn’t met Taeyong-hyung yet,” the indomitable boy practically yelled. Donghyuck wouldn't have been surprised if half the bar had heard him, but Chenle continued unperturbed. “He’s working a double shift today, since it hardly makes sense for him to drive home just to come all the way back, but I’m sure he’d love to meet you.” He looked pointedly over at Jisung, who just stared blankly back at him. “Jisung mentions you all the time at home.”</p><p> </p><p>“Do <em> not </em>.” Donghyuck would have almost believed him, if it wasn't for the way Jisung’s cheeks tinged crimson as he spoke, but then Chenle was dragging him by the arm across to the far side of the room. Sicheng and Jisung trailed behind them at a safe distance, but Donghyuck didn't look back more than once to see if they were following. Instead, his gaze locked onto a familiar, effortlessly flawless face darting about behind the polished, aluminium bar up ahead.</p><p> </p><p>Taeyong didn't look up until they were almost on top of him, Chenle hopping onto an empty barstool next to a burly man with a shaved head and a tattoo of a dragon on his neck. Chenle observed him with open curiosity for a moment, before kicking off the footrest with his swinging feet to rotate the chair around to face Taeyong, who was busy making a drink for the much younger man in the seat to Chenle’s right.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyung,” Chenle said happily, when Taeyong caught sight of him and paused mid-pour, smiling down at his little brother’s best friend. Finishing the drink, he slid it over to its owner neatly, before leaning forward onto his forearms on the bartop. He placed himself on a level with Chenle, so that he could look directly into the younger boy’s eyes, and tutted disapprovingly.</p><p> </p><p>“Chenle-yah, you know what my rule is about minors at the bar.” Chenle pouted, and Taeyong’s expression softened considerably. “Even cute ones. I’m nearly done, but I still have customers and you’re not nearly old enough to be one of them yet.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know, hyung,” Chenle said, sounding completely unphased by the rebuke, and tugged Donghyuck closer in behind him. The older boy felt his shins hit the metal base of the stool and he winced slightly, but didn't pull away. “We wanted you to meet Donghyuck-hyung.”</p><p> </p><p>At his use of the word <em> we </em>, Taeyong’s gaze shot up, immediately seeking out his brothers, who hovered awkwardly behind their more outgoing companion. Then Taeyong’s eyes flicked over to Donghyuck, down to his shirt-sleeve still clamped in Chenle’s surprisingly strong grip, and then finally up to his face. Taeyong blinked once, his keen gaze sweeping over every inch of Donghyuck’s exposed skin in a heartbeat, like he was assessing his worth—at the exact same moment that the non-tattooed patron next to Chenle turned to face them.</p><p> </p><p>“Dongyoung-hyung?” Donghyuck hissed, as Chenle’s eyes alighted with recognition and he grinned up at Dongyoung as well.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyung, this is Dongyou—” He paused, assessing the situation with some confusion. “Wait. How do you know Dongyoung-hyung?”</p><p> </p><p>“How do you?” Donghyuck shot back.</p><p> </p><p>“He’s Taeyong-hyung’s...uh, friend.” Both Taeyong and Dongyoung had the grace to look mildly scandalised by the blatant omission, but neither of them mentioned it. Instead, they just made eye contact over Chenle’s head, and Taeyong shrugged.</p><p> </p><p>“He’s his boyfriend,” Jisung piped up from behind them, sliding around Donghyuck to hoist himself up into the barstool next to Chenle. It was a tight squeeze with both of them on it, and it wobbled precariously for a moment, but then he wrapped an arm around Chenle’s waist and leaned in close to centre their gravity. “He bought us ice cream last weekend. It was nice.”</p><p> </p><p>“Is that all it took to win you over?” Taeyong started to ask, chuckling in amusement. Jisung looked ready to protest, cheeks puffing out adorably, but then Taeyong was called to the far side of the bar to help the other bartender with a large drinks order. Granted a brief reprieve, Donghyuck leaned into Dongyoung and tapped him on the arm.</p><p> </p><p>“What do we do if something happens, hyung?” he muttered lowly, lips close to the older man’s ear. Dongyoung jumped, as though he’d forgotten the boy was even there, and tore his eyes from Taeyong’s—well, a part of Taeyong that Donghyuck didn't ever want to think about.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m more concerned by what might happen if it doesn’t,” Dongyoung admitted, hooking an arm around Donghyuck’s shoulders. Pulling him in under the guise of a hug, he spoke quietly, despite the background hum of noise in the room masking his words. “You’ll be okay if this doesn’t work, right Hyuckie? I don’t want you to get hurt if nothing happens.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll be fine, hyung,” he said, shooting the man a reassuring smile. “Besides, not everyone is here anyway. Maybe it’ll only work with everyone around.”</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe,” Dongyoung mused, but his fingers curled reflexively tighter around Donghyuck’s bicep. “I saw Kun-ssi earlier, talking to Ten, so we’re only missing three. Maybe it’ll—” The audible vibration of Donghyuck’s phone in his jeans pocket interrupted whatever Dongyoung had been about to say, both of them frowning down at the device as Donghyuck extracted it and tapped the screen.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Look to your left!! </em>
</p><p> </p><p>The message was from Renjun’s phone, just four words, but the punctuation was uncharacteristic enough for his friend that they both followed the instruction immediately. For a moment, Donghyuck found himself staring aimlessly down the long row of barstools towards the bar entrance, not sure exactly what he was looking for, but then he saw them.</p><p> </p><p>Yang Yang was out in front, sliding his jacket off his shoulders as he stepped further into the main room. Behind him, Dejun and Kunhang were arm in arm, leaning in towards each other as Kunhang laughed at something Dejun had said. There were a few other people Donghyuck recognised too, Soonyoung and the other senior dancers fanned out in an arc around the three boys, but they faded into the background as tunnel vision threatened to overwhelm Donghyuck’s senses.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s wrong?” Dongyoung was asking behind him, head likely bent at an awkward angle over the bartop to try to see around him to whatever he was looking at, but Donghyuck didn't move. Instead, he just placed the phone down onto the sticky, beer-coated metal and tried to breathe through his nose. “Hyuck?”</p><p> </p><p>“They’re here,” he said eventually. He wasn't even sure that he’d spoken loud enough to be heard, but then Dongyoung was crowding his personal space, leaning in so close behind him that Donghyuck thought he might be able to wear the older man like a backpack.</p><p> </p><p>“They?” Dongyoung asked. The tone in his voice told him that the man didn't really need to ask, but he nodded regardless.</p><p> </p><p>“They.” He swallowed tightly around the sudden lump in his throat. “Everyone is here.” <em> Or almost everyone. </em></p><p> </p><p>“Sorry about that.” Taeyong’s voice ripped Donghyuck from his stupefied reverie, and both he and Dongyoung snapped back to focus on the cheerful bartender like they’d been shocked to attention. “No rest for the wicked, or the barkeep.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s okay, hyung,” Chenle chirped aerily, reminding Donghyuck that the others were still there beside them. He’d almost forgotten, in truth. “We know you’re busy.”</p><p> </p><p>“Never too busy to meet a new friend, Chenle-yah,” Taeyong insisted, turning his attention back to Donghyuck and Dongyoung. The younger boy knew that they must have looked more than a little shell shocked, because he hesitated for a brief moment, but then politely extended his hand over the bar towards Donghyuck. “I’ve heard a lot about you,” he said softly, “from several reputable sources. You must be something special, Donghyuck-ssi.”</p><p> </p><p>“I—” Donghyuck looked to Dongyoung one last time, hoping to sap any last ounce of bravery he could beg, borrow or steal, and then he stepped up next to Chenle. The universe seemed to hold its breath. “I’m nobody really…” <em> …but somewhere out there, to those I left behind, I might just be somebody.</em></p><p> </p><p>He took Taeyong's hand.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The second half of the showcase will be coming very soon. My work calendar is pretty light this week, so I'm cautiously optimistic about multiple mid-week chapters. I'll try not to leave you hanging.</p><p>We also hit 1000 comments this week, which I just wanted to freak out about for a hot second. Most of you will know just how much comments mean to me, so thank you so much to everyone who's ever left one. I still have, uh... 120 comments from recent chapters to reply to (thanks in part to a not-so-secret little project that I didn't anticipate anyone actually seeing yet), which is a little daunting, but I'll get there eventually. Try not to judge me too harshly when I respond to comments from three weeks ago like nothing happened. I read them all as they come in. I just don't always have much time to respond in the moment.</p><p>As always, have a wonderful day! &lt;3</p><p> </p><p>  <strong>THREE</strong></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0042"><h2>42. Chapter 42</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>PSA: I'm officially giving up on promises and any hopes of proper upload consistency. I'll just take whatever I can get at this point.</p><p>Cautiously optimistic about a quiet week? Here, have this multi-million dollar client review that's due by midnight Friday...you've clearly got nothing better to do. *sigh* If you're still in school, cherish it while you can, kids. Jobs are hard! I just want to write and sleep normal hours, and sometimes that's not easy. I love my job, I really do, but it's definitely not all sunshine and rainbows.</p><p>Anyway, it's nearly 5 am here and the sun is about to start coming back up again, so I'm going to drop this one and go get some sleep. I know some of you aren't going to especially like the direction this one takes, but remember that this was always the plan. This chapter has to crawl, so that future ones can run. I hope you still enjoy!</p><p>P.S. I don't think anyone actually noticed, but I messed up on my continuity (for the first time?) in the last chapter, and had to fix it in here via subtle retcon. Bonus points if you can figure out what mistake I'm referring to. ;)</p><p>P.P.S. It's Mark's 21st birthday today, and we all know that he's a precious snowflake in every single reality. He might not have made it into this one just yet, but I love him dearly! &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Taeyong’s skin was cool and smooth everywhere it made contact with his own. Whether from handling ice for all the drinks he’d been making behind the bar or from his own natural body temperature, Donghyuck wasn’t sure. What he was sure about though, was that he had been expecting—well, something. Something more; something impactful, which might suddenly allow everything else to make sense.</p><p> </p><p>That didn't happen.</p><p> </p><p>Instead, Donghyuck felt Taeyong’s fingers flex within his own a few times, the gesture both courteous and polite, and then pull away. He almost didn't let them go, tempted to hold on until he felt whatever it was that he was so sure that he should have felt, but then the slight chill was gone and Taeyong’s hand dropped out of view behind the bar that separated them.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you okay?” Donghyuck wasn't sure exactly what expression graced his face right then, but the concern in Taeyong’s eyes, as he lifted his head to make eye contact, told him it wasn't good. He felt empty, mind searching fruitlessly for some spark of cognizance deep inside himself, but he still managed to nod and offer the older man what he hoped was a reassuring smile. Taeyong frowned. “Was my hand dirty? I deal with spills and mess all the time back here, so I probably should have washed them first. I’m sorr—”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s fine.” Donghyuck forced himself to interrupt the apology, shaking his head quickly to assuage Taeyong’s concerns. “I’m fine.” He grinned back earnestly, mirroring the relieved smile that crossed the bartender’s lips at his words, forcing all the turbulent thoughts into the furthest recesses of his mind for the time being. He also ignored the heavy, pointed gaze that he felt pressing in on him from Dongyoung to his right.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m Taeyong, by the way.” Taeyong glanced over at Chenle and Jisung, and then back at Donghyuck before continuing. “You probably already know that, since—well, heaven knows I’ve heard enough about you to feel like we’ve been friends for years at this point.” Jisung ducked his head, hiding behind his hair, and Taeyong chuckled affectionately. “Feel free to call me hyung. I don’t know about you, but I feel like we can probably skip right past the getting-to-know-you stage.”</p><p> </p><p>“That sounds good to me, hyung,” Donghyuck agreed. “You, uh, might have been mentioned a few times too.” He didn't bother to point out that said mentions had almost exclusively come from Dongyoung, or that the two younger boys had done their level best to keep Taeyong’s name a secret thus far. He guessed that it didn't really matter anymore, now that everything was out in the open—<em> and everyone was here </em>.</p><p> </p><p>It didn’t matter either way in the end, given that nothing had happened, Donghyuck thought somberly.</p><p> </p><p>“All good things, I hope,” Taeyong said questioningly.</p><p> </p><p>“Of course.” The older man looked like he wanted to say more, but the unpleasant squeal of a sound system turning on from somewhere across the room effectively curtailed the rest of their conversation. Turning, Donghyuck saw that a short, slightly overweight man in a suit now stood on the newly completed stage, wielding a large microphone. He tapped it twice, before asking people to take their seats, and, as if that was the cue he’d been waiting for, Sicheng spoke for the first time since his arrival at the bar.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyung, I know you’re still busy, but we need to warm up.” He spoke softly, so softly that Donghyuck almost had trouble hearing him. Taeyong, however, clearly didn't have that issue, nodding in silent agreement as he started to unpin his name tag and slipped a small, white towel off his arm and onto the bartop in front of him. Glancing across at the sole other bartender, he made a swift, circular motion with the fingers of one hand that the man seemed to understand, then turned back to face their group.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay. Sungie. Chenle-yah. You know the drill by now.” Taeyong fixed them both with a serious look, despite the obvious warmth lingering in his gaze. “Find yourselves a seat near the front, where we can see you from both the waiting area and the stage. If you need to go anywhere, don’t go alone. Stick togeth—”</p><p> </p><p>He paused then, seeming to remember that there were two other people—besides Sicheng—watching their one-sided interaction. He met Donghyuck’s eyes first as he looked up, before his gaze shifted to Dongyoung beside him. Taeyong blinked slowly, a shallow breath escaping his lips, and then he straightened up to his full height. “Actually, I guess you’re okay tonight, huh?”</p><p> </p><p>“They can sit with us, hyung,” Dongyoung offered, earning him a grateful smile from his boyfriend. “They’ll be safe with me.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know.”</p><p> </p><p>Taeyong chose that moment to slip out through the small, hinged opening in the bartop, a few seats down from where they were clustered, and then hurried around to join them again. He rested a hand lightly on top of Dongyoung’s shoulder, fingers curling around the lean muscle there for a moment before he pulled away, and then focused in on Jisung’s face.</p><p> </p><p>“Is that okay with you, baby?” Jisung nodded, eyes flicking quickly between his brother, Dongyoung and Donghyuck before he spoke, and Taeyong nodded again. “Okay. Stay with Doyoung-ah, and we’ll come find you at the end.”</p><p> </p><p>With that, and after another brief round of Jisung-sandwich hugs from his brothers—Chenle worming his way in there too, somehow—Taeyong and Sicheng disappeared off together, leaving the three high-schoolers with Dongyoung. Jisung was somewhat hesitant to leave the bar, especially when he saw the large group of unfamiliar faces he was being led towards, but Chenle’s small hand in his seemed to give him just enough courage to let Dongyoung point him towards a seat near the end of a row next to Renjun.</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck considered taking the free seat directly behind Chenle, which would have put him right next to Jungwoo, but Dongyoung’s uncompromising grip on his arm steered him away before he could make a move. He didn't resist, knowing that this conversation was inevitable, and they stopped a few paces away, just far enough removed from the group that no one would overhear.</p><p> </p><p>“What happened back there, Haechan-ah?” Dongyoung deliberately angled his body so that he could keep one eye on his two youngest charges, just like he’d promised Taeyong he would, but most of his attention was suddenly laser-focused on Donghyuck’s face. “It looked like something happened, but I don’t—”</p><p> </p><p>“I—” Donghyuck glanced down at his hand, watching as his fingers flexed closed into a fist before opening again. Despite knowing the truth, he wasn't sure how to explain it to the man watching him expectantly. Hell, he wasn't really sure how to explain it to himself. He’d been so sure, so confident that something would have happened at the moment he took Taeyong’s hand, that it actually felt like something had been stolen from him instead.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyuck?” Dongyoung’s voice was soft and full of concern, but it demanded an answer, one that he wasn't sure how to give.</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing happened, hyung,” Donghyuck said finally, shoulders slumping as he voiced the truth he’d been trying to avoid admitting to himself. “I touched him, and... nothing.” He shrugged, lifting his head to meet Dongyoung’s gaze. “I don’t know what else to say.”</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe it’s a delayed thing?” Dongyoung asked thoughtfully, both hands coming up to wrap almost protectively around Donghyuck’s upper arms. “The first time, you were asleep when it happened. Maybe you just need to sleep again this time?”</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck considered that for a moment, as Dongyoung’s eyes traced slowly over the frown that he knew had taken up permanent residence on his face. He guessed that, in theory, it was possible that he’d wake up tomorrow morning back in his bedroom at the dorm, Johnny snoring in the bed next to his. In theory, they could have stumbled upon the exact formula that would allow him to leave, to return the way he had arrived. In theory, it wasn't entirely beyond the realms of possibility—except for the profound, all-consuming gut feeling he couldn't shake that told him he was <em> wrong </em>.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t think so, hyung,” he said resignedly. “I would have felt it.” He didn't quite know how to get Dongyoung to understand what he knew without a shadow of a doubt, but it turned out that he didn't need to. The older man just sighed, before pulling him in for another fierce hug.</p><p> </p><p>“Alright.” Donghyuck let himself feel the rise and fall of his hyung’s chest for a few moments, allowing the peace of the man’s stoic presence to wash over him, before Dongyoung stepped back to look him in the eye. “If you’re sure, that’s good enough for me.” His expression softened. “I’m sorry it didn't work, Hyuckie. If I’d known, I wouldn’t have…”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s okay,” Donghyuck insisted, needing to assure his kind-hearted brother that he didn't blame him for the failed plan. He’d already done so much for Donghyuck over the past few days, not to mention the emotional rock he’d been during Renjun’s meltdown a few weeks earlier, and he’d meant well. It might not have ended how they’d hoped, but the fact that he was here was a testament to his character, and to the man that both Dongyoungs had grown up to be. “At least we can strike one theory off our list tonight. Thank you for trying, hyung.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m so proud of you, little brother,” Dongyoung told him, inadvertently borrowing Yuta’s favourite term of endearment. That made Donghyuck smirk, which quickly turned into a full-blown laugh as Dongyoung realised—with no small amount of horror and disgust dawning—what he’d just said, and the mood between them brightened instantaneously.</p><p> </p><p>“Speaking of pride,” Donghyuck said, eyeing the older man surreptitiously, “I noticed how Chenle called you Dongyoung, but Taeyong-hyung still called you Doyoung.” Dongyoung’s expression went blank, eyes wide as he processed Donghyuck’s words, and then he groaned. “Care to explain?”</p><p> </p><p>“There’s nothing to explain,” Dongyoung tried to insist, but Donghyuck’s intense stare wore him down faster than the younger boy thought was possible. It was like he’d been fully expecting to be called out on it eventually, and had decided to simply cave before any real pressure was applied. “Okay, so he found out.”</p><p> </p><p>“Doesn’t take a genius to figure that one out, hyung.” Dongyoung shot him an offended, almost betrayed look, but continued regardless.</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks for the vote of confidence, Hyuck. Anyway, I somehow let it slip during our second date—the one where we went for lunch at that sushi place on campus, you know?” Donghyuck remembered reading several messages about that one, some of which had been sent from the bathroom during the date itself, so he nodded. “I still don’t know what I said, exactly, but I panicked. I thought he was going to call me out on it, or leave, so I explained what happened the first time we spoke. Do you know what he said?”</p><p> </p><p>“What?”</p><p> </p><p>Dongyoung sighed, cheeks flushing slightly under the dim lighting of the fluorescents overhead. “He said, and I quote, ‘<em> I think Doyoungie suits you, but both are cute. It still doesn’t change the fact that you’ve had rice stuck to your cheek for ten minutes now, and I’ve been sitting here trying to figure out how to tell you without making things awkward. </em>’”</p><p> </p><p>“Wow.” Donghyuck stared up at the older man in stunned silence for a long moment, just absorbing that statement, and then grinned warmly up at him. “You know, I think you two might be perfect for each other.”</p><p> </p><p>“I certainly hope so,” Dongyoung agreed earnestly, just as the announcer called for the lights to be dimmed ready for the showcase to start. They quickly made their way back to the seating area, Dongyoung sliding in next to Jungwoo and Donghyuck next to Jaemin on the back row. For the next few minutes, Donghyuck listened to the man on stage introduce the non-profit he worked for and the format of the night, all the while ignoring the furtive looks Jaemin was sneaking at him when he thought he wasn't looking.</p><p> </p><p>“The showcase is open to any students currently enrolled at the university,” the man was saying, as Jaemin’s forceful gaze threatened to burn a hole in his cheek. “The cash prize—this month worth a record five hundred thousand won, thanks to our generous sponsors—is up for grabs at the end of the night for the overall winners. This group, or individual, will need to impress both our judges,” he gestured towards a group of three women in business suits, seated directly below him nearest centre stage, “and the audience here tonight, so make sure to show your appreciation for your favourite act. The judges will be sure to take that into consideration, when making their decisions later on.”</p><p> </p><p>The man started to introduce each of the judges individually, the women rising one by one and waving to polite applause from the modest audience around them, but Donghyuck couldn't ignore his fidgeting friend anymore. Twisting in his seat, until his knees impacted Jaemin’s, he met the other boy’s eye squarely. “What?”</p><p> </p><p>For a moment, Jaemin didn't speak, continuing to observe him as intently as before, but then his whole body seemed to relax as he slumped down into his chair, like his bones were made of jelly. “You’re…still you.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m—Yeah, of course I’m still me. Who else would I be?” The second the words were out of his mouth, Donghyuck wished desperately that he could take them back, as Jaemin flinched violently and his normally vibrant brown eyes welled with tears. “Oh god, NaNa. I’m sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>“Injunie and I,” Jaemin muttered lowly, angling his body further away from Taeil next to him, as though that might shield them from the prying eyes and ears of others. “We were scared you’d just be…” He lowered his voice even further, glancing hesitantly at the row of bodies seated just in front of them. “...gone.”</p><p> </p><p>“Jaemin-ah.” Leaning into Jaemin’s side, Donghyuck looped an arm around his best friend and let his head drop heavily onto his shoulder. Jaemin tucked his chin into Donghyuck’s hair, as the announcer started to introduce the first act of the evening—a pretty female dancer with the curliest brown hair Donghyuck had ever seen—and they both pointedly ignored the way the younger boy sniffled for several long, agonising minutes.</p><p> </p><p>As he listened to one of the most important people in his life cry softly, Donghyuck played through the whole of the past week in his head. With a sinking, sickening sensation in his stomach, he realised that at no point during his planning and strategizing had he ever considered the wider consequences of tonight. He’d been completely, unwaveringly ready to return home, if Dongyoung’s theory had turned out to be correct, and he hadn't spared a single thought to what might be left behind. He wanted to get back to his family, of course he did, but at what emotional cost?</p><p> </p><p>“How could I have been so selfish?” A sharp look of surprise and confusion from Jungwoo, glancing back from his chair in the row in front, told him that he’d said the words slightly louder than intended, but that didn't make them any less valid or crushing. He’d always been fairly self-centred and indulged, Donghyuck knew that from his years as the overly-dramatic maknae of NCT 127, but this was a slap to the face of any progress he thought he’d made during his time here. He’d thought himself particularly matured compared to the other Dreamies here—taking on somewhat of a mentoring role for his still teen-aged brothers in this reality—but he was suddenly reminded of how woefully far away from adequate he really was.</p><p> </p><p>“I understand, Hyuckie,” Jaemin whispered, letting his lips linger against Donghyuck’s hair for a few seconds too long, before his fingers started to play with the soft strands at the nape of the older boy’s neck. “You just wanted to go home.”</p><p> </p><p>“No, NaNa. No!” That was true, yes, but it wasn't all this was. Not anymore, and certainly not for any of the young men who were now irrevocably tangled into his journey. “I should have talked to you both about it. I should have… I should have at least said goodbye. I’m so sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>“I love you.”</p><p> </p><p>Jaemin didn't say anything more after that, the pair curled tightly in on each other as the lights danced overhead and music flooded in through the sound system, but he didn't need to. Donghyuck understood. He had hurt Jaemin, this boy that he would tear the universe apart for—and he still had a lot to learn about being a friend. He would learn from this and, in the long run, it would make him a better person. He could become better. For Jaemin. For Renjun. For everyone he’d found, and for everyone he’d left behind, he <em> would </em> be better.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>As the fourth act was announced, a troupe of freshmen students under the name <em> Fusion Project </em>, Donghyuck was roused from his fugue stage by an eruption of cheers and applause from somewhere off to his right. Nudging Jaemin gently to get him to sit up a little, he peered around Taeil to see Dejun, Hendery and Yang Yang on their feet, surrounded by their friends, leading a particularly enthusiastic tribute to the dancers currently making their way on stage.</p><p> </p><p>He didn't recognise any of them, which wasn't really a surprise, but Jaemin helpfully waved a printed programme in his face and pointed to a list of names under their entry details. “Most of them were seniors at Neo City High last year,” he supplied helpfully. Taeil glanced over at them curiously for a moment, as Jaemin spoke, but then returned his attention to the performance that was about to begin.</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks,” Donghyuck said. He watched two members of the group on stage lift a third into the air, in a move oddly reminiscent of his part in 127’s debut, before transitioning into a neatly synchronized hip-hop sequence. “They’re actually pretty good.”</p><p> </p><p>“That one,” Jaemin pointed out a boy with short, dyed-blond hair towards the front, “choreographed the entire senior showcase performance last year.” Donghyuck thought that he ought to recognise the boy, who looked vaguely familiar, but none of the names on the page stood out to him. Resigning himself to the knowledge remaining elusive, at least for now, he tried to focus on their routine instead—and not on the cheerleading section that seemed to have spontaneously formed around Dejun and Hendery, who appeared to be enjoying a chaotic, octuple date with almost everyone in the section next to theirs.</p><p> </p><p>Another raucous round of applause followed the end of their performance, as the group descended the steps back into the waiting area on the opposite side of the stage, and then the announcer was introducing the next act. Donghyuck could see Ten’s face just barely peeking out from behind the stage, as he stood waiting with Yuta and the other dancers in his group, and glanced questioningly over at Jaemin.</p><p> </p><p>“It is their turn now?” he asked.</p><p> </p><p>“I think so.”</p><p> </p><p>“Please give a very warm welcome to this next group,” the announcer told the crowd. Jungwoo was already half on his feet, Yukhei following him up and out of his seat without question or hesitation, as the man continued. “For one of their number, I hear that it’s his very first time here with us at <em> The Blue Rose </em> , so let’s make him feel extra welcome.” Ten started to climb the steps, as though following some unspoken cue, and the others quickly fell into line behind him. “Everyone, please lend your support to <em> United Vision </em>.”</p><p> </p><p>If Donghyuck had thought the reaction was loud for the previous group, that paled into insignificance as more than half of the audience stood in unison to greet the performers. Across the room, Dejun and his group were back on their feet and whooping loudly, which made Ten blush and grin like he was a pageant queen on a parade float. Up in front, Kun and a few other, slightly older-looking men clapped enthusiastically, offset by Jaehyun hollering Yuta’s name loud enough to disturb people out on the street outside. Donghyuck added his voice to the din, grinning when Yuta winked at him just before the music began and he took his starting position.</p><p> </p><p>Ten and his crew were very talented too, Donghyuck thought absently, as he watched them start to dominate the stage. Yuta practically vibrated with nervous energy as they began, letting it transition seamlessly into raw power and adrenaline as he hit each and every beat of the choreography perfectly. He almost let his facial expression slip a few times as he moved, the smile fighting to break through, but the fire in his eyes never faltered.</p><p> </p><p>Ten was almost exactly as Donghyuck knew him to be, if a little more loose and carefree in his movements than he was as an idol. The man had been supremely talented since long before Donghyuck had known him, that much was obvious just from the first few seconds, and yet, as he stepped up to take a solo towards the middle of the performance, the pride and admiration for his hyung threatened to tear itself from the younger boy’s chest.</p><p> </p><p>If he hadn’t been so hyper-focused on the performance—along with years of critique and endless monitoring drilled into him—Donghyuck thought he might have missed some of the tiny mistakes when they happened. Not from any of the leads, or at the centre of the formations, but there were a few minute fragments of discord and mismatched movements woven throughout the performance. It was a shame, marring the otherwise perfect choreography, but Donghyuck reminded himself that these weren't professionals. They were college students, and everyone here knew that. They didn't need to be perfect, and their sheer energy more than made up for it.</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck didn't think anyone else—aside from, perhaps, the judges—had noticed, given the exuberant response from those around him as they finished, but, from the way that Ten’s eyes narrowed and his lips curled down just a fraction as he took his bow, it seemed that the Thai man had. Yuta had a blissful smile on his face as he bowed extra deeply towards their side of the stage, waving at his friends, and he didn't seem to have noticed yet. Donghyuck just hoped that they would be able to enjoy the rest of their evening, before the strict perfectionist inside Ten came out to play.</p><p> </p><p>The next two performances passed without much fanfare, both decent groups but not close to matching <em> United Vision </em>—a name that Donghyuck wasn't even going to question at this point, given the name of the town he lived in. Jaemin kept him endlessly entertained by trying to guess which dancer matched with each of the names printed in his programme, snickering quietly to himself as he played the pointless guessing game, and then the announcer was climbing back onto the stage once more.</p><p> </p><p>“Ladies and gentlemen, give it up one more time for the university’s synchronised swim team. Who knew that they could perform those moves both on stage <em> and </em> in the water?” A few polite chuckles from the audience seemed to satisfy the short man and he nodded happily at his own joke, before turning the page on his cue cards. “Ah. Sadly, we’ve now come to our last act of the night.”</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck’s head shot up at those words, and he felt Jaemin shift immediately to full attention beside him. The announcer cleared his throat, as though trying to quieten down a rowdy crowd, but that wasn't necessary. From one heartbeat to the next, an unnatural stillness settled over the entire room, like a collective intake of breath. Within seconds, every single conversation in the bar had ceased, and the eyes of even the least engaged patrons were now trained on the man with the microphone.</p><p> </p><p>“I think everyone here already knows these two, so they really need no introduction. One is our very own star bartender, and the other has a mean right hook.” A single loud whoop from somewhere near the main bar startled Donghyuck, punctuating the silence in a way that seemed almost irreverent, but then the room fell silent again. He wanted to ask someone what the announcer meant, and why it felt like he was the only person who didn't already know, but then the man was talking again.</p><p> </p><p>“Without further ado, help me in welcoming our favourite brothers to the stage. It’s our very own TY and SC.” For a few moments, the room stayed deathly silent, as Taeyong and Sicheng exchanged places with the announcer and made their way to centre stage. Then, without so much as a warning, the bar erupted into deafening acclamation. As Donghyuck stood and turned to look around, he could see the bartender cheering with abandon, standing right next to the bald man with the dragon neck tattoo. To his surprise, the tattooed man was cheering as well, along with almost every patron in the establishment.</p><p> </p><p>“They are really popular,” Donghyuck murmured to Jaemin. The younger boy didn't seem to hear him, such was the level of noise surrounding them, but it didn't matter. The music began and Donghyuck saw the change in Taeyong’s soulful eyes even before the end of the first note, the innocent, shy man transforming into a honed, lethal machine so quickly that it almost gave him whiplash. Beside him, Sicheng was already lost to the beat and the melody, eyes closed as his fingers twitched in time with the vibrations of the stage beneath his feet.</p><p> </p><p>The noise died down a little as they began to dance, but every eye in the place remained locked on the two men on stage. In mere seconds, it became clear to Donghyuck why that was the case, as the magic on stage began to unfold. Ten and Yuta had been exceptional dancers individually, working with one another to put together a cohesive group performance, but it was as though the two brothers were simply extensions of one another.</p><p> </p><p>Taeyong still had the power and the inherent stage presence that had made him so beloved among fans and idols alike in his reality. Sicheng still had the ethereal beauty and dexterity to his movements that had made him such a joy to watch and train with over their years together. Neither was astronomically different from the artists Donghyuck knew, and yet…</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck could see where Jisung had developed his unique, yet altogether familiar style and artistry from. It had come from both of them, as much as from himself—and, as he had learnt his craft from them, they had learnt it from each other. This Sicheng’s style had a bite and a gravitas that Donghyuck had never seen before, and Taeyong’s movements were elongated and more sinewy than he’d ever imagined possible from the powerful performer.</p><p> </p><p>It was as though they had absorbed the very best of each other—and, to a lesser extent, of Jisung—to create a style entirely their own. As they threw themselves into the routine they had built, they were so in sync that it looked like a solitary being dancing in a mirror, not a single muscle in either of their bodies moving without its partner doing the same. Donghyuck had never seen anything quite like it, in this reality or any other, and suddenly he understood why Ten hadn't seemed that upset to have lost to them so many times. If Donghyuck ever had the pleasure to lose to this, to teamwork this awe-inspiring, he didn't think he’d be that upset either.</p><p> </p><p>“Woah.” This time it was Yukhei who had spoken, his voice carrying over the final strains of the song playing through the speakers above their heads. On stage, Taeyong and Sicheng knelt side by side, chests heaving as they rode the euphoric high of performing. Sicheng’s eyes were open now, his gaze fixed on Taeyong’s face, but his brother’s were tightly shut against the world. Taeyong’s shoulders shook with exertion too, sweat dripping down the arch of his nose and onto the floor, but he didn't move until the very last note ended and the squeal of the microphone signalled the imminent return of the suited announcer.</p><p> </p><p>“That was insane,” Jaemin enthused, as Sicheng helped Taeyong up from the floor of the stage and guided him away down the stage steps, behind the older man now busily explaining the judging system again. Donghyuck tore his eyes away from their retreating backs long enough to look over at the awed boy in the seat next door, nodding mutely. “Did you know they could do that?”</p><p> </p><p>“I—” How could he explain this to someone who had never witnessed the talent he saw from all of these men daily? “They’ve always been amazing to me. Taeyong was one of my biggest role models growing up—he still is, honestly—but no. It was never like that. That was…that was the product of the two of them growing up together, I’d guess. I don't really know what to say.”</p><p> </p><p>As it turned out, he didn't have to say much of anything, because the judges didn't take long to deliberate and deliver their verdict. The groups all returned to the stage in a pale facsimile of the awards shows Donghyuck was well-accustomed to—usually accompanied by some or all of the people currently staring wide-eyed up at the piece of paper in the announcer's hand—and the results were quickly shared.</p><p> </p><p>To no-one's great surprise, Taeyong and Sicheng extended their record as reigning champions, accepting the small envelope of cash with a polite bow and a tight, almost embarrassed smile. Ten was gracious and unstymied as he and his crew stepped forward to accept the applause for second place, and Donghyuck saw him shake hands with Taeyong politely as they stood abreast for the final congratulations. Dejun and Kunhang’s friends, <em> Fusion Project </em>, came in third, which Donghyuck thought was well deserved, and then the showcase was over.</p><p> </p><p>The stagehands started to demolish the stage as quickly as it had gone together, wheeling each piece away into a back area that he couldn’t see clearly from his vantage point, so Donghyuck let himself get swept up in the conversations that erupted around him instead. Renjun and Jeno found them quickly, Renjun tugging Donghyuck into a fierce embrace that said more than it didn’t—much to Jeno’s confusion.</p><p> </p><p>The older boy buried his face into Donghyuck’s shirt, letting Donghyuck show his apology through the way he wrapped his arms around both Renjun and then Jaemin, until none of them could breathe or move for tangled limbs and whispered words of affirmation. Donghyuck let everything he wanted to say to Renjun, everything he <em> had </em> said to Jaemin, bleed into the hug, as Jeno watched from the sidelines, until they were interrupted by the arrival of the maknaes.</p><p> </p><p>“What are you three doing?” Jisung asked coolly, observing them with detached curiosity as Renjun carefully extracted himself from under Jaemin’s left armpit and reached up to finger-comb his hair back into order.</p><p> </p><p>“I wish I knew,” Jeno told him bemusedly, reaching out instinctively to smooth down a stray strand of Renjun’s bangs that he’d missed. “Your guess is as good as mine.” Jisung turned his attention from the three of them to Jeno with a small start, as if he’d only just realised the other boy was there.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know you,” he said slowly, reaching blindly behind him to grab for Chenle, who had just stepped up beside him. Fingers curling around the offered hand, he blinked up at the misleadingly intimidating soccer player and schooled his features into practiced apathy. “Who are you again?”</p><p> </p><p>“Lee Jeno.” Jeno offered Jisung his hand but Jisung ignored it, pulling Chenle closer in beside him for moral support. The Chinese boy wrapped his free arm around Jisung’s waist, squeezing reassuringly, as Jeno’s face morphed into a sweet, disarming smile. “I’m Renjun’s—I mean, I’m a friend of Renjun...and Hyuck and Jaemin.”</p><p> </p><p>“Uh-huh.” Jisung didn't sound convinced, even when Renjun smiled and nodded encouragingly in Jeno’s direction, but he finally took Jeno’s outstretched hand and shook it once. “Nice to meet you, I guess.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sungie?” At the sound of Taeyong’s breathless question, six pairs of eyes shifted to the man’s face as he materialised next to his brother. Jisung visibly relaxed in Taeyong’s presence, the white in his knuckles easing as he loosed his grip around Chenle’s fingers slightly, and he instinctively oriented his entire being to face the older man.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyung.” Jisung smiled, and the cute, affectionate side of the boy resurfaced without warning, like the sun emerging from behind some particularly persistent cloud cover. “You did so good tonight.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks, baby.” Taeyong ghosted a hand over his little brother’s cheek, letting his fingers tracing the boy’s jaw gently, then he eyed his older companions thoughtfully. “I need to go in the backroom and get changed quickly, but I just wanted to make sure you and Chenle were okay first.”</p><p> </p><p>“We’re great, hyung.” Chenle grinned up at Taeyong and the man returned the gesture immediately, despite the obvious weariness visibly embedding itself into every muscle of his slim body as he stood there. “You and Sicheng-hyung were amazing.”</p><p> </p><p>“You really were,” Renjun agreed, and Donghyuck nodded along with his statement. Taeyong looked over at them again, offering a small nod of thanks in return, before clapping a hand down on both of the youngest boys’ shoulders.</p><p> </p><p>“I won’t be long,” he told them, effectively dismissing the other boys present. “Make sure you’re ready to go in ten minutes. We need to get home, because Sicheng-ah has work first thing tomorrow morning.” He didn't wait for a reply, not that one was forthcoming from either of the maknaes, and strode away as quickly as he’d arrived. Once he was gone, Chenle squeezed Jisung’s waist again and started to pull him away.</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s go get our coats, Jisung-ah.”</p><p> </p><p>“Wait!” Donghyuck surprised even himself with the forcefulness of his command, but it had the desired effect. Chenle froze in place, Jisung stumbling to a halt to avoid tripping over his best friend, and Donghyuck took the opportunity to ask the question that had just occurred to him. “Why do you have to leave so soon? Surely your brothers will want to stay for a little while, to talk to their friends.”</p><p> </p><p>“Friends?” Jisung sounded genuinely surprised as he repeated the word, like he wasn't quite sure what it meant. Donghyuck knew that that wasn't the case—the boy plastered to his hip was evidence enough of that—so he figured that something else must be going on. “What do you mean?”</p><p> </p><p>“I mean all the people in the bar who were cheering for them earlier. Taeyong-hyung works here, and everyone seems to know him. Surely he must have friends he talks to after work.” Jisung frowned, so Donghyuck continued. “Everyone loves him, Jisung-ah. Don’t tell me you didn’t notice how much applause they got tonight.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, yes,” Jisung conceded, nose scrunching as he thought hard about what Donghyuck had just said. “People are supportive, I guess, but no one ever actually talks to us.”</p><p> </p><p>“Have you ever stayed around long enough to let them?”</p><p> </p><p>“I—” Jisung’s frown intensified, to the point where Donghyuck started to grow concerned, but then it vanished, leaving only confusion in its place. “I guess not.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hmm.”</p><p> </p><p>As if sensing a suitable gap in conversation, Jisung scurried away with Chenle in his wake. Donghyuck watched them as they found their seats again, collecting up a small pile of coats and bags as they whispered frenetically to one another. Chenle must have said something that struck a nerve, because Jisung shook his head so vehemently it looked almost painful, and then he stalked off in the direction that Taeyong had disappeared.</p><p> </p><p>“Little brother. Little brother’s friends.” Donghyuck pulled his attention from a confused Chenle, stood adrift and alone amongst a seat of chairs and coats, just in time to see Yuta loop a sweaty arm around his neck, pulling him into the front of a damp, black t-shirt. He bit back his protests as the older man quickly released him, grinning down at the group of boys spread out around him. “Enjoy the show?”</p><p> </p><p>“You were on fire tonight, Yuta-hyung,” Jaemin offered helpfully, when Donghyuck took more than a microsecond to respond, and Yuta’s smile grew infinitely broader. He reached a hand out to ruffle Jaemin’s hair, much to the boy’s delight and subsequent embarrassment, and hummed happily.</p><p> </p><p>“It was really fun,” he enthused, gaze travelling over each of them before it settled on something beyond them, across the other side of the room. Donghyuck started to follow it, to see what he was looking at, but was distracted by the indomitable joy in the man’s tone as he spoke again. “I can’t wait to come back and try again next month. Now that I’ve seen the venue and the setup, I have some great ideas for choreo that would absolutely kill here.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re not disappointed?” Donghyuck asked curiously, peering up at the man looming over him. Yuta’s gaze was still firmly fixed on a spot far over Renjun’s head, but he shrugged at the question.</p><p> </p><p>“Not really. Watching Sicheng and his brother dance was...well, I’ve seen him dance before, but the two of them together is something else entirely.” Jeno started to nod, with Jaemin mumbling something that sounded like a half-hearted agreement, but Donghyuck was far more interested in the man he’d just spotted stepping into Yuta’s eye line. Sicheng was standing beside Jisung and Chenle, pulling on his jacket over the tank top he’d been dancing in, and it didn't take more than a glance up at the man beside him to see that Yuta was already lost.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyung?”</p><p> </p><p>“Huh?” Yuta wasn't paying attention anymore, the dismissively vague response proof of that, so Donghyuck waved a hand in front of the man’s face. Yuta blinked, seeming to realise abruptly that he wasn't alone with his thoughts, and dropped his gaze to the insistent boy at his side. “Sorry, Hyuckie. I was just—”</p><p> </p><p>“Hyung, why don't you just go and talk to him?”</p><p> </p><p>“To who?” Yuta had the gall to pretend he didn't know who Donghyuck was talking about, like he hadn't just been caught red-handed staring wistfully at Dong Sicheng from across a crowded bar full of his closest friends, but the younger boy just rolled his eyes and stared him down. Eventually, Yuta sighed and shook his head.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not that easy. I can’t just march on over there, little brother.” His gaze flicked back up to the man in question, and he pointed meaningfully in Sicheng’s direction. “His brother just turned up—the older one—and I don’t want to interrupt them if they’re busy.”</p><p> </p><p>Remembering Jisung’s words, as well as Jungwoo’s cryptic teasing from earlier, Donghyuck smiled encouragingly up at Yuta and patted his forearm supportively. “I can guarantee that he’s not too busy for you, hyung. Go talk to him!”</p><p> </p><p>“What about Taeyong-ssi?” Yuta asked, still hesitant but eyeing the path towards the object of his interest thoughtfully. “I can’t just ask him to wait patiently while I flirt shamelessly with his brother, can I?”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, so it is flirting?” Donghyuck smirked, and Yuta groaned in defeat.</p><p> </p><p>“Shut up, Hyuckie.”</p><p> </p><p>“Not sorry.” Glancing around quickly, Donghyuck spotted the person he was looking for just a few paces away, chatting animatedly with his brother and Taeil. Assured that he wouldn't be too difficult to extract at short notice, Donghyuck turned his attention back to Yuta triumphantly. “Go get your flirt on, hyung,” he told him mischievously. “Leave Taeyong-hyung to me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay.” Yuta didn't sound convinced, but he flashed Donghyuck a bright smile anyway. “Remember, I trust you, little brother.” He took a deep breath, not taking his eyes from Donghyuck’s face for a long moment, then he left and started to make his way over to the other side of the room, where Sicheng stood with his family as they prepared to leave.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyuck, what exactly do you plan on doing?” Renjun asked, as soon as Yuta was out of earshot. Donghyuck grinned, making eye contact with Dongyoung over Jaehyun’s shoulder, and sidestepped several stray chairs deftly. He’d already heard enough of the couple’s bizarre and often awkward dating exploits over the past month to know that his plan would work. He just needed to put them on a collision course, and let the universe do the rest.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m going to give Taeyong-hyung the one thing he can’t say no to,” he told Renjun matter of factly. “Dongyoung-hyung.”</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Fifteen minutes later, Donghyuck returned to his friends after congratulating himself on a job well done. Taeyong was by the bar with Dongyoung, enjoying a non-alcoholic drink courtesy of his attentive—and all too eager to assist, once he heard the plan—boyfriend. As a result, Yuta was somewhere near the storeroom with Sicheng, embarrassing the poor man with some truly tragic chat up lines that Donghyuck wasn’t convinced Sicheng fully understood. Personally, Donghyuck thought he’d be better off if he didn’t understand, but the end result was the same regardless. Yuta was happy, Sicheng was flustered, and Dongyoung and Taeyong were disgustingly cute together.</p><p> </p><p>“What did I miss?” he asked, as he slid into the seat immediately in front of Renjun, tucking his legs up and under his thighs so that he could turn his body around in the chair to face the others. Renjun was flanked by Jeno and Jaemin on either side, both angled in towards him like metallic objects pulled towards a common magnetic field, and Renjun had a hand resting lightly on each of their knees.</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck didn't think Renjun had noticed, from the way that he didn't even flinch at Donghyuck’s return. Instead, he just glanced up at his best friend, staring at him with unfocused, bleary eyes, the fingers resting on Jeno’s leg curling into a fist around the fabric of his jeans as he yawned sleepily.</p><p> </p><p>“Tired, Injunie?” Donghyuck asked with a soft chuckle, noting how Jaemin’s eyelids were already starting to droop as he tried futilely to stay upright. His head was already dangerously close to Renjun’s shoulder, like gravity was pulling him that way by default, and, as Donghyuck watched, it touched down and stayed there. Renjun didn't react to that either, except to lean back slightly to give Jaemin a more comfortable angle to sleep, and then went still again.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.” Jeno’s head lifted slightly at the sound of Renjun’s voice, before he let his gaze fall back into his lap, like looking up was too much effort to muster. A small smile played across Jeno’s lips as he stared at Renjun’s fingers, playing distractedly with a loose thread at the seam of his jeans, and Donghyuck suddenly felt like he was intruding on something far more intimate than he had previously realised.</p><p> </p><p>“I, uh—I’m going to go find Jaehyun-hyung,” he told the three of them softly, trying not to raise his voice too much. Only Renjun reacted, with just a small nod of his head, and Donghyuck stood slowly, not wanting to disturb the sleepy, harmonious scene before him. He stared down at his friends for a fleeting moment, trying to imprint the image into his long-term memory, and then started to side-step out of the row of chairs again. “I’ll let him know we’re leaving, and then I’ll take you guys back to the house. I think we could all do with some sleep.”</p><p> </p><p>As he walked away, easily spotting Jaehyun exactly where he had left him just a few minutes earlier, Donghyuck glanced back over his shoulder just in time to see Jeno’s head drop onto Renjun’s shoulder directly across from Jaemin. Faltering for a moment, Donghyuck was struck by an overwhelming sense of rightness as he took in the three of them huddled together. In his reality, they had always been close, right from the very first day that Renjun had moved into the dorm, but this was more than that.</p><p> </p><p>The two outermost boys were twin planets, revolving inexorably around Renjun’s blazing, all-encompassing star. They were on a collision course, not just with him but with each other, and yet they were the only ones who still couldn’t see it. Donghyuck knew that Renjun was still holding back, still hesitating from taking that next step, and he was reminded, once again, of his resolution to give them that last push that they so desperately needed.</p><p> </p><p>His plans tonight might have fallen through, leaving him hopelessly adrift in doubt, and in the endless sea of theories as to how, if ever, he would return home. He might not be able to help himself yet, and he might still have a lot to work left to do deep inside his soul—especially with regards to the selfish behaviour he’d been so shocked by tonight—but that didn't mean that everyone else needed to remain as stagnant as he was.</p><p> </p><p>His friends just needed a push, he reminded himself, stepping up between Jaehyun and Taeil as they moved to incorporate him into their conversation intuitively. They weren't going to do it for themselves, so he was going to have to do it for them—soon. For now, until he could figure out what his next steps were, they would become his priority. If he couldn't have his happy ending, he would make sure they had their chance. If he couldn't find his happiness, he’d help his friends to find theirs.</p><p> </p><p>For now, that would be enough.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>As ever, I'd love to know your thoughts. We're heading towards a very specific point in the story right now (you know the one, even if you don't know what's waiting for us at the other end), but getting us there hasn't exactly been the easiest journey. Thankfully, we're almost there now, and you've all been absolute saints with your patience and enduring support. I love you all! :)</p><p>As always, have a wonderful day! &lt;3</p><p> </p><p>  <strong>TWO</strong></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0043"><h2>43. Chapter 43</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A weekday chapter? Yeah, I know. I'm as surprised as you are.</p><p>I usually write these in one long sitting, hence why I often finish editing in the early hours of the morning, but this one took four days. I had a very specific vision in my head for how it was going to go, and it took a lot of rewrites to get it there, but I think I'm finally happy with it.</p><p>I may also have edited this during a company-wide virtual staff meeting this afternoon, because I actually couldn't wait any longer to get it out, so I hope you enjoy! &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>In hindsight, Jaemin probably should have figured out something was going on </span>
  <em>
    <span>before</span>
  </em>
  <span> he found himself locked inside the art studio on Thursday afternoon, fifteen minutes after every other student had already left for the day. Donghyuck had—uncharacteristically, now that Jaemin gave it more than a fleeting thought—volunteered their group to help tidy up the storage cupboard towards the back of the studio, claiming that it would be a good bonding exercise.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d reluctantly agreed, especially when his three other friends had all done the same—with varying degrees of enthusiasm, because not much fazed Yukhei when he was in a good mood—and had gotten to work restacking boxes of paint onto the shelving units that lined one wall of the small box room. He’d been so focused on the task that, initially, he hadn't even registered the shout of surprise from Renjun, followed by the slamming of a door somewhere nearby.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In fact, it wasn't until he heard Jeno calling his name that he shifted his attention from the box of powder paints at his feet, wiping his dusty fingers off onto the seat of his school trousers as he straightened up from a crouch. Frowning at the mild alarm in Jeno’s voice, he stuck his head out from inside the cupboard and immediately found two fewer people in the art studio than he’d been expecting.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyuck, let me out!” Renjun was over by the other door, the one that led through to the hallway outside, and he was banging furiously on it with a trembling fist. Jeno stood somewhere between the two of them looking vaguely constipated, although he smiled kindly at Jaemin when they made eye contact. “This isn’t what I meant and you know it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s going on?” Jaemin asked, eyes flicking rapidly from Renjun to Jeno and back as he spoke. Through the partially-frosted glass panel in the door, Jaemin could see a vaguely Donghyuck-shaped silhouette, backlit from behind, which he assumed was the object of Renjun’s ire. Jeno just shrugged, confusion evident in the way his lips pressed tightly together and his brows furrowed under Jaemin’s questioning gaze.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No idea, but I think Renjun does.” Jaemin was inclined to believe him, as the boy in question pounded furiously on the closed door again, repeating his futile protests a second time. Through the glass, he saw the silhouette slowly shake its head, and then Donghyuck’s muffled voice floated in through the barrier between them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You asked me to give you a push, Injun-ah,” Donghyuck said calmly, sounding for all the world like trapping three of his friends inside a classroom together was normal friend behaviour. Jaemin wondered for a moment if this was a prank, some weird, misguided plot that Donghyuck and Renjun had concocted to try to scare him and Jeno, but then Renjun groaned heavily and he quickly reevaluated that theory. It was a pained sound, one that tugged instinctually at Jaemin’s heartstrings, and he knew then that Renjun wasn't faking anything.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyuck, I can’t—” Renjun broke off with a small sob, breath hitching bitterly in his throat, and Jaemin saw Jeno take a step towards him, arms outstretched. He made it less than two paces, however, before Renjun rallied and continued to speak. “I can’t do this. I’m not brave enough.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, I’m really confused…” From somewhere out in the corridor, Jaemin heard Yukhei’s bewildered exclamation, before it was swiftly silenced as Donghyuck disappeared from view for a moment. There was a tiny, distant yelp of indignation, then the figure reappeared, one hand pressed to the glass in front of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Injunie,” Donghyuck said slowly, making sure that Renjun had time to process every single word. “You’re one of the bravest people I know. You’ve carried this with you for so long, but it’s time to take the leap. You deserve to be happy.” Renjun seemed to freeze in place, the room so silent that Jaemin thought he would have heard a pin drop, but then he slowly lifted his hand to place it over the shadow of Donghyuck’s palm on the glass.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What if—?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No what-ifs. Not this time, my friend.” Donghyuck’s tone was almost harsh as he spoke, and Jaemin couldn't quite believe that he was acting that way. However, it seemed to be what Renjun needed to hear, because he nodded and let his shoulders slump in defeat. “The lock is on your side, Renjun-ah,” Donghyuck continued. “The power is all yours. If you ask me to, I’ll open this door right now, but you and I both know that you’ll regret it if I do. Okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” Renjun’s voice was so small as he spoke that Jaemin almost missed it, but then the older boy turned to face them, wrapping his arms around himself like he was suddenly afraid to be in their presence. His gaze caressed Jaemin’s face momentarily, the vulnerability in his eyes so visceral that it almost took his breath away, and then landed on Jeno with resounding finality.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Renjun-ah.” Jeno didn't sound confused anymore, Jaemin noted. Instead, he sounded resigned, hesitant and—was that the faintest trace of hope in his eyes, or was Jaemin seeing things? He couldn't be sure, but then Jeno smiled at Renjun and it was like watching a man willingly surrendering to his own death. Whatever Jeno was thinking, he had completely come to terms with it, and was now just waiting for the universe to deal its hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jeno-yah,” Renjun echoed, returning the smile shyly. Jaemin had never seen that particular smile on Renjun’s lips before, and he experienced a sharp stab of jealousy deep in his gut before he forced it away. He’d come to terms with his friends’ relationship weeks ago, he reminded himself. Whatever this was—and Jaemin still wasn't sure—that hadn't changed. He needed to get over himself, so that he could continue to build and solidify his friendships with both of them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I, uh…” Jeno trailed off unexpectedly, turning to look Jaemin in the eye. “I’ll try to give you two some privacy. This would have been so much easier if Hyuck had just let me in on what he was planning beforehand. I could have waited out in the hall.” His gaze swept the room quickly, like he was trying to figure out somewhere to hide in the enclosed space filled with desks, chairs and art supplies, before he settled on the open storage room door behind him. He offered both of them another small, tight smile, and then hurried over to it. “I’ll be in my office. Call me if you—Never mind.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Clearly deciding not to finish that sentence, Jeno pulled the cupboard door closed behind him and sealed himself inside, leaving Jaemin and Renjun alone in the empty classroom. Renjun still hovered near the door, shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the other, whereas Jaemin felt like the soles of his shoes had been permanently welded to the floor. He met Renjun’s eye, surprised to see genuine fear reflected back at him, and finally realised what all this must be about.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Whatever it was, Renjun had been reluctant to talk to him about it, that much was obvious. Jeno and Donghyuck both knew what it was, which meant that it was something that also concerned at least one of them. Jaemin was the last to know, as always, and the look on Renjun’s face told him that it was likely to be something that would break his heart.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin quickly put two and two together and came up with the only logical explanation. As hard as he’d tried to push aside his feelings for his best friend, as determined as he’d been to be happy for him and Jeno, it had clearly not been enough. Renjun had still been able to see it, despite his best efforts. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Everyone</span>
  </em>
  <span> had probably been able to see it—including Jeno, who was, even now, trying to give them their privacy, like the selfless person he’d proved himself to be time and time again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin couldn't imagine anyone he’d be content to see Renjun fall in love with other than himself, but, as people-who-weren’t-him went, Jeno was one of the very best. Jaemin wanted Renjun to be happy, as he’d said to the older boy all those weeks ago in the hallway outside his childhood bedroom. If that was with Jeno, he’d told Renjun, then Jaemin would support him. He’d meant it too, as tough as that had been to manifest, but it hadn’t erased the way he felt. He’d tried so hard since then to hide his feelings away, so that he wouldn’t make either of them uncomfortable around him, but evidently, he’d failed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I understand,” he whispered into the stillness, when Renjun didn't speak. The older boy still hadn't made eye contact with him, which made the ache in Jaemin’s chest feel more like a gaping, festering sore, but he couldn't blame him. It had to be tough to tell one of your best friends that you didn't want them in your life anymore, he thought bitterly. Renjun would be hurting enough already, having to cut him loose, and looking at him as he did it would make everything worse for both of them. In a way—a sick, twisted way that threatened to destroy a part of his soul—Jaemin was grateful for the detachment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You do?” The vulnerability leached from Renjun like a wrung sponge, cloying in the air between them. The older boy blinked once, eyes still firmly fixed on a spot on the floor at Jaemin’s feet, and hugged himself tighter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course.” Every word felt like acid on his tongue, and like bile dousing the sensitive lining of his throat, but Jaemin forced himself not to cry. He wouldn’t burden Renjun with that, no matter how much it hurt. He could be strong, right up until Renjun and Jeno left together with Donghyuck and Yukhei, like one big, happy family, and Jaemin was alone. Only then would he break. Only then would he mourn what he was about to lose.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay, Renjun-ssi.” The older boy’s head snapped up and their eyes met, confusion at his use of the detached formality evident in Renjun’s gaze, but he didn't interrupt. Jaemin pressed on, wanting to get this over with as soon as possible. “You should have told me earlier.” Something akin to relief flickered across Renjun’s face for a split second, before vanishing faster than Jaemin would have thought possible as he continued. “I’ll keep my distance. Find a different table at lunch; swap desks with someone in homeroom. You won’t even know I’m there. I promise.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He smiled, gritting his teeth against the agony in his chest, and almost believed his own words. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Almost</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“NaNa!” The name tore from Renjun’s lips like a prayer, the force of it hitting him like he’d been shot, and Jaemin cringed. Renjun still had no idea what that nickname did to him, especially falling from Renjun’s lips, and Jaemin bit back a cry. He couldn't break. Not now. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>wouldn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span>. “What are you talking about?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t want to be friends with me anymore.” It was oddly cathartic to say the words, even in the midst of the breakdown he could feel brewing inside. The simplicity and absolute nature of the statement was easy to process, and the way it hung in the air between them left little room for equivocation. “I can’t stop loving you, so it’s easier for me to just walk away. I make you uncomforta—</span>
  <em>
    <span>oof!</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin rocked back on his heels, arms coming up instinctively to protect himself from the impact, as Renjun launched himself into his arms. One second, the boy was near the door, those hauntingly beautiful eyes watching Jaemin with trepidation. The next, Renjun was barrelling headfirst into his solar plexus, almost knocking them both to the ground.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin took a small step back, steadying himself, as his arms encircled the smaller boy and Renjun’s face burrowed deep into his shirt. He could feel the sting of hot tears spreading through the thin material of his shirt beneath Renjun’s cheek, cooling rapidly as they came into contact with his overheated skin, but he ignored them. Instead, he held on for dear life, knowing that this hug with the boy he loved might very well be his last.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please don’t cry,” he whispered, letting one of his hands curve tenderly around the back of Renjun’s neck, fingers kneading gently into the soft hairs at his nape. “It’s okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun was shaking violently now, fists clutching at Jaemin’s shirt, and the younger boy had to resist the urge to press his lips down into Renjun’s hair. Renjun wasn't his, Jaemin had to remind himself, no matter how much he wished that were true. This was goodbye. Nothing more.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaemin, you can’t leave me. Promise that you won’t leave me!” Renjun’s voice was muffled by the shirt, and by the moisture clogging his nose and throat, but Jaemin wouldn’t mistake that voice for anything. It was the one he heard in his dreams, the one that filled his every waking hour, and he thought he’d recognise it anywhere. “Please!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I won’t,” Jaemin insisted, pulling Renjun tighter into him until the two were flush, chest to chest and breathing in almost perfect rhythm. Renjun’s breaths were shakier, uneven and interspersed with small gasps, but he seemed to relax infinitesimally at the gesture. “Not unless you want me to. I—I thought that’s what you wanted.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Never. I love you, NaNa.” Again, Jaemin winced at the nickname, but tried not to let his body stiffen against Renjun’s. No matter how much it hurt to hear it, he would take the pain a thousand times over, if it meant that Renjun would stay like this—stay with him. Renjun took a deep breath, then lifted his head. His eyes were red and bloodshot, the skin around them puffy and raw, but he still managed to look more beautiful than anyone Jaemin had ever met. “I—I love you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love you too.” Jaemin blinked down at his friend, wondering where this sudden outpouring of emotion was coming from. He’d been convinced just seconds earlier that Renjun was done with him for good, and he still wasn't entirely convinced that wasn't the case, but the way that Renjun looked at him now was almost...desperate.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, you don’t understand.” Renjun stepped back, forcing Jaemin to release him. The younger boy clenched his fingers tightly into fists at his sides, to resist the urge to reach out for him again, but Renjun didn't seem to notice. His gaze was fixed on Jaemin’s face, a vast ocean away from how he’d been avoiding eye contact before. “Jaemin-ah, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>love</span>
  </em>
  <span> you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For a second, all Jaemin could do was stare at him, at the tears still dripping hot and salty down Renjun’s streaked cheeks as his lashes clung to one another. If he wasn't the most unfortunate being in the universe, he might have believed that there was something more to Renjun’s words than the truth, that Renjun meant them the way Jaemin longed for him to mean them, but reality wasn't that kind. Renjun loved him, yes, but Renjun also loved Donghyuck the same way. He would never love Jaemin the way that Jaemin loved him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t understand,” he said finally, when he realised that he wasn't going to be able to discern anything more from observation alone. His thumbs swiped at Renjun’s cheeks, coming away slick with moisture, and he took another deliberate step back. He needed to put some distance between them, to allow himself to breathe and to regain perspective. He couldn't let himself fall apart again, not with his friend—Renjun’s boyfriend—just a cupboard door away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck. I knew I wasn't going to do this right,” Renjun bit out, surprising him from his thoughts. Jaemin wondered momentarily if it was him that Renjun was angry at, until the older boy smacked a shaking hand down onto his thigh in frustration. Taking another deep breath, before blowing out the air in a huff, Renjun fixed him with a determined stare and took a step forward, closing the newfound distance between them. “I need to tell you something, Jaemin, and I need you to hear me out before you say anything. Okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun nodded at that, sucking his bottom lip in through his teeth momentarily as he seemed to gather his thoughts. Then he sighed, glancing away, and the previous anger and frustration drained away. “I love you, Jaemin-ah. You already know that I love you, even though I don’t tell you nearly often enough. You're my best friend; you and Hyuck, you both mean the world to me. Only, unlike Donghyuck, that’s not all you are to me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A wise person suggested once that I should imagine what the world might look like without you in it. And I tried, more times than I’d care to admit. I just couldn’t do it.” He smiled weakly. “After that, it took me a while, and help from some very smart, very patient people, but I finally realised something I should have known a long time ago. My life without you in it; there’s just nothing. Me, without you, is unimaginable, Jaemin-ah.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You make me smile every day, even when it feels like everything else around me is falling apart. I know we bicker a lot, and I know that I’m not always the best when it comes to treating you right, but it’s because I feel more comfortable being myself around you than just about anyone.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You treat me fi—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please?” At the desperation in Renjun’s voice, Jaemin let the reassurance that had been on the tip of his tongue die away, lapsing back into stunned silence. Renjun took another step closer, lifting one hand to place it almost impossibly lightly over Jaemin’s heart. The frantic thrumming of the organ beneath his shirt must have been evident through the contact, but Renjun didn't seem to care.</span>
</p><p> </p><p><span>“I should have told you this weeks ago. Hell, I should have</span> <span>realised</span> <span>it </span><em><span>years</span></em><span> ago, but I was stupidly blind to how I felt before. Jaemin, I don’t just love you. I don’t just want to be your friend. I’m </span><em><span>in love</span></em><span> with you. I love you more than I thought it was possible to love anyone, and I really need you to know that. Even if you’ve changed your mind, or—”</span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re in love with me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn't know what Renjun saw in his expression as he looked up, meeting Jaemin’s eye properly for the first time since he’d started his confession, but the hesitation in the older boy’s eyes had him reaching out, pulling Renjun into him again. This time, Renjun’s cheek came to rest over his breastbone, right next to the hand that hadn't yet moved from its spot over his heart, as Jaemin’s fingers found themselves at the other boy’s hips, pressing into the gentle curve of Renjun’s waist like he was afraid that he would disappear if he let go.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I am.” Renjun’s voice was still weak, like it was taking a lot of effort just to force the words out, but it felt like he’d used a megaphone as the meaning resonated through the silence surrounding them. Jaemin was still struggling to make sense of the tangle of thoughts and emotions trying to force their way to the forefront of his mind, so he settled on something that he hoped was simple and tangible.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What does this mean for us?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin lifted one hand to brush the mess of stray hairs out of Renjun’s eyes, before tucking his fingers under the boy’s chin. Pressing gently, he lifted it until Renjun was looking him directly in the eye again. “I mean, what happens now? I know I’m still half expecting to wake up from a dream right about now, but real life isn’t quite as simple as that.” Renjun let out a small noise of protest, but Jaemin silenced him with a small, affectionate smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hear me out. It’s not that crazy, considering the wild dreams I’ve had about you in the past, but let’s forget about that for a minute.” He brushed a single, fresh tear away from Renjun’s cheek as it broke free from his lashes, and then let his thumb linger over the spot. “I love you too, Renjunie. I have for about as long as I’ve known you—you already know that—but you have a boyfriend. Jeno’s my friend, and I know he loves you too. I don’t want to—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun opened his mouth, as though he was about to protest something Jaemin had just said, when a loud crashing noise from inside the storage room wrenched their attention from each other to the closed door behind them. A few seconds later, Jaemin heard Jeno let out a string of muffled curses, before he fell ominously silent again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jeno?” Jaemin called hesitantly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay?” As inopportune a time for interruption as this was, Jaemin didn’t particularly want the boy to die of solvent inhalation from whatever paint he’d likely just knocked over, so he reluctantly detached himself from Renjun and headed over to the cupboard door. “Are you hurt or something?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh, no,” Jeno insisted, mildly hysterical voice drifting out to them from the thin gap under the door. “This room is just not quite as soundproof as I’d been hoping it would be.” A second later, the door creaked loudly as it swung open, as though the very wood it was made from was reluctant to involve itself in the ensuing conversation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jeno stepped sheepishly back out into the art studio, cheeks and ears a fetching shade of shame and embarrassment as he tried hard to avoid eye contact with either of the two boys in the room. Instead, he quickly set a collision course for the door guarded by Donghyuck, turning his back on the pair. “I’m sure, if I ask nicely, Hyuck or Xuxi-hyung will let me out. I shouldn't be in here for this—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is he right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jeno froze, foot hovering in midair for a beat too long before it impacted the linoleum with excessive force. He turned slowly, looking back at Renjun over his shoulder like he was afraid he might spook a prey animal in the wild if he moved too quickly. “Is he right about what?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you love me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For a second it didn't seem like Jeno was going to respond, but then he sighed, reaching for the chair that was nearest to him. Pulling it out from under the desk, he spun it around to face them and sank into it heavily. Resting his elbows on the seatback, he let his chin drop onto his forearms and fixed Renjun with a resigned look. “Yes, it is.” Renjun’s mouth dropped open and he let out a small, strangled gasp, but Jeno pressed on regardless. “This is not exactly how I imagined you finding out, but yes. I love you.” His gaze shifted for an instant to Jaemin’s face, and then back. “In fact, for what it’s worth, it would be more accurate to say that I’m in love with you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin didn't speak, not that he would have known what to say even if he had felt like it was his place to do so. He was still reeling from the revelation that Renjun had dropped on him just moments earlier, but that was nothing compared to the wrench that Jeno had just jammed into the works. He hadn't even had time yet to fantasise about what Renjun’s confession might mean for the two of them—somehow, the years of pining and sleepless nights had done little to prepare him for reality—and now it was being ripped away from him again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knew he couldn’t ask Renjun to choose between the two of them. That wasn't fair to him, and it certainly wasn't fair to Jeno. They both had feelings for each other, that much was obvious in the way that they seemed to gravitate towards each other in every room and scenario they found themselves in. It was similar to the way that he and Renjun had often seemed to coalesce, even if Jaemin had always believed that that was just because they were friends. He’d accepted it for what it was at the time, grateful that he was still allowed to continue to remain in orbit, but he would be a fool now if he thought he was the only one who felt that way.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jeno…” Renjun reached out to the side blindly, fingers finding the edge of a table before he stumbled over to it. He didn't sit, choosing instead to lean against it for support, but Jaemin didn't miss the way that the motion put even more space between him and Renjun, until the three of them occupied the corners of an almost perfectly proportioned equilateral triangle. The universe had an odd sense of symmetry, Jaemin mused to himself, as he waited for Renjun to sort through his thoughts. “I’m sorry. I never intended it to happen like this.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay, Renjun-ah,” Jeno said calmly, as though reassuring a small child. “I already told you where I stand. None of this changes anything for me.” He smiled then, and the sheer force of it almost made Jaemin do the same. “It’s all up to you two now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not that simple, Jeno-yah,” Renjun started to say, but Jeno just lifted his head and cocked one eyebrow in challenge.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why not?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s just not!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sensing an opportunity, Jaemin chose that moment to reenter the conversation, raising his hand a little above his head to attract the attention of the two boys now staring intently at one another. “I’m lost. What’s not that simple?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dating both of us,” Jeno told him bluntly. Renjun let out another tiny squeak of mortification and buried his face into his hands, but Jeno had apparently boarded a train that was impossible to derail. “He loves you. He likes me too—not as much as he likes you, not yet, but enough to give me a chance. I’ve already told him that if he likes both of us, he should just date us both. If he changes his mind later on, so be it, but why should he be forced to choose?” He turned his attention back to Renjun, who was now watching Jaemin’s face through the tiny gaps between his fingers. “As long as that’s still what you want, I want you to be with whoever makes you happy, Renjun-ah.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he put it that way, it sounded so simple, Jaemin thought detachedly, as he tried to wade through the logic laced into Jeno’s words. After all, he’d told himself so many times that, if Jeno made Renjun happy, he’d stand aside. Would it be such a huge leap to stand side by side with Jeno instead, if that was what Renjun really wanted?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaemin was aware that relationships like this were possible; he didn't live under a rock, after all, and the internet existed. However, until this afternoon, he couldn’t have even imagined Renjun actually returning his feelings, feelings that had, for so long, been unrequited, let alone stumbling into something this complicated. He knew that it would be a huge challenge—perhaps even an insurmountable one—to make this work, if he was willing to give it a shot, but it all came down to one simple question.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Was Renjun worth it?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The answer came to him instantaneously, at the exact moment that something Jeno had just said struck him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>As long as that’s still what you want…</span>
  </em>
  <span> He knew that the two of them had to have discussed their relationship before, on that first date all those weeks back, but his words made it sound like they’d discussed Jaemin too. He wondered if that had anything to do with their second date still being perpetually on hold. Had they been...waiting for him?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What is it that you want, Renjun-ah?” The words left his lips before he had time to fully think through the consequences, but, once they were out into the world, they just felt right.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I—” Renjun curled his fingers into fists under his chin, finally exposing his face to the two boys expectantly awaiting his response. His gaze landed on Jeno for a long moment, the younger boy nodding encouragingly, before he met Jaemin’s eyes once more. “I just want you to be happy, NaNa.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oddly, the nickname didn't hurt so much anymore, Jaemin realised, as he stared unflinchingly at the beautiful boy he’d loved since middle school. As Renjun met his gaze and held it, he felt a swell of scorching certainty building in his chest, and knew without a doubt that their next words would completely change his life, for better or for worse.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, Injunie,” he said firmly. “You make me happy just by being you. Right now, though, I need you to tell me what you </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> want. Whatever it is, I can handle it. Please trust me to be able to make my own choices.” Renjun’s eyes widened, bottom lip trembling slightly as he stared at Jaemin in disbelief, but then he nodded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want you.” Jaemin didn't move, didn't let that admission overwhelm him, sensing that Renjun wasn't done. “A—and I want him.” Renjun blinked and another tear escaped from the corner of each of his eyelids. “I </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> that I can’t have both of you, but…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay?” Renjun’s eyes snapped open, his head lifting to seek out the truth in Jaemin’s face. Even Jeno looked mildly shocked, like he hadn't actually been expecting Jaemin to agree, but the younger boy just shrugged and flashed them both a cautious smile. With that, the very last traces of trepidation and hesitation melted away, leaving Jaemin with nothing but hope and determination. He wasn't sure that science was completely on his side in his belief that an earnest smile could help soothe all fears, but he was more than willing to give it a chance.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m willing to try, if you both are.” Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Jeno lean forward in his chair, and turned to see him more clearly. “I’m not sure how all this will work in practice, but do you think you can live with that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure I’ll manage,” Jeno agreed with a laugh, crinkling his nose as his eyes disappeared into his smile. “I already had the biggest crush on you in our final year of elementary school. Thirteen-year-old me is shitting himself right now, but I think I’ll be fine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Same,” Jaemin blurted, without thinking. When Jeno’s eyes widened, he tried to backtrack, but it was too late. “I mean...I, uh, had a crush on you back then too. Because of you, I figured out I liked boys way before I even knew what the word gay meant.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Huh.” Jaemin thought Jeno would elaborate, but the boy’s eyes landed on Renjun instead, still clinging to the desk behind him like it was a liferaft in a storm. Jeno’s expression softened into something impossibly compassionate, and then he stood abruptly. Turning on his heel, he strode over to the door to the classroom and rapped his knuckles sharply against the glass. “Hyuck, I know you’re still there. Let me out.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The door swung out into the hallway less than a second later, and Jeno let his hands swing freely at his hip as he glanced back at Renjun and Jaemin over his shoulder. “I’ll leave you two to talk for a few minutes alone,” he said kindly. “Then, whenever you’re ready, we can figure out the rest from there.” His lips twitched, as though he desperately wanted to smile again but was forcing his cheek muscles not to comply with the urge. “Until then, I’ll wait as long as you need me to.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As the door clicked shut again, Jaemin turned his back on it and the chair Jeno had just vacated, angling his body until Renjun was all he could see. The older boy was still leaning against the desk, half sitting on it now as he stared up at Jaemin mutely. He looked dazed, like he couldn't quite believe what had just happened, and so he didn't notice Jaemin had moved until the younger boy towered over him, shadowing part of his face with his proximity.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“NaNa,” Renjun whispered. He didn't stand, choosing to just slump forward into the other boy’s chest, but Jaemin got the message. For the third time that afternoon, Jaemin tenderly wrapped Renjun into his arms and eased his fingers into the boy’s hair, massaging gently. Renjun didn't say anything for a long time, content to just be held and to feel Jaemin’s heart beating against his own, but Jaemin wasn't complaining. He didn't think he could imagine anything he wanted more in that moment, as he pulled Renjun even more tightly into him. If Renjun—and Jeno—would allow it, he’d happily stay like this with him forever.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you really okay with all of this?” He couldn't be sure if it was hours, or just a few minutes later, but when he felt Renjun shift against him, he stepped back to give the older boy space. Renjun kept a firm grip on his arm, but let him go, until they were connected only by a tangle of fingers between their outstretched hands. He stared up at Jaemin, gaze more assertive than it had been in far too long.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I am,” Jaemin promised, squeezing Renjun’s hand reassuringly. “I wouldn’t have said yes if I wasn't.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If that ever changes, promise me that you’ll let me know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I will.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He let his gaze drift from Renjun’s eyes down to his mouth, as the older boy worried his lower lip between his teeth again, and all logical thought swiftly fled from Jaemin's brain. All of a sudden, Jaemin became acutely aware of how alone they were, how close Renjun was and how many times he’d fantasised about this exact moment in his head. Renjun loved him, really</span>
  <em>
    <span> loved</span>
  </em>
  <span> him, and the truth of that confession was written all over his face. Jaemin had just agreed to something that made his head spin and his heart pound, but Renjun was here and his fingers were so warm and familiar in Jaemin’s own.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can I—?” He knew he was pushing the fickle hands of fortune to their limits, at this point, but he had to ask.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can you what?” Renjun’s cheeks flushed delicately, as his gaze followed the same path as Jaemin’s had, but he was apparently still going to make the younger boy spell it out for him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can I kiss you?” When Renjun froze, lips parted slightly in shock, Jaemin wondered if he’d grossly misinterpreted the situation. “O—or not, if you don’t want t—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Without warning, Renjun surged forward off his perch on the table and up onto the balls of his feet. Jaemin caught him mid-stride, leaning down just a little so that their lips met in the middle. It was barely a brush of skin against skin, as Renjun’s arms came up to circle Jaemin’s neck and pull him down even further, but his eyelids fluttered shut on instinct. It was awkward, wholly unsophisticated, and hesitant on both sides, but, as Renjun pulled away, Jaemin didn't think he would trade it for anything in the world.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is this okay?” Renjun whispered, their faces just millimetres from each other. Jaemin felt his warm breath ghosting over his lips as the boy spoke, and let out a soft sigh at the way that it seemed to ignite all of his nerve endings simultaneously. Renjun must have taken that as confirmation because his lips were suddenly on Jaemin’s again, and the world around them fell away into insignificance. This was perfect; Renjun was perfect and, suddenly, nothing else mattered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah, Jeno-yah. I feel like such a proud mama bear right now…” Startled by the unexpected interruption, Renjun pulled away instinctively at the sound of Donghyuck’s voice, and Jaemin wanted to groan in frustration as Jeno’s rebuke filtered in through the closed studio door a second later.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shut up, Hyuck. They can probably hear you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The door’s not that thin.” Donghyuck had the gall to sound mildly offended.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Donghyuck, think about it. If we can hear them, then I’m sure they can hear us too!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For a second, in the ensuing silence, Jaemin thought that Renjun was trembling again, but then the older boy let out a sharp bark of laughter and threw his head back. The muscles in his arms contracted under Jaemin’s fingers as he did so, the bright sound filling the room around them with irresistible energy, and then Donghyuck piped up again, this time sounded a lot more subdued.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oops.” There was a pregnant pause, and then a sigh. “Sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Talk about killing the mood,” Jaemin muttered, dropping his forehead onto Renjun’s shoulder unceremoniously. The other boy was still shaking with soundless giggles, but he still managed to reach up and pat Jaemin placatingly on the head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’ve got all the time in the world now, NaNa,” Renjun told him, and Jaemin couldn't help the smile that crept across his face at that. He still couldn't quite believe that it was the truth, even now, but the way his stomach started to perform complicated flips in his abdomen told him that his brain wasn't in full control anymore.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know.” Jaemin lifted his head to press his lips to Renjun’s one more time, revelling in the way that the shorter boy melted into his touch, and then straightened up reluctantly. “As much as I want us to stay like this forever, we need to go home eventually and the others are waiting for us.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun looked like he wanted to protest, but then he loosed his vice-like grip on Jaemin’s collar and stepped back. “I love you, Jaemin-ah,” he said softly, the words a resolute promise for only his ears.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love you too, Renjun-ah.” Jaemin smiled again, straightening the crumpled fabric of his shirt a little, before turning to face the closed door that loomed large behind them. “You guys can come in now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>To his surprise, it was Jeno who opened the door this time, stepping into the room but leaving the door open as he did so. Jaemin could see Donghyuck hovering just behind him, peering around Jeno’s shoulder almost warily—like he wasn't quite sure yet if his friends were going to thank him or murder him. Beyond both of them, Yukhei was propped up against a locker across the corridor, looking like he hoped his conspicuously tall frame would somehow blend seamlessly into the background.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You two good?” Jeno asked, but the sparkle in his eyes and the smirk on his lips told Jaemin that he didn't really need to ask. For a moment, Jaemin felt something akin to guilt wash over him, at the idea that Jeno had just had to overhear some—or all—of what had just taken place between him and Renjun, but Jeno didn't seem overly upset or put out by any of it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Renjun told him, answering for both of them when Jaemin didn't speak. “I think we are.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you, uh—” Jaemin couldn't believe he was about to ask this, but the raw affection in Jeno’s expression, as he looked at Renjun, gave him pause. “Do you want me to step outside? To give you two a minute alone.” He was surprised at the lack of jealousy he felt as he spoke the words, buoyed by the total absence of judgement or resentment in Jeno’s eyes as he glanced between the two of them, but Jeno just shook his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m good.” He stepped a little further into the room, leaving Donghyuck and Yukhei watching on almost voyeuristically from the outside, and shrugged. “Today was about you two. You needed to figure out things between you, and you did. That’s all that matters right now. I told you, I’m willing to be patient.” If Jaemin had thought he’d been shocked before, it was nothing compared to how he felt now, as Jeno easily closed the distance between the three of them, passing quickly into Jaemin’s personal space.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your happiness is important to me,” Jeno continued, staring down at both of them like he hadn't just altered Jaemin’s entire perception of the universe in a single sentence. “Both of you.” Then he was scooping Jaemin up into an all-encompassing hug, right alongside Renjun. Jaemin’s right arm pressed hard into Renjun’s left, as both of them found themselves enveloped in warmth and the subtle floral scent of Jeno’s laundry detergent, and, for a moment, they were both too stunned to react.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then he felt Renjun’s hand graze his, fingers entangling with his own. Renjun tucked his head into Jeno’s chest, just like he’d done to Jaemin only minutes before, and Jaemin found himself relaxing into the three-way embrace as well. After a brief hesitation, his free hand came up to curve around Jeno’s lower back too, meeting Renjun’s as the older boy did the same on the other side.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn't often Jaemin felt small, he realised detachedly, as his fingers locked with Renjun’s behind Jeno’s back, binding the three of them even more inextricably together. Like this though, held in Jeno’s embrace next to the boy he’d just shared the most intimate minutes of his life with, Jaemin had to admit that he didn't entirely hate it. Jeno and Renjun were both warm, solid and unerringly constant, and he could feel Jeno’s breath tickling the back of his neck as Renjun’s fingers tightened in his.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn't know exactly how he felt about Jeno yet, or how they were going to navigate the next few interactions between the three of them, but, right now, Jaemin had to admit that it didn't feel like such a burden. He wasn’t in love with Jeno, not like he was with Renjun—far from it, in fact—but there was a mutual spark of attraction there, whether he wanted to admit it or not. The boy had a rare ability to get under his skin, in a way that completely disarmed every misgiving Jaemin could muster against him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Right now, wrapped up in this moment, Jaemin felt overwhelmingly safe and content. The three of them fit together like it was the most natural thing in the world, like this was somehow always meant to be, and...well, Jaemin thought it felt an awful lot like home.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>If you have any thoughts, ideas or constructive criticism, as ever, I'd love to hear it in the comments.</p><p>I know this scene has been a very, very long time coming, so I hope I did it justice. I swear, I honestly didn't mean to torture NoRenMin quite so much along the way, but they constantly refused to make it easy for me. At least now, I can finally let them live a little. I know I've certainly tortured my poor, sweet baby Jaemin enough at this point, so he deserves a break all of his own!</p><p>As always, have a wonderful day! &lt;3</p><p> </p><p>  <strong>ONE</strong></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0044"><h2>44. Chapter 44</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Can I start by saying a huge thank you to you all, for being so patient? I unpacked a lot in this chapter, and it ended up being twice as long as I planned, but I really needed this one to fit properly. It's technically still Jaemin's birthday here in the UK, not that I planned it that way or anything, so I'm going to count that as a sign that it's finally ready...</p><p>Some of you asked about how the end of the countdown works in the comments for the last chapter. On that note, consider this and the next one to be a pair: I've always referred to them in my head as 'set up' and 'punchline', for what it's worth. In this one, I bring Donghyuck to what I believe to be his very lowest in this fic, and then we'll start working our way back out again. It's not much fun, but it's character growth and it's progress, and the pay off is hopefully well worth it.</p><p>I'll leave all my other thoughts to the end, so we'll check back in again on the other side. &lt;3</p><p>TW: Depressive thoughts. Not too intense, but be aware that it's there.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>After the euphoric high of Thursday afternoon, helping three of his favourite people to confront their feelings for each other, for Donghyuck, the rest of the week was bound to be a bit of an anti-climax. Despite regular check-ins with Dongyoung, he was still struggling to sort through the ugly tangle of feelings that had been stirred up at the dance showcase the previous weekend.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The aborted attempt to find a way home, the crushing disappointment that he’d been forced to hide when it had failed, and the realisation that he had allowed his own selfish desires to override his basic human decency; all of that hopelessness and shame had slowly started to eat away at Donghyuck every single day since, whenever he allowed himself to stop and dwell on the pathetic truth that had become his existence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knew that some of what he felt was wholly irrational, and that he was being altogether too hard on himself, but that didn't make the pressure in his chest as he lay down to sleep any less suffocating. It certainly didn't make his dreams, which had begun to heavily feature the two faces he’d been trying so hard not to dwell on, any easier to wake up from. Every morning since then had featured an internal battle for composure, alongside a struggle just to get out of bed, and Donghyuck was ready to admit that he was exhausted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knew that most of the others had noticed too—even Jaehyun had sounded mildly concerned about his health in their latest call—but he was determined to power on through and wait out his homesickness alone. Granted, that had never worked out for him before, but he knew he had to try something. He couldn't let his worries pull everyone else down with him, especially when his friends were all just starting to find their own happiness, so Donghyuck did what Donghyuck did best. He bottled it all up, cranked the charm to eleven, and kept on smiling through the pain.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If he’d known then just how far he was about to fall, he would have—well, he wasn't sure what he would have done, but hindsight was a wonderful thing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That Friday passed almost without note, save for how Jeno spent lunch wedged so tightly in between Renjun and Jaemin on their bench in the cafeteria that Donghyuck was impressed that he could still breathe freely. No one outside of their immediate group seemed to notice the subtle shift in dynamic, which had been intentionally downplayed for the sake of all involved, but he thought that the absence of any kind of discernible tension as they ate their lunch that day made for a nice change.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>On Saturday morning, Jeno had an away game a few towns over, and was due to leave ridiculously early on the team bus with Yukhei and the rest of the soccer team. On Friday afternoon, he invited Renjun and Jaemin to go along last minute, pointing out that it would be a great opportunity for them to spend time together casually after the game, just the three of them, so that they could start to figure out whatever it was that was going on between them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck was all in favour of this, despite Renjun’s guilt at not taking him with them, and he expressed that sentiment throughout most of their impromptu board game night that evening. It took several rounds of Monopoly, with Jaemin and Jeno happily cheating whenever banker Renjun was otherwise distracted, but eventually the older boy relented and agreed to go.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’re such bad friends,” Renjun bemoaned for the umpteenth time, as he sprawled across the couch in Donghyuck’s living room, clinging to Jaemin’s arm for emotional support. Jeno tried to reason with him yet again, to no avail, while Jaemin simply ate all the snacks within reach with his free hand. Eventually, Donghyuck had to remind the older boy that he had a full principal cast rehearsal of the musical all day anyway, so he would surely be able to survive a few short hours without them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure?” Renjun asked, shooting Donghyuck a worried sidewards glance. Donghyuck knew that Renjun felt bad about leaving him, especially considering how vulnerable they had both been lately, but he was quick to reassure him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I promise.” He flashed each of them a winning smile, hoping they didn't see through the veneer to the complex, conflicted emotions lurking just below the surface, and reached up from his position on the floor next to Jeno to squeeze Renjun’s knee. “I already messaged Chenle and Jisung anyway. Chenle is my understudy, so he’s going to be there tomorrow, and you know Jisungie is never far away where Chenle is concerned. I’ll hang out with them after the rehearsal, and then Jaehyunie-hyung is coming over for dinner. I won’t be alone much all day.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“As long as you’ll be okay, Hyuck-ah.” To Donghyuck’s immense surprise, it was Jeno that spoke that time, the boy’s earnest gaze locking with his own for a few long moments. For a second, Donghyuck forgot that Jeno still had no idea what was going on with him, those all too familiar, knowing eyes boring into his soul and dredging up long-suppressed memories, and he had to fight the urge to lean over and wrap the older boy into a hug.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Despite still being in the dark—something that Donghyuck knew would need to be addressed eventually, if Renjun and Jaemin were ever going to be able to be completely honest with him—Jeno was as perceptive as ever. He’d noticed almost immediately that something was amiss, because he was Lee Jeno and he couldn’t help but care. He might not know what it was about just yet, but he knew that Donghyuck was sad and that was enough.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck hadn’t missed the way that Jeno had been watching him closely all evening, even as he tried to pretend he wasn’t. It was as though he was trying to figure out some big secret that he wasn’t a party to, which was ironic, considering how close to the mark that really was. Donghyuck suspected that the older boy would continue to give him his privacy—after all, they didn't know each other that intimately here yet—but Donghyuck could tell his sorrow didn't sit well with Jeno.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It never had, in all the years that Donghyuck had known Jeno, he reminded himself, and that was just one of the many reasons why he knew that he could eventually trust him with his secret, and with his best friends’ happiness. His-Jeno cared, often too much, and he always had people’s best interests at heart, which was a trait Donghyuck had always admired in him. Evidently, this Jeno was no different.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If only he could say the same, the small, self-defeating voice inside Donghyuck’s head lamented. If only he was half the man that Jeno was already growing up to be here, a fraction the man he’d already proved himself to be time and time again as Donghyuck’s close friend, member and brother in his own reality. Maybe then Donghyuck would already be back home, or perhaps none of this would have ever happened in the first place.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Saturday morning began much the same way as Friday had, with a mental pep talk about why he had to continue to try, as he hid amongst his bedsheets. He owed it to the relationships he’d reforged here, he told himself, as he lay on his side and tried not to let the sinking feeling in his gut win. He owed it to the family he missed so much that it hurt, and to the people he knew were working hard to try to help him get back home to them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It took nearly an hour, meaning that he was definitely going to be late to rehearsal, but, eventually, Donghyuck stumbled into the shower, got dressed and grabbed something from the fridge that he hoped constituted breakfast. He was still chewing as he slid behind the wheel of his car, flattening his rumpled, damp hair distractedly using the rearview mirror as he drove, but it meant that he was already twenty minutes late as he pulled into the almost deserted school parking lot and chose his usual spot near the main entrance.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There were very few other cars, he noted, as he fished around in the passenger footwell for his sheet music and then set off at a jog for the auditorium. He knew that it was only meant to be the principal cast and the understudies here today, just under twenty people, but Donghyuck still thought that the lot looked exceptionally empty.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wondered absently, as he pushed open one of the main doors and hurried down the long central corridor, whether other people were even later than him. He imagined Dejun and the teachers wouldn’t be best pleased with that, and upped the pace. Every minute counted, and he didn't want to add any more tardiness to his tally.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry I’m late,” he called out, as the double doors to the auditorium clattered open in front of him and he almost nose-dived into the large room. “I have a good excu—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck broke off, stopping abruptly in his tracks as he finally took stock of the scene in front of him. There were only five people present, clustered in two small groups near either end of the large stage, and the rest of the room was empty. On one side, Jisung and Chenle sat abreast of one another, legs dangling listlessly over the edge of the raised staging as they both peered down at something on the phone Chenle held in his lap. On the other, Dejun and two of the performing arts teachers, Mr Choi and Mr Kim, sat among a cluster of chairs at the base of the steps, silently staring back at him as he hovered dumbly just inside the entryway.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where is everyone?” Donghyuck asked slowly, as Chenle looked up and waved at him, before returning his attention to whatever he and Jisung were watching. Jisung just lifted his head and stared over towards Dejun, who had started to stand, so Donghyuck headed in the direction of the senior boy and his professorial entourage first. Once he reached them, he sank into the seat beside Mr Choi and repeated his question. “Where are the rest of the cast?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dejun sighed, scrubbing at his face with his palms, before reclaiming his chair. He leant forward onto his elbows, peering up at Donghyuck from a face that looked like it hadn't experienced sleep in several weeks, and frowned. “I sent everyone else home a while ago,” he told Donghyuck somberly. When the younger boy just blinked over at him in confusion, Mr Kim spoke up from beside Dejun.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We held a quick meeting at nine, just to explain the situation to everyone, and then most of them went home,” he explained. He glanced over at Chenle and Jisung, who were now chuckling quietly over something he couldn’t see. “Those two insisted on waiting for you but, now that you’re here, I think it’s about time we all called it a day.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t understand,” Donghyuck admitted, glancing between the three of them dazedly. “Is this about the sets not being finished? I thought we were going to get everyone on that next week.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knew that there had been a few delays to their preparations lately, despite the best efforts of all of the cast and crew, but he hadn't expected a half-painted backdrop to hamper what should have been a basic run-through of the main characters' scenes today. It was a mild inconvenience, sure, but something that they could easily work around.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He also knew that Dejun had been stressed about everything being behind schedule, since the older boy shared Donghyuck’s desire to take full, personal responsibility for every single aspect of projects he started, but Donghyuck hadn't expected him to cancel a rehearsal over it. If anything, he thought that would be yet another reason as to why they should be practising more, so that they could then dedicate time to finishing all the outstanding practical tasks later on.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not just about the sets, Hyuck-ah,” Dejun said, as they watched the two teachers start to collect up their belongings around them. He started to feel bad that they had sat around waiting for him for almost a half-hour, but then Dejun’s words distracted him from those thoughts. “Jisoo-yah called me last night. She’s come down with the flu, and she’s almost completely lost her voice. Add to that the issues with her understudy, and we’d struggle without her. Not to mention, the whole second act isn’t ready yet. We’ve all been working so hard on it, but you and I both know it’s just not good enough.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With another even wearier sigh, Dejun buried his face into his hands and fell silent. Donghyuck watched detachedly as the teachers bid them both farewell and left, with the senior not even bothering to lift his head to acknowledge their departure, and then it was just the two of them—plus Chenle and Jisung, pointedly ignoring them from across the other side of the room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s going to happen with the show?” Donghyuck asked slowly, trying to ignore the tiny prickle of discontent curling its way around the base of his spine, building and squeezing as it went. He didn't know exactly why he felt such a sudden onslaught of dread, but it latched onto him as though the answer to his question was one of life and death, and not just to do with a simple high school musical show.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We decided—the faculty and I—to push it back until the Spring.” Dejun shrugged, still not looking up at him. “Sometime in February or March, I’d guess, around the vacation week. It’s not set in stone yet, but it should give us enough time to properly prepare.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck could practically hear the tension leaving Dejun’s body as he spoke, and he knew how much those extra few months grace would mean to the older boy’s sanity and mental well-being, but he couldn't help the huge lump that formed in the back of his throat as he pictured all those extra weeks sprawling out ahead of him like a never-ending maze.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We would have consulted you on this, Hyuck-ah,” Dejun continued, finally looking up so that he could meet Donghyuck’s eye. There was a spark of hope there that had been missing for quite some time, Donghyuck realised with a jolt, and the boy even flashed him a small smile. “We discussed it before everyone arrived, but you weren’t here. I only heard from Jisoo late last night, which was kind of the thing that pushed it over the edge, and then you were late and…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I understand,” Donghyuck assured him, returning Dejun’s smile with a wobbly, fabricated one of his own. He was sure that Dejun would easily be able to read the distress written large across his features, but did his best to school them into polite indifference regardless. “Hopefully, Jisoo-noona gets better soon. That’s all that really matters, after all. Then we can use the extra half a semester to make sure we put on the best musical this school has ever seen.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He smiled wider, even though that was the very last thing he wanted to do in the moment, and Dejun mimicked him easily. Then the senior boy stood and reached for his backpack, which was on the floor beneath his chair. “I’m really glad you’re on board, Hyuck-ah,” he said, more chipperly than Donghyuck had heard him sound all month. “I should get going. I have an essay for World History that won’t write itself, and I think those two are getting bored.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck followed the movement, as Dejun pointed a thumb over his shoulder at the two freshmen huddled together on the edge of the stage, and then forced himself to laugh dryly. It sounded superficial, even to his ears, but Dejun didn't seem to notice. “You can count on me, Mr President,” he said, as earnestly as he could muster. “Have a good weekend.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With that, Dejun left, and Donghyuck made his way over to the two boys watching what sounded like a variety show, played at such a low volume he was impressed they could follow it. It was only when he noticed the subtitles, and the way Chenle’s eyes darted across the bottom of the small screen rapidly in time with the voices of the hosts, that he realised just how thoughtful and conscientious the pair had been while they waited.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You two didn’t have to wait for me,” he murmured, stepping up to the edge of the stage below them to tap lightly on Chenle’s knee. The younger boy jumped and let out a loud squeal of surprise, which caused Jisung to startle like some kind of chain reaction, and then they were both peering down at him from over the top edge of the phone. “You could have just messaged me, and gone home.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“LeLe wanted to stay,” Jisung told him, dodging Chenle’s sudden attack as the shorter boy swung a half-hearted elbow towards his friend’s ribs. “Okay, we both wanted to stay,” he corrected, “because we really wanted to check out that cafe you told us about… uh, with you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Only staying for my wallet, huh?” Donghyuck asked playfully, letting the maknaes’ cuteness and Chenle’s megawatt smile temporarily force the bad feeling he was still harbouring towards the back of his mind. He flashed them both a genuine smile—and if it was somewhat dimmed and didn't meet his eyes, he hoped they would forgive him—then waved a hand to indicate that they should join him at floor level. “Don’t worry, I’ll buy you both extra ice cream for your patience.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyung, it’s cold out,” Jisung said with an eye roll, but Chenle just slapped a hand over his mouth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ice cream sounds awesome, hyung. Right, Sungie? ” He eyed Jisung imploringly, and the younger boy caved in an instant, the corners of his lips quirking up into a tiny grin that only ever surfaced around Chenle or his brothers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn't until Donghyuck was safely back in his room, morning cafe trip with the maknaes providing a brief but much-needed reprieve from his thoughts, that he allowed himself to properly fall apart. Curled up in bed, with the covers pulled up over his head and both parents safely ensconced in the living room downstairs, he let the tears fill his eyes and slowly drip down over the bridge of his nose into the pillow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn't bother wiping them away, feeling an odd sense of comfort in the way that the fabric beneath his cheek started to dampen in a neat halo as it stuck to his skin. He was struck by the similarity of his current situation to the one he had found himself in when he’d first woken up here, all those weeks and months ago, but this time it wasn't frustration and determination that fuelled his tears.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was defeat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d had the car ride home, the backseat freshly void of overly-talkative passengers, to ponder the reason for his latest bout of misery. It had taken him almost the entire distance back from Chenle’s house to unpack exactly what it was that had triggered his despair, but, now that he knew, there was no shoving his emotions back into the darkest recesses again, hoping they would sort through themselves.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The show had been a fixed point in his mental narrative, he’d realised. He was no great physicist or philosopher, but he’d seen enough science fiction movies—and had enough discussions with Renjun over coffee in both realities—to know the basics of time travel and extraordinary metaphysical phenomena. In every timeline, there were fixed points, events that were set in stone and pivotal to the protagonist's journey. Whether any of that held in his particular, real-life situation or not remained to be seen, but what he had always perceived to be true still felt very, very real.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His mind had been holding onto the date of the first performance of the show, just a few short weeks away now, as some sort of finite point in this reality. He knew that it wasn't rational or logical, based on how many other unknowns there were to factor in, but he’d subconsciously clung onto the singular belief that he </span>
  <em>
    <span>wouldn't be here that long</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He wouldn't be stuck forever, he’d told himself more times than he could remember. Eventually, he’d return home, just like how, eventually, the lengthy preparations for the show would also come to an end.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was just a delay, the sensible part of his brain reasoned. The show wasn't being cancelled, or postponed indefinitely; it was just a few more months. Donghyuck knew that to be true, in the same way that he knew that it had been a huge burden on Dejun and the rest of his fellow cast and crew lately to push for everything to fall into place before winter break began, but somehow those months looked like an eternity as they stretched into the unknown. It was an apt metaphor for the helplessness and doubt he’d started to feel over his inability to get home, he mused, as the tears continued to fall, and that was enough to terrify him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was stuck, trapped, the base fear receptors in his brain screamed, as he pressed his face deeper into the damp pillow and stifled a cry loud enough to disturb his parents below him. They would come upstairs if they heard him, he knew, and then they would want to know what was wrong. He thought that his mom might understand, given how much she already knew about his situation, but the raw pain in her eyes as she was forced to once again confront the loss of her own son was too much to bear thinking about.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Right now, curled in on himself like he might shatter into a million pieces if he let go, he desperately wished his mom was here. Not the woman downstairs, as kind as she had been to him. His real mother, the brilliant, irreplaceable woman who always knew what to do whenever he was lost or scared. The woman who had patiently nursed him through an injury that he’d feared would end his career, and had even more patiently supported him through several fights that he had feared would destroy his most treasured relationships for good.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wished he could cry on her shoulder right now, instead of into the thin, coarse sheets that cocooned him like a shroud. He wished that he could go to Johnny, or Taeyong, or Jeno—or even Mark, the most self-destructive corner of him whispered—and know that they would listen. But they were either lost to him or they didn't really know him here, not yet and not in the way that he so desperately needed them to. Even Renjun and Jaemin could only understand to a point, and he’d already burdened them more than any high-schooler should ever have to be.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They loved him, and he knew that they would come home early from the game if he asked, but what kind of person would that make him if he did. He’d already hurt them both so much, acting selfishly and treating their feelings as fundamentally less important than his own. Now that they were finally happy, enjoying their newfound closeness to one another, he’d truly be a monster if he interrupted that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No, Donghyuck thought flatly. They weren’t an option, any more than any of the other clueless members scattered throughout this impenetrable cage of stagnant reality were.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He briefly considered calling Dongyoung for help. He knew that the older man would answer, and would do his best to talk him down off this new cliff he’d found himself clinging to by just his fingernails, but Donghyuck also knew that Dongyoung had an exam on Monday. He remembered Jaehyun mentioning it on the phone the other day, when they’d discussed why it would be a while before Donghyuck could visit the Annex again. He hadn’t given it much thought at the time, but now it made him hesitate before reaching for the phone he knew was buried somewhere in the mass of sheets and blankets swaddling his body.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He couldn't burden Dongyoung with this either, he realised with resounding finality. That brought him abruptly to the bottom of a very short list of options, and Donghyuck was left with no other choice. He would have to weather this storm on his own, like he had done for much of the past week already. Those few short days—hours, really—already felt like they had spanned a decade, unaccustomed as Donghyuck was to having to deal with things alone, but there didn't seem to be an end in sight.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Normally, he would have twenty brothers, and countless managers and dorm aunties that he could talk to, a supportive ear for any situation or issue he could imagine. He could turn to any one of them, knowing that they would help him without question or hesitation. They were his chosen family, and that family had always been Donghyuck’s greatest strength—his raison d’etre.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Right now, though, he didn't think he’d ever had less of a reason.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was how Jaehyun found him several hours later, the tears long-since dried and the cries of despair faded into the occasional soft, keening whimper. Donghyuck hadn’t yet moved from his bed, still curled into the foetal position around his tear-stained pillow as his brother gently peeled away each layer of bedding that shielded him from the world. His bladder was screaming at him to get up, to relieve the pressure before he humiliated himself, but the self-flagellating part of Donghyuck’s mind told him that, if he pissed himself, maybe he’d deserve it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He half expected Jaehyun to yell at him, to chew him out for his pitiful state. That or ask him questions he definitely wasn't in a stable enough place to answer, so, when the man slid into the bed at his back, slipping a warm arm around his waist, Donghyuck thought he must be dreaming. Silently, Jaehyun pulled the younger boy back into his chest, wedging his free arm under Donghyuck’s torso so that he was held tightly around the middle. He tucked his chin down onto the top of Donghyuck’s head, so the air gently shifted Donghyuck’s hair every time he took a breath, and then tugged the mass of sheets and blankets back over both of their heads.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They remained like that for what felt like forever, neither of them speaking, yet communicating on an instinctual level that felt more natural than breathing. Whenever Jaehyun’s grip started to loosen, the man relaxing further into the mattress, Donghyuck would lift his hands to press his shaking fingers to the smooth grooves of Jaehyun’s knuckles.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A single squeeze, barely enough to register beneath the heated skin under Donghyuck’s hands, and Jaehyun would tighten his grip like he was holding the fractured pieces of Donghyuck’s heart together. Like he could cling on just tightly enough to force them to fuse back together. Then his grip would slowly loosen again, and the cycle would begin anew.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyung?” Donghyuck wondered if Jaehyun could even hear him, his voice so weak and scratchy from exhaustion that it hurt to speak, but his brother’s fingers quickly found his cheeks in the near-darkness, wiping away fresh traces of tears that he hadn’t realised he’d shed. Donghyuck didn't remember having turned over, so he assumed that he must have drifted into a restless sleep at some point, but he could now feel the gentle caress of Jaehyun’s breath ghosting over his eyelashes as they slowly fluttered open and closed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I—” He hesitated, as Jaehyun went completely still beside him, waiting. “Thank you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Like a spell had been broken, they both shifted away from each other at the same time. Jaehyun’s fingers left his skin, leaving a trace of warmth where they had lingered, and Donghyuck pushed the covers off both of them in one smooth motion. The room around them was dim, faint light filtering in under the door from the hallway, and the sky outside the closed window was littered with stars. Jaehyun rolled onto his back, stretching out his limbs lazily, and then sat up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you want me to stay?” Jaehyun asked, as he stood and turned to look at Donghyuck. The younger boy sat up slowly, shifting until his back rested against the headboard, and then blinked up at his brother. He knew what Jaehyun was asking. If he said the word, the older man would extend his stay beyond just the family dinner he’d planned upon, and he would be here for him. Part of Donghyuck even wanted that, even as a larger part knew that he couldn’t ask it of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No. It’s okay.” He offered Jaehyun a tired smile, picturing the printed exam timetable that their mom had taped to the fridge downstairs. He knew that Jaehyun had midterms next week too, just like Dongyoung did. He’d been studying for them for weeks, and he needed his free time far more than Donghyuck did right now. It wasn't fair to force him to sacrifice his study, just because his selfish little brother—one who was still lying to him about everything—couldn't handle his own feelings. “I feel much better.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn't even a lie, Donghyuck thought wryly, as Jaehyun nodded and returned his smile hesitantly. He did feel better, like Jaehyun had somehow succeeded in forcing the pieces of him back together—if only temporarily. Because it </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> temporary, Donghyuck knew that without a shadow of a doubt. He might have staved off the fear and hopelessness for a short time, Jaehyun’s embrace giving him just enough strength to hold in all in for a while, but, eventually, he would break all over again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He just wondered how many times he would be able to patch himself up, before he fell apart for good.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The end of school for the season came and went without much fanfare. His friends noticed the shift in his attitude, the way that he was slowly but surely retracting inside his mind as the weeks crept by, but there wasn’t much they could do. He made sure to maintain the bare bones of his facade in school, so that he wouldn’t worry them too badly, and begged off spending time with Renjun or Jaemin after school whenever possible.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knew that they were both busy anyway, a complicated dance of courting, dating and forever altered friendships taking up a lot of their free time and energy. The two of them and Jeno continued to orbit around one another almost artfully, as they gradually settled into what would become a new normal for them. Donghyuck didn't begrudge them that, even as he watched them grow happier with each passing day, days that had him drifting further and further from the peace that he had been so sure would eventually return to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He still hung out with Chenle and Jisung outside of school for a short while, as he’d promised he would do more regularly, but he knew deep down that it would only be a matter of time before they started to see the cracks appearing too. So, as classes ended and winter break began, he invariably began to spend more and more time in isolation, or at the Annex with Dongyoung.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Exams out of the way, Dongyoung had become his one sure life raft in the unending maelstrom that was his mind. He wasn't enough to pull Donghyuck out on his own, but he stoically kept them both above the water as the days dragged on. He’d sit with Donghyuck on the sofa in the living room for hours, just filling the space with meaningless words, and it helped to blunt some of the numbness inside Donghyuck’s heart. Most of the time, one or other of Dongyoung’s roommates would join them, watching television or gossiping idly about things happening around the fraternity. If Donghyuck hadn't felt so utterly lost, it would have almost been comforting, but he struggled to focus beyond the bare minimum.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Over the first weekend of winter break, he learnt that Taeil was agonising over his preparations for a class that he was teaching next semester. He learnt Jungwoo and Yukhei were busy planning their three month anniversary, and that Jungwoo was stressed that his boyfriend would buy him something he’d have to pretend to like—because he loved Yukhei, but not always his gift choices!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>On the Monday that followed, he heard about how much Yuta was still enjoying his dance rehearsals with Ten and his crew. He’d even plucked up the courage to ask Sicheng on a date, which the other man had politely declined, but Yuta was certain that the next time he’d say yes. Yuta seemed buoyant and excitable, a sentiment Donghyuck almost wished he could join in with, but, at the same time, it all seemed so very distant and insignificant when cast against the fractured shards of his optimism.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>On Wednesday, Taeil came home stressing about one of the empty bedrooms in the Annex, the one that had sat empty and ready for the incoming international transfer for far too long. He discussed visa issues at length with Dongyoung all afternoon, lamenting the placement falling through for the third time. The university was making him work hard for nothing every time, he told them both, although Donghyuck was half-asleep with his head in Dongyoung’s lap as the older man talked. He thought he vaguely remembered Taeil saying that he was meant to hear back from the university board sometime early next week, but he hadn't been paying enough attention to know exactly what for.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun had taken to acting—well, weirder than usual. Where Donghyuck had previously experienced just the odd moment of strange behaviour from his brother, over the first few days of winter break, Jaehyun seemed to have made it his full-time job. Whenever he was in the room, he watched Donghyuck like a hawk, eyes following his smallest movements like he was afraid Donghyuck would disappear if he didn't.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When they were apart, Jaehyun had taken to calling him almost every day, or stealing the phone from Dongyoung whenever he called instead, only to ask the most inane and innocuous questions. Donghyuck was getting tired of having to pretend he was okay around him, savouring the rare moments Jaehyun left the house or didn't have time to call, even as he experienced cloying, overwhelming guilt at thinking about his brother that way.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As for Dongyoung, he tried hard not to push Donghyuck too much to interact, but he started talking a lot about Taeyong towards the end of the week. The pair were fast approaching date number five but they had only kissed twice, he’d shared with Yuta in passing. Dongyoung was worried that they were moving too slowly, but he also didn't want to rush things.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was also Dongyoung’s turn to plan the date this time, as he announced to the room at large on Friday morning, when he started to float various suggestions and activity ideas past the three other people present. Donghyuck was relieved that he didn't have to contribute much, since he couldn't imagine anything he was less in the mood for than planning someone else’s date, but he could tell that Dongyoung needed him to be at least a little bit supportive.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I like that one,” he mumbled, one eye cracked open and squinting against the harsh lights overhead, as he peered up at the advertisement in Dongyoung’s hand. The room went silent, and Donghyuck reluctantly opened the other eye, only to see everyone staring at him in surprise. He frowned up at Jaehyun, who looked like he’d just seen a ghost. “What?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nothing,” Jaehyun insisted, shifting his gaze to a spot on the wall behind the couch Donghyuck and Dongyoung were monopolising.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But—” He started to speak again, but Dongyoung cut him off, waving the brightly coloured flyer in front of his face and blocking his view of his brother.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This one?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” Donghyuck shifted a little in Dongyoung’s lap so that he could look straight up at him. From this angle, he could see straight up Dongyoung’s nostrils, but he didn't find that anywhere near as funny as he thought he probably should have. “It seems, uh, cute.” If he was honest, he had absolutely no idea what the leaflet was advertising, but he knew that Dongyoung had been loudly debating it as an option for over an hour. He hoped that, by offering an opinion, they would all finally shut up and move onto something else.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Donghyuck!” At Jungwoo’s scandalised gasp, Donghyuck focused back in on the group of people around him, realising belatedly that each and every one of them now looked completely horrified. As his gaze shifted from Jungwoo to Jaehyun, he saw his brother’s features morph into something that he could only describe as disappointment. Yuta wouldn’t even make eye contact with him and, when he looked up at Dongyoung, he watched as the previously cheerful man’s smile vanished and his face crumpled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I—” With dawning horror, Donghyuck realised his mistake all too late, and sat up quick enough to make his head spin. “I said that out loud, didn't I?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Dongyoung said, his voice so small and wounded that it almost didn't sound like him. “Yeah, you did.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyung, I’m s—” Donghyuck hesitated for a split second, mind frantically racing to try to catch up with his mouth, but it was long enough for him to see the shift in Dongyoung’s eyes. Real, genuine hurt replaced the confusion and surprise, and it cut into him like he’d been stabbed. It was the first thing he’d really, truly felt in weeks, and he’d do just about anything to take it back again. “I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can we have a few minutes alone, please?” Dongyoung didn't even look at him as he spoke, but the others quickly made themselves scarce at their roommate's request. Jaehyun was the last to leave, an odd expression on his face that Donghyuck couldn’t even begin to process as he glanced back over his shoulder, but then he was gone and they were alone together on the sofa.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyung, I’m really sorr—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyuckie, stop.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck swallowed his remaining words, staring down at his knees to avoid having to make eye contact with the man beside him. He didn't know what Dongyoung was about to say, but he already knew that he would deserve every word of it. Without thinking, he had just hurt the one person he hadn’t already alienated or lied to, and now he was about to lose Dongyoung too. He was a pathetic excuse for a human being, he thought bitterly, as he waited for Dongyoung’s verdict.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve tried to give you time,” Dongyoung began, his voice hesitant and his tone weary. “I was hoping that you would start to find your way back on your own, if I was here for you and gave you space, but you didn't. Hyuck, I’m really worried about you. This isn’t like you at all, and I can’t help you if you stop letting me in.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For a moment, Donghyuck sat frozen, as he let Dongyoung’s words slowly filter through his sluggish brain. He’d been expecting anger and disappointment—and the older man would have been more than justified in both of those responses—but this was the complete opposite. Despite Donghyuck’s rudeness, and the unacceptable way he’d just acted in front of the group of his hyungs, Dongyoung was worried about him. He was worried </span>
  <em>
    <span>for</span>
  </em>
  <span> him, and that realisation allowed his words to punch a microscopic hole in the tough exoskeleton of apathy that Donghyuck had allowed to build up over the past few weeks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I—” Donghyuck heard a sob rip through the air around them, only realising that the sound was coming from him when the first tear landed on the back of one of the hands fisted in his lap. “I don’t know if I can,” he told Dongyoung honestly, as the man quickly wrapped a steadying arm around his shoulders from behind. “If I let myself think, it hurts too much. So I just stopped thinking.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“About home?” Dongyoung seemed to already know the answer, so he just hummed in acknowledgement when Donghyuck nodded. “I know it’s hard, Donghyuck. In your position, I’m sure I would be much the same, but you can’t just give up on everything because it’s hard. After all, one cannot simply stop living while they wait for the seasons to change.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It feels so hopeless though, hyung,” Donghyuck whispered, leaning heavily into Dongyoung’s side. “Like I’m trapped, and I can’t see a way out.” The older man adjusted his grip on his shoulder so that he could more easily support Donghyuck’s weight, then used his free hand to lift Donghyuck’s chin so that he could meet the younger boy’s eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t take that away,” Dongyoung told him soberly. “I truly wish I could, but I can’t. What I can do, Haechan-ah, is make sure you’re never alone.” His gaze didn't waver for an instant, demanding Donghyuck’s full and undivided attention. “I know this is not home, but you have so many people here that care about you too. Don’t forget that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was right. Donghyuck knew that without question. Although he’d pushed away most of them with his awful attitude and the graveyard of unread messages clogging up his phone, none of them had stopped trying. It had been him who had eschewed all contact, and yet they were still there. All he had to do was reach out; it was as easy as breathing, so why hadn't he done it?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do I do?” Donghyuck knew the answer already, if he was being honest with himself, but he needed Dongyoung to say it. He needed to know that this wasn't all on him, and that someone else believed in him as much as he knew he ought to believe in himself. He needed to hear, out loud, that he wasn’t alone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You need to make a choice, Donghyuck-ah,” came the response, like the voice of reason forcing its way through every other negative thought polluting his mind. “You can let yourself give up, and choose to wallow in self-pity, or you can choose to live and to make the best of things as they are.” A hand smoothed over the back of Donghyuck’s hair, and he leant further into Dongyoung’s touch. “Live for your friends, if you must, or for your brother. Even for me, if that helps, but you have to make that choice for yourself. No one can make it for you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Will you help me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course.” There wasn't even the slightest hint of hesitation in the older man’s voice as he spoke, gaze still locked with Donghyuck’s. The truth of it was written across Dongyoung’s face too, as he pulled the younger boy in even tighter to his side. He didn't need to say more, actions speaking far louder than words ever could, but Donghyuck felt lips moving close to his ear anyway. “I’ll be here for you, no matter what the future holds.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he said it like that, everything seemed just that little bit less burdensome, Donghyuck thought, as he stared up at the man beside him. Dongyoung wasn’t holding him together, not like Jaehyun had tried to do before, but the arm around his shoulders seemed to offer to lend him strength, at least until he was able to muster up enough of his own. What he was saying without words was that Donghyuck had someone he could fall back on, whenever things got too difficult, and that Dongyoung would be there to help him pick up the pieces when he shattered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If he was willing to accept it, Dongyoung would give him anything he needed, the silence told him, just because he cared. Because it was the right thing to do. The unselfish thing to do. The utterly selfless thing. And that was what Donghyuck was missing, he realised, that complete lack of selfish thought and deed. He’d spent so much time over the past few weeks wrapped up in his own self-pity, that he’d once again forgotten the impact it had on those around him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yes, he wanted to go home and to see his family again—to snuggle with his hyungs in the dorm after a schedule, to play around with the Dreamies after practice, or to continue to love his best friend from a distance, all the while convincing himself that friendship was enough—but was that desire worth hurting his new family over? Tearing himself apart with fear and denial wasn't going to bring his family back any quicker and, in the process, he was failing to make a positive impact here and now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>People still needed him here, wanted him here. He owed it to them to be the best that he could be, for as long as he remained with them. If that was forever, he would one day have to face his fears, but he couldn’t just shut out this world as he waited impatiently for it all to end. For Jaehyun and his hyungs. For Renjun, Jaemin and the other Dreamies. For Dongyoung, who was still waiting patiently for him to respond. For them, he needed to live.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love you, hyung.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As he spoke the words, Donghyuck felt a wave of something entirely other sweep through his body. It was as though, having manifested his decision into words, the very air around him had accepted it as gospel and had adapted accordingly. He wasn't sure exactly what it meant yet, as a shiver rippled down his spine and he let Dongyoung continue to hold him close, but he sincerely hoped that it was a sign of positive changes to come.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love you too, Haechan-ah.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Five days later, as Donghyuck got ready for bed in the bathroom of his family home, he had to admit that not a lot had tangibly changed. He still struggled to get up in the mornings, and he was still struggling with the crushing weight of his burdens, but he’d been out for a short walk with his friends and had spent time with his mom at the store after lunch. He couldn't say that his priorities had suddenly shifted, or that he was no longer fearful of the future—every day was still a battle, stellar support system aside—but he knew that he was taking small steps in the right direction.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d diligently listened to Jungwoo as he’d waxed lyrical about anniversary gifts, before subtly dropping hints for his clueless senior boyfriend when the high schoolers had all met up for lunch the following day, just because he knew that it would make Jungwoo happy. He’d actively participated in Dongyoung’s date planning, using his insider knowledge of Taeyong’s personality to help create an experience he knew the older man would love. He’d even offered to be a test subject for an academic survey that Taeil was working on as part of his research, after he’d heard him mention that he hadn’t had enough volunteers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It had been a long week, he mused, and he’d had an almost infinite number of ups and downs along the way. However, as Donghyuck gazed at his face in the mirror above the sink, he realised that he didn't regret a single second of it. Things still weren't easy, and Dongyoung was probably getting tired of the constant hugs and phone calls at this point, but Donghyuck was getting there. Piece by tiny piece, he was rebuilding, and it was worth each hurdle and low moment to see his brothers’ faces light up at his continued progress. Especially now he was doing this for them, as much as for himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck quickly finished scrubbing his face and dried off, making his way back along the hall towards his room. Shutting the door behind him, he closed the curtains and clambered into bed, the efforts of the day making his head slightly fuzzy and his limbs feel heavier than lead. He wondered detachedly whether or not he would dream tonight, and, if he did, whether he would catch a fleeting glimpse of either Johnny or Mark in the distance again. It was out of his control, he knew that, but it didn't make him miss them any less each time. He would still have to handle the flood of feelings it would invariably force to the surface, come morning, but, for now, he simply allowed himself to drift, waiting for darkness to take him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Awareness hit him like a freight train, forcing all the air out of Donghyuck’s lungs as his upper body arched up off the bed faster than he could register the movement. His eyes flew open, fingers coming up to clutch at his chest as his lungs fought to suck in enough oxygen for him to take a breath. The room around him was silent, eerily so, but the pounding of his heart in his ears was loud enough to reverberate through every inch of his being.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For a moment, Donghyuck sat immobile, listening out for any sign of what had woken him, as the thundering tattoo inside his ribcage slowly started to return to normal. He’d been dead to the world, without even dreams to distract him from the void, until suddenly he wasn't. It was as though he’d been forcibly ripped from sleep, like the universe had suddenly demanded that he be conscious. It was the most disorienting sensation Donghyuck thought he’d ever experienced—aside, possibly, from first waking up in a reality that was not his own—and the overbearing press of </span>
  <em>
    <span>otherness</span>
  </em>
  <span> against his skin didn't fade as time went on.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a few long minutes, during which it became clear that he was not just going to fall back to sleep again, he swung his legs out over the edge of the bed, fisting his hands over his bleary eyes to scrub away the fatigue, and reached for the phone charging on the nightstand beside him. As the device blinked to life in his lap, his eyes were drawn instinctually to the illuminated face of the alarm clock on the table beyond, digits glowing green in the near blackness.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>4:37 am</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck shivered again, as he stared down at the numbers. He estimated that it had been about 5 minutes since he’d been woken, which made it—well, it still made it way past ass o’clock in the morning, but the uneasy feeling that had roused him seemed to grow impossibly larger as the LED display seared itself into his brain.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Without thinking too much about it, Donghyuck felt his fingers curl tightly around his phone, bringing it up towards his face. The details on the screen swam into view as it moved closer, until he could see that his fingers had already navigated to his contacts list. He hadn't told them to do that, he knew that even through the cottony haziness of his thoughts, but that didn't make it feel any less purposeful.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Renjun?” he whispered to himself, as his fingers scrolled down the short list of emergency contacts at the top. “Jaehyun? Do—?” He paused, brain stuttering for another fleeting moment, before he pressed down on the name and heard the dial tone echo through the tiny, muffled speaker. “Dongyoung-hyung. I need Dongyoung-hyung.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello?” The call connected almost immediately, like the man on the other end had been waiting for it, and Donghyuck temporarily forgot how to function, as he heard the faint sound of Dongyoung’s voice on the other end. Then the man spoke again, and the words jolted Donghyuck out of his reverie. “Is everything okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Pressing the device to his ear, Donghyuck pulled his feet back up and under the covers, shifting so that his tailbone pressed up against the pillow wedged between him and the headboard. “Hyung,” he murmured, making sure to keep his voice low, and he could have sworn he heard several voices in the background as Dongyoung answered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“N-nothing.” This time, as he spoke, Donghyuck was certain that he could hear his brother’s voice somewhere in the distance, asking Dongyoung who was calling. Dongyoung ignored him, listening intently for whatever Donghyuck was going to say next, and the younger boy felt a sudden wave of embarrassment permeate the odd feeling that still clung to him like a second skin. “I shouldn’t have called. I just woke up and I felt really weird, like something in the universe had... shifted.” Donghyuck paused, surprised by his own words, before he hurried on. “It’s probably nothing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For too long, Dongyoung didn't speak, likely stunned into silence by the absurdly ridiculous words spilling from Donghyuck’s mouth. Yet, when he spoke again, there was a seriousness to his tone that set Donghyuck’s teeth on edge. “What time did you wake up?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I—what?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Haechan-ah, I swear I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important. What time?” The heft of gravity in Dongyoung’s voice gave Donghyuck few other options, so he answered honestly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A few minutes ago. Just before I called you. I can’t be sure, but I think it was around 4:30.” He thought for a moment, feeling the unconscious lie sitting heavily on his tongue, and then corrected himself. “Actually, I know for a fact that it was 4:32 am. Hyung, I don’t know how I know that, but…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Woo. What time was the plane due to land?” Dongyoung said abruptly, silencing the excuse that Donghyuck had been trying to convince himself was fact, to somehow make sense of a truth that shouldn’t be possible. Through the receiver, he heard another voice responding to Dongyoung’s question, although he couldn’t quite catch what was said, and then Dongyoung was addressing him again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Haechan, listen to me, okay?” he began, and Donghyuck’s heart leapt uncontrollably in his chest for reasons he couldn't begin to explain. “The others and I, we’re on our way to the airport right now. It’s all really last minute, or I would have… Look, I promise that I’ll explain everything in the morning  but, right now, I need you to trust me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I do, hyung. You know I do.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good.” Someone else spoke again on Dongyoung’s end of the phone, and Donghyuck thought it sounded a lot like Taeil as Dongyoung paused to listen. Then there was a sigh, the vibration tickling Donghyuck’s inner ear as the signal translated back into analogue on his end. “I need to go now, kiddo, but you should get some sleep. Then you can come over to the house tomorrow morning, and I’ll explain everything. Okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait!” Donghyuck’s shrill plea was probably enough to wake half the neighbourhood, but he didn't care. His brain was still sleep-addled, and the strangeness that clung to him still hadn’t eased in the slightest, but he wasn't stupid. The airport meant only one thing, and from Dongyoung's odd reaction he could connect enough dots to see the rough outline of the image they formed. “Is it…? Are you…?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck didn’t need to hear more, letting Dongyoung disconnect the call without another word. Phone still clutched in his trembling fingers, he crawled further down the bed and curled up into a ball at the very centre. He knew it would be useless trying falling back to sleep now, not after everything that had just happened, but that meant that he would have to wait out the long hours until dawn instead.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His brain seemed to have short-circuited, refusing to allow him to dwell for too long on the tiny spark of hope that Dongyoung had set alight inside his soul, so he let the ember begin to warm him from within and started to count the seconds one by one.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>One.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Two.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hundreds. Thousands. It didn't matter how many numbers he’d have to cycle through. Eventually, he’d climb high enough and the sun would rise. Dawn would bring with it a new day and, tomorrow, </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span> was going to change.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Welp. That's the end of an era, ladies and gentlemen. It's been a genuine slog this week, and I really wanted to delete this entire chapter several times, but from here on in it's a brand new day. One that will be a whole different beast to write, in many ways. We've still got a ways to go with this story, and it's not stopping just yet, but we're heading towards the end game now. I can just about see it on the horizon.</p><p>We also hit a few huge milestones this week too, which is absolutely crazy. 200k words, 40k views and the end of a very poorly planned-out countdown that gave me nothing but stress. Worth every second though, so thank you for being so supportive of everything so far!</p><p>Lastly, this chapter is partially dedicated to the two lovely people who spoke to me on <a href="https://twitter.com/galaxy_neozone">Twitter</a> yesterday. You were both sharing this story with others over there (which is always truly humbling to see), and I'm pretty sure you didn't expect me to actually respond, but you both really made my day. So thanks! :)</p><p>As always, have a wonderful day! &lt;3</p><p> </p><p>  <em>zero</em></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0045"><h2>45. Chapter 45</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>It seems that Thursday has become my default upload day lately. I didn't plan it that way, yet here we are again...</p><p>The response on the last chapter was completely insane, so thank you so much to everyone who read, commented and hyped it on social media. It seems like a lot of people really resonated with Hyuck's experiences too, which hurts my heart as someone who has been through much the same in the past and fed on my experiences to write it. To those people, if any of you are still in that dark place, please just know that you are never as alone as you feel when you hit rock bottom. There are always people around you who love you, and I would urge anyone feeling hopeless to reach out and ask for help, even if that feels impossible.</p><p>Anyways, today, I humbly offer the 'punch line' to the previous eleven chapters. One of Donghyuck's missing pieces has finally touched down on Korean soil, and I'm really excited to share their big moment with you all.</p><p>Enjoy! :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After the dramatic events of the wee hours of the morning, Donghyuck never could have imagined that he would fall back asleep. Yet, as awareness returned for a second time and he yawned lazily, he had to admit that he’d been wrong. According to the alarm clock on the bedside table, it was barely gone eight in the morning, the sunlight venturing in through the gaps at the edges of the curtains pale and lacking its usual intensity, but Donghyuck felt surprisingly well-rested.</p><p> </p><p>The strange feeling from earlier still hadn’t faded, not entirely, but it did seem to have shifted, over time, into something closer resembling anticipation than dread. In the few short hours that had elapsed since his conversation with Dongyoung—which still felt as fresh in his mind now as it had just seconds after the fact—Donghyuck had somehow managed to experience the most restful night’s sleep he’d had in months.</p><p> </p><p>He had a sneaking suspicion he knew why that was, but, as he was still refusing to allow himself to hope too much, he decided to simply accept it for the gift it was. After the suffocating nothingness of the past few weeks, the unexpected energy boost wasn’t something Donghyuck was going to take for granted. Whatever today brought—and he sincerely prayed that it would bring even more than he was allowing himself to hope for—he would take that as a sign of progress.</p><p> </p><p>To his surprise, it only took Donghyuck ten minutes to persuade himself to sit up and seek out his glasses, squinting against the low light as the furthest extremities of his room swam slowly into focus around him. This, too, was a vast improvement on the day before, and so felt like yet another step in the right direction. He didn't venture from the bed, content to dwell in his makeshift safe haven for just a few minutes longer, instead reaching blindly towards the spot on the table beside him where his phone should be.</p><p> </p><p>Another few seconds, fingers scrabbling futilely against nothing but polished wood, was enough to remind him that his phone was likely still in bed with him, having not bothered to reattach it to the charger after his early morning call. Shifting his weight carefully from one hip to the other, he felt the unmistakable boxy outline of the device pressing against his right knee, and shimmed down the bed a little until he was in a position to retrieve it.</p><p> </p><p>The display illuminated immediately, warning him of impending low battery, but he ignored that in favour of flicking through the few messages from Dongyoung that he must have received after falling back asleep. The first had come in just after 5:00, letting him know that they were on their way back home from the airport. The second, sent nearly an hour later, had him checking the current time and then groaning in frustration.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Just got home. Everyone is exhausted. You should probably come over around lunchtime, to give us all a chance to get some sleep. Is 12:00 okay? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>He wanted to say no, to call Dongyoung then and there and demand that he rouse everyone immediately. Never mind that they wouldn't have a clue as to why, or that he would be barging in on five people—or six, the tiny spark of hope whispered—who had just barely crawled into bed. He was impatient, desperate to see what was going on, to finally give himself a chance to fan that optimistic spark into flame, but he knew that wasn't fair. Not on Dongyoung, and not on any of the other Annex residents.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Of course, hyung. See you then. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Sending the message, Donghyuck forced himself to plug the phone in again, vowing to try to ignore it for a while. It was barely past eight in the morning, after all, and there were still a good few hours he’d have to endure before noon arrived, so he decided to keep himself busy. Heading downstairs, tiptoeing carefully when he noticed that his parents’ door was still firmly closed as he passed, he fixed himself some leftover meat and rice for breakfast and then took his sweet time eating it. Afterwards, he took an unnecessarily thorough shower, revelling in the fact that there was no one around to hurry him along or complain about wasted water.</p><p> </p><p>After what felt like an hour, he stepped out and dried off, dressing quickly in sweats and an old t-shirt from the laundry cupboard that he was pretty sure belonged to Jaehyun. Then he made his way back to his room, noting that the door to the master bedroom was no longer shut, and sealed himself back inside.</p><p> </p><p>Certain that he was now much closer to the time when he’d need to leave, Donghyuck glanced over at the clock, face falling when he realised he’d been gone less than half an hour.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> 8:45 </em>
</p><p> </p><p>The neon green digits on the display seemed to mock him as they flickered rapidly in the stillness. Hurrying over to the window, Donghyuck yanked open the thin curtains and then turned back to check again. Unsurprisingly, the number hadn't changed, lingering in its current configuration for a few seconds longer, before leisurely transitioning until to display a new time.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> 8:46 </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Three hours,” he said aloud, hoping that it might help to reassure him. “That’s not <em> that </em> long.” He paced slowly around the room, as though his exaggeratedly lethargic steps would somehow encourage the clock to move faster, and busied himself with tidying a few things he’d left out the night before. Then he made his bed, the first time he’d done that in living memory, before starting to methodically rearrange his closet into colour order.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> 9:12 </em>
</p><p> </p><p>With a sigh, Donghyuck shoved the last grey jacket into place on the far right of the colour gradient and flicked the wardrobe door shut. It clattered loudly as it met the frame at the base, but he ignored it as he flopped down on top of the neatly—more or less; he’d never fully absorbed Taeyong’s lessons on proper hospital corners—made bed.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> 9:13 </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Realising that the waiting was going to drive him insane, before the mystery arrival at the Annex had a chance to, Donghyuck sat up and flipped the alarm clock around so that it faced the wall, urging himself to try not to think about it. It didn't work at all—he could blame an impossibly impulsive personality for that—but he did manage a few agonising minutes of silent contemplation, staring up at the blank expanse of ceiling above his bed, before he reached for his phone again.</p><p> </p><p>It was still far too early, given that it was a weekday during winter break, but he knew of at least a handful of people who were likely to already be awake. One of those people was Jaemin, who never seemed to be able to resist the siren call of the sun for more than an hour in any reality, so Donghyuck navigated down to his contact and set the phone to loudspeaker, dropping it onto the newly crumpled sheets next to his left ear.</p><p> </p><p>“Good morning, sunshine!” Jaemin greeted him just a few seconds later, and Donghyuck couldn't help the toothy grin that spread across his face at the infectious cheer in the younger boy’s voice.</p><p> </p><p>After several long weeks of Donghyuck avoiding his friends, they had all been making a concerted effort to rally around him, especially after he’d come clean to Renjun and Jaemin as to the reasons for his self-imposed isolation. Add to that just how happy Jaemin had been in general lately, for reasons that were as obvious as they were endearing, and his greeting was like music to Donghyuck’s ears.</p><p> </p><p>“Morning, NaNa.” Donghyuck could practically hear the smile that unfolded on the other end at his response, so he continued. “I woke up early this morning, so I thought I’d call you first today. I didn't wake you, did I?”</p><p> </p><p>Without fail, each morning since his mea culpa, either Renjun or Jaemin had called to check in with him. He knew that they didn't mind doing it, since they reassured him of that fact almost every morning anyway, but he was still incredibly grateful for the effort. In fact, he strongly suspected that Jaemin would have been the one to call in a few hours anyway, once he was sure that Donghyuck would actually be awake, so it felt like a significant milestone to have flipped the pattern on its head this time.</p><p> </p><p>“Hardly.” Jaemin snorted indignantly, before a second voice piping up in the background silenced whatever he would have said next. Jaemin went quiet, listening intently, and then a soft clunk told Donghyuck that Jaemin’s phone had just been placed on a solid surface nearby.</p><p> </p><p>“Morning, Hyuck.” Renjun didn't sound nearly as chipper as his boyfriend, voice thick and entirely too coarse to sound comfortable, as Jaemin laughed airily in the background. Renjun sighed, scorning the younger boy, and addressed Donghyuck again. “Ignore Jaemin. He woke up exactly five minutes before you called. I should know, since I’m the poor sod who’s had to listen to him snore for the past hour, while I waited for him to wake up. He’s only this happy because I just made him coffee.”</p><p> </p><p>“In my defence, it’s excellent coffee,” Jaemin said quickly, and Renjun let out a satisfied grunt in response.</p><p> </p><p>“Late night?” Donghyuck asked teasingly, before realising that might come across entirely differently now that the pair were in a relationship, regardless of how new things still were between them. “Wait! Actually, no. I really don’t need to know.”</p><p> </p><p>“Shut up, Hyuck!” Renjun grumbled, as Jaemin made some sort of aborted choking sound near the receiver. “We watched movies with Jeno, and then fell asleep on the floor in Jaemin’s living room. Nothing else.”</p><p> </p><p>“Speak for yourself,” Jaemin interjected, sounding oddly offended by Renjun’s defensive tone. “I wasn’t watching the movie, and I know for a fact that Jeno wasn’t either.” He paused, as though debating whether to continue or not, and then took a deep breath. “I wouldn’t exactly say that noth—”</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck rolled onto his side, instinctively shying away from the rest of that sentence, as Jaemin let out a yelp of pain and a dull smacking sound echoed through the speaker. There was a muffled scratching, like someone was frantically covering the speaker on the other end with something synthetic, followed by faint voices talking quickly. Then the distortion vanished again, and Renjun’s voice filled the air around him.</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry about that, Hyuck-ah. NaNa likes to share a little bit too much sometimes.” He hesitated, and Donghyuck stifled a laugh at just how much Renjun sounded like he wanted to cringe into oblivion as he spoke. “We’re working on it.” </p><p> </p><p>“It’s fine, Injunie,” Donghyuck insisted, easing back into a more relaxed position on the bed now that the aural threat had passed. “I’m happy for you both. For all of you.”</p><p> </p><p>He meant it too, he realised, as he spoke the words. Not more than a week ago, he would have struggled to muster the requisite emotions to be glad about anything, no matter who it was that he was talking to, but here they were now. Still muted, like they were waking after a long hibernation, but present and tugging doggedly at his heartstrings.</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks.” Renjun fell silent for a moment, leaving Donghyuck to examine a small discoloured spot on the ceiling directly above him. It looked vaguely like a constellation, Donghyuck thought absently, as he waited for the older boy to voice whatever else was on his mind. “Is everything okay? You’re not usually up this early. Did you have another rough night?”</p><p> </p><p>Sadly, Donghyuck knew exactly what Renjun meant, given the far too frequent nights lately where he’d tossed and turned into the early hours, waking only to find that the fleeting glimpses of lost loved ones he saw in his dreams were starting to bleed through into his conscious mind. He’d talked to both Renjun and Jaemin about the dreams at length, and about the painful feelings that they yanked free each time, but today somehow felt different. He wouldn't let himself hope, not just yet, but his dream visitors didn't seem to haunt him in quite the same way today.</p><p> </p><p>“Actually, it was kind of a strange night, if I’m honest,” he explained. “That’s partly why I was calling.” When neither of his friends made a move to interrupt, silently waiting for him to share whatever he was comfortable with revealing, Donghyuck was struck by a sudden, powerful wave of gratefulness and love. He’d forgotten for a while, lost in his own misery, just how much these boys cared for him, but he was freshly determined not to forget again in a hurry.</p><p> </p><p>Five minutes later, he’d told them everything. There hadn't really been as much to explain as he’d first thought, the supremely affecting events of the early morning actually not taking up that much linear time, but they’d listened diligently throughout. When he was finished, he let his head loll to the side, until he was staring directly at the phone on the bed beside him, and waited for their response. Confusion, incredulity, disbelief; it didn’t matter. This morning, he thought, he could weather pretty much anything.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you really think it could be Johnny?” Jaemin asked, after a few moments of silence. As the words escaped his lips, the name previously unspoken now hanging heavily in the air above Donghyuck’s head, Renjun let out a soft gasp.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyuck, are you sure?” Renjun sounded hesitant, like he didn't want to accidentally say anything that might potentially upset him. “I know you didn't actually say the name, you rarely ever do anymore, but it seemed like that’s who you meant.” He paused, his breathing uneven. “If you’re right...”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ...It could change everything. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> You could go home. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>The unspoken words start to slowly coil themselves around the name still filling his consciousness with its sheer magnitude, and Donghyuck had to force the thought down before it could fully take flight. He trusted Dongyoung implicitly, that wasn't up for debate at this point, but he couldn't let himself be disappointed again. It didn't mean anything yet, he reminded himself, and it couldn’t until he saw the truth for himself.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know who else it could be.” He shrugged against the sheets, trying to appear nonchalant, although neither of his companions could see him. “Taeil-hyung has been talking a lot about a transfer student lately, so that <em>has </em>to be who they were going to pick up. And Dongyoung-hyung wouldn't have told me to come over unless it was important, so I don’t see how it can’t be him. I still don’t want to let myself believe it, just in case I’m wrong, but who else could it be?”</p><p> </p><p>“What about…?” Jaemin trailed off this time, not daring to even give voice to the only other name that lingered in the back of each of their minds. They had discussed him enough already to know exactly how much the final lost member of Donghyuck’s chosen family meant to him, and just how hard he’d taken the older boy’s absence over the months that had passed here, yet Donghyuck found himself suddenly wishing they weren't always quite so hesitant to bring him up.</p><p> </p><p> It wasn't like he was dead. By shying away from the subject, it was like they were all admitting he was gone forever, when the truth was that he was just missing from this reality like Johnny was. Out there somewhere, his best friend was still waiting for him to come home. The part of Donghyuck’s heart that was forever reserved for him, the part that would likely never heal or fade in his absence, held fast to that belief. One day, no matter how far in the future that day might be, they would be reunited.</p><p> </p><p>“Mark,” he said abruptly, forcing the syllables out like his life depended on it. “His name is Mark.” Jaemin hummed uncomfortably, the sound nasal and jarring, and Donghyuck quickly realised just how harsh his tone had become. “Sorry, Jaemin-ah. I didn't mean to snap at you. I just...”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s fine.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not fine,” he insisted. “I shouldn’t have lashed out.” Jaemin didn't try to correct him, which Donghyuck was grateful for, but he could practically feel the forgiveness radiating through the phone, despite the overwhelming silence. He smiled softly, accepting what was offered, before returning to the topic at hand. “As much as I want it to be, it can’t be him. I know that Jaehyun-hyung has mentioned before that the transfer is usually a junior or a senior, and Mark probably wouldn’t even have started college yet at this point.”</p><p> </p><p>He tried to think back through all the snippets of conversations he’d overheard the previous week, regretting the way he’d barely been paying attention to most of them. Something swam up through his memories, fragmented and faded but distinct enough to latch onto. “Besides, I’m pretty sure Dongyoung-hyung mentioned something about a US visa last week. I remember, because they were talking for ages about how complicated the approval process was there.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh,” Renjun said almost apologetically, but perked up a little as the finer details of Donghyuck words registered. “American though, right? You said Johnny was from, uh…”</p><p> </p><p>“Chicago,” Donghyuck supplied, deliberately pronouncing it in the Westernised way he’d heard his hyung say it so many times since they’d first met. It made him grin again, lips curling up at the corners, thanks to his poor imitation of the accent he’d so often begged to hear—and learn—more of, and he felt the spark inside him grow just a little more. “I don’t want to let myself hope, but I just can’t help it. I’ve missed him so much.”</p><p> </p><p>“Do you want us to come over?” Renjun asked, his question slicing through Donghyuck’s distraction. “We could go with you, if you need us to.”</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck’s heart swelled with affection once more as Jaemin quickly added his agreement, not hesitating for even a moment, but he already knew his answer. He was trying to be better at leaning on those around him for support, and at asking for help when he needed it. He’d called Jaemin this morning for that exact reason, and they’d already helped him more than he could thank them for in just a few minutes, but he was sure they already had plans today that didn't involve a fourth wheel.</p><p> </p><p>Besides, he thought determinedly, he needed to do this on his own. He wouldn't be alone, not with Dongyoung and the rest of his roommates around—not to mention the hundred other fraternity brothers just a garden away—but there was something about this moment that Donghyuck wanted to keep to himself for now. At least until he was sure of what the rest of the day would bring.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll be fine,” he told them both, thanking them for their offer. Then he quickly flipped the topic of conversation back onto them, not wanting to monopolise too much of their morning if they did have plans. “I’m sure you’re all busy anyway. Is Jeno lurking somewhere nearby?”</p><p> </p><p>He hadn't heard anyone else in the room with them so far, and didn't think they’d be speaking quite so freely if there was, but Donghyuck knew they’d all been together overnight. He didn't think Jeno would have strayed too far from either of them this early in the morning, unless it was unavoidable.</p><p> </p><p>“Not anymore,” Jaemin said with an audible pout. Donghyuck was pleasantly surprised to note the edge of disappointment in the younger boy’s voice, a dramatic change from just a few short weeks ago, but he wasn't about to start that particular conversation with Jaemin right at this moment. “He’s busy meeting up with some friends today, I think, so he left early to head home and change first. He refused to let us gatecrash, so Junie and I were just going to chill at mine and watch trashy drama reruns all day instead.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em> Someone </em>keeps telling me that we should order pizza while Jeno’s gone too, since he apparently eats way too healthily during soccer season for Jaemin’s grease-loving standards,” Renjun muttered, forcing a chuckle to escape Donghyuck’s lips. Jaemin huffed and started to protest, but Renjun cut him off. “I’m not saying no, you big baby. Just not at ten o’clock in the morning.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sounds like you two have an exciting day planned.” Donghyuck used a solitary finger to tilt the phone on the bed slightly towards him, so that he could see the time, realising that they had, in fact, been talking for the best part of an hour. He brightened, realising that it wasn't that long now until he’d need to be at the university, and then turned his attention back to the bickering still going on between his two friends on the other end of the phone. “I should leave you to it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Feel free to come over later, if you want to, Hyuckie,” Jaemin told him earnestly. Donghyuck agreed that he would let them know, although he suspected he would be far too wound up to go and eat pizza after his trip to the Annex, and then hung up.</p><p> </p><p>Stretching languidly, he got to his feet without any real hurry and retrieved a pair of socks from the perpetually open drawer set into the heavy base of his wardrobe. Then he grabbed his phone, keys and wallet, as well as a thick jacket for the cold weather outside, stuffing things into his pockets as he headed downstairs.</p><p> </p><p>He knew he would be early, leaving now, but he just couldn't wait at home anymore. Perhaps, after he parked up, things would feel more grounded and real. He could worry about the slow-moving clock then. At least, once he arrived, he could be ready, if Dongyoung sent him another message. He really couldn't wait another second.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck made excellent time, pulling up to the curb outside Alpha Beta Eta a few minutes after eleven. Idling the engine, so that the speaker set into the dash would continue to pump music from the radio out into the vehicle, he settled back into the driver’s seat and tried to convince himself that the next hour wouldn’t be torture.</p><p> </p><p>It took exactly four minutes to divest himself of that particular delusion, the numbers creeping even slower in the car than they had in his room, so he started to aimlessly flick through the channels on the radio. If he spotted a song he liked, he’d pause and sing a few bars, but nothing seemed to hold his attention for long. Eventually, he settled on a channel boasting a continuous line up of ‘<em> Modern Diva Anthems </em>’ and let the heavy baseline of the current song reverberate through every bone in his body.</p><p> </p><p>A loud tap on the window, several songs later, had him jumping in surprise. He blinked rapidly, quickly turning the volume down to a presentable level, and shifted in his seat to find two familiar faces peering in at him from the street outside. Ten was closest, nose almost plastered to the glass, while an abashed looking Kun hovered awkwardly at his elbow.</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck rolled down the window, then cut the car engine, causing the lilting IU ballad that had been playing to cut off abruptly. Ten leaned in further, resting an arm casually against the rubber lining where the glass had been, and grinned warmly at him. “Hi. It’s Hyuck, right?”</p><p> </p><p>“Donghyuck, yeah,” the younger boy offered, schooling the shock from his features just in time to return Ten's smile.</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry if we disturbed you, but I was surprised to see you sat out here in your car,” Ten told him. He glanced over his shoulder at Kun, who was doing his very best to look anywhere other than at the conversation taking place between them, before turning his attention back to Donghyuck. “We were just on our way to get lunch on campus. I thought I recognised the car, since it’s been here a lot lately, but there’s never usually anyone in it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh.” Donghyuck wasn't sure what to say to that, so he smiled politely at both of them through the open window. “I was waiting for Dongyoung-hyung, and I thought I’d listen to the radio while I waited.” When neither Ten nor Kun seemed to find anything strange about that statement, he hurried on. “It’s nice to see you again though, Ten-ssi.” He caught Kun’s eye as the older man shifted on his feet, and held it. “You too, Kun-ssi.”</p><p> </p><p>For a moment, Kun looked shocked, as though baffled as to how Donghyuck knew his name, but then he folded his expression into a pleasant half-smile. “It’s nice to meet you again too, Donghyuck. You’ll forgive me if I don’t remember the first time all that well.”</p><p> </p><p>That stung a little, Donghyuck had to admit, but he quickly reminded himself that the circumstances of their first meeting hadn't exactly been conducive to long-lasting memories. He had been predisposed to remember, after all; Kun had not. The man might have greeted hundreds of people at the door that night, before Donghyuck and his friends arrived. It was understandable that he’d forgotten.</p><p> </p><p>He was about to offer up a reminder, or perhaps to reintroduce himself to one of his most kind-hearted brothers, when Ten cut in instead. “Hyuck is Jaehyun’s little brother,” he said helpfully. Kun’s eyes didn't immediately alight with understanding, so he continued. “He came to the frat party with Xuxi a few weeks back.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ah.” At the mention of Yukhei’s name, something seemed to click inside Kun’s head, and he examined Donghyuck slowly once more. “I’d had a few drinks that night, but I think I remember now. I was on the door. You were with the group who all looked far too young to be at a college party, right?”</p><p> </p><p>“That would be us,” Donghyuck admitted, shrugging as well as his body half-twisted towards the door in his seat would allow. “Don’t worry. Yukhei-hyung took good care of us.” <em> Well, except for Jaemin. </em>He didn't add that part, however, figuring that it was probably better than Kun didn't know about his youngest friend’s drunken exploits that night.</p><p> </p><p>“Xuxi’s a good kid,” Kun said affectionately. “He’ll make a great pledge next year.” He smiled, thoughts drifting for a moment away from the car he stood beside and the boy inside it, but then he fixed Donghyuck with his intelligent gaze once again. “Tell him he’s welcome to bring you all back to the house any time. Preferably not for any more parties, for his sake and mine, but we’d be happy to show you around or host you all at one of our daytime mixers.”</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck nodded, making a mental note to pass on the message, as Kun informed Ten that their bus would be leaving soon. Ten glanced down at his watch, then over at Donghyuck, before patting his friend on the arm. “Go on ahead,” he told Kun. “I’ll catch you up in a few minutes. I just want to have a quick chat with Hyuck here first.”</p><p> </p><p>As Donghyuck tried to figure out exactly what he meant by that, Kun left carrying a backpack that looked far too heavy to be comfortable, and Ten gestured through the open window at the passenger seat beside him. “Can I?”</p><p> </p><p>Frowning, Donghyuck glanced over in the direction of the empty seat, trying to fathom exactly what Ten was asking him. He must have taken too long for Ten’s liking, because the man abruptly abandoned his position by the driver’s side door and circled the car, pulling open the door on the opposite side before Donghyuck had even opened his mouth.</p><p> </p><p>“May I get in?” Ten elaborated, patting the seat in front of him deliberately. “It looks a lot more comfortable than standing, and it’s cold out here. I thought you and I could maybe talk for a few minutes.” He hesitated, cocking his head to one side. “If that’s okay with you, of course, Hyuck-ah.”</p><p> </p><p>“A—ah. Yeah. Sure.” Donghyuck knew that he probably sounded like a complete idiot, but Ten hopped up into the car regardless, pulling the door closed behind him and immediately folding his legs up and under him on the cushioned seat. “What did you want to talk to me about?”</p><p> </p><p>If this had been his Ten, the one who knew his habits, hobbies and sense of humour like the back of his hand, Donghyuck thought he might have been able to predict Ten’s train of thought. He was no stranger to one of Ten’s infamous pep-talks—or stern reprimands, during their early years together, if he thought one of the younger members had stepped out of line—but this was entirely different. This was <em>not </em>his Ten, and the man currently seating beside him was still almost a completely blank book to Donghyuck.</p><p> </p><p>“I was talking to Yuta-hyung last week,” Ten began, capturing Donghyuck’s full attention without even trying. “He mentioned that you’d been struggling a bit lately.” Realisation hit Donghyuck then, and he wanted to look away from the earnest face staring back at him, but Ten’s expressive gaze wouldn't allow him to break free. “I know it’s not my place, but I wanted to see if you were feeling any better.”</p><p> </p><p>“I—” How he was going to navigate this verbal minefield, Donghyuck didn't know. On the one hand, he wanted to spill everything to the man who had, for many years, been one of his most faithful confidants. One the other, the two of them had so far met in this reality precisely once, and even that interaction had largely been filtered through Yuta. “I’m working on it.”</p><p> </p><p>Ten’s expression didn't change, carefully neutral as he stared at Donghyuck, but he thought that the corner of Ten’s lips quirked up just a little at his words. “Those boys really care about you,” Ten said after a brief silence. “I feel like I’ve heard more about you than about Sicheng over the past two weeks, and, coming from Yuta, that’s saying something.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry.” Donghyuck tried to hide his smile, but Ten’s sharp bark of laughter had it running riot across his lips. “They’re the best hyungs anyone could ask for.” He paused, considering his words carefully. “I was in a bit of a funk, but I feel a lot better now. He’ll be back to pining after Sicheng-hyung before you know it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Good to hear.” Ten blinked slowly, before fixing Donghyuck with another intensely thoughtful look. “I hope you don’t mind that Yuta talked to me. He was worried about you, and I don’t think he wanted to burden any of the others. He meant well.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t mind.” He really didn't, although it had been a surprise to hear Ten bring it up. He knew that Yuta had been concerned for him, as had the rest of his roommates, and it made sense that he might turn to a friend outside the house for support. In a way, even though Ten might never know why, Donghyuck was grateful that it was him.</p><p> </p><p>He could almost imagine a similar situation back home, navigating the storms of life with another Yuta and another Ten. If their roles had somehow been reversed, Donghyuck might have gone to Ten for advice himself. It was oddly comforting to know that some things didn't change.</p><p> </p><p>“I should go.” Ten’s eyes had shifted to the clock on the dash as Donghyuck was distracted by his thoughts. “Kun’s going to have my ass if I miss the bus.” He placed a hand lightly on the door handle, half depressing the button that would release the catch, and then turned back to look Donghyuck squarely in the eye. “If you ever need to talk, or if you need anything at all, come find me. I’ll help you however I can, Haechan-ah. Trust me when I say, I know what it’s like to feel homesick.”</p><p> </p><p>With that, he pushed the door open and climbed out onto the curb, leaving Donghyuck staring after him in disbelief. A thunk signalled the latch re-engaging, leaving him alone in the now silent vehicle, but he almost didn't notice. His eyes were locked on the head of jet black hair weaving its way through the steady contraflow of people on the sidewalk, heading for the bus stop.</p><p> </p><p>“What just happened?” he muttered to himself, shaking his head vigorously like it would allow him to make sense of the bizarre way that Ten had just ended their conversation. It didn't help, aside from making him feel mildly nauseated, so he leant back into the headrest behind him and let his gaze drift to the felt that lined the roof above his head.</p><p> </p><p>Yuta had not been party to most of the more revealing conversations he and Dongyoung had had over the past few months, he knew that for certain. Even before he’d taken up residence on their couch over winter break, they’d been careful not to be overheard before Donghyuck was ready to talk to Jaehyun, since he’d already decided that his brother deserved to be the first to know the truth. Sure, Dongyoung used his stage name on occasion in front of all of them, but there was no way Yuta could have figured out the significance of that, was there?</p><p> </p><p>Did that mean that Yuta knew? Donghyuck supposed he could have figured it out from scraps, if he was particularly diligent, but he’d never shown any sign of awareness before this. It also didn't explain Ten’s cryptic parting offer, but any other explanation he could muster up for that was entirely too far-fetched to give much credence to. Unless…</p><p> </p><p>A shrill buzzing noise, accompanied by a familiar vibration against his outer thigh, distracted him from his musings so fast that it almost made his head start to spin again. Retrieving the phone from his pocket, he tapped the screen to bring up the newest message. It was from Dongyoung.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Text me when you get here. I’m cooking, so I'll be in the kitchen. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>A neat flick of his thumb had the phone telling him that it was now a few minutes before twelve, Dongyoung proving to be nothing if not reliably punctual. Tapping out a quick response, Donghyuck grabbed his jacket from the back seat and pulled it on. He wouldn’t need it inside the Annex, but the stiff breeze swirling in through the window he had yet to close was icy enough that he knew he’d appreciate the extra shielding as he exited the car.</p><p> </p><p>A few short minutes later, Donghyuck found himself standing outside the small building to the rear of the main house, fist suspended in air as he tried to summon the courage to knock and announce his arrival. His entire essence was being inescapably drawn inside, like he was responding to a full-body homing beacon, but a sudden rush of nerves threatened to overwhelm him as he contemplated the reality of what might—and what would definitely not—be waiting for him on the other side of the door.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyung?” He took a deep breath and pushed firmly against the heavy wood, deciding against knocking as he stepped inside. He didn't know exactly which one of his family members he was calling for but, as Jaehyun’s head popped out of the open kitchen door to greet him, he decided it didn't really matter.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyuck-ah!” the man enthused, hurrying over to pull him into a tight embrace. Jaehyun’s lips met his hair, as they seemed to do more and more often lately, and then he was stepping back to stare down at his brother.</p><p> </p><p>Jaehyun’s hair was damp, like he’d recently stepped out of the shower, and his eyes were still heavy with sleep. However, he didn't look especially surprised to see Donghyuck, as his wide, affectionate smile exposed the barest hint of a dimple carved deep into both cheeks, so the younger boy assumed that Dongyoung must have pre-warned him.</p><p> </p><p>“Morning, hyung,” he said, returning the smile gratefully. He knew that Jaehyun wasn't aware of his nerves, or how tightly wound he was at that moment, but his presence was enough to have Donghyuck relaxing infinitesimally. He was still walking into the unknown, but he would have at least two of his brothers by his side as he did so.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyung mentioned you were coming,” Jaehyun confirmed helpfully, taking one of Donghyuck’s hands in his. “He’s even making brunch for everyone.” Jaehyun grinned conspiratorially down at him again, before starting to tug him bodily towards the kitchen. “He never does that kind of thing normally, so we should take full advantage of it while we can.”</p><p> </p><p>“That is not true, and you know it.” Dongyoung’s disgruntled voice preceded him into the living room, and the older man fixed Jaehyun with a steely gaze that promised retribution for his slander. Jaehyun wilted a little under its weight, mumbling a half-hearted apology, but the smirk didn't quite leave his lips. In response, Dongyoung’s expression softened and he patted Jaehyun’s arm gently, deftly wresting Donghyuck free from his brother’s grip at the same time.</p><p> </p><p>“Morning—or should I say afternoon, Donghyuck-ah.” The older man folded Donghyuck into a hug, neatly orienting them both so that their bodies were angled slightly away from Jaehyun. His breath ghosted over the shell of Donghyuck’s ear, and the younger boy stiffened slightly in his arms. “Before you go in there,” Dongyoung whispered, so low that Donghyuck had to strain to hear him, “there’s something you should know. It’s not—”</p><p> </p><p>“Dongyoung-ssi, I think your eggs are burning…” The new voice was deep, masculine and impossibly arresting. Dongyoung froze, both arms still looped tightly around Donghyuck’s waist. He shifted their positions a little further, like he wanted to try and shield the younger boy from the man who had just stepped out into the small room behind him, but there was no mistaking that unique cadence.</p><p> </p><p>The air left Donghyuck’s lungs in a gust, and he sucked in a long, shaky replacement breath. He tightened his grip on Dongyoung’s shirt sleeve for a moment, the room falling eerily silent around the two of them as he fought to compose himself, but then he pressed down lightly and Dongyoung released him. Donghyuck caught a glimpse as he moved, dark brown hair framing an achingly familiar face, and then Dongyoung stepped aside to reveal the man he’d tortured himself relentlessly over for months.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyuck, this is…” Jaehyun started to speak, but the words were tumbling out of Donghyuck’s mouth before he could register just how much of a bad idea they would be.</p><p> </p><p>“Johnny-hyung!”</p><p> </p><p>Moisture clouded his vision and he started to take a step towards the tall man, before Dongyoung’s hand on his shoulder rooted him in place. He was grateful for the restraint, convinced that he would launch himself at Johnny otherwise, watching instead as confusion flitted across his handsome face.</p><p> </p><p>“Do I know you?”</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck’s gaze flicked unbidden to Dongyoung’s face, hoping that his new shadow might be able to come up with an explanation that would save him from sounding highly disrespectful—not to mention clairvoyant, in that he was definitely not supposed to know Johnny’s name just yet. However, Dongyoung looked about as dumbstruck as he felt, a look of pure panic dawning across his face as he stared from Johnny to Donghyuck and back.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t mind Hyuck.” Donghyuck’s head snapped up at the sound of Jaehyun’s voice, his distinctive timbre filling the room with every word. Dongyoung’s eyes widened in shock as they stared at each other, and he opened his mouth to—well, Donghyuck didn't know exactly what he would have done, because Jaehyun started to speak again, stepping closer to Johnny as he did so.</p><p> </p><p>“This is my little brother, Donghyuck,” Jaehyun told him. “I mentioned to him last night that we were picking you up from the airport this morning, and he was really eager to meet you.” He grinned, like he was telling an amusing anecdote instead of blatantly lying through his teeth. “He sometimes forgets his manners, but what can you do?” Jaehyun chuckled then, the sound so artificial that it was almost painful, but Johnny nodded in understanding. “Siblings can be a real pain in the ass sometimes, but you love them anyway.”</p><p> </p><p>For a long, agonising moment, no one spoke. Donghyuck stared in disbelief at his brother, trying to wrap his head around the fact that Jaehyun had just lied to cover for him, while Dongyoung’s grip on his shoulder blade tightened to the point where it was almost painful. Johnny seemed equally stunned, keen eyes scanning the trio with bemused interest, but then he offered up a smile that was entirely too warm to be fake.</p><p> </p><p>“I know the feeling,” he told Jaehyun, taking a step towards him and clapping a large hand down onto the younger man’s shoulder. “We don’t use honorifics often in the US, so I don’t mind.” He turned his gaze, still sparking with amusement, onto Donghyuck, and grinned down at him in a way that made Donghyuck’s heart clench. “If <em>hyung </em>makes you feel more at ease, I’m okay with that. It’s nice to meet you, Donghyuck-ah.”</p><p> </p><p>“T—thanks, hyung,” Donghyuck managed to choke out, and then Johnny was right there in front of him, stepping into his personal space. Dongyoung took a faltering step backwards behind him, his hand slipping off Donghyuck’s shoulder, and the loss of the anchoring touch felt like Donghyuck had been burned. There was just Johnny, so close he could reach out and touch him, and it was too much and not enough at the same time.</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t need to be so nervous,” Johnny continued, looming over him in a way that had Donghyuck craning his neck to look up at him. The man smiled, a soft, knowing grin that seemed to be directed solely at Donghyuck, and then he shrugged. As he did so, both of his arms lifted on either side of him, the fabric of his shirt stretching tight across his chest as he moved. Donghyuck trembled, clenching his fists tightly at his sides, and Johnny’s keen gaze tracked the movement. “Hey, you’re shaking. I swear I’m not that scar—”</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck would later blame a lack of oxygen, or the absence of Dongyoung’s steadying grip on his shoulder, but the truth was that he just couldn't hold it in any longer. His body instinctively urging him forward, he rocked back on his heels and then practically face-planted into Johnny’s abdomen, arms coming up to wrap securely around the man’s waist as he lost all semblance of propriety.</p><p> </p><p>For a moment, Johnny didn't react, appearing to have been stunned into inactivity by Donghyuck’s entirely too forward gesture, and the boy feared that he might push him away. The last thing he wanted to do was to make Johnny uncomfortable, the remaining functioning part of his brain knew that, but he hadn't been able to help himself.</p><p> </p><p>Then Johnny’s hand was pressing into the small of his back, pulling Donghyuck in closer to him, and Donghyuck never wanted him to let go. He was vaguely aware that there were two other people in this room, one of whom would have no idea why he’d suddenly thrown himself at a complete stranger, and yet, as he breathed in the fresh, earthy scent of Johnny’s shirt beneath his cheek, he couldn't bring himself to care.</p><p> </p><p>They stood there for what felt like forever, but was, in reality, less than a minute, Donghyuck content simply to exist in Johnny’s presence. Then a hand patted his hair gently, fingers tracing lightly through the strands and tickling the flesh above his right ear, and he remembered with sudden clarity that this was not <em>his</em> Johnny and that he had likely pushed his luck way too far already for one day.</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry about that,” he mumbled, starting to step back. Johnny’s strong arms took a few seconds to finally release him but, when they finally did, Donghyuck was relieved to see that the older man didn't look especially annoyed to have been assaulted by his new roommate's little brother on his first day in the country. “I didn't mean to—”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s okay,” Johnny reassured him, reaching up to ruffle Donghyuck’s hair again. He smiled again, the expression so achingly familiar that it felt like it punched him right in the chest, and Donghyuck couldn't help the way his lips curled up to mirror it. “You’re a good kid. You actually remind me a lot of my own brother.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> His own brother? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Johnny was an only child. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>As Johnny stepped away and turned back towards the kitchen, that thought filtered into Donghyuck’s brain and caused it to malfunction for the second time in about as many minutes. He glanced beseechingly over his shoulder at Dongyoung, who was already watching him intently from a safe distance, and the man hurried back to his side.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyuck, you should know—”</p><p> </p><p>Once again, Dongyoung was interrupted mid-sentence, both of them glancing over in time to see Johnny sliding a hand into the pocket of his sweats. “Speaking of siblings,” he was saying to Jaehyun, as he started to move towards the stairs set into the far wall of the living room. “Mine is going to be very late, if he doesn’t hurry up.”</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck watched as Johnny hooked an elbow around the bannister at the base of the stairs, leaning forward until he could peer up at the balcony above. He shifted his weight a little, as he scanned the space for something—or someone—and then he frowned. “Hey, bro.” The English word was one Donghyuck knew well, so he knew that it didn't have to refer to an actual sibling, but it still made his blood run cold. “If you don’t leave soon, you’re going to be late.”</p><p> </p><p>“Who…?” Dongyoung’s fingers curled around Donghyuck’s hand, his grip so vice-like that Donghyuck thought the man might never let go, and then his lips were at his ear again.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry, Hyuck-ah,” he whispered, giving Donghyuck’s hand another tight squeeze. “I tried to tell you, but—”</p><p> </p><p>Above their heads, the floorboards creaked ominously. Several thunderous footsteps sounded along the corridor upstairs, each one like a single, sonorous drumbeat inside Donghyuck’s chest, before the house fell silent. There was nothing for a long moment, as the very air around them seemed to wait with bated breath, and then a new voice answered Johnny. “I’ll be down in a second, hyung.”</p><p> </p><p>“Mark.” The word drifted like a prayer from Donghyuck’s tongue, audible only to the man currently clinging to him like an anchor in a storm, and then there were heavy footfalls on the stairs. A pair of white sneakers hoved into view, followed by dark jeans and a baggy green sweatshirt. Donghyuck’s eyes slowly followed the slim line of his body all the way up, until he met a pair of startled brown eyes that stared back at him from a face he knew better than his own.</p><p> </p><p>Mark almost tripped, front foot adrift in empty space as he came to an abrupt halt on the very bottom step, his previous trajectory abandoned as he continued to stare at Donghyuck like he'd just seen a ghost. The boy’s lips parted, forming a perfect ‘<em>o</em>’, and time seemed to freeze. Donghyuck distantly felt Dongyoung squeezing his hand, from what felt like a million miles away, but he couldn’t bring himself to look away from his best friend's face.</p><p> </p><p>Mark swallowed loudly, Adam’s apple bobbing wildly in his throat, and then mouthed two words into the ensuing silence.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>It’s you!</em>”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So... I know I kind of lied to you a little bit up top, but, in my defence, hopefully the reveal made up for it. I think only one person in the comments predicted this outcome exactly, so I'm guessing this might come as a surprise to one or two people. Either way, it's been a long time coming, and I'm so relieved to finally have this chapter out of the way.</p><p>If you have thoughts, feel free to share them here or on Twitter (which I'm really trying to use more actively for updates and general human interaction). As always, feedback of any kind is much appreciated.</p><p>Have a wonderful day! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0046"><h2>46. Chapter 46</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I know... it's not Thursday. Big surprise, but it is the Dreamies 4th Anniversary Day, so it seemed oddly fitting! Plus, I made good time with work today, so I took advantage and managed to finish this off after my final meeting this afternoon.</p><p>This one is a little dialogue heavy, for reasons that will be obvious after a bit, so, hopefully, it flows okay. Unfortunately, for us to get through all the answers we need (which will come thick and fast for the next few chapters), Hyuck's got a lot of talking to do. Hang in there with me, and I'll do my best to make it readable!</p><p>P.S. You know that thing that some of you joked about in the comments like six chapters ago? Well, yeah. You were right. (You'll see what I mean.)</p><p>TW: Mentioned minor character death. You can probably guess from context what that implies, but I just want to make you aware.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>It’s you!</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If he hadn’t been so hyper-focused on Mark’s face, Donghyuck might almost have been able to convince himself that he’d been mistaken. That there was no way those words could have come from Mark’s lips, in much the same way that there was no way Mark was really here with him right now. It was impossible, unbelievable, incomprehensible—and yet, there Mark stood, staring at him like they had never been apart.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For a handful of seconds, no one spoke. Mark’s gaze stayed locked on Donghyuck’s face, like he worried the younger boy might disappear if he looked away, and, for his part, Donghyuck thought he’d be damned if he ever let Mark out of his sight again. Beside him, Dongyoung had given up trying to attract his attention, content just to hold fast to his hand for as long as he needed, while Jaehyun on his other side didn't seem to be able to decide where to look.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was Johnny who broke first, stepping towards his brother and asking him something in English that Donghyuck didn't understand. When Mark didn't immediately respond, Johnny shifted his stance, temporarily blocking Mark’s face from view. With their connection lost, Donghyuck’s chest started to tighten uncomfortably, for reasons he couldn’t begin to explain, but then Mark neatly took a step to the right and met his gaze again over Johnny’s shoulder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay?” This time Johnny spoke in Korean and, for some reason, his words finally seemed to register with the boy still welded to the bottom step of the staircase. Mark blinked, reluctantly tearing his eyes from Donghyuck just long enough to address his brother. Even standing a full step below him, Johnny still towered over Mark, causing him to have to tilt his head to look at the man.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s him,” Mark said almost reverently. There was no mistaking his words the second time, voice ringing out clear and irrefutable in the otherwise silent room, and Donghyuck heard Jaehyun inhale sharply beside him. His brother didn't say anything more, attention still focused on Mark and Johnny as Donghyuck’s was, but he did take a single step closer until their elbows brushed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You mean…?” Johnny let his question trail off suggestively, but Mark must have known what he was asking, because he nodded. At that, Johnny turned to assess Donghyuck again, his eyes far more calculating now as they swept the boy glacially from head to toe. Donghyuck wasn't sure what Johnny saw—or if he approved—because he turned back to look at his brother too quickly for the shift in his expression to be readable. “Are you sure?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. I am.” Despite the thick layers of confusion and ill-content that blanketed the room, Mark smiled beatifically at his brother and then at Donghyuck. It was so innocently joyful that the younger boy briefly wondered if this Mark might be some kind of angel, but then Mark placed a hand on Johnny’s forearm and looked away. “I don’t know how, but it’s him, hyung. I know it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay. Wow.” Johnny went utterly still for a moment and then stepped lithely to one side, turning as he moved to allow him to survey the other three people in the room pensively. He let out a single soft, disbelieving chuckle, lips parting to reveal just a hint of pearly whites, and then he sobered just as quickly. “I honestly did not see that coming.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For another long moment, the room lapsed into contemplative silence, each of them absorbed in their own thoughts. Donghyuck couldn’t stop himself from tracing Mark’s silhouette once again, noting the way that his clothes were baggy and ill-fitting, like he’d borrowed them from Johnny in a hurry and had simply rolled up the cuffs. He was younger too, his face fuller and softer than the Mark he knew, and his hair was dark, healthier than Donghyuck had seen it in years.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Beyond all of that, though, he was still undeniably Mark. He telegraphed it in the way he held himself, arms swinging awkwardly at his sides like he’d never quite grown into his own limbs. His feet shuffled from side to side with endearing, nervous energy—now that he’d finally remembered to stand on two legs again—and those eyes boring into Donghyuck’s soul were the same ones that had never once failed to get him anything he wanted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was no one like Mark in the entire universe, Donghyuck thought resolutely, as he traced the curve of Mark’s nose back up to meet his eyes. Not even an entirely different set of circumstances and life experiences could change that. This was his Mark, his best friend, and he was here. Oh fuck, he was here. He was finally here, and all Donghyuck needed to do was figure out how to forge that unbreakable bond all over again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I, uh—” At the sound of Jaehyun’s voice, four sets of eyes flicked across to his face and he cleared his throat abashedly. “I was going to introduce the two of you, but it seems like that’s not necessary.” Jaehyun glanced over at Donghyuck, squarely meeting his eye as he continued to speak. “It’s not exactly a common name around here, so I really should have known, I guess.” He smiled then, as Donghyuck’s brows shot up in surprise, and leaned in to whisper in the younger boy’s ear. “I’m glad you finally found him, Hyuck-ah.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jae—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Realisation came to Donghyuck all at once, like the final pieces of a puzzle being slotted neatly into place to reveal an image previously rendered unrecognisable. Jaehyun </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span>. There was no other way to explain his words, or the way that his face, even now, conveyed not a trace of surprise at the situation they found themselves in. Instead, he looked resigned—and more than a little disappointed, although Donghyuck couldn't fully decipher that whirlwind of emotion before it was replaced by carefully crafted neutrality.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let’s go and check on your eggs, hyung.” Jaehyun shifted his gaze from his brother to Dongyoung, who had been watching their interaction with mute interest, and inclined his head towards the open kitchen door. “The others will be up soon, and they won’t want to eat burned food any more than I do.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But…” Again, Donghyuck tried to speak, but Jaehyun cut him off with a single look. It was empathetic and his tone held much of his usual affection, but there was a sharp edge to both that spoke of a man who was not nearly as at ease as he appeared on the outside.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not now, little brother,” Jaehyun insisted, stepping away from Donghyuck’s side and heading towards the kitchen. He hesitated, and then turned back. “I’m not going anywhere, but someone else needs you more than I do right now, so you should talk to him first.” Jaehyun sighed, unaffected expression slipping for just a second, and then he turned away like he couldn’t bear to look at Donghyuck for a second longer. “I’ll understand if you don’t, but, if you want to talk to me after you’re done, come and find me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With that, he disappeared, heading into the kitchen and closing the door with a dull thud behind him. A few seconds later, Donghyuck heard music start up from beyond the door, loud enough to drown out any conversation that might be taking place outside. Still staring at the door in shock, he almost didn't notice Dongyoung moving, until the man was right in front of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll talk to Jaehyunie,” Dongyoung told him. “There’s a lot going on that he still doesn't understand, so he’s probably just frustrated.” He flashed Donghyuck a reassuring smile, which didn't quite reach his eyes, and then turned to follow Jaehyun.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He knows.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” Dongyoung paused mid-stride, looking back over his shoulder. Donghyuck could see the denial in the set of the older man’s jaw, but he could no longer deny the evidence laid out before him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He </span>
  <em>
    <span>knows</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I don’t know how he knows, but he </span>
  <em>
    <span>has</span>
  </em>
  <span> to.” Donghyuck took a deep breath, lip trembling just a little as he tried to ignore the two wide-eyed eavesdroppers pretending that they weren’t listening in on the exchange. “I’m out of time for good, hyung. Maybe even forever.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was only a matter of logistics now, Donghyuck reasoned, as Dongyoung processed his words. He’d been hoping for just a little more time, a few more hours to figure out how to salvage a doomed relationship with the brother he’d lied to and deceived more than any man should ever have to forgive. He couldn't see a way out of this, except to lose Jaehyun all over again, but he had still hoped to stave off the inevitable for just one more day, one more week, one more…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’ll be okay,” Dongyoung told him, the unwavering faith in his voice a welcome change from the fear rapidly creeping back into Donghyuck’s mind. He smiled again then, and it was almost enough to help to keep a few of Donghyuck’s more persistent demons at bay for just a little while longer. “I’ll talk to him, and it’ll all be okay. You’ll see!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>While they’d been talking, Johnny and Mark had started conversing quietly in English across the other side of the room. As Dongyoung left, the music growing loudly temporarily as he eased the kitchen door open and slipped inside, he caught a few familiar words and realised that they were talking about the time. As he watched, Johnny glanced down at his watch, showing it to Mark for a moment, before Mark shook his head resolutely.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re going to be late, aren’t you?” Donghyuck wasn't sure why he spoke the words, but he remembered Johnny’s comment from earlier and realised that must be what they had been debating. At the sound of his voice, the pair broke apart, lurching back from one another like they’d been burned. Two sets of eyes sought out Donghyuck’s face, Mark’s sheepish expression juxtaposing Johnny’s stoic one perfectly, and he shied away a little from their heavy gaze. “I—your brother said you would be late. I don’t want you to have to be late, not because of…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Because of me.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He couldn't finish that statement, couldn't give voice to the truth that hung over all three of them. Mark looked conflicted, glancing down at Johnny’s watch again and then over to the main entrance, before his gaze was drawn like a magnet back to Donghyuck’s face. Johnny, to his credit, didn't berate him again, simply waiting to see what decision his brother would come to.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He—” Mark stammered, choking on his words. “I can call him and cancel.” He started to pull out his phone from the front pocket of his sweatshirt, and then groaned. “My contract won’t work here yet, will it? Shit! He’s probably already left home by now too.” His eyes bored in Donghyuck’s beseechingly, as though begging him to come up with a solution, but Donghyuck could only dream of being that prescient.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just go,” he insisted, when Johnny immediately didn't offer up anything helpful. “It’s okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mark sighed again, and his lips thinned into a tense line. He seemed to be struggling to figure out what he wanted to say, grappling with his words as the seconds ticked by and Johnny glanced surreptitiously at his watch again. “You always leave,” he said after a moment, and this time it was Donghyuck’s turn to be struck dumb. “You’re always gone, whenever I look away, and I can’t let it happen again. Not without getting some answers.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” Donghyuck was sure that he sounded like a total fool, but there was suddenly a gaping chasm in his mind where all logical thought had once existed. In a million years, he could never have imagined the Mark of this reality expressing—so succinctly that it made him want to weep—exactly what he was feeling in his heart at that very moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In an instant, all his theories, any vague inkling of how Mark might have come to manifest in his brother’s living room, vanished without a trace, leaving only confusion and more unanswered questions in their wake. “I’m not going anywhere. I promise,” he finally managed to murmur.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Walk with me!” Mark blurted the words like he’d surprised even himself with them, and then clamped his lips shut, eyes blowing wide and brows dancing in surprise.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Huh?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mark flushed, his pale skin tone making the gesture impossible to ignore, but then he quickly tried to explain. “Walk with me. I need to catch the bus to the university campus to meet my friend, but we can’t just pretend you didn't hear what I said. Walk with me to the bus stop, so we can maybe talk about it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I heard absolutely nothing,” the younger boy quipped, the lightness of the instinctual teasing words a welcome reprieve from the swell of thoughts and emotions still crashing around inside his head. Mark laughed in response, the sound full and unashamedly loud, and it was everything Donghyuck had forgotten he was missing, the sound dragging him right back into his very fondest memories.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck’s heart leapt in his chest, beating harder and faster with each new jolt of adrenaline that was released into his bloodstream, and he never wanted Mark to stop. Yet, deep down, he also knew that they desperately needed to address the elephant in the room first, before that became his new mission in this life. “If you want, though, I can pretend it never happened?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn't want to make that promise. He desperately wanted answers, about as much as Mark seemed to want them in return, but he wasn't going to force him into anything. He had just got his best friend back, even if Mark didn't seem to understand exactly what they were to each other in this reality yet, and Donghyuck wasn't about to push him away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, it’s fine. We should talk,” Mark insisted, shaking his head as his smile slowly faded. “Please walk with me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This time, he climbed purposefully down from the stair he’d been trapped on for the past ten minutes, and took a single, hesitant step in Donghyuck’s direction. It was as though he was testing the waters, trying to see if the younger boy would shy away, but Donghyuck knew that he couldn't even if he wanted to. This was Mark, after all. He’d follow this boy to the ends of the earth and back, if he asked, just to see how long it would take.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Really?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck just nodded, and Mark took this as his cue to cross the remaining distance between them. Behind him, Johnny looked on with an odd mix of concern and pride on his face, but he made sure to smile encouragingly when he noticed Donghyuck watching him. “I’ll just, uh, join my new roommates in the kitchen,” he told them. “Mark, don’t be back too late.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A moment later, the kitchen door slammed shut for a third time, and it was finally just the two of them alone in the living room. Mark quickly strode over to the coffee table, retrieving a small backpack and a black baseball cap, which he pulled on over his dark hair, and then turned to look back at the boy still rooted to the floor in the middle of the room, staring at him transfixed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You coming?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck just nodded again, as Mark slung the backpack over one shoulder and pushed open the door, then silently followed him out into the garden and up towards the house. Mark walked beside him, so close as they navigated the long corridors of the main building that their fingers occasionally brushed together, but neither of them tried to initiate conversation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Instead, they both seemed to come to an unspoken, mutual agreement to wait until they were out on the street at the front, stepping deftly out into the empty road to avoid a group of students crowding the sidewalk as they passed. Only then did Mark glance over at Donghyuck again, humming softly to entice the younger boy to meet his eye.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So…” Donghyuck paused, face screwing up in thought, and then he started again. “What exactly did you mean before when you said it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>? It felt like you already knew me, but your plane only landed this morning.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He sincerely hoped that he wasn't missing something crucial, like the other Donghyuck meeting Mark on some extended trip to the US as a child that Renjun had neglected to mention, but he thought that Johnny would have recognised him too if that was the case. Or maybe Mark had visited here before, but then that didn't explain why Jaehyun didn't recognise either of them. Unless Mark had somehow followed him here, and was now being deliberately obtuse just to mess with him, he didn't have any other bright ideas.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, yeah. That.” For what felt like forever, as they walked side by side on the asphalt, the wind tugging at the lapels of Donghyuck’s jacket, it seemed like Mark wasn't going to answer. Eventually, however, he took another sidestep closer, until their shoulders bumped together in a way that wasn't entirely pleasant, and took a deep breath. “I saw you for the first time about four months ago.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck counted back in his head, estimating that that would put them somewhere between late August and early September in this timeline—entirely too close to the date of his arrival here to be mere coincidence, he realised. He didn't actually say any of that out loud though, deciding to keep his secrets close to his chest until he got the full story from Mark’s perspective, and just waited for him to continue.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t usually remember my dreams,” Mark told him. “I get fragments sometimes, tiny snippets that fade almost as soon as I wake up, but, for whatever reason, that night was different. That night… I saw you.” Mark abruptly stopped walking, Donghyuck quickly followed suit when he realised, and they turned to face one another. The older boy’s eyes were shadowed, almost wary, but the earnest intensity that still penetrated the facade was almost overwhelming.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I remember being in this vast, white nothingness. It could have been miles across, or just a few metres, but I couldn't see the edge in any direction. Instead, I could just see this single, shadowy figure in the distance. I called out and ran towards them, hoping that they would turn around and see me. I ran for what felt like hours, until I couldn't run anymore, and then, finally... you did.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You,” Mark agreed, a soft smile playing across his lips as he stared down at the younger boy. “In that unending emptiness, you suddenly turned around and looked right at me. You looked me dead in the eye, kind of like you’re doing right now, except that it was like you saw inside of me—</span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> saw me. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> me.” He paused, head snapping up as a car swerved slightly to avoid the two boys huddled almost nose to nose together in the road. “Come on. Let’s keep walking.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As they made their way across to the far curb, which was far less well-populated, Donghyuck found his eyes tracing the soft lines of Mark’s jaw, so different and yet so similar to the face he loved. It was as though someone had simply turned back time, and he was once again seeing the Mark that he’d first fallen for. He wondered, if he looked away, whether this Mark might simply cease to be again, just like Mark had seemed to fear would happen to him back in the house.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As if attuned to his thoughts, the older boy met his eye again. “It only happened once,” Mark elaborated, stuffing the hand closest to Donghyuck deep into his pocket. “It was odd. I woke up feeling tired and, for some reason, really, like, irrationally upset. Angry, even.” He paused. “That sounds ridiculous, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For the first time in a long time, Donghyuck let his mind wander back, to the events of the night when he’d been torn from his home and first brought here. Mark had pretty perfectly just summarised how Donghyuck had felt that night, and how he’d woken the following morning. He couldn't be certain that the two events lined up perfectly, but he’d be willing to wager a healthy sum of money that they had. It was the only thing that made sense.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You might be surprised,” he murmured, low enough that he hoped Mark wouldn’t be able to hear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Never mind.” Donghyuck flashed Mark another winning smile, hoping to distract him. From the stunned look on Mark’s face, it worked, because the boy suddenly sped up like he had the wind at his heels, forcing Donghyuck to jog a little to catch up. “So what happened next?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I—nothing happened.” Mark sounded disappointed by his admission, and the frown on his lips made Donghyuck want to reach out and push the corners back into place again, but he didn't have the chance to act on it before Mark was speaking again. “I mean, I didn't tell anyone about it, if that’s what you’re wondering. It was only a dream—or so I thought—so I tried to just forget about it.” He chuckled harshly. “Almost succeeded too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Almost?” Donghyuck didn't miss the emphasis placed on the word, or the way that Mark hadn't been able to maintain eye contact as he’d said it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Mark agreed. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Almost.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” He looked like he wanted to say something else, perhaps something to help elucidate his cryptic words, but then he was moving on and leaving Donghyuck in the metaphorical dust once again. “I thought that would be it. One weird dream, and an odd sensation that stuck with me for a couple of days, but then it happened again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck wanted to focus on that very last part, on the impending culmination of whatever Mark was trying to tell him, but his mind caught on to something else entirely. “What do you mean, an odd sensation?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mark hesitated, eyeing him with confusion, but indulged the weird question anyway. “Like I’d been struck by electricity,” he explained. “Although I was physically fine, my whole body ached. Not to mention, I woke up with a really bad headache.” He frowned again, and Donghyuck looked away before Mark could see the understanding slowly dawning in his eyes. “It stuck with me for days afterwards.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Weird,” was all Donghyuck said in response, as they reached the bus stop and joined a short queue of students that milled about in and around the small metal structure. “You said it happened again, after that. When exactly?” Donghyuck suspected he knew, or could guess pretty close based on his growing suspicions, but he needed Mark to confirm it before he started to get ahead of himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It was a few weeks ago. A dream, just like the first time, but this one was different.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Different how?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Different because I actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>saw</span>
  </em>
  <span> you. The real you.” Mark was the one to look away now, staring off into space as though he were intently looking out for the bus to arrive. “I mean, I can’t be sure, but it looked like it was real. You were…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He flushed and, on instinct, Donghyuck’s brain started to rapidly cycle through every single thing he’d said or done over the past month. He’d taken showers, been to classes, camped out on Dongyoung’s lap in the Annex for days on end eating Yuta’s emergency candy supply…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please don’t let it be something I’m going to regret,” he muttered under his breath, but Mark’s head whipped back around to look at him anyway. His expression was guarded and neutral, but it couldn't hide the hint of sadness in his expressive eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You were crying.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” Donghyuck hadn't been expecting that, although he thought that he probably should have. He’d certainly done plenty of that over the past month, at least until he’d started to pull himself together and work on his emotional well-being recently, with the help of his friends. “I’m sorry you had to see that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be,” Mark said quietly, lowering his voice so that the people around them wouldn't be tempted to listen in. “I just wish you didn't have to be alone through that. Nobody was there for you, and I was—well, I didn't know where you were, or if you were even real, but I knew that you were hurting and that you were alone.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not alone anymore,” Donghyuck interjected, hoping that Mark could read the truth in his eyes. He didn't want the boy beating himself up over something that was beyond his control, not when they were finally reunited—or united, as the case might be in this reality. “I worked through it with some help from my friends and family, and I have them now.”</span>
  <em>
    <span> I have you.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You do?” Donghyuck’s eyebrows disappeared into his hairline and he cocked his head to one side quizzically.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” Mark seemed embarrassed by this latest confession, but he answered Donghyuck’s question regardless. “This time, it wasn't just one dream. I started to see you almost every time I closed my eyes. Only brief glimpses at a time; it’s not like I was with you all night—or, I guess, all day for you—while I slept, but I saw enough. You slowly started to get happier again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mark hesitated, one hand reaching out like he wanted to take Donghyuck’s in his, but then he let it fall back down to his side again. “I hope you don’t think I intruded in some way. I didn't know that you actually existed, or I would have tried harder to stop it. I would have...”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stopped sleeping? Taped your eyes open? Neither of those are very practical solutions.” Donghyuck closed the short distance that Mark had seemed so reticent to breach, and laid a hand gently on his arm. Mark’s eyes fluttered closed momentarily at his touch, even through the thick fabric of his sweatshirt, before he blinked and returned his gaze unerringly to Donghyuck. The younger boy smiled. “It’s okay. I don’t mind. I also don’t think it was you that was causing those dreams, for the record.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In fact, Donghyuck would be willing to bet that it had absolutely nothing to do with this Mark, the one who had never met Lee Donghyuck in the flesh before today, and had everything to do with Lee Haechan, the selfish boy from another reality who was still madly in love with his best friend. This Mark was just caught in the crossfire of Haechan’s mistakes, as this reality’s Donghyuck had been.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How did you end up in Korea?” Donghyuck asked quickly, changing the subject before Mark could start to question his final admission. He knew that Mark would eventually want him to share his story in return, just like he knew that Jaehyun was well overdue for the same courtesy, but there was still so much that Mark didn’t yet understand. “You and Johnny-hyung are from America, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The bus chose that moment to arrive, hissing loudly as it pulled up beside the bus stop and started to offload students returning home from campus. Mark didn't respond immediately, pulling out his wallet as he led Donghyuck over towards the vehicle. When it was their turn to board, neither of them commented on the fact that Donghyuck followed Mark inside without question, or how Mark paid for both of them without hesitation. Instead, they just found a seat near the back and sat down side by side.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m originally from Canada,” Mark offered, after the bus started to move again, quickly picking up speed. Of course, Donghyuck knew that all too well, but clearly something was different in this reality compared to his own. Something had changed, to bring Mark and Johnny together as brothers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They quickly passed the frat house and Donghyuck’s car parked out front, but neither of them spared the view a second glance as Mark continued. “My parents died when I was really young. I spent some time with my grandmother after that, but then I was eventually adopted by Johnny’s parents when I was six. I think they were distant relatives or something, but, until I moved to Chicago, I’d never met them.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mark, I’m so sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck didn't know if Mark’s parents in this reality would have become the same people that Donghyuck knew, but he also knew that his Mark loved them with every fibre of his being. To imagine losing them so young, for this Mark to have grown up without them, was horrifying. Donghyuck briefly considered wrapping a comforting arm around the older boy but, when he took in the tense set of Mark’s shoulders and the pain in his eyes, he thought twice and folded his hands in his lap instead.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It was a long time ago,” Mark said earnestly. “Mr and Mrs Seo—mom and dad—are the best adoptive parents that I could have ever asked for. They’re like my… no, they </span>
  <em>
    <span>are</span>
  </em>
  <span> my parents. In every way except biological, I’m their son.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck nodded, and Mark again took that as his cue to continue where they’d left off. “Anyway, I live in the US now,” he explained. “Or, at least, I did until yesterday. After about a week of seeing you every single time I closed my eyes, I finally told Johnny about my dreams.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He chuckled again, his tone mercifully much lighter than before, and Donghyuck had to stop himself leaning into Mark’s side to get closer to the sound. “He thought I was crazy at first, but then I kept having them. I don’t think he ever believed they were real—if I’m honest, I didn't believe that they were real either, until today—but he listened to me talk about you every morning anyway. I think he probably knows as much about you as I do, at this point.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Which is that I cry too much and I’ve spent way too many hours on the Annex sofa over winter break?” Donghyuck offered playfully. Instead of taking the bate, Mark just shook his head with a sad smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No. Which is that you were in pain, and I wished I could make that go away,” Mark corrected.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck didn't have the heart to disagree with him, so he stayed quiet, letting himself feel the hum of the engine and the gentle sway of the bus beneath his feet as it moved. As he did so, another question suddenly occurred to him, and he looked up at Mark again. Mark didn't appear to have looked away from him once since they got on the bus, and his eyes were wide and vulnerable as he stared at the younger boy beside him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait. If I’ve been in the Annex with Dongyoung and the others the whole the time lately, how come you didn't recognise them? If you’ve seen me, surely you would have seen them too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I never see anyone else clearly,” Mark said. “Backgrounds and colours sometimes gave away whether you were inside or outside, but it was always like a photo that’s been corroded and faded by age. Everything else was fuzzy. Everything except you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Huh.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m making you uncomfortable again, aren’t I?” Donghyuck opened his mouth to disagree, to reassure Mark that this wasn't nearly the strangest conversation he’d had lately, but Mark was already moving onto the next topic of discussion. “That brings us up to the last few weeks. Hyung had already had his F-4 visa application accepted by that point, and his college was busy finalising accommodation with the fraternity for him. That would have been that, except then I woke up one morning with this feeling in my gut I couldn't shake, telling me that I had to go with him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Feeling?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. Like something was pulling me, dragging me, urging me to come here, and I just couldn't ignore it. Hyung had already started packing to leave, so I begged him to let me join him.” Mark rubbed at the back of his neck uncomfortably, and then shrugged. “Mom said it was just separation anxiety. She said I could visit him during vacations, if I wanted, but that I needed to finish high school in Chicago before I disappeared off to another country on a whim.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What changed then?” Donghyuck glanced down at Mark’s knee, which now pressed firmly against his thigh as he twisted in his seat to look at the older boy. “Clearly you're here.” He paused, frowning as the impossible sank in. “Do you have to leave again soon?” He didn't think he could deal with that so soon after getting Mark back again, before he even got a chance to know this version of him, but he had to know.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I’m here to stay,” Mark assured him with a grin. “At least for the rest of the school year.” He sobered, and something in his expression turned melancholy. “It’s probably the worst fight we’ve ever had as a family. Hyung was trying to stick up for me, but dad just wasn't listening. It got bad, real bad, so I gave in and dropped it. I thought my heart was going to explode in my chest, with the way it was screaming at me to keep fighting, but I knew it wouldn't help.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He smiled softly, peering past Donghyuck to glance out of the window at all the campus buildings that had started to appear lining the road. “I don’t know exactly what changed overnight, but, when I woke up the next morning, the application form was just sitting on the kitchen table. It never got discussed again, but, all of a sudden, we started packing for two instead of one.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The bus swayed a little as it came to an abrupt stop, and Mark instinctively flung out an arm to keep Donghyuck from toppling forward. Then he glanced up at the display above their heads, which was cycling through the street names and stops on their route, and started to stand. “This is us.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Once they were out onto the street, Mark stretched out his limbs languidly, like it had been uncomfortable for him to have been cooped up inside the bus for a half-hour, and then fixed his gaze firmly back onto his companion. “He never said, but I think I have Johnny to thank for getting me here, somehow. Whatever he did or said that night, it changed their minds.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad they did.” Mark nodded in agreement, as Donghyuck started to peer around at their location. He’d never been to the campus before, so he didn't recognise any of the buildings or landmarks that sprawled in all directions around them. Mark pulled out his phone, squinting as he referred to a photo of a map in the absence of a network signal, and they eventually set off in the direction the bus had just come from.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know,” Mark said after a few minutes, as Donghyuck followed him on an increasingly complex route through side-streets and back alleys. “I feel like I’ve known you for months, but I just realised that I don't even know your name.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Haech—Donghyuck.” He heard himself saying the name like an out of body experience, correcting himself at the very last moment, and cringed at the confusion that quickly flashed across Mark’s face. “It’s Donghyuck,” he clarified quickly. “My name is Lee Donghyuck.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I’m a Lee too.” Mark sounded excited by that prospect, although Donghyuck couldn't for the life of him imagine why, and the smile that graced Mark’s lips threatened to knock the wind out of him. “My real name isn’t actually Mark though. It’s—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lee Minhyung,” Donghyuck intoned, muscle memory kicking in from all the times that he and Mark had had this exact exchange back when they’d been first starting out as trainees.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mark had actually tried to go by his Korean name once, for exactly two weeks, as a sort of social experiment back before they’d started gearing up to debut. He’d been frustrated when no one had taken to it, least of all Donghyuck, who had just laughed in his face instead. It was one of Donghyuck’s fondest memories—if only because all of that bickering had eventually led them to the even closer friendship they now shared.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How did you…?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s a lot to all of this that you don’t know yet,” Donghyuck told him honestly, knowing that there wasn't much point in hiding things from Mark anymore. “I know that’s now a satisfying answer, but can we just stick with that for now?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ten, Yuta, Jaehyun… It seemed that, despite his targeted silence, people were slowly starting to put different pieces of his puzzle together. Jaehyun was the only one that Donghyuck was certain had uncovered at least some of the truth, although he still had no idea how, but it was only a matter of time before it eventually spread further. Perhaps, he thought absently, it was about time to start being a little bit more honest with the rest of his family too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d already lost them all once, after all. Some of them couldn't actually get further from him than they already were, so it was worth a shot. After Jaehyun, he thought that, maybe, he might start with Jeno. He knew that Renjun and Jaemin, in particular, would be relieved not to have to keep it from him anymore. Maybe on Monday, when school started up again, he would finally tell the older boy the truth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Will you tell me?” Mark asked then, pulling Donghyuck from his thoughts. “Eventually, I mean.” Donghyuck blinked, eyes alighting on a large flashing neon sign overhead as he realised that they had stopped outside a large gaming arcade. He also realised that Mark was now watching him intently, waiting for an answer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I will. I promise.” Donghyuck glanced up at the sign for the arcade again, suddenly reminded that he was now firmly intruding on whatever plans Mark had already made for the afternoon. “Hey, I should go back to the bus stop now. You need to meet your friend, and you don’t need me tagging along.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He started to edge around Mark, heading in the direction they had just come from. He wasn't convinced he could accurately find his way back, not without Mark’s grainy screenshot to guide him, but he also knew that it was rude to gatecrash someone’s private gathering. Whoever Mark was meeting was clearly an old friend—someone he’d known in America perhaps—and Donghyuck would not be welcome.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait!” Mark’s hand shot out, gripping Donghyuck’s upper arm and forcing him to come to a halt. He reluctantly turned back to see that Mark had a look of pure panic on his face, like he was afraid Donghyuck might run if he let go. Little did he know, Donghyuck thought wryly, that he’d stay by Mark’s side forever, if he were to just ask. “Stay,” Mark insisted, staring down at the spot on Donghyuck's jacket where their bodies met. “My friend will understand.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who is he?” Donghyuck thought he remembered Mark referring to them as he, so he hoped that he wasn't making a terrible faux pas with their gender. By Mark’s unchanged expression, however, it seemed like he had been correct, and Mark casually adjusted the cap on his head as he answered the question.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s an old friend I met at soccer camp in California,” Mark explained. “We went every summer until we were twelve, and I still send him care packages of American candy and chocolate sometimes. Stuff he can’t get easily over here.” Mark shrugged the shoulder that was still burdened with the small backpack he’d brought, the bag swinging wildly as he did so, and Donghyuck’s eyes traced the movement. “I stocked up before we left, because he knew I was coming and asked for some specific things in bulk.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A solitary memory nudged its way forward from the very back of Donghyuck’s mind, something he thought he should remember but just couldn't quite manifest, and he shivered. Mark didn't seem to notice, distracted as he was by something or someone he had spotted just behind Donghyuck, and he raised a hand to wave animatedly at whoever it was.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Here he is now,” Mark said happily, dropping his hand to his side and glancing back down to beam at Donghyuck. “He’s really nice, so I’m sure you’ll like him. I’m actually going to be attending his school for the rest of the year, since graduating high school was one of the only strict requirements for me moving here, so I’m excited for us to be able to reconnect in person.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What school is—?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yo!” Donghyuck was interrupted by a familiar voice, one which sliced effortlessly through the street noises enveloping them on all sides, and he whirled around to face Mark’s childhood friend. His eyes widened and his mouth dropped open, as the other boy did the same. Oblivious, Mark stepped up between them and pointed at the dark-haired boy opposite Donghyuck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Donghyuck-ssi, this is—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jeno?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyuck?”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Can I just say that the response in the comments to the last chapter was absolutely ridiculous?! A huge thank you to everyone who shared their thoughts (and unintelligible screams) with me. We had over 70 comments in just 24 hours... and I actually replied to them all within a couple of days, which will sadly probably never happen again. :)</p><p>Anyways, today I've been thinking a lot about how much I love reading fics within this community. If I didn't read at least twice as much as I write, I couldn't possibly do what I do, so I'm so grateful to all of my fellow writers out there for their contributions and their efforts for this fandom. To that end, I would love to branch out a bit into other ships, tropes and stories that I might not usually seek out. If you're willing, perhaps you could share with me your favourite fic, ship or trope, and help feed my already overflowing to be read list. (It can even be something you've written, if you want!) I'm open to almost anything, and I'd really love to check them out!</p><p>As always, have a wonderful day! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0047"><h2>47. Chapter 47</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So, it's, uh... it's been a while.</p><p>I never meant to disappear for two full weeks, but I'm adult enough to admit that I fully burnt myself out. It was my birthday, which, in typical me fashion, I forgot about completely, but then I was stressed from work, tired and totally unmotivated. I just kinda noped out of, well, everything for a while, actually. I really want to apologise for it, because apologising is in my DNA, but I won't. The truth is, I needed the break. It was going to happen at some point, whether I liked it or not, but I'm back now and I'll try not to disappear like that again. Thank you for your continued patience. &lt;3</p><p>That said, because of the above, this one is likely not my best work. I really needed to push through past my mini hiatus, which I did, but I'm not entirely satisfied with the end result. Still, I hope you enjoy the plot movement below for what it's worth, because there's quite a bit in here if you squint hard enough.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“...this is my friend Lee Jen—”</p><p> </p><p>A few seconds too late, Mark must have finally caught up with the stunned looks on the faces of his two companions, because his mouth snapped shut with an audible clack of teeth. He frowned, glancing first at Donghyuck and then at a thoroughly shell-shocked looking Jeno, before hesitantly interrupting the eerie silence that Jeno’s arrival had wrought. “Oh. Do you two know each other?”</p><p> </p><p>“Uh—” Jeno blinked rapidly, rendered incapable of uttering a single coherent word in his own defence. Recovering far more quickly, Donghyuck flashed Jeno what he hoped was a reassuring smile and then turned his attention back to Mark.</p><p> </p><p>“We go to the same school,” he offered. Mark’s eyebrows attempted to make a break for his hairline, and Donghyuck could practically see the cogs in his brain turning as he processed that particular piece of information, but he still pressed on with his explanation. “We’re in different classes, but we eat lunch together a lot of the time.”</p><p> </p><p>He didn't bother to try and explain that their friendship was a fairly recent phenomenon, at least in this part of the universe, knowing that he’d end up spilling all of the details to Mark—and likely Jeno too—sooner rather than later, but he did think Mark deserved some semblance of context. From his perspective, this all had to seem like a huge coincidence—which, if Donghyuck was honest, was hard to argue against at this point—and he didn't want the older boy to think he was being manipulated or lied to in any way.</p><p> </p><p>“Jeno is my…” <em>Family? Brother?</em> <em>Kind of, almost, maybe boyfriend to two of my closest friends?</em> Donghyuck caught Jeno’s eye just in time to see the flicker of pure panic cross his face. The older boy shook his head almost imperceptibly and, even without context, Donghyuck didn't need to be a genius to interpret that. For whatever reason, Mark didn't yet know about Jeno’s new relationship, and he wasn't about to be the person to spill that secret if Jeno didn't want him to know. “We’re friends, I guess.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh.” For a moment, Mark continued to glance curiously between the pair, surely not missing the way that Jeno’s posture visibly relaxed at Donghyuck’s words. It actually seemed as though he might try to question their friendship further, as he licked his lips and then set about worrying the bottom one with his teeth, but, instead, he simply shrugged. “Cool.”</p><p> </p><p>Awkward meet-cute over, Mark quickly pulled Jeno into a fierce one-armed hug. He slapped Jeno on the back as he did so, in a move that looked to Donghyuck like it would probably hurt a good amount, but Jeno returned it with an even more aggressive slap and a bark of laughter that didn’t sound pained.</p><p> </p><p>Mark started to giggle, pressing his splayed palm into Jeno’s shoulder blade for a brief moment, but then released him and stepped back. Jeno was still grinning, fighting to hold back another laugh, and any tension that still lingered was suddenly gone, as quickly as it had first arrived.</p><p> </p><p>“Damn, I’ve missed you, hyung,” Jeno said, elbowing Mark lightly in the ribs. The older boy feigned mild discomfort, which Donghyuck thought was laughable considering the aggressive bro-hug they’d just exchanged, but still offered him a broad smile.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ve missed you too, Jeno-yah.”</p><p> </p><p>“So, how do you and Hyuck know each other?” Jeno asked inquisitively. For a moment, Mark seemed a little thrown off by the nickname, so Donghyuck offered him a small wave and then pointed a helpful finger at his own face. Understanding dawned in a hurry for Mark, and then it was his turn to look slightly panicked.</p><p> </p><p>“We, uh—” Mark swallowed loudly, eyes begging Donghyuck to intercede for the second time today, but Jeno wasn’t paying attention to anyone but him. “We don’t. Not really…It’s a long story.”</p><p> </p><p>Mark paled, fingers fidgeting with the hem of his sweatshirt as he tried to avoid Jeno’s eye, and Donghyuck felt his heart squeeze once again at the lost look on his best friend’s face. It had to be a lot to take in, on Mark’s very first day in a new country, what with unexpectedly meeting someone whom he'd only ever seen before in a dream. Hell, the boy barely even knew his name at this point. </p><p> </p><p>“Johnny-hyung is my brother’s new roommate,” Donghyuck interjected. He hoped that his tone was casual enough to appease Jeno, who was looking more and more confused by the second. “Mark is staying with them, I guess.” He didn't actually know<em> where </em> Mark was staying, if he was honest, but he knew that he had to be staying somewhere nearby. He wasn’t old enough yet to live alone, so it made sense that he’d be using one of the extra rooms in the Annex for the time being—or, at least, he hoped it did.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah!” Mark sounded relieved, and Jeno looked somewhat mollified for the moment. “His brother is part of Johnny-hyung’s fraternity. I met Donghyuck-ssi this morning at the house, and we got to talking.” He glanced up at Jeno, whose eyes were now firmly fixed on Donghyuck. “I hope you don’t mind that he’s here. I would have called you to let you know, but—”</p><p> </p><p>“I was just leaving,” Donghyuck said quickly, interrupting Mark’s inevitable apology. He knew that Mark wanted to continue their previous conversation—and that he was willing to sacrifice his time with his childhood friend to do so—but that wasn't fair on Jeno, who had come all this way from Neo City just to see him. “I’ll be at the frat house for a while today. We can talk when you get back later, if you want.</p><p> </p><p>“No!” An elderly woman walking past on the sidewalk startled at Mark’s blurted exclamation, muttering something under her breath about disrespectful teenagers and noise complaints, and Mark flushed in embarrassment. He mumbled a quick apology, which she promptly ignored, and lowered his voice to just above a whisper. “Stay,” he insisted, fixing Donghyuck with a beseeching look. “Please?”</p><p> </p><p>“I can leave instead, if you two need to…” Jeno started to say, but the older boy shook his head vehemently and placed an impeding hand on Jeno’s forearm.</p><p> </p><p>“No one is leaving. I—I didn't mean to shout.” Mark looked uncomfortable, and Donghyuck itched to reach for him and tell him he was doing okay, but he forced himself to hold back and fisted his hands at his sides. “Jeno-yah, you wanted to show me the arcade today, right? I just flew halfway around the world, and you’ve been telling me about the amazing ramen they have here for at least a year, so I really want to enjoy it with you.” He offered Jeno a tight smile. “Would it be okay if Donghyuck joins us?”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s fine with me,” Jeno agreed easily, looping an arm around Mark’s neck and pulling him in closer. He ruffled Mark’s hair like he was a small child, which had Mark scowling half-heartedly as he tried to pull away. Then Jeno grinned at Donghyuck and started to drag Mark bodily towards the open door of the building behind them. “The more the merrier. Come on, Hyuck. I bet you any money you like that you can’t beat me at Street Fighter.”</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck couldn’t help but smirk, the gesture transforming into a soft snort of laughter as Jeno winked at him. “You sure? It’s the easiest fortune I’ll ever make.”</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>The console they wanted to start on turned out to be busy, so they left a coin on the glass to mark their place in the queue and then clustered around a motorbike simulator game within eyeshot. Mark quickly chose the settings, challenging Jeno to a lengthy race that Donghyuck was more than happy to sit out of for the time being. Instead, he lounged on the low metal base of the games unit behind them, listening absently to their amicable bickering as he kept a watchful eye on the people around him while he waited.</p><p> </p><p>“Good to know that you’re still as bad at this as ever, hyung,” Jeno teased after a few minutes, and Donghyuck glanced up at the perfect moment to be able to watch him lap Mark for a second time. Mark groaned and poked Jeno gently in the arm, pouting adorably, but didn't argue the point. The strobing lettering at the top of his screen, alerting him that he was currently driving in the wrong direction, was evidence enough for all three of them.</p><p> </p><p>“I just need to warm up,” Mark insisted five minutes later, when Jeno’s name flashed up among the high scores and Mark had somehow managed to fail to even finish. Jeno didn't look convinced, and Donghyuck was trying not to laugh as Mark looked to him for moral support. “Seriously, I’m just out of practice. I’m way better than this normally!”</p><p> </p><p>“Hardly.” Donghyuck was snickering softly to himself, when he felt the weight of two sets of eyes fall on him. He looked up, meeting Mark’s gaze, and shrugged unapologetically. “What? You suck at video games.” He turned to Jeno with a conspiratorial smile. “You should see him play League. I swear, without me, he’d be like a newborn baby deer stumbling around the map looking for traps to fall into.”</p><p> </p><p>“How did you…?” Mark’s features folded into a frown—as Jeno started to resemble someone about to take a test on material he’d never seen before in his life—but then he shook his head decisively. “I—you know what, never mind. I’m not touching that one just yet, because I value my sanity and it’s already shaping up to be a long afternoon.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oops,” Donghyuck muttered, half to himself, and looked around for something to distract the two boys now staring at him like he’d grown a second head. He’d slipped up before, with small things like names and honorifics, but there was no way he was going to be able to explain that statement away without divine intervention or a very long conversation. “Oh, uh, what do you know? Street Fighter is open.”</p><p> </p><p>He pointed at the distinctive red and orange machine across the aisle, where the previous occupants were now collecting up their belongings and waving them over. He stood, bowing politely in thanks, and then hurried away from Jeno and Mark towards the large console. He could still feel their eyes on the back of his neck, but resolutely tried to ignore it for the time being. Perhaps, he mused wistfully, if he pretended he hadn't just said something weird, it would just go away.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>“Hyuck, you’re not even trying.” Jeno sounded disgruntled and cheated, despite the screen declaring the younger boy the winner for the third consecutive round. Donghyuck rolled his eyes at him, trying not to look quite as distracted and uneasy as he felt, but he wasn't sure that it was working.</p><p> </p><p>He’d won comfortably, but it had been much more of a slog than usual, and his heart just hadn’t been in it. It might have had something to do with the way that Mark was watching him intently, as though inspecting the heated skin of his left cheek for the answers to all of life’s questions, but he wasn't about to tell Jeno that.</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry.” Donghyuck offered Jeno an apologetic smile, and then stepped back from the machine. “I must be having an off day or something.” He turned to look at the boy at his other elbow, almost but not quite meeting Mark’s eye, and pointed at the controls in front of him. “Do you want a turn, Mark?”</p><p> </p><p>“Hyung,” Mark muttered absently, still staring laserbeams into the side of Donghyuck’s face. He blinked, eyes going unfocused for a moment as he lifted them to meet the other boy’s gaze, and then he looked away just as quickly.</p><p> </p><p>“Huh?” Donghyuck frowned, not catching his meaning. For a moment, it seemed like he wasn't going to answer, but then Mark let out a gusty sigh.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s Mark-hyung to you,” he said softly. It was barely loud enough to be heard over the background music blasting from the arcade speakers, but Donghyuck didn't miss a word. “You keep forgetting.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh.” Donghyuck frowned. He hadn't even realised. He knew that he did it deliberately sometimes back home, just because he knew that it annoyed Mark to no end whenever he did it in front of the others or on camera, but it wasn't something he’d been doing intentionally here. “Sorry, hyung.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s fine.” Mark shook his head, allowing a small, almost sad smile to lift the corners of his lips. “I don’t mind. I just thought I should tell you, in case…” He trailed off, but it didn't take much to fill in what he wasn't saying.</p><p> </p><p>Mark didn't even know why yet, but he was already instinctively trying to protect Donghyuck by warning him to be careful with his words in public. They’d only known each other a few short hours, from Mark’s perspective, but he was already being the protective friend that Donghyuck needed him to be. It was humbling, and a little unsettling, how easily the role came to him.</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks,” Donghyuck told him hesitantly, offering him a small smile that he hoped might convey even a fraction of the emotions he was feeling right then.</p><p> </p><p>“How about we go get some food?” Jeno chose that moment to speak up, voice carrying more forcefully through the space around them than strictly necessary. It was obvious to all of them that he was trying to relieve some of the weird energy that he could see lingering between the two boys in front of him, but Donghyuck was grateful regardless.</p><p> </p><p>“Sounds good to me,” he agreed, turning his back on Street Fighter to see both of them more easily. “Somebody mentioned something about good ramen, so I’m in. Just point me in the right direction.”</p><p> </p><p>Jeno chuckled, the sound a little hollow but still genuine, and gestured towards a small serving window set into the far wall, just beyond a sign advertising all the new games that had arrived at the arcade that month. “The food here is awesome. There’s a seating area just behind the ATM over there too, so we can sit and eat together.”</p><p> </p><p>Jeno didn't wait for either of them to follow him, heading quickly towards the end of the row of machines and then in the general direction of the servery, so Donghyuck trailed after him wordlessly. He could feel Mark at his hip, the warmth almost enough to burn as he followed close behind, like he couldn’t bear to be any further from Donghyuck than he had to be. Donghyuck certainly wasn't complaining, and, if his hand happened to swing back just a little to brush the sleeve of Mark’s sweatshirt as he walked, well… that was a secret he’d take to the grave.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>“So, Hyuck-ah.” Jeno handed over a steaming pot of ramen from the tray he’d just set down, then slid a pile of chopsticks and napkins into the middle of the table between them. He took a seat beside Mark, who had immediately claimed the seat opposite Donghyuck up against the wall, and started to peel the foil lid off his own food carefully. “Are you ready for winter break to be over yet?”</p><p> </p><p>It was possibly the most innocuous thing that he could have said, so unexpectedly banal that it actually threw Donghyuck for a few seconds, but he thought he recovered as well as could be expected given the circumstances. Jeno just watched him knowingly as he floundered, as though he had been anticipating this exact response, but said nothing more.</p><p> </p><p>“Not really,” Donghyuck admitted with a shrug. It wasn't only because the idea of school itself was still repulsive to him, even four months into the school year here, having already graduated and escaped the cruel torture once before. He also wasn't nearly ready for the changes he knew the new semester would bring, probably in large part due to the boy opposite him, who was currently eating with his face buried into the steaming container like he was seconds from starvation.</p><p> </p><p>“Tell me about it,” Jeno muttered glumly, stabbing a chopstick into the ramen in front of him hard enough to make a small amount of liquid slop out onto the tabletop. “Oops.” He grabbed a napkin and started to mop up the mess, as he continued. “I still haven’t started any of the pre-course work for Mr Kwon in History. I’m never going to finish it all by Monday.”</p><p> </p><p>“I have Miss Kim this semester,” Donghyuck told him apologetically. “She didn't set us anything extra over the break.” He almost smirked at the dejected look on Jeno’s face as that reality set in, but decided instead to offer a solution in the hopes of stopping him sulking too much. “Injunie’s taking that class too, right? How much do you want to bet that he’s already finished everything?”</p><p> </p><p>“You make an excellent point,” Jeno conceded, nodding thoughtfully. Mark’s head lifted from where he was attempting to inhale his noodles in almost complete silence, and he blinked at them over his fogged glasses.</p><p> </p><p>“Who’s Injun?”</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck opened his mouth to answer, and then promptly shut it again when he noted the decidedly constipated look on Jeno’s face. The boy paled a little, lips thinning as he stared at Mark, and Donghyuck worried for a moment that he might not say anything at all. Then Jeno’s jaw clenched once, and he took a deep breath. “Huang Renjun is one of our, uh, other friends. He’s our resident genius, and the only one with any sense out of all of us.”</p><p> </p><p>“More brain cells than the two of us combined, that’s for sure,” Donghyuck agreed, despite the fact that he knew that neither of them actually believed that. Renjun was smart, yes, and undeniably brilliant, but that was far from his defining feature in Jeno’s eyes. Still, for whatever reason, he didn't want Mark to know that yet, and Donghyuck had to respect his choice. To ease the tension he could see in Jeno’s posture, he attempted to shift the conversation into safer territory. “Totally lawful-evil though, if you ask me.”</p><p> </p><p>“You wish, Hyuck.” Jeno eagerly took the bait, just as he suspected that he would, but not before flashing him a grateful smile from behind his chopsticks. “The only evil one in our group is you.”</p><p> </p><p>“True.”</p><p> </p><p>“Actually, I don’t know…” Jeno let the sentence trail off ominously. “NaNa can be plenty evil when he wants to be.” He laughed, then caught Mark’s curious gaze again. “Na Jaemin,” Jeno explained simply. “He and Renjunie are Hyuck’s best friends. He’s actually the one I mentioned, when I asked you to get the extra candy supplies for me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh!” Mark’s eyes lit up, like he had finally found some firm ground after aeons free-falling through unfamiliar skies. He glanced around for something, expression turning worried when he didn't immediately see it, and Donghyuck lifted the small backpack Mark had brought with him from its perch on the empty seat beside him.</p><p> </p><p>“Looking for this?”</p><p> </p><p>Mark stretched out a hand across the table, reaching for it eagerly as Donghyuck handed it over. One of the straps almost landed in his leftover ramen, saved only by Jeno’s lightning-fast reflexes, and then the bag was nestled in Mark’s lap as he started to rifle through it. He shifted several items to one side, obviously looking for something specific, and then retrieved a large pink package with vaguely familiar brown writing in English on it.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh shit! You actually brought them,” Jeno enthused, taking the heavy package Mark offered him and turning it over almost reverently a few times in his hands. “I owe you big time for this, hyung.” Mark pulled a second, identical bag of candy from the backpack a moment later, showing it to Jeno briefly before letting it fall back inside with a crinkle of plastic. He zipped the backpack up and tucked it onto the floor between his seat and Jeno’s with a dismissive shrug.</p><p> </p><p>“It was no big deal. You know you only ever have to ask.”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you kidding?” Jeno said quickly, punching Mark shoulder playfully with the hand not still clutching the massive bag of individually wrapped candies. “Jaemin is going to love these. They’re his favourite.”</p><p> </p><p>“Jaemin must be a pretty awesome friend then,” Mark muttered, wincing as he rubbed at his assaulted arm gingerly. “Johnny-hyung had to order these online, to get them in bulk like that.” He grinned impishly at Jeno, and then at Donghyuck. “I thought he was going to have a conniption when I told him how much you wanted.”</p><p> </p><p>Mark wasn't looking directly at Jeno, so he didn't see the soft smile that transformed Jeno’s face at the mention of Jaemin’s name, but Donghyuck did. He also saw the way that Jeno tried and failed to school his face into something that less resembled abject joy, staring down at the huge mound of candy in his lap.</p><p> </p><p>This boy was completely gone for Na Jaemin, Donghyuck realised with a flood of affection, as he watched Jeno carefully cradling the pink package in his hands. He’d gone out of his way to get something Jaemin loved, simply because he knew that it would make him happy. People didn't do that kind of thing for just anyone. Not unless they cared. Not unless they loved them.</p><p> </p><p>“He really is,” Jeno said softly, the softness in his eyes lingering for a few moments longer, before he finally sobered and tucked the candy back into Mark’s bag for safekeeping. He then retrieved his chopsticks, turning his attention firmly back to the nearly empty bowl of food in front of him. “Tell Johnny-hyung thanks from me. Is it okay if I give you the money for everything first thing Monday morning? I didn't bring enough today, but I’ll bring it to school for you.”</p><p> </p><p>“No worries,” Mark told him, sounding entirely unconcerned. “There’s no hurry. If I thought you’d let me give you them for free, you know I would.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know.”</p><p> </p><p>The three of them sat in companionable silence for another few minutes, each focused on finishing off their food. At some point, Jeno jumped up at the sound of their table number being called, and then returned with a set of glass soda bottles on his tray. He distributed several of them to Donghyuck and Mark, then scooped up a straw for his own and spent a solid minute and a half turning the paper packaging into a concertina on the table in front of him.</p><p> </p><p>“So, uh, are we all just going to pretend that you didn't say something really weird earlier?” Jeno sounded like he could have been asking about the weather as he spoke, tone nonchalant and deceptively airy, but Mark’s head snapped up to meet Donghyuck’s gaze and the younger boy felt his stomach drop into his shoes.</p><p> </p><p>“What do you mean?” He didn't honestly think that evasion was going to work on Jeno, considering the way that Dongyoung had asked a similar question several months ago and then had subsequently unravelled Donghyuck’s entire life story in minutes, but it was worth a try. He’d been telling himself outside, just before Jeno arrived, that he wanted to be more open and honest, but this was a lot faster than he had anticipated the conversation happening.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, first you said you two didn't know each other, but then you also said you’d played League of Legends with Mark-hyung.” Jeno didn't sound angry, but there was definitely a spark of something spirited in his usually warm gaze that made Donghyuck nervous. “Not to mention, there have been a few other occasions I can think of where you’ve said things that don’t make sense, or known things you can’t possibly know.”</p><p> </p><p>He had not been giving Jeno enough credit, Donghyuck realised, as he and Mark both stared at the other boy. He had never said anything, hadn't ever challenged him on anything, but Jeno had clearly picked up on far more than Donghyuck had thought possible. He wondered just how deep that knowledge went, and how much he had let slip without even knowing.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s fair,” Donghyuck agreed, nodding at Jeno to confirm that he wasn't going to dispute his accusations. “You’ve probably already figured out by now that I haven't been fully honest with you.” He glanced at Mark, who was now staring at him with an intensity that made him want to crawl under the table and hide—or bury his face in Mark’s shirt and never resurface. “Either of you, actually. I owe you both a lot of answers at this point.”</p><p> </p><p>“Both of us?” Jeno sounded confused, but Donghyuck could see that his brain was still working at double speed to try to fit the pieces together. “Would this happen to have anything to do with why Renjun and Jaemin clam up like they’ve forgotten how to speak Korean whenever you get brought up in casual conversation?”</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck snorted despite himself. “Yeah. Probably.”</p><p> </p><p>“What about why Renjun nearly ripped my head off when I needed a pen and tried to look through his jacket pockets the other week?” That one threw Donghyuck for a moment, before he remembered that Renjun kept his copy of the list in his breast pocket for safekeeping. The school blazer was probably the only thing he owned that never got machine washed, and was usually safe from prying eyes by its very nature.</p><p> </p><p>“Almost certainly.” He nodded again, and Jeno leaned back in his seat to watch Donghyuck thoughtfully.</p><p> </p><p>“That explains a lot,” he said after a few silent moments, then sighed. “And, at the same time, absolutely nothing.” Jeno chuckled mirthlessly, and scrubbed a hand over his face. “You know, I thought I’d done something wrong that day. I thought he was going to… you know.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry,” Donghyuck told him earnestly. He’d known that it had to be a strain on their relationship, with Renjun and Jaemin keeping this big secret that wasn't theirs to tell, but he’d never given much thought to how hard Jeno would take it when they had to lie to him or omit things whenever they were together. “If it helps, I made them both promise not to say anything.”</p><p> </p><p>“It doesn’t, but thanks for trying, Hyuck.” Jeno rubbed a finger across one of his eyebrows distractedly, and then turned to Mark. “Does any of this make sense to you?”</p><p> </p><p>“Not a single word,” Mark told him with a consolidatory smile, “but I suspect that we’re about to get educated if we’re patient enough.”</p><p> </p><p>This was it, Donghyuck thought somberly, as he carefully observed the two boys opposite him. They watched him with similar interest, but he suspected there was a lot less trepidation in their minds right now than his. He wanted to tell them everything, he knew he did, but they were in public and they were together. He’d envisioned telling Jeno the truth many times, and Mark at least a few times whenever he’d allowed his mind to indulge in the fantasy made real before him, but they had never been together in any of those scenarios. This was a fresh minefield that he feared he was ill-equipped to face.</p><p> </p><p>Then again, his subconscious supplied helpfully, he hadn't ever really been prepared for any of this. He’d woken up here with no clue what he was doing, and had stumbled through his first few reveals with very little finesse or planning. He’d so far managed to convince at least four people of the truth of his words, so what were two more in the grand scheme of things? Granted, this time it was<em> Mark </em>, a Mark who didn't even know him here yet, but it was still just two more people. How hard could it be?</p><p> </p><p>“I’m—” He needed to go with the short version, he knew that to be true. They were in public and very exposed, not to mention that half his story to Dongyoung had revolved around being in love with the boy sat directly across from him, which probably wouldn't go down quite as well with this particular crowd. They also didn't have hours to spare, sitting alone in his room or a nearly empty cafe, so the shortened version would have to do. “I’m not exactly from around here.”</p><p> </p><p>He started to describe how he’d come to find himself here, leaving out the part where he suspected his feelings for his best friend and his argument with said best friend’s brother, Johnny, were likely the reason for his abrupt transmigration. He also explained how Renjun and Jaemin found out, omitting any mention of Jeno or Mark from either of those conversations, and then briefly mentioned Dongyoung, and how they’d been trying to figure out a way for him to get home for the past month.</p><p> </p><p>When he was finished, he was met by stunned silence and then the loud clink of a coke bottle, as it slipped from Mark’s fidgeting hand and the glass hit the table hard enough to jolt him out of whatever haze he’d been in. The older boy pursed his lips, thinking hard, and then rested his chin on his palm to lean across the table towards Donghyuck.</p><p> </p><p>“So that feeling from four months ago that I told you about earlier,” he said softly, gaze boring deep into Donghyuck’s own. “That was you?”</p><p> </p><p>“Guilty as charged,” Donghyuck admitted, the corner of his lips twitching nervously as he stared at Mark. He still wasn't sure what either boy made of all this, but Jeno still hadn't said a word and Mark was demanding his full and unadulterated attention right now. “You described it pretty much exactly as I felt it.”</p><p> </p><p>“And when you were upset the other week?”</p><p> </p><p>“Dongyoung and I tried something, and it didn't work out.” Donghyuck shrugged. “There’s a bit more to it than that, but I’m trying not to dwell on it too much.” He made an effort to smile, and Mark quickly returned it with a hesitant grin of his own. “Besides, now that you and Johnny-hyung are here, everything is different again.”</p><p> </p><p>“Because we’re the last ones missing?” Mark sounded unsure, but Donghyuck could tell that he was trying hard to figure everything out. Even with an abridged retelling, it was a lot to take in. “On your list, right?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.” <em> That and the fact that you were the one I missed the most. </em> Donghyuck knew that Mark had to feel uncomfortable being such a big part of the way everything had shaken out, so he tried to shift the topic onto something a little lighter. “I can finally start getting the gang back together, now that we have a full house. Renjunie’s going to be excited when I tell him he can tick the last two names off the list.”</p><p> </p><p>“In his jacket pocket?” Jeno asked suddenly, seeming to abruptly tune back into the conversation at the mention of Renjun’s name. Donghyuck suspected he hadn’t been quite as absent as he’d seemed, but they both turned to look at him as he sat up in his chair and placed his folded hands on the tabletop.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p> </p><p>“And he believes you about all of this?”</p><p> </p><p>“He does.” Donghyuck nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“Huh.” The look on Jeno’s face told the world, in no uncertain terms, that he didn't share his boyfriend’s faith, but Donghyuck had half been expecting that. Of all of the Dreamies, Jeno had always been the pragmatic one. Where Renjun believed in aliens, Jisung believed in ghosts, and Jaemin believed in everyone around him without exception, Jeno had always been the one to take a step back and question everything. With him, this was never going to be as simple as telling him an interesting story.</p><p> </p><p>“The timeline matches up,” Mark said then, tapping a finger absently on the edge of his ramen container as it sat on the table in front of him. “It also explains why I’m here, I guess.”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you okay with that?” Donghyuck wasn't sure he wanted to hear the answer, but he had to ask. Mark had been dragged here by fate, or destiny, or whatever power pulled the strings in the universe and had conspired to bring them both to this point, but he hadn't exactly had a choice in the matter. It had all been about Donghyuck, and Mark had become just another hapless puppet in the farce that had become his life. Their lives. All of their lives, including Jeno, Johnny and the rest of his chosen family.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.” Mark smiled kindly, as though to reassure both himself and Donghyuck. “I mean, it’s not been much fun to experience weird feelings that aren’t my own, not knowing where they were coming from, and my brain is still struggling to wrap itself around all this, but I don’t blame you. This is no more your fault than mine.”</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck sincerely wished that he could believe that, but, as he flashed back to the argument he’d had with Johnny just minutes before he’d lost everything and everyone he cared about, he knew that it wasn't true. This was, as much as he prayed it wasn’t, still all his fault. His burden. His responsibility to fix. However, just for now, here with Mark in this moment, he was willing to try to pretend for a while that it wasn't all on him.</p><p> </p><p>“What do you mean, weird feelings?” Jeno asked, turning his attention to Mark for the first time since Donghyuck had begun his explanation. “Like what?”</p><p> </p><p>“Wait!” Mark opened and closed his mouth in rapid succession, as Donghyuck’s voice cut across them both. Mark looked surprised, but a thought had just occurred to the younger boy and he suddenly needed to know the answer. “Sorry, but I have to ask. Does 4:32 am mean anything to you, Mark?”</p><p> </p><p>“Hyung,” Mark reminded him with a tiny smirk, but then he sobered almost immediately and frowned. “That’s the time the plane landed this morning. I know because I woke up just as the wheels touched down.” He stared at Donghyuck for a moment, and then his lips popped open in surprise. “I was woken up by something else though. It felt like I needed to…”</p><p> </p><p>“Needed to be awake?” Donghyuck supplied. Mark nodded, eyes going wide as he moved.</p><p> </p><p>“Exactly.” Mark shuddered, and Donghyuck felt the muscles lining his spine ripple and twitch in sympathy at the shared memory. “It was like nothing I’ve ever experienced.”</p><p> </p><p>Instinctively, Donghyuck reached out a hand to Mark across the table. He didn't really expect Mark to take it, although perhaps he should have done, so the jolt of electricity that shot through his fingers and up his arm as they made contact made him yelp in shock. It didn't hurt exactly, but, as his vision went white and his eyes rolled back into his head, he distantly mused that it might be too early to rule it out just yet.</p><p> </p><p>For a brief instant, there was nothing. He could feel Mark’s skin against his palm, warm and solid, but the rest of his consciousness floated in a void of empty bleached brightness. No noise, no body, no existence at all. Then, just as suddenly, he was slamming down into his body opposite Mark. Only, this time, Mark was older, blonder and a hell of a lot angrier.</p><p> </p><p>This Mark had a face like thunder, eyes barely slits and neatly groomed brows furrowed in concentration as he paced the carpet of the hallway they stood in. He was speaking, or rather raging, at Donghyuck, although he couldn't make out the words. It felt like he was underwater and, when he tried to move, he found that he was a prisoner inside his own mind. He saw his hand come up, shoving forcefully at Mark’s chest, but he hadn't told it to move. He was an observer only, inside a body that he knew instinctively was his own.</p><p> </p><p>As he watched, Mark shoved his hands away, turning and stalking off down the familiar hallway of their dorm. Further down the corridor, Donghyuck caught a glimpse of an older Jaehyun, with light brown hair and concern etched into every plane of his face, as Mark pushed past him and opened the door to what Donghyuck knew to be Taeyong’s room. His body started to follow, dragging Donghyuck along with it, but then Jaehyun stepped in his way and he lost sight of Mark.</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck looked up at Jaehyun, into the eyes of the man that was his brother in all but blood, and he could feel the anger burning inside of him like a furnace. It wasn’t his anger, but he could almost taste it. Jaehyun was in his way. He needed to get out of Donghyuck’s way, before he…</p><p> </p><p>Mark’s hand wrenched away from his, breaths coming fast and uneven, and Donghyuck was back in the arcade again. Mark’s eyes met his, so like the ones he’d just been staring into and yet so different, and the sudden juxtaposition was jarring.</p><p> </p><p>He was so much younger like this, Donghyuck realised, as he took in Mark’s dark hair, oversized glasses and bewildered expression. Mark was staring at the younger boy like he’d just seen a ghost and, if Donghyuck was right about what he’d just seen, he strongly suspected that it would probably feel very much like that for Mark.</p><p> </p><p>“Did you see that?” he asked, trying to force his breathing to even out and his heart rate to slow. Mark nodded, apparently unable to say anything more at the moment, and Donghyuck sighed. “In that case, I think you just saw what the other us is up to right now.”</p><p> </p><p>He didn't know how he knew that, and he could still be wrong, but it was the only thing that made sense. Mark was connected to all of this somehow and, when they’d touched, he’d been able to glimpse a reality beyond his own. One that, to the best of Donghyuck’s knowledge, currently housed a much younger, much less well-actualised Lee Donghyuck. A Lee Donghyuck that his-Mark didn't particularly seem to like that much.</p><p> </p><p>“You hate me,” Mark said simply, frowning in a way that was uncomfortable reminiscent of the way that the other Mark had just frowned at the other Donghyuck. Less angry, for sure, but still supremely affected. “Your hair was different, and you were dressed like you were in some kind of motorcycle gang, but you hated me.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s not me and I don’t hate you,” Donghyuck corrected, leaning forward on instinct to pat Mark’s arm before thinking better of it. Both of them cringed away from a second possible meeting of flesh, and Donghyuck dropped his hand into his lap with resounding finality. “And neither does he, if I had to guess. He’s just a kid and, if he’s anything like I was when I got here, he’s probably terrified right now.”</p><p> </p><p>“I guess I can understand that.” Mark didn't sound convinced, but Donghyuck knew that he understood. He also knew that, even if Mark had previously had misgivings about the truth behind his words, those were long gone now. There was not even a trace of doubt left in Mark’s eyes. Just unease, and more than a little sorrow.</p><p> </p><p>“Not to intrude on whatever the fuck just happened between you two, but what the fuck just happened between you two?” Jeno sounded astonishing calm, considering whatever it was that he’d just witnessed between two of his friends across the table, but there was an undercurrent of hysteria brewing underneath that facade that Donghyuck didn't particularly want erupting in public.</p><p> </p><p>“What did it look like?” Mark asked, sounding genuinely curious. “Because for me, it felt like I just got squeezed into a black hole and came out on the other side with everything in the room shifted just a single atom to the left.” That, Donghyuck thought, was a pretty apt metaphor for how he felt right now, although he’d be lying if he said that wasn't morbidly curious as to what it had looked like from Jeno’s perspective.</p><p> </p><p>“To me,” Jeno said slowly, peering at both of them carefully like they were playing some elaborate practical joke on him, “it looked like you held hands and then spaced out for like three seconds. One moment, you were staring at each other, and then you were freaking out like you’d just punched each other in the face.”</p><p> </p><p>“Three seconds?” That didn't feel right to Donghyuck, since he was sure that he’d been absent from his body for at least a few minutes, but Jeno just nodded and continued to stir the stray drops of moisture around in the bottom of his drink with his straw.</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe less,” Jeno confirmed. “Definitely no more. What happened? Why do you both look like someone just walked over your grave?”</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck glanced across at Mark, meeting his eye squarely, and in less than a second, they came to a silent agreement. He didn't even need to ask to know that Mark didn't have a better idea of how to explain this to Jeno than he did—although that wasn't saying much. He could try to tell him later, or Mark could, but, for now, some things were better left unsaid.</p><p> </p><p>“You still don’t believe me, do you?” Donghyuck asked instead, hoping to direct Jeno’s attention back to their previous topic of discussion. It wasn't safe, by any means, but it was safer than the confusing vision of a different version of themselves he and Mark seemed to have just shared.</p><p> </p><p>“I—” Jeno looked surprised at the direction the conversation had taken, but answered anyway. “I want to Hyuck, I really do, but this is all just a bit too out there for me. I’m sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s fine.” Donghyuck hoped that Jeno could see the truth in those two words, written large on his face, because he wanted the older boy to continue to engage in the possibility for a while longer. If he shut Donghyuck down completely, it would all be over. If there was still a part of Jeno that <em> wanted </em> to believe him, there was hope. “I can try to prove it to you, if you want.”</p><p> </p><p>He’d already shown them both the list on his phone, the one that had convinced Dongyoung before them, and he knew that Jeno understood that Jaemin and Renjun both believed him completely. He wasn’t sure what else he could muster up in terms of evidence, aside from spouting off everything he could remember about Jeno’s childhood, hoping something would stick, but he was willing to try.</p><p> </p><p>“Sure,” Jeno said, sounding confused but still somewhat agreeable. “Go for it.”</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck started simple, detailing Jeno’s cats, hobbies and interests. Most of these, Jeno pointed out, he could have gotten from their friends, or from Jeno’s school records, so he tried to go a little more obscure. He then landed on a few things which weren’t true in this reality, like Jeno not having the scar on his leg from an incident with his neighbour’s dog as a child, and he could see that he was quickly starting to lose ground.</p><p> </p><p>“You play the guitar,” Donghyuck said, but all three of them could tell that he was running on fumes. Jeno just looked at him like he’d stepped in dog poop, and told him to try harder. Donghyuck wracked his brain to try to think of something obscure, but not too obscure, and glanced over at Mark for inspiration. He hummed in frustration, and Mark smiled at him as if he was trying to apologise. “Do you still play guitar in this reality too, hyung?”</p><p> </p><p>“I do.”</p><p> </p><p>“Good to know.” As Donghyuck spoke, something else occurred to him and he whirled around in his seat to look at Jeno again. The boy looked about ready to have him committed, or at the very least thrown out of the arcade, but he wasn't giving up without a fight. “You filmed commercials as a kid.” Jeno nodded, although he still didn't look hopeful. “There’s a milk one that has become a bit of a meme where I’m from.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know the one. What about it?”</p><p> </p><p>“Did you puke on set in this reality too?” Donghyuck smirked, remembering the hours of pestering and needling from Chenle and Renjun it had taken to get Jeno to give up that little secret, and he almost missed the way that Jeno froze in confusion.</p><p> </p><p>“I—what?” Jeno’s eyes darted from Donghyuck’s face to Mark’s and then back. “I didn’t…”</p><p> </p><p>“You barfed twice that day,” Donghyuck continued, trying not to put too much hope in his last-ditch effort to convince Jeno that he was telling the truth. “The director made you do the take so many times that you couldn't help it. You didn't even tell your mom for years, because—”</p><p> </p><p>“—because I was worried she’d stop the shoot and take me home.” Jeno interrupted Donghyuck’s memory, his expression growing serious and hard to read in a heartbeat. “I never told her. I never told anyone, Hyuck. How can you possibly know that?”</p><p> </p><p>“Because he’s telling the truth, Jen.” In the end, it was Mark who brought the last brick in Jeno’s walls tumbling down, which oddly sort of made sense in Donghyuck’s mind. He could actually see the moment that Jeno changed his mind, the thought telegraphed in the way his body slumped up onto the tabletop like a puppet with all of its strings cut, and the boy let out a groan of anguished frustration.</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t believe I’m considering this,” Jeno muttered, mostly into his empty ramen bowl. He sounded defeated, but Donghyuck couldn't help the small smile that he shared with Mark across the table as they made eye contact. Mark patted Jeno on the shoulder, which didn't seem to help any, but it did seem to encourage Jeno to sit up again and look at both of them. “How many people know about all of this?”</p><p> </p><p>“Including the two of you?” Donghyuck did the mental maths, adjusting for the very recent inflation, and held up the appropriate number of fingers. “Seven.” As he spoke, he recalled the strange events of the morning and realised that wasn't entirely true anymore. “Actually, it’s more than that. I don’t know about Ten yet, or Yuta, but Jaehyun-hyung definitely knows something. He’s waiting back at the house for me to talk to him about it, and I’m…”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re what?”</p><p> </p><p>He heard Mark say the words, and knew that he’d abandoned his sentence halfway through, but it had just struck him that he’d just walked away from his brother at the very moment that Jaehyun needed him the most. After who-knew how long of suffering in silence, Jaehyun had finally told Donghyuck what he’d figured out, and he’d just—left. He’d been so wrapped up in Mark’s arrival, and in how it felt to see him again, that he’d neglected the one person with whom he had the most to lose.</p><p> </p><p>“I need to go,” Donghyuck said decisively. He stood abruptly, shaking the table a little as he moved, and both Mark and Jeno quickly rose to stand with him. He knew that he must seem like a complete lunatic, abandoning his friends just seconds after he’d finally convinced Jeno that he was somewhere close to being sane, but every fibre of his being was telling him that he really needed to be somewhere else right now.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you need me to come with you?” Mark asked. There was no question or hesitation, just acceptance and unwavering support. Jeno nodded his agreement, and it almost made him weep.</p><p> </p><p>“No. You stay and enjoy your afternoon,” Donghyuck insisted. “I’ve gate-crashed long enough. I need to go and find my brother.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>To the person who created a Twitter account last week just to check that I wasn't dead, just know that I love you! It made my day, in a week that was particularly stressful, and it wasn't nearly as weird as you were worried it would be! &lt;3</p><p>I know I have a lot of comments backed up from 45 and 46, and I'll try to get to them all asap. Just know I read them all as they come in, and every single one was a highlight in my day to receive. I'm beyond grateful. &lt;3</p><p>And, as always, have a wonderful day! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0048"><h2>48. Chapter 48</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi! *waves* Again, it's been a little while.</p><p>While I have you here up top, I just want to say a huge thank you for 50k views. That's a mind-blowing number, and one that I can't possibly live up to, but I'm eternally grateful!</p><p>Hopefully, you're all staying safe and healthy, and you're not too overwhelmed by all the madness that is NCT 2020. This is, arguably, not the best time to be posting this, because NCity is a little busy preparing for the next few weeks of craziness right now, but I really wanted to get this out there before things properly start to get going and I get distracted. Long live OT23, I guess. What that means for the canon side of this fic, who tf knows?! I certainly don't, but I know I'm going to have fun explaining it all to Haechan-prime when/if he eventually makes it home.</p><p>(P.S. To the people on Twitter who saw the mini teaser I posted on Wednesday, I know it was a little mean. But just know that I actually originally planned for this chapter to end with that, rather than the way it does, so it could always be worse. &lt;3)</p><p>I hope you enjoy...</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Knowing that if he lingered for too long, he’d likely end up chickening out of his mission, Donghyuck bid a final goodbye to Mark and Jeno and then headed back out into the arcade. Mark waved to him as he walked away, which Donghyuck hoped was a sign that Mark wasn’t too upset by his abrupt departure. Even still, he made sure to flash them both a bright parting smile over his shoulder, just before he ducked behind a large machine bearing the original Tekken logo and disappeared fully from view.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Once he was out on the street, Donghyuck paused, trying to recall the final part of the route he and Mark had taken from the bus stop earlier. He was certain that they had approached the arcade from the right, so he quickly made his way down the street in that direction, retracing his steps until he reached a fork in the road that looked less familiar. It took him a few moments, blindly gawking at the passing people and traffic in all directions, but then he remembered that he didn't have any of Mark’s network issues and pulled out his phone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One perfunctory Naver search later, he was pretty sure he’d identified the bus stop he wanted—and the correct bus to get onto once he got there—so he pulled up a map application and set off in search of the blinking red dot on his screen. As it turned out, the route was a whole lot easier to follow when using an interactive map, and so he found himself back beside the familiar metal and glass structure within minutes. Whether by design or by accident, Mark had apparently chosen to take the scenic route—if you could call backroads and dingy alleyways scenic. If he was honest, Donghyuck strongly suspected it was a touch of both.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had to wait a while for the correct bus to arrive, perched on an uncomfortable bucket seat in the small, mostly empty waiting area, watching several others come and go, travelling between places he’d never even heard of. As he eyed people going about their business in all directions around him, he swung his legs absently, letting the toes of his shoes graze the coarse concrete beneath him, and tried to focus on absolutely anything other than Jaehyun.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was fighting a losing game, he knew, because every time he felt his mind drift or let his eyes flutter closed, he saw his brother’s face staring back, that pained look from earlier firmly entrenched in every pore. It was like a macabre game with himself that he just couldn't stop playing. Fight off the fear for a moment, then let it seep back in and have to grapple to regain control. Give and take, his mind sabotaging itself at its very core, and yet Jaehyun’s face always remained perpetually at the centre.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck was relieved when the next bus finally pulled up next to the curb, and he glanced up to see the number 116 emblazoned on the windshield. Hopping down from his seat, he followed a pair of young children onto the bus after their father and handed over the ticket stub Mark had given him earlier for the return journey. He didn't think Mark had expected him to be alone when he used it, or for it to be this soon after their arrival on campus, but he was grateful for the forethought regardless.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The journey back to Greek Row passed mercifully quickly, and Donghyuck was able to distract himself by watching the bustling streets and wide, open fields teeming with life as they passed by outside the window. It was the first time he’d been able to properly appreciate the beauty of the place he’d already called home for several months, without either being in the driver’s seat or with some other concern getting in the way, and the bus was soon pulling into a familiar street lined with manor houses as though mere seconds had passed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ten minutes later, he was pushing open the front door to the Annex, having narrowly avoided becoming an unwilling mascot in a game of flag soccer the seniors up at the main house were playing out on the front lawn, and kicked off his shoes with a sigh. It was almost too quiet in the living room, the music having long since ceased, but Donghyuck could hear low, muffled voices emanating from the general direction of the kitchen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaehyun-hyung?” he called, making his way over and peering in through the open kitchen door. Jaehyun was nowhere to be seen but, to his surprise, Jungwoo and Dongyoung were sitting together at the counter. Jungwoo had a plate full of breakfast food in front of him, as he shovelled a spoonful of eggs into his mouth, and Dongyoung had a large, particularly dry looking textbook open on the countertop in front of him. Neither of them looked up as he entered, so he coughed deliberately and gave a small wave from his spot by the door.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi, Dongyoung-hyung. Jungwoo-hyung.” Jungwoo glanced up from his eggs and flailed his cutlery in the air by way of greeting. Donghyuck smiled, meeting his eye, and Jungwoo returned the gesture easily, albeit a little sleepily. “Where’s everyone else?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Taeil took Johnny on a campus tour about an hour ago,” Dongyoung offered helpfully, flipping over to the next page in his textbook lazily before looking up. “Yuta was in here a few minutes ago. I think he went to check on—” He broke off, realising a beat too late exactly who he was talking to, and his lips pressed into a tight line as he blinked up at Donghyuck sheepishly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where is he?” Donghyuck didn't need to explain who he was talking about. The flicker of discomfort in Dongyoung’s expressive eyes spoke volumes, and the way Jungwoo seemed to suddenly find something profound in the depths of his orange juice didn't fill him with much confidence. “Did you talk to him?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s in his room, Hyuck, but he wouldn’t talk to me. He hasn’t spoken to anyone since you left,” Dongyoung admitted, his voice soft and his metre conspicuously even, like he was trying hard not to rile a wounded animal. Donghyuck’s chest tightened painfully, face falling as he processed Dongyoung’s words, but Jungwoo interjected before he could ask any other questions.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you know what’s going on with him today, Hyuck-ah?” he asked. His tone betrayed only polite curiosity, but the pinched skin around Jungwoo’s eyes told an entirely different story. Now that Donghyuck took a moment to take stock, there was a layer of tension that lingered in the air around them, like the thick, static hum that precedes an electrical storm. Dongyoung’s shoulders were tense, like he was anticipating a fight, and Jungwoo’s knuckles were bone white as he gripped his knife just a little too tightly to be comfortable.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I do.” Donghyuck knew that honesty was probably the best policy, even as he reminded himself that Jungwoo was the only person in the room—and possibly in the entire house right now—who was still completely in the dark about everything. “I shouldn’t have—I should never have left, but I’m here to make it right.” His eyes flicked over to meet Dongyoung’s keen gaze, and Donghyuck hoped that the older man could read the unspoken apology in his expression. “Do you think he’ll talk to me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>To Donghyuck’s surprise, it was Jungwoo who answered, rising from his seat and rounding the long counter as he spoke. “Hyuckie, baby.” He sounded so much like the Jungwoo Donghyuck knew in that moment that he almost teared up, but then Jungwoo was enveloping him in a soft, warm embrace and the light scent of the man’s cologne temporarily erased all of his thoughts. “I don’t know what happened between you, this time or last time, but I do know that he loves you. Everything will be okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Over Jungwoo’s shoulder, Donghyuck met Dongyoung’s eye. The unspoken question mark that hung in the air between them made it clear that neither was quite as confident of that truth as Jungwoo anymore, but his heart was in the right place. Donghyuck decided to allow himself to feed into the fleeting fantasy for just a few moments longer, burying his face into Jungwoo’s worn grey sweater as the man pulled him in even tighter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, hyung.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It took at least three more hugs, including one in which Jungwoo coerced a reluctant Dongyoung into a stilted group embrace, before Donghyuck finally left the kitchen. He felt even less prepared than ever to face Jaehyun, given that the undercurrent of fear he’d seen in Dongyoung’s eyes had taken up permanent residence in the forefront of his mind, but he also knew that he couldn’t put it off forever.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He met Yuta on the staircase, the older man emerging from the closest doorway at the top just as Donghyuck set foot on the very bottom step. He must have been in his own little world, because Yuta was halfway down the flight before his eyes landed on Donghyuck, causing him to stumble and almost trip. Instinctually, Donghyuck threw out a hand in front of him, as though he could hope to support the taller man’s weight if he fell, but Yuta caught the bannister at the last minute and halted his downwards momentum just in time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re back early, little one,” he murmured, swaying slightly as he regained his balance and then leant back against the wooden barrier that effectively cordoned off the living room from the upper floor. “I thought you were busy showing Mark around town.” Yuta grinned, a bright smile lighting up his whole face. “He sounds like he’s quite taken with you already.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I guess so,” Donghyuck agreed with a shrug. Yuta sobered quickly, catching on to Donghyuck’s mood, and then glanced down through the gaps in the bannister towards the kitchen. He took another step down towards Donghyuck, until he was just two steps above him, and then dropped a reassuring hand down onto Donghyuck’s shoulder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jaehyunie isn’t feeling well right now. Maybe a visit from his favourite brother will cheer him up though.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I highly doubt that,” Donghyuck muttered, low enough that Yuta wouldn't have a hope of hearing, and then he pointedly met the man’s gaze again. “Dongyoung and Jungwoo said you went to check on him. Did he talk to you about…?” </span>
  <em>
    <span>About me. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He wanted to ask outright, but he still didn't know how much Jaehyun had already told Yuta—how much Yuta </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He had to be prudent and cautious, Donghyuck reminded himself, to avoid alienating Yuta too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I asked him what was wrong, but he just told me to leave,” Yuta explained. A haunted look flitted across his face, like an errant cloud casting a shadow across the surface of the sun, and Donghyuck wished all over again that he could go back and do things differently. This thing, this deception with his brother was now visibly affecting everyone—and it was still all Donghyuck’s fault. “Did he say anything to you about what was wrong before you left?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He didn't talk to you at all?” Now Donghyuck was confused. He wasn't sure exactly what Yuta knew, but, based on the cryptic conversation he’d had with Ten that morning, he knew that the man in front of him had to know something. And, unless Yuta had a penchant for hiding in closets and listening in on his private existential crises in the middle of the night—given that Dongyoung had already refuted his involvement—he </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> to have talked to Jaehyun.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not a thing.” Yuta frowned, and scrubbed a hand over the small amount of stubble growing on his chin. He must not have shaved yet that morning, which made sense considering the threadbare shirt and pyjama trousers he was sporting. “He’s been harder to crack than Fort Knox these past few weeks. I actually asked him how you were the other week, when you seemed really down, and you’d have thought I was trying to extract state secrets through torture.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He didn't answer?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Didn’t answer?” Yuta let out a surprised bark of laughter, laced with just a hint of bitterness. “He nearly ripped my head off. Told me to stop snooping in things that didn't involve me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That didn't sound like Jaehyun, neither the one from back home nor the protective big brother he’d grown to care for here. The only times he’d ever seen Jaehyun get angry—or perturbed, even—was when his members, brothers, or friends were upset. When Chenle had been bullied at school for his accent. When another trainee had picked on Jaemin for his score on a monthly evaluation and had made him cry. When internet trolls had been spreading malicious rumours about Taeyong online.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun only ever lashed out to protect, and to take care of those he cared about. He was infinitely more likely to tell someone he loved them than to rip someone’s head off. Donghyuck couldn't imagine any logical reason why Jaehyun would have acted that way, unless he thought that he was doing it to protect…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” All of a sudden, realisation hit him like a slap to the face, and then Yuta was all up in his business. Donghyuck could hear him asking what was wrong, asking him why he was crying, but that only made the tears come faster. In the back of his head, he could hear the rational part of him reasoning that the tears ought to wait until </span>
  <em>
    <span>after</span>
  </em>
  <span> he was in Jaehyun’s room, pouring his heart out and praying that his brother wouldn’t leave him, but he couldn't stop them falling now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Was it something I said?” Yuta sounded frantic, pulling him into an awkward one-armed hug as best as he could, considering they were still positioned halfway up a steep flight of stairs, but Donghyuck could only shake his head and press his face deeper into Yuta’s shirt. “I’m sorry, Hyuck. I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a long minute, when Donghyuck no longer felt like his chest was in danger of imploding under the pressure of his realisation, he leant back a little and swiped a jacket sleeve across his red-rimmed eyes. He was grateful for Yuta’s arm around his waist, steadying him in case either of them over-balanced, and he was even more grateful when the older man made no move to remove it or step away from their embrace.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be sorry, hyung,” he insisted. Yuta started to protest, so Donghyuck shook his head again, more firmly this time. “It’s not your fault. It’s mine.” He paused, considering Yuta’s handsome face carefully. He looked so understanding, gentle and apologetic, and yet so utterly lost all at the same time. He really </span>
  <em>
    <span>didn't</span>
  </em>
  <span> know, Donghyuck concluded. That left very few explanations for him to explore, but he knew he had to turn over every stone anyway. “So, when Jaehyun wouldn't talk to you about me the other week, you... went to Ten instead?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was the only thing that made sense, even if it also </span>
  <em>
    <span>didn't</span>
  </em>
  <span> make any sense at the same time, and the way Yuta’s jaw clenched as he spoke let Donghyuck know that he’d finally hit on something concrete. “I—” Yuta hesitated, wrenching his gaze from Donghyuck to peruse a spot on the wall behind his head. “I didn't know what else to do. I was worried about you, Hyuck, and no one would tell me anything.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You have to understand,” Yuta continued, evidently not listening to Donghyuck as he barrelled through an explanation that felt oddly rehearsed. He sounded panicked, and entirely unlike himself. “I couldn't talk to any of my roommates, because it would get back to Jaehyunie, so I went to the only other person I thought I could trust. I understand if—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyung!” Yuta’s jaw snapped shut with an audible click. Donghyuck reached up and placed a shaky hand on the older man’s cheek, smoothing his thumb gently across the pale skin as though to remind Yuta that he was still there. Yuta blinked twice, snapping out of whatever corner of his mind he’d been trapped in, and finally focused back in on Donghyuck’s face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay. I don’t mind. I just wanted to understand,” Donghyuck insisted. He offered the man a watery smile, which broadened as an iota of Yuta’s otherwise indomitable brightness slowly began to return to his face. “Ten talked to me earlier and I was a little confused. I’m not angry though.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re not?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No.” Donghyuck thought for a moment, and then frowned. “What did you tell him though? Out of curiosity.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not much.” Yuta shrugged. “To be honest, he seems too smart for his own good. Like he knew more than I did, even though that’s impossible.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yuta chuckled at that, mentally brushing off the confusion Donghyuck could see in his eyes, but the uneasy feeling didn't immediately leave the younger boy. He’d just answered one important question, one that had been niggling at him for hours, but it had, in turn, raised a dozen more than he couldn't even begin to fathom. He had the feeling that he’d need to track Ten down to get to the bottom of things now, but he had more pressing things to deal with this afternoon.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, impossible,” he agreed dismissively, hoping Yuta didn't notice the way his voice shook slightly. Then he stepped back out of Yuta’s grip, left foot landing on the stair just below his right. He shifted neatly to one side, leaving room for Yuta to pass him, and then gestured up towards the landing. “I’m going to go and check on my brother. Hopefully, he’ll still want to talk to me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He will.” Donghyuck wished he had half of Yuta’s confidence. He sounded just like Jungwoo, so sure of something he barely understood, and Donghyuck wished again, just for a moment, that he could go back to a time before things had become so complex and twisted. If he could, he’d tell Jaehyun first, he knew that now. He’d tell him everything, and tell him he loved him. He’d hug him once, without any of the betrayal eating away at both of them, and then he’d let Jaehyun go. He’d protect him from all of this, just like Jaehyun had apparently been protecting him all this time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, hyung.” Yuta pushed up off from the bannister, slipping past Donghyuck and heading for the living room. As he passed, he looked intently up into the younger boy’s face, as though he wanted to say something more, but decided against it. Donghyuck let him go, not ready to get into another discussion that he might mess up, and started to head in the direction Yuta had come from.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyuck?” He paused at the sound of Yuta’s voice, his name spoken so breathily he could have ignored it and pretended he hadn't heard. He debated continuing to climb, to force one foot in front of the other, but this was his family. To him, Yuta was as much his family as Jaehyun had ever been. He was utterly powerless to ignore Yuta, especially when he spoke like that, like he was in pain.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” He looked back over his shoulder, one hand planted firmly on the wooden railing at his side. Yuta stood near the bottom of the stairs, staring up at him sadly. As their eyes met, something unreadable flickered across Yuta’s face, but it quickly vanished in favour of concern and affection.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know that you can tell me anything, right?” Yuta cocked his head to one side, eyes darting momentarily across to the open kitchen door that Donghyuck knew he would now be able to see from where he stood. Whatever it was that Yuta saw made him smile for a split second, but then his gaze met Donghyuck’s again and his expression shuttered. “All of us. I know you and Jaehyun are family, and it’s not quite the same as with the rest of us, but we’re here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You</span>
  <em>
    <span> are</span>
  </em>
  <span> my family, hyung,” Donghyuck told him unequivocally. “More than you know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yuta nodded, but Donghyuck could see in his expression that he didn't really believe that. After all, why would he? For all he knew—and Donghyuck knew now that that was almost nothing—Yuta was little more to Donghyuck than his brother’s roommate. He would never know how important he was to Donghyuck, how irreplaceable and utterly loved, unless someone told him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dongyoung-hyung?” Donghyuck didn't second guess himself this time. Even as his lips formed the man’s name, the decision had already been made. He knew that he might regret it later, like so many things that were still up in the air in his life, but he knew he’d delayed too long already. This had to happen, and it had to happen right now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Seconds later, Dongyoung's face appeared behind Yuta, concern and panic written large across his features. “Hyuck, is everything okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Everything is fine,” Donghyuck told him truthfully. There was an unspoken ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>for now</span>
  </em>
  <span>’ hanging in the air, circling lazily somewhere near where the staircase met the carpeted upstairs landing, but he ignored that for now. “I was just talking to Yuta-hyung.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh?” Dongyoung’s gaze shifted to Yuta for a moment, as though trying to figure out exactly where he might fit into their conversation, and Donghyuck sighed. It was now or never. He just hoped Dongyoung would be willing to go along with his plan.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” He pointed a thumb over his shoulder towards the top of the stairs. “I’m going to go try and talk to Jaehyun now, but I think it’s about time I started being a </span>
  <em>
    <span>lot</span>
  </em>
  <span> more honest with everyone.” Dongyoung’s eyes widened, darting from Yuta to the younger boy and back, but he didn't say anything. Ever observant, Yuta didn't miss the nervous exchange, and turned his attention to Dongyoung expectantly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know what’s going on?” Yuta asked incredulously. “And yet you didn't say anything. We asked you and you told us you didn't know anything.” Donghyuck guessed the </span>
  <em>
    <span>us</span>
  </em>
  <span> probably included Jungwoo, but he suspected that there was more to it than that. Either way, Yuta looked hurt and more than a little angry. “How could you—?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It wasn’t his story to tell, hyung,” Donghyuck interjected, cutting off the tirade Yuta seemed to be building up to. Dongyoung had paled and seemed to shrink under Yuta’s heavy gaze, but they both turned to look directly at him as he spoke. “I asked him not to tell anyone.” Donghyuck hesitated, and it felt like a monumental moment when he finally spoke again. “I’m now rescinding that request.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Haechan-ah…” He was certain that Dongyoung had fully understood when the man fell utterly silent, and then sighed heavily. “Are you sure about this?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I am.” Donghyuck smiled solemnly, and then tilted his head in Yuta’s direction. “I don’t know if Jaehyun will forgive me, but they both deserve to know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We can wait until—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know how long this is going to take,” Donghyuck said. “I’ll be down to fill in any gaps afterwards, but I trust you.” Dongyoung didn't say anything for a long moment, as Yuta tried and failed to choose one of them to look at and then settled on the vague middle distance instead. Then Dongyoung nodded and flashed Donghyuck a nervous half-smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Everything?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck gritted his teeth, even though he already knew the answer. They deserved nothing less than the full, uncensored, messy truth. He owed them that much. He owed everyone that much. “Everything.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck initially hadn’t been sure that he’d be able to remember which door was Jaehyun’s. However, now, standing outside and listening to the faint strains of lilting jazz drifting out from underneath it, he knew that fear paled into insignificance when compared to the hurdle that was actually entering the room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d lifted a hand to knock at least a dozen times, even going so far as to graze the painted wood with his knuckles the last few times, but he hadn't been able to bring himself to do it. By giving Jaehyun the chance to ignore him, the opportunity to explicitly reject his tentative attempt at communication, he knew that he would be playing into his deepest fears. He wouldn’t be able to bear it if this ended before it had even begun.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taking a deep breath, Donghyuck abandoned all semblance of social niceties, and twisted the handle down in one swift motion. The door swung in on itself, exposing the dimly lit living space beyond. The curtains were drawn, despite the early hour, and only the slimmest beams of pale sunlight crept in from outside. Jaehyun lay on his bed in the centre of the room, flat on his back on top of the sheets with one knee propped up and pointing skyward. Donghyuck couldn't quite make out his face, backlit by just a solitary lamp on the desk on the far side of the room, but he was willing to bet that his brother was staring at the ceiling.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck was abruptly reminded of an entirely different room, in an entirely different house back in Neo City. That room had been dim too, foreboding in a way that made Donghyuck’s skin crawl and his fight or flight instinct kick into high gear. Jaehyun had been in the office chair for most of that exchange, instead of on the bed, but otherwise, it was eerily similar. Yet, despite his fear, they’d both made it through that conversation relatively unscathed. Maybe there was still a glimmer of hope that Donghyuck could make it through this one too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you coming in?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck jumped at the sound of Jaehyun’s voice, echoing cacophonously through the darkness as though spoken from the pit of the deepest crevasse. He didn't know how long he’d been standing there, door propped half open against his shoe as he stared at his brother, but he suspected it was far too long to not be wholly unnerving. He opened his mouth to say something—anything—by way of apology, but nothing came out. Instead, he simply stepped further into Jaehyun’s room, letting the door swing shut behind him with a deafening click.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you want from me, Donghyuck?” Jaehyun didn't shift from his position on the bed, and he didn't look over at Donghyuck. His hand was fisted tightly in the sheets at his side, but that was the only thing that gave away the fact that he wasn't nearly as disinterested as he appeared. Everything else about the situation spoke of serene, engineered detachment, and Donghyuck wondered how Jaehyun could hide his emotions so effectively.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I—” What </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> he want, Donghyuck thought soberly? He’d played this scenario out in his head so many times over the past few days and weeks, hundreds of different circumstances and with dozens of different outcomes, but, now that he was here, there was just one solitary question rattling around inside his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you hate me?” Donghyuck wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer, but he couldn’t stop the words tumbling out of his mouth. He had to know, had to hear it from Jaehyun, even if the truth of it would destroy him. The man had every reason to, after all, and he knew that he was asking for a miracle to make it out of this conversation unscathed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I</span>
  <span>—</span>
  <span>” Jaehyun hesitated, just for an instant, but it was long enough for the bottom to fall out of Donghyuck’s world. “I really don’t know.” He still didn't move, didn't look to his brother for a reaction, so Donghyuck stayed silent, waiting to see what he would say next. He waited so long that he wondered if Jaehyun might have fallen asleep, but then Jaehyun sighed wearily. “I’m lost, Hyuck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My brother took so much from me,” he continued. Donghyuck didn't dare move, for fear of disturbing Jaehyun’s train of thought, but the man had barely acknowledged his presence. “I loved him with all of my heart, and he broke me. I tried so hard to be the best brother I could be, to be good enough for him, and I thought that he loved me back. I thought everything was fine, until suddenly, one day, it wasn't anymore.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know the rest, or you know as much as I do. You know how much it meant to me when we talked things out at the house that day. It felt like a fresh start, a way for us to rebuild some of what we’d lost.” Jaehyun paused, letting out another heavy gust of air, and Donghyuck thought he could feel the vibration deep inside his very soul. “I know now that you’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> him, and I don’t blame you for any of what he did, but it’s so hard to separate the two of you in my head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Whenever I look at you, I see him. Whenever I close my eyes and think about you, I see that day that he told me he never wanted to speak to me again. That he wished I was dead. I see that, and I </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> deep down that it’s not the same person, but... you have his face, Hyuckie. You have his eyes, his smile, and it haunts me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.” Donghyuck didn't know if Jaehyun would be able to hear him from all the way across the room, but he couldn't help the words that slipped out. He’d known that it had to be hard for Jaehyun to reconcile the two of them in his head, but to hear him say it out loud like this broke his heart.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not your fault, little bro—” Jaehyun sighed. “It’s not your fault, okay, but you have to cut me a little slack. I forced myself to hate him. I forced myself to learn to hate my baby brother, </span>
  <em>
    <span>my</span>
  </em>
  <span> Donghyuck, to mask the pain of losing him. A part of me still hates him, even though I’ve never stopped loving him after everything he did, but I don’t hate </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>. That paradox is messing with my brain, and it’s making it hard to separate out my feelings for you from my feelings towards him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I understand,” Donghyuck said slowly, letting his voice penetrate a little further into the room this time. Jaehyun tensed, fist clutching the sheets beneath him tighter for a moment, before he released them and lifted both hands to press them to his face. He smoothed them through his hair, a shudder rippling through his entire body as he did so, and then he let his arms fall limply back against the bed at his sides again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you know what the worst part is?” Jaehyun chose that moment to move, twisting his head until he was looking directly at Donghyuck. It was too dark to make out more than the rough outline of his features, but the younger boy could feel the weight of his gaze as he fixed him with an inescapable stare. “The worst part is that you didn't tell me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I waited,” Jaehyun told him morosely. “I knew that it had to be hard for you to know who to trust, so I tried to show you how much I cared. I hoped that, if I was supportive enough and gave you the opportunity to make the decision at your own pace, eventually you’d confide in me. Eventually, you’d trust me enough to tell me the truth.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I do trust you, hyung.” Jaehyun’s gaze didn't leave him, but Donghyuck felt like he’d already been judged unworthy and discarded. He couldn't even blame Jaehyun at this point, given that he was right about everything. Donghyuck did trust him—with his life, if it came to it—and yet he hadn't told him the truth. Hadn't trusted him with his most important secret. “I wanted to tell you. I just…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You told mom, but you didn't tell me.” Halfway through the sentence, Jaehyun’s voice cracked, and it was like a rift had opened up in the floor between them along the faultline. “I know I had no right to demand or expect the truth from you, but it hurt. It still hurts, Hyuckie. I felt like I wasn't good enough. Like I’d failed you all over again. Both of you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You didn't fail him then, hyung, and you haven’t failed me now.” Donghyuck didn't know how to make Jaehyun see the truth of that, and he could already feel the distance between them growing with each passing second, but he knew he had to try. “This is on me, okay? This is my fault. You’re the best brother I could have ever asked for, and both of us were—are—lucky to have you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wish I believed that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I believe it,” Donghyuck insisted, taking a step towards Jaehyun for the first time since he’d entered the room. Jaehyun tracked his movement, hair rustling against the pillow as he moved. “I know you don’t have to forgive me for lying to me, nor do I expect you to, but I’ll spend whatever time you’ll allow me trying to convince you of it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun didn't say anything to that, and Donghyuck felt the sinking despair tug at his heart again, but he forced himself to ignore it for the time being. He could fall apart later. He didn't even care if Jaehyun saw or not, but he had questions to ask and answers to provide that both of them had been waiting far too long for.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How much do you know?” he asked finally, wrapping one arm protectively around his core. He was under no illusions that it would protect him, if Jaehyun chose to twist the knife already embedded deep in his gut, but it felt like he was doing something proactive to try to combat the pain that was looming on the horizon. “I mean, how much have you put together on your own.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Enough,” Jaehyun said gruffly. Between one heartbeat and the next, he heaved himself up off the bed and into a sitting position, feet planted on either side of Donghyuck’s legs. They were so close now that Donghyuck could see the whites of Jaehyun’s eyes, even in the low light from the lamp and for between the curtain cracks, but the younger boy was frozen to the spot. He couldn't move, couldn't breathe, couldn’t...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know that Dongyoung-hyung knows,” Jaehyun continued, like he was entirely unaffected by the mere inches that now separated them. “I know that mom knows. And your friends from school. The ones you brought to the Epsilon Eta Phi party a few months ago.” He paused, tilting his head back a little so that he could make eye contact with the boy looming over him. “How am I doing so far?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How could you possibly…?” Donghyuck groaned as the truth deposited itself into his head like letters through a mail slot. “That day at the house. I was talking to mom in the kitchen.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn't mean to eavesdrop.” Jaehyun had the decency to sound mildly chagrined, but then he shrugged unapologetically and ruined the illusion. “I came home early to see if you wanted to hang out together, and I overheard you telling her everything.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That noise in the hallway.” It wasn't a question. The final mystery of that day settled into place seamlessly, as though the puzzle had never been incomplete, and Donghyuck felt his knees buckle slightly. “That was you.” Jaehyun just nodded, and his gaze drifted down to his hands in his lap as he allowed Donghyuck time to process that revelation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyung, you have to believe me when I say that I </span>
  <em>
    <span>wanted</span>
  </em>
  <span> to tell you. Not telling you has been eating away at me for weeks, months even, but I couldn't figure out the right way to tell you. I didn't want to hurt you,” Donghyuck added. He itched to reach out and touch Jaehyun, to let him feel how sorry he was, but he forced himself not to move. “I thought that, if I figured out the right way to explain, I could avoid…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Avoid what, Donghyuck?” Jaehyun’s words were biting, acerbic even, but there was still a faint undercurrent of vulnerability and pain lashed to each one. It threatened to tear what was left of Donghyuck’s resolve to shreds, even as he realised that Jaehyun already knew the answer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>To avoid </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Donghyuck thought to himself mutely, tracing the curve of Jaehyun’s tense jaw agonisingly slowly with his gaze. </span>
  <em>
    <span>To avoid this.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It doesn’t change anything,” Donghyuck said a moment later, when it became clear that Jaehyun was waiting for him to reinitiate conversation, “ but the truth is that I was scared to lose you. I can’t lose you.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You may see Donghyuck when you look at me, but I see Jaehyun when I look at you. The other Jaehyun. He’s my—you’re my brother, hyung. We may not share blood where I’m from, but he’s my family. You—you both are.” His voice wavered just a little on the last part, and he cleared his throat before falling silent, but Donghyuck knew that Jaehyun had the right to know the full truth. More so than anyone else in this reality.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s he like?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” Donghyuck couldn't be sure that he’d heard correctly, because Jaehyun’s voice had been little more than a whisper, but as the man repeated the question he knew that he’d heard every word.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What is he like? You—your Jaehyun?” Jaehyun made a soft noise deep in his throat, one that Donghyuck knew would likely stay with him for a very long time, and then a single tear rolled slowly down his brother’s face. “Tell me about him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He—” How could Donghyuck begin to explain the phenomenon that was Jeong Jaehyun—Jeong Yoonoh—to Lee Jaehyun? How could he fully express the unconditional love that he had for both of them in mere minutes? They were so different, discrete and vibrantly unique individuals, and yet the fundamental spark that made them who they were was the same. They were two sides of the same coin, and he already couldn’t bear the thought of ever having to say goodbye to either one of them. “He’s a lot like you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I find that hard to believe.” Jaehyun chuckled, despite the tears that had started to fall more rapidly down both cheeks. Donghyuck finally let gravity take its course, and felt his knees impact the floorboards beneath Jaehyun’s rug as he knelt to allow himself to better see his brother’s face. He captured one of Jaehyun’s hands in his, twining their fingers together, and pressed his cheek to Jaehyun’s knee to help ground him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The core of who you are is the same,” Donghyuck explained, feeling the fabric of Jaehyun’s sweatpants beneath his face start to get damp from tears he hadn’t even realised he’d shed. He swallowed thickly, not even bothering to fight back the tide he could feel cresting, and met Jaehyun’s eye in the darkness. “You’re both kind. You’re both selfless. You’re both smart, loving and fiercely loyal to a fault. You’re also both stubborn as hell, and you can make me smile just by walking into a room. You’re the best brothers anyone could ever ask for, and I’m honoured to have been able to get to know both of you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are!” Donghyuck didn't give Jaehyun the opportunity to protest, ploughing on with a long-overdue speech. He vowed there and then that he’d tell the other Jaehyun the same thing the next time he saw him, and that he’d do his best to convey his feelings to each of his other brothers as soon as he was able. “I love you so much, hyung. Not because he’s you, or you’re him, but because you’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I know I’ve hurt you, and you might not be able to forgive that, but I love you, hyung. Nothing will ever change that for me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For a long moment, Jaehyun was silent, the only sounds in the room created each time Donghyuck took a breath, but then a shaking hand eased its way slowly into Donghyuck’s hair. The fingers of Jaehyun’s free hand curled around the base of Donghyuck’s neck, massaging gently, and then Jaehyun seemed to collapse in on himself as he slumped over and into Donghyuck’s field of vision.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s nothing left to forgive,” he whispered. Donghyuck’s breath hitched, the tears coming thicker and faster than he could blink away now, but Jaehyun wasn't finished. He let his nails scratch lightly against Donghyuck’s scalp, making the younger boy melt into a metaphorical puddle against his precarious knee perch, and then took another long, shaky breath. “I already forgave you a long time ago, little brother. For everything. I love you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love you too, hyung.” Donghyuck wasn't even sure that his words were comprehendible anymore, but he hoped Jaehyun could grasp their meaning well enough. “So much.” For a while, they just sat in companionable silence, one of Jaehyun’s hands clasped tightly in his and the other easing leisurely through his hair. Donghyuck would have been content to let this moment reign in perpetuity, but eventually, Jaehyun sighed again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re wrong by the way.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“About what?” Donghyuck shifted a little, trying to ease the pressure on his knees, and Jaehyun tugged at their conjoined hands until he stood and sat beside him on the bed. He leant into the older man’s side, and Jaehyun looped his arm around Donghyuck’s shoulders, not breaking contact for even a second. “Hyung?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re wrong,” Jaehyun repeated, giving Donghyuck’s fingers a brief, tight squeeze. “I may be a great many things, but I’m far from selfless.” He smiled down at Donghyuck, but the gesture seemed forced. He looked almost sad, even though they had just begun their path to reconciliation for a second time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t give yourself nearly enough credit,” Donghyuck began, but Jaehyun shook his head dismissively.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not being self-effacing right now, Hyuck,” he explained. “I’m not selfless, because I often find myself being entirely too selfish for my own good when it comes to you.” Jaehyun paused, using his newly free hand to brush his hair out of his eyes. He had stopped crying, but moisture clung to Jaehyun’s cheeks like it couldn't bear to let go. “I’m selfish because I love you. I’m selfish because, even though I know I shouldn’t, I like you more than I like my own brother. Hell, I like </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span> better when I’m with you, when I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>around</span>
  </em>
  <span> you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyung—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please let me finish.” Donghyuck acquiesced immediately, and Jaehyun gave his hand another squeeze. This time it felt more like he was trying to reassure himself than Donghyuck, and the free hand that was now back in his lap shook slightly as he spoke. “I like being around you, and I love having you in my life, despite everything. And I’m completely selfish, because I don’t want you to leave. I know that I‘ll have to let you go eventually, but I already don’t want you to go. I want you to stay here, with me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck didn't know what to say to that. He didn't have a good answer, or some magical solution up his sleeve to make all their problems go away and to make everything okay overnight. He couldn't even promise Jaehyun that he’d stay, couldn't promise Jaehyun anything except today, so he said nothing. Instead, he curled in towards the man who was his brother in every way that mattered, allowing Jaehyun to pull him down onto the bed in a tangle of limbs, and let himself cry for both of them.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Did anyone spot either of the not-so-subtle references in here? If you did, bragging rights are available in the gift shop on your way out.</p><p>Anyway, as I alluded to at the top, this almost ended up going in a much darker direction, but I ultimately just wasn't feeling it. I hope that, whatever you were hoping for, this ended up being somewhat satisfying, and that I did my boy Jaehyunie justice. He deserves the entire world, and really just I want him to be happy. Let me have this one...</p><p>As always, have a wonderful day! &lt;3</p><p>(Oh, and I plan to go through and replace my lazy punctuation throughout with actual em dashes at some point this week, so, if you see minor changes popping up, that's why. I've been lazy for far too long, and the whole fic just looks ugly. It's high time I fixed it. :))</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0049"><h2>49. Chapter 49</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Fun fact: Of the 240k+ words I've written for this AU, 3014 of them are the word 'Donghyuck'. Also, my Google Doc finally decided to stop functioning properly today, so this chapter almost got lost to the internet gods. Thankfully, I managed to save it, or I would have been very sad!</p><p>Anyway, it hasn't quite been two weeks this time, so I'm counting that as progress. September has been crazy busy in work and in life, and I'm ready to see the back of it now. Hopefully, things will quieten down a bit, although I'm not making any promises.</p><p>This one is a little shorter than normal, but it's a bit of a bookend chapter for the manic week Hyuck has had. Next time, we go back to school and start to gear up for the endgame, so today I'm offering up soft boy hours and fluff (and two new POVs). I hope you enjoy! &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He wouldn’t trade this moment for anything, but Jaehyun had to admit that the stabbing, needling sensation coursing through the arm that Donghyuck was using as a pillow was less than ideal. He shifted a little on the bed, trying to get comfortable, but the younger boy had only just fallen asleep and he didn't want to risk waking him. Donghyuck had eventually exhausted himself a few minutes ago, innumerable tears shed and dried to mourn everything they had both lost—and everything they still had to lose—but Jaehyun felt oddly numb.</p><p> </p><p>That wasn't to say that he didn't feel as acutely as Donghyuck did about the whole messy situation, he reassured himself, as he tried and failed once again to get comfortable. There was so much going on in both of their lives that it would be so easy to get overwhelmed, and for Jaehyun to allow himself to spiral into hysterics, but one of them needed to be able to think objectively about all of this. Donghyuck needed him to be strong enough for the both of them right now, so that was what Jaehyun would do, in so much as he was able.</p><p> </p><p>Jaehyun let himself drift for a long time, the physical discomfort eventually fading into insignificance as he focused on matching Donghyuck breath for breath. He centred himself in each slow inhale and exhale—deep, rhythmic and mercifully unburdened in sleep—and reminded himself that he still had time left to cherish with his beloved brother like this, before fate pulled them apart again. All he had to do was make the most of it.</p><p> </p><p>Eventually, however, Jaehyun could no longer ignore the basest call of nature and rolled slowly onto his side, carefully manoeuvring Donghyuck across onto his pillow and gingerly extracting his borrowed limb. He sat up, trying not to jostle the mattress too much as he moved, and kicked his slippers out from their position under the box spring. As he neatly slid them onto his feet, the younger boy snuffled softly, causing Jaehyun to freeze in place for a moment, but then Donghyuck just tucked his face into his brother’s pillow with a sigh and rolled over onto his front.</p><p> </p><p>It took another few seconds, vigorously massaging at the flesh of his arm, for sensation to fully return to Jaehyun’s nerve endings. When it did, it wasn't entirely pleasant, but he made his way out into the hall and beelined for the bathroom regardless. Taking care of his needs quickly, Jaehyun could hear the faint sounds of his roommates’ voices from downstairs as he emerged from the bathroom, so he decided it was high time he joined them. He knew that, at the very least, he owed Yuta and Dongyoung an apology for his shitty attitude towards them earlier today.</p><p> </p><p>“Have you actually<em> seen</em> this list?” Jaehyun recognised that tone, as he descended the staircase and rounded the corner into the living room. Yuta was pacing the scant space between the sofa and the television, a frown etched into his usually tranquil features, while Jungwoo and Dongyoung occupied opposite ends of the large couch. “I’m not doubting you, Doie. I’m also not doubting Hyuck, but you have to admit that it sounds crazy.”</p><p> </p><p>“I have—” Dongyoung started to answer Yuta, but Jaehyun chose that moment to trip over his own feet and unceremoniously announce his arrival. As three sets of eyes snapped to his face, Jungwoo performing a particularly impressive feat of acrobatics to contort his body enough to see over his shoulder from the far end of the sofa, Dongyoung’s words died on his tongue. Instead, he just blinked once, twice, and then fell silent.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t stop on my account,” Jaehyun told him with a wave of his hand. Claiming the chair nearest to Dongyoung, he eased into it and folded one leg over his other knee. He hoped the move looked appropriately casual, masking his surprise at the topic of conversation as he got comfortable. He didn't know exactly how much Dongyoung—or Donghyuck, although that was less likely—had told the others, but it couldn't hurt to throw his support behind his brother’s story. He just hoped Donghyuck was okay with this. “It does sound crazy, but it’s true.”</p><p> </p><p>“You believe him?” Yuta sounded like all the air had been punched out of his chest in one swift attack, but his gaze didn't leave Jaehyun’s face as he spoke. He opened his mouth again and seemed to be debating whether or not to continue speaking, but then he sighed and sank down onto the rug next to the coffee table.</p><p> </p><p>“I do.” There was not a single iota of Jaehyun’s being that was in doubt as he spoke the words. He knew that his brother, the one who was currently missing in action, would be more than capable of concocting something like this to manipulate and hurt him. It had been his mission in life to make Jaehyun’s life miserable, for reasons he wasn't sure he’d ever understand, but Donghyuck hadn’t known he was there that day when he’d told his story to their mother. If there was one person in the universe Donghyuck would never intentionally hurt, it was her.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s good enough for me,” Jungwoo said softly, pursing his lips in careful contemplation. Jaehyun’s eyes widened as he stared at the freshman, who looked mortified by the intense attention he had just attracted, but then Jungwoo just shrugged. His cheeks flushed a little as he pressed on, but his voice was unwavering. “You know him better than any of us. If you believe him, then so do I.”</p><p> </p><p>“I—.” Jaehyun stared in astonishment at the younger man for another few seconds, then let a grateful smile spread across his lips. “Thank you.” Jungwoo quickly returned the gesture a hundredfold, eyes dancing with a gentle warmth that lit up the entire room, before they both glanced over at Yuta as if on cue. To his credit, the older man looked somewhat mollified, but still largely unconvinced.</p><p> </p><p>“As I was saying,” Dongyoung said after a moment, turning his attention back towards Yuta. “I’ve seen the list. I’m on it, you’re on it. We’re all on it, including our two new roommates, neither of whom we’d heard of until last week.” He took a deep breath, and then continued. “I was convinced long before that, as you know, but, unless Hyuck is actually psychic, he’s...”</p><p> </p><p>“...from an alternate reality?” Yuta finished for him. He sounded a little tired, but there was a hint of a smile on his face. Dongyoung nodded, neatly brushing a stray hair out of his eyes, and Yuta’s smirk bloomed into a full-blown toothy grin. “I guess you make an excellent point, however crazy it all seems.” He glanced over at Jaehyun again, and then tapped a finger against his knee thoughtfully. “So, how are you coping with all of this, Jaehyunie?”</p><p> </p><p>“Me?” For a moment, Jaehyun wondered if it was possible to get whiplash while seated in an armchair in one’s living room. He’d expected Yuta to have more questions—it was understandable that he’d want to know more from him, or from Dongyoung—but that question had come completely out of left field. “What do you mean?”</p><p> </p><p>“He’s your brother,” Yuta clarified, expression quickly morphing into something closer to compassion than confusion. “I’m just realising that none of us have ever actually met your real—” He hesitated, eyes darting from Jaehyun to Dongyoung and back, before continuing. “We never met the other Donghyuck, but he’s your brother. It must be hard to deal with all of this.”</p><p> </p><p>Jaehyun let himself sink back further into the thick cushioning of the chair at his back, and sighed. He knew what Yuta was asking and, from the curious look in Jungwoo’s eyes and the worried one from Dongyoung, he knew the answer that was to be expected. If only they knew how little guilt he really held, when it came to the truth. The truth that he’d selfishly forced upon the boy currently sleeping in his bed upstairs. The truth that he never wanted Donghyuck—Haechan—to leave.</p><p> </p><p>“My relationship with my brother was virtually non-existent before all of this happened,” Jaehyun explained, scrubbing a hand over his cheek. He hadn't realised how exhausted he was until this moment, but he was committed to seeing this conversation through now. “Hyuck has given me the chance to experience what a real relationship with him could have been like.</p><p> </p><p>“We talked about a lot of things today, things that we both needed to get off our chests. It’s not enough, not yet, and there’s a lot more that both of us need to unpack with each other, but I’m grateful for the time that I’ve been able to spend with him so far. I don’t want him to go, but I know that my brother is out there somewhere in the universe… and that he needs me.”</p><p> </p><p>Jaehyun smiled softly then, despite the heavy subject matter, and the image of Donghyuck buried in his pillow upstairs floated to the forefront of his mind. “At least now, I have twenty or so reasons to hope that he might be able to change.”</p><p> </p><p>“Change?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.” Jaehyun nodded at Dongyoung, who looked baffled. He hadn't expected to say the words, hadn't even realised that he believed them until they were already out in the open, but the truth of them settled deep and heavy in his gut as he continued. “The Donghyuck that’s asleep upstairs right now is a really special kid. He has so much love to give and, from what I’ve managed to gather so far, he has us to thank for that.”</p><p> </p><p>Dongyoung’s brows rose steadily as he seemed to finally register Jaehyun’s meaning, but he didn't interject. Across the coffee table, Yuta frowned from his position on the floor, while Jungwoo just stared blankly at them, so Jaehyun did his best to articulate the chaotic jumble of thoughts that were rapidly forming and reforming inside his head.</p><p> </p><p>“He grew up with us. The<em> other</em> us. He’s been with them since he was a teenager—a kid, basically. From what I can see, they must have done a pretty good job. If there’s even a chance that my brother is with them, I’m hopeful that things might improve. Maybe—” Jaehyun paused. “Maybe they can get through to him in a way I never could.”</p><p> </p><p>After that, the room fell silent for a while, each of them lost to their thoughts. It was long enough that Jaehyun found himself drifting into sleep, long legs stretched out under the coffee table as the others resumed a hushed conversation amongst themselves. He could hear Jungwoo and Yuta asking questions of Dongyoung, details that he must not have managed to convey the first time around, but Jaehyun was content to allow him to take the lead.</p><p> </p><p>Dongyoung had been a rock and a confidante for Donghyuck since long before Jaehyun had been able to be, and he would be eternally grateful to his hyung for the loyalty and love he had shown to his brother. If Donghyuck trusted the man to be his mouthpiece to the others, to the rest of their family, Jaehyun certainly wasn't going to argue.</p><p> </p><p>When Jaehyun woke again, the artificial lights overhead were on, compensating for the setting sun that was now just barely visible through the large bay windows that flanked the seating area on either side. The others were still sprawled out around him, but Johnny and Taeil must have returned from their campus tour at some point and joined them. Johnny had claimed the chair on the opposite side of the sofa, while Taeil had his head pillowed in Yuta’s lap on the rug. The television was on, although Johnny looked to be the only one watching it, and the room was quiet, save for the muted noise from the show playing on screen.</p><p> </p><p>At first, Jaehyun wasn't sure what had woken him, but, as the fog cleared a little, he realised that half of the eyes in the room were currently focused on a spot just over his shoulder and towards the stairs. Twisting around awkwardly in his seat, he met Donghyuck’s eye as the younger boy hovered hesitantly near the base of the staircase. He was no longer wearing his jacket, the one he’d fallen asleep in, and was instead swamped in an oversized grey hoodie that Jaehyun thought he recognised from his closet.</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck looked so small and uncertain, so on display and exposed to the perusal of the men gathered in the living room, that Jaehyun’s heart broke for him in that moment. His dark hair stuck up on one side from the position he’d been sleeping in, and his cheek had a small red mark on it that Jaehyun couldn't identify. He blinked owlishly behind his glasses, eyes unfocused and glassy, and his bottom lip trembled reflexively as he avoided making direct eye contact with anyone.</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck would have no way to know how Yuta and Jungwoo had taken the news Dongyoung had imparted on them, Jaehyun realised, as his brother shifted uncomfortably. Not to mention, Taeil and Johnny returning home would make things more complicated yet again, since he couldn’t openly talk about it without fresh explanations. Donghyuck had also clearly just woken up, as Jaehyun had, and was now being thrust into the middle of an unfamiliar situation, one that he was likely not yet ready to deal with.</p><p> </p><p>“Did you sleep well?” Before Jaehyun could move, arm half-raised to beckon Donghyuck over, Jungwoo was out of his seat and halfway across the room in a few strides. When he reached Donghyuck, he wrapped him into a hug so fierce that it temporarily obscured the younger boy completely from view. Jaehyun watched as Jungwoo ducked his head, murmuring something into Donghyuck’s ear, but they were too far away from him to hear what was said. Whatever it was, when Jungwoo stepped back and started to lead Donghyuck over towards the sofa, the boy was visibly more relaxed.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyung. Oof—” Donghyuck hadn’t made it a single step beyond the arm of the chair Jaehyun sat in, before Yuta was barrelling into him with the force of a tropical storm. He actually lifted Donghyuck off his feet with the impact, pulling him into a hug that looked a little too tight for comfort. If he thought the same, Donghyuck didn't show it, letting his forehead drop heavily onto Yuta’s shoulder as he wound his arms securely around the older man’s waist.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry I didn't tell you sooner,” Jaehyun heard Donghyuck whisper into the crook of Yuta’s neck. Taeil looked up curiously from where he sat in a heap on the floor, having been unceremoniously displaced from Yuta’s lap in favour of the new arrival, but, if he heard the hushed words, he didn't comment. Yuta just shook his head and set Donghyuck down gently, leaning back so that he could look him in the eye.</p><p> </p><p>“You have nothing to be sorry for, little one,” he insisted, doing his best to blind Donghyuck and everyone in his immediate vicinity with a bright smile. Donghyuck folded back into his arms for a few more seconds, and then allowed Yuta to put some distance between them. Yuta’s grin turned wicked, a mischievous bent to the way his lips curled up at the corners, and he glanced over to make sure Johnny was suitably distracted by the show he was watching and Taeil was out of earshot. “So, how does it feel to have to go through puberty twice?”</p><p> </p><p>“Hyung!” Donghyuck smacked Yuta hard in the arm, but a startled laugh forced its way out through his lips as he moved. His eyes darted quickly across to Jaehyun, who was watching the two of them with unguarded affection on his face, and then Donghyuck contorted his face into an exaggerated grimace. It screwed up his whole face, reminding Jaehyun of a petulant eight-year-old, but it couldn't quite mask the rampant amusement in his eyes. “If you must know, having to do algebra again is way worse.”</p><p> </p><p>After another light-hearted jibe about Donghyuck not being old enough to drink anymore, Yuta returned to his spot beside Taeil. Immediately, the oldest of their little family started to pester him with whispered questions, many of which Jaehyun suspected would be directed towards him in the not-so-distant future, but he pushed that aside for the time being. He’d worry about that tomorrow, when he’d had a chance to ask Donghyuck what he wanted to do about Taeil—and, by extension, Johnny and Mark.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyuckie?” Donghyuck turned to face him immediately and Jaehyun shifted to one side, patting the seat of the chair at his hip in invitation. Donghyuck offered him a grateful smile, still looking slightly lost as he blinked at his brother through sleep-clouded eyes, and quickly curled into his side on the seat. It was a tight fit with both of them in it, despite it being oversized, but Jaehyun wrapped an arm around Donghyuck’s shoulders and they rearranged themselves until they were seated comfortably side by side, one of Donghyuck’s legs thrown haphazardly over Jaehyun’s thigh.</p><p> </p><p>“You okay?” Jaehyun leaned down to speak directly into Donghyuck’s ear, so that only they would be able to hear. Donghyuck nodded, letting his cheek come to rest on Jaehyun’s shoulder in lieu of an answer, and Jaehyun pulled his brother in closer. Donghyuck was warm, almost unbearably so in the already warm room and in such close proximity, but Jaehyun would be damned if he was going to push him away. He’d endure a thousand times worse, if he could stay in this moment forever with his family—his chosen family.</p><p> </p><p>“So, I was thinking about growing out my hair,” Yuta announced loudly a few minutes later, effectively curtailing all of the individual conversations happening around him. Taeil rolled his eyes as he met Jaehyun’s gaze but, beside him, Donghyuck leant forward and tapped his chin thoughtfully.</p><p> </p><p>“You should,” he told Yuta, who was now absently running his fingers through his neatly cropped black hair. “You’d look good with longer hair.” He paused, grinning at the man who now had his undivided attention. “You’d look good blonde too.”</p><p> </p><p>“You think so, or you know so?”</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck chuckled. “Both.”</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Mark didn't know what he’d been expecting to return to, as he pushed open the door to his new home and stepped inside, but six people in various stages of unconsciousness spread out across the living room was not it. The television was on, cycling through some reruns of a show he was sure he’d seen before, but no one seemed to be paying it any notice.</p><p> </p><p>His brother was slumped in the chair nearest to the screen, chin tucked into his chest as he snored softly. Each time he exhaled, a single strand of hair fluttered up and off his brow, and Mark couldn't help but smile as he watched the tiny movement. Nearby, Yuta and Taeil were talking quietly with each other on the floor by the coffee table, while Jungwoo looked to be passed out on top of Dongyoung on the sofa.</p><p> </p><p>Dongyoung glanced up as he entered, giving him a small wave, which he returned after he’d kicked off his shoes. He tucked them as neatly as he could next to Johnny’s boots, perched precariously on top of the messy pile by the door, and then tried to make as little noise as possible as he moved closer, to avoid waking anyone. He made eye contact with Jaehyun as he joined the rest of the household, noting that Donghyuck was sprawled half on his brother and half on the floor as he too snored softly. Mark thought it looked incredibly uncomfortable, but Donghyuck didn't seem to mind.</p><p> </p><p>“How was your afternoon?” It was Dongyoung who spoke, shifting Jungwoo in his lap carefully so that he could slide along and make room for Mark at the end of the couch. He took the offered seat gratefully, even as Jungwoo pouted in his sleep at being moved, and leant back into the corner where the arm met the sofa back.</p><p> </p><p>“It was good.”</p><p> </p><p>“Did you…?” Dongyoung let his question trail off, watching Mark’s face intently. It was like he wanted to ask something, but didn't quite know how to bring it up. It took the younger boy a few seconds, but then he recalled what Donghyuck had said about the people he had entrusted his secret to. He didn't remember all of the names, but he knew that Donghyuck trusted Dongyoung explicitly.</p><p> </p><p>“He told me,” Mark murmured. Dongyoung’s eyes widened in surprise at his words, but he quickly schooled his expression into something more neutral.</p><p> </p><p>“Told you what, exactly?”</p><p> </p><p>“Everything.” Mark paused, then clarified. “Well, not everything, but enough. He said that you knew too.” Dongyoung nodded, seemingly stunned into silence. Mark got the feeling that didn't happen to this man a lot, so he tried to help him out. “He would have said more, I think, but he left the arcade in a hurry. Did he manage to talk to his brother?”</p><p> </p><p>Dongyoung’s gaze was momentarily drawn to something behind Mark, but then his keen eyes focused back on Mark’s face. “You should probably ask <em> him </em> that.”</p><p> </p><p>It was at that moment that Mark remembered that Jaehyun was both awake and sitting in the chair immediately to his left. Turning with a sheepish expression dawning on his face, he tried to mentally prepare himself for that particular apology. However, he needn’t have bothered, because he was greeted with a yawning Donghyuck, who blinked sweetly at him as he shifted around in Jaehyun’s lap to face the room.</p><p> </p><p>“Hi.” His voice sounded rough from sleep, and residue from something that looked alarmingly like tears still littered his cheeks, but the small smile that graced Donghyuck’s lips distracted Mark from whatever he would have said to Jaehyun.</p><p> </p><p>“Hi. Everything okay?” Donghyuck didn't seem to be especially upset—or not anymore—and, from the expression on Jaehyun’s face, he thought their confrontation had probably gone well, but Mark had to be sure. Donghyuck’s smile widened, and his eyes threatened to be swallowed up by his slightly swollen cheeks.</p><p> </p><p>“It is now.”</p><p> </p><p>“Good.” Mark glanced up at Jaehyun again, who was now staring down at his brother with so much love in his eyes that it made Mark’s heart squeeze painfully. “I’m glad.”</p><p> </p><p>For a few moments, the room lapsed back into peaceful silence again. Donghyuck stretched and yawned as he watched, almost smacking Jaehyun in the face with a stray, flailing arm, and then he fixed Mark with a slightly more coherent gaze. “Did Jeno get home okay?”</p><p> </p><p>At that, Jaehyun and Dongyoung made twin grunts of surprise from either side of them, and Mark almost laughed at the bizarre symmetry of it. As he glanced from one to the other, he could actually see them both putting the pieces together in their heads, and eventually coming to the same conclusion. Dongyoung must have reached it a few seconds before Jaehyun, because he cleared his throat a little too loudly as he skewered Mark with a piercing stare.</p><p> </p><p>“Jeno is your friend, Mark-ssi?” he asked. Donghyuck chuckled softly and nodded. Mark followed suit, and Dongyoung frowned. “And he’s also your friend from school, Hyuck-ah?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah. It’s a small world, huh?” Donghyuck shrugged, and Jaehyun took the opportunity to jump in.</p><p> </p><p>“Just when I think things can’t get any more strange,” he mused. Mark couldn't argue with that, given the bizarre day he’d just had, but the man’s words did remind him of something important that he needed to tell Donghyuck.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyuck?” He waited until Donghyuck’s eyes met his own, and then continued. “I should warn you. Jeno was already on the phone with one of your other friends when I left him at the bus stop a few minutes ago. He thought that they would probably want to talk to you when he was done.”</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck paled a little and started to stand, but Jaehyun’s arm around his waist made that a challenge. Instead, he only succeeded in tripping over Jaehyun’s foot, curled beneath him, and crashed back down heavily onto somewhere that—if the man’s pained gasp was any indicator—Mark suspected was close to Jaehyun’s reproductive organs.</p><p> </p><p>“Which friend?” Donghyuck asked, but Mark suspected that he already had someone in mind. As he opened his mouth to speak again, the telltale sound of a ringing phone echoed through the room and Donghyuck’s hand went immediately to his pocket. “Shit.”</p><p> </p><p>This time, Jaehyun let him get up safely, cringing as the boy shifted in his lap to pull out his phone before he stood. Donghyuck glanced down at the caller ID and sighed, which Mark wasn't sure how to interpret, but didn't hesitate to answer. He cradled the phone close to his ear and paced quickly over towards the kitchen, but that didn't stop the ear-splitting shriek from the person on the other end penetrating the eardrums of everyone in the room.</p><p> </p><p>“So…” Mark didn't want to look away from Donghyuck, who had started to pace as he listened to whatever was being said, a faint, embarrassed smile quirking his lips upwards, but Johnny’s voice demanded his attention. He met the man’s eyes, peering past Dongyoung and a newly awakened Jungwoo, and saw an all too familiar, knowing look reflected back at him. “Are you looking forward to starting school on Monday, Mark-yah?”</p><p> </p><p>“I—” On autopilot, Mark almost told his brother that, of course, he wasn't. He liked school well enough, and he had been good at it back in Chicago, but no one relished the first day at a new school, let alone in a new country. However, something deep down inside pulled him up short and he hesitated. He glanced back over at Donghyuck once more, taking in the mussed hair, bright eyes and animated persona as he talked rapidly into the device at his ear.</p><p> </p><p>Mark knew that it was crazy to even entertain the thought, but he couldn't help the instant, inescapable attraction that he felt towards this impossible boy. Donghyuck had effectively bulldozed his way into Mark’s life—into his heart—in a mere matter of hours, if he didn't count the weeks and months he had spent featuring in Mark’s dreams. It was just the connection to their other selves pulling him in, Mark knew that from a logical standpoint, and yet the truth was just as inescapable. He was half in love with Donghyuck already, and threatening to fall ever deeper with each passing second.</p><p> </p><p>“Mark?” Johnny’s voice pulled Mark out of his head and back into the room, where he realised that he now had five pairs of eyes trained on him from all sides of the coffee table. He let out an awkward chuckle, uncomfortable with the sudden influx of attention, and met his brother’s gaze again.</p><p> </p><p>“What was the question, hyung?”</p><p> </p><p>“I asked if you were looking forward to starting school.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh.” Mark flushed and dropped his gaze into his lap, to avoid having to look at Johnny as he answered. He didn't know about the rest of them yet, but Johnny had always had the uncanny ability to see right through him. If their eyes met, he would know how Mark felt in an instant, would see more of his heart than Mark wanted to share just yet, and he couldn't risk that. “Actually, you know what? I think I am.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh?” Johnny sounded surprised.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” Mark said. “I wasn’t, but now...”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Now everything was different. Because of him. </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>As ever, a huge thank you to everyone reading for their support. I'm woefully behind on replying to comments, but know that I love each and every one of you with all my heart!</p><p>Have a wonderful day! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0050"><h2>50. Chapter 50</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A lot has happened behind the scenes in my personal life over the last few months, and it's all been a bit hectic. The part you need to know about, and the part that will impact my writing going forward for a little while longer, is that I applied for and got a small promotion at work. As a result, I have to take a professional exam at the start of December (I haven't taken an exam in years, so I'm not thrilled about it), and will have to maintain my current, unreliable upload schedule until then. After that, however, I will do my best to put together something much more consistent, so please bear with me through the next month or two. I'll get there, eventually...</p>
<p>TW: Implied/Referenced Homophobia. Please be aware of the new tag. It's largely preemptive for the next chapter, and I don't plan to get too deep into homophobia and its consequences in this particular fic, but it will be discussed. And it may come back up later in some form. Please be warned. If you aren't comfortable with that, please feel free to talk to me about it and/or to skip the next couple of chapters. I do my best to signpost issues when they're discussed, but it's inevitable that it would come up at some point.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>To Donghyuck’s complete lack of surprise, when he set foot into homeroom first thing on Monday morning, there were already two familiar faces waiting impatiently for him inside. He’d made sure to arrive well ahead of the rush, knowing that the inquisition was coming, but the ear-splitting battle cry that Jaemin let out as they locked eyes across the classroom was almost enough to have him running for the exit instead.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Don't even think about it, Lee Donghyuck,” Renjun told him unequivocally, taking in what must have been a look of alarm on Donghyuck’s face as he froze in the doorway, and then a hand was clamping down firmly on his forearm, dragging him over towards Renjun’s desk in the middle of the room.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Good morning,” he offered, flashing them both a weak smile. Jaemin just laughed and slung an arm around his shoulders, effectively trapping him in place, as Renjun hopped up onto the flat tabletop behind him and fixed Donghyuck with a keenly intrusive stare. For a moment, none of them spoke, each sizing up the others to see who would crack first, but then Renjun let out a huff and caved like a house of cards.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Tell us everything,” he said quickly, eyes sparkling with undeniable interest. Donghyuck just shrugged and let Jaemin pull him tighter in under his arm.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I told you everything over the phone already,” he insisted. “Twice.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well, yes,” Renjun agreed, sounding put-out for reasons that Donghyuck couldn't fathom, before waving his hands excitedly in front of him. “There has to be more to it though. Something you maybe forgot before.” He hesitated, glancing up at Jaemin over Donghyuck’s shoulder, and practically vibrated in his seat. “I mean, you finally<em> found </em> him!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I know.” Donghyuck couldn't quite believe that part himself yet, even though his mind had played the events in question on a near-constant loop for the last couple of days, but he didn't know what else he could divulge to the rapturous audience before him. “But Jeno told you his side of the story too. You probably know more than I do at this point.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>That wasn't entirely accurate, given that he’d already heard from them second-hand all of the minute details gleaned from Jeno’s brain, but his main point still stood. His friends had called him the second they’d gotten off the phone with their boyfriend that day, demanding an in-depth play by play, and then they’d talked no less than four times in the two days that followed. They both knew everything he did. They’d all analysed, theorised and then subsequently freaked out to within an inch of their sanity in the same number of days, so Donghyuck doubted there was any new ground left to tread.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Do you think we’ll get to meet him today?” Jaemin cut off an open-mouthed Renjun before he could speak, causing the older boy to pout adorably. Behind him, Donghyuck could feel the pressure in his shoulders starting to build as Jaemin allowed more of his weight to press down onto his friend, but he couldn't bring himself to push him away. “I know he’s starting today, but he’s a senior. What if he wants to hang out with the other seniors instead? What if he doesn’t want to talk to us?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“NaNa…” Renjun rolled his eyes, an affectionate smile spreading slowly across his lips. “I love you, but you’re a complete idiot. He’s best friends with Lee Jeno. The same Lee Jeno who you happen to be—” He glanced over towards the door abruptly, evidently checking that they weren’t about to be interrupted, and then lowered his voice to just above a whisper. “—the same person you happen to be dating. Why wouldn’t he want to talk to you?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’re dating him too,” Jaemin bit back, mimicking Renjun’s hushed, terse tone perfectly. Donghyuck couldn't see Jaemin’s face from where he stood, back pressed up against the younger boy’s chest, but the blush that bloomed high on Renjun’s cheeks at Jaemin’s words told him that heavy winking was probably involved.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He groaned in mock disgust and pushed Jaemin off him, the momentum of which resulted in them both stumbling forward into Renjun. Jaemin let out another yelp, this time one of surprise, and then collapsed into Renjun’s chair off to the side, as Donghyuck caught himself just in time to avoid a potentially painful collision with the angular corner of the desk.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What was that for?” Jaemin grumbled, not bothering to move from where he’d landed. Renjun rolled his eyes at both of them, but Donghyuck didn't miss the hand that snuck out to thread its way through Jaemin’s hair from his vantage position above the younger boy. He also didn't miss the way that Jaemin relaxed into it, like he’d almost forgotten his train of thought, and closed his eyes at Renjun’s touch.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“He’s going to absolutely love both of you,” Donghyuck told them earnestly, after a few seconds of silently watching their affectionate interactions. “Trust me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A few of their other classmates chose that moment to enter the room, breaking up their conversation, but Donghyuck didn't need to say more. He still wasn't sure of much, aside from what he could manifest for himself, but there was no way that Mark Lee—the same soul he’d known for what felt like half his life—wouldn’t adore the rest of his family as much as he did.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>--</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Donghyuck knew from first-hand experience what it was like to have a new student turn up at school in the middle of the school year—especially one who was sure to attract as much attention as Mark Lee—but even he didn't expect the news to travel quite as quickly as it did.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His first class of the day was relatively uneventful, if a little more subdued than normal as they slowly got used to studying again after winter break, and then the second followed in much the same way. His fellow students talked amongst themselves, sharing vacation stories in hushed whispers whenever the teacher’s back was turned. A girl excused herself to the bathroom halfway through, inexorably interrupting the flow of the lecture. One particularly memorable highlight of the hour was when a boy at the back almost fell out of his chair after falling asleep. All in all, absolutely nothing out of the ordinary.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Perhaps it was this mundanity that lulled Donghyuck into a false sense of security, meaning that he was already half an hour deep into a mind-numbing lesson on advanced calculus before he caught on to a whispered conversation taking place between his seatmate and their nearest neighbour.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He knew the boy to be Park Jongsoo, one of Jeno’s teammates on the soccer field and someone he shared a homeroom class with, but he’d not made much effort to befriend the boy after his first day at the school. However, he thought Jaemin had mentioned that they were supposedly friends of sorts, or he hoped that was the case, so he wouldn't look like a crazy person for injecting himself into the conversation playing out beside him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“He just joined the soccer team today,” Jongsoo was saying, as Donghyuck angled his body pointedly towards the boy in the seat beside him. He was leaning away across the aisle, talking to a pretty girl seated behind a desk a few steps away, but he wasn't making much effort to keep his voice down. “Coach said he’s supposed to be really good.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“How come he didn't transfer at the start of the year then?” The girl frowned in confusion at Jongsoo, seeming to be struggling to process the context behind her question fast enough for her own liking, but the boy just shrugged dismissively.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No idea. I asked around, but no one knows yet.” Jongsoo tapped a finger thoughtfully on the desk in front of him, attracting the curious gaze of several other students, all of whom were slowly turning their attention away from their textbooks and onto the conversation happening behind them. “He looks Korean, but apparently he’s a foreigner. Someone said they saw him talking to Yukhei-hyung this morning, out near the soccer pitch, but they left before he could find out anything else.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“He must be an ace to be scouted from abroad in the middle of the school year.” Another girl in front of Donghyuck turned to face them, long dark ponytail narrowly avoiding smacking him in the face as she moved. Donghyuck thought her name was Yongsun. She fixed Jongsoo with a look that promised earned superiority, and smirked confidently. “My sister is a senior. She’s in his homeroom class, and she told me that he didn’t speak to anyone for the whole hour this morning.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“She’s right.” This time it was a boy two rows behind Donghyuck. The group was now making far too much noise for the teacher not to have noticed but, for whatever reason, she had chosen not to bring it to an end. Donghyuck wondered if she wasn't the tiniest bit curious about the mystery transfer too, deep down, given that she made no attempt to hide the fact that she was staring at them as he looked up. “My cousin sat behind him in her first class, and he only spoke to answer his name. Mark Suh.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Wah!” The first girl, now peering around Jongsoo to look at the boy who had spoken, gaped in surprise, her eyes widening as she took in the gossip from her peers. “He must be so cool. I bet he’s handsome too. As a foreigner and a mystery, he has to be.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She sighed wistfully, and Yongsun opened her mouth to say something else, but the laugh that had been slowly building in Donghyuck’s chest chose that moment to burst forth. He tried to catch his breath and stop it, knowing that it would seem incredibly rude to the people around him, but the guffaw that escaped was full-bodied and bordering on hysterical.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What?” The girl looked irritated now, and more than a little hurt. Jongsoo turned, abruptly shifting his attention onto Donghyuck, as did what felt like half the room, and he frantically waved an apologetic hand at her as some of the colour drained from his face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sorry,” he said earnestly. “I wasn't laughing at you.” She didn't look convinced, and neither did anyone else, so he knew he was going to have to elaborate. He didn't think Mark would have many secrets left by the end of the school day at this rate, if the student body here was anything like that of the school in Seoul they’d gone to the first time around, but he still chose his words carefully. “It’s just, he wishes he was that cool. Lee Ma—uh, I mean... Mark-hyung is the least mysterious person in the universe. Really.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hyung?” It was like that single word acted as a homing beacon, and suddenly every gaze in the room was locked onto him. Donghyuck swallowed hard, trying to ignore everyone except Yongsun, who was the one who had spoken, but he could feel the eyes on the back of his neck like tiny needles burrowing under his heated flesh. “Do you <em> know </em> him?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>That was an extremely loaded question, he thought wryly, as he maintained eye contact and tried not to let his discomfort show too plainly on his face. He knew that he’d effectively backed himself into a corner with his words, and that he should have just apologised and left it at that, but it was too late for hindsight now. There was no way he was going to tell them the whole truth, for obvious reasons, but he still needed to skirt close enough to it for his story to seem believable.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We’re both friends with Lee Jeno,” he explained. “I met up with Jeno at an arcade last week and Mark-hyung was with him.” This version ignored the fact that he’d arrived at said meeting with Mark already in tow, and that he knew Mark better than any of them could possibly imagine, but he didn't think that level of honesty would go over well with this crowd. “He’s just a normal person.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There was a few moments of complete silence, during which Jongsoo seemed to be trying to bore a hole into the side of Donghyuck’s head with his gaze, but then the teacher abruptly remembered that they were in the middle of class and called the attention of the room back to the front. Slumping back into his seat, Donghyuck tried to ignore the sea of eyes still sneaking furtive glances at him whenever her back was turned, focusing instead on the first sentence he spotted on the textbook page in front of him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You know that Hyojin is going to kill you, right?” Donghyuck’s head snapped up at the sound of Jongsoo’s voice, the boy leaning in so close that his warm breath tickled the tiny hairs in Donghyuck’s inner ear. He instinctively leaned back and away, which allowed him to see the apology reflected in the other boy’s eyes before he spoke. “Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s fine.” Donghyuck forced himself to smile, even as his brain finally caught up with the words his seatmate had spoken. “Wait, who?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yang Hyojin.” Jongsoo seemed confused by the question, but Donghyuck wasn't sure why. Was this a name he was meant to be familiar with? At the obvious lack of comprehension in his expression, the boy continued. “Your best friend.” Donghyuck frowned. “I know you don't spend much time with the rest of us anymore, because you’re too busy with drama and your job, but surely you haven’t completely forgotten about her over winter break.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“My best friend,” Donghyuck echoed lamely, wracking his brain to try to figure out what it was that he was missing. It took a few long, agonising moments, to his shame, but eventually, he managed to muster up the hazy image of a petite girl with long, jet black hair and a button nose. She’d followed him almost everywhere for the first few weeks of the school year, even as other students had eventually given up on trying to get his attention, but he hadn't spoken to her in months. “I haven’t—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You really don’t check the group chat anymore, do you?” Jongsoo continued, blissfully ignorant of Donghyuck’s plight. The boy pulled his phone from his pocket, flicking quickly to an app icon Donghyuck had seen on his own phone—although one he’d never bothered to explore—and then held up the device just enough under the desk for him to see. There were several messages on screen, from a plethora of names that he didn't recognise, but a new one from one Yang Hyojin popped up from the bottom as he watched.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> If you hear anything else, let me know immediately. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Donghyuck opened his mouth to ask for some semblance of context, but another message emerged from the depths of cyberspace, this time from someone called Ahn Hyejin.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Yongsunie just messaged me. Apparently, Donghyuck met him over break. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Donghyuck glanced up just in time to see Yongsun surreptitiously sliding her phone into her pocket under her desk, before turning to flash him an innocent smile. He ignored it, turning back to Jongsoo, who was peering at the messages on his own device with a worried look on his face. The phone vibrated again softly several times, signalling a flurry of new messages arriving, but Donghyuck ignored them for the time being.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why would she be about to kill me?” he asked. “I only met him once, and I haven’t seen her yet today.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jongsoo laughed dryly, before realising that Donghyuck was serious. Sobering quickly, he started to offer an explanation. “She staked her claim the second she laid eyes on him this morning.” He rolled his eyes, while Donghyuck tried hard to refrain from doing the same, and then shrugged. “You know what she’s like.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He had absolutely no idea what she was like, Donghyuck thought to himself, as Jongsoo continued to talk him through whatever nonsense she’d been spouting in this group chat, but he didn't like the tiny spark of jealousy that arced through him at the thought of someone staking any sort of claim on his best friend. He knew that he had no right to be that possessive of Mark, especially here. He also knew that nothing was stopping Mark from talking to—or dating—anyone he liked, but that didn't mean he had to like it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“She doesn't even know him,” he said bitterly. Jongsoo’s eyes widened, letting Donghyuck know that he’d probably revealed a little more of his emotions than he would have liked, but that already seemed to be a running theme for today and it wasn't even lunchtime. “What if he doesn’t like her back?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Impossible.” The girl on the other side of Jongsoo scoffed, leaning forward over her desk to see around the other boy’s head. She eyed Donghyuck up and down once, then continued. “Half the boys in our year are in love with her. She ignores all of them, except you, but apparently this Mark Suh is suddenly good enough for her.” She scrunched her nose up as though the thought displeased her. “He’s a lucky guy.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah…” Sensing that he wasn't going to get anything more out of either of them, he turned back towards the front of the room and tried to ignore the complete lack of doubt in the girl’s voice. It was as though it was a done deal; this Hyojin had decided she wanted Mark, and everyone just accepted it. The thought left a bad taste in his mouth, even as he tried not to picture the fuzzy image of her he had in his head, standing next to Mark with her hand on his forearm. “I guess.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>To take his mind off that particular mental image, Donghyuck retrieved his phone from his pocket and navigated to the app icon that Jongsoo had opened earlier. When he tapped it, a home screen for a messaging app he’d never heard of opened up and he could see several dozen conversations that all appeared to have ended at various points throughout the summer months.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Right at the top, a tiny red bubble counting slowly up from somewhere in the mid three thousands drew his attention to the group chat that the other boy had mentioned. When he opened it, he could see that it had automatically taken him to the last message he’d interacted with.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Call me, Hyuck-ah. You’re not answering your phone. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sent by—no big surprise—Yang Hyojin, Donghyuck expected to see a familiar date beneath it, indicating the date that he had taken over this Lee Donghyuck’s life and unintentionally erased all of the boy’s friends from his life. However, if the text on screen was to be believed, she’d actually sent it in early June, more than a month before he’d taken ownership of the phone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Unsure what to make of that, he exited out of the chat, ignoring the daunting number of messages further down, and checked what looked to be a private message thread with Hyojin herself. That too had been dormant since early June, although he’d been the last one to leave a message in there.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Don’t ask me again. I’m done talking about it. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>What that was supposed to mean, Donghyuck had no idea. A cursory scroll back through the previous few pages of messages revealed nothing of interest—except that this girl had a disturbingly extensive repertoire of cutesy pet names for him—but it did remind him of something that Jongsoo had said to him earlier. Something that had seemed odd at the time, but which had been buried in favour of more pressing questions.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey?” He tapped on Jongsoo’s shoulder to get his attention, and then waved his phone to indicate the topic of conversation. The boy frowned at him, but waited for him to continue anyway. “When did Hyojin say she spoke to me last?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He was aware that it was a weird question, but the boy had definitely mentioned their friendship in the present tense, despite what the tiny date in plain text on his screen beside her name would seem to indicate. Jongsoo had also mentioned something about a job, which didn't make a lick of sense either, but he’d stick to a single question for the moment, until he figured out what was going on.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Um…” There was a moment of hesitation, but then Jongsoo clicked his tongue and smiled. “Yesterday. She said you two hung out a few times over break, and that she called you last night to ask about the drama rehearsal tomorrow after school.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Huh.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What’s wrong?” Donghyuck blinked down at his lap, trying to piece together the bizarre narrative that this girl had apparently woven for the pair of them, but came up empty. Instead, he returned Jongsoo’s smile with a politely detached one of his own.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Nothing,” he insisted. “I’m fine. I just forgot.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He must have sounded sufficiently convincing, because the boy beside him finally stopped scanning his face with concern and relaxed back into his seat. Still, there was clearly a lot going on here that Donghyuck wasn't party to, and he suspected he’d have to go directly to the source for answers. For whatever reason, Yang Hyojin wanted badly for the rest of her—their—friends to believe they were still in contact, despite that not having been true for quite some time, and he needed to know why.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The bell rang at that moment, effectively ending any further conversation, and Donghyuck made quick work of packing away his belongings. The textbook took a few tries, putting up a fight before he finally managed to shove it inside his backpack, but then he was hurrying out of the classroom and into the bustling hallway.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He had a lot of new questions after the last half-hour, many of which he wasn't entirely sure he really wanted answers to, but now was not the time. Right now, he just wanted to find Jaemin and Renjun, claim their usual lunch table, and eat in peace. Hyojin, Jungsoo and whatever his apparent former best friend wanted with Mark could wait until after he’d eaten his sandwich.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>--</p>
<p> </p>
<p>To Jaemin’s immeasurable disappointment, Mark did not show up to lunch.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Neither did Jeno, although he did message Renjun to let them know that the soccer team had been called away last minute for an impromptu meeting, to allow Mark to meet his new teammates properly. As he ate and listened to Jaemin telling them about a challenging essay he’d already been assigned, Donghyuck wondered briefly how Jongsoo was reacting to meeting the man, the myth, the mystery that was Mark Suh, but quickly pushed that to the back of his mind when his two favourite freshmen materialised at his elbow.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey, hyung,” Chenle said brightly, beaming down at Donghyuck and then over at Renjun and Jaemin across the table in turn. Jisung didn't say anything to anyone, to no one’s great surprise, but he did offer the table an awkward wave with the two fingers of each hand not firmly clamped around the edges of his lunch tray. “Can we sit here?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Do you really need to ask?” Donghyuck frowned a little at the look of surprise on Chenle’s face, as though he hadn’t already made it clear that they were both welcome any time, but Jisung clearly had no such hang-ups. He claimed the seat opposite Renjun immediately, dropping down onto the bench and turning his attention straight to his food. “Apparently not…”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thanks, hyung,” Chenle claimed the seat beside Jisung a second later, sliding onto the bench with significantly more grace and restraint than the younger boy, and picked up his chopsticks. He glanced down at his food, then over at Jisung—who looked to be trying to set a record for speed-running the eating process—before placing the cutlery back down onto the tray again. “Have any of you heard the rumours going around?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What rumours?” Renjun asked, before Donghyuck could. As though suddenly realising that he’d sparked a rare thread of genuine intrigue among the table’s occupants—all eyes save from Jisung’s now squarely on him—Chenle blinked uncomfortably and rubbed a hand over the back of his hair. He opened his mouth to answer, then met Jaemin’s intense stare across the table and seemed to clam up immediately.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“He means the dating rumours,” Jisung offered, pausing just long enough for the words to leave his mouth before he shovelled in another spoonful of food. “The relationship everyone is talking about.” Chenle nodded in agreement, grateful for the interjection, but Donghyuck just frowned at both of them. That hadn't been what he’d been expecting at all, given the intense interest in Mark’s arrival from his peers in class.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What relationship?” he asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“There’s always people breaking up or making up around here,” Jaemin added, waving one hand dismissively at the crowds of people eating around them in all directions. “It’s high school. What makes this rumour so interesting?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Because it’s—” Chenle hesitated, gaze darting from Jaemin to Renjun and back before he continued. “It’s not a boy and a girl.” He ducked his head as he uttered the last word, breaking eye contact with the two older boys on the opposite side of the lunch table like he couldn't bear to look at either of them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Opposite Jisung, Renjun froze in place like he’d been petrified, the fingers of one hand clenched around the edge of the table so tightly that his knuckles turned white. Beside him, Jaemin wasn't as obvious with his reaction, but the way his eyes narrowed and his lips pinched together at the corners let Donghyuck know he wasn't as unaffected as he appeared.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Where did you hear that from?” Donghyuck spoke up when it became clear that neither of his friends was going to. His voice was slightly higher than usual, but he hoped Chenle wouldn't pick up on it. Now was not the time for a voice crack.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It suddenly occurred to him that he had absolutely no idea what the social landscape here was like with regards to sexuality, since many of his family both here and at home had been relatively open and transparent so far about their orientation and preferences. That was something he had always been grateful for in NCT, even as the world outside their dorms actively shunned people like him, but it struck him in that moment that things might not be the same for people here.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“A girl in our English class was talking about it this morning,” Chenle said, nudging Jisung to get his attention. “Isn’t that right, Jisung-ah?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The younger boy looked disgruntled to have been disturbed from his noodles, but abandoned his cutlery at his best friend’s request. He propped his chin up on his palm, elbow resting on the table next to his near decimated tray of food, and fixed Jaemin with an odd look that seemed to take the older boy aback a little.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Apparently, her noona was at the university dance showcase we all went to last month,” he explained, as Chenle nodded enthusiastically next to him. “She said she saw two boys from school there...uh, together. Like, <em> together </em> together.” Jisung paused, tilting his head to one side as though he could better parse the contents of Jaemin’s brain from that angle. “Heejin said that her sister didn't know their names, but that she recognised them. There are already a lot of rumours going around among the freshmen classes as to who it could be.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I haven't heard anything like that.” Renjun looked ready to bolt from the table as he spoke, but Jisung—and, by extension, Chenle—was still firmly zeroed in on Jaemin, who was starting to look more and more uncomfortable by the minute. “Have you, Hyuck-ah?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“N—no…” Donghyuck wasn't keen on lying to the maknaes but, despite their open hearts and minds in his reality, he had no idea how they might react to the situation with Jaemin, Renjun and Jeno here. He still had no idea how Mark was going to react, if he was honest, a concern that he suspected that he and Jeno shared in spades, and the last thing he wanted was to out someone who didn't want to be outed. “I—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We were wondering if it was you and Jeno-hyung,” Chenle told Jaemin matter of factly. Jaemin sat back from the table abruptly, like he’d been physically slapped by the younger boy’s words, but his stony facial expression didn't change. Meanwhile, Chenle must have finally caught on to the tension building between them, because he tried to backpedal immediately. “I didn't mean… It’s just that I’ve seen you two together, and—” He glanced over at Jisung, who all of a sudden looked like he wanted to sink through the floor. “We’ve known for a while—and obviously I support you—but I, uh, didn't know how to bring it up.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’ve tried to tell him that it can’t be you two, hyung, but he wouldn't listen,” Jisung interjected, not taking his eyes off Jaemin’s face for a second. “It doesn't matter to me who they choose to date, but it’s clearly not them, LeLe.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It doesn’t matter to me either!” Chenle squeaked out, cheeks flaming bright crimson with embarrassment, at the exact same moment that Renjun chose to lean forward across the table, reckless determination glinting in his eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What makes you so sure it’s not them?” Renjun snapped. He seemed to almost surprise himself with his words, lips tightening into a tight, impenetrable line as soon as they were freed, but Donghyuck had to admit that he was equally curious. The three of them hadn't yet been overly forward with their burgeoning relationship in public, for good reason, but they were all fairly touchy with each other by nature. For Jisung to sound so sure of his convictions, there had to be something else going on.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Exactly.” Chenle elbowed the boy beside him, and then gesticulated in Jaemin’s direction. “I’ve seen them holding hands in the hallway before, when they thought no one was watching.” Jaemin’s eyes widened even further than Donghyuck thought possible, even as the boy maintained his silence, but Jisung just shook his head dismissively.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s not them.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why not?” Chenle challenged, temper flaring for just a moment as he glared at his friend.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Because Heejin’s sister mentioned <em> two </em> boys.” Jisung glanced over at Donghyuck for a brief moment, as though gauging his reaction to the situation, and then turned his attention back to Renjun and Jaemin. “And that wouldn’t explain why Renjun-hyung has been holding Jaemin-hyung’s hand in his lap ever since we sat down.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A beat later, two hands reappeared on the tabletop next to one another, Renjun’s grey sweater paw clashing garishly with the fabric of Jaemin’s school blazer against the white lacquer of the lunch trays framing them. Their palms faced resolutely outwards and away from each other, both boys shifting further from each other on the bench on instinct in response to Jisung’s statement, but it was too little too late.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They must have realised as much too, Donghyuck noted, because Renjun’s fingers abruptly twitched and then clenched into a tight fist, his expression clouding with worry from one second to the next, as Jaemin appeared to physically deflate in his seat under the heavy gaze of the two freshmen opposite.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well, shit.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>As ever, talk to me in the comments or on <a href="https://twitter.com/galaxy_neozone">Twitter</a> if you have something constructive to say, or if you have any questions, suggestions or concerns.</p>
<p>Have a wonderful day! &lt;3</p>
<p> </p>
<p>[P.S. Major life updates above aside, some not-so-small-responsibility for my lack of productivity lately has to fall on the shoulders of <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/romulus_adhara/pseuds/romulus_adhara">Alex</a>—and <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosywonu">Bibi</a>, neither of whom read this fic, so I can say whatever I want—who has kindly agreed to be the scapegoat for my descent into the inescapable black hole that is 'Among Us'. Blame her...and feel free to go comment on her fics (which are amazing, incidentally), if you feel so inclined, if only to distract her from getting me to play that game instead of writing.]</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0051"><h2>51. Chapter 51</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Long, heartfelt author's note ahead. Beware...</p>
<p>I know that some of you really wanted this AU to be one in which homophobia doesn't exist at all. I get that. There are some fictional worlds in which that would make sense but, for this particular story, I think that would do the characters a huge disservice. As many of you have figured out by now, this reality runs in parallel with canon (more or less...). Homophobia exists in our world, whether we like it or not. As such, I don't want to just ignore it. Instead, I want to highlight (in whatever tiny way I can) the good that we as a human race can do for and with one another.</p>
<p>That said, I'm not going to suddenly spring any uncomfortable or challenging plotlines on you. It is only a discussion, but these are teenagers who are embarking on relationships that are, unfortunately, not widely socially accepted in the country they live in. They are going to talk about it in this chapter. All the boys are (without exception!) supportive of each other, I will say that upfront. But, if you're not comfortable with them discussing it, perhaps this is not the chapter for you.</p>
<p>Also, I just want to say that I have never personally experienced prejudice or discrimination because of my race, gender identity or sexual orientation. Mark's feelings about love and attraction in this chapter are representative of my own, if anyone is interested, but I know that I speak from a place of extreme privilege. If anything in here is incorrect, or not representative enough of reality, please let me know! I want, more than anything, for this to be a safe space for you, as the reader, to enjoy Hyuck's story! &lt;3</p>
<p>TW: Mentioned/discussed homophobia.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> “Well, shit.” </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jaemin’s words were little more than a whisper, hanging in the air between them like a wispy cloud of panic, but the silence that followed was thick and uncomfortable. Chenle and Jisung couldn't seem to look away from Jaemin’s stricken face, while Renjun’s eyes darted back and forth between the three of them so fast that Donghyuck suspected he’d soon start to feel dizzy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He desperately wanted to say something to ease the tense atmosphere that had been created at their table—so at odds with the bustle and vibrancy of the rest of the student body around them—but he didn't want to make things worse. While Donghyuck was tangentially involved, by virtue of his friendship with all four of them, it was Renjun and Jaemin’s story to tell, if they so chose. This almost certainly wasn't how they would have planned on revealing it to Jisung and Chenle, but whatever followed was not something Donghyuck had any right to dictate or interfere with.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m sorry.” Chenle was the first to break, wrapping his arms protectively around his waist as he dropped his gaze to the untouched tray of food in front of him. “I should never have said anything in the first place.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jisung followed Chenle’s lead almost immediately, looking away from Jaemin and leaning into his friend’s side in a comforting gesture that Donghyuck would wager he wasn't consciously aware of. As he shifted, Jaemin let out a long gust of trapped air, like he’d suddenly been released from a spell holding him in suspended animation, and dropped both hands heavily into his lap.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>If one of said hands found its way back to Renjun’s thigh just a few short seconds later, Donghyuck certainly wasn't going to bring it up, but he did take note when Renjun turned his gaze resolutely onto Chenle instead. He looked more confused than worried now, which was a small comfort, but the conversation was far from over.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why are you sorry?” Renjun asked, turning in his seat so that his whole body was angled towards the middle of the table. In doing so, he shifted back along the bench towards Jaemin a little, who visibly relaxed with each inch of increased proximity. “You didn’t start those rumours.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No,” Chenle conceded shyly, still not looking up from his food, “but it was my idea to ask if it was about Jaemin-hyung and Jeno-hyung. Sungie told me that it was a bad idea, and that it might make you all uncomfortable, but I did it anyway.” He blinked away what looked to be a tear, and Renjun’s expression softened in an instant.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s okay, Chenle-yah. We’re not ashamed of our relationship.” He glanced over at Jaemin, who quickly nodded in agreement. “You just surprised us, that’s all. Not everyone would be as supportive as you two are.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So I was right?” Jisung peered up at Renjun, who looked taken aback by the sudden eagerness in the usually passive teenager’s voice.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Right about what?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That the three of you are…” He paused, scrunching his nose adorably as he looked from Renjun to Jaemin and then back. “...you know.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jaemin smirked then and, to Donghyuck, it was like the sun rising after a particularly dark winter’s night. His lips curled up at the corners and continued to spread rapidly, until a surprised bark of laughter burst from him. “Jisung, what are you? Five?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hyung!” Jisung scowled half-heartedly at the older boy, who couldn't quite school his face quickly enough to hide his glee. Jaemin just shrugged dismissively, still smirking, and Jisung huffed. “I’m not that much younger than you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’re young enough,” Jaemin retorted. “Especially when you say things like that. Somehow, you were bold enough to call me out like that in front of Hyuck and Junie and yet, now, three minutes later, you can’t even say the word relationship.” He grinned impishly at the freshman again, and then nudged Renjun’s shoulder with his own. “You were right though, Jisung-ah. We’d really appreciate it if you didn't go and spread it around the whole 10th grade, but you were right.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Really?” Jisung’s eyes went wide, and his voice cracked as he spoke the word. “So, uh, how exactly does that work between the three of you?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>This time it was Renjun’s turn to laugh, a strangled, gasping noise that ripped itself from his chest as he tried a beat too late to slap a silencing hand over his mouth. A few people at nearby tables looked up from their food, peering curiously over at him for a moment, and Renjun flushed in embarrassment. He slumped down onto his forearms on the tabletop as Jaemin patted his back gently, a mortified look on his face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What did I say?” Jisung asked, frowning at the boy rapidly turning purple across the table from him. Renjun shook his head mutely, holding up a finger in the universal request for patience, and then reached for the bottle of water nestled next to his tray. Not getting the answer he was looking for, Jisung turned his attention to Donghyuck next. “Hyung, what did I—?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m not going there today, Jisung-ah,” Donghyuck told him firmly. “Today or any other day, for that matter. Maybe when you’re older. Much, <em> much </em> older.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em> Hyung! </em>” Jisung flushed a similar shade to Renjun, who was now chugging water like his life depended on it, and shook his head vehemently. “That’s not what I meant. I just wanted to know if it’s harder to communicate with three people involved. I know I’ve never... I mean, I don’t know what it’s like to be in a relationship with anyone, but it always looks complicated enough with just two people.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It is definitely harder,” Jaemin agreed, rubbing small, gentle circles into Renjun’s back as the boy tried to regain his composure. “But it’s worth it. If I’m honest, I didn't know how it was going to work at first either.” Renjun nodded, some of the pinkness slowly receding from his cheeks under Jaemin’s careful ministrations. “It’s not something I ever knew I wanted—or needed—but we’re doing our best to make it work.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Wow.” Jisung’s brain seemed to promptly run out of steam at that point, but the awestruck expression on his face was enough to convey the rest of what he was feeling. His eyes were still blown wide, and his body was pressed so tightly up against Chenle’s side that it would have been tough to prise them apart, but it was like a weight had been lifted from the boy’s shoulders that Donghyuck hadn't even realised was there.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“How long have you known?” Renjun’s voice was a little rough, and he was still breathing heavily, but he seemed to have mostly recovered from the shock of Jisung’s unexpectedly probing question. “You said you suspected for a while. How long?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“A few weeks before vacation started,” Chenle offered hesitantly, when Jisung glanced over at him for support. “I saw Jeno-hyung and Jaemin-hyung in the third-floor corridor after school one day, on my way to my locker. There was no-one else there, and I don’t think either of you saw me, but it was the first time I’d ever seen you two hold hands like that.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I remember that day,” Jaemin said thoughtfully, talking more to Renjun than to anyone else. “I was waiting for you to finish the meeting with Mrs Jeong after your test, Injun-ah. Then Jeno joined me after his practice ended early.” He paused, eyes darting across to Chenle. “Hang on, you saw that?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I—I didn't mean to.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jaemin shook his head. “That’s not what I meant, LeLe. I’m just surprised, that’s all. We thought we were being so covert about it all, but you knew this whole time.” He leant across the table and ruffled Chenle’s hair affectionately. “I’m not mad. I’m impressed.” He smiled sweetly, and Chenle returned it eagerly. “Super spy, Zhong Chenle, everybody.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I had help,” Chenle said quickly, tilting his head in Jisung’s direction. “I wouldn't have figured out the rest of it, if it wasn't for Jisungie. He was the one who followed you after school and saw you two with Renjun-hyung.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>One of Jaemin’s brows shot up towards his hairline. “He did what now?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I can explain!” Jisung blurted, paling as four pairs of eyes landed squarely on him again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Donghyuck tried not to smirk at the sudden, renewed panic in the younger boy’s eyes, because he knew that Jaemin wasn't upset. Jisung might not have been able to see it, but the expression on Jaemin’s face was one of mischief, and barely restrained chaos. He was going to have some innocent fun at Jisung’s expense, and Donghyuck wasn't about to do anything to get in his way.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m waiting,” Jaemin told the freshman softly, his tone low and indecipherable. Jisung gulped, blinking rapidly, and reached out blindly to snag Chenle’s hand under the table between them. “What do you mean, you followed me?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I wasn't intentionally following you, hyung.” Jisung started to explain. “At least, not at first. I was meeting LeLe and his mom in town after school one day, so we could go and see a movie together. I was waiting outside the theatre, across from the bus stop, and then I saw you getting off the bus with Jeno-hyung. I tried to hide, in case either of you saw me, but you just started walking together.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So you followed them?” Renjun asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah.” Jisung hesitated, examining Jaemin’s face for signs that he should start planning his funeral, but the older boy’s expression was unreadable. Donghyuck could see in the rigid set of his shoulders just how hard Jaemin was having to work to maintain the serious facade, but he was miraculously holding it together for the time being. “I was curious, so I started to follow you. It was only for a few minutes though. You both went into a cafe just down the street, and then Renjun-hyung turned up a few minutes later. I <em> swear </em> it wasn't as creepy as it sounds, but you were…”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jisung trailed off, confusion bleeding into his expression as Jaemin’s carefully crafted indifference cracked a little and then promptly shattered into a million tiny pieces. Between one heartbeat and the next, he went from implacable stoicism to fits of uncontrollable giggles, burying his face into Renjun’s shoulder as his body shook with laughter.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’re not mad?” Poor Jisung must have sounded sufficiently wounded, because Jaemin managed to sober just enough to look up at him. Shaking his head, he reached out to pat Jisung’s hand reassuringly, where it clenched and flexed nervously around the lip of the tray in front of him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Not even a little bit,” Jaemin admitted. Jisung glanced over at Renjun, who shook his head in agreement. He then glanced over at Donghyuck, who shrugged in a way he hoped conveyed that he was not willing to get involved in Jaemin’s games. “I’m actually impressed, Jisung-ah. Not many people could have put that together so quickly. I think that was only about a week after we started dating. It took the three of us far longer than that to figure out our feelings in the first place.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You can say that again,” Renjun muttered. Jaemin opened his mouth to speak, a mischievous grin baring his teeth, and Renjun smacked him hard in the arm. “Not literally, idiot.” Jaemin pouted and Renjun rolled his eyes at his boyfriend, before turning his attention back to the rest of the group. “It’s still new for all three of us, but I’m glad we don’t have to hide it from you two anymore.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You can trust us with your secret, hyung,” Chenle insisted. Jisung echoed his words without hesitation, and Donghyuck couldn't help the swell of affection that flared to life in his chest as he watched the two youngest members of his family react so overwhelmingly positively to the situation. Polyamory was still very much taboo in most countries around the world—and that was the same in both realities, as far as Donghyuck knew—let alone the particularly conservative country they called home.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Do you think you might decide to tell people eventually?” Jisung asked a few minutes later, leaning forward onto his elbow. “I know it’s not that common here, but it’s just love in a different way, right? There’s nothing<em> wrong </em> with it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Never change, Jisungie.” Jaemin fixed him with such a fond look that Jisung wilted a little under its intensity, but the blossoming pride in the older boy’s eyes was one of the most endearing things Donghyuck thought he’d ever seen. “You’re right again, of course,” Jaemin continued, “but not everyone sees things like you do. Things are changing a lot right now in this country, but we’re still a very long way away from polyamory being widely accepted or tolerated.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What about homosexuality?” Donghyuck didn't realise he’d spoken until the words were out into the open, and he met Renjun’s surprised gaze before he fully processed how strange his words might be to those of their group who didn't yet know that he wasn’t from around here. “I mean, if things are changing—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Yeah,” Chenle interjected, to Donghyuck’s supreme relief. Chenle didn't seem to notice anything out of the ordinary, although Jisung shot him a quick, furtive glance that held more questions than either of them was prepared to deal with on this particular Monday afternoon. “What did you mean by that?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Did you notice any of your classmates saying anything discriminatory about those rumours you mentioned, Chenle?” Jaemin asked, in lieu of a response. Both freshmen thought hard about his question for a moment, before Chenle shook his head. “Exactly.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I don’t understand.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“On the whole, most people our age in Korea are pretty accepting of same-sex relationships now,” Jaemin explained. “Not all of them, and not all of the time, but it’s definitely a lot better than it was for people in our parents’ generation. Most of the older generations are still really stuck in their ways, and they’re often completely blinded to new ways of thinking because of how they grew up.” He sighed. “I know my mom is like that.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mine too,” Renjun said sadly. “She’s not as bad as yours, but she just doesn't understand.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m sorry.” Chenle frowned at the pair opposite him, but Jaemin shook his head with a small smile.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s okay. It’s better than it used to be, and hopefully, we can continue to change things for the better.” He glanced over at Renjun, and the older boy’s hand disappeared beneath the table to join Jaemin’s in his lap. Jaemin shifted even closer to him, their arms pressed together in solidarity and unspoken support, and continued to speak. “That tolerance probably doesn’t quite extend to the three of us yet, but I’m hopeful that, one day, it might.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I hope so too,” Donghyuck said softly, meeting Renjun’s eye again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Renjun didn't say anything in response, but the question in his eyes was unmistakable. He wanted to know if it was the same where Donghyuck was from. Was there that same hope that things might eventually be different? Were people in his Korea starting to consider tolerance over hate? Donghyuck shook his head, a sombre smile still pasted on his lips, and Renjun’s face fell. He couldn't lie to Renjun about this, he knew that, but it didn't stop Donghyuck being glad that, here at least, things could be better.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What can we do?” Jisung asked abruptly, unaware of the profound exchange happening right next to him. His gaze slowly swept each of them in turn, as though he might be able to read the answer on one of their faces, but it was Jaemin who answered.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What do you mean?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well, you said you wanted to keep things a secret about you three,” Jisung explained, “and I understand that, but you’re not—you’re not the only gay students at this school.” He hesitated, appearing to choose his next words carefully, but then a spark of determination lit up his gaze. “I’m not sure what I feel about a lot of things yet, but I definitely know that I don’t want to be forced to hide who I am because of what other people think.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Me too,” Chenle said with a small nod. He let his cheek drop onto Jisung’s shoulder, and the younger boy relaxed into his touch. Donghyuck’s heart leapt in his chest at the sight, and he wanted to reach over and wrap the pair of them into a tight embrace, to protect them from the world for as long as he was able, but he held back for fear of interrupting whatever was happening inside Jisung’s head.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Exactly.” Jisung pressed his nose into Chenle’s hair for a moment, eyelids fluttering closed, before he resumed staring at Jaemin. “I want to be as supportive as I can be, so other people can feel more comfortable to be themselves. How best can I—can we—do that?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I, uh—” Jaemin’s mouth opened and closed a few times, his Adam’s apple working overtime despite the lack of words emerging. Jisung just blinked at him, refusing to release him from the question, so Donghyuck decided to step in and help them both out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’ve already done the hard part,” he told the younger boy kindly. Jisung turned a little pink at the praise, and an embarrassed smile spread across his lips, but he didn't try to argue. “The important part is that you’re willing to support your friends. Unfortunately, there will always be plenty of people who want to spread negativity instead. And, despite what Jaemin said about things changing, some of them may even end up being here at school.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What if they’re being hateful?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Combat that hatred with positivity, Jisung-ah. Stick up for people who can’t stick up for themselves,” Donghyuck told him firmly. He placed a hand on Jisung’s shoulder, pleasantly surprised when the boy didn't immediately shrug it off. “Be the better person, but don’t be afraid to call people out for discrimination when you see it. Exactly the same way you would call someone out for any other kind of bullying.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>For a few long moments, Jisung didn't say anything. He seemed to be deep in thought, processing Donghyuck’s words. The older boy could practically see the cogs turning in Jisung’s brain, as he embedded them into place in his fundamental ideology, and he hoped that they would stick. He was already immeasurably proud of this Jisung—and this Chenle, for that matter—but, if he could leave them with one thing to remember him by after he returned home, he knew he could do far, far worse than this.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I will, hyung,” Jisung said finally, voice laced with an uncompromising determination that threatened to take Donghyuck breath away. “I promise.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>--</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The rest of the day passed without much fanfare. Donghyuck, Jaemin and Chenle attended a full cast rehearsal after school, led by an increasingly distracted Dejun. Half the cast struggled to concentrate much past Act 1, the other half still hadn’t learnt their lines to Dejun’s exacting standards, and the preoccupied senior himself spent the majority of the rehearsal texting furiously on his mobile phone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Eventually, with nearly an hour still left to go, Donghyuck finally persuaded him to send the rest of the cast home. Although initially reluctant, Dejun eventually looked up from his phone just long enough to see the dejected looks on the faces of the students gathered around the stage, and then dismissed them for the evening. Donghyuck tried to ask what was going on, to talk to Dejun as they packed away, but the older boy seemed reticent to so much as look at him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Donghyuck walked with Jaemin and Chenle out to his car, the trio trailing behind Dejun as they moved leisurely through the halls. At the main doors, he was promptly joined by Hendery, who somehow looked in even worse shape than he did, and they left together without so much as a backwards glance at any of their other friends. Something niggled irritatingly at the back of Donghyuck’s mind, something that he knew he ought to remember but couldn't, and then it was quickly abandoned on the drive home, replaced by thoughts of dinner and homework.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>--</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The next morning, it all became immediately clear from the second he set foot in homeroom. For one, there were already twice as many students in the room than was normal for this time in the morning. For another thing, the same two names were suddenly on everyone’s lips, echoed in every single conversation he passed on his way to where Jaemin and Renjun sat huddled together on top of Renjun’s desk.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Xiao Dejun. Wong Kunhang. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Rumours. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Together. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Dating. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I guess we now know what Chenle and Jisung were talking about at lunch yesterday,” he muttered by way of introduction, sliding bodily into the chair that had been tucked under the desk next to Renjun’s left knee. He propped his chin up on the older boy’s knee, peering up through his lashes at his friends. Jaemin smiled at him in greeting, but Renjun’s brows were furrowed and his lips were pulled down into a distracted frown.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Evidently,” the older boy agreed, staring out grimly at the sea of faces around them. Renjun’s feet were tangled up in the metal frame of the desk beneath him, like it was a ladder he’d climbed to escape the ocean of students all circling for blood—or gossip, although Donghyuck wasn't sure which would actually be worse—and he had a vice-like grip on Jaemin’s arm.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Have you seen either of them yet today?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No.” Jaemin shook his head. “I usually see Kunhang-hyung on my way in, because he goes to the dance studio with Soonyoung-hyung and the other senior dancers before class most days, but I didn’t see him this morning.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Fill me in on exactly what’s going on?” Donghyuck asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He suspected he could guess, and he also suspected that the ominous group chat he’d discovered on his phone yesterday would tell him more than enough, if he were to check it, but he preferred to hear it from his friends. Dejun and Hendery were his friends too, after all, even if he didn't know either of them all that well yet in this reality. He did know, however, that they deserved far better than the mindless gossip of countless bored high schoolers.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It spread all over social media late last night, apparently,” Renjun offered. “Jeno saw someone talking about it in the soccer team group chat first thing this morning, and it seems like the whole school knows about it by now.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s barely eight in the morning,” Donghyuck said in disbelief. “Gossip really travels that fast?” He didn't think even news of a major idol scandal would travel that quickly through the industry. Gay couple or not, he thought that the news of two unassuming high school seniors dating one another would have taken at least a few days to spread to the entire school population.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I forget sometimes that you’re not actually a teenager, Hyuck,” Renjun mused, flashing him a smile that actually reached his eyes for the first time that morning. “Everything is major news in high school, and this is going to be the biggest news of the semester. Besides Mark arriving, of course. I’m not actually sure which will win out for gossip of the year, between those two.” He frowned again. “It’s all ridiculous.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“How are people taking it?” Donghyuck knew that both of his friends would read into his question exactly what he really wanted to ask. Were people gossiping for the sake of excitement, or were they judging Dejun and Kunhang for their romantic orientation? “Do I even want to ask?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Surprisingly well,” Jaemin told him, eyes darting from one group of students to the next before coming to rest on Donghyuck’s face. “I heard one girl in the parking lot this morning telling her friend how cute she thought they were as a couple. I think people are just talking because it’s new. I haven’t heard anything negative yet.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Neither have I,” Renjun agreed. The edge of hope in his voice was impossible to ignore, but Donghyuck knew that his thoughts would likely also be laced with sadness. For all the acceptance there seemed to be for the newest power couple on campus—or whatever Dejun and Kunhang turned out to be—Renjun would still be forced to hide the people he cared about the most under the guise of mere friendship. It had to sting.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The teacher arrived at that moment, curtailing the majority of the conversations around them instantly, but Donghyuck could still hear smatterings of whispered interactions as they invariably threaded through the next few hours of his day. The teachers were, for the most part, effective at directing the attention of his classmates onto algebra and world history, but he couldn't ignore the names that were constantly uttered under people’s breath when they thought the adults weren’t paying attention.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He just hoped that, wherever Dejun and Kunhang were this morning, they were okay.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>--</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Donghyuck actually ran into Dejun completely by chance, halfway through his third class of the day. On his way to the bathroom, of all places, he turned a corner and smacked face-first into the older boy’s chest. Rocked back on his feet, reminded all over again that he was back to being a head shorter than most of his older brothers at this stage in his physical development, he flailed for a moment until a steadying hand reached out to grip his elbow.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Are you okay?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As he blinked away a grey spot that had appeared in his field of vision, a familiar face slowly materialised in front of Donghyuck. Dejun looked mildly concerned, peering down at him like he could examine him for internal injuries by sheer force of will, but that was largely overshadowed by the dark circles of a sleepless night etched beneath both of the senior’s eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m fine,” Donghyuck assured him, stepping back to give the older boy a little breathing space. Dejun allowed his arm to fall limply to his side, no longer required to steady his personal battering ram, and then shoved his hand deep into the pocket of his blazer. His eyes looked haunted, like he’d seen a dozen ghosts in quick succession, and Donghyuck wanted nothing more than to shield him from everyone else in the universe in that moment. “Are you?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m fin—” Halfway through his rehearsed answer, Dejun seemed to register the genuine concern in the younger boy’s eyes, because he paused and then began again. “You know, I’ve been better.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Donghyuck didn't know what to say. He wanted to apologise for what Dejun must be experiencing, but that wasn't on him. He wanted to tell him it would be okay, but he couldn't promise that either. Eventually, he settled on honesty. “I can’t imagine how you must be feeling right now, but I’m here if you… well, if you need me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thanks, Hyuck-ah.” Dejun offered him a small smile. It wasn't much, but it looked to be earnest. A tiny spark of something previously masked flared in his eyes, and Donghyuck returned his gesture with a soft smile of his own. “I really appreciate that.” He glanced up and over Donghyuck’s shoulder, staring down the corridor behind him for a few seconds, and then sighed. “I should get going.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Do you need to get back to class?” Donghyuck temporarily ignored the pressure in his bladder, reminding him of the reason for his own mid-class excursion, and focused on Dejun’s abruptly crest-fallen expression.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah.” The older boy sighed again. “There’s only so many hall passes one person can claim in a single day without the teachers thinking you have a bladder infection.” He chuckled, although there was little humour to the sound. “If I can just make it through the rest of this hour, and then through lunch, and then through…” He paled, evidently imagining the rest of his day stretching out before him, and squeezed his eyes shut.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey, hyung?” Donghyuck felt instinct taking over, and knew immediately that this was the right decision to be made. He wasn't sure why, but he was certain that he could help Dejun to survive the day, if he played his cards right. “Do you have time during lunch to meet with me? I had some ideas that I wanted to discuss for the musical. You might be busy, but—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m not!” The response was immediate, and Donghyuck saw the exact moment that the implications of his plan registered in Dejun’s mind. “Could you maybe meet me in the drama studio after class? We can, you know…”</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em> Hide out in the one place in the school where Dejun felt the safest. </em> That much didn't need to be spoken aloud. Donghyuck was acutely aware of the attachment the senior felt towards the peaceful practice space at the end of the Performing Arts corridor, and he also knew that it would be the perfect place to try to help Dejun get his mind off the events of the day so far.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sounds perfect, hyung,” Donghyuck agreed, flashing Dejun an encouraging smile. Dejun brightened a little more with each word, so Donghyuck was cautiously optimistic that his plan might work. “I’ll be there.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Great.” Dejun made to leave, stepping around Donghyuck to head in the direction the younger boy had just come from, and then paused. Turning back, he met Donghyuck’s eye. “Is it okay if Hen—uh, if Kunhang hangs out in the studio with us during lunch? I just really don’t want to leave him to fend for himself today. I’ll understand if you’re not—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hendery is absolutely welcome.” Dejun’s brows rose in surprise, and Donghyuck grinned at him. Throwing caution to the wind, he patted Dejun’s arm and winked. “He’s pretty awesome. You’re lucky to have someone like him. Although, do you ever think you might be punching above your weight, hyung?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dejun took a few seconds to react, mouth hanging open in shock as Donghyuck made a beeline down the corridor in the direction of the nearest bathroom, evil grin fixed in place. Still, the younger boy couldn't mistake the high, easy laugh that belatedly burst forth from Dejun, just as he pushed the bathroom door open and stepped inside. It was light and mercifully unaffected, if a little brief. It was like music to his ears.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>If nothing else went his way today, Donghyuck hoped they’d both remember that sound.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>--</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Distracted by his thoughts and already late for his lunchtime “meeting” with Dejun—thanks to the teacher taking an eternity to answer his very simple question about their homework—Donghyuck almost didn't spot Mark at first.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>In fact, he’d completely walked past the older boy before he realised that anything was out of the ordinary. So focused was he on getting to the drama studio, he barely even registered the sizable crowd that had gathered outside the classroom. If it hadn’t been for the fact that he was forced to wade through twice as many students as usual, many of whom had simply stopped dead in the middle of the hallway to turn and stare, he might not have even given it a second thought.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark was leaning against the wall outside the room Donghyuck had just exited. His foot was propped up on the kickboard like he didn't have a care in the world, his shoulder flush with the notice board to his left as he did his best to blend into the paintwork. He was fighting a losing battle, if the giggling girls and gossiping freshmen around him were anything to go by, but none of that explained what he was doing there in the first place.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Donghyuck-ah!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hi, hyung.” Ignoring the confused murmurs of the crowd around him, Donghyuck quickly made his way back over to where Mark stood. “I didn't know you had a class up here this morning.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, I don’t,” Mark said sheepishly, brushing an invisible strand of hair out of his face. Donghyuck couldn't help but roll his eyes as one of the students nearest to them, a girl he recognised from his English class, fanned herself dramatically with her hand at Mark’s actions, but he managed to maintain some semblance of a poker face. “My last class was downstairs. I was just waiting for Jeno.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Donghyuck paused, a frown etching itself onto his face as he eyed Mark suspiciously. Mark’s hands fidgeted restlessly at his sides, which was as good a tell as any that he was lying through his teeth, but Donghyuck couldn’t even begin to guess at why. “Jeno left five minutes ago. You probably passed him on the stairs on your way up.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh.” To his credit, Mark almost managed to make the shock on his face believable, but then it was quickly eclipsed by a warm, broad smile that crinkled his eyes at the corners. “Maybe I can walk with you to lunch instead.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I actually have a meeting,” Donghyuck told him apologetically. Mark’s face started to fall, the brightness in his eyes dimming just a little, and the younger boy scrambled to salvage the situation. “You can walk with me as far as the drama studio though, if you’d like.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sure.” That winning smile returned full force, and Mark pushed himself up and off the wall. He moved until they were side by side, separated only by the books packed neatly into the bag Mark had slung over one hip, and then dropped an arm across Donghyuck’s shoulders. “Lead the way.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They got a lot of second—and third—glances as they made their way down the stairs and into the main part of the school. Mark’s arm didn't shift from its position hooked loosely around his neck, even when the crowds of students became too tightly packed and he had to shift closer. Donghyuck tried to ignore the way his face reddened, whenever Mark’s hip pressed closer into his as they navigated a particularly narrow bottleneck, and he didn't even want to imagine what he must look like to the people around them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark chattered happily away about this and that as they walked, making observations about different display boards and classrooms as they passed. Donghyuck tried to focus in on what he was saying, but kept getting distracted by the stony looks he received from boys and girls alike on their route. One girl was even bold enough to try to step in their way to attract Mark’s attention, a garish pink envelope clutched in her shaking fingers, but the older boy didn't so much as glance at her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Are you okay?” Mark asked, after they were clear of the majority of the tumult. He stopped walking, shifting so that he could look Donghyuck in the eye, fingers absently playing with the sleeve of the younger boy’s blazer. “You seem a bit distracted today.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m fine,” Donghyuck said quickly. “I’ve just got a lot on my mind.” He wasn't exactly sure whether he was referring to the situation with Dejun and Hendery, or to the fact that the prolonged proximity to Mark was making his brain short-circuit and threaten to melt into goo inside his skull. Either way, Mark didn't ask. He just nodded as though he understood, and then carried on walking.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Do you want me to wait for you to finish your meeting?” Mark asked a few moments later, as they rounded the corner into the Performing Arts hallway. Donghyuck must have made a noise of confusion, because he quickly explained himself. “You didn't mention how long it would take. If it’s short, we could get lunch together afterwards. Or I could bring lunch to you, if you don’t have time to eat...”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mark?” At the sound of Donghyuck’s voice, Mark abruptly shut up like he’d just sealed his mouth up with extra strength tape. He blinked down mutely at Donghyuck, who turned to face him and unsuccessfully tried to decipher the look on his face. If this had been another Mark, from another place and time, Donghyuck would have said he could read him like an open book, but it was like he was having to learn some parts of Mark all over again. “Why were you waiting outside my classroom upstairs?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I told you—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You were waiting for Jeno,” Donghyuck finished for him. “Yeah, I know. You told me that, but that’s not the truth, is it?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I don’t—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mark Lee.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Suh!” Donghyuck realised his mistake the same time Mark did, because he felt his face start to morph into a grimace as he watched Mark’s simultaneously slacken in surprise. “I meant Mark Suh.” He chuckled awkwardly. “Sorry. Force of habit.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I don’t mind,” Mark told him. “It’s like you’re seeing this cool hidden side to me that no one else sees, one that hardly anyone but me even remembers anymore. It was confusing at first, but now I kind of like it. I haven’t been Mark Lee in a very long time.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m glad,” Donghyuck said. “Still, I need to practice using your actual name. I can’t afford to keep making so many mistakes.” <em> Especially around you</em>, he thought, as Mark beamed at him and shrugged clumsily, in a way that made him look like each of his long limbs was being operated independently from the others. The goofy side of his best friend emerging reminded him, however, that Mark still hadn't answered his earlier question. “So…?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay, fine.” Mark huffed, like he was being forced to reveal his deepest, darkest secret under duress, but his grin didn't fade. “You caught me. I guess I kind of wanted to hang out with you at lunch today. I didn't see you at all yesterday, and you and Jeno are the only people here that I know so far.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We barely know each other yet,” Donghyuck pointed out helpfully. “Not really.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And yet, you know me better than just about anyone.” Donghyuck wasn't about to argue that one, so he just stayed quiet. Mark must have taken his silence as tacit agreement, because he nodded to himself and continued. “I feel comfortable around you. This is all so alien to me, with the new school and the new country and everything. Plus, I haven’t figured out how to actually make friends in my classes yet—besides Yukhei, and that’s only because Jeno forced him on me first thing Monday morning, and demanded that we be friends.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I find it hard to believe that you haven’t been inundated with friend requests,” Donghyuck said with a smirk. “You’re all anyone was talking about yesterday. I’m sure you’ve had people throwing themselves at you left and right, ever since you set foot in the building.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark shuddered slightly, scuffing the shiny floor with the tip of one of his shoes. “Don’t even get me started. If one more girl calls me <em> oppa</em>, I might have to escape through the nearest open window.” Donghyuck snorted, unable to stop himself, and Mark’s lips spread as he fought to keep the giggle out of his voice. “Living in the US, I actually managed to forget for a while just how much I hate that word.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I can call you oppa if you want, <em> oppa </em>.” The glare Mark levelled in Donghyuck’s direction was so murderous, even as he tried to keep from laughing, that Donghyuck held his hands up in defeat. “Okay, not that. Not even as a joke. Got it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Anything but that,” Mark agreed. Then he glanced between Donghyuck and the door behind him, which had a familiar sign hanging above it. “By the way, didn't you say you had a meeting?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh shit!” Donghyuck glanced across at the clock mounted above the display board on the opposite wall. “I’m so late. It wouldn't matter usually, but it was my idea and Dejun was nice enough to agree to meet with me—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Dejun?” Mark frowned, his brows knitting together above the bridge of his nose. “Xiao Dejun?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“He’s one of the seniors everyone is talking about today, right?” Mark sounded unsure, but it wasn't much of a surprise that he’d heard about it. Even if he didn't actually <em>talk </em>to any of his classmates, the students around him weren't likely to be any more subtle with their gossip than those in Donghyuck’s year group. “That’s got to be rough. Are you two friends?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Kind of.” Donghyuck wasn't exactly sure how to explain his relationship with Dejun, but he figured Mark might be able to understand better than most. “He’s on the list I told you about, from my reality, which makes him as much a part of this whole mess as you or I. He joined my—our family a little bit later, so I don’t know him as well as I’d like yet, but I know that I care about him a lot. Him and Kunhang-ssi.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I should leave you to talk to him then.” Mark hesitated, eyeing the door to the studio a little apprehensively. “It’s hard enough to be in high school at our age, without being forcibly outed as…” He trailed off.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Gay?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Do you, uh, have a problem with, you know, someone being…?” Donghyuck really didn't want to finish that sentence, didn't think he could cope with the answer not being the one he was hoping for, but he had to <em> know</em>. Everything with Mark was so complicated right now—not least because he was simultaneously both the same person and not the same person Donghyuck was head over heels in love with, his personality currently housed in the body of a high school student several years younger than Donghyuck was himself—but this was not something he could compromise on. Not ever.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Of course not!” The response was so quick that Donghyuck half expected it to give him whiplash. Mark looked a little disappointed that he’d had to ask, but didn't stop to question him further. “I, uh—I don't really talk about my sexuality much, I guess, but it probably doesn't matter with you. Where you’re from, we’re best friends, and best friends tell each other everything, right? You’re probably bored of hearing it at this point, after listening to me wax on about it a few hundred times.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark laughed casually, like his words hadn't just punched a gaping hole deep into Donghyuck’s chest cavity. He watched as Donghyuck nodded mutely, not seeming to notice the sudden fear in the younger boy’s eyes, and then ploughed on with what seemed to be a well-practised speech.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I just don’t think love should be restricted to the neat little boxes that society has laid out for us, you know? If I like someone, what does it matter whether they have the same genitals as me or not? If I like them and they like me, that’s all that matters. The kind of person they are inside, that’s what’s important.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Again, Donghyuck barely managed to nod in agreement, a flood of emotions washing over him faster than he could even begin to process them. He wanted to stop Mark, to tell him the truth—that he and his-Mark had never had this conversation before—but he also didn't want to hurt Mark by implying that he’d been lying about their friendship. He couldn't let him down like that.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark Lee was his best friend, the one person he could go to about anything and everything. That was the fundamental truth. He’d been there for most of Donghyuck’s defining moments as a teenager, and then later as a young adult starting to navigate his way through the world independently. He’d been there for Mark in much the same way. They shared everything.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Everything except this.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Everything except how, for Donghyuck, Mark was that person he spoke of so eruditely. That person who he’d gladly break out of his societal box for. That person he’d probably love for the rest of his life. His soulmate, if such a thing were to be real.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He’d wanted to hear Mark say something like this for years, far too many years to count. He’d long dreamed of the day that Mark would confirm that he had hope, had a chance to win his best friend’s heart. So why, now that it was finally happening right in front of him, did it suddenly feel hollow? Why did it feel like he was cheating both of them? Why did it feel like he was bearing witness to a confession that he hadn't earned?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I guess, if society had to put a label on it, people would call me bisexual,” Mark continued, blissfully ignorant of the battle taking place inside Donghyuck’s head. He shrugged, an easy smile tugging at his lips, and nudged Donghyuck’s arm with his elbow. “Pansexual, even. But I think that’s unnecessary. It’s nobody else’s business but mine. Mine and the people I choose to share it with.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Donghyuck must have taken too long to answer for Mark’s liking, because the older boy was suddenly all up in his face, bending over a little to watch him carefully. “Did I say something wrong?” He looked worried now, a devastating shift from the sunny boy who had been talking animatedly about his feelings just seconds earlier. It broke something deep inside Donghyuck to see, and so he shook his head without a second thought.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No. Not at all.” He forced himself to smile, to convince Mark of his words. “I was just thinking. You really are something special, Mark-hyung. Whoever ends up being your person is going to be so blessed.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“My person—” Mark stepped back and his gaze darkened for a second, something akin to grief ghosting across his face for a moment as he stared at the younger boy. Then he blinked it away, and his smile returned. “Yeah. Uh...” He glanced at the door to the dance studio again, this time very deliberately, and then cleared his throat. “You shouldn’t keep your friend waiting. I’m meant to be meeting Jeno for lunch in the cafeteria and I’m late now too, so I should go. If you want, I can let your friends know where you are.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh.” Mark was already backing away down the corridor as Donghyuck spoke. There was something uneasy in his expression, and in the way that he wouldn’t quite look Donghyuck directly in the eye as he moved, but he was right about both of them being late for their respective lunch plans. “Sure. Thanks.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I—I’ll see you later, Donghyuck-ah.” Mark started to move quicker now, turning to all but flee down the corridor. Before Donghyuck could so much as raise a hand to wave goodbye, he disappeared around the corner, leaving the younger boy standing alone in the abandoned hallway.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Confused, Donghyuck tried to figure out what had just happened to make Mark react like that, but nothing immediately came to mind. It was like the older boy had suddenly flipped a switch, shutting down their conversation in a heartbeat. Donghyuck guessed that he’d probably just have to ask him, the next time he could get Mark on his own for a few minutes, but, for the time being, he needed to put it out of his mind.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Right now, he had far more important things to deal with than Mark’s bizarre mood swing. He wasn't the only person in Donghyuck’s life who seemed like they were in desperate need of a friend and, today of all days, he reckoned someone else needed him a lot more than Mark Suh.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>It's been months and I realise too late every chapter that I've never officially announced the companion fic, Distant Voices in the Darkness. I get questions about it regularly, even if most people seem to have found it on their own by now. If you haven't, feel free to check it out <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25166950/chapters/60986089">here</a>. It won't be updated again until this fic is done, but it's there if you're wondering what happened to this reality's Donghyuck when ours ended up here.</p>
<p>As always, have a wonderful day! &lt;3</p>
<p>Temporary Update (21/11/20): Just a heads up, since I've had this question quite a couple of times in the last few weeks on Twitter. I'm alive and well, but I'm really busy prepping for my exam right now. I'm hoping to get chapter 52 out somewhere around the 10th December, after it's all over, so please bear with me. &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0052"><h2>52. Chapter 52</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The universe really tried to stop this from making it you this week (to the people I promised a Sunday/Monday update to, I'm sorry!), but it's finally here. A huge thank you to all of you for being so patient, to the people who've kindly checked up on me on Twitter over the past month, and to the people who (for reasons that I cannot fathom) decided to re-read the entire fic while they waited for me to deal with real-life for a while. If you're still here, you're wonderful and I appreciate you so much! &lt;3</p><p>This scene was never meant to be its own chapter but, as often happens in my brain, the characters got carried away. One thing led to another, Xiaojun had things he wanted to say, and now we're here. Hopefully, you enjoy...</p><p>P.S. It's been a while, so it's almost inevitable that I'll make some kind of continuity error at some point in the next few chapters. I'm convinced some of you know this story better than I do at this point, so please let me know if you spot anything.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Hyung?”</p><p> </p><p>As he poked his head cautiously around the door, peering into the darkened drama studio, Donghyuck wondered if Dejun had changed his mind. He didn't think it was likely that he’d forgotten—not in the few short hours since they’d last spoken—but he wouldn't blame the senior if he’d decided not to spend his fleeting hour of peace and quiet in Donghyuck’s company.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyung, are you in here?” He was already turning to leave, wondering if he might be able to catch up with Mark if he took a few tactical shortcuts on the way to the cafeteria, when the soft click of a door opening somewhere beyond the silence gave him pause.</p><p> </p><p>“In the back, Hyuck-ah.”</p><p> </p><p>Turning to face the inside of the studio again, Donghyuck realised that, where there had previously been nothing but blackness, there was now a tiny sliver of light spilling out from a crack in the wall to one side of the small rehearsal stage. It looked to be coming from a room that he’d always assumed was a storage cupboard, but there now appeared to be soft music emanating from that vicinity, so he figured that was where the disembodied voice had come from.</p><p> </p><p>Crossing the studio quickly, he soon found himself peering into yet another room, this one far smaller and lit from above by a single filament bulb, hanging from a thin cord overhead. There wasn't much in the way of furniture within, save for a small desk and a few chairs dotted about, but that wasn't what caught Donghyuck’s eye. What did was Dejun, folded almost in half as he sat slumped in a chair against the far wall, and Hendery, curled in on himself on the hardwood floor at Dejun’s feet.</p><p> </p><p>“Hi, Dejun-hyung. Kunghang-ssi.” Offering an overly enthusiastic greeting seemed a little gauche, considering the obvious tension coating every surface in the room—a room that Donghyuck strongly suspected was the Drama Society office, now that he’d seen it, but hadn’t known about before today—so he offered the pair a small bob of the head instead, as he discarded his bag by the door. “Sorry I’m late.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s fine.” Dejun glanced down at Hendery as he spoke, drawing Donghyuck’s attention to the hand he had curled protectively around the other boy’s shoulder. He looked like he was debating whether to remove it or not, staring just a little longer at his own fingers than was socially acceptable, but then seemed to decide against it. “Come on in. Make yourself—I mean, obviously, make yourself comfortable. This is your office as much as it is mine, after all, even if you never come in here anymore.”</p><p> </p><p>The senior made very deliberate eye contact with him as he spoke—a shiver passing up Donghyuck’s spine at the keen intellect in Dejun’s gaze as they stared each other down—but he didn't say anything further. Just watched as Donghyuck selected a seat from the eclectic collection, a stiff-backed wooden chair with a garish pink cushion, and waited for him to settle.</p><p> </p><p>“So, uh, you said you wanted to discuss some ideas for the musical?” Surprised that they were jumping into things so quickly, all the very real suggestions he’d spent his last hour of class coming up with fled Donghyuck’s brain in a hurry, leaving him with nothing but tumbleweed and subterfuge. He opened and closed his mouth a few times as he frantically scrambled for brain cells, hoping Dejun wouldn't immediately spot the lie in his face, before finally managing to manifest a logical thought.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, that’s right.” Donghyuck glanced down distractedly at Hendery as he began to speak. The boy still hadn't looked up from where he was slowly tracing grains of wood between his legs with his thumb, and he didn't look to be remotely interested in their conversation, so Donghyuck quickly turned his attention back to Dejun. “Um. Well to start with, I was thinking that we need to completely rethink the blocking for the climax in Act 1. The freshmen are really struggling with the cues in that final scene.”</p><p> </p><p>Even if he hadn't ever intended to bring it up on this particular day, this was something that <em>had </em>actually been festering in the back of Donghyuck’s mind for a while, so it didn't take much for him and Dejun to immerse themselves in a detailed discussion of blocking and cue markings for the musical. As they talked, Donghyuck couldn't help but notice the way that both seniors visibly relaxed, Hendery leaning further and further into Dejun’s thigh as he let their conversation wash over him.</p><p> </p><p>They were both exhausted, he noted, as Dejun’s fingers disappeared into Hendery’s hair, smoothing gently through the dark strands like it was a lifeline to keep him from drifting off into space. Hendery even started to fall asleep as they moved on to discuss Act 2—and the many problems therein that Donghyuck hadn’t yet even noticed—and it was a relief to watch the way the boy’s face smoothed out and the worry lines bled out from under his eyes as they watched.</p><p> </p><p>“He’s had a rough few days,” Dejun offered softly, fingers never faltering in their movements through his boyfriend’s hair. Donghyuck almost startled as he realised that he’d been staring—and that Dejun had seen him staring—but a quick glance up at the senior told him that Dejun’s attention wasn't on him anymore. They were both watching Hendery as he slept, expression completely unburdened in rest as he pillowed his cheek on Dejun’s leg, arms folded protectively in across his chest.</p><p> </p><p>“You both have,” Donghyuck whispered. “I don’t know too much about what happened, and I know no one deserves to have that happen to them, but I’m really sorry that it had to be you two.” Dejun shifted a little in his chair to face him better, careful not to jostle Hendery too much, but the stoic resignation and acceptance was abundantly evident in his gaze even from an angle.</p><p> </p><p>“If it wasn't us, it would have just been someone else,” he said. He shrugged, offering Donghyuck a small, sad smile. “Your three friends, maybe.” Donghyuck immediately opened his mouth to—do what? Protest, maybe? He didn’t know—but Dejun waved him off with his free hand. “It’s okay, Hyuck. I watch people; see what others don’t.” He chuckled softly. “They’re not quite as subtle as they think they are. Not to me, at least.”</p><p> </p><p>“You know, that’s not the first time they’ve been told that this week.”</p><p> </p><p>“Interesting.” Dejun paused, glancing down at his boyfriend again briefly, before blinking up at Donghyuck with open curiosity. “So, do you want to tell me the real reason you asked to meet up now? And don’t tell me it was to discuss the stage markings for the ensemble dance numbers, because we both know that’s complete bullshit.”</p><p> </p><p>“I—” Dejun just fixed him with another scarily knowing look and Donghyuck sighed, leaning forward onto his elbows. “Honestly, I just figured you could use an excuse to get away from it all for a while. I—” He couldn't begin to decipher the cryptic expression on Dejun’s face, as it shifted just a little away from its previous careful detachment, so he decided to stick with the truth. “I’m sorry if I stepped over the mark. I just wanted to help.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know.”</p><p> </p><p>“You do?”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course I do.” Dejun flashed Donghyuck a small smile, this one almost reaching his eyes, and reached out with his free hand to pat the younger boy on the knee that was closest to him. “You weren’t exactly subtle about it when we bumped into each other in the hallway earlier. At first, I actually thought you wanted to interrogate me about our relationship—like everyone else seems to—and figured that one on one would be less painful than a cafeteria full of people staring at us all the way through lunch, but that wasn’t it at all.”</p><p> </p><p>“You thought I wanted to interrogate you?” Donghyuck couldn't believe what he was hearing, and frowned in confusion at Dejun. Did the older boy really think that little of him? He spared the slumbering Hendery another fleeting glance. Did they <em>both </em>share that opinion of him? “Why would you think that?”</p><p> </p><p>“Do you really want me to answer that?” Dejun folded both arms across his chest, eliciting a small whine of disappointment from Hendery as he detached his fingers from the boy’s scalp, and leant back further into his chair. His gaze swept Donghyuck from head to foot—as though he was seeing something from this vantage point that no one else could—and he cocked an eyebrow in challenge.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t understand. What—?”</p><p> </p><p>“Because that’s exactly what the old Donghyuck would have done.” Both of them startled at the sound of Hendery’s voice, seconds before the boy unfolded himself from the comfortable position he’d been napping in and stretched languidly, but the words themselves didn't seem to fluster Dejun as much as Donghyuck might have expected. Hendery blinked up at his boyfriend, a small pout on his lips, and shrugged. “What? You said it yourself before he arrived. It’s the truth.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know, baby,” Dejun agreed, eyes softening in a way Donghyuck had never seen from him before as he met his boyfriend’s gaze. “I wasn't just going to come right out and say it though. The plan was to at least make him work for it a bit first.”</p><p> </p><p>“Wait—” Donghyuck was now thoroughly confused, although the conspiratorial, largely silent exchange happening between the pair in front of him led him to believe he was the only one. “What are you talking about? Work for what?”</p><p> </p><p>“Work up to whatever it is you’re hiding, Lee Donghyuck,” Dejun told him, face deadpan for a moment before he cracked a sly smile, “if that even is your real name.”</p><p> </p><p><em> It might just be the only thing about me that is real, </em>Donghyuck thought distractedly, as his gaze darted rapidly from Dejun to Hendery and back. Still, he hoped that his poker face would hold a little longer. This was, after all, not why he’d skipped his lunch break to come and spend time in a—well, in a glorified cupboard—and he was pretty sure that telling the pair of them his secret completely out of the blue like this wouldn’t be a good idea.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Calm, collected and unaffected. Donghyuck was none of the above, but he was hoping that Dejun might buy it even a little bit. “I’m not hiding anything.”</p><p> </p><p>“Come on, Hyuck.” Dejun sounded almost disappointed, although Donghyuck couldn’t imagine why. “I’m not stupid and, like I said, I watch people. I see everything, even the things others try to hide. Even if I <em> didn't </em>know you better than just about anyone, you’ve got some of the biggest tells in the world and your poker face is awful. I always know when you’re lying.”</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck, at least, knew that the first part was true. Even from only their brief interactions in his reality, he knew that Xiao Dejun was one of the most observant people he’d ever met—the life and soul of a room when called upon, but also equally skilled at fading into the background when he wanted to, carefully analysing everything and everyone around him before making decisions. It was a skill Donghyuck had long admired him for—and had even used to his advantage once or twice—but never in a million years had he expected it to be turned back on him like this.</p><p> </p><p>As for the second part, one phrase cemented itself in the forefront of Donghyuck’s mind like a cattle brand. <em> If I didn't know you better than just about anyone. </em>He and Dejun weren’t exactly what anyone would call close friends, not in either reality, but Donghyuck was realising more and more lately that he had absolutely no idea what kind of life the other Lee Donghyuck had led before he suddenly left in a hurry. For all he knew, he and Dejun might have been close—although he doubted it, based on the other Donghyuck’s track record with friends—but he had no way to find out without exposing himself as a fraud.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not lying, hyung,” he said finally, looking away when the twin gazes of the two senior boys became too much to bear. He forced himself to relax back into his seat, to mirror Dejun’s nonchalant pose, and tried his best not to look half as guilty as he felt as he stared off into the middle distance.</p><p> </p><p>“See,” Dejun said slowly, tilting his head to one side confidently. “That right there is one reason that I know for sure you’re lying.” Donghyuck opened his mouth to speak, but Dejun continued before he could utter a single word in his own defence. “Until the start of this school year, you had never called me hyung before. Not even once.</p><p> </p><p>“I know because I waited a whole year, hoping to hear you say it. I know you didn't particularly like me, although you were never outright rude about it. Frankly, the feeling was mutual, but I had hoped you’d start to warm up to me eventually.” He paused, offering Donghyuck another thoughtful look. “I know you wanted to be the youngest Drama Society President in school history. You never said it, but I <em> know </em> you resented the fact that I got elected and you didn’t.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sure I didn't—”</p><p> </p><p>“Believe me, you did,” Dejun insisted. He didn't sound upset about it, although it had clearly bothered both of them at some point in the past. Instead, he sounded almost hopeful. “We talked every single day, Donghyuck. Whether you wanted to or not, you ended up sharing more with me than you ever did with any of your friends—most of whom, I can’t help but notice, you don’t speak to anymore.”</p><p> </p><p>“People change,” Donghyuck said weakly, although he got the impression that he was now fighting upstream without much of a paddle left to speak of. Whatever Dejun had seen in him, or thought he had seen, it wasn't going to be easy to just explain away. He wasn't even sure he wanted to anymore. If he could somehow guarantee they wouldn’t fear—or hate—him afterwards, he’d come clean right now, consequences be damned.</p><p> </p><p>“I know, and you did change. The <em>old </em>you, the you that, somehow, completely vanished over summer vacation, left this—” He broke off, leaning forward as though to see Donghyuck more clearly. “Left someone entirely different in his stead.”</p><p> </p><p>“I—I can explain.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’d like that.”</p><p> </p><p>“I—” A thousand thoughts flooded through Donghyuck’s mind like a tidal wave, a dozen similar conversations had with his other brothers over the previous few months, but he couldn't find a good place to start. This was different. This wasn't Renjun or Jaemin, who had largely figured it out on their own, or Jaehyun and Doyoung, who had patiently watched him grow up in two different realities. This was new, this was alien, and this was a huge, flying leap into the unknown. “I guess I can’t explain.”</p><p> </p><p>“Try me,” Dejun offered calmly, scooting his chair a little closer to Donghyuck’s. As he did so, Hendery raised his hand over his head and gave it a little wave.</p><p> </p><p>“I can leave if it would make you more comfortable, Donghyuck-ssi.” He started to stand, using Dejun’s knee to push up off the ground. “I know you don’t really know me yet.”</p><p> </p><p>“No.” Donghyuck shook his head. That might be true to a certain extent but, if this was really happening, here and now, it was both of them or nothing. He was done keeping people in the dark, especially if it was likely to cause more harm than good. “You’re as much a part of this as Dejun-hyung is. Stay, please.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh.” Hendery froze, halfway to a standing position, and then let his body weight pull him back down towards the ground again. Dejun frowned down at his boyfriend at Donghyuck’s words, but didn't say anything. Once Hendery was seated again, they simultaneously turned their attention back to the boy opposite them, an unspoken encouragement in their eyes that helped steady his racing heart a little.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t even know where to start,” Donghyuck said after a moment, when the silence became claustrophobic. He knew that he had to try one more time to deflect the attention off of him and this conversation, before they went beyond the point of no return, but he knew it wasn't going to work even as he spoke the first word. “We were talking about the musical. How did we get onto this? You’ve both got too much on your minds right now, and I don’t need to burden you with my problems too.”</p><p> </p><p>“Not at all.” This time it was Hendery who spoke, and the certainty in his words had Donghyuck’s head snapping up to meet his steady gaze. A whole host of unfathomable emotions swam in the older boy’s eyes as he pinned Donghyuck down with a single glance, but one easily eclipsed everything else. <em> Need. </em>“Trust me.”</p><p> </p><p>They <em>needed </em>this, Donghyuck realised. As much as they wanted to support him—and that much was undeniable in the gentle smile Dejun levelled at him, when he glanced over at the other senior boy—he was a welcome diversion from the outside world right now. They didn't want to dwell inside their own thoughts right now—a sensation Donghyuck knew all too well lately—and he presented the perfect distraction.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay.” He sighed. He couldn't turn back now, even if he wanted to. “But you’re not going to believe me. I mean, how could you?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m a senior in high school majoring in Performing Arts,” Dejun said dryly. “You’d be surprised what I’ll believe. Try me—” He glanced down at Hendery, fingers snaking out to take the other boy’s hand as it was offered to him. “Try us.”</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>“Hello?”</p><p> </p><p>This time, the soft knock at the door surprised all three of them, Hendery jumping up from his latest perch on Dejun’s lap as Donghyuck twisted around in his chair to greet the latest arrival. A tuft of unruly black hair preceded Chenle as he peered slowly into the room, looking a little nervous, and he flushed as his eyes darted from one hyung to the next.</p><p> </p><p>“Chenle-yah, how long were you standing outside before you knocked?” Dejun asked, eyeing Donghyuck warily. They had just finished discussing the particulars of how far Donghyuck’s little secret had spread thus far, including the crucial revelation that the two youngest were still completely unaware, and this would certainly not be the ideal setting for yet another reveal. Not yet.</p><p> </p><p>“Not long.” Nothing in Chenle’s face betrayed concern or discomfort, and the albeit shy smile he flashed Donghyuck seemed genuine, so he felt himself relax. Chenle edged further into the room, revealing arms weighed down by a pile of what looked to be cafeteria-packaged food, and then made a beeline for Donghyuck. “Mark-hyung mentioned that you were in here for a meeting, and I figured you probably hadn’t had time for lunch, so I brought you something. I hope you like chicken…”</p><p> </p><p>He held out a neatly wrapped sandwich in Donghyuck’s direction, nearly dropping a second in his eagerness, and the older boy dived for it before it could hit the ground. “Oops.” Chenle giggled, the sound so carefree and airy that it filled the room instantly, and Donghyuck couldn't help the grin it brought effortlessly to his lips. “I guess I shouldn’t have tried to carry them all on my own.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m surprised you didn't rope Jisung in to come with you,” Dejun said teasingly, causing Chenle’s cheeks to get just that little bit more crimson. Donghyuck’s brows rose, surprised once again by Dejun’s stellar observational skills, but Chenle just offered him a sandwich and a petulant eye roll. “What? The boy is your shadow in all but name.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ge-ge!” Chenle groaned dramatically in response to Dejun’s teasing, but Donghyuck didn't miss the way his eyes flicked restlessly across to the open doorway as Dejun took the food from his outstretched hand. He looked away quickly when he noticed Donghyuck watching, focusing instead on Hendery and Dejun, but it was too late. Dejun was right. Chenle never went far without his ever-present companion, especially at lunchtime.</p><p> </p><p>“Jisung is waiting outside, isn't he?” Chenle looked like he was about to deny it, even as he shuffled the remaining food items carefully in his arms, but then he sighed and nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“He didn't know if you would want both of us invading your personal space—especially today,” he paused, blinking at Dejun and Hendery for a moment, before continuing, “so we agreed that he should wait out in the main hallway.”</p><p> </p><p>“Like hell he should.” Hendery stepped out from where he had been pacing slowly between Dejun’s chair and the wall, and marched toward the door like a man on a mission. As he disappeared into the dark studio beyond, muttering something that Donghyuck couldn't quite make out through the thin walls of the office, there was a squeak of surprise and the hurried sound of shuffling feet. “Get back in here, Jisung-ah. I see you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Kunghang-hyung, I was just…”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not mad, Sungie,” Hendery told the disembodied voice of a thoroughly cornered Lee Jisung. “I just don’t want you to run away. Come on over here.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re busy.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m never too busy for you, kiddo.” Hendery’s voice softened as he offered up the affectation, and Donghyuck could practically feel the warring embarrassment and pride radiating off Jisung in waves, even from this distance. “Although, if you argue with me on this, I’ll ask Soonyoungie to get you to lead the speed drills in dance rehearsal every day for the next month.”</p><p> </p><p>“You wouldn’t!” Less than ten seconds later, a wide-eyed Jisung came hurtling in through the office door, skidding to a stop just before he tripped over the leg of Donghyuck’s chair. Flinging an arm out to stop himself falling, he found himself clinging to the older boy’s shoulder for dear life, a fact that seemed to register at the exact moment that Hendery started laughing behind him. “Uh. Whoops. Hi, hyung.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, Jisung.” As Donghyuck spoke, Jisung dropped his arm like he’d been burned and took several hurried steps back, which only resulted in him tripping backwards over the desk in the corner of the room instead, landing on the dusty wooden tabletop with a loud thud and the agonising squeal of metal against wood as the table scraped across the floor to collide with the wall. “Are you okay?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m fine.” Jisung didn't move from his newfound perch atop the table, ears and face flaming as he stared daggers into his own lap. Hendery was doubled over in a fit of hysterics by the door, as Chenle’s high-pitched peals of laughter washed over all of them from his spot by Dejun. Even the stoic senior cracked a smile, although Donghyuck suspected that probably had more to do with Hendery’s sudden joy than Jisung’s antics. “Sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t be,” Hendery insisted, recovering from his merriment long enough to straighten up and fix Jisung with a surprisingly earnest look. “That’s the most I’ve laughed in a long time, Jisung-ah. I needed that.”</p><p> </p><p>“I think we all did,” Dejun agreed, standing up from his seat and making his way over to Hendery. Hendery opened his arms to accept him before he was even halfway there, pulling the other boy into a tight embrace as soon as he was within arm’s length. “And thank you for the food, Chenle-yah. That was very sweet of you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course.” Chenle glanced down at the two sandwiches left in his hands, then up at the couple who appeared to Donghyuck to be attempting to morph into each other by sheer proximity. “I didn’t know that Kunghang-ge would be here too, or I would have brought more.” He held out one of the remaining sandwiches to Hendery. “You can have mine. Jisungie and I can share.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh no, that’s okay.” Hendery nudged the sandwich back towards Chenle, who reluctantly handed it over to a happy looking Jisung on his desk throne, and fluffed the freshman’s hair affectionately. “I’m not hungry, and Jisung needs the calories a lot more than I do.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks, hyung.” Jisung started to unwrap the food, eyes firmly fixed on the chicken-filled prize clutched in his fingers, but Donghyuck hesitated before he opened his, eyes drawn to the solitary sandwich left in Chenle’s hand.</p><p> </p><p>“Did you buy these?” When Chenle looked confused, he waved the sandwich in front of him and then reached for the wallet he knew was nestled in the inner pocket of his blazer. Dejun did the same beside him, clearly sharing his opinion that the younger boy shouldn't have to pay for their lunch just because of his selfless heart, but Chenle shook his head firmly. He started to open his mouth to explain, but Jisung beat him to it.</p><p> </p><p>“The kitchen staff gave them to him for free,” Jisung told them matter of factly, before taking another bite of his sandwich. “He made friends with all of them last semester and now they’ll give him basically anything he wants.”</p><p> </p><p>He spoke through a mouthful of bread and chicken, cheeks puffed out like a hamster to keep the food from escaping his mouth, and Donghyuck grinned at him again. It was such a familiar sight from their trainee days—the youngest members stuffing food into their mouths to keep it being stolen by one of their older brothers, despite that never actually happening thanks to Taeyong and Doyoung—and the surge of affection and longing it evoked threatened to bring a tear to his eye.</p><p> </p><p>“Of course they do.” Donghyuck didn't know why he’d expected any different. This was Chenle they were talking about, after all. The boy could charm anyone into almost anything, even as an adult, and he’d always been a lot more lethal as a kid. This Chenle, adorable and baby-faced as he was, could probably scam even Donghyuck at this point if he wanted to, despite the obvious advantage the older boy had over the majority of the people in his life.</p><p> </p><p>“So, uh, what were you all talking about before I, you know...?” Jisung asked conversationally. He gestured sheepishly at the desk beneath him, as though anyone could have forgotten his farce in the few minutes that had since passed. However, despite his efforts to make casual conversation, at Jisung’s words, the room abruptly got very quiet. Dejun made eye contact with Donghyuck and Donghyuck stared right back—although likely for two very different reasons—and Jisung seemed to realise his mistake immediately. “Oh. Never mind. I got it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Actually, we were talking about you two,” Dejun interjected, cutting through the awkwardness with typical Dejun tact and awareness. “We were just discussing how adorable you are, Jisung-ah. We can continue if you want. I think it was Hendery’s turn.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, is it?” Hendery’s eyes lit up.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyung, no!” Jisung almost dropped the remainder of his sandwich in his hurry to dismount the desk, but Hendery just flashed him a cheeky, devilish smirk. Realising he’d been baited, Jisung huffed and scrunched up his nose to convey his disapproval, but Donghyuck recognised the move for what it was. A distraction, a perfectly executed tag-team effort by Dejun and Hendery to shift the conversation away from the three of them, and back on to Jisung and Chenle.</p><p> </p><p>The two freshmen didn't need to know about how Donghyuck had shared his concerns with the two seniors over the past half hour. How he’d found it strangely effortless to discuss his situation with them, once he’d started to open up, and how talking it all through had been an oddly cathartic experience. How, once he’d gotten over his initial reticence and fear, they had accepted his story and his tumultuous feelings with grace, kindness and unflappable patience.</p><p> </p><p>They also didn't need to hear about how Dejun had broken down just a few minutes later, because he was so worried about the backlash of his relationship with Hendery. Not worry for himself—never that—but worry for the boy that he loved, despite Hendery’s repeated assurances that he was willing to take it all on a hundred times over for a chance at happiness for the two of them. </p><p> </p><p>Despite the largely positive response to their relationship going public, at least from the small demographic that made up Neo City High School, Donghyuck couldn't imagine how either of them was feeling right now. They were both taking it astonishingly well, even if they had repeatedly thanked him for giving them an excuse to hide out over lunch, but it still was a heavy subject. The maknaes certainly didn't need the weight of any of that pressing down on them. On this, at least, Donghyuck was glad they all agreed.</p><p> </p><p>“How long do we have left of—?” Dejun lifted his arm to peer at the watch on his wrist just as a loud bell sounded from out in the hallway, effectively answering the question he’d been about to ask. Jisung—predictable as ever—leapt a foot in the air at the noise, clutching half a smushed chicken sandwich to his chest as he did so, even as Chenle laughed at the startled expression on his face.</p><p> </p><p>“I guess I won’t be finishing this anytime soon,” Chenle said, sobering quickly as he appeared to address the food in his hand. He patted the sandwich wrapper gently, as if to console the ingredients remaining within, and then turned to Jisung. “We should go and grab our bags from the cafeteria, before Jaemin-hyung has to leave for gym. If we run, we should be able to make it.”</p><p> </p><p>In response, Jisung forced the last bite of food into his mouth and then held out a grubby palm for Chenle to take. To his credit, the older boy grimaced as he stared down at the small bread crumbs dotting Jisung’s fingers, prompting him to try and wipe it off on the corner of his shirt. Donghyuck half expected Chenle to call him out on it, in typically dramatic fashion for the diminutive Chinese boy, but he just took the reoffered hand and dragged Jisung out of the room with a sharp tug.</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks for today, Hyuck-ah,” Dejun said, once the pair were out of earshot. He scooped up his bag from where he’d stowed it under his chair, and then handed Hendery’s up to him. Hendery squeezed his arm in thanks, before turning to face Donghyuck.</p><p> </p><p>“Same here, Donghyuck-ssi.” Hendery still wasn't quite as familiar with him as Dejun was, so the formality didn't bother the younger boy yet, but Donghyuck hoped that they would reach that tipping point soon. It felt like something had shifted today, somewhere in the midst of the soul-bearing the three of them had done, and the smile he offered Donghyuck now was genuine and heartfelt. “Thank you for helping us forget about everything for a while and just—”</p><p> </p><p>“Just be,” Dejun finished, stepping up beside his boyfriend. He hesitated for a moment, before seeming to decide that he didn't much care about Donghyuck’s presence, and then pressed a soft kiss to Hendery’s cheek. “We really appreciate it. More than we can say.”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course.” Donghyuck’s response was immediate and instinctual. “Right back at you both. I couldn't really have asked for a better response to me telling you that I’m an interloper in someone else’s body. I think you might have actually taken it the best out of everyone.”</p><p> </p><p>“Anytime,” Dejun said with a light chuckle. “Although I really hope there are no other massive surprises hidden inside that brain of yours.”</p><p> </p><p>“There aren’t. I promise!” He really did have nothing left to hide from these two now, meaning that he had just acquired two new supporters to his case. They knew everything, for better or for worse—and he really hoped it was for better, because he had found himself enjoying their company far more than he could have hoped—and now the list of people he was lying to was that little bit smaller.</p><p> </p><p>“Good to know.” Dejun glanced down at his watch again, frowning at the small metal hands that were unceasing in their endless march around the face. “We need to get going, or we’ll be late. It was really nice to spend this time with you Hyuck, getting to know each other better—this version of you, anyway. We should try to do this again soon.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah. I’d love to meet your friends,” Hendery added. “The ones you told us about.”</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck wasn't sure exactly which friends he was referring to, since he’d mentioned at least eighteen of them over the course of their discussions, but he guessed it didn't really matter. Dejun’s words had sounded far too much like goodbye for his liking—the careful detachment of someone who knows that, once they leave this room, they’ll likely go back to being mere acquaintances—and Donghyuck didn't like the idea of that one bit.</p><p> </p><p>“Come sit with us,” he blurted, as he followed the pair out into the dark theatre space. Dejun shut the office door behind them, flicking the light off as he passed and plunging them into near pitch blackness. A second later, his phone torchlight lit the patch of floor in front of him, and the other two boys filed after him like moths seeking out a flame. “You’d be welcome anytime.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sit with you?” Hendery asked, as he stepped out into the hallway beyond the studio, steadily filling with students moving between floors on their way to their classes. They got more than a few stray glances and whispered comments as they emerged, but Donghyuck pointedly ignored them all. “You mean at lunch?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.” Donghyuck shrugged as if to indicate that it was no big deal, even though the offer was clearly more than a casual suggestion of a change of scenery. “I know you usually sit with your friends, and I obviously don’t want to intrude on that, but…” He paused, trying to word his offer in a way that made sense to his own ears. “...if you ever want to talk—or <em> not </em> talk—about anything, the offer is always open.”</p><p> </p><p>A large crowd of female students chose that moment to pass by, jostling and talking loudly amongst themselves. Dejun and Hendery were quickly swept away by it, the group heading in the same direction they needed to go, but Dejun had just enough time to pull Donghyuck into a brief, fierce hug. Lips pressed close to his ear, so only Donghyuck would be able to hear, he spoke almost too quickly for the younger boy to catch.</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks, Hyuck-ah,” he said. “We might just take you up on that one day.”</p><p> </p><p>A moment later they were gone, Hendery’s fingers wrapped tightly around Dejun’s wrist to stop them from getting separated in the crush of people, and Donghyuck was alone. Hiking his bag up onto his shoulder, he started to push against the flow through the crowd on his way to the nearest staircase, smiling contentedly to himself as he sifted through his jumbled thoughts.</p><p> </p><p>This definitely wasn't how he’d planned the day going, both when he’d arrived at school and when he’d walked into the drama studio after his conversation with Mark, but he couldn't find it within himself to regret any of it. His relationship with Dejun—and, by extension, Hendery—had completely shifted today, now that they both knew the truth, but he also knew that, in the process, he’d managed to had a positive influence on their day, however small.</p><p> </p><p>They’d left the drama studio with smiles on their faces because of him, a stark contrast to how he’d found them at the start of the hour. Because of him, they’d felt comfortable enough to open up about their concerns, to let him try and help. To let him comfort them. That was all he could ever hope to offer to his friends and family, Donghyuck realised, regardless of who they were or what they were going through.</p><p> </p><p>He had always been the one to lift the mood—a source of levity in tough situations. He’d always been a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day but, somewhere along the way, he’d partially lost sight of that part of himself. He hadn't even noticed it was gone until today, but now, thanks to Dejun and Hendery, it was as plain to see as if it was tattooed on the inside of his eyelids. Thanks to them, a small part of the person he had once been was reemerging, reminding him in some small way of why he was proud to be Donghyuck—to be Haechan.</p><p> </p><p>He wouldn't lose that part of him again, he vowed, as he crested the stairs and caught sight of Renjun waiting for him outside his next class. He would cling to it—take it home with him and use it to be better. For his family, for his brothers, he could be better. Should be better. <em> Would </em>be better.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>As ever, feedback of all kinds is encouraged and appreciated. I have completely lost control of my inbox at this point, but I appreciate each and every comment, kudos and view. So thank you!</p><p>I also have a couple of new works on the account now, one of which is a short one-shot that I wrote for a fest on Twitter and one of which was just started written to satisfy an urge. Neither is MarkHyuck, so I know they won't be everyone's bag, but feel free to check them out <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/galaxy_neozone/works">here</a> if you wish.</p><p>As always, have a wonderful day! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0053"><h2>53. Chapter 53</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Happy New Year, dear readers. The festive season kept me from writing for a little while, despite the current unfortunate restrictions on traditional family gatherings, but I'm finally back with a new chapter.</p><p>This one really made me work for it, and went in some directions I truly did not expect along the way, but I hope you still enjoy. We set up the end of two important story arcs in this one (bonus points if you can guess which ones in the comments), both of which will play out over the next few chapters as we trundle headlong towards the end. You'll also see we have a shiny new chapter goal now too, which I'm determined to stick to, so I'm going to slowly start closing things out arc by arc until we wrap up all the loose ends. I'm already super excited to finally get to take you all there with me!</p><p>P.S. For those of you who don't remember—she was introduced in chapter 7, so I don't blame you—Yang Hyojin is/was Lee Donghyuck's best friend in this reality, before Haechan arrived. Something happened between them, not that this Hyuck would know anything about that, but some relationships are harder to quit than others.</p><p>P.P.S. Fair warning: this one ends on a bit of a cliffhanger again (sorry, I swear I'm not doing it deliberately). If you want to avoid that particular struggle and wait, given the inconsistency of my uploads lately, I'll understand. :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Despite Mark having insisted that he’d really been waiting for Jeno all along that day—lurking conspicuously outside their classroom as the bell went for lunch, his fellow soccer player nowhere to be found—the sweet gesture quickly became a habit. To Donghyuck’s bemusement, Mark didn't seem to notice the way that crowds gathered each day like clockwork, whispering and talking amongst themselves while the senior waited patiently for Donghyuck to exit whatever classroom he was in.</p><p> </p><p>He wasn't sure exactly where Mark had obtained his class schedule from, although Jaemin had developed a suspiciously twitchy eye when he’d brought it up in casual conversation, but Donghyuck supposed there were worse things in life than to have the person of his dreams following him around like a lost puppy. <em> Dreams </em> because, despite Mark’s obvious eagerness to be in his company every day, the other boy had made sure to maintain a deliberate, careful distance between them since that first time.</p><p> </p><p>Sure, he still pressed up close into Donghyuck’s side whenever they navigated a particularly narrow hallway, or sat close enough on the cafeteria bench during lunch for Donghyuck to feel the warmth of his body through multiple layers of clothing, but there was something different about the way Mark treated him now. He couldn't pinpoint exactly what had changed—or why—but Mark had taken to treating him like a fragile glass ornament that might shatter at any moment, and Donghyuck...well, Donghyuck hated it.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you getting food today?”</p><p> </p><p>Mark’s voice snapped Donghyuck out of the funk he’d been in for the last ten minutes, ever since he’d emerged from his History classroom to find Mark inspecting the decorations on the freshman class board outside. He blinked up at the older boy, who was watching him diligently from a respectable distance away, and had the sudden, overwhelming urge to lunge forward and bury his face into Mark’s shirt, to close this cavernous void between them by force.</p><p> </p><p>Instead, he just sighed and nodded. “Yeah.”</p><p> </p><p>“Forgot to pack it again?” Mark’s tone was light, playful in a way that reminded Donghyuck achingly of the boy he’d grown up with, but the harsh set of Mark’s jaw and the detached dullness behind his eyes belied any hopes he might have of Mark getting over whatever mood he was in.</p><p> </p><p>“Worse.” Jaemin chose that moment to poke his head around Donghyuck’s shoulder, grinning mischievously. “He packed it last night and then left it in the fridge.” Jaemin patted his friend on the bicep, in a move that was probably meant to be consoling, and then focused in on Mark again. “Come on, hyung. Let’s leave this idiot to queue for his processed garbage in peace. I’m hungry and Renjun has dumplings I need to steal.”</p><p> </p><p>He didn't think Jaemin was fully aware of the awkward tension he’d effortlessly just cut through like a knife, but Donghyuck still flashed a grateful smile at the back of the exuberant boy’s head as he dragged Mark off towards their usual lunch table. He knew that it was only a matter of time before one of the nauseatingly happy throuple figured out there was trouble in paradise—he’d have to deal with that, and Mark, when it happened—but, for now, he was thankful for the respite.</p><p> </p><p>“What are you getting, hyung?”</p><p> </p><p>Startling, Donghyuck spun on his heel to see Jisung watching him curiously from a few paces away. He had a tray in his hands, several items from the drinks fridge already crowded on one side, while Chenle stood at his elbow, tapping the lid of a large plastic container thoughtfully as he read the handwritten label pasted to it.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know yet.” Behind him, someone coughed very deliberately, and he spun on his heel to face a tired-looking staff member brandishing an identical plastic tray in his direction. Apologising sheepishly, he accepted it with both hands, hoping fervently that she hadn't been waiting long, but the look of resigned irritation on the woman’s face told him otherwise. He bowed his head again, colour rising to his cheeks, and quickly selected something at random from the display between them. “This looks good.”</p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t know you liked salads, hyung,” Chenle mused, putting the container in his hands back and selecting a different one. He pursed his lips for a moment, staring down at the new label, and then dropped it onto Jisung’s awaiting tray. “I’ve never seen you pick that before.”</p><p> </p><p>“I—” Donghyuck frowned down at the covered plate on his tray, the mass of green leaves framing the dish confirming Chenle’s words. A neat white label on top proclaimed it to be a chicken and noodle salad, although he had yet to spot either in amongst the colourful explosion of vegetables, but Chenle was right.</p><p> </p><p>He hadn't picked it up intentionally, and he definitely would not have chosen it voluntarily, but Donghyuck couldn't bring himself to return it. The queue was long and impatient, his usual choices requiring him to backtrack or join the end of the line again, so he shrugged and accepted his fate. “I guess I just felt like something different today.”</p><p> </p><p>Chenle seemed to accept his words at face value, distracted by the grossly unhealthy dessert options that manifested themselves as the queue shuffled forward a few steps. Jisung hesitated, staring at Donghyuck for a long moment with a vigilant intensity that made the older boy a little uneasy, but then Chenle broke his concentration with a well-timed chocolate pudding cup and he looked away.</p><p> </p><p>They made quick work of the rest of the process, Donghyuck paying for all of their food with a deft flick of his debit card. Chenle started to protest loudly, an exaggerated performance that didn't sound convincing to either of the other boys, so Donghyuck offered to let him pay the next time. That shut him up faster than a hand over his mouth, setting Jisung off into a fit of wheezing laughter as they followed Donghyuck across the cafeteria towards where their friends were waiting.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t roll your eyes at me. It’s not like I would <em> mind </em> paying, Sungie…” Donghyuck smirked softly to himself as Chenle, all too predictably, started whining behind him. Jisung said something in response, his voice even and unwaveringly patient as he addressed his best friend, but Donghyuck tuned them both out. Instead, he focused on navigating the crush of students coming and going from the tables around him, tray cradled protectively to his chest to avoid any damage coming to his salad.</p><p> </p><p>Across the room, Donghyuck could see Renjun and Jaemin at one end of the long table, the latter’s mouth moving a mile a minute as whatever he was saying made Renjun throw his head back and laugh. Beyond them, Jeno and Mark were almost exclusively focused on their lunch, shovelling food into their mouths with aplomb while Yukhei waved his hands enthusiastically along with whatever story he was in the middle of recounting to them both.</p><p> </p><p>It made his heart feel warm and full inside his chest to see them all gathered around one table like this, Donghyuck thought, as he watched Yukhei’s eyes light up mid-sentence. The senior boy’s arms flailed wildly and he flashed an impossibly big smile, which elicited a chuckle from Jeno. He smacked Yukhei’s arm, causing Yukhei to pout dramatically, and then Mark joined in with the laughter.</p><p> </p><p>It was the first genuine emotion Donghyuck had seen cross Mark’s face that week, he realised abruptly. Of course, Mark still smiled at him and laughed at all of his jokes, no matter how questionable, but the twinkle of authenticity that lingered in his eyes now, as he stared affectionately at Jeno and Yukhei, had been conspicuously absent during their interactions. Absent, Donghyuck suspected, because of him.</p><p> </p><p>All of a sudden, a wave of icy misery crashed over him and Donghyuck’s face fell. He knew that he had to have done something to upset Mark, to cause this jarring change in the boy he loved more than anything, but he was at a loss as to how to fix it. Their relationship here was still so tenuous, so uncertain and raw, new to both of them in their own unique ways.</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck knew that he needed to fix things, to smooth out the wrinkles and figure out how to move forward, but he’d need to be brave for that. Brave enough to risk upsetting the status quo. For that, he’d need to actually pluck up the courage to confront Mark about whatever was wrong. He’d need to...</p><p> </p><p>“Yah! Lee Donghyuck!” Deep in thought, he didn’t notice the danger until it was too late. Without warning, a surprisingly strong grip on his shoulder had him stopping dead in his tracks in the middle of the cafeteria, and then Donghyuck was being hauled around to face a furious looking Yang Hyojin.</p><p> </p><p>“Can I help y—?”</p><p> </p><p>Hyojin didn’t give him a chance to finish speaking before she was right up in his face, close enough for him to see the faint bloom of red bleeding out from beneath her eyes. Ugly, deep-set dark circles added some additional colour beneath the scarlet and maroon, and Donghyuck instinctively cringed away from her touch as his eyes traced over her usually pretty features. She’d been crying, he realised with a start—that or she was exhausted.</p><p> </p><p>“Remember me,” she hissed, loudly enough for the tables immediately surrounding them to realise something untoward was going on. Most people wisely averted their eyes, but several students turned in their seats to openly stare at them. Hyojin’s voice was strained and shaky, but there was a stubborn edge of sarcasm underpinning each word. “You know, your best friend?”</p><p> </p><p>“Hyojin-ah.” Donghyuck tried to pull free from her grip, conscious that Jisung and Chenle were now likely watching them with wide-eyed bewilderment, but she wasn't making it easy for him. Her fingernails dug into the flesh of his shoulder and upper arm, holding him firm, and Donghyuck suspected he’d have little crescent markings littering his skin later. “Can we talk about this later? Somewhere less…”</p><p> </p><p>“Less what, Donghyuck? Less public? Less embarrassing? Somewhere you can just blow me off again, to go spend time with your new friends instead of me. You always do this and I’m tired of it.”</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck frowned. Hyojin was acting like he’d ghosted her recently, shoving her aside in favour of his brothers—most of whom he hoped were still blissfully ignorant as they ate lunch at a half-full table somewhere on the opposite side of the room. He wasn't quite brave enough to look over to check, or to glance back to see the looks on the maknaes’ faces, but he managed to squarely meet Hyojin’s furious glare as she folded her arms just inches from his chest.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s not true, and we both know it,” he told her, keeping his voice pitched low. Hyojin was clearly angling for a public altercation, one that would force him to respond in kind, but he still didn't understand why and he wasn't willing to indulge her. She’d made absolutely no effort to speak to him in any capacity following the first few weeks of last semester, and Donghyuck couldn't even recall having seen her more than a handful of times outside of full cast theatre rehearsals since then.</p><p> </p><p>Picturing the scant text messages he’d seen on his phone, exchanged between the two of them over the summer—drying up long before he’d even arrived in this reality—he knew for a fact that they hadn’t talked in months. She knew that as well as he did. Better, even, given than he didn't know why they had stopped, but now here she was acting like he’d suddenly dropped into yet another unfamiliar reality.</p><p> </p><p>“We need to talk.” There was still a vicious bite to her voice, expression pinched and tense, but some of the bluster and anger in Hyojin’s eyes seemed to die away as she scowled up at him. Donghyuck blinked once, trying and failing to decipher the emotions flitting rapidly across her face, and then nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“I think you’re right.” Her eyebrows rose in surprise, but she didn't try to interrupt him. “I’ll meet with you and we can talk about whatever you want, but not right now.” His mind helpfully offered up his newfound issues with Mark, as well as everything else currently going on in his life, in support of that statement. As much as he knew that Hyojin wouldn’t wait forever, he really didn't know if he could deal with this at the moment. “Not here, okay?”</p><p> </p><p>He flicked his eyes meaningfully across to where several freshmen girls sat staring at them. One had a phone pointed unmistakably at his face, red camera light winking at him like his own personal demon, and he was relieved when understanding lit up Hyojin’s eyes. He offered her a tight smile, which she returned too quickly for it not to have been an instinctive reaction, and he felt the grip on his shoulder loosen a little.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay.”</p><p> </p><p>“Really?” He was a little surprised that she had given in so easily, given the determination and vitriol still oozing from her every pore, but he wasn't going to turn down a gift freely offered.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah. I get it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh. Well, great!” He shifted his tray to balance it on one hand, patting the pocket of his jacket that held his phone with the other. When his fingers came into contact with the familiar slim, boxy device, he grinned at her again, this time with as much earnestness as he could muster. “Send me a message with the when and where, and I’ll be there. I promise.”</p><p> </p><p>Hyojin nodded, stepping aside to allow him to pass. Donghyuck sighed in relief, finally letting his gaze drift over towards the table where his friends sat. He met Renjun’s gaze, the older boy’s brows furrowed in concentration, but Jaemin was still talking animatedly across from him and none of the others seemed to have noticed anything out of the ordinary.</p><p> </p><p>For that, at least, he was grateful. It just left Jisung and Chenle, neither of whom appeared to have moved a muscle during his conversation with Hyojin, as he turned to look back at them. He didn't meet their eyes, even though Donghyuck could tell from his body language that Chenle was dying to ask him about what had just happened. Instead, he inclined his head mutely towards where the others sat, silently willing his youngest brothers to follow his lead.</p><p> </p><p>Jisung got the hint first, nudging Chenle gently in the shoulder. The older boy peered up at his friend, an entire conversation taking place in the half-second that he held Jisung’s gaze, and then he nodded. A moment later, the three of them were on the move again, leaving Hyojin behind them. Donghyuck couldn't help but hope that she left him alone long enough for him to figure out the rest of his relationships. Forever, he mused, would probably be far too soon.</p><p> </p><p>“Wait!”</p><p> </p><p>He froze, and Chenle almost tripped over his heels as the corner of a tray embedded itself into his spine. He managed to avoid stumbling forward as the shorter boy’s body impacted with his arm, jostling his food, and then glanced back over his shoulder. Hyojin was standing exactly where he’d left her, fingers curved around her slim hips as she let her gaze flit up and down the length of his body.</p><p> </p><p>“What?”</p><p> </p><p>She moved then, closing the distance between them again. Donghyuck briefly considered running, dropping the tray and tucking Chenle and Jisung under his arms to shield them from her attention, but he forced himself not to react. They had just ended their previous conversation civilly enough. He really didn't want to start any new drama this lunchtime.</p><p> </p><p>“Why?” The question was so unexpected, so innocuous that he frowned. Hyojin must have seen the confusion in his eyes, because she continued. “Why not here?”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t understand.” Donghyuck waited for her to clarify further, but Hyojin’s lips remained pressed into a tight line as she stared at him unblinking. He scrambled for a way to explain himself, one that she might accept enough to leave him be. “Look, we’re in the middle of a crowded room right now. I think we can both agree that this is not the best place to have this conversation. I don’t want to start an argument in front of the whole sch—”</p><p> </p><p>“Who are you and what the hell have you done with the old Donghyuck?</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck froze, gaze darting instinctively from Hyojin across to where Chenle and Jisung still lingered with their food, watching this mess of a confrontation play out for the second time in as many minutes, in the middle of the crowded cafeteria. He knew that there was no way that she could <em> know— </em>and no way that either of them could infer anything from her words—but she had unwittingly just hit way too close to home.</p><p> </p><p>His heart pounded in his chest, so hard he could hear it in the blood rushing to his head. He needed to protect them from Hyojin. He wouldn’t let them find out the truth like this. Not from her.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t—”</p><p> </p><p>“Forget it,” she snapped, her voice shrill and loud. He could practically feel the weight of dozens of pairs of eyes locking onto his back as she continued, the volume almost deafening to his ears. “You know what? I don’t even care anymore.” The murderous glint in her eye as she stared him down told Donghyuck that this was undoubtedly a lie, but he forced himself not to tense up as she leaned in close, to whisper something that only he could hear. “Just remember that I know your secrets, Lee Donghyuck. All of them. And you owe me.”</p><p> </p><p>With a flick of her long, straight hair, Hyojin turned on her heel and stalked away. He watched her go, mouth hung open in shock, as he felt rather than saw Jisung and Chenle exchanging confused looks beside him. He didn't even realise he was walking, a warm hand clutching his elbow gently to steer him through the maze of tables, until he was being pulled down into the seat beside Mark, eyes fixed on the cursed salad on the tray in front of him.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s wrong?” he heard Jeno ask from across the table. The conversations happening around him died instantly, the loss of Yukhei’s booming voice leaving him feeling oddly bereft, and Donghyuck felt Mark’s knee smack against his own sharply as the older boy turned to face him.</p><p> </p><p>He glanced up slowly, unnerved to find seven sets of eyes on him. He didn't know what to say. He wasn't sure himself what had just happened, what he’d said to cause such a seismic shift in the diminutive teenage girl who had once been Lee Donghyuck’s best friend, so he certainly didn't have a good answer for Jeno.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyung?” Chenle’s voice cut through the silence, simultaneously both probing and pleading. He could already picture the wounded look that would be gracing the younger boy’s features now, a sad pout to Chenle’s lips that Donghyuck had always been powerless to resist, so he ducked his head to avoid meeting his gaze.</p><p> </p><p>It was a cowardly move, he knew that, but he was liable to spill every single thought in his head in a heartbeat when Chenle acted like this, just to erase the unfiltered hurt in his brother’s eyes. Ordinarily, he wouldn't mind letting the boy manipulate him emotionally, caving like a house of cards in a light breeze, but there were so many things swirling around inside his mind right now that he just couldn't let out. Secrets that Chenle wouldn’t understand. Truths that would change their relationship for good.</p><p> </p><p>No. Donghyuck would have to tell them eventually—Jisung, Chenle and Yukhei, to say nothing of the rest of the members still in the dark—but today was not the day for that. Not after what had just happened. Not because he felt backed into a corner, or because Hyojin had scared them—or him. When he told them, it would be his choice, and his alone.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyu—?”</p><p> </p><p>“Leave him be for now, Chenle-yah.” Renjun cut off Chenle’s renewed questioning with ease, his no-nonsense tone plunging the table into silence once more. For a few minutes, nobody spoke. It was both a blessing and a curse, Donghyuck thought, as he picked half-heartedly at his salad. He was glad to not have to fend off questions, and he was grateful no one else was trying to press him for an account for something he couldn't explain, but the silence was deafening inside his head.</p><p> </p><p>He almost cried with relief when Yukhei mumbled something to Jeno about a soccer practice happening later that day. Jeno hurriedly pulled his phone out of his pocket to check the schedule, which had both Yukhei and Mark leaning across the tabletop to peer at the screen, and the tension that had been building popped like an over-filled balloon.</p><p> </p><p>A moment later, Renjun muttered something under his breath about a large ketchup stain on Jaemin’s shirt collar, causing Jisung to choke on his laughter and drop his own food into his lap, and then it was as though nothing had happened at all. Relaxing, Donghyuck focused on forcing food past his lips and into his stomach, letting the voices of his friends wash over him like a blanket of comfort.</p><p> </p><p>Mark’s fingers surreptitiously found the small of his back a few seconds later, pressing reassuringly into his overheated skin. It was just the barest touch, a reminder of his presence by Donghyuck’s side, but, after the week he’d had, it felt like clear blue sky after rainfall. He leaned back into it, trying to push everything else aside in his mind for now, and let Mark’s touch ground him in the here and now.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>An hour later, in the safety of his English class on the opposite side of the school from the cafeteria, Donghyuck fished his phone out of his pocket and sent a quick message to his group chat with Renjun and Jaemin. He wasn't expecting an immediate response, so the device was already sliding back into his breast pocket when it vibrated loud enough to have the teacher squinting at him from across the room. He pulled it back out and peered down at his question.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Did the old me like stirring drama in public? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>He had to know, to confirm his growing suspicions.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Yes. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Jaemin’s answer was a single word affirmation, blunt and expected, but Renjun’s message below it gave him pause.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> The old you wouldn’t have walked away. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>He’d known that Renjun had noticed, had witnessed at least part of the altercation between him and Hyojin in the middle of the cafeteria, but the boy had clearly seen more than Donghyuck had realised. He read the message again, phone cradled between his thighs beneath the desk, before the device vibrated again.</p><p> </p><p> <em> Do you think she knows? </em></p><p> </p><p>That was the billion won question, wasn't it? He’d made a mistake, one he hadn't even known he was making, because he wasn't the person she knew anymore. She had to suspect something, but he had no way of knowing how much she knew. <em> He </em> barely knew the girl but, clearly, she had once known Lee Donghyuck very well. When Yang Hyojin was concerned, there was a large blank space in his mind, and that gap scared him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I don’t know. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>The two days that followed ended up being better for Donghyuck—and worse.</p><p> </p><p>Better because he hadn’t been ambushed by any more former friends, wanting things from him that he didn’t know how to give. Better because he’d finally confessed everything to Renjun and Jaemin—and, by process of osmosis, Jeno—and they’d agreed to help him to figure out whatever was going on between him and Mark. And him and Hyojin. And him, Chenle and Jisung...</p><p> </p><p>The last of those action items brought him neatly, almost clinically onto the worse. Neither of the freshmen had brought up the incident since, pointedly skirting around the subject whenever anyone strayed too close to it in conversation, but Donghyuck wasn't stupid. He couldn't exactly miss the way Chenle bit his bottom lip to keep from speaking out whenever he was in the room, or the way that the gleam in Jisung’s eyes seemed to dim a little in his presence.</p><p> </p><p>It was only a matter of time, he knew, before someone cracked. He half expected it to be himself, given the constant tension pressing down on his shoulders whenever he forgot to avoid Yukhei’s eye, or smiled a bit too wide at something Chenle was saying before remembering that the younger boy was disappointed in him. It was only a matter of time before the tentative peace fractured, and he didn't know if he was ready for the fallout.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyuck?” Jaemin poked Donghyuck in the arm. “Want one?”</p><p> </p><p>Glancing up from where he’d been intently inspecting his fingernails, he accepted the piece of candy his friend held out to him. Letting it sit in his palm, he stared at the smooth chocolate coating for several seconds too long, before popping it into his mouth. It was good, sweet and potently sugary, just like Jaemin liked, but Donghyuck found he couldn't enjoy it.</p><p> </p><p>The two seats at the far end of the lunch table, now permanently reserved for the youngest of their group, were still empty. He didn't know where Chenle and Jisung were, since lunch had started over fifteen minutes ago, but he already wasn't looking forward to the way the mood would shift when they arrived. Everyone knew he was keeping things from them—even Yukhei had picked up on the vibes, despite being just as in the dark—but it wasn't their place to speak up. He held all the cards here, and they could only wait for him to take his turn.</p><p> </p><p>“Do they have an extra-curr—?” Renjun started to ask, speaking the question on everyone’s mind, but he broke off as a familiar figure hurried in through the double doors. A half-second later, a second, shorter figure joined the first, both of them making a beeline for their table. “Oh. Never mind.”</p><p> </p><p>To Donghyuck’s surprise, the two freshmen didn't immediately claim their usual seats when they arrived at the table. Jisung grudgingly accepted the side hug Jaemin pulled him into, bending his knees a little to allow the seated boy to squeeze him tightly around the waist, but then he straightened back up to his full height.</p><p> </p><p>“Everything okay?” Mark asked, frowning up at the pair over his sandwich. He licked a spot of sauce off his thumb distractedly, Donghyuck quickly looking away from the absent gesture before Mark could catch him staring, and Renjun nodded in agreement from beside Jeno.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah. What’s wrong?”</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing,” Chenle insisted, even though his grim facial expression was completely at odds with his words. He fell silent for a moment, glancing over at Jisung for moral support, but then cleared his throat. “I—we wanted to show you something.”</p><p> </p><p>“Who?” Jaemin was immediately curious, placing his half-empty candy packet carefully back down onto the table before kicking his legs over the bench, swivelling in his seat to give the two freshmen his full attention. Donghyuck looked up from his hands again, taking in the tense set of Chenle’s jaw and the way Jisung’s fingers flexed nervously around the strap of his backpack.</p><p> </p><p>“All of you.” Chenle hesitated again and then deliberately met Donghyuck’s eye, although it clearly pained him to do so. “Please.”</p><p> </p><p>Jaemin didn't take any more convincing, pushing up from his seat smoothly and quickly starting to sweep his empty food wrappers into a pile at the end of the table. Renjun followed suit, helping him to transfer them into a bin nearby, a few seconds before Jeno registered that his boyfriends were on the move and nearly tripped over his own feet in his eagerness to help.</p><p> </p><p>It would have been adorable, if Donghyuck didn't have a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach, but then Mark was moving too, Yukhei in hot pursuit. Soon enough, he was the only person still seated at the table, seven sets of eyes watching him expectantly as they slung belongings over shoulders. He’d finished his food several minutes ago, eating quickly to distract himself from the fact that Mark had oh-so-casually tangled their ankles together under the table while talking, so he had no excuse.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay,” he said, nodding at Chenle. He almost took it all back, at the flash of desperate hope that flared to life in the younger boy’s eyes, but then Mark was handing him his bag and they were all following Jisung out of the cafeteria in single file like baby ducks.</p><p> </p><p>Their destination turned out to be a science classroom on the second floor. Donghyuck hadn’t ever been inside this particular room, since he had yet to take Chemistry this year, but it had a similar layout to the biology lab down the hall. Stepping inside, the older boys were instructed to take a seat in the first few rows, facing a projector screen currently lit up in neon blue.</p><p> </p><p>“Uh…” Now that they were all seated, watching him intently, Chenle looked significantly less confident than he had in the cafeteria, but he hurried over to the teacher’s computer set against the window nearest the front and tapped a button on the keyboard.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Five Reasons Why You Should Trust Us (A PowerPoint by LeLe and Sungie) </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck’s mouth dropped open in shock and he squinted against the harsh light of the projected screen, as though the text emblazoned on the newly multi-coloured background would change if he willed it hard enough. Unsurprisingly, it did not, and so he was forced to read the words a second time.</p><p> </p><p>“What is all this?” he asked breathlessly. Chenle flushed, and even Jisung had the presence of mind to look mildly chagrined, but neither made any move to hide what was on screen. Chenle tapped the keyboard again and a new slide popped up, this one containing more text in a large decorative font that Donghyuck struggled to read.</p><p> </p><p>“This is exactly what it looks like,” Chenle told the room shakily. His hands were trembling too, Donghyuck noticed, as though this was taking every ounce of courage he had inside him. That broke his heart a little, so he tried to relax his face into an encouraging smile. Whatever this was, it clearly meant a lot to them. “We’re staging an intervention.”</p><p> </p><p>Oh. This was a new development.</p><p> </p><p>“I know we’re younger than you guys,” Jisung continued, taking over, “but we can handle whatever it is you’re all keeping from us. We already know part of it anyway, because LeLe heard Donghyuck-hyung talking to Dejun-hyung and Kunhang-hyung about it last week. We just want to prove that we can be trusted.”</p><p> </p><p>“Exactly,” Chenle agreed, nodding his head so fast that Donghyuck thought it might detach itself at the neck. “We prepared a presentation and everything. At least hear us out before you say no.”</p><p> </p><p>For a long moment, the room fell silent. Chenle and Jisung were watching them all hesitantly, as though expecting one of them to shut them down instantaneously. Renjun, Jaemin and Mark immediately turned their attention onto Donghyuck as a matter of habit, Jeno only delayed in his reaction for a few seconds because he’d apparently dropped his phone onto the floor in surprise at Jisung’s words.</p><p> </p><p>“Why do I get the feeling that I shouldn’t be here?” Yukhei murmured, slowly taking in the situation playing out around him. He frowned at Donghyuck, following Mark’s eye line, but then a light bulb seemed to go off over his head. “Wait. Is this about your ‘<em> Invasion of the Body Snatchers </em>’ thing? I know I’m not supposed to know anything about that, but—”</p><p> </p><p>“Wait, you know?” Jeno asked, tearing his gaze from Donghyuck’s bewildered expression to meet Yukhei’s gaze. “Since when?”</p><p> </p><p>“You know <em> what </em>, exactly?” Donghyuck asked, cutting off anything else Jeno might have been about to say. Yukhei blinked blankly at him for a moment, then grinned like he didn't have a care in the world.</p><p> </p><p>“About you being, you know…” He made a vague gesture in the air with his index fingers, crossing them over each other like he was swapping something. “You and the other Donghyuck, uh—” He spared Chenle and Jisung a nervous glance, seeming to suddenly realise that they had no idea what he was talking about, and lowered his voice to a stage whisper. “—swapped bodies.”</p><p> </p><p>“How?” Donghyuck asked incredulously, at the same time that Chenle elbowed Jisung in the ribs and hissed, “I told you that’s what I heard him say.”</p><p> </p><p>Ignoring that bombshell for the time being, Donghyuck stared Yukhei down until he hunched over the lab bench in front of him and groaned in defeat. “Jungwoo told me,” he admitted. “I know he shouldn’t have, but Dongyoung-hyung was talking about it with Taeyong-hyung when I was at the house one day, and…” He broke off, sucking in a lungful of air. “Just, please don’t be mad at him. It’s my fault for asking.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s—” Yukhei had just thrown so much information at him that Donghyuck didn't even know where to begin. If he was honest, he wasn't entirely surprised that Dongyoung had told Taeyong, although he was a little hurt that Dongyoung hadn't thought to mention it to him. He supposed, therefore, it wasn't really such a huge logical leap for Jungwoo to have talked to Yukhei about it, especially if he’d been present at an inopportune moment. “I’m not mad.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re not?”</p><p> </p><p>He really wasn't, he realised as he watched Yukhei’s shoulders slump in relief. In fact, having one more person that he didn't need to tell was something of a boon, even if part of him panicked at the idea of no longer being in full control of his secrets. Yukhei knew the truth and he hadn't yet run away in fear or disgust. Donghyuck hoped that meant he believed him, and accepted him regardless.</p><p> </p><p>“How long have you known?” The older boy sat up, a small smile tugging at his lips now that he was fairly confident that Donghyuck wasn't about to get angry at him or his boyfriend, and Donghyuck couldn't help but return it tentatively.</p><p> </p><p>“Only about a month.”</p><p> </p><p>“A <em> month </em>?!” Jeno blurted, eyebrows shooting up towards his hairline. “You managed to keep your mouth shut for a whole month?” Surprise warred with dumbstruck awe in Jeno’s expression and Yukhei chuckled. “How?”</p><p> </p><p>“Woo threatened me. He said that we couldn’t have se—”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay.” Mark pushed up out of his seat and cut Yukhei off mid-sentence, waving a hand as if he could erase the other boy’s words with each jerky hand motion. “Not to derail what I’m sure is a truly fascinating explanation, Xuxi, but we still have a bit of a situation to deal with.”</p><p> </p><p>“Please, hyung,” Chenle said softly, as if on cue, beseeching eyes boring inside Donghyuck’s skull as he turned to face the front of the room again. “I know you don’t trust us yet, but you will after you watch the rest of the—”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s not true.” As Mark sank back into his seat, Donghyuck shook his head vehemently. “I <em> do </em> trust you two. In fact, I would trust both of you with my life.”</p><p> </p><p>“Then why…?”</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck sighed, scrubbing his fingers over his face and then pushing them forcefully through his hair. He sighed again, just because it gave him a moment to think, and then leant forward onto his forearms on the lab bench. “Because I was afraid.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hyung…”</p><p> </p><p>“I was scared to tell you both the truth, because I was afraid to lose you,” he continued, ignoring the way Chenle blinked back something that looked suspiciously like tears and reached blindly for Jisung’s hand. “This isn’t as simple as a high school rumour, or a relationship gone wrong. This will change the way you see me forever, and I don’t know if I can cope with you looking at me like—”</p><p> </p><p>“Like what?” This time it was Jisung who spoke, sounding so small and broken that Donghyuck wanted to pull him into his arms and never let go. His expression was guarded, truly distrustful for the first time since he’d met the Jisung of this reality, and that broke Donghyuck’s heart.</p><p> </p><p> “Like you’re looking at me right now.” His voice was barely a whisper, but he knew they both heard him from the way Chenle’s head snapped up and his eyes met Donghyuck’s. Suddenly, it struck him that he was risking pushing them away just as much with his silence as he might by simply being honest. Either way, he might ultimately lose them, but they deserved the right to make an informed choice. “Okay.”</p><p> </p><p>“What?” Jisung frowned, but Chenle’s innocent, hopeful expression would be imprinted in Donghyuck’s memory for years to come. He just hoped he was making the right decision.</p><p> </p><p>“I said okay. You were right.” Chenle’s eyes widened, the freshman glancing back at the garishly decorated slide of the presentation flickering stoically on the board behind him. Donghyuck let out a choked laugh. “No, this is not because of the presentation, although I do appreciate the effort. This is just something I should have told you both a long time ago.”</p><p> </p><p>After that, the actual reveal was almost easy. It was as if, once he’d actually made his mind up, Donghyuck’s mouth simply worked on autopilot to make it happen. He’d certainly had plenty of practice at this by now, he thought wryly, as he detailed the entire ugly truth for Jisung and Chenle to hear. He made sure to glance over at Yukhei every once in a while, to check he was still following, but the majority of his attention was focused on their youngest.</p><p> </p><p>At some point, the two maknaes migrated towards the rows of desks, Chenle perched on the edge of Mark’s lab bench and Jisung wedged into the chair with Jaemin in a way that defied the laws of physics. They both listened intently, hanging on his every word. Donghyuck couldn't read Jisung’s face at all, a careful mask of neutrality shielding his thoughts as he clung to Jaemin, but Chenle’s emotions ran riot across his face in glorious, terrifying high definition.</p><p> </p><p>He wasn’t sure which he liked less.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s about it,” he finished lamely, tapping a finger distractedly on the tabletop in front of him as he examined Chenle’s face once more. The younger boy had his lower lip tucked between his teeth, worrying it something fierce, and Donghyuck stubbornly quelled the urge to walk over and tug it free. “Do you—do you have any questions?”</p><p> </p><p>“I—” Chenle thought hard for a moment, brows pinched together in concentration, but then he shook his head. “No. Not really. I wasn’t right about everything, but it all makes sense now.”</p><p> </p><p>“Jisungie?” The room at large turned its attention onto the youngest boy, whose eyes widened at the sudden onslaught of eyes on him.</p><p> </p><p>“What?”</p><p> </p><p>“Do you have any questions? Comments?”</p><p> </p><p>“I—” It was Jisung’s turn to pause now, examining the wood grain of the tabletop beneath his fingers as he pondered his answer. “I thought you were going to tell us you were gay.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh.” In typical Jisung fashion, Donghyuck was completely taken aback by the boy’s words, biting back a snort of surprised laughter. “Wow!”</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>“No, no, it’s fine,” he insisted, as he watched Jisung turn beet red under his gaze. “You’re not wrong about that either, although I haven’t really tried to hide it from anyone in this room.”</p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck did his best not glance over at Mark as he spoke, despite every fibre of his being screaming at him to do just that, so he missed the way Mark’s dark eyes lit up at his words. Instead, he kept his gaze fixed unswervingly on Jisung, clenching his fists in his lap to ground himself. He wanted to know what Mark thought—desperately wanted Mark to feel a very specific way about him as a result—but he also knew that it wasn't healthy to dwell on that desire.</p><p> </p><p>Despite Mark falling effortlessly into the role of his best friend once more—current unresolved tensions aside—he knew that being in a different reality didn't change anything between them. They were friends. Best friends, and nothing more, no matter what corner of the universe he found himself in. Mark had made that crystal clear with his actions in both, even if they’d never discussed it directly, and Donghyuck would have to make peace with it all over again here eventually.</p><p> </p><p>“What about the other thing?” Donghyuck asked, still eyeing Jisung cautiously. He hadn't missed the way Jisung was still frowning, gaze darting from Donghyuck to Chenle and back so fast it was hard to keep track. “I find it hard to believe neither of you has anything to say about any of it.”</p><p> </p><p>Jisung’s frown deepened, furrowing his brows until it almost looked painful. He leant into Jaemin a little more, the older boy pulling him closer into his side, and then let out a breath he’d been holding in. All of a sudden, Donghyuck could see the wheels turning inside Jisung’s head, all his thoughts laid bare to public perusal as the facade fell away. As such, he knew what was coming before Jisung opened his mouth, although he sorely wished he didn't.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t believe you,” Jisung told him bluntly. He glanced over at Chenle once more, then turned his attention back to Donghyuck resolutely. “I’m sorry, hyung. I know LeLe does, but I just can’t. It’s—it’s not possible.”</p><p> </p><p>“I understand.” Donghyuck would be lying if he said he wasn't disappointed, but he wasn't particularly surprised. He’d had a run of impossibly good fortune with the members he’d told so far, with only Jeno and Dongyoung proving to be anything more than a mild challenge to convince. It had only been a matter of time before he stumbled upon someone a little less easy to convince.</p><p> </p><p>Jisung had always been one of the resident sceptics in Dream, the one least likely to believe something just because someone told him it was true. Donghyuck would almost have been disappointed if he’d capitulated so easily, although this certainly presented a problem he wasn't sure how best to solve. For now, though, there was only one question on his lips.</p><p> </p><p>“Does this change things between us, Sungie?” It couldn't not—realistically, he knew that—but he still had to ask. He couldn't bear to watch his youngest brother completely withdraw from him, even though he knew that some wariness was inevitable. He didn't need Jisung to believe him, not yet, but he needed him to not run. He needed to know there was still a chance to get through to him.</p><p> </p><p>“I—” Donghyuck’s face crumpled at the raw uncertainty in Jisung’s eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Jisung, please.”</p><p> </p><p>“I love you, hyung.” Jisung blinked, forcing the hesitation away with what looked like Herculean effort. “That’s all that matters. I still think you’re all crazy to believe this, and I don’t know what I’m going to do about that yet, but you’re my friends. That won’t change.”</p><p> </p><p>Jisung took another deep, shaky breath and pushed up from his perch next to Jaemin, taking a hesitant step towards Donghyuck. The older boy met him halfway, kicking out the seat from behind him in a heartbeat and barrelling into Jisung with enough force to rock him backwards on his heels. Jisung buried his face into Donghyuck’s blazer, body trembling as he let himself be embraced so tightly it had to be suffocating, but Donghyuck couldn't help it.</p><p> </p><p>He was afraid, if he let go, that his youngest brother might change his mind and leave—might decide that he wasn’t worth the effort, despite his words to the contrary—so Donghyuck resolved to simply never let him go. He could hug Jisung forever if he had to, he thought soberly. He’d happily hold tight until the heat death of the universe was upon them, if that meant Jisung would stay.</p><p> </p><p>“Ahem.” A familiar female voice echoed through the room from somewhere over Donghyuck’s shoulder, a polite cough that was high and breathy. He tensed, not wanting to acknowledge her presence, but Jisung was already pulling away. Reluctantly, he turned to see Yang Hyojin propped up against the door frame, watching him with thinly veiled interest. “Not to interrupt this beautiful moment, but I need to borrow Donghyuck-ssi for a moment.”</p><p> </p><p>“I told you the other day, but lunch is really not a good time,” he said dismissively, starting to turn back towards Jisung again, but then he hesitated as an awful thought flitted across his mind. “Wait, how long have you been standing there?”</p><p> </p><p>She grinned then, baring her teeth in a way that reminded him of an apex predator.</p><p> </p><p>“Long enough.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>In the first draft, this chapter ended very differently. However, Jisung stubbornly refused to cooperate, so I deviated a little from my original planning document to allow him to expand his personal story arc a little bit (with some encouragement from a sneaky Twitter poll). I'm really happy with the new additions, and I hope you'll all agree with me once we get there.</p><p>Also, we crossed 75k views this week. While I don't think putting stock in statistics is healthy for any writer, and I'm well aware that most of those views come from this fic having a huge number of chapters at this point, I am nonetheless hugely grateful for every single one of you who has made it this far and who continues to read and support my not-so-little passion project. Thank you, sincerely, from the very bottom of my heart! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0054"><h2>54. Chapter 54</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi. I'm sorry it's been so long since I last updated this fic. If you follow me on Twitter, you may have seen that the last couple of months have been quite difficult for me, and then I got a fun bout of writer's block after that was all said and done. Anyway, if you're here to read this, thank you for coming back. I really missed this fic while I was gone, and I'm glad to finally have SPitN Donghyuck chatting up a storm in my head again.</p>
<p>--</p>
<p>Chapter Warning: Hyuck and Hyojin hash out a lot of shit in this one. Some of it is pretty awful on alt-Hyuck's part (and we'll get to his side of it all in the other fic eventually), but just a warning that some of it is very much not great. Gaslighting, emotional abuse and mentions of outing are the main triggers, I think, if you're particularly sensitive to any of those. If you are, I'd recommend skipping this chapter entirely. You won't lose much plot, and I'm happy to note any important points in the next chapter notes, if anyone requests it. Oh, and if there's anything else you think I need to add a warning for here, let me know!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> “Long enough…” </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The mirrored screen of Hyojin’s phone glinted ominously as she shifted her weight from one foot to the other, stepping away from the door frame as her fingers played absently with the device in her hands. It didn't really look like she had been using it—he got the impression that it was out more for dramatic effect than anything else—but the fact that she could have entered the room and listened in, without any one of them noticing her, made Donghyuck’s stomach clench unpleasantly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m not going to be able to convince you to just walk away, am I?” As he spoke, Donghyuck could feel at least one body stepping up behind him, like they might be able to protect him from Hyojin’s answer, but he ignored them and took a decisive step towards her. The resolute set of her jaw had already answered his question well enough, and he knew that his time was up. This was happening right now, whether he liked it or not.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hyojin didn't even bother to offer him a verbal response, turning on her heel and stalking from the lab without a second glance. He sighed, taking another step towards the door, and then turned back to see that Jeno and Renjun now flanked him on either side. Jeno looked ready to rip Hyojin’s head clean off, hands clenched into tight fists at his sides, while the icy expression gracing Renjun’s face promised that no one would ever find the body. Mark wasn't far behind them, concern and anger clouding his features, but Donghyuck forced himself not to focus on any of that at the moment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I need to go talk to her,” he announced to the room softly, his voice easily carrying over the uneasy silence. He hoped that it wouldn't betray the nervousness he could feel building in his gut, as his mind cycled impossibly quickly through all the ways this impending confrontation could go horribly, miserably wrong for all of them. Renjun opened his mouth to say something, fury glinting dangerously in his eyes, but Donghyuck cut him off before he could speak. “I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s not <em> you </em> that I’m worried about,” Renjun spat out, brows knitting together as he frowned at the newly vacated entryway. “Well it <em> is </em>, obviously, but not just you.” He tore his eyes away from the door and glanced up at Donghyuck, squarely meeting his eye. “Say the word, and I’ll make her regret her entire existence.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And I’ll help!” Jeno agreed, sounding so enthusiastic that it temporarily distracted him from what was waiting out in the hall.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I—” Choking out a startled laugh, caught completely off guard by his friends’ offer, he almost forgot what he’d started to say. It took him a second to recover, Renjun’s lips curling up into a proud smirk as he watched on, but then Donghyuck shook his head. “I love you both for that, I really do, but I think I’ll pass this time.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You sure?” It was Jisung who spoke this time, which seemed to catch everyone off guard. He didn't look half as angry as Renjun or as intimidating as Jeno, which wasn't a surprise given the stark contrasts between the three of them, but his eyes darted back and forth between Donghyuck’s face and the door to the classroom as he spoke.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m sure.” Donghyuck reached out to ruffle Jisung’s hair affectionately, then dropped his hand resolutely back to his side. He forced an easy smile onto his lips, despite the ill-ease still churning his stomach sickeningly, and made eye contact with each of the seven boys present, one by one. “I’ll be back in a few minutes, don’t you worry. This hopefully won’t take long.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We’ll be right here, waiting for you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Donghyuck was already walking away as Mark spoke, and he forced himself not to look back. If anyone could convince him to stay, it was Mark, so he stoically ignored the urge to turn tail and hide behind his friends, crossing the short distance to the open door and stepping out into the hallway.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hyojin was waiting for him, arms crossed over her chest as she leaned against the wall, tapping her fingernails impatiently against the exposed skin of her forearms. She actually had the gall to look mildly surprised when he emerged, one brow quirking a little as she gave him a brief once-over, but she didn't speak. Instead, she simply turned and continued to walk away, leaving Donghyuck to follow after her like a fool.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Three classrooms down, she paused, peering in through the glass pane in the door as though checking that it was empty. It must have been—which shouldn't be a surprise, given that it was lunchtime and the majority of the student body were either holed up in the cafeteria or outside on the sports fields—because she elbowed it open quickly and stepped inside.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Donghyuck followed, hovering awkwardly by the door as she paced over to the wall of windows on the opposite side of the room. He briefly considered taking a seat, eyeing a desk in the second row that looked almost identical to the one he’d just vacated in the lab down the hall, but decided against it. If this went south, the most primitive part of his brain didn't want to give her any opportunity to block his escape route.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So…” he began, disappointing himself with how weak and fearful his voice sounded to his own ears. He knew that Hyojin would have detected the same weakness he had—and he fully expected her to exploit it ruthlessly too—but he couldn't help it. He was a successful recording artist, one who had performed to crowds of thousands all over the world, but, right now in this room, facing down a teenage girl on a power trip, he was utterly defenceless.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So,” she echoed. It wasn’t a question, so he stayed silent until she deigned to turn and face him. Her silhouette was backlit by the sunlight streaming in through the large windows behind her, casting an imposing shadow onto the floor between them, but Donghyuck forced himself not to give the dark, looming shape a second glance as she advanced on him. “How dare you?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I—what?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You heard me!” Her eyes sparked dangerously as she took yet another step towards him. “How dare you? How dare you humiliate me like this? I have been your best friend since middle school. I’ve put up with so much shit from you over the years, and this is how you repay me? By abandoning me for your shiny new boyfriends, just because they were suddenly more exciting?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I—” A thousand responses, retorts and excuses spiralled through Donghyuck’s mind like a cyclone, each one filled with more vitriol than the last, but they all died on his tongue as he finally registered the look on Hyojin’s face. She looked devastated, he realised, even as her cheeks flushed from her exertions and her lips pressed together tightly like she was fighting back more venomous words. “I didn't…”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Save it,” she snapped, almost screaming now as she stepped right up into his personal space. Her knuckles were white and strained around the phone she still clutched in one hand, and her whole body trembled with barely restrained fury as she stared at him. “You know what you did. You know exactly what you did, and I hate you for it. Do you hear me, Lee Donghyuck? I hate you!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her free hand lifted into the air, so fast that he almost missed the movement, and he instinctually flinched away from a strike that never came. As quickly as she had moved, Hyojin froze, eyes widening as she stared in horror at her own fingers. It was as though she hadn’t made the conscious decision to move, he thought, her actions shocking her as much as they had shocked Donghyuck.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I—Fuck, I’m sorry.” Her hand dropped heavily to her side and she sank down onto the nearest desk with a dull thud, as her knees gave out under her. “I didn't mean to...I would never.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s okay.” Despite his fight or flight response telling him to stay standing, Donghyuck pulled a chair out from under the desk behind him and folded himself into it. Back on Hyojin’s eye level again, he watched her carefully as she buried her face into her hands and began to sob loudly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her shoulders shook with each pained sounding breath, and he had the urge to reach over and place a hand on her arm in comfort, but he restrained himself. This was, after all, the same girl who had just screamed in his face and then raised her hand against him. He didn't believe that she would have intentionally hurt him, but there was definitely a lot of rage and anger inside her that was looking for an excuse to break forth.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Anger that was directly squarely in his direction.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What exactly is going on here, Hyojin-ah?” he asked after a few minutes, once her tears appeared to have subsided enough for her to speak. “You say you hate me for what I did, but I genuinely don’t know what it is that I’ve done. Maybe if we talk about it, we can clear things up between us?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>This was a huge risk, he knew. This girl had, from everything he’d been told, known the other Donghyuck as well as just about anyone, before all of this happened to them. What he had gleaned so far hadn’t exactly endeared him to this reality’s Lee Donghyuck, so it was entirely possible that the boy had done something truly awful to Yang Hyojin, something to make her hate him this much.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>If that was true, and he prayed to any and all available deities that it was not, he was risking exposing all of their demons in one fell swoop, but he didn't see that he had a choice. He might be posing as Lee Donghyuck to most of this town, walking in his shoes and living his life, but he had no idea who the boy behind the veneer truly was. Whoever Hyojin had known, whoever he had once been, he needed to know the truth—for better or for worse.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“How could you not know?” Hyojin’s words came out wet and broken, as she lifted her head to peer at him in confusion. “Did you think I wouldn’t notice that you abandoned me this year, after everything we went through last summer? Did you think that you could move on, leaving me in the past, and your secrets would stay buried?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I—” He started to speak, to ask what secrets she was referring to, but Hyojin was clearly not finished. She bulldozed on, sniffling loudly as another tear broke free from her damp lashes and landed in her lap.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I thought that was it, you know?” she said mournfully. “I knew you were scared of people finding out, of the rest of the world knowing the truth, so I thought you’d just pushed me away out of fear. I was hurt, of course I was. I just wanted you to man up and tell me the truth to my face, but then today…”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She broke off, fixing him with a look that was so lost that Donghyuck instinctually leant back into his chair to escape its gravitational pull. “I heard you,” she continued. “I heard you talking to your friends just now, and I realised that’s not it. It was never about that at all.” She dropped her gaze to the floor, staring down at her toes to avoid meeting his eye. “It was because of me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You?” Donghyuck had a sneaking suspicion he knew exactly what secret the other Donghyuck had been battling with—and, sadly, exactly why he would have wanted to keep it buried—but he was confused by the last part of Hyojin’s heartfelt speech.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s the only thing that makes sense.” Nodding, as though agreeing with her own assessment of the situation, she explained. “I thought you didn't want anyone knowing, and I respected that. Even after you found out I knew, I thought we would be okay. I was still your best friend, even if you started pushing me away after that. Ignoring my calls, getting drunk more often than you were sober; I told myself that you were just lashing out to protect yourself, but I knew we’d work it out in time, like we always do.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Imagine, then, how stupid I felt when I heard you talking about it with your new friends today, without a care in the world. <em> ‘I haven’t really tried to hide it from anyone in this room,’ </em> ” she intoned bitterly, echoing his own words back at him. His heart dropped into his stomach and he grimaced, even as she completely ignored him. “If you <em> really </em> don’t care anymore, maybe I should just tell the whole school your little secret. Maybe I should just stand up at lunch tomorrow and announce—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That I’m gay,” Donghyuck finished for her, even though he really didn't need to. Suddenly, everything made so much more sense to him, including exactly how much he’d fucked up when it came to the distraught girl in front of him. No wonder she was so angry, he thought to himself sadly. He’d completely blindsided her, no matter how ignorant he’d been about the whole thing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You know,” she said quietly, meeting his eye squarely for the first time since they’d sat down, “I think that’s the first time you’ve ever said those words out loud.” She glanced towards the closed classroom door, appearing to reassess her statement, and then added, “At least, to me. You always refused to acknowledge it, afraid it would ruin your precious reputation if anyone overheard you, but I guess it’s different with <em> them </em>.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hyojin-ah…” Donghyuck could only imagine how hurt she must be right now, especially since she had no idea that things were astronomically different when it came to the seven boys waiting patiently for him three doors down. “I—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Maybe I should,” she mused, an edge of determination and chaotic resolve returning to her tone as she spoke. “Maybe I should just show everyone the real you. If they knew the truth, there wouldn’t be any secrets between us anymore. We could go back to how things were, before last summer. I could get my best friend back.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What do you mean, <em> ‘show’ </em> them?” Donghyuck glanced down at the phone Hyojin still cradled in her lap. Panic rose up in his chest, and he struggled to tamp it down enough to continue. “Did you film us earlier?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The selfish part of him didn't care that much about the other Donghyuck’s secret, he realised with a sucker punch of guilt to his gut. There would inevitably be some backlash from a revelation of that magnitude, for sure, but his NCT family back home all knew he was gay—had known it ever since he was old enough to ask for advice from his older members—and he’d never had to hide it from those he cared about.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>That mindset had translated over to this reality with him, even as he knew he needed to respect the boundaries of the boy he’d replaced, and it wasn't <em> him </em> that had put these emotional walls up between himself and Hyojin—between him and the rest of the world. He had his own secrets to hide, his own burdens to bear, and he knew that she would have unintentionally captured some of that if she’d filmed them. Perhaps even all of it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And this Donghyuck, right here and now, could not risk that getting out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well—” Hyojin glanced down at the phone in her lap, realising his eyes were on it and no longer on her. She frowned, and Donghyuck could almost see the cogs turning inside her head as she figured out what she was going to say. She could easily lie about it and he would be none the wiser, he knew. She held all the power in this scenario, held it right there in her hands, and he’d have no way to prove it without forcibly taking the device from her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Did you?!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why do you care? I don’t need it either way. If I wanted them to, people would believe me regardless. Video evidence or not, I could ruin your entire life in a single afternoon. Let you see what it feels like for a chance, to have someone betray you like you’re nothing!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Would you?” His voice cracked painfully as he spoke and her head snapped up, cheeks blotchy and puffy from all the tears she’d shed. “Would you really do that?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He saw the exact moment she made her choice, shoulders slumping as she shook her head. “No.” She sighed and lifted the phone from her lap, holding it out for him to take. He waved it away, the truth of her words unmistakable in her eyes. “I didn’t film anything. I wouldn’t. Despite everything that’s happened between us, I could never do that to you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As she began to weep softly again, Donghyuck couldn't help but feel incredibly sorry for Yang Hyojin, despite everything. Sorry for both her and for the boy who had so obviously hurt her more than words could express, in a past he mercifully hadn’t had to suffer through. He could see her actions now for what they were, a desperate, futile attempt to claw back control in a friendship that had been doomed to fall apart, and he wished that he could do more to fix things between them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why, what?” She sounded baffled by his question, but he had to know.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“He—I don’t deserve that kind of loyalty. Not after how I’ve treated you.” He spoke slowly, picking his words carefully. He couldn't know the whole truth of why the other Donghyuck had done what he’d done, but he knew enough to know that she had protected his secret, even after he’d seemingly abandoned her for what—to her, at least—would have seemed like a whole new group of friends. “Why haven’t you walked away?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You know why.” She examined his face thoughtfully for a moment, then glanced towards the doorway again. “But then again, maybe you don’t. I thought that was a joke at first, a cruel prank you were playing on the two freshm…” She paused, biting her lip as she caught Donghyuck’s gaze again. “It would have been just like you to screw with their emotions like that.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Like what?” He didn't really want to ask, but he suspected she needed to say it aloud. It was obvious she already knew the truth anyway. He wouldn't begrudge her the chance to talk it through now, if that’s what she needed. He—both versions of himself—owed her at least that much.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh God, you really don’t know!” She sucked in an awed, shuddering breath, closing her eyes as if to centre herself, and then words started to flow like a torrent from her lips. “I can’t believe I’m saying this to your face, but then I guess it’s not really you, is it? You—I mean, <em> my </em> you knew before I did. I never had to tell him. He just used it against me, over and over, because it was easy and he knew I couldn't…I wouldn’t...”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Donghyuck almost wanted to stop her in her tracks, sensing that she was about to start crying again, but she was too fast for him. It was as though, now she knew that she wasn't speaking to the Lee Donghyuck she knew—just to someone who looked an awful lot like him—she couldn't hold it back.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m in love with you,” she told him bluntly. At that, her sudden burst of bravado deflated like a leaky helium balloon, like getting those five words out had cost her a lot more than just oxygen, but she soldiered on. “Well, not with you, but...yeah, with you, I guess. Another you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Donghyuck’s eyes widened in surprise, not in a million years expecting that—although perhaps, in hindsight, he should have—but she ignored him and dropped her gaze to her lap again. “I’ve been in love with you since before I knew what that word meant. And I never wanted you to know, because I knew you didn't feel the same way about me.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I don’t know how you found out, and I probably never will. Perhaps you always knew; perhaps you didn't. It doesn’t matter. I was hopelessly in love with someone who would never—<em> could </em> never love me back. I know that now, but I was so lost on you that I let you…” She broke off and Donghyuck didn't think he’d ever felt such fear before in his life.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What did I do?” She didn't answer for a long moment, the silence stretching agonisingly between them, and he leant forward. Hesitantly, he placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, heart plunging further towards the floor as she leant into his touch like she couldn't stop herself. “Hyojin, what did I do to you?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You used me.” He gasped in horror even as she continued, her tone regaining a hint of the fire from earlier. “You knew exactly how I felt, and you didn't care. You only cared about how you could use it to manipulate me. Your loyal sycophant under the guise of friendship, always following a half step behind you, never questioning anything you did or said.” Another fat tear rolled down one cheek, and Hyojin angrily swiped it away with a shaking hand. “And I let you do it. Because I loved you. Even after everything, I still—I still love him, Hyuck-ah.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m so sorry.” Slowly, giving her ample opportunity to stop him if she wished, Donghyuck stood from his seat and moved closer. “Hyojin-ah, I am so sorry for everything. I can’t take it back, because I’m not...I’m not him, but I—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She looked up at him as he moved, the last of her wholly understandable anger fading under his cautious gaze, and then Yang Hyojin pushed up off her desk to allow him to wrap her into a tight hug. She buried her face into his shirt, hiding under the lapel of his jacket, before going completely still.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He could still feel her heartbeat against his sternum, hammering out a rhythm not dissimilar to his own, but she otherwise did not move a muscle as they stood in companionable silence. For a few fleeting moments, left only to his tumultuous thoughts, he simply let her cling to him. It was the least he could do.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I just couldn't let go,” she muttered into his collarbone after a while, shifting so that she could tilt her head back to look up at him. “I’m sorry. I know I should have—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You don’t have anything to apologise for,” Donghyuck told her firmly, shaking his head as he sensed her starting to protest. He kept his eyes firmly fixed on the view outside the classroom, the glass slightly warping the buildings and greenery beyond as it glinted in the sunlight, because he wanted to give her the privacy and respect she deserved. “None of this is your fault. I may not have been responsible for most of it, and I can’t fathom why anyone would behave like that, but I let you down too.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You didn’t kno—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It doesn’t matter that I didn't know,” he insisted, finally stepping back out of their embrace so he could look her in the eyes again. “I was naive and selfish to assume that I could just step into someone else’s life without consequences. I was so wrapped up in myself, and in my own situation, that I didn't stop to think about the impact on those around me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You didn't know,” Hyojin repeated, with more power behind her words this time. “Hell, you didn’t even know I existed. You couldn't possibly have known what he was like, and I can see now that you’re absolutely nothing like him.” She flicked a stray strand of long, black hair over her shoulder, a small, tentative smile creeping onto her lips as she stared up at him. “You know, if he was here right now, he’d be so jealous of you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“He would?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sickeningly,” Hyojin agreed, nodding as her smile grew that little bit wider. “You’re everything he’s not, and he would hate that about you almost as much as he envied you for it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“He really sounds awful.” Donghyuck hoped she wouldn't take that the wrong way, given everything they’d just discussed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He knew all too well what it was like to be hopelessly in love with someone who didn't see him the same way, even if Mark was considerably less of a scumbag than the other Donghyuck was shaping up to be. He knew just how impossible it would have been for her to escape those feelings once they had solidified, even if she had fallen for someone who didn't deserve an iota of her devotion—or friendship, loyalty and everything else that came with it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I see that now too,” she admitted, sounding embarrassed. “I almost convinced myself it was normal. Even after I found out he was gay, I never gave up hope, because he wanted it that way. Because it made me easier to manipulate. It was a toxic relationship all around, no matter what I tried to convince myself. If you hadn’t shown up—” She hesitated again, thinking for a long moment. “I guess what I’m saying is, I’m glad I can see the truth for what it is, finally. I know I went about this all wrong, but I’m really glad we had this talk.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Me too.” Donghyuck spoke the truth, even as he recalled how uneasy he’d been less than a half-hour ago. It was hard to believe that so much had changed between the pair of them in such a short space of time. Hyojin seemed to have found some semblance of peace over her situation, and he had gained some invaluable insight into the other Donghyuck—distasteful and vile as he found the boy, the more he learned about him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Um. Donghyuck?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“About the other thing?” And there it was. He knew that he couldn't ignore it, now that she knew, but this was different from when his mom or his brothers had found out. Yang Hyojin was an entirely unknown entity, an unexpected addition to his steadily expanding circle of confidantes, and he wasn't sure yet what that might mean for everyone else caught in orbit around them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hyojin-ah, I know I can’t force you to keep it a secret,” he told her. “But it’s—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I won’t say anything.” She interrupted him quickly, placing the hand still clutching her phone over her heart. “I promise. I still don’t understand all of what’s going on—I arrived halfway through your conversation, and there were a <em> lot </em> of names I didn't know—but I know it’s not my story to tell. Just...is he gone forever?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The look on her face clearly told Donghyuck that she hadn't yet decided if that was a good thing or not, the conflict and indecision explicit in her eyes despite the column of shadow she was currently cast in. He couldn't blame her, honestly, knowing what he knew about the boy in question.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I don’t know,” he told her truthfully. “I’m hoping that, when I find a way to get back to where I came from, he’ll do the same, but I still have absolutely no idea how any of this works.” Her face fell and he couldn't help the sharp pang that twisted his insides at the sight. “I’m sorry, Hyojin. I wish that I did.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s okay.” She smiled at him again and, if this time it was slightly dimmer than the last, he didn't mention it. “Do you think that you could maybe tell me what you do know, sometime? You don’t have to, obviously, but I’d like to try to help, if I can.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Of course.” Again, it was the least he could do. She already knew too much to backtrack, so it wouldn't hurt to give her all the facts, now that she was in the know. It was her friend who had been forcibly removed from existence, after all, and she seemed genuine in her eagerness to help. For all he knew, an outside perspective might be useful. “Perhaps you could come to my home one day soon, and I’ll explain everything.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Will your friends be there?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Only if you want them to be.” He wasn't sure whether she would want to meet them, based on the fact that, mere minutes ago, she believed them to have stolen her best friend from her, but he wasn't going to hide them away. It was her choice. He resolved to always make it her choice, because Donghyuck was not in the business of manipulating friends, regardless of their feelings for or about him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I think I’d like to meet them,” she said thoughtfully. Tilting her head slightly, she stared at the back wall of the classroom like she could somehow see straight through it and into the other lab they had been in. She smiled. “They’re a good influence on you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“They are.” He agreed wholeheartedly with that statement. They were his family, and the best people he knew in any reality. “They really are.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Or maybe it’s you who’s the good influence.” She didn't meet his eye, but there was something insightful in her expression as she traced the edge of one of the wall posters with her gaze. “I heard what you said to them earlier, and I’ve seen what they’re like with you.” She reached out blindly to one side, patting the elbow closest to her. “You’re a good friend, Hyuck. I’d be lucky to have someone like you in my life.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You do.” He stepped around the desk between them and stopped directly in front of her. Holding out a hand, he turned on the most winning smile in his arsenal. “Hi. I’m Lee Donghyuck, but my friends sometimes call me Haechan. It’s nice to finally meet you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The blinding grin he received in return made his own smile grow, until it strained his cheeks, but he wasn't letting it fade for the world. Hyojin took his hand and shook it neatly, before pulling him into another tight hug. Cheek pressed tightly to his chest, her voice was low enough that he had to strain to hear it, but the words were unmistakable. “Thank you!”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So I can't promise next chapter will be cheerful, because I don't know yet if it will be or not, but it definitely won't be this intense. Until the companion fic, I don't plan on dredging up too much more of alt-Hyuck's past, so we can leave it here and move on with Prime-Hyuck's future. :)</p>
<p>As ever, critique, constructive criticism and thoughts of any kind are encouraged. Your feedback constantly makes me strive to improve, and it's appreciated more than I can express. &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0055"><h2>55. Chapter 55</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'll keep this short. Today is my 1 year NCT ficdom anniversary, starting 365 days ago with Chapter 1 of what became this not-so-little behemoth. I can't honestly believe it's become what it is, and that so many people have joined me on this journey, but I'm so grateful. As a token of my gratitude, allow me to offer you up Markhyuck doing what they do best...being hopelessly whipped.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>After everything that had gone down with Hyojin, Donghyuck was grateful that the week that followed started significantly less eventfully than the one before. It still felt a little strange not to have his secret hanging over them all like a dark cloud anymore, especially when spending time with the maknaes at lunch or diving headfirst back into rehearsals for the musical with Dejun, but he certainly wasn't complaining.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Whilst initially reluctant to intrude, Hyojin had even taken Donghyuck up on his offer to sit at their lunch table a couple of times. She had yet to brave social niceties with the majority of the group outside the cafeteria, despite the open invitation whenever she decided she was ready, but one of the remaining empty seats at their table had become hers in all but name.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Surprising absolutely everyone, including the two teenagers in question, Hyojin and Renjun had quickly become firm friends. From almost the very first minute after they were introduced—ignoring the awkward interaction immediately following her and Donghyuck’s heart to heart, in which Renjun had actually growled at her from over Jaemin’s shoulder—they had found common ground in their love of art and painting.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Renjun had quickly gained another recruit to help with the never-ending pile of stage sets that needed decorating, while Hyojin had found herself armed with a patient mind and a supportive ear. He didn't know the details, nor did he want to, but Donghyuck knew that Renjun and Hyojin had started to open up to each other about their experiences with the other Donghyuck, in a way that they simply couldn’t with him around.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn't begrudge them at all. In fact, he was glad that they both had someone else like that in their lives. While his relationship with Hyojin had recently come a long way—and Renjun was, of course, one of the people he trusted most in the universe—he knew it had to be tough to talk openly to him about a boy who shared his face. No matter how different he acted, he still looked identical to the Lee Donghyuck who had caused them both pain, even if it hadn't really been him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Still, Renjun had effortlessly made Hyojin start to feel welcome in their friendship group, slowly drawing Jeno and then Jisung into casual conversations over lunch to ease her in at her own pace. It had given Donghyuck a renewed appreciation for Renjun’s maturity and for the positive influence he had over the people around him, even if the boy often didn't see it in himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This week hadn't all been plain sailing though, Donghyuck reminded himself, as Chenle dropped a tray piled high with spaghetti down onto the table next to Yukhei’s elbow and slid into his usual spot on the bench seat. Knowing what would follow, Donghyuck waited patiently for a few seconds, not even managing to count to five before Jisung slumped down into the seat opposite, long fingers wrapped neatly around two neon blue energy drinks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He passed one across to Chenle, who nearly tipped half the pasta into his lap as he attempted to pass Jisung’s share of the hot food over with just one hand, and then Jisung’s dark eyes flicked invariably across to Donghyuck. They locked gazes for a long moment, Jisung ignoring his lunch as he examined Donghyuck’s face, before the younger boy flinched like he’d been burned and looked away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was the same thing that happened every single day now, without fail, although Donghyuck still had no idea what Jisung was searching for in his expression. He never seemed to find it, and the frustration flowing off him every time he failed was palpable, but he never said anything. Just stared somberly, eyes trying to bore into Donghyuck’s soul for a few seconds, and then went back to whatever he’d been doing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was understandable really, Donghyuck knew, based on all the information that had been dumped on Jisung in the past week. He’d made it very clear that he didn't believe a word of it, and that hadn’t changed, but Donghyuck found himself hating the way that their relationship had lost something crucial in the exchange. Jisung wasn't otherwise acting different—in fact, he seemed determined to pretend absolutely nothing was amiss—but Donghyuck could see it, the hidden depths beyond the facade, in stolen moments like this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The distance.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The trust that had been lost.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck just hoped that it hadn't been lost forever. He still wasn't sure how to fix this, how to convince Jisung of something that, by all logic, should be impossible, but he hadn't given up just yet. If time was what Jisung needed, Donghyuck would happily wait as long as it took. After all, he was still not much closer to leaving this reality than he had been when he’d arrived, so he had time. He could be patient.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyuck?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Blinking as he dragged his eyes from the side of Jisung’s pale face, Donghyuck glanced across the table to where Mark sat beside Jeno. Mark was watching him expectantly, so he quickly flashed the boy an apologetic smile. “Sorry. What did you say?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Here.” Mark held out a hand towards him, a pile of crumpled grey fabric spilling through his fingers as he moved. Donghyuck took it, frowning down at the familiar logo emblazoned across the hoodie as it landed in his lap, but Mark just continued to smile happily at him. “Jaehyun-hyung said you left this in his room last time you were there. He wanted me to give it back to you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” He glanced down at the piece of clothing again, vaguely recalling that he’d taken it off while watching television with Jungwoo and Yuta in the Annex living room a few weeks back. He wasn't quite sure how it had ended up in Jaehyun’s room, but he figured someone must have tidied it up when he wasn’t looking. Probably Taeil. Heavens knew the rest of them didn't help with chores unless coerced or threatened. “Thanks.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s no problem.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He really was a sucker for Mark’s smile, Donghyuck thought, as he watched the other boy continue to beam at him like he’d just offered up the greatest compliment in the world. A thought struck him as he tried not to melt into a puddle of feelings in the middle of the cafeteria, and he frowned a little. “Did you go and see your brother this week then?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh...” Mark appeared taken aback by Donghyuck’s question, but he recovered quickly. “Yeah. Yeah, I did.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cool.” Donghyuck was still a little distracted by the way the tiny lights in Mark’s eyes seemed to dance as he spoke, so he ignored the hesitation in his answer. “Next time you go, let me know and we can carpool, okay? It’ll save you some money on the bus fare if I drive.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh, sure.” Mark looked like he wanted to say something more, but the bell announcing the end of lunch chose that moment to interrupt them. Instead, Mark just sighed and pulled part of his lower lip between his teeth thoughtfully, before getting to his feet and starting to clear away the remains of his food.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ve got soccer after school today, right?” Donghyuck heard Jaemin asking Jeno somewhere behind him, as he followed Mark towards where he could dispose of his tray. Jeno must have made some noise in the affirmative, because Jaemin continued. “Can I get a ride home after? I have dance until six, but Junie wants to stay later to work on his project for History.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course. You don’t even need to ask, baby.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck let the low hum of familiar conversation wash over him as he slotted his tray in on top of Mark’s, and then headed back to the table to grab his bag. Mark made it before he could, passing the bag up with another easy smile that made Donghyuck’s heart skip a beat. He then retrieved his own, and the two of them followed the rest of their friends out into the hallway.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Hyuck?” For the second time in about as many minutes, Donghyuck found himself pausing what he was doing to focus on Mark’s expectant, wide-eyed expression. This time, Mark didn't offer him clothing, but there was a hint of nervousness in his eyes that Donghyuck couldn't quite place.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was thinking,” Mark said slowly, watching Donghyuck’s face carefully as he did so, “that it’s been a while since we did anything outside of school, just for fun.” He paused, as though trying to gauge Donghyuck’s reaction, so the other boy nodded. It </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> been a while, especially given everything else that had been going on. “Do you want to maybe go to that cafe in town sometime? The one that you and the others are always raving about.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wasn't sure why, but Mark actually looked nervous, like he thought Donghyuck might say no. The mere concept of that was so unthinkable that he grinned, a small snort of laughter escaping his lips before he could contain it. There was nothing Donghyuck wanted more than to spend time with his friends, his members—especially Mark—so there was no reason for Mark to be so concerned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We don’t have to…” Mark continued, face falling at Donghyuck’s reaction. “We could do something else. Or, you know, not—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Too late, Donghyuck realised that his laugh could have been grossly misinterpreted, and he quickly shook his head. “No, no. I want to. Sorry.” Some of the hurt in Mark’s eyes started to slowly dissolve at those words, so Donghyuck hurried to continue. “That’s a great idea. We could go at the weekend, if you want to.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That would be gr—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m pretty sure they have big enough tables in the back to fit everyone,” he continued, bouncing a little on his heels as he beamed up at Mark. Confusion bled back into Mark’s expression as they stared at one another so Donghyuck pressed on enthusiastically, hoping to distract the other boy from his previous faux pas. “It would be nice to do something together, all of us. I know Yukhei hasn’t been there yet either, and Jeno mentioned a new drink on the menu he’s been meaning to try.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Should we invite Hyojin?” Donghyuck asked, after a moment’s thought. “I know she’s still a bit nervous around the whole group, but we could ask.” He paused, the gears inside his head turning a little too fast now for his own good. “Maybe even Dejun-hyung and Kunhang-hyung? Although I wonder if they’d say yes. They might be too busy, or—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s a lot of people,” Mark said quietly. There was a small, soft smile on his lips as he watched Donghyuck’s mind spiral in a thousand different directions, but there was also a hint of sadness hidden beneath it that took Donghyuck a beat longer to catch. He wasn't sure what he’d just said to make the boy upset, but he needed to make it right immediately.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe that is too many,” he conceded. “This is your idea, after all. Who did you want to invite?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I—” It was Mark’s turn to hesitate now, his brows pulling down just a little in the middle as he traced the lines of Donghyuck’s face with his gaze. He opened his mouth, then promptly closed it again. He seemed to think for a long time, before finally speaking. “You know, getting everyone together </span>
  <em>
    <span>does</span>
  </em>
  <span> sound fun.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure?” Mark hadn’t quite been able to hide the trace of reluctance in his eyes, and Donghyuck suddenly felt guilty for trying to force such a large group outing onto Mark. The Mark he knew would have told him the more the merrier, used to large, rowdy groups from the very first day he’d joined SM as a trainee, and would have happily let Donghyuck take over planning in a heartbeat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This wasn’t the Mark he knew though, no matter how difficult it was for Donghyuck to separate the two of them in his mind sometimes. He needed to remember that this Mark didn't have the exact same experiences as his Mark, and that </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> Mark might not be as comfortable with all the things Donghyuck had always taken for granted. He needed to learn this Mark all over again, and not to assume anything.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure.” Mark sounded assured and confident as he spoke this time, and his easy, genial smile was firmly back in place. “Don’t worry. I’ll speak to our resident party planner and set something up for this weekend.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck knew he meant Jaemin, who was by far the most organised person in their small group when it came to things like this. Jaemin loved to be involved in absolutely everything, even if just to satisfy his insatiable nosiness, so he was sure the younger boy would be thrilled to have Mark ask him for help. It might even serve a dual purpose as a bonding experience for the two of them as well, which Donghyuck was very much in favour of.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sounds good to me.” Donghyuck patted Mark on the arm, tactically avoiding meeting Mark’s eye as he did so, and then glanced over towards where he knew Renjun would be waiting for him by the stairs. They shared their next class, and they usually walked together, so he was going to make them both late if he didn't leave soon. “I’ve got to go, but message me later, okay? Let me know what Jaemin says.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I will. I promise.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was funny, Donghyuck thought, as he hurried to catch up with Renjun, how Mark always managed to make a simple promise sound like a vow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As he watched Donghyuck push open the door to the cafe, stepping out of the rain and into the warmth of the cozy interior, Mark was struck by an unplaceable sense of deja vu. He had never been here before, having arrived for the first time just ten minutes before the boy now brushing the raindrops free from his hair in the entryway, but there was something about this moment that felt eerily familiar and entirely alien at the same time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mark sat by the large street-facing window, his small table set with just two pastel yellow placemats, fiddling restlessly with his fingers as he traced the lines in the wood grain of the tabletop. A book bag was slung over the back of his chair, the strap straining under the weight of its contents, and Mark’s favourite jacket was neatly folded on the low windowsill beside him. He had chosen this table to be conspicuous, so that Donghyuck would easily spot him as soon as he walked in, but, now that the other boy was actually here, part of Mark was sorely regretting his decision.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck didn't notice him immediately, stepping around one of the slim wooden support beams and peering off into the far corner of the room before he finally met Mark’s eye. He froze for a moment as their eyes met, examining Mark’s surroundings with unmistakable curiosity and confusion, but then he hurried over, a small smile curling up the corners of his lips adorably.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everything about this boy was adorable, Mark thought, as Donghyuck stepped up behind the unoccupied chair across from him, fingers curling around the painted wooden frame as he stared down at his friend. Mark blinked slowly, still not quite believing that this was really happening, and then forced himself to smile around the butterflies steadily building in his gut.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey.” Donghyuck returned his smile full force, like he was unable to resist, and then pulled out the empty chair. Shrugging out of his damp coat, he slung it across the back of the chair and sank down into his seat. Folding his arms, Donghyuck dropped his elbows onto the table and glanced down, allowing Mark to take a second to appreciate just how beautiful he looked in this moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His eyelids were hooded, like he’d woken up a few minutes ago and rolled straight out of bed into his car, and his cheeks were still a little flushed from the chill in the air outside, but there was something so utterly captivating about Donghyuck right then that it made Mark’s heart beat faster.  If he wasn't already certain that this boy held his heart in the palm of his hand, he’d have offered it up all over again just to be able to experience this moment a little longer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you cold?” Donghyuck’s hair was still damp, and he’d removed his coat to reveal only a thin sweater underneath, so Mark needed to ask. The cafe interior was toasty warm, and he didn't think either of them had been out in the rain for more than a few minutes, but he didn't want Donghyuck to get sick. Not to mention, he was sure he’d start to turn the shade of a tomato if the other boy kept staring at him like that, so he felt like he had to say something.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine.” Donghyuck lifted his head and offered Mark another easy smile, then glanced over towards the door that led out into the street. He examined it for a few seconds, before casting his eyes over the rest of the near-empty cafe again. “Where are the others?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Mark didn't immediately offer up an answer, Donghyuck twisted back around to face him. He knew that Donghyuck would instantly be able to pick up on his nerves, even as he slid his hands off the table and into his lap to avoid awkward questions about the thin sheen of sweat forming on his palms, but Mark didn't expect the trace of fear that flashed across his friend’s face as Donghyuck stared at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong, Mark?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nothing’s wrong.” Mark swallowed hard and then dropped his gaze back to his fingers, which had taken to folding and unfolding themselves into the fabric of his jeans over his knees. “I mean—” He sighed heavily. He couldn't hide it forever, even if the prospect of Donghyuck’s response to his deception terrified him. “They’re not coming, Donghyuck-ah. None of them are coming.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” He could feel Donghyuck’s gaze resting heavily on his face as he pointedly avoided eye contact, pretending to have found something on the floor between his feet that was particularly fascinating. He heard the other boy huff out a breath and shift in his seat, glancing up just in time to see Donghyuck slip a hand into his pocket and pull out his phone. “I can’t believe they would all stand you up like that. That’s just rude.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, it’s fine—” Mark tried to insist, eyes widening in panic, but Donghyuck ignored his protests. Illuminating the screen with a flick of his wrist, Mark watched as fingers started to fly across the screen. Again, he tried to protest, to stop Donghyuck pressing send on whatever rebuke he was currently crafting, but the other boy simply ignored him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck’s phone impacted the placemat in front of him a little too forcefully as he placed it down, deed done. A second later, Mark’s own device rumbled on the tabletop at his elbow, announcing the arrival of a new message to their group chat. He didn't particularly want to see what Donghyuck had said, or to witness the inevitable responses from their friends, but he found his hand drifting across towards the device regardless.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Hyuckie: Where are you all? Why aren’t you here?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mark stared at the screen, willing the tiny characters to spontaneously dissolve into nothingness. Better yet, he sent up a silent prayer that perhaps none of the other recipients would have their phones accessible right now. He knew that they were all well aware of the situation, and of what Mark had—or hadn’t—told Donghyuck about today, but he still didn't trust them not to make this harder for him to explain.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The device in his hand vibrated once, and then again, two messages coming through almost simultaneously. Donghyuck grabbed for his own phone on the table, eager to see what had been said, even as Mark scanned the responses and then willed the ground beneath him to open up, swallowing him whole.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Chenle: We’re all at Jaemin-hyung’s house. He made us strawberry pancakes.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Renjun: Hiding from you…</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck’s jaw dropped as he read the second message, and Mark stifled a startled bleat of laughter with a hand over his mouth, despite the situation. There was no way to explain away Renjun’s message now without admitting everything—something he would be sure to thank the other boy for when he saw him next—but he could still appreciate the absurdity of it all.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He supposed it was time to come clean, now that Donghyuck had been suitably baffled and scandalised by his friends’ responses. Mark just hoped Donghyuck would forgive them—and him—once he admitted to the real reason why they were the only two here. Why Mark had </span>
  <em>
    <span>asked</span>
  </em>
  <span> for the others to stay away, and to find somewhere else to be this afternoon.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As he opened his mouth to speak, to start to explain everything, the two phones vibrated one more time. This time Donghyuck beat him to it, Mark opening the chat notification a split second after the boy sat across from him, allowing him to see the exact moment that understanding dawned on Donghyuck’s face in terrifying technicolour.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Jaemin: Lee Donghyuck, I love you, but you’re an idiot. Look up and use your damn brain!</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not an—” Without warning, Donghyuck’s gaze snapped up to meet Mark’s, abruptly filled with such intensity that it took Mark a few seconds to recover. Those bottomless eyes were beseeching him to explain, to lay the clues out in such a way that Donghyuck could finally understand whatever it was that he was clearly missing. Mark just stared back, silently urging him to understand—</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There it was, the moment of realisation, writ plain for the world to see. Donghyuck’s eyes blew wide and his bottom lip quivered, lips parted like he’d forgotten to close his mouth as the cogs started turning inside his head. Started turning and then continued to turn, Mark noted helplessly, until he was ready to beg Donghyuck to say or do something. Anything. Even if that something was to stand up and walk out; that, at least, would free them from this cloying stalemate.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is this—” Donghyuck seemed to struggle to spit the words out, a frown pressing his brows down over his eyes with each passing second of silence, but he needn’t have worried. As he had been since the very day they met, Mark was still hopelessly hung up on every single one. “Mark Suh, is this a date?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can explain—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, fuck! It is, isn’t it.” Donghyuck let out a breath in a heavy gust, one that Mark felt ghost lazily across his cheek from all the way across the table, and his whole body slumped down into the chair under Mark’s gaze. “You tried to tell me the other day at school, didn't you, and I bulldozed right over it? I just started inviting people, running my big mouth and ruining your plans, and you were entirely too nice to turn around and tell me to shut up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mark smirked at that, which seemed to lift some of the weight from Donghyuck’s shoulders. “I could never tell you to shut up. Not when I could see how happy you were.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But I ruined everything.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you?” Now that he could see that Donghyuck was more concerned about hurting his feelings than being annoyed that Mark had lied to him—however innocent his intentions had been—Mark started to relax a little. He still didn't know what Donghyuck thought about the prospect, or whether he would have agreed to this if he’d known, but he was ninety-nine percent sure that the other boy wasn't about to make a break for the exit. “The way I see it, things could still work out okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I guess.” Donghyuck let his gaze land squarely on Mark’s face again, this time without a trace of the frustration and hesitation he had been harbouring previously. “So, is the offer still on the table?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Huh?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The date, dumbass,” Donghyuck told him, like it should have been obvious. Mark wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry at the obstinate expression on Donghyuck’s face, so he opted to wait for him to finish his sentence instead. “I’m sure this isn’t quite how you imagined it, but we can start over if you want. I’ll even go outside and walk back in, if that helps.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyuck, it’s raining,” Mark pointed out, waving one hand pointedly towards the moisture-streaked window beside them. “You’ll catch a cold if you go back outside for no reason.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It wouldn’t be for no reason. Not if it worked.” Donghyuck eyed him in a way that made Mark more than a little nervous, like he had already made up his mind about something important and it was now only a matter of time before the whole world fell into step behind him. “Ask me again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I—What?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ask me again, please?” Donghyuck sounded so earnest right now, Mark knew he’d never be able to say no, even if he wanted to. “I want to do this right.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” If this was what he wanted, Mark would do his best. Even if the blind panic he felt at the prospect of saying the words out loud was what had caused this whole misunderstanding in the first place. He’d been too much of a coward the first time to simply ask for what he wanted, framing the question so hopelessly vaguely that he’d had to pretend to organize an entire party to cover up for his failure, but now he had nowhere left to hide. “Lee Donghyuck, will you go on a date with me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course I will.” Donghyuck beamed at him, and Mark’s cheeks flamed crimson. He ducked his head in an attempt to avoid Donghyuck’s gaze, but the other boy leaned down onto his elbows and tracked his movement, not letting Mark escape scrutiny that easily. “You never need to worry about my response, Mark. When it comes to you, the answer will always be yes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This time, it was Mark’s turn to be dumbstruck, staring up at Donghyuck like the boy held the entire cosmos in his fingers, right alongside Mark’s heart. There was no way he deserved to be sat across from Donghyuck right now—indeed, he was acutely aware of the myriad impossibilities and unfathomable shifts in the fabric of reality that had conspired to bring them both to this point—but he wasn't about to waste this gift that the universe had dropped into his lap.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you getting?” Donghyuck asked, startling Mark back into the moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Huh?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“From the drinks menu.” Donghyuck waved a small laminated card in the air in front of him, one he recognized all too well from the six times he’d read it through in its entirety while waiting anxiously for the other boy to arrive. When it became clear he was expected to take it, he plucked it from Donghyuck’s hands, peering down at it despite already having made his choice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The cocoa matcha latte looks pretty good. What about you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If he was honest, Mark didn't much care what he was drinking. It didn't even matter where they were right now, or what they were doing. What mattered was that Donghyuck had said yes. There were still so many unanswered questions in his immediate future—in their future—but right now, they were both on the same page. In perfect agreement. As they were meant to be.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d said yes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where am I dropping you off?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Meandering down the street towards where he’d left his parked car, Donghyuck couldn't help but lean a little into Mark’s elbow as they kept pace side by side. He wasn't nearly ready for their afternoon together to be over, fleetingly short despite nursing coffee after coffee at their cozy window table until the cafe owner had come out from the back and practically begged them to leave, so he hoped wherever Mark was staying wasn't too close by.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I told you,” Mark muttered, arms folding across his chest as he looked down at the boy by his side. The expression on his face was enduringly indulgent, but the mild exasperation from the recurring discussion was evident despite his smile. “You don’t need to drive me home. It’s too far.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It can’t be </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> far.” They were almost to the car now, headlights winking through the gathering twilight as Donghyuck tapped the button on the key in his hand. Mark stopped resolutely beside the driver’s door, not making any moves towards the passenger side, so Donghyuck continued to stare him down. He knew that Mark didn't want to burden him, despite Donghyuck having made it abundantly clear that he enjoyed Mark’s company, but he wasn't backing down. “You’ll have to wait at least half an hour for the next bus, and it’s freezing out here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn't raining anymore, although the ground was still slick and the puddles that pooled in the camber of the sidewalk were deep in places, but the moisture that still hung in the air made the wind chill that bit more severe. Mark was shivering, even wrapped up in his jacket, and Donghyuck already knew he’d never be able to just drive away and leave him here. They’d leave together, or not at all—not until the bus came.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyuck, it’s fine.” Mark sighed, but didn't resist when Donghyuck gently started to nudge him towards the opposite side of the vehicle. He seemed to have resigned himself to following Donghyuck’s lead, even as he continued to protest. Donghyuck just wished he understood why. “You really don’t need to.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I insist. Just get in.” Donghyuck pulled open the passenger door, and Mark climbed inside without another word. Hurrying around to the driver’s side before Mark could change his mind, he hopped up into his seat and pulled the door closed, flicking all the heating vents open before reaching for the ignition. “Was that really so hard?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” Mark admitted. Twisting around in his seat, Mark tucked his knees into the crook of the passenger seat and propped his chin up on his palm. Their eyes met over the centre console and his lips curled up into a small, affectionate grin, his whole face softening as he let his eyes drift over Donghyuck’s face. “I had a really good time today, Hyuck-ah.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Me too.” That smile just demanded to be mirrored, so Donghyuck followed his instincts, leaning in towards Mark a little without even realising he’d moved. There was still a small, integral part of him that was terrified of the way things were moving between them, an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach that he would only begin to explore in the safety of his bedroom when he was completely alone, but he pushed it away for now. “Thank you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Anytime.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll hold you to that.” Donghyuck cleared his throat, urging the car to life, and Mark blinked as though coming out of a trace. His smile never faded, but he seemed to abruptly remember where they were and what needed to happen next, peering out into the sodden street beyond the windscreen. “Okay. Where to, Romeo?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The university campus.” It took Donghyuck a moment to process Mark’s words, and the confusion playing across his face was not lost on the boy curled up in his passenger seat. Mark’s grin turned mischievous and he chuckled indulgently. “I told you it was a long drive.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How?” Now that Mark said it, Donghyuck supposed it made perfect sense. He wasn't sure why he’d been so convinced that Mark had been staying closer to Neo City, when he didn't know anyone here except Donghyuck, Jeno and their friends. There were other schools that were closer to the university, although not ones with the specific soccer program he had been recruited into, but his brother was still the only family he had in this country. “How do you make it to school on time?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>That’s</span>
  </em>
  <span> the thing you focused on?” Mark asked, with another soft chuckle. “Not the fact that I’m about to make you drive at least an hour out of your way to take me home?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t care about that,” Donghyuck insisted, shaking his head. “It’s Saturday, so I can crash in Jaehyun’s room tonight if I need to, but it’s worth it if it means we get to keep talking for a while longer. I just can’t believe you have to get a bus all the way from Greek Row every day. That has to be at least—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Two hours,” Mark said matter of factly, shrugging like it was not the big deal it so clearly was. “In the morning, it’s slightly quicker, but the bus route takes about two hours each way. It’s not ideal, but it’s worth it. Johnny-hyung wanted me to go to the high school just off campus, but I wouldn’t change this for the world.” He hesitated. “I—I wouldn’t change a minute of it, because I led me to you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was that look again, Donghyuck thought absently, as he tried to split his focus equally between the dark road ahead and Mark’s face. That look made him want nothing more than to pull the car over and tug Mark in close, to wrap him up in his arms and promise him everything and more. That look that was starting to convince him that Mark’s feelings were not quite as platonic as he’d first thought.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad it did.” He didn't speak loudly, his voice barely a whisper. He didn't need to, in the warm, comfortable silence that encompassed the two of them within the small car. Mark would hear him, and would understand. They both had a lot to process—and the aforementioned thread of fear was still there just beneath the surface, waiting for Donghyuck to allow it break free—but he would forever be grateful for the opportunity he had been given to get to know this Mark Lee.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This Mark Suh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The rest of the car journey passed far too quickly, the conversation shifting back to the lighter topics they had been discussing before they left the cafe. The distance melted away, as Donghyuck let himself exist in the moment and enjoy getting to know this version of Mark better. He made sure to take note of each of the differences he noted, as they came up, and the way that this Mark’s life experiences coloured his tastes and interests.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The core of his character was the same, Donghyuck had first noted back at the cafe. The same underlying framework, but many of the things that brought him to life were distinctly his own in this reality. Instead of being off-putting, it just made Donghyuck want to dive deeper, to work even harder to discover all the things that made Mark Suh tick. To discover all the reasons to love him all over again, and to truly appreciate them—and him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was almost completely dark by the time they pulled up outside Alpha Beta Eta. Dozens of lights illuminated the windows of the ground floor, flooding the sidewalk with a harsh yellow and orange glow as he parked, although there were only a few people around as they made their way through the main house and out into the garden. The Annex was similarly lit from within, so Donghyuck figured at least one of his hyungs was home.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello?” It was Mark who spoke up as he fished a key out of his pocket and unlocked the front door, stepping aside to allow Donghyuck to enter first. Once they were both inside, he locked it behind them, dumping his bag and shoes on the floor a few feet away. “Anyone here? I’m home.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kitchen!” Donghyuck wasn't sure which voice called out to them, but it was Yuta’s head that appeared around the corner a moment later, eyes widening in surprise when he took in the pair of them. “Oh. Hey, little one. Didn’t expect to see you here tonight.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You alone?” Mark asked, stepping further into the room. Donghyuck shrugged off his coat and folded it on top of Mark’s before he followed. The chances of him driving home tonight were slim to none now, given how late it was, so he figured he might as well make himself at home. His parents would understand, provided he didn't forget his coat like he had his hoodie the last time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nah. Sicheng is over, and we’re making smoothies.” Yuta tilted his head towards the open kitchen door as Mark reached him, pulling the younger boy in for a loose hug. He held out his free arm towards Donghyuck, who was only too happy to allow Yuta to fold him into the joint embrace.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Trying to make smoothies anyway,” Sicheng corrected, poking his head out to see where Yuta had disappeared to. “The blender has about a hundred settings, and Yuta-hyung can’t use any of them properly.” He smirked, the smile lighting up his whole face as he watched for Yuta’s reaction, but the older man just grinned happily at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Guilty as charged.” Yuta shrugged, waving them all towards the kitchen. Donghyuck followed Sicheng inside, quietly taking in the chaotic mess of ingredients layering every available inch of counter space. Apparently, this duo were as culinarily challenged in this reality as in the one he’d come from. It was probably a good thing he was here to save them, even if Mark was likely to be about as useful as a fish out of water.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let me help you,” he muttered, heading for the blender. It currently housed a sickeningly grey substance, which looked to have half a banana floating near the surface, and Sicheng cringed as they stared down into it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know what that’s meant to be. Like I said, we tried.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We can fix it,” Donghyuck assured him, lifting the detachable part of the device off the base and carrying it over towards the sink. “Just take a seat, and I’ll be back in a second.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sicheng did as he was told, and Donghyuck made his way past Mark and Yuta, who had congregated somewhere between the fridge and the large double sink. As he passed, he heard Mark whisper something that almost made him pause and turn back. “Still in the friend zone, huh?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hardly,” Yuta hissed back, mild indignation warring for dominance momentarily against the peaceful contentment that had practically been painted into his face by Sicheng’s presence. “I’m working on it.” Mark smirked evilly at him, even as Yuta scowled half-heartedly. “I am! You’ll see, Markie.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure, hyung. Whatever you say.” Donghyuck skirted around the two of them as Yuta hooked an arm around Mark’s neck in a pale imitation of a headlock, ruffling his hair playfully. He quickly dumped the disaster of a smoothie into the sink, trying not to dwell too long on the indistinguishable lumps at the bottom, and started to wash out the plastic container under the tap.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyuck-ah? What are you doing here?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donghyuck narrowly avoided dumping a sink full of lukewarm water down his shirt, jumping in surprise at the unexpected voice calling his name. Spinning around, he met his brother’s eye from across the room, the older man breaking into a massive grin as he did so. He returned it just as enthusiastically, Jaehyun quickly crossing the large kitchen to scoop Donghyuck up into a back-breaking bearhug.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I brought Mark-hyung home,” he told Jaehyun, patting his brother’s back affectionately when it became clear that Jaehyun wasn't planning to release him any time soon. If anything, the older man clung tighter to him as he spoke, and Donghyuck let himself melt into the embrace, damp fingers be damned. “We were hanging out together this afternoon, and it got late. I didn't want him to have to wait for the bus.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s a long way, Hyuckie,” Jaehyun said, leaning back just enough to be able to glance down at Donghyuck. His eyes were a clear rebuke, even though Donghyuck knew he hadn’t done anything wrong. “I won’t let you drive home tonight, so don’t even think about it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wasn’t planning on it,” Donghyuck agreed, smirking up at his brother. “I’ll take your bed, and you can take the floor.” Jaehyun snorted, both of them knowing the chances of that were next to zero, but Donghyuck wasn't done. Making sure not to put any real force behind it, he punched the nearest part of Jaehyun’s upper arm he could reach, causing the man to yelp in surprise.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What was that for?” Jaehyun actually pouted, which just made Donghyuck laugh again, before remembering why he’d done it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s for not telling me that Mark-hyung has been living here all semester!” He knew that, logically, this wasn't Jaehyun’s fault—nor anyone else’s, if he was honest—but his brother was the only one within reach right now, and he was an easy target. “He has to sit on a bus for four hours every day, hyung. It’s not fair.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Jaehyun agreed, stepping back from Donghyuck to survey the room. His eyes landed on Mark, sitting beside Yuta at the long island in the centre of the room, and he frowned. “If we could make it any easier on him, we would, but this is just the way it is.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, it shouldn't be,” Donghyuck insisted, staring up at his brother like Jaehyun could somehow solve all Mark’s problems right this instant if he wanted it enough. He knew that Jaehyun was as powerless to help as he was, but he willed the older man to surprise him. If Donghyuck had ever needed academic help in the past, he’d always turned to Doyoung or Johnny through force of habit, but Jaehyun was just as smart when he needed to be. “There has to be a better option.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know…” Jaehyun sounded disappointed in himself, that he couldn't fix things for Mark, the corners of his mouth pitching down into a frown. Donghyuck started to wonder if he’d been a little too harsh with his brother, and if he should perhaps apologise, but then something like revelation lit up Jaehyun’s eyes. “Wait. There might be one solution.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What is it?” Donghyuck saw Mark sit up a little straighter in his chair, the attention of the entire room abruptly fixed on Jaehyun. The man smirked slyly, glancing down at his younger brother once more, before fixing his gaze unwaveringly back onto Mark. That one look harboured so much mischief that Donghyuck suddenly wanted to take it all back, knowing that he wasn't going to like whatever followed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyung?” Mark asked. Jaehyun grinned again, squeezing Donghyuck’s waist as he pulled the shorter boy into his side. For a moment, Jaehyun didn't respond, fingers tapping out a lazy rhythm against Donghyuck’s hip, but then he shattered the peace with his next words.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stay with our family,” Jaehyun told Mark perfunctorily, like this was a business deal he was brokering. “My room has been empty since I left for college, save for holidays, and we have plenty of space. That way, you and Hyuck can carpool to school every day and you’ll be less than fifteen minutes away.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hyung, I don’t think that’s—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure that’s—?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know why we didn't think of this sooner,” Jaehyun continued, ignoring the shell-shocked expressions on the faces of the two teenagers currently staring at each other across the Annex kitchen. Mark’s face was a riot of conflicting emotions, panic and shock winning out over the rest for now, while Donghyuck knew his own would be a similar picture of dissonance.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Think Johnny will go for it?” Yuta spoke up, pulling Jaehyun’s attention from Mark’s face temporarily. The younger man shrugged and then nodded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t see why not. It’s easier on everyone involved.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everyone except me, Donghyuck thought dazedly, as Jaehyun pulled his phone out and fired off a message to Johnny. Mark allowed himself to be pulled back into his seat by Yuta, who quickly engaged him in conversation, leaving Donghyuck standing by himself in the middle of the room like driftwood floating in a vast ocean of confusion.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knew that logistically this would make life far easier on Mark, that much was obvious. In that respect, he had to admit that Jaehyun’s proposal was flawless. Mark could get rides to and from school from any of his car-owning friends, at reasonable times, freeing him from a grueling bus schedule every day. There was just the small matter of exact location to consider.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mark at his house meant that there would be nowhere to run, nowhere to hide when he needed to process his feelings away from the boy who never failed to stop him dead in his tracks. No safe haven to try to figure out what he was going to do about all of this—about Mark—because the biggest threat to his heart would be inside said safe haven. No, this was all around a dangerous move. One Donghyuck wasn't sure he was ready to make.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Johnny-hyung is on board. You’re welcome, by the way.” Jaehyun's smirking face just inches from his own pulled Donghyuck back to reality like he’d been slapped. He blinked rapidly, clearing his vision as it tried to focus in on his brother. Jaehyun just continued to smile mischievously at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What for?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You need to figure out your feelings for Mark,” Jaehyun said, lowering his voice so that no one else could overhear them. “And fast.” Donghyuck’s heart hammered hard in his chest for a moment, before he forced himself to remember that Jaehyun knew more than enough to easily figure out the very real depth of his emotions. “Nothing like a little proximity to help you along.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I guess...”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun was right on one front, Donghyuck thought to himself, as he watched Yuta and Mark laughing as they cut fresh fruit for the recipe Sicheng was helpfully reciting to them in an indecipherable blend of Korean and Mandarin. That kind of proximity would force him to confront all the things he’d been putting off thinking about—all the thoughts he’d thus far refused to face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He just wasn't sure if he’d like what happened when he did.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>You know the drill by now. Thoughts? Let me hear them. Otherwise, have a wonderful day! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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